1
00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:12,744
Howie? Howie, wake up.
2
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:14,012
It's time.
3
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,781
Oh. Did your water break?
4
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,182
No.
5
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,084
Are you feeling
any contractions?
6
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,053
No.
7
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,721
Wait. Well,
where are you going?
8
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:23,855
To the hospital.
9
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:28,794
Today's my due date,
and this crap needs to end now.
10
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:32,330
Honey, babies don't
always come on their due date.
11
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,700
Halley was two weeks late.
12
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,103
But this baby's a boy.
13
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,205
They don't take
as long to get ready.
14
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,339
(laughs)
15
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,808
What are you doing?
16
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,544
I'm making the situation
better with humor.
17
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,847
Are you?
18
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,850
Would you rather me
make it better with magic?
19
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,586
Go back to sleep.
Ta-da!
(snaps fingers)
20
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:05,163
You know, I hear
that sex can induce labor.
21
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,566
Anything for my family.
22
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:12,170
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
23
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,607
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
24
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,042
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
25
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,978
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
26
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,514
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
27
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,050
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
28
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,185
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
29
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,821
♪ Bang! ♪
30
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,661
I believe today is
Bernadette's due date.
31
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,063
Yeah.
32
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,131
How do you know that?
33
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,601
Easy. 40 weeks from the date
of her last period.
34
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:46,238
And why do you know that?
35
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,575
Well, excuse me for taking
an interest in people.
36
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,544
(scoffs softly)
So, any day now.
37
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,879
Oh, I don't know.
38
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,147
We went to the doctor
this morning,
39
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,449
and she said it could still
be another week or two.
40
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,417
How's Bernadette holding up?
41
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,419
It's pretty rough.
42
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,323
She's having a hard time.
43
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,425
Why are you smiling?
44
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,895
I had sex twice
last night.
45
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,963
That's not fair!
She's on bed rest.
46
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,798
She can't run away.
47
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,634
It was her idea.
48
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,602
She read that it
can start labor.
49
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,171
Hmm. Is that true?
50
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,505
Well, I would have Googled it,
51
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,808
but I was busy
taking my pants off.
52
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,312
Yeah, not to brag, but
Amy's last birthday
53
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,448
brought my coital tally
up to four.
54
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,818
Whatever you're doing,
it's not bragging.
55
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:35,520
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey.
56
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,922
Hey.
Hey, I was just
57
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:37,956
talking about you.
58
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,224
Oh, should I ask?
59
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,159
You should not.
60
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,428
I'm trying to get
our grant proposal together.
61
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,130
Any chance you've finished up
those mechanical drawings?
62
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,199
Oh, sorry.
I was gonna do it last night,
63
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,400
but I got kind of busy.
64
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,469
Yeah, you did.
65
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,605
What are they talking about?
66
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,773
I'll give
you a hint.
67
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:58,076
It's something
that we have done four times.
68
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,611
Watched La La Land?
69
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,147
What? No. No.
70
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,616
I've not watched
La La Land four times.
71
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,284
If you find the
soundtrack on my phone,
72
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:09,054
that's just 'cause
our iTunes accounts are linked.
73
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,090
Looks like I might have
a little more time
74
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,058
before the baby gets here,
75
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,026
so why don't we just stay late
and get it done?
76
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,462
Well, I don't want you
to leave Bernadette alone.
77
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,164
Oh, we can hang out
and keep her company.
78
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,600
Yeah, absolutely.
See, see. Look at
my Netflix queue.
79
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:22,634
There's two documentaries
80
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,269
and the movie
Friends with Benefits,
81
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,670
which I thought
was a documentary
82
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,106
about employer
health care plans.
83
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,510
PENNY:
Hey, Bernie, it's me.
84
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,646
I let myself in.
85
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,148
Hey.
86
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,182
What are you doing?
87
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,185
I thought you were supposed
to be on bed rest.
88
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,120
That's done,
but I've been on stair rest
89
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,722
for the last 45 minutes.
90
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,624
Here, let me help you.
Yeah.
91
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,892
If you really want to help,
put on a rubber glove,
92
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,195
reach on up there
and start pulling.
93
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,530
I know you're joking,
but I grew up on a farm.
94
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,598
I'll do it.
95
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,001
Oh, I just want
this to be over.
96
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,069
You know, when
my yoga instructor was pregnant,
97
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,138
she told me
there are tons of poses
98
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,473
that put her right into labor.
99
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:02,807
I'll try,
100
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:07,412
but I feel like bendy poses
are what got me into this mess.
101
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:11,116
Okay, we're gonna start with
some nice breathing exercises.
102
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,784
(inhales, exhales)
103
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:17,355
Sorry. I can't think of anything
except how flat your belly is.
104
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,024
Oh, thank you.
105
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,860
Go put on some more clothes,
you bitch.
106
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,268
Okay, we go down...
107
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,471
and back up.
108
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:37,742
And back up!
109
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,945
Yeah, hearing you
is not the problem.
110
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,449
Put that phone away!
111
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,583
Smile.
112
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,852
(camera clicks)
113
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,188
I'm telling you,
there's an acupressure point
114
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:53,425
right above your ankle
that can induce contractions.
115
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,260
All right, but
just a warning.
116
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,728
My feet are a little swollen.
117
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,196
Oh, please, Bernadette.
118
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,499
I'm sure this-- okay.
119
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:02,901
What?
120
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,171
Nothing. Your ankles look fine,
and not at all
121
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,940
like I just popped open
a can of crescent rolls.
122
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,712
My mother believes that if
you're not prepared mentally,
123
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,814
it can delay your body
from going into labor.
124
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,283
So what are you trying to say?
It's my fault?
125
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,718
(sighs)
126
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,354
Raj is crazy.
127
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,523
Your ankles aren't that gross.
128
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,162
Hello.
129
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,232
Let me guess. You're here to
try to get me to go into labor.
130
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,202
Oh, please. I'm disgusted
when people sneeze,
131
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,938
and that's just stuff
coming out of their nose.
132
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,940
No.
133
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,009
I am here to sit with you
and keep you company.
134
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,244
Oh, that's nice.
135
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,214
Yeah, by playing
the most complicated board game
136
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:53,685
ever invented:
Campaign for North Africa.
137
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,186
I bought it off eBay.
138
00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:58,623
It smells a little like chili,
but all the pieces are there.
139
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,026
Come on, baby.
140
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:05,097
Get out here right now
and I'll buy you a pony.
141
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,668
Are there any engineers
on the grant committee?
142
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,370
I don't know. Why?
143
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,872
I didn't have time to figure out
144
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,073
the three-input
hydraulic manifold,
145
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,442
so this diagram is really just
a flux capacitor
146
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,010
from Back to the Future.
147
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,380
I'm sorry this is
on such short notice.
148
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,150
Hey, I just wish I could be
there when you present it.
149
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,351
That's okay.
150
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,720
It's more important that
you spend time with Michael.
151
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,889
Who's Michael?
152
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,091
Uh, your son?
153
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,826
No, it's not.
(chuckles)
154
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,062
My son doesn't have a name yet.
155
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,034
Okay, well, then,
Bernadette's son.
156
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,237
I can't believe her.
157
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,374
She knows I don't want
to name the baby after her dad.
158
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,843
What did you want
to name him?
I don't know.
159
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,212
We were gonna wait until
we saw what he looked like.
160
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,014
Well, it's a baby.
161
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,649
Her dad's
a wrinkly bald man.
162
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,785
That wasn't gonna
break your way.
163
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,196
Ah, come on!
164
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,434
Welcome to the next five to
eight weeks of your life.
165
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,137
Sheldon, I said
I didn't want to play your game.
166
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,739
Well, then don't
think of it as a game.
167
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,007
Think of it
168
00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,009
as a source of information
169
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:28,646
about one of the lesser known
campaigns of World War II.
170
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,415
You're right.
171
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,450
That's so much better.
172
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,285
I know, right?
173
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,355
Okay, first, we need to roll
to determine the weather.
174
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,692
It's a desert.
Isn't it gonna be hot?
175
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,440
(humming)
176
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,776
Yes.
177
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,781
Michael? Really, you think
we're naming him Michael?
178
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,450
Not now, Howard.
179
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,353
I'm in the middle of a game.
180
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:11,756
You wish. You are hundreds
of hours away from the middle.
181
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:21,065
I can't believe you're trying
to hijack our son's name.
182
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,335
Bernie?
183
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:27,706
BERNADETTE: This is as fast
as I move! Calm down!
184
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,482
So you're just gonna
name him Michael?
185
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,384
Were you even
gonna tell me?
186
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,685
I told you.
187
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,320
When?
188
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,990
Oh, right. That was Amy.
189
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,060
What's wrong with Michael?
It's my dad's name.
190
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:52,397
I don't want to name our son
after your father.
191
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:58,536
I didn't want to say
this, but he's dying.
192
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,972
He is?
193
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:04,342
Eventually. I mean, you
see the way the man eats.
194
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,312
Okay, is this the hormones,
195
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,914
or have you always been
a lunatic?
196
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,350
I don't even know anymore.
197
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,621
Bernie, this is our kid's name.
198
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,824
I think we should both agree.
199
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,260
You're right. We
both made this baby.
200
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,062
Thank you.
201
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,997
And I carried it, had to
stay in bed for four months,
202
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,298
sacrificed my body and my job,
203
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,467
and soon it's gonna
burst its way out of me
204
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:32,036
like the Kool-Aid Man.
205
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,839
Exactly. Fifty-fifty.
206
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,612
(quietly): I think I got
Bernadette in trouble.
207
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:41,613
Maybe we should go.
208
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,681
I-I can't.
209
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,249
She and I are playing
Campaign for North Africa.
210
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:46,217
(sighs)
211
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,187
She doesn't want to play that.
Hmm?
212
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,656
Neither did the Egyptians,
but that didn't stop Rommel.
213
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:52,824
(door opens)
214
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,827
Hey! I brought Chinese.
215
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,996
And I brought Indian.
216
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,366
What are you guys
doing here?
217
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,233
Sheldon texted and said
218
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,935
Bernadette wanted us all
to come over.
219
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:10,809
The game's best with
five to ten players.
220
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,847
Okay, if it's not Michael, then
what do you want to name him?
221
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:19,017
Harry, like Potter or Houdini.
222
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,253
It doesn't bother you that
I have an old boyfriend
223
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,254
named Harry?
224
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,491
Okay.
(clears throat)
225
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,527
How 'bout Al or Max or...
226
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,663
Ted or Kevin?
227
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,231
Same answer.
228
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,933
Hey, Bernadette,
it's your turn.
229
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,201
Penny's air force
230
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,571
is strafing
your supply line in Tobruk.
231
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:41,639
We're kind of busy.
232
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:44,442
Oh. 'Kay.
But you're being pretty rude.
233
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,945
Everyone did come over
to play this game with you.
234
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:52,850
You know, I always thought
Christian was a nice name.
235
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:53,951
I don't know.
236
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,489
Sounds a little
too uncircumcised.
237
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,991
Bernadette, it's your turn.
238
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:00,992
What about Greg?
239
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,394
All right,
I'll just roll for you.
240
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,997
Ooh! That is a good one!
241
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,332
Your troops' morale rating
is pretty high.
242
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,168
Now, Leonard, as the defender,
243
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,203
we need to subtract
your morale rating
244
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,504
from Bernadette's
to get a final
245
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,373
adjusted morale rating
for the assault.
246
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,576
And I will just check
the assault differential column.
247
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,379
Ooh! Who said war was hell?
248
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,614
Yeah, that's
a rhetorical question.
249
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,483
Sherman said it.
250
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,284
What about Sherman?
251
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,152
Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
252
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,890
Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna
take his mother to prom.
253
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,993
Hey, Howard,
you did that, right?
254
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,996
I didn't take her.
She chaperoned.
255
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,100
(chuckles)
We slow-danced once.
256
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,902
What about Paul?
257
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,905
Paul. Paul Wolowitz.
258
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,307
I like it.
259
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,309
Ooh, like "Koothra-paul-i."
260
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:56,214
Okay, you ruined it.
261
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,083
All right, that moves us on
to the tactical shipping phase.
262
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:02,086
Penny, I believe, as
logistics commander, that's you.
263
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:05,356
Okay. I surrender.
264
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,657
Nice try, Penny.
265
00:12:06,692 --> 00:12:08,893
It takes more
than everybody not enjoying it
266
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,363
to stop a game
with Sheldon Cooper.
267
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,298
Sheldon, we're talking
about something important here.
268
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,566
(sighs)
Fine.
269
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:18,369
If you pick a baby name,
can we get back to playing?
270
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,036
Sure.
271
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,138
All right, here we go.
272
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,573
Ranatanata.
273
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,043
You can't name him Ranatanata.
274
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,446
Oh, right, it's a boy.
That'd be ridiculous.
275
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,180
(gasps)
276
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:31,315
What about Ozymandias?
277
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:35,453
Are you making these up
or having a stroke?
278
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:39,023
Ozymandias is from a poem
by Percy Bysshe Shelley.
279
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,025
Oh, oh! Bysshe Wolowitz.
280
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,494
Solved. Back to the game.
281
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,097
Heyo! Sandstorm!
282
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,301
Some people name their
kids after places.
283
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:53,238
Like what, Walla
Walla Wolowitz?
284
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,242
If you think that is better
than Ozymandias Wolowitz,
285
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,944
then you have been breathing in
the poisonous gas
286
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,779
that my troops
illegally dispersed.
287
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,414
Ooh!
288
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,415
You okay?
289
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,150
Uh, I think that was
a contraction.
290
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:09,086
Is it time? Do we need
to go to the hospital?
291
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,154
No. We've been
through this before.
292
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,223
My water
hasn't even broken yet.
293
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,357
Never mind your water.
294
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,760
Has your mucus plug popped out?
295
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,062
Ew, no!
296
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,096
SHELDON:
Oh, you're right.
297
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,132
We probably would've heard that.
298
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,400
It's not a champagne cork.
299
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,404
Although that
would be festive.
300
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,005
You know what,
maybe we should go.
301
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,540
Did you have
another contraction?
302
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,275
No. I'm just worried
that Sheldon's gonna say
303
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,511
"mucus plug" again.
304
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:37,481
And I'm worried
one's gonna hit me in the eye.
305
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:38,382
Yep, it's time.
306
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,784
Should we take
two cars?
307
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,786
Uh, actually, could you
stay here and watch Halley?
308
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,121
That way we don't have to wait
for Bernadette's parents.
309
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,256
Yeah, you guys go.
We'll take care of her.
310
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,258
You have nothing
to worry about.
311
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,727
Well, not nothing.
There are U-boats approaching
312
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,129
the Suez Canal.
313
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,731
It's too late for us.
Go, go!
314
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,767
Save yourselves!
315
00:13:56,802 --> 00:14:00,038
Suez? Birth?
It's a big night for canals.
316
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,977
How you feeling?
317
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,211
Eh.
318
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,715
But I am really excited
to meet our son.
319
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,718
Me, too. I thought
I'd be super freaked out.
320
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,821
But I'm ready for this.
321
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,056
Well, not the part
where you're in labor
322
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:22,226
and you squeeze my fingers
till they turn blue. (chuckles)
323
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,895
I'm sorry.
324
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:27,465
That must be
really painful for you.
325
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,634
It is.
326
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,035
I mean, last time, I...
327
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:31,936
Okay,
328
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,705
I see what you're doing.
329
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,041
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
(groans, hisses)
330
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,576
It's a big one.
331
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,711
Just breathe.
(moans, hisses)
332
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,614
(panting)
Okay.
333
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:46,784
Okay, I'm good.
334
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,054
I'm sorry I tried
to sneak the name past you.
335
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,289
That's okay.
336
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:55,159
I'm sorry I used up
so many good names in college.
337
00:14:56,495 --> 00:15:00,231
I was really competitive
with my roommate.
338
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,901
Forget about it.
(chuckles)
339
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:06,170
Please.
340
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:08,907
You know what,
341
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,075
maybe we're putting
too much pressure on this.
342
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,310
It doesn't matter
what we name him.
343
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,011
He's gonna be amazing.
344
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,446
You're right.
345
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,716
This kid is part
you and part me.
346
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,687
Yeah. He's gonna be smart
and kind and funny.
347
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,856
If he cracks five-foot-six,
it'll be a miracle.
348
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,427
I've always liked
the name Elliott.
349
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,096
Sorry, can't have it.
That's my boy name.
350
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,364
I said it first.
351
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,366
It's not like calling dibs.
352
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,234
Yes, it is.
It's exactly like that.
353
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,236
Dibs on Elliott.
354
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,973
I-I'm just saying,
we might get there first.
355
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,341
You only have sex
once a year.
356
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,909
I'll probably
have sex tonight.
357
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:50,114
Fine, you can have Elliott.
358
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,917
When did you pick out
our kids' names?
359
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,086
Remember that day
you moved into the building?
360
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,555
(chuckles)
Yes.
361
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,693
A non-creepy amount of time
after that.
362
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,528
Yeah, I like the name Elliott.
363
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,364
That wasn't on my
list, but I like it.
364
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,367
We've heard your names.
They're ridiculous.
365
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,236
And I have a cousin named Dilip.
366
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:15,139
Well, I wasn't going to give
them any of the good names.
367
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:16,774
I'm saving those for us.
368
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,877
Really? You've thought
about our kids?
369
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:23,581
Of course. I think you and I
will have exceptional children.
370
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,116
Aw.
371
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,318
Well, I think so, too.
372
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,153
How many kids do you guys want?
373
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,489
Two.
15.
374
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,625
What?
(stammers)
Don't worry.
375
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,627
I don't expect you
to bear them all.
376
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,964
I'm sure we can find a
suitable uterus to rent.
377
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,101
No!
Uh-uh!
378
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,203
We weren't thinking
about you.
379
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,471
Of course not.
(grunts)
380
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,006
I am going to
the kitchen.
381
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,207
Can I get anybody anything?
382
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,776
Penny, nice glass of milk
383
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,911
and a multivitamin?
384
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,723
SHELDON:
Guys.
385
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,258
Guys, wake up.
386
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,225
Terrible news.
387
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:09,393
Oh, my God.
What, what, what?
388
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,394
Is it the baby?
389
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,796
No. No, no, we miscalculated
390
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,531
our unassigned
armor class units.
391
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,233
We need to start over.
392
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:16,801
What?
393
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,202
Oh, no, no, no,
not from the beginning.
394
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,770
Just from when the tanks
started moving.
395
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,473
(sighs)
That was five hours ago.
396
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:25,076
Mm, no.
No, that was two hours ago.
397
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:27,778
It only feels like five.
398
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:28,913
What time is it?
399
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,314
It's almost 2:30.
400
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,916
Don't you think
we should've heard something?
401
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,350
I'm sure they're fine.
402
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,086
I'm calling them.
(clears throat)
403
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,855
(line ringing)
404
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,856
Hey!
(chuckles)
405
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,790
Hey, everything okay?
406
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:43,227
Yeah! The baby was born
about an hour ago.
407
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,030
(gasps)
Dude, why didn't
you call me?!
408
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,933
(chuckles) The only way I would
see my son for the first time
409
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,202
and immediately think
"I need to call Raj"
410
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,638
is if he came out brown.
411
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:57,408
You know, it can take some time
for pigment to form.
412
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:58,909
You're still not
out of the woods.
413
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:02,213
Congratulations!
Yeah. Hey,
what'd you name him?
414
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,848
Neil Michael.
415
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,850
Neil for Armstrong,
416
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:06,951
Gaiman, and Diamond.
417
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:10,921
Michael because Bernie
had to get six stitches.
418
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,023
Neil-- that's cute.
419
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:14,692
BERNADETTE:
But we're calling him Michael!
420
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,594
(sighs)
I'm not gonna fight her.
421
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,697
That kid's head was the size
of a cantaloupe.