1
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,337
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how big Halley's getting.
2
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:06,505
Yeah-- where's Howard?
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,639
He's changing Michael.
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,374
A-All done. You know, fun fact,
5
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,711
did you know baby boys
can pee straight up?
6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,381
Grown-up boys, too.
7
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,851
Why would we high-five that?
8
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,253
So how are you guys?
9
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,521
BERNADETTE:
Really good.
10
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,456
Except for when we went
grocery shopping,
11
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,825
and the checkout lady asked
when I was due.
12
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,093
But you handled it well.
13
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:31,096
(mouthing)
14
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:33,765
Well, if you guys need help,
I'd be happy to come over.
15
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,368
Oh, thanks, but we're really
trying to enjoy this family time
16
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,236
before we both go back to work.
17
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:39,838
Okay, well, we all miss you.
18
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,540
You guys, too.
Bye.
19
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,208
(Skype call ends)
Ah.
20
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,010
Boy, seeing them
all together like that
21
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,614
has got my biological clock
ticking like crazy.
22
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,683
Yeah, I don't think men have...
23
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,984
I do.
24
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,186
(mouths)
25
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,754
Hi.
SHELDON:
Hello.
26
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:56,688
Hey, guys.
Hey.
27
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,757
Good news, we have
save the date cards.
28
00:00:58,792 --> 00:00:59,858
Oh.
29
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,795
Huh, didn't go with
my calligrapher. Interesting.
30
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,764
What is this picture?
31
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,066
Oh, it's an MRI
of our brains photoshopped
32
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,501
to look like they're kissing.
33
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,337
Is it too sexy?
34
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,506
It's too something.
35
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,909
Guys, May 12, that's exciting.
36
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:19,578
I know.
Do you guys have
37
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,379
a location yet? 'Cause you
don't have a lot of time.
38
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,781
Hey, it took us nine
months to pick a date,
39
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,016
and a week to decide if
brains can have lips on them,
40
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:27,986
so get in the boat and row.
41
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,490
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
42
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:35,127
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
43
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,462
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
44
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:39,231
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
45
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,833
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
46
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:44,569
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
47
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,505
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
48
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,373
♪ Bang! ♪
49
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,147
(whispering):
Michael's out.
50
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,015
So is Halley.
51
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,084
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
52
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,886
So is she.
53
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,254
Switch?
54
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,423
Yeah.
55
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:09,094
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
56
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,462
So is she.
57
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,898
I just love them so much.
58
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,699
Me, too.
59
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,135
My heart feels
like it's gonna explode.
60
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:21,473
Of course, it's full of brisket,
so it probably will.
61
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:24,342
Oh, I didn't even
know I was capable
62
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,344
of loving someone so much.
63
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,480
More than me?
64
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,548
Wha-- oh, uh...
65
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,583
I'm just messing with you.
66
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,985
I totally love them
more than you.
67
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,520
I get that.
68
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,155
I would take a bullet for them.
69
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:41,860
But I would get seriously
mutilated for you.
70
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,161
That's sweet.
71
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,363
But you should know,
if you got seriously mutilated,
72
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:48,166
I might dump you.
73
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:49,568
You'd be crazy not to.
74
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,737
Even unmutilated,
I'm no prize.
75
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,042
You know, I'm really happy
with our wedding date.
76
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,779
The month squared equals the
square of the sum of the members
77
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,981
of the set of prime factors
of the day.
78
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,650
Isn't that romantic?
79
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,519
Yes, it's like
that Shakespeare sonnet,
80
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,020
"Shall I compare thee to a day
81
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,590
that's also a really weird
math problem."
82
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,125
It's a shame you're joking.
83
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,828
That'd be a lovely reading
at our ceremony.
84
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,164
Well, we only have
two months to find a venue,
85
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,599
and I had a thought.
86
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,968
What about the Athenaeum club
at Caltech?
87
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,137
(gasps) Albert Einstein
was a member there.
88
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:27,071
It's beautiful.
Yeah,
89
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,841
and Albert Einstein
was a member there.
90
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,842
It's close.
91
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,311
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
92
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,747
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
93
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,082
Ah.
94
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,418
Now you sound like a woman
who wants to get married.
95
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,153
So you're interested?
96
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:43,121
Oh, of course.
97
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,090
Yeah, but that club
is extremely exclusive.
98
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,292
You know, Leonard's been trying
to get us in there for years,
99
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,426
but no luck.
100
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:49,828
Well, that's odd.
101
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,963
When I called, they said they'd
be excited to give us a tour.
102
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,231
Well, I suppose
we can give it a look,
103
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,233
and if it doesn't work out,
I hear that there is
104
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:59,738
a nearby Chinese restaurant
that Einstein used to frequent.
105
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:03,341
Or, we pick a place we like,
106
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,543
and don't worry about Einstein.
107
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,780
Boy, reality TV is right;
brides are crazy.
108
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,653
So, how has it been,
being home with two kids?
109
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,656
Oh, tiring, but super rewarding.
110
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:20,859
Oh, like Pilates, yeah, got it.
111
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:24,696
Honestly, it's gonna be hard
when we both go back to work.
112
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,731
I've been thinking
maybe it would be better
113
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,035
if one of us decided
to stay home.
114
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:34,640
I don't know, I was raised
by servants, and look at me.
115
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,142
I literally can't tell
116
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,777
if you think that's good or bad.
117
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,313
Well, on one hand, they filled
my tub with scented oils
118
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,315
and brought me honeyed sweets;
on the other hand,
119
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,784
I spent my twenties incapable
of talking to women.
120
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:50,122
So you know, pros and cons.
121
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,724
Here's my dilemma:
122
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,759
I... (sighs)
kind of want to stay home.
123
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,896
But Bernadette is a way better
parent than I am.
124
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,631
Wait, does Bernadette want
to stay home?
125
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,666
I don't know. She's really
invested in her career,
126
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,468
and she's doing great.
127
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,337
I think it should be me.
128
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,439
Wow, I admire you, Howard.
129
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,707
I-It would be hard for me
130
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:13,244
to buck traditional gender roles
like that.
131
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,215
Didn't you see Taylor Swift
twice this month?
132
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:22,954
Yeah, because she's hot,
not because she sings my truth.
133
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:28,927
Did Albert Einstein ever sit
in any of these chairs?
134
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,595
I think these are fairly new.
135
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,597
But Stephen Hawking's
eaten here a lot.
136
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,500
Yeah, but he brings
his own chair, you know?
137
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,970
Well, it seems kind of perfect,
138
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,538
and it's close enough
to your office,
139
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,107
so you can use the
bathroom you like.
140
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,843
Mm. I put a sticker
over the auto-flush,
141
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,245
so it doesn't startle me.
142
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,949
Here's my card.
Why don't you two talk it over,
143
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,284
and I will check to see
if our soup spoons
144
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:56,855
are "deeper than they are wide."
145
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,826
What? Too deep
is a ladle, not a spoon.
146
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,062
I really like it.
147
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,264
Mm. Oh, I must admit,
I do, as well.
148
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,801
I-- look at how somber all
the men in these portraits are.
149
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,903
I feel like that sets
a good tone for our wedding.
150
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,873
Is that Leonard?
151
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,276
Oh, no, no, these are all dead,
accomplished scientists.
152
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,713
Leonard will only ever be
one of those things.
153
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:26,384
I mean, Leonard and Penny
are right there.
154
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:29,120
But he told me he checked on
our membership just last week,
155
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,090
and we were
still 400th in line.
156
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,492
I'm sure there's
an innocent explanation
157
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,661
that won't ruin my day at all.
158
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,596
Leonard.
159
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,664
Oh, hey.
Hey.
160
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:40,732
How did you get in here?
161
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,668
What do you mean?
Leonard's a member.
162
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,504
You told me
it was incredibly exclusive.
163
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:51,409
Y-Yeah, look, about that,
I lied.
164
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,411
Hey, wait, you told me
it was exclusive, too.
Mm-hmm.
165
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:57,816
I avoided him and impressed you,
all with the same lie.
166
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:01,119
Damn, Hofstadter, didn't
think you had it in you.
167
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,822
Well, I'm not sure I know
how I feel about this place now.
168
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,457
Then don't turn around.
169
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,592
Cooper!
170
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,431
Oh, good, you're here.
171
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,833
There's...
(clears throat) something
172
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,768
I want to talk to you about.
173
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,536
We're not putting a TV
in the bathroom.
174
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,472
That's how you get hemorrhoids.
175
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:23,274
No, this is important.
176
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,644
Uh, I was thinking
maybe one of us should
177
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,646
stay home full-time,
with the kids.
178
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,648
Oh great,
so I have to give up my job
179
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,784
and everything I've worked for?
180
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,453
Actually, I was thinking
I should stay home.
181
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,889
Oh, so I have to abandon
my children and go back to work,
182
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:40,758
while you get to stay home
and bond with them?
183
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,661
You just said
you didn't want to.
184
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:48,700
No, I don't want to have to, but
if I want to, I should get to.
185
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,503
Do you want to?
186
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,805
Maybe I do.
187
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,807
What if I also want to?
188
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,509
Well, I don't know, we can't
189
00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:58,643
both stay home.
190
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,778
Don't you think
you should go back to work,
191
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,814
because you make more money?
192
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,883
Don't you think
you should make more money?
193
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,919
I think it's pretty sexist
of you to say
194
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,555
a dad can't stay home
with his children.
195
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,224
You know what else is sexist,
the phrase "suck it,"
196
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,026
yet, here we are.
197
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:20,732
I can't believe
Leonard lied to me.
198
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,200
(stammers) What are we gonna
find out next,
199
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,937
that he's not really
lactose intolerant, hmm?
200
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,941
He's just friends with
an invisible trumpet player?
201
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,378
I know you're upset, but if
we want to book the Athenaeum,
202
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,047
we really should do it
now, and then, I promise,
203
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:40,251
we'll have our whole lives
to complain about Leonard.
204
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:45,123
Aw, somebody got a
head start on her vows.
205
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,057
So do we agree?
206
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,725
Do we want to get married there?
207
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,160
I don't know.
208
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,628
I mean, Einstein was a member.
209
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,763
I like that.
210
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,031
You know? But...
211
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:57,735
Leonard's a member,
and that really steams my clams.
212
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:58,870
Oh, I love it
when you're folksy.
213
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,072
I'm just gonna call.
214
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,808
On the other hand, shaming
Leonard during our wedding
215
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,343
at the very place he betrayed me
216
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,514
does have
a beautiful symmetry to it.
217
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,784
That's nice, it'll be your first
petty act as a married man.
218
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,788
Uh-- oh, hi, Kathleen?
219
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,890
Yeah, this is Amy from earlier.
220
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:22,493
I'd like to go ahead
and reserve May 12.
221
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:23,895
Although, it is our wedding.
222
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:27,799
I-- maybe it shouldn't be
all about revenge.
223
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,934
Oh, I see.
224
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,837
Okay, t-thanks.
225
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,908
Someone booked our date.
226
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,242
Uh... What?
227
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,911
Who?
228
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,847
Well, well, well.
229
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,085
This is a pickle.
230
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,586
Yes, so,
231
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:50,922
if you will just move
your birthday party
232
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,992
to a different location,
everything will be fine.
233
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,893
Ugh, i-it's tricky.
234
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,295
I don't want to move my party,
235
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,063
but I also don't want
to help you--
236
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,833
oh, wait,
I don't have a problem.
237
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,236
No. I do.
238
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,138
Yeah, you do.
239
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,811
Morning.
240
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,513
Hey, where you been?
241
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,814
Oh, nowhere special.
242
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,249
Just the park,
the farmer's market,
243
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,951
then we hopped on the Gold Line
to Chinatown
244
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,653
because it's important
for the kids
245
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,588
to experience other cultures.
246
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,523
What have you been doing?
247
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,959
It's 8:00 a.m. Sleeping.
248
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,694
Oh. So are the kids.
249
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,862
I guess they take after you.
250
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:36,534
You're just trying to prove that
you'd do a better job than me.
251
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:40,638
You're pretty sharp
having just woken up.
252
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,841
Howard, we both know
you can't keep up this pace.
253
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:47,145
By this afternoon you're gonna
be passed out on the couch
254
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,814
and I'm gonna have three
exhausted babies to deal with.
255
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,482
Not true. I got this.
256
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:54,252
You know, in fact, why don't you
take the day off?
257
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,754
Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch
with Penny.
258
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,723
Take your time.
259
00:10:58,758 --> 00:10:59,857
Get a massage.
260
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:03,428
You deserve it after all
the sleep you've been getting.
261
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,965
Maybe Barry will
change his mind.
262
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,967
Hmm? Oh, I doubt it.
263
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,703
I said some pretty
unprofessional things
264
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:12,537
about his work.
265
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:16,240
I may have even used
the "S" word.
266
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:19,577
Subpar?
267
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:23,614
I'm not proud of it, Amy,
but I have a temper.
268
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:26,150
Well, I suppose we could pick
a different date.
269
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,286
Well, it took you nine months
to choose that one.
270
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,055
I'll pick a different husband
first.
271
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:33,257
(knocking at door)
272
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:37,028
Hey, I-I just, I wanted to
apologize about the Athenaeum.
273
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,496
Why did you lie to me?
274
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,630
I don't know.
275
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:41,165
It just seemed funny at first
276
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,469
and then the longer it went on,
funnier it got.
277
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,606
So, yeah, I guess that's why.
278
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,442
That's not much of an apology.
279
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,311
Yeah, because he's not
really sorry.
280
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,180
Obviously, he wanted a place
to go where I wouldn't be
281
00:11:56,215 --> 00:12:00,284
and apparently all of outside
wasn't enough for him.
282
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,853
Come on. I-I do feel bad.
283
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,123
Why? Did your best friend
hurt your feelings?
Come on-- Sheldon.
284
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,158
Look, I only have time to deal
with one jerk right now
285
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,293
and that's Barry Kripke.
What?
286
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,662
He has the Athenaeum booked
for our wedding date
287
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:12,896
and he won't give it up.
288
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,466
Yeah, so if you could just
please leave before I get angry
289
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,202
and say something I will regret
about your face, your height,
290
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:21,172
your personal hygiene or
the fact that your science,
291
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:24,375
while serviceable,
lacks panache.
292
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,310
That's actually
one of the nicest things
293
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,513
you've ever said about my work.
294
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,281
And now I regret it.
295
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,616
Good-bye.
296
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,588
Hey. There you are.
297
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,190
Yeah, I just wanted to stop in
and see my office
298
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,491
before we went to lunch.
299
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:42,794
Just a few more weeks,
you'll be back full-time, huh?
300
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,228
Yeah.
301
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,998
Uh-oh. That wasn't
a happy "yeah."
302
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,601
That was a "Hey, Leonard, do you
want to go to the gym?" yeah.
303
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,304
I've just been thinking
that maybe I'd rather
304
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,840
stay home with the kids
and be a mom.
305
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,842
Wow. That's big.
306
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,010
I know.
307
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,179
Dr. Rostenkowski.
308
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,580
I'm sorry, I didn't
know you were back.
309
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,815
Oh, I'm not.
310
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,116
I just came to meet Penny
for lunch.
311
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,485
Is there anything I can get you?
Coffee? Water?
312
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,221
No, I think we're just gonna...
Coffee sounds good.
313
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,256
Cold brew, almond milk?
Perfect.
314
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,827
Nothing-nothing for me.
(clears throat)
315
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,261
It's weird.
316
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,230
I've been away so long
I don't miss any of this.
317
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,232
(intercom buzzes)
318
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:22,667
JESS:
Sorry to bother you.
319
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,002
Dr. Lee heard you were here
and had a quick question.
320
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:27,705
Fine. Put him on.
321
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,340
Jerold, what's going on?
322
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,709
Hope you're not screwing up
my research.
323
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:34,312
You calling from a bike ride?
324
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,314
'Cause you're backpedaling hard.
325
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,416
All right, fine. E-mail it over.
I'll take a look.
326
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,920
(clears throat)
327
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,555
Oh, sorry. Where were we?
328
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,591
Love your kids.
Don't miss your job.
329
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,326
Right, right.
330
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:50,728
There's nothing in the world
331
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,163
like holding your sleeping baby,
332
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,332
knowing you make him
feel safe and then--
333
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,868
Oh, good, you got
the little cookies I like.
334
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,336
I wouldn't mind a cookie.
335
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,371
And he's gone. Okay.
336
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,880
(knock on door)
337
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,181
Hey, Kripke.
338
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,417
Hello, Hofstadter.
339
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,819
Why are you cleaning that out
yourself?
340
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,053
Don't you have grad students?
341
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:20,057
Come on, I can't make my grad
students do every dirty job
342
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:24,328
or so I've been told in writing
by the head of Human Resources.
343
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:28,299
Fair enough.
Uh, so, look,
344
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,868
I'm here to ask you
to give Sheldon and Amy
345
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,803
the Athenaeum for their wedding.
346
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,672
(laughs)
347
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,341
Why would I do that?
348
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:42,446
Because deep down, Barry,
you're a really good guy.
349
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,383
But am I?
350
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:50,255
Fine. What's it gonna take?
351
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,461
Barry, I've come
to ask one more...
352
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,130
Leonard?
353
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,765
Wh-Why are you
doing that?
354
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,802
Because deep down
Barry is not a good guy.
355
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:09,106
He's making you clean out
barrels of irradiated grease?
356
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,909
Yeah.
357
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,644
I made a deal with him
358
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:16,681
to get you the Athenaeum
for your wedding.
359
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,016
Why would you do that?
360
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:23,054
(sighs) Because I was a jerk
for lying to you before
361
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,622
and besides,
you're my best friend.
362
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,624
I want you to have
the wedding of your dreams.
363
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,661
On Mars?
364
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,900
Okay, I want Amy to have
the wedding of her dreams.
365
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,436
Well, thank you.
366
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,071
But I don't want
you to do this.
367
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,072
No, it's okay.
368
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,373
No, it's not.
369
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,542
We're not going
to let Barry win.
370
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,977
Well, what are we going to do?
371
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,946
We have a combined IQ of 360.
372
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:52,583
Perhaps more if that radiation
gave you a super brain.
373
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,152
You know what? You're right.
374
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:58,790
If we work together we could
totally outsmart Barry Kripke.
375
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,867
Leonard, my nose itches.
What do I do?
376
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,405
Oh, boy.
377
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,374
I really
passed out hard.
378
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,575
Yeah, tell me about it.
379
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,310
The kids could've screamed
bloody murder
380
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,512
and you wouldn't have woken up.
381
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,015
Which I know because they did.
382
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,450
I'm sorry.
383
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,519
Why did I think I could
do this on my own?
384
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,988
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
385
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:32,289
Parenting is hard.
386
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,525
Like, I've seen
and smelled things today
387
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,194
that I cannot unsee or unsmell.
388
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:40,297
Thanks for covering for me.
389
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,632
No, I mean he only drinks milk.
390
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,169
Like, where are the colors
coming from?
391
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,939
What time is it?
392
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,075
Uh, it's almost 6:00.
393
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,443
Okay. Bernadette's
gonna be home soon.
394
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:53,711
We got to divide
and conquer.
395
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,413
I'll make dinner.
You watch the kids.
396
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,480
Uh, kids are asleep.
397
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,850
Great, then you
make dinner.
398
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,187
Hey, good news, Amy.
399
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:04,922
We got the Athenaeum.
400
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,090
Oh, my gosh.
401
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,192
That's amazing.
402
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,227
How'd you get Barry
to change his mind?
403
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,029
Well, I couldn't have done it
without Leonard.
404
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,397
Boy, you should've seen us
in there.
405
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,933
We were like
Batman and Robin.
406
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,436
Why do I have to be Robin?
407
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,538
If you have to ask,
you're Robin.
408
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,607
What happened?
409
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,776
Well, we scrubbed out some
barrels of irradiated grease,
410
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,378
rinsed off in
a safety shower
411
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,514
and then told Barry
Kripke what is what.
412
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,216
And he just gave in?
413
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,251
Well, we agreed to invite him
to the wedding.
414
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:36,353
Okay. No problem.
415
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,822
And he gets to
bring a date.
Yeah.
416
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:38,923
Well, that's reasonable.
417
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:42,794
A-And if she charges by
the hour, we have to cover it.
418
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,564
What else did you agree to?
419
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:51,402
Well, um, you know how Barry
has the voice of an angel?
420
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:55,306
He is not singing
at our wedding.
421
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,775
(stammers) He only
wants to sing "Volare."
422
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,977
Oh, "Volare."
423
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,481
That's what he was saying.
424
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,816
Boy, I didn't, I
did not get that.
425
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,886
Guys, I appreciate
everything you did,
426
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,555
but we can find another location
that's just as good.
427
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,458
Maybe the Japanese garden
or the planetarium.
428
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,594
(gasps) The planetarium.
429
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,162
I hadn't thought about that.
430
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:19,463
That's even better.
431
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,698
LEONARD:
Wait, what?
432
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,633
I scrubbed sludge for you.
433
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:26,403
(stammers) I may be
slightly radioactive.
434
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,305
Oh, you're exaggerating.
435
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,807
Don't let him touch
the silverware.
436
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,449
Why is Raj asleep
on our couch?
437
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,684
Oh. I needed some help
so he came by,
438
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,319
played with the kids,
read them some stories,
439
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,222
put them down for their nap
and made dinner.
440
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,057
What'd you do?
441
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,360
Ate dinner.
442
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:52,563
Okay, look, I don't
think I'm cut out
443
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,831
to be a stay-at-home dad.
444
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,301
And since you want to,
you should stay home.
445
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,336
I-I do definitely want to,
446
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:02,573
but I know how much this means
to you and it was just one day.
447
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,342
So, don't give up.
448
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:08,012
You don't want to
stay home, either.
449
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,547
Do you?
450
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:10,881
When I went by the office
they gave me
451
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,384
coffee and cookies
and no one peed on me.
452
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,621
I miss that so much.
453
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:22,493
Well, I love the kids,
but I also love my job.
454
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,862
(laughing):
And sleep.
455
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,898
I know. I took a two-hour nap
on the couch in my office.
456
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:31,101
I took a three-hour nap on
the floor in the living room.
457
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:33,070
How do you feel now?
458
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,373
Honestly? Still tired.
459
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,142
Me, too.
460
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,843
I love you.
461
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,178
I love you, too.
462
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:42,746
And we'll figure this all out.
463
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:46,050
Yeah.
464
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,618
Everyone's asleep.
465
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:51,288
You want to head
upstairs and... (giggles)
466
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,157
...you know.
467
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,293
Let's just do it right here.
468
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,429
Oh, oh, I like
the way you think.