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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,050 --> 00:00:05,984
Can you believe our little lamb
is finally getting married?
3
00:00:05,985 --> 00:00:08,786
He can't believe it.
4
00:00:08,855 --> 00:00:10,988
And neither can I.
5
00:00:11,057 --> 00:00:13,157
Hi, Dad. How you doing?
6
00:00:16,796 --> 00:00:19,497
Then by
the power vested in me...
7
00:00:19,566 --> 00:00:21,766
by
EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com...
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00:00:23,837 --> 00:00:26,103
...I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
9
00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:29,106
You may kiss the bride.
10
00:00:36,783 --> 00:00:39,116
Good morning, wife.
11
00:00:40,787 --> 00:00:43,354
Good morning, husband.
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00:00:43,423 --> 00:00:45,990
I can't believe
we're actually married.
13
00:00:46,059 --> 00:00:47,992
It's official.
According to tradition,
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we should hang
the bedsheets outside
15
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:52,930
so the villagers can see
that we consummated.
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00:00:52,999 --> 00:00:54,665
I don't think that
that's appropriate,
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00:00:54,734 --> 00:00:57,068
considering where we're
starting our honeymoon.
18
00:00:57,136 --> 00:00:59,070
Well, I suppose you're right.
19
00:01:01,674 --> 00:01:03,541
Although,
when you think about it,
20
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:06,577
Lego is the perfect metaphor
for marital congress.
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00:01:06,646 --> 00:01:10,848
Two pieces that interlock
with a satisfying snap.
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Oh, that's the sound
you were making.
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00:01:15,288 --> 00:01:16,487
Oh, I almost forgot.
24
00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:19,624
While you were sleeping,
I ordered room service.
25
00:01:19,692 --> 00:01:21,359
Really?
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00:01:21,427 --> 00:01:23,060
Voilà!
27
00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:26,666
You thought it was going
to be food, didn't you?
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00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,433
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x01 ♪
The Conjugal Configuration
Original Air D
29
00:01:28,434 --> 00:01:31,969
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
30
00:01:32,038 --> 00:01:35,273
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
31
00:01:35,341 --> 00:01:36,941
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
32
00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:39,644
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
33
00:01:39,712 --> 00:01:42,146
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
34
00:01:42,215 --> 00:01:44,849
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
35
00:01:44,918 --> 00:01:46,751
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
36
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♪ Bang! ♪
37
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
38
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Is it nice having Sheldon and
Amy away on their honeymoon?
39
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:58,329
Yeah, because now Leonard and
I get all this alone time.
40
00:01:58,398 --> 00:01:59,931
But you're not alone.
We're here.
41
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,133
Yes.
Yes, you are.
42
00:02:02,202 --> 00:02:05,837
Would you like us to leave so
you and Leonard can talk about
43
00:02:05,906 --> 00:02:07,539
all the things
you have in common?
44
00:02:07,607 --> 00:02:11,409
Ha, ha, she
called your bluff.
45
00:02:11,478 --> 00:02:13,222
So, something
pretty cool happened.
46
00:02:13,246 --> 00:02:15,380
Channel 3 asked me to be
on the news tomorrow night
47
00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:16,815
to talk about
the meteor shower.
48
00:02:16,883 --> 00:02:18,528
- Oh, that's great. - Hey!
- Congratulations.
49
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,663
You know, that's how Neil
deGrasse Tyson got his start.
50
00:02:20,687 --> 00:02:22,220
He went from the
Hayden Planetarium
51
00:02:22,289 --> 00:02:23,988
to guesting on
the local news
52
00:02:24,057 --> 00:02:27,192
to ruining everyone's
favorite movies on the Internet.
53
00:02:27,260 --> 00:02:28,738
Now it's happening to me.
54
00:02:28,762 --> 00:02:30,228
Ooh, I should probably
make a list
55
00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:34,699
of all the scientific
inaccuracies in Mamma Mia 2.
56
00:02:34,768 --> 00:02:37,702
You're gonna go on live TV and
admit you've seen that movie?
57
00:02:37,771 --> 00:02:39,737
Hey, your husband's
the one who took me.
58
00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:44,042
Meryl Streep and Cher?
Yeah, I saw it.
59
00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:49,614
Sounds like
someone's in there.
60
00:02:49,683 --> 00:02:52,617
My God, what if Sheldon
and Amy are getting robbed?
61
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:56,387
Or worse, what if
they're back early?
62
00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:57,989
They're not; they
just posted a picture
63
00:02:58,058 --> 00:02:59,457
in front of the
Statue of Liberty.
64
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,893
- Real or Lego?
-Lego.
65
00:03:01,962 --> 00:03:04,195
So, what should we do?
Should someone go check it out?
66
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:06,631
I would, but I got to
be on TV tomorrow.
67
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,733
Got to protect the money.
68
00:03:11,204 --> 00:03:13,104
Oh, yeah, someone's
definitely in there.
69
00:03:13,173 --> 00:03:14,572
Okay, let's go into
our apartment.
70
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:16,341
We'll lock the door,
we'll call the pol...
71
00:03:16,409 --> 00:03:18,309
Hello?! Anyone in there?!
72
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,380
- Yes?
- Oh, uh, Mr. Fowler.
73
00:03:22,449 --> 00:03:23,849
Sorry, we didn't
know you were here.
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00:03:23,884 --> 00:03:26,284
We-we actually thought someone
was breaking in.
75
00:03:26,353 --> 00:03:28,253
And we were ready
to take them down.
76
00:03:29,723 --> 00:03:31,756
Amy asked me
to water her plants.
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00:03:31,825 --> 00:03:33,157
She doesn't have
any plants.
78
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,893
Oh.
79
00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:37,161
Well, you caught me
in a lie.
80
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:39,163
Have a good day.
81
00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:47,272
That was weird, right?
82
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,974
Was it?
I-I honestly can't tell anymore.
83
00:03:50,043 --> 00:03:52,343
Hey, did you even see
Mamma Mia 1?
84
00:03:52,412 --> 00:03:54,345
Didn't need to.
The sequel stands on its own.
85
00:04:08,261 --> 00:04:10,295
Here you go.
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00:04:10,363 --> 00:04:13,097
If you need any recommendations
while visiting New York,
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00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,500
please don't hesitate
to contact me.
88
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:17,535
Well, it is our honeymoon.
89
00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,203
So we are going
to be quite busy.
90
00:04:19,272 --> 00:04:20,705
Got it.
91
00:04:20,774 --> 00:04:23,141
Harry Potter play,
parts one and two.
92
00:04:24,244 --> 00:04:25,910
And tomorrow,
a tour of the sites
93
00:04:25,979 --> 00:04:29,113
where Nikola Tesla lived,
worked and slowly went crazy.
94
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,450
And, of course, coitus.
95
00:04:33,853 --> 00:04:36,387
Ah.
96
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:39,290
Well, enjoy New York.
And, I guess, coitus.
97
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,663
Really, Sheldon?
98
00:04:45,732 --> 00:04:48,199
You want to do it again?
99
00:04:48,268 --> 00:04:50,001
Don't act surprised.
100
00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,903
It's clearly marked
on the schedule.
101
00:04:51,972 --> 00:04:53,438
Now,
102
00:04:53,506 --> 00:04:56,407
shall we steam the wrinkles
out of our wizard robes,
103
00:04:56,476 --> 00:04:59,644
or make vigorous,
socially sanctioned love?
104
00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:02,513
Either way, I can check
something off my to-do list.
105
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:05,516
Socially sanc-- Oh, wow.
Yeah, there it is right there.
106
00:05:08,955 --> 00:05:10,888
Uh, hurry.
Raj is on next.
107
00:05:10,957 --> 00:05:13,424
All right. I can't believe
they canceled Vampire Diaries
108
00:05:13,493 --> 00:05:14,759
but they'll show this.
109
00:05:17,063 --> 00:05:19,530
This is the news.
110
00:05:19,599 --> 00:05:22,934
And that was a woman torn
between two hunky vampires.
111
00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,602
What is your point?
112
00:05:26,006 --> 00:05:30,141
Larry? I know you're in there!
113
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:31,309
Is that Amy's mom?
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00:05:31,378 --> 00:05:32,810
Let me in.
115
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:34,946
Let me in!
116
00:05:37,017 --> 00:05:39,650
Either that or the Big Bad Wolf.
117
00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:43,554
Larry?
118
00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:45,923
Mrs. Fowler,
are you okay?
119
00:05:45,992 --> 00:05:48,993
Oh, I'm okay. It's my husband
you should worry about.
120
00:05:49,062 --> 00:05:50,328
Oh, we do.
121
00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:53,264
Larry, come on.
122
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,400
I don't think he's in there.
123
00:05:58,071 --> 00:06:00,772
I mean, he came by to water
the imaginary plants,
124
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,407
but then he left.
125
00:06:02,475 --> 00:06:04,242
You are so naive.
126
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,978
Blondie here is gonna
chew you up and spit you out.
127
00:06:07,047 --> 00:06:10,148
Well, don't tell him.
128
00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:14,552
Come on, you have an extra key.
Open it up.
129
00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:17,055
All right,
but I'm telling you
130
00:06:17,123 --> 00:06:19,757
he's not in there.
131
00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:23,294
There. See?
132
00:06:23,363 --> 00:06:24,962
Oh, he's in here.
133
00:06:25,031 --> 00:06:28,499
I can smell his Axe body spray.
134
00:06:28,568 --> 00:06:30,301
He wears Axe body spray.
135
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:32,570
You happy? You smell
like Amy's dad.
136
00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:37,341
- Larry?
- Ooh, come on.
137
00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:39,744
Ah, shouldn't we mind
our own business?
138
00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:42,647
Wow, sometimes it's like
you don't know me at all.
139
00:06:45,051 --> 00:06:47,418
See, he's not here.
140
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:49,854
You don't know him
like I do.
141
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:52,090
To be fair, we don't
know either of you.
142
00:06:55,028 --> 00:06:56,461
Satisfied?
143
00:07:02,635 --> 00:07:04,569
Oh, yeah, now I smell him.
144
00:07:07,674 --> 00:07:12,176
Man, that is one
hot weather girl.
145
00:07:12,245 --> 00:07:14,979
How come if I say that
I get in trouble?
146
00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:17,615
You want to say it?
You can say it.
147
00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:25,790
Nice try.
148
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:28,059
You're gonna have to find
some other way
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00:07:28,128 --> 00:07:30,595
to not have sex
with me tonight.
150
00:07:30,663 --> 00:07:33,030
And it's not weather girl,
it's weather woman.
151
00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:36,367
And with us today
to talk about
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00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:38,614
the upcoming meteor shower and
the best places to view it,
153
00:07:38,638 --> 00:07:43,341
Caltech astrophysicist
Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
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00:07:43,409 --> 00:07:46,144
- Thank you for being here.
- Thank you for having me.
155
00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:48,479
I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson
was unavailable.
156
00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:51,182
Yeah.
157
00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:54,986
What do you mean, "yeah"?
158
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Not important.
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00:07:56,656 --> 00:07:58,756
So, what can we expect
to see from
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this meteor shower?
161
00:08:00,527 --> 00:08:03,027
Well, I think you can count
on a lot of flaming gas,
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00:08:03,096 --> 00:08:04,529
which is what
you would have gotten
163
00:08:04,597 --> 00:08:07,665
from your first choice,
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
164
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,935
Pull up, Raj, pull up!
165
00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:14,872
Sounds like there's no love lost
between you and Dr. Tyson.
166
00:08:14,941 --> 00:08:16,841
Oh, no, I love Neil.
167
00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,744
I mean, not as much as Neil
loves Neil, but who does, right?
168
00:08:21,281 --> 00:08:25,383
I want to look away,
but I can't.
169
00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:28,386
Oh, you know, I'm told we
are out of time,
170
00:08:28,454 --> 00:08:31,422
having learned nothing
about meteor showers
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00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:34,659
and too much about
Dr. Koothrappali.
172
00:08:34,727 --> 00:08:37,228
Thank you.
173
00:08:42,101 --> 00:08:44,769
Do you know what I love
about Broadway theater?
174
00:08:44,837 --> 00:08:46,704
It's so interactive.
175
00:08:46,773 --> 00:08:48,573
Uh-huh.
176
00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:51,409
You're so close to the actors.
It's like you're in the play.
177
00:08:51,477 --> 00:08:53,077
Uh-huh.
178
00:08:53,146 --> 00:08:54,557
I mean, you yell,
"Harry, watch out,"
179
00:08:54,581 --> 00:08:56,314
he looks right at you.
180
00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:59,383
And not just Harry,
everyone onstage.
181
00:08:59,452 --> 00:09:03,187
At the risk of sounding
redundant, uh-huh.
182
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:05,156
All right, well,
it's a bit late,
183
00:09:05,225 --> 00:09:07,024
but I did block out
the rest of the evening
184
00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:08,159
for conjugal relations.
185
00:09:08,228 --> 00:09:09,994
Should we shower?
186
00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:11,529
I mean before, not during.
187
00:09:11,598 --> 00:09:13,998
That's how you fall
and break a hip.
188
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,277
You know,
I'm a little jet-laggy.
189
00:09:15,301 --> 00:09:17,235
Maybe we can revisit this
in the morning.
190
00:09:17,303 --> 00:09:19,403
Oh, no can do.
If we miss tonight,
191
00:09:19,472 --> 00:09:21,439
it's not scheduled
until Thursday at 6:00.
192
00:09:21,507 --> 00:09:23,341
And that'll have
to be "no frills,"
193
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:26,010
'cause we've got a 6:30
reservation at Benihana.
194
00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:29,380
Sheldon, do we really
have to do this on a schedule?
195
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:32,316
Are you suggesting spontaneity?
196
00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:34,619
I-I guess, yeah.
197
00:09:34,687 --> 00:09:38,055
So, now that we're married,
sex can occur at any time?
198
00:09:38,124 --> 00:09:39,857
Like, we can be
brushing our teeth,
199
00:09:39,926 --> 00:09:41,993
and suddenly your minty-fresh
tongue is in my mouth?
200
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:43,294
No, thank you.
201
00:09:43,363 --> 00:09:46,330
Really? Would it be so bad
to mix it up a little?
202
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:48,666
Mix it up?
Who are you, Betty Crocker?
203
00:09:48,735 --> 00:09:50,901
Where are you going?
204
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:52,436
Uh, to take a shower.
205
00:09:52,505 --> 00:09:54,338
Now that sex can happen
at any time,
206
00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:56,474
I always have to be ready.
207
00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:59,010
Should probably live
under a waterfall.
208
00:09:59,078 --> 00:10:01,090
Well, you don't have to worry
about sex happening tonight.
209
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:04,215
Oh. Well, thanks,
but I'm still gonna rinse off.
210
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:06,651
I touched a lot of stuff
in the gift shop.
211
00:10:09,589 --> 00:10:13,257
No message, no note.
Who would do that?
212
00:10:13,326 --> 00:10:14,525
What kind of
husband would...
213
00:10:14,594 --> 00:10:16,527
If you let him talk,
maybe you'll find out.
214
00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:19,530
Fine. Larry?
215
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:25,870
Well, there you go.
What more can he say?
216
00:10:25,938 --> 00:10:27,038
Let's go home.
217
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:30,074
I think I'll stay.
218
00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:33,778
Well, if you're going to stay,
then I'll stay.
219
00:10:33,846 --> 00:10:36,080
All right, well, you know
who doesn't need to stay?
220
00:10:36,149 --> 00:10:37,248
Us. Come on.
221
00:10:40,787 --> 00:10:42,720
Penny, come on.
222
00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:43,821
Aw.
223
00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:51,696
I don't think those two
are gonna make it.
224
00:10:55,944 --> 00:10:59,479
Poor Mr. Fowler, I really feel
sorry for the little guy.
225
00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:01,347
I know. After they had Amy,
226
00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:04,550
she should've just eaten him
and been done with it.
227
00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:08,721
Look at you retaining facts
from a nature show.
228
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:11,758
I know, really,
what did he ever see in her?
229
00:11:11,826 --> 00:11:14,294
He's so, so sweet, and
she's such a ballbuster.
230
00:11:14,362 --> 00:11:16,929
Some guys think
strong women are sexy.
231
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,776
Yeah, but they seem to have
nothing in common.
232
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:23,036
Yeah, well, sometimes
opposites attract.
233
00:11:23,104 --> 00:11:27,040
Wait, are-are you saying
we are like them?
234
00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:29,809
I don't know, maybe a little.
235
00:11:29,878 --> 00:11:34,614
So you're the sweet, quiet one
and I'm Amy's mom?
236
00:11:34,683 --> 00:11:36,949
Is that what you're saying?
237
00:11:46,061 --> 00:11:49,262
Hey, check out what Neil
deGrasse Tyson just tweeted.
238
00:11:49,331 --> 00:11:50,963
"I've been informed
that some random,
239
00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:52,298
attention-seeking nobody
240
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:55,101
took a cheap shot at me
on the local news."
241
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:58,871
That's me.
Guys, he's talking about me!
242
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:00,740
You know, I cut you
a lot of slack
243
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:02,219
'cause you come
from another country,
244
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,944
but you've been here
a long time.
245
00:12:06,081 --> 00:12:08,514
Raj, you need to apologize
to Dr. Tyson.
246
00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:10,750
Why? This could be good for me.
247
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:13,119
Everybody loves
a good Twitter feud.
248
00:12:13,188 --> 00:12:14,387
Neil and I
could be like
249
00:12:14,456 --> 00:12:17,256
the new, uh, Katy Perry
and Taylor Swift.
250
00:12:17,325 --> 00:12:18,925
Come on, Raj,
you're better than this.
251
00:12:18,993 --> 00:12:20,493
Oh, leave room for dessert
252
00:12:20,562 --> 00:12:22,462
'cause I'm gonna
make you eat those words.
253
00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:25,798
"Dear Dr. Tyson,
254
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:28,434
"much like epithelial tissue,
255
00:12:28,503 --> 00:12:31,003
it appears I've gotten
under your skin."
256
00:12:31,072 --> 00:12:33,473
iPhone drop,
257
00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:36,309
but I won't
'cause I don't have AppleCare.
258
00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:39,812
What'd he say?
259
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:44,250
"Nice try, genius.
The skin is epithelial tissue."
260
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,053
Oh, it's on.
261
00:12:47,122 --> 00:12:51,124
He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.
262
00:12:54,662 --> 00:12:58,464
What are you gonna do?
He's from another country.
263
00:13:01,369 --> 00:13:04,070
And here we have
the former hotel where Tesla
264
00:13:04,139 --> 00:13:06,906
perfected the three-phase
alternating current motor.
265
00:13:06,975 --> 00:13:08,775
That's wrong.
I'm gonna say something.
266
00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:10,176
Don't.
267
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:13,846
Well, then how will everyone
know I'm the smartest boy here?
268
00:13:13,915 --> 00:13:15,648
Just let it go.
269
00:13:15,717 --> 00:13:17,350
Is everything all right?
270
00:13:17,419 --> 00:13:19,085
You seem testy
this morning.
271
00:13:19,154 --> 00:13:20,353
I'm not testy.
272
00:13:20,422 --> 00:13:21,821
I'll have to take
your word for it.
273
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:24,590
There's no test for testy.
274
00:13:24,659 --> 00:13:27,693
Is it possible that
you're sexually frustrated?
275
00:13:27,762 --> 00:13:29,662
Okay, now I'm testy.
276
00:13:29,731 --> 00:13:32,064
If you had adhered
to my coital schedule,
277
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,834
your brain would be floating
on a sea of oxytocin right now.
278
00:13:34,903 --> 00:13:37,870
Don't talk to me about my brain.
I'm a neurobiologist.
279
00:13:37,939 --> 00:13:40,540
Then you should know
the benefits of the special hug
280
00:13:40,608 --> 00:13:42,442
that grown-ups
give each other.
281
00:13:44,279 --> 00:13:46,179
Sheldon, everybody's
listening.
282
00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:48,414
Of course they're listening;
we're interesting.
283
00:13:48,483 --> 00:13:49,582
Unlike that guy.
284
00:13:51,453 --> 00:13:53,085
I-I'm walking
away from you.
285
00:13:58,426 --> 00:14:00,326
I'm only
recently married.
286
00:14:00,395 --> 00:14:03,129
Do I stay here? Do I follow?
Say something useful.
287
00:14:11,773 --> 00:14:13,506
Morning, sunshine.
288
00:14:16,077 --> 00:14:18,711
So I see you're making espresso.
289
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:19,712
Yup.
290
00:14:19,781 --> 00:14:21,547
Just need that extra jolt
291
00:14:21,616 --> 00:14:25,184
for a successful day
of ballbusting.
292
00:14:25,253 --> 00:14:28,354
Really? I don't,
I don't think you do.
293
00:14:28,423 --> 00:14:31,757
You know, you compared us to
the strangest couple we know,
294
00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:33,392
and we know
Amy and Sheldon,
295
00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:37,063
Howard and Bernadette,
Raj and his twitchy little dog.
296
00:14:37,131 --> 00:14:39,532
I-I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
297
00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:41,534
Because it wasn't nice
or because it wasn't true?
298
00:14:41,603 --> 00:14:43,503
It's not true.
299
00:14:43,571 --> 00:14:46,539
Mrs. Fowler is an angry,
vindictive woman,
300
00:14:46,608 --> 00:14:49,542
whereas you are warm
and-and loving,
301
00:14:49,611 --> 00:14:51,043
quick to forgive.
302
00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:52,879
Oh, please.
303
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:56,048
I-I'm serious.
And I'm nothing like Amy's dad.
304
00:14:56,117 --> 00:14:58,684
He's a mousy little man
who can't stand up for himself.
305
00:15:01,289 --> 00:15:05,024
My point is you're not like her,
so we're not like them.
306
00:15:05,093 --> 00:15:08,094
Well, 30 years from now,
are you gonna hide from me
307
00:15:08,162 --> 00:15:09,762
because I'm so scary?
308
00:15:09,831 --> 00:15:13,065
Hey, I-I don't think
you're scary.
309
00:15:13,134 --> 00:15:16,202
Yes, I flinch when
you make sudden moves, but...
310
00:15:17,539 --> 00:15:20,306
...that says more about
my childhood than you.
311
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:21,641
Aw.
312
00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:29,982
Your turn.
313
00:15:30,051 --> 00:15:32,318
Hang on, I'm checking
to see if Neil replied
314
00:15:32,387 --> 00:15:34,487
to my latest
smackdown.
315
00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:37,223
Really? Don't you think this
Twitter feud is a little silly?
316
00:15:37,292 --> 00:15:38,658
Absolutely not.
317
00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:40,660
It's-it's two
respected scientists
318
00:15:40,728 --> 00:15:42,762
debating opposing views
in a public forum.
319
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:46,332
You called him
Mike Tyson's little sister.
320
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:50,136
Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's
mad at me, too.
321
00:15:51,839 --> 00:15:55,241
Raj, you're not going to impress
anyone by attacking him.
322
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:58,811
Oh, Bernadette,
you sound so old right now.
323
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:06,152
He said he needs a break,
and I'm too much for him.
324
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,387
Oh. I'm sure he
didn't mean that.
325
00:16:08,456 --> 00:16:11,190
He said I'm overbearing!
326
00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:15,061
Oh, please, you're just
the right amount of bearing.
327
00:16:16,331 --> 00:16:18,331
Look, I know he loves you.
328
00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:21,033
If you just give him some space,
I'm sure he'll come back.
329
00:16:21,102 --> 00:16:22,802
You really think so?
330
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:24,437
Yeah, I do.
331
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:28,307
You're a good person, Penny.
332
00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:32,111
I hope we get to spend
lots of time together.
333
00:16:35,216 --> 00:16:37,416
Me, too.
334
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:42,088
- Yes?
- Hit the road.
335
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:44,457
- But...
- Now!
336
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,258
Can I get my stuff?
337
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:49,095
Be quick about it!
338
00:16:55,069 --> 00:16:57,303
- Hello.
- Hello.
339
00:16:57,372 --> 00:17:00,139
I brought you two hot dogs.
340
00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:01,741
A-Aren't you
gonna eat one?
341
00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:04,310
From a street cart?
Are you crazy?
342
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:07,146
I'm amazed that
I'm holding them.
343
00:17:07,215 --> 00:17:08,714
I'm not really hungry.
344
00:17:08,783 --> 00:17:14,053
You realize that I'm not
a particularly physical person.
345
00:17:14,122 --> 00:17:16,989
- I know.
- When I was little,
346
00:17:17,058 --> 00:17:19,659
and people asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up,
347
00:17:19,727 --> 00:17:22,862
I'd always say,
"A brain in a jar."
348
00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:24,430
Sure.
349
00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,932
Yeah, but I want to be
a good husband to you,
350
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:30,903
and intimacy
is a part of that.
351
00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:33,105
Please put those down.
352
00:17:33,174 --> 00:17:35,341
I'm just worried
that if I don't schedule
353
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:38,511
our bedroom endeavors,
then I may not think about them,
354
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:41,013
and you'll grow
cold and distant
355
00:17:41,082 --> 00:17:45,351
and seek solace in the arms of
a heavily-muscled longshoreman.
356
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:48,087
Where would I find
a longshoreman?
357
00:17:48,156 --> 00:17:50,089
Along the shore.
It's in the name.
358
00:17:53,461 --> 00:17:56,896
Sheldon, I could never be
with anybody but you.
359
00:17:56,964 --> 00:17:58,731
That's good to know.
360
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,399
I wouldn't want
to fight a man
361
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:03,669
who's brave enough
to touch a fish.
362
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,940
How's this for
a compromise?
363
00:18:08,009 --> 00:18:11,811
Make all the schedules you want,
just don't tell me about them.
364
00:18:11,879 --> 00:18:13,579
Excellent.
365
00:18:13,648 --> 00:18:15,781
I'll create an algorithm
that'll generate
366
00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:18,084
a pseudo-random schedule.
Yeah, and do you know why
367
00:18:18,152 --> 00:18:20,286
it won't be a true
random schedule?
368
00:18:20,354 --> 00:18:23,255
Because the generation
of true random numbers
369
00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:25,891
remains an unsolved problem
in computer science.
370
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,226
Come with me.
371
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:28,839
- Where are we going?
- To the hotel room.
372
00:18:28,863 --> 00:18:30,529
And when we get there,
I'm gonna need you
373
00:18:30,598 --> 00:18:33,032
to say that again, except naked.
374
00:18:46,676 --> 00:18:49,677
Go for Dr. K.
375
00:18:49,746 --> 00:18:51,278
Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
376
00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:52,545
Yes. Who is this?
377
00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:55,181
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
378
00:18:57,285 --> 00:18:58,918
Uh, w-wow.
379
00:19:00,521 --> 00:19:03,122
How fun is this
Twitter thing, huh?
380
00:19:03,191 --> 00:19:05,057
You think you're funny?
381
00:19:05,126 --> 00:19:08,127
I'm-I'm not Seinfeld funny, but
I did an open mic night once.
382
00:19:08,196 --> 00:19:09,895
You're not funny.
383
00:19:09,964 --> 00:19:12,631
Yeah, that's what they said
at the Chuckle Hut.
384
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,467
How about this:
385
00:19:14,535 --> 00:19:17,470
I've got a book signing at
Vroman's in Pasadena next week.
386
00:19:17,538 --> 00:19:20,706
Why don't you come by and say
some of those things to my face.
387
00:19:20,775 --> 00:19:22,708
Oh, no,
388
00:19:22,777 --> 00:19:25,578
but thanks for the invite.
389
00:19:25,646 --> 00:19:28,047
Smart move, and the next time
you pick up your phone,
390
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:32,818
remember, I'm the guy who kicked
Pluto out of the solar system.
391
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:35,087
And it deserved it, sir.
392
00:19:35,156 --> 00:19:37,389
Thank you. Bye-bye.
393
00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:41,427
Well, that was fun.
394
00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:44,597
Let's see who else needs
a deGrasse kickin'.
395
00:19:48,803 --> 00:19:51,937
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
396
00:19:52,006 --> 00:19:55,341
Hey, Bill, Neil Tyson.
We've got to talk.
397
00:19:57,222 --> 00:20:04,222
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net