1
00:00:00,097 --> 00:00:01,655
(mystical music)

2
00:00:01,637 --> 00:00:03,628
And so, it may appear

3
00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:08,791
that the course of everyday events
is random and without design,

4
00:00:09,797 --> 00:00:12,072
but it is not so.

5
00:00:12,157 --> 00:00:14,796
Every experience we have,

6
00:00:14,877 --> 00:00:17,345
everything that happens to us,

7
00:00:17,437 --> 00:00:20,713
- has purpose and meaning.
- (creaking)

8
00:00:36,557 --> 00:00:38,627
# Big Train

9
00:00:57,437 --> 00:00:59,997
# Big Train

10
00:01:00,077 --> 00:01:05,231
# ..by the hand and lead you through
the streets of London

11
00:01:05,317 --> 00:01:07,751
# l'll show you something

12
00:01:07,837 --> 00:01:13,628
# To make you change your mind

13
00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:18,112
Thank you. Thank you very much.

14
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,668
Thank you.

15
00:01:20,757 --> 00:01:22,907
Thank you very much.

16
00:01:23,357 --> 00:01:25,234
Thank you.

17
00:01:25,317 --> 00:01:30,391
OK. l'd like to, uh...
l'd like to try a new song now.

18
00:01:30,837 --> 00:01:33,226
(glass smashes)

19
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,467
- What's he doing?
- No idea.

20
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:42,345
- This one is one that l...
- ''Streets of London''!

21
00:01:42,437 --> 00:01:46,112
- l've just done that. This is a new song...
- (man) ''Streets of London''!

22
00:01:46,197 --> 00:01:49,314
No, l've just done that one.
Just finished doing it.

23
00:01:49,397 --> 00:01:52,309
- This is a new song, which l'm sure...
- ''Streets of London''!

24
00:01:52,397 --> 00:01:56,185
- ..you'll all enjoy. This one's called...
- ''Streets of London''.

25
00:01:56,277 --> 00:01:59,508
- What are you doing?
- This song's called ''The Highwayman''.

26
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:02,555
- (man) What?
- (guitar begins)

27
00:02:02,637 --> 00:02:05,231
# A highwayman came a-calling

28
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:08,468
- What is this?!
- # Came a-callin' at my door

29
00:02:08,557 --> 00:02:11,515
- # Saw my rags
- ''Streets of London''!

30
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,792
# Saw that we were poor...

31
00:02:13,877 --> 00:02:16,345
''Streets of London''!

32
00:02:19,317 --> 00:02:22,229
- No!
- No. ''Streets of London''.

33
00:02:22,317 --> 00:02:23,989
# That wicked highwayman

34
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,307
- ''Streets of London''.
- Stop it!

35
00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:32,836
- (abrupt song change)
- # How can you tell me you're lonely

36
00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:36,705
(singing drowned out
by cheers and whistles)

37
00:02:42,317 --> 00:02:45,514
Course l miss her.
l miss her every single day. Um...

38
00:02:47,597 --> 00:02:51,954
But when l think of the way
that, uh, Jerry lost his wife...

39
00:02:52,037 --> 00:02:55,632
You know, the way she died...
lt was just so sudden.

40
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,196
And...

41
00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,474
Just horrible, you know? (sniffs)

42
00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:02,548
Just coming to this group has really...

43
00:03:02,637 --> 00:03:04,753
(party music)

44
00:03:07,957 --> 00:03:08,992
(music cuts out)

45
00:03:09,077 --> 00:03:11,796
When my sister...

46
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,266
my twin sister

47
00:03:14,357 --> 00:03:16,348
um... was killed,

48
00:03:16,437 --> 00:03:22,228
it was just the sort of guilt, l think,
of feeling like it should...

49
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,272
(party music)

50
00:03:28,997 --> 00:03:30,988
(music cuts out)

51
00:03:34,717 --> 00:03:36,275
Ho-ho-ho-ho!

52
00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:38,996
Look at that! Find of the day.

53
00:03:39,077 --> 00:03:41,227
Oh, my goodness. Where's the brush?

54
00:03:41,317 --> 00:03:45,754
l'm gonna take this out really gently,
but it's very intact.

55
00:03:45,837 --> 00:03:48,271
Look at that. Look at that.

56
00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:52,314
Hello. That's Roman,
probably second century AD.

57
00:03:52,397 --> 00:03:56,788
This is something that probably belonged to
a noblewoman, probably a general's wife or...

58
00:03:56,877 --> 00:03:58,549
That's mine.

59
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,946
lt's mine. l dropped that one earlier.

60
00:04:01,037 --> 00:04:03,346
- lt's yours? But it was under...
- Yeah.

61
00:04:03,437 --> 00:04:08,386
No, it's definitely mine, because of
the snake... snake thing. Can l have it?

62
00:04:08,477 --> 00:04:14,473
- Right, yeah. Sorry, l didn't realise...
- lt is mine. Just get on with your digging.

63
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:20,587
- Detectotronic's functional.
- Biomechanical system's working perfectly.

64
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,747
OK.

65
00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:26,307
- Time to wake up, Jon.
- Yes. Wake up.

66
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:32,756
- You're the future of law enforcement.
- (woozily) Wh... what's going on?

67
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:37,035
You've been chosen, Jon.
You are the future of law enforcement.

68
00:04:37,117 --> 00:04:40,553
(slurred) You've... you've put me
in a cardboard box?

69
00:04:40,637 --> 00:04:43,709
Yes. lt's fantastic, isn't it?

70
00:04:43,797 --> 00:04:47,346
Why... why have you put me
in a cardboard box?

71
00:04:47,437 --> 00:04:52,067
Don't get upset, Jon. You'll blow
all your electric neurotransmitters.

72
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:55,149
- What am l supposed to do?
- Get out there.

73
00:04:55,237 --> 00:04:58,946
Get out there and enforce the law,
FutureCop.

74
00:04:59,437 --> 00:05:01,428
Can you help me up?

75
00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:04,831
(dramatic music)

76
00:05:14,317 --> 00:05:17,389
- Nice work, Doug.
- Yes. Brilliant.

77
00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:22,592
- (man) Quick, run!
- (sirens)

78
00:05:25,797 --> 00:05:28,265
(police radio)

79
00:05:39,237 --> 00:05:42,035
- We need backup!
- (noise and confusion)

80
00:05:50,797 --> 00:05:55,666
- ls your man ready?
- Just you watch, Chief. Just you watch.

81
00:06:00,757 --> 00:06:03,317
(officer) l hope he's good.

82
00:06:12,877 --> 00:06:14,674
(gunfire)

83
00:06:22,797 --> 00:06:25,391
(comedy bassoon music)

84
00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:31,713
This is the strongest there is.
lt does paper and wood. Metal.

85
00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:37,747
lt's completely waterproof and it's basically
top of the product range in this area.

86
00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:42,388
(Dutch accent) l was told you had
something... a little stronger.

87
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,265
Sorry?

88
00:06:45,357 --> 00:06:49,430
l was told you had something
a little... (whispers) stronger.

89
00:06:50,597 --> 00:06:52,906
No. No, this is the strongest.

90
00:06:54,557 --> 00:06:57,390
You know what l mean.

91
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,312
l don't know what you mean.

92
00:07:00,397 --> 00:07:03,548
Honestly, this is the strongest glue
on the market.

93
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:08,467
Come on. You know
what l'm talking about.

94
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:13,628
(nervously) l don't know
what you're talking about.

95
00:07:19,757 --> 00:07:22,669
(mutters) l'll go and see the manager...

96
00:07:30,637 --> 00:07:34,676
- You the fella wanting extra-strong glue?
- That's right, yes.

97
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:38,033
As young Harvey told you,
this is the strongest on the market.

98
00:07:38,117 --> 00:07:40,233
You won't find any elsewhere.

99
00:07:40,757 --> 00:07:43,191
Come on.

100
00:07:43,277 --> 00:07:47,270
l'm telling you,
there's nowt stronger than that.

101
00:07:47,357 --> 00:07:49,268
Come on.

102
00:07:54,797 --> 00:07:57,186
Come with me.

103
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,430
Sit yourself down.

104
00:08:28,317 --> 00:08:30,308
(manager exhales)

105
00:08:33,277 --> 00:08:36,394
l hope you know what
you're getting yourself into.

106
00:08:36,477 --> 00:08:39,549
- Can l ask who told you about us?
- You don't need to know.

107
00:08:39,637 --> 00:08:42,834
- Was it John King?
- Former manager of Tranmere Rovers?

108
00:08:42,917 --> 00:08:45,112
- Yes.
- No.

109
00:08:46,397 --> 00:08:48,786
Right then.

110
00:08:53,557 --> 00:08:55,548
(Dutch man) At last.

111
00:08:55,997 --> 00:08:58,955
Sticko-Extra.

112
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:01,949
l never thought that l would see this.

113
00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:05,632
Listen, uh, you don't
have to answer this, but...

114
00:09:05,717 --> 00:09:09,107
will you be using it on animals or people?

115
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,348
(gasps)

116
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:22,151
- Dr Offenbach?
- l am his nephew.

117
00:09:24,317 --> 00:09:26,751
Pleasure to meet you, sir.

118
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:33,313
(laughter and noise)

119
00:09:36,597 --> 00:09:38,588
(silence)

120
00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:42,915
Uh, pint of lager, please.

121
00:09:48,197 --> 00:09:50,631
(woman) Right, very good.
(children) Yes!

122
00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:54,676
OK. Whose go is it? Right.
You do that one, Bobby.

123
00:09:54,757 --> 00:09:57,032
- Yeah!
- Hiya.

124
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:03,987
(crowd roars)

125
00:10:11,837 --> 00:10:14,146
(cheering suddenly stops)

126
00:10:17,797 --> 00:10:19,788
(silence)

127
00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:24,026
What about Tuesday?

128
00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:29,635
No. Can't. There's been
a terrible outbreak of cholera in Delhi.

129
00:10:29,717 --> 00:10:31,992
l'd better get along, check it out.

130
00:10:32,077 --> 00:10:34,545
- What about Wednesday then?
- Um...

131
00:10:34,637 --> 00:10:38,994
No, Wednesday is the flood
in Bangladesh.

132
00:10:39,077 --> 00:10:41,989
- Oh, that's a disaster.
- Thursday?

133
00:10:42,077 --> 00:10:47,310
Um, no, no. l'm doing a malaria thing
for Comic Relief.

134
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:51,072
To tell you the truth,
l think next week is out entirely.

135
00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:55,469
l mean, l really like the sound
of paintballing... Uh...

136
00:10:55,557 --> 00:10:58,117
Maybe...

137
00:10:58,197 --> 00:11:02,110
at the end of the month,
when l come back from Rome. Hm?

138
00:11:02,197 --> 00:11:03,516
(man #2) Yeah, OK.

139
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:06,395
Don't stay in the sun too long,
you might shrivel up.

140
00:11:06,477 --> 00:11:10,231
- (laughs) l'm shrivelled up already.
- l mean even more than you are already.

141
00:11:10,317 --> 00:11:14,151
l'll just write a few things in my Filofax
and l'll be in right away.

142
00:11:14,237 --> 00:11:16,990
- All right. Bye. See you later.
- All right.

143
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,511
Now, let's see...

144
00:11:20,517 --> 00:11:22,951
Oh, my God. Rick. Rick!

145
00:11:23,037 --> 00:11:25,471
- What is it?
- She's totally shrivelled up.

146
00:11:25,557 --> 00:11:26,592
My God!

147
00:11:26,677 --> 00:11:30,556
(squeaky voice) Don't worry, boys.
Calm down, this has happened before.

148
00:11:30,637 --> 00:11:32,673
Just put me in water.

149
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:36,755
lt's no problem.
l've just absorbed too much water.

150
00:11:36,837 --> 00:11:40,227
l'll just stay out here in the sun.
l'll be fine.

151
00:11:40,397 --> 00:11:43,309
(shouts in foreign language)

152
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:48,228
(voiceover) How would you deal
with this situation? He's confused, afraid.

153
00:11:48,317 --> 00:11:51,115
Sometimes desperate people
can do desperate things.

154
00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:54,030
Some tourists don't even speak English.

155
00:11:54,117 --> 00:11:57,871
Does he want to visit the Crown Jewels
or buy a postcard from the shop?

156
00:11:57,957 --> 00:12:03,953
Maybe he wants to know why there aren't
any ravens today. What would you do?

157
00:12:05,277 --> 00:12:08,747
Well done.
He just wanted to use the toilet.

158
00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:12,432
The Beefeaters.
Have you got what it takes?

159
00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:18,547
There we go.

160
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,673
Look at that.

161
00:12:21,677 --> 00:12:25,829
Hello, soldier. That's a centurion's helmet.
About 800 years ago that guy...

162
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:29,273
- Did you find that tucked into the soil there?
- lt was there.

163
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:32,906
- Because l think that might be my helmet.
- But it was buried.

164
00:12:32,997 --> 00:12:37,434
l can tell, if l can get my arm around it like...
Yes. You see?

165
00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:42,796
What l would normally do
is l would wear it like that

166
00:12:42,877 --> 00:12:46,711
- and the snake would go...
- Go on the back.

167
00:12:46,797 --> 00:12:50,870
lt does... lt looks... lt does suit you.

168
00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:54,586
Anyway, it was buried,
so it must've got covered up.

169
00:12:54,677 --> 00:12:58,909
What l'll do is remove the topsoil here.
Get in the digger and start a new grid.

170
00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,272
- That's my digger.
- lt's what?

171
00:13:01,357 --> 00:13:04,076
That's my digger.
lf you could do digging down here.

172
00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:07,308
- That's your digger?
- lt's mine, yes.

173
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:18,594
All l can say is we're looking forward
to you working with us.

174
00:13:18,677 --> 00:13:22,192
lt was an excellent interview
and you've got a very impressive CV.

175
00:13:22,277 --> 00:13:24,507
We had no choice, to tell the truth.

176
00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:27,873
l'm thrilled. When l saw the job
three years ago l was gutted

177
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:30,266
because l'd taken the position in Dubai.

178
00:13:30,357 --> 00:13:34,509
- Well, it's all worked out.
- Can l just say thank you so much.

179
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:38,033
- l suppose we should mention the...
- The strings, yeah?

180
00:13:38,677 --> 00:13:41,111
Shouldn't be a problem,
we can work round them.

181
00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:43,836
You mustn't be embarrassed
to mention the strings.

182
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:48,035
- ls it all right if we...?
- No, go ahead.

183
00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:49,436
Oh.

184
00:13:49,517 --> 00:13:52,315
- That's very interesting, isn't it?
- Of course.

185
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:55,469
l suppose they're the Thunderbird type
strings, are they?

186
00:13:55,557 --> 00:13:58,515
Basically, yes - but l'm not a puppet.

187
00:14:01,677 --> 00:14:03,668
Oh, about my pension plan...

188
00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:06,829
l hope there aren't any strings attached.

189
00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:14,428
Sorry to bring it up again.
Are they very restricting?

190
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:16,826
l have trouble with doorways

191
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:19,875
and have to be disassembled
to go from one room to the next.

192
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:23,188
That's why l arrived in a box
and you had to put me together.

193
00:14:23,277 --> 00:14:25,632
l wondered what that was about
when you came in.

194
00:14:25,717 --> 00:14:28,026
Well, Colin, we'll see you next week.

195
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:33,191
And great to have you onboard. Oh, l meant
to ask, is that your convertible out there?

196
00:14:33,277 --> 00:14:36,189
- Open top? l have trouble with the...
- Of course, yeah.

197
00:14:36,277 --> 00:14:39,553
And what about the old how's-yer-father?
What about sex?

198
00:14:39,637 --> 00:14:42,026
Prefer it on top.

199
00:14:49,277 --> 00:14:53,714
Well, we say if you're talented,
that's all that counts. lt's enough for us.

200
00:14:53,797 --> 00:14:55,515
(knock)

201
00:14:55,597 --> 00:14:59,749
There's Jenny. She's a glove puppet.
You'll be working closely with her...

202
00:14:59,837 --> 00:15:00,667
(Jenny) Hello.

203
00:15:00,757 --> 00:15:04,193
- .. in very much a hands-on fashion.
- More like hands-in fashion.

204
00:15:11,997 --> 00:15:13,953
Yes. lt's really very nice.

205
00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:17,712
The material on the dress
is in very good condition,

206
00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:19,947
as is the hair.

207
00:15:20,037 --> 00:15:24,428
Some lovely lacework here.
How long have you had it?

208
00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:28,226
l've had it about 60 years.
Since l was a little girl.

209
00:15:28,317 --> 00:15:31,229
That long? Really?

210
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:36,789
Well, l know it's rather impolite
to ask a lady her age, but how old are you?

211
00:15:36,877 --> 00:15:39,596
- l'm 67.
- Gosh.

212
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:44,034
Really? That's amazing.
l thought you were in your late twenties.

213
00:15:45,637 --> 00:15:49,630
Such a pretty little thing. So, value.

214
00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:54,791
- How much do you think it's worth?
- Well, l really don't know.

215
00:15:54,877 --> 00:16:00,110
Well, l would say
this is probably worth around...

216
00:16:00,197 --> 00:16:03,234
ten million pounds.

217
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,796
Really? l had no idea.

218
00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:09,868
lt's good, isn't it?

219
00:16:11,477 --> 00:16:14,753
Would you, uh... Would you mind if l...?

220
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,865
Gerald. Come on. Back to the antiques.

221
00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:27,669
- Where you going?
- Camden.

222
00:16:27,757 --> 00:16:30,715
- Camden, 1 5 pounds. Dave?
- Yeah?

223
00:16:30,797 --> 00:16:33,152
- Can you take these two to Camden?
- Sure.

224
00:16:33,237 --> 00:16:36,866
See you later. Follow me.

225
00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:46,910
(they chat)

226
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:53,910
Anywhere on the left here is great.
How much is that?

227
00:16:53,997 --> 00:16:58,388
- 1 5 quid please.
- Okey-dokey. 1 5, 1 7, thanks a lot.

228
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:01,913
Thanks very much, mate.
Have a good night.

229
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:11,150
Hello. My name is Dominic Flasks.
l work in a zoo, and this is what l do.

230
00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:13,467
(soft rock music)

231
00:17:22,797 --> 00:17:25,994
l think he's very good.
Very confident with the animals.

232
00:17:26,077 --> 00:17:29,149
He's got a very good look, very distinct.

233
00:17:29,237 --> 00:17:32,752
Hm. You don't think
he's perhaps too obvious a choice?

234
00:17:32,837 --> 00:17:35,397
No, l don't. We should get him in for a chat.

235
00:17:35,477 --> 00:17:41,427
My name is Dominic Flasks. You've seen
what l can do - now let me do it for you.

236
00:17:46,837 --> 00:17:49,112
- Thanks for coming in, Dominic.
- Right.

237
00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:51,626
- Do you mind if we tape this?
- No. Not at all.

238
00:17:51,717 --> 00:17:55,346
Great. So, what have you been up to lately?

239
00:17:55,437 --> 00:17:59,908
l've been doing a lot of zookeeping,
in Bristol, mainly.

240
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:04,036
l'm really enjoying looking after sea lions.

241
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:08,713
Well, you know... l enjoy looking after
all the animals. l like 'em all.

242
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,391
OK. That sounds great.

243
00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:17,234
One thing we noticed from your showreel
was your hat that said ''Zookeeper''.

244
00:18:17,317 --> 00:18:20,309
Yeah. Actually, that one
belonged to Bristol Zoo.

245
00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:23,345
Oh, so you haven't got your own hat?

246
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:27,316
Yeah. l got a hat.
Sorry, l didn't know l had to bring it in.

247
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:32,232
No, it's all right, it's all right. Sorry to ask,
it's just the way the industry's going.

248
00:18:32,317 --> 00:18:34,626
- But l have got one.
- Right.

249
00:18:34,717 --> 00:18:37,356
OK. Shall we try one?

250
00:18:38,957 --> 00:18:41,107
Yeah.

251
00:18:41,197 --> 00:18:44,587
- Anything you want me to particularly do?
- Just have fun with it.

252
00:18:44,677 --> 00:18:46,668
Right.

253
00:18:58,277 --> 00:19:01,986
These beautiful, flowing classical lines,

254
00:19:02,077 --> 00:19:06,753
very typical of this particular type
of Art-Deco figurine.

255
00:19:06,837 --> 00:19:10,591
- Now, have you any others like this?
- No. That's the only one.

256
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:14,431
Hm. Because it's common
for these to be part of a set.

257
00:19:14,517 --> 00:19:16,712
But it's really rather beautiful.

258
00:19:16,797 --> 00:19:19,470
Now, have you any idea
how much it's worth?

259
00:19:19,557 --> 00:19:22,549
l did have it valued about ten years ago.

260
00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:25,674
And l was told it was worth
about a hundred pounds.

261
00:19:25,757 --> 00:19:30,626
Mm. Well, these pieces have become
very popular in recent years.

262
00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:36,155
And l would say this particular piece
should be insured for no less than...

263
00:19:36,237 --> 00:19:39,195
50 million pounds.

264
00:19:40,157 --> 00:19:42,546
Good gosh.

265
00:19:42,637 --> 00:19:44,434
Oh.

266
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:48,753
Really? That's quite a lot.

267
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:51,556
You know we're gonna go to bed together,
don't you?

268
00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:55,027
l know it and l think you know it too.

269
00:19:55,117 --> 00:19:57,233
- Neither of us can fight it.
- Gerald.

270
00:19:57,317 --> 00:19:59,831
Come on. Back to the antiques.

271
00:20:02,797 --> 00:20:05,106
(# ''Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush''
on xylophone)

272
00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:09,349
- How are you today, Billy?
- l'm very well, Betty. lsn't it a beautiful day?

273
00:20:09,437 --> 00:20:11,792
l'll just stop you there.

274
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:16,473
- The text is probably... lt needs...
- (man) What, you think it's a bit basic?

275
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:19,993
lt's too basic, l think.
l know what he's getting at, but...

276
00:20:20,077 --> 00:20:24,753
l have a problem with Alan's position. l need
to exit cleanly when Auntie Mabel arrives.

277
00:20:24,837 --> 00:20:29,592
- Yeah. lt's a bit of a problem for me too.
- We'll worry about the text for the moment.

278
00:20:29,677 --> 00:20:33,306
l'd like you, Philippa, at
''lt's a beautiful day'', blah, blah, blah,

279
00:20:33,397 --> 00:20:36,116
could you take your shoes off?

280
00:20:36,197 --> 00:20:38,995
l may have a problem with that,
because, well...

281
00:20:39,077 --> 00:20:42,547
- Well... but can you try it?
- (she struggles)

282
00:20:44,797 --> 00:20:47,265
( Alan) l've got a problem...

283
00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:51,873
Yeah, l've got the same problem
taking off my trousers in scene six.

284
00:20:51,957 --> 00:20:55,836
No, it's not gonna work, is it?
Let's just... let's look at the script.

285
00:20:57,797 --> 00:21:00,231
(both struggle, Alan tuts)

286
00:21:00,317 --> 00:21:02,467
No. This is...

287
00:21:10,357 --> 00:21:12,632
No, th-that's mine.

288
00:21:22,797 --> 00:21:25,550
Come on. Where is she?
We'll miss the start of the show.

289
00:21:25,637 --> 00:21:29,710
She's hasn't been here before. lt's probably
taking her time finding the house.

290
00:21:29,797 --> 00:21:32,186
- (doorbell)
- Oh, great. That's her.

291
00:21:32,277 --> 00:21:35,269
(# Tchaikovsky's ''The Nutcracker''plays)

292
00:21:36,277 --> 00:21:39,030
Hi. Come in.

293
00:21:39,117 --> 00:21:42,587
- Jo, hi.
- Sorry l'm late. l couldn't find the address.

294
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,828
We're running a bit late too,
so we'll head straight off.

295
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:49,751
This is Dame Margot Fonteyn.

296
00:21:49,837 --> 00:21:54,627
lf you could just give her a cup of cocoa about
eight and then send her to bed about nine.

297
00:21:54,717 --> 00:21:56,787
ls there anything else she needs to know?

298
00:21:56,877 --> 00:22:03,908
She's a very elegant lady, so try not to swear
in front of her or be coarse in any way.

299
00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,477
l was expecting... a child?

300
00:22:09,157 --> 00:22:11,830
Dame Margot isn't a child.

301
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:15,387
- She's the first lady of British ballet.
- Right.

302
00:22:15,477 --> 00:22:18,549
Better get a move on. OK.
Back around ten. Thanks.

303
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:20,628
Thank you.

304
00:22:36,757 --> 00:22:38,429
Oh, shit.

305
00:22:40,797 --> 00:22:45,188
My husband, who knows a bit more than me
about these things,

306
00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:48,667
thinks it might be worth
about 200 pounds.

307
00:22:48,757 --> 00:22:51,317
Well, l think it's worth
a bit more than that.

308
00:22:51,757 --> 00:22:55,830
Now, l would say that this particular piece,
at today's prices,

309
00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:59,466
would fetch on the market
somewhere in the region of...

310
00:22:59,557 --> 00:23:03,391
1 5 billion pounds.

311
00:23:03,477 --> 00:23:05,991
That's a lot more than l'd thought.

312
00:23:06,077 --> 00:23:09,069
- Surprised?
- Oh, yes, very surprised.

313
00:23:09,157 --> 00:23:12,786
Would you mind if l... just...?

314
00:23:13,597 --> 00:23:15,076
Yes.

315
00:23:15,157 --> 00:23:18,467
You're very beautiful
without your glasses.

316
00:23:18,557 --> 00:23:20,627
l... just...

317
00:23:30,037 --> 00:23:36,033
Gerald, get your hands off the tits. You know
that's not allowed. For goodness sake.

318
00:23:40,797 --> 00:23:45,348
(voiceover) You don't feel older,
but those grey hairs tell a different story.

319
00:23:45,437 --> 00:23:49,191
Well, it's too late for you,
but maybe it's not too late for your kids.

320
00:23:49,277 --> 00:23:54,909
Exla 2000 is a revolutionary new beard dye
that starts to work before it's needed.

321
00:23:54,997 --> 00:23:59,388
Simply inject it into your son's face
and get on with your life.

322
00:23:59,477 --> 00:24:05,029
40 years later the pain has faded, but just
look at that beard. But how does it work?

323
00:24:05,117 --> 00:24:10,589
After Exla 2000 is applied, it combines
with your son's beard at a molecular level.

324
00:24:10,677 --> 00:24:13,111
When it appears,
it's already been treated.

325
00:24:13,197 --> 00:24:16,667
lt's like having a personal beard-care expert
in your chin.

326
00:24:17,197 --> 00:24:21,270
Exla 2000. Natural beard colour
for the next generation.

327
00:24:21,357 --> 00:24:23,791
Available in silk or matte finish.

328
00:24:23,877 --> 00:24:25,913
Also available in Future Blonde.

329
00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:28,511
- Don't eat all the Twiglets.
- l can't help it.

330
00:24:28,597 --> 00:24:31,475
- You have put the potatoes on? Sure?
- (doorbell)

331
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:33,548
Oh, that'll be them.

332
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:41,633
- Hello!
- (woman #2) Sorry! Hi!

333
00:24:41,717 --> 00:24:45,187
- Go through. l was getting nervous!
- l know. A lot of traffic.

334
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:49,714
- Bit of a long drive. Sorry we're so late.
- Oh, dear. Come in.

335
00:24:49,797 --> 00:24:50,946
- Hello, Bill.
- Hi.

336
00:24:51,037 --> 00:24:54,552
- Good to see you. Do you mind if l...?
- No. Straight through.

337
00:24:54,637 --> 00:24:57,435
- You sure you don't mind?
- No, not at all.

338
00:24:57,517 --> 00:25:01,351
Four hours in the car.
Not surprised he's dying for it.

339
00:25:02,477 --> 00:25:06,516
Actually, l would love one of those.
Do you mind if l... Shall l help myself?

340
00:25:06,597 --> 00:25:10,226
- You stay there. l'll get you one of those.
- Oh, thanks, Bill.

341
00:25:11,477 --> 00:25:14,549
There you are, one sherry for you.
That's mine.

342
00:25:18,357 --> 00:25:20,871
- Oh, dear, goodness me.
- Phew!

343
00:25:20,957 --> 00:25:22,026
Wow.

344
00:25:22,117 --> 00:25:25,348
Thank you. Cheers, Bill,
that is so sweet of you.

345
00:25:25,437 --> 00:25:29,794
l don't think l know anyone that would have
let their friend have sex with their wife

346
00:25:29,877 --> 00:25:31,868
just cos they were a bit desperate.

347
00:25:31,957 --> 00:25:35,188
l would have done it with Sarah,
but l thought, cos l'm here...

348
00:25:35,277 --> 00:25:37,745
why not do it with Emma?

349
00:25:42,557 --> 00:25:44,787
Um, l thought...

350
00:25:45,197 --> 00:25:50,476
(stammers) To be honest, l thought you
meant you just wanted to go to the toilet.

351
00:25:53,517 --> 00:25:54,836
l...

352
00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:57,226
l did mean that l wanted
to go to the toilet,

353
00:25:57,317 --> 00:26:03,392
but l wanted to have sex more than that,
you know? So, l thought you...

354
00:26:03,477 --> 00:26:05,547
What did you think l meant?

355
00:26:05,637 --> 00:26:08,356
Well, l presumed you meant
you wanted to have sex.

356
00:26:08,437 --> 00:26:11,395
That's why l had sex with you.

357
00:26:12,757 --> 00:26:14,873
l presumed you meant sex.

358
00:26:15,757 --> 00:26:18,396
- Ooh.
- (embarrassed laughter)

359
00:26:20,917 --> 00:26:24,387
lf it makes you feel any better,
then have sex with Sarah.

360
00:26:25,277 --> 00:26:26,949
Um...

361
00:26:27,477 --> 00:26:31,516
- How do you feel about that, Sarah?
- Yeah. Not a problem.

362
00:26:33,157 --> 00:26:35,671
No... No, l don't think... No.

363
00:26:38,317 --> 00:26:41,354
Well, this is a bit awkward, isn't it?
Maybe we should go.

364
00:26:41,437 --> 00:26:45,715
No. You know... No.
l'm just a bit... bit surprised.

365
00:26:47,917 --> 00:26:51,353
Look, l know. Why don't you have sex
with all three of us?

366
00:26:51,437 --> 00:26:53,393
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

367
00:26:54,237 --> 00:26:57,673
Well, no, then that would be an orgy
and l'm really...

368
00:26:57,757 --> 00:27:01,147
To be honest, l was just looking forward
to a nice quiet dinner.

369
00:27:01,237 --> 00:27:04,946
lt wouldn't be an orgy because
we'd have sex with each other in turn,

370
00:27:05,037 --> 00:27:08,347
it wouldn't be like we were
all having sex at the same time.

371
00:27:08,917 --> 00:27:13,354
Daniel's being really generous. He's not even
gay and he's offering to have sex with you.

372
00:27:13,437 --> 00:27:16,509
lt doesn't bother me.
lt doesn't bother me at all.

373
00:27:16,597 --> 00:27:19,350
What do you say?

374
00:27:24,437 --> 00:27:26,189
Well, l...

375
00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:29,474
Well, maybe. As long as l get a blow job.

376
00:27:31,597 --> 00:27:33,315
(Emma clears her throat)

377
00:27:37,317 --> 00:27:38,796
(sighs)

378
00:27:38,877 --> 00:27:41,152
l think we're gonna go.

379
00:27:42,357 --> 00:27:44,632
l'm sorry.

380
00:27:44,717 --> 00:27:48,505
- l'm sorry.
- No, l'm sorry. But, you know...

381
00:27:49,637 --> 00:27:53,186
- (Emma) l'll speak to you in the morning?
- Yeah. lt's not your fault.

382
00:27:53,277 --> 00:27:55,666
l know. l'm sorry.

383
00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:59,032
- Bye.
- l'm shocked.

384
00:28:24,997 --> 00:28:27,192
Visiontext Subtitles: Katherine Appleby