1
00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:26,130
# Большая возня

2
00:00:45,019 --> 00:00:47,055
# Большая возня

3
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:55,609
Так, отличная работа. Прекрасно.

4
00:00:55,699 --> 00:00:57,974
And the DP, please. ???

5
00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:00,050
Так. Решающий момент.

6
00:01:02,819 --> 00:01:05,253
Вообще то, мне нужно еще 
раз выйти, прошу прощения.

7
00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:07,534
Не могли бы вы... ? Спасибо.

8
00:01:43,699 --> 00:01:47,453
Простите. У меня там тарелки 
на палочках крутятся.

9
00:01:47,539 --> 00:01:48,688
Ааа!

10
00:01:49,139 --> 00:01:52,290
- Она еще не закончена.
- Давай просто поимпровизируем, Кристин.

11
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,496
- И слова я еще не закончила.
- Надо ведь с чего-то начинать.

12
00:01:55,579 --> 00:01:58,173
- Go on. Let's hear it.
- OK. Now?

13
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,655
# l really like your smile

14
00:02:03,579 --> 00:02:07,697
# Something makes it... seems worthwhile

15
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:11,135
# Like a kitten in the snow

16
00:02:11,219 --> 00:02:14,655
# Like a puppy in the show

17
00:02:15,539 --> 00:02:18,451
- That's it.
- That's basically there.

18
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:22,293
Could you go through it again from the start?
l'll just pick out the chords.

19
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:26,452
- You start, l'll just come in.
- # l really like your smile

20
00:02:26,539 --> 00:02:29,736
(electric guitar drowns out singing)

21
00:02:46,179 --> 00:02:48,534
- Sorry.
- lt's a classic, isn't it?

22
00:02:48,619 --> 00:02:51,417
- Just play along. lt's in D.
- Right.

23
00:02:51,499 --> 00:02:56,289
We'll start. Just come in, OK?
Chris, ready? One, two, three, four...

24
00:02:56,379 --> 00:02:59,177
(guitars drown out singing)

25
00:03:12,419 --> 00:03:15,809
- Christine's new song.
- Christine, that's shit hot.

26
00:03:15,899 --> 00:03:19,050
- Get on the kit, man. Get on the kit.
- Yeah, absolutely. Shit.

27
00:03:19,139 --> 00:03:21,892
Why don't we do a big drum intro
and then go straight in?

28
00:03:21,979 --> 00:03:23,332
Drum intro?

29
00:03:23,419 --> 00:03:25,410
- Yeah, go on.
- Let's rock it.

30
00:03:27,739 --> 00:03:29,730
(singing inaudible)

31
00:03:49,299 --> 00:03:51,938
Whoo! Hey, hey! Christine!

32
00:03:52,019 --> 00:03:54,453
- All right, well done.
- Rock it, sister!

33
00:03:54,539 --> 00:03:56,575
lt's not even finished.

34
00:03:56,659 --> 00:03:59,457
(# ''Trumpet Tune'' by Purcell)

35
00:04:05,299 --> 00:04:07,654
- Gentlemen, good to see you.
- Hello, Paul.

36
00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:11,175
l must say, congratulations
on your recent efforts at Castle Quinn.

37
00:04:11,259 --> 00:04:12,817
Exceptional.

38
00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:15,288
So, you wanted to see me?

39
00:04:16,499 --> 00:04:22,893
lt's not a massive problem really, but we have
become a bit concerned about the uniforms,

40
00:04:22,979 --> 00:04:25,937
in that they're a little bit uncomfortable.

41
00:04:26,019 --> 00:04:31,218
lt's not so much the weight. lt's just that
it can get quite hot for starters.

42
00:04:31,299 --> 00:04:33,688
Yeah. My problem is the wrists.

43
00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:36,009
l can't bend them properly.

44
00:04:36,419 --> 00:04:38,774
Yeah, especially when you're eating.

45
00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:41,851
They're really awkward
when you're eating berries.

46
00:04:41,939 --> 00:04:43,452
- Yeah, berries.
- Yeah.

47
00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:47,248
Another thing l've noticed,
when l'm wearing my helmet,

48
00:04:47,339 --> 00:04:51,935
if someone's talking to me,
because the helmet's so thick and heavy,

49
00:04:52,019 --> 00:04:54,408
l can't hear them half the time.

50
00:04:54,499 --> 00:04:57,297
Erm... That could be a job offer or something.

51
00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:59,813
We don't want you to think we're being picky.

52
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:04,848
No, not at all.
The thing is, there's a problem there.

53
00:05:04,939 --> 00:05:07,931
lf we don't have our armour,
we might get a bit chopped up.

54
00:05:08,019 --> 00:05:09,611
Sure. Sure.

55
00:05:09,699 --> 00:05:14,250
lt's up to you really, if you want to
give it a try without the armour for a bit.

56
00:05:14,339 --> 00:05:16,250
- We could see how that goes.
- Really?

57
00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:21,333
Tell you what, why don't l have a chat
with those upstairs and get back to you?

58
00:05:21,419 --> 00:05:22,977
- How's that?
- Brilliant.

59
00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:24,936
That would be great, thank you.

60
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:26,611
- Thanks very much.
- All the best.

61
00:05:26,699 --> 00:05:28,018
Cheers, Paul.

62
00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:30,408
That's fantastic. That is fantastic.

63
00:05:30,499 --> 00:05:34,174
Might as well start
making some changes now.

64
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,410
(roar of battle)

65
00:05:52,779 --> 00:05:55,418
Lovely one.
How was that, more comfortable?

66
00:05:55,499 --> 00:05:59,617
Was it... Oh, l can see
there's going to be a problem with insurance.

67
00:06:01,179 --> 00:06:03,613
Let's look at the first of last night's targets.

68
00:06:03,699 --> 00:06:07,089
This was a munitions factory
just outside the city.

69
00:06:07,179 --> 00:06:10,774
We hit it with F20s,
which have a low explosive capability,

70
00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:14,488
but very deep penetration.
Here we go.

71
00:06:14,579 --> 00:06:19,016
lt would have gone... (imitates bomb whining)

72
00:06:20,539 --> 00:06:25,693
''Agh!'' l can't do the accent but, you know...
''Aargh! Oh, God, help me!''

73
00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:27,053
Boom!

74
00:06:27,139 --> 00:06:32,259
The next target was a military installation
we've had our eyes on for some time now.

75
00:06:32,339 --> 00:06:36,696
That would have been like...
(imitates whizzing and multiple explosions)

76
00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:40,454
''Argh! Oh, no, my God, help me!''

77
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:42,452
''The pain of it all!''

78
00:06:42,539 --> 00:06:46,248
''Oh, Christ! My leg's come off!
Somebody find it!''

79
00:06:47,019 --> 00:06:49,249
''Aargh! Oooh! They're coming!''

80
00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:51,489
You know... ''Direct hit! Ow!''

81
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,252
The last target was a barracks.

82
00:06:54,339 --> 00:06:57,092
This was full of people,
so this would have been...

83
00:06:57,179 --> 00:06:59,977
(imitates whizzing and explosion)

84
00:07:00,059 --> 00:07:03,415
''Aaaaargh!''

85
00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:05,652
''Aargh!''

86
00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:08,617
(imitates blood spurting)
''lt's coming out of my neck!''

87
00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:11,259
''Oh, no, my God, help me!''

88
00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:13,295
''Get a nurse, get a nurse!''

89
00:07:13,379 --> 00:07:15,370
''Ow! My face!''

90
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:23,977
Afterwards the noise coming from the area
would probably be something like this...

91
00:07:25,259 --> 00:07:27,932
(imitates wind blowing softly)

92
00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:32,134
(imitates wind whistling)

93
00:07:34,099 --> 00:07:36,135
(imitates bird) What's that?

94
00:07:36,219 --> 00:07:39,814
lt's a vulture. They're already circling.

95
00:07:39,899 --> 00:07:41,890
(sings)

96
00:07:49,779 --> 00:07:53,738
l'm sorry. That's the music for Platoon.
lt gets me right there.

97
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:58,217
But King Edward l
still had his troubles in Wales.

98
00:07:58,619 --> 00:08:04,216
ln 1 27 7, he advanced, with naval support,
and blockaded Llewelyn.

99
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:07,008
Having starved him into submission,

100
00:08:07,099 --> 00:08:12,617
he then tightened his grip on the principality,
by erecting a circle of powerful castles.

101
00:08:13,579 --> 00:08:16,377
Having thus quelled the Welsh...

102
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:19,451
lt's great. lt really keeps the kids
interested in history.

103
00:08:19,539 --> 00:08:23,009
Oh, yeah.
They'll never forget who King Tits was.

104
00:08:24,339 --> 00:08:26,455
There's no need to be nervous.

105
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:29,611
Sorry, it's just anything to do with eyes
makes me a bit...

106
00:08:29,699 --> 00:08:32,133
Well, laser treatment is completely safe.

107
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:36,053
All you have to do is sit there
and stay perfectly still for me, all right?

108
00:08:36,139 --> 00:08:38,937
- All right.
- Perfectly still...

109
00:08:44,939 --> 00:08:49,012
- (patient) How's that? ls that all right?
- Erm...

110
00:08:49,099 --> 00:08:52,887
Er, yeah. l'm, er...

111
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,651
- l'm gonna have one more go, all right?
- OK.

112
00:08:57,819 --> 00:09:01,698
Right. Er... OK.

113
00:09:03,339 --> 00:09:06,172
- (patient) ls that it? ls it finished?
- Er...

114
00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:09,778
Yes. Yeah.

115
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:12,327
Oh! l didn't feel anything there.

116
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,330
Good, well, erm...

117
00:09:14,419 --> 00:09:16,694
That's, yeah, absolutely as it should be.

118
00:09:16,779 --> 00:09:21,091
That's very good, because l'm taking
some tablets for depression at the moment.

119
00:09:21,179 --> 00:09:23,170
l've got some very weird side effects.

120
00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:25,170
- Really?
- Yes.

121
00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:30,287
ls, erm... Have you had anything like
invisibility at all?

122
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:31,812
l beg your pardon?

123
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:35,451
Just make a bit of an effort.
He is your best friend.

124
00:09:35,539 --> 00:09:38,212
You know what he's like.
His girlfriends are terrible.

125
00:09:38,299 --> 00:09:40,654
Don't make assumptions.
She might be nice.

126
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:43,299
- Remember the last one he had?
- Calvina.

127
00:09:43,379 --> 00:09:45,370
Calvina.

128
00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:49,288
There he is.

129
00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:54,373
Hiya! Great to see you. Come in, come in.
Michaela's dying to meet you.

130
00:09:56,459 --> 00:09:59,132
Matt and Rachel, here she is.

131
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:03,132
Michaela, this is Matt and Rachel.
Matt and Rachel, this is Michaela.

132
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:05,608
Hiya. Y'all right?

133
00:10:05,699 --> 00:10:08,497
- Pleased to meet you.
- Oh, posh!

134
00:10:09,299 --> 00:10:13,975
She's my new lady,
and she's just fantastic, aren't you?

135
00:10:19,259 --> 00:10:23,377
Shall we, er... get on to the restaurant?

136
00:10:23,459 --> 00:10:25,814
Yeah, it's supposed to be really nice.

137
00:10:25,899 --> 00:10:30,051
lt's French and it's got
a really fabulous wine list.

138
00:10:30,139 --> 00:10:32,448
Wine? Oh, no, never touch the stuff.

139
00:10:32,539 --> 00:10:35,007
Voddy and Red Bull gets me going,
don't it, Keith?

140
00:10:35,099 --> 00:10:37,215
How would l know?

141
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:42,327
l'll tell you what, she is such a laugh.
She knows some great stories as well, so...

142
00:10:43,299 --> 00:10:47,178
Hang on. Let me get my hair over my tits
and l'm all yours.

143
00:10:49,499 --> 00:10:53,128
Hands! You dirty bugger,
you're like a bloody octopus!

144
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,211
l told you. Just like all the others.
Worse, if anything.

145
00:10:56,299 --> 00:10:58,051
l think she's really nice.

146
00:10:58,139 --> 00:11:00,494
- No, you don't.
- l do.

147
00:11:00,579 --> 00:11:04,458
Oi! Pull over 'ere, will ya?
l want to get my tabs.

148
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:08,612
- Better get some johnnies as well.
- Yeah, jumbo pack.

149
00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:13,568
Well? What do you think?

150
00:11:13,659 --> 00:11:17,254
Keith, she's really, really lovely.

151
00:11:17,339 --> 00:11:20,411
- Do you think so?
- You've done very well.

152
00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:22,490
Thanks, mate.

153
00:11:24,139 --> 00:11:27,893
Right. And the final part
of the story is, right...

154
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:32,848
- she couldn't sit down for a fuckin' week!
- (Keith laughs loudly)

155
00:11:33,979 --> 00:11:38,575
- l'm just going to go to the loo.
- Oh, love, are you on the blob?

156
00:11:38,659 --> 00:11:43,414
- l'll go too. Missing you.
- Oh, hang on. l know what's going on here.

157
00:11:43,499 --> 00:11:47,128
You keep your filthy hands off him,
you bitch. He's mine.

158
00:11:47,219 --> 00:11:50,495
- Could you ring for a taxi, Matt?
- Yeah.

159
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,007
- l miss you so much.
- Me too.

160
00:12:30,019 --> 00:12:32,010
What do you think?

161
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,775
l'll probably get the surveyor in
to have a look at it.

162
00:12:37,859 --> 00:12:41,693
Well, it's very good,
cos it keeps the heat in in the rainy season.

163
00:12:42,339 --> 00:12:44,250
Yes.

164
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,807
- l'll take it.
- Great, great.

165
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:52,369
You've got all that over there
to look at, which is nice.

166
00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:58,968
Excuse me, madam. Would you be interested
in taking our personality test?

167
00:12:59,059 --> 00:13:02,449
Excuse me, madam. Are you interested
in taking our personality test?

168
00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:05,849
Excuse me, sir. Would you be interested
in taking our personality test?

169
00:13:05,939 --> 00:13:10,376
- Personality test?
- Yes, it's very simple. lt won't take long.

170
00:13:10,459 --> 00:13:13,769
lt just helps you to understand yourself
and the world a bit more.

171
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,851
lt's not religious, is it?
You've got all these books...

172
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:19,817
lf you're interested in what we offer,
that's great,

173
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:23,016
but otherwise, absolutely no obligation.

174
00:13:23,099 --> 00:13:26,489
Well, l'm going to be waiting around
for my train, so l might as well.

175
00:13:26,579 --> 00:13:31,494
That's great. Come inside, please, sir.
lt'll only take a few seconds. Thank you.

176
00:13:31,579 --> 00:13:37,529
lf you'd like to take a seat here, sir,
and fill this in. Pencil there.

177
00:13:37,619 --> 00:13:39,655
And just tell me when you've finished.

178
00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,695
Right.

179
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:50,850
Finished.

180
00:13:52,779 --> 00:13:54,974
Do l get the results today?

181
00:13:58,099 --> 00:14:00,249
lt's extraordinary.

182
00:14:01,339 --> 00:14:04,411
- Could you wait just a moment?
- l've got to catch my train.

183
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:07,297
Just one moment. l'll be very quick.

184
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,370
Yeah, but...

185
00:14:17,299 --> 00:14:20,291
Erm... Could you follow me, please, sir?

186
00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:24,734
- l can't...
- lt won't take long, sir. Please?

187
00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:27,174
- As long as it won't.
- No. Thank you, sir.

188
00:14:32,859 --> 00:14:36,534
- Will this take long? l've a train to catch.
- Just bear with me, sir.

189
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:41,290
Here we are, sir.

190
00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:54,697
Our quest is over.

191
00:15:01,339 --> 00:15:04,331
He is the one!

192
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,097
Sorry. Thought it was him, but, er...

193
00:15:31,179 --> 00:15:33,374
Don't think so, no.

194
00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:54,132
Paratroopers, this is it.

195
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:57,689
This is what you've trained for.
lt's the day you've waited for.

196
00:15:57,779 --> 00:16:03,331
There is now one single exit from this plane,
and that is that door there.

197
00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:05,569
Smith, you're first. Let's go!

198
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:07,775
- Don't you mean Phillips?
- What?!

199
00:16:07,859 --> 00:16:10,009
- Can Phillips go first?
- Excuse me?

200
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:13,216
l'd like to go after Phillips.
Can Phillips go first?

201
00:16:13,299 --> 00:16:16,735
Are you having a laugh?
You go out of this plane now. You're first up.

202
00:16:16,819 --> 00:16:19,617
- Don't want to go now.
- What do you mean, you don't want to?

203
00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:23,328
l don't care if you don't like it, you little shit!
Come here!

204
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,893
- No! lt's cold.
- All right, all right.

205
00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:33,651
Oh, thanks... Agh!

206
00:16:34,099 --> 00:16:35,578
Stupid little man!

207
00:16:38,899 --> 00:16:40,890
Get out!

208
00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:42,850
- Go!
- What are you doing?

209
00:16:42,939 --> 00:16:44,770
Ow!

210
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,577
Oi!

211
00:16:52,419 --> 00:16:56,856
Right, Richard. Let's see if l've got this right.

212
00:16:56,939 --> 00:16:59,499
After an anonymous tip-off,

213
00:16:59,579 --> 00:17:03,128
you've become convinced
that in the last year

214
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:06,928
senior management have been
murdering members of staff...

215
00:17:07,019 --> 00:17:08,247
Yes.

216
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:13,367
..and replacing them with
sophisticated robot lookalikes...

217
00:17:13,459 --> 00:17:15,017
Yes.

218
00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:20,935
..in order to avoid paying their wages
without antagonising the unions.

219
00:17:21,019 --> 00:17:24,489
l know it sounds crazy, but yes.

220
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:29,127
Richard... come here.

221
00:17:31,899 --> 00:17:34,891
Well, do they look like robots?

222
00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:39,055
Well, they don't look like robots...

223
00:17:39,139 --> 00:17:41,653
- Let's put it to them.
- No, no, no, no.

224
00:17:41,739 --> 00:17:43,889
Excuse me, guys.

225
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,176
Can l just have your attention
for a second?

226
00:17:47,259 --> 00:17:49,819
l was just wondering
what your reaction would be

227
00:17:49,899 --> 00:17:54,450
if l told you that Richard here
thinks that you might be robots?

228
00:17:54,539 --> 00:17:56,928
(robot voices in unison) Ha ha ha.

229
00:17:58,819 --> 00:18:01,572
Well, are you robots?

230
00:18:02,219 --> 00:18:06,212
(robot voices) No. We are not robots.

231
00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:09,735
Thought so. OK, thank you very much.
Back to work.

232
00:18:11,379 --> 00:18:15,850
l don't know what to say, you know...
l feel quite embarrassed.

233
00:18:15,939 --> 00:18:18,499
Richard, are you all right?

234
00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:19,375
Yeah.

235
00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:22,690
- Everything all right at home?
- Yeah, it's not bad.

236
00:18:22,779 --> 00:18:25,737
- Better get on with my work.
- OK.

237
00:18:29,019 --> 00:18:31,408
So you wrote it in jail?

238
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:36,091
He did put a lot into it.
l think it's excellent.

239
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:38,409
Why were you in jail?

240
00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:44,607
lt wasn't anything serious.
lt was just... broke a few windows.

241
00:18:44,699 --> 00:18:47,657
- lt's a big one, isn't it?
- What was it called again?

242
00:18:47,739 --> 00:18:52,051
Mein Kampf. What does that mean?
ls it ''My Camp''?

243
00:18:52,139 --> 00:18:54,016
- No, it's ''My Struggle''.
- Right.

244
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,454
What do you think?

245
00:18:57,779 --> 00:19:01,055
l have to say, it's not very PC, is it?

246
00:19:01,739 --> 00:19:03,457
He hates that stuff.

247
00:19:03,539 --> 00:19:07,134
l thought... Seriously,
there's lots in it l liked,

248
00:19:07,219 --> 00:19:12,054
but some of it, l would have to say,
is borderline racist.

249
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:17,372
- (woman) Yeah. Me too.
- l wish l could be more positive.

250
00:19:17,459 --> 00:19:21,611
lt's just that if we put it out as is,
we'd get into a lot of trouble.

251
00:19:21,699 --> 00:19:23,690
(woman) Yeah.

252
00:19:24,819 --> 00:19:26,696
Can we...

253
00:19:26,779 --> 00:19:32,649
Can we do two versions - a racist version
and then a non-racist version?

254
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:36,129
How would you feel about that, Adolf?

255
00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:40,215
You wouldn't be happy with that.

256
00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:44,895
l think he likes the racist version.
Personally, l don't think it is racist.

257
00:19:46,179 --> 00:19:49,933
- Erm...
- We'd love to take it, but, er...

258
00:19:50,019 --> 00:19:54,456
- lt's just not really our thing.
- lt's not really our style.

259
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:59,215
Thank you very much for coming in
and all the best.

260
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,527
Thank you very much.

261
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:04,737
(woman) Very nice to meet you, Adolf.
What's that you're doing there?

262
00:20:04,819 --> 00:20:07,731
He's writing your names
in his little black book.

263
00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:11,732
l do hope he's not going to
hold a grudge against us.

264
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:15,494
Very nice to meet you.
l'm sure you'll find a publisher.

265
00:20:15,579 --> 00:20:17,535
Bye.

266
00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:31,414
Excuse me.

267
00:20:31,499 --> 00:20:33,649
Excuse me. Come on.

268
00:20:33,739 --> 00:20:36,173
There you are, Sean. Sit there.

269
00:20:36,259 --> 00:20:37,408
(inaudible)

270
00:20:50,059 --> 00:20:52,778
- Come on. This isn't the match.
- What?

271
00:20:52,859 --> 00:20:55,327
This isn't the match. Come on.

272
00:21:05,739 --> 00:21:09,414
- (sighs)
- What's going on?

273
00:21:09,499 --> 00:21:14,368
- Maybe we should revise the questionnaire.
- What do you mean?

274
00:21:14,459 --> 00:21:18,771
That question about do you own or rent
your flat - do you reckon that's irrelevant?

275
00:21:18,859 --> 00:21:21,327
l'm beginning to wonder if there is a one.

276
00:21:21,419 --> 00:21:23,853
Good question. ls there a one?

277
00:21:23,939 --> 00:21:25,930
You're a one.

278
00:21:26,659 --> 00:21:28,729
Come on.

279
00:21:28,819 --> 00:21:31,697
There are four strands from the budget
l'd like to stress.

280
00:21:31,779 --> 00:21:35,567
Firstly, and l know this won't
come as a surprise, tax cuts.

281
00:21:35,659 --> 00:21:38,969
- This government has long prided itself...
- (director) Can we stop?

282
00:21:39,059 --> 00:21:42,290
- A duck went into shot.
- l thought that was going rather well.

283
00:21:42,379 --> 00:21:44,609
Yeah, it was, but we could see the duck.

284
00:21:44,699 --> 00:21:48,009
- lsn't that the idea?
- Erm, well, maybe. l just...

285
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:51,614
l wonder if we shouldn't go back
to the original idea and try the dog.

286
00:21:51,699 --> 00:21:55,408
Have a sort of cosy fireside thing, you know.
Just a bit more gravitas.

287
00:21:55,499 --> 00:21:57,330
Oh, really? Right. Yes...

288
00:21:57,419 --> 00:22:00,889
Don't you think it might be nice though
for people to see my duck?

289
00:22:00,979 --> 00:22:03,891
Erm... Possibly, yeah.
lt's not an exact science.

290
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:07,858
l'm just thinking... Are we giving off
the wrong signals with a duck?

291
00:22:07,939 --> 00:22:09,930
Do you think it's a bit quirky?

292
00:22:10,019 --> 00:22:13,216
l wouldn't say it was quirky.
Obviously l like the duck, but...

293
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,449
l just think as an image, you know,

294
00:22:15,539 --> 00:22:18,815
the chancellor next to a duck...
l don't know if it works.

295
00:22:18,899 --> 00:22:21,208
- Could we try it with the dog?
- Well, maybe,

296
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:25,292
but l have to say that l've seen
many broadcasts with dogs,

297
00:22:25,379 --> 00:22:27,415
and l just think it's been rather done.

298
00:22:27,859 --> 00:22:30,578
Hmm... No.
l'm starting to feel less comfortable.

299
00:22:30,659 --> 00:22:35,096
lt's kind of, ''Today l'd like
to talk to you about the budget.''

300
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:36,897
lt's just, erm...

301
00:22:36,979 --> 00:22:40,654
Whereas, with the duck, it's just more natural.

302
00:22:40,739 --> 00:22:43,731
The duck can walk back and forth,
people can look at its beak,

303
00:22:43,819 --> 00:22:47,448
l can refer to the duck. lt's better, isn't it?

304
00:22:47,539 --> 00:22:49,973
Yeah, l see that. l do see that.

305
00:22:50,059 --> 00:22:53,608
But if you're in the armchair,
you could refer to the dog.

306
00:22:53,699 --> 00:22:59,012
Well, l'm not sure.
Plus people won't be able to see the duck.

307
00:22:59,099 --> 00:23:01,294
Right, right. Erm...

308
00:23:02,219 --> 00:23:04,210
OK, let's try one. Still running?

309
00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:07,735
(cameraman) At speed. ln five, four, three...

310
00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:09,969
(duck chirps)

311
00:23:10,059 --> 00:23:13,574
There are four strands from the budget
l'd like to stress. Firstly...

312
00:23:14,619 --> 00:23:17,372
(quickly) You can see the Wilkinsons' house.
They usually holiday in Cannes.

313
00:23:17,459 --> 00:23:21,372
- Yes, dear. They always have a jolly time.
- We shall have a good time in Bournemouth.

314
00:23:21,459 --> 00:23:22,733
l've found a wren's nest.

315
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,697
Mummy Wren will wonder
who's been interfering with her offspring.

316
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,531
- Johnny, put the egg back.
- Must l?

317
00:23:27,619 --> 00:23:29,291
Do as your mother says, young man.

318
00:23:29,859 --> 00:23:32,248
Mummy, Daddy, may we stop
for ginger pop on the way home?

319
00:23:32,339 --> 00:23:33,613
lf your father doesn't mind.

320
00:23:33,699 --> 00:23:37,294
That should be very agreeable.
We all need to cool down in this heat.

321
00:23:37,739 --> 00:23:40,890
- We'll be back in London by six.
- ln time for Bertie and Bernice at seven.

322
00:23:40,979 --> 00:23:44,210
Dash it, are they coming?
She's charming, but he's rather a bore.

323
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,574
- l expect they shan't stay long.
- Hmm.

324
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,650
Well, come on children, time to go.

325
00:23:49,739 --> 00:23:53,618
(speaking slowly) Darling. l've been meaning
to talk to you about something.

326
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:55,769
What is it, dear? Something serious?

327
00:23:55,859 --> 00:23:59,932
Yes. l think you should sit down.
lt's rather a grave matter.

328
00:24:00,019 --> 00:24:01,577
What is it, dear?

329
00:24:01,659 --> 00:24:04,537
Darling, you're speaking too fast.

330
00:24:05,499 --> 00:24:06,898
Speaking too fast?

331
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:09,618
Yes. And it's affecting the children.

332
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:14,409
They're speaking too fast too, and me -
we're all speaking terribly fast.

333
00:24:14,499 --> 00:24:16,535
Let me get this right. Do you want a divorce?

334
00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:20,817
No, darling. l just think
you should speak a little more slowly.

335
00:24:20,899 --> 00:24:23,697
That can't be done. You and the children
had better go home in the car.

336
00:24:23,779 --> 00:24:25,974
l shall make it back to London on my own.

337
00:24:35,259 --> 00:24:38,251
No, that one don't work either.

338
00:24:38,339 --> 00:24:41,217
lt's the wrong... Something's wrong.
What's going on?

339
00:24:41,299 --> 00:24:45,133
l'm really sorry about this, mister.
l remember her saying 533, but...

340
00:24:45,219 --> 00:24:47,972
lt's 53-something. Just keep trying.
lt's one of them.

341
00:24:48,059 --> 00:24:51,495
l can't stay here all day trying every one.
You're mucking me about.

342
00:24:51,579 --> 00:24:56,494
Can't you lot read anyway? ''Only two children
in the bank vault at a time.''

343
00:24:56,579 --> 00:25:00,049
- Why don't we try one of these?
- No, back off. What are you doing?

344
00:25:00,979 --> 00:25:04,767
This is far worse than any of us had feared.

345
00:25:04,859 --> 00:25:09,410
The boys in Sector G are already
calling it ''the doomsday strain''.

346
00:25:09,499 --> 00:25:13,811
lf the antibodies under that microscope
fail to replicate,

347
00:25:13,899 --> 00:25:16,493
the virus will be unstoppable.

348
00:25:17,979 --> 00:25:21,096
Stephen... has it worked?

349
00:25:24,619 --> 00:25:27,087
No.

350
00:25:27,179 --> 00:25:29,773
May God have mercy on our souls.

351
00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:35,369
We have created a bastard chimera,
and like the oedipal child...

352
00:25:35,459 --> 00:25:39,134
- lt has really.
- (both burst into laughter)

353
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,654
You bloody pair!

354
00:25:44,739 --> 00:25:48,049
l knew yesterday. l knew yesterday.

355
00:25:48,139 --> 00:25:52,451
Oh, God! Don't scare me like that.

356
00:25:52,539 --> 00:25:54,530
Oh, my God!

357
00:25:55,979 --> 00:25:58,334
''Oedipal child.''

358
00:25:58,419 --> 00:26:00,410
Ohhhh!

359
00:26:02,459 --> 00:26:05,212
- This is serious!
- You let me carry on, didn't you?

360
00:26:05,299 --> 00:26:09,133
Standing here like a lemon.
Like an unwaxed lemon.

361
00:26:09,219 --> 00:26:11,210
Chimera wars!

362
00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:14,055
lt's lucky l've got a sense of humour.

363
00:26:14,939 --> 00:26:18,978
And fruity. Listen, l'd like to
get to know you a little bit more.

364
00:26:19,059 --> 00:26:21,619
- What about dinner tomorrow night?
- Why not?

365
00:26:21,699 --> 00:26:23,815
All right, l'll pick you up about 7.30.

366
00:26:23,899 --> 00:26:27,209
- OK, 7.30 will be nice.
- OK. See you then.

367
00:26:27,299 --> 00:26:29,290
See you then.

368
00:26:30,579 --> 00:26:33,093
He's nice. Works in the City.

369
00:26:33,179 --> 00:26:34,612
Really?

370
00:26:34,699 --> 00:26:36,735
- Yeah?
- l don't know your address.

371
00:26:36,819 --> 00:26:40,732
- Well, do you want to write it down?
- l think l can probably remember it.

372
00:26:40,819 --> 00:26:46,018
OK. lt's Flat 4, 66 Admiral Walk,
Kentish Town.

373
00:26:46,099 --> 00:26:48,249
OK. See you at 7.30.

374
00:26:48,339 --> 00:26:50,330
7.30.

375
00:26:51,619 --> 00:26:53,211
- What's the parking like?
- What?

376
00:26:53,299 --> 00:26:58,009
What's the parking like? Shall we meet
in a pub beforehand or can l park there?

377
00:26:58,099 --> 00:27:01,728
Erm, a pub? No, the parking's fine.

378
00:27:01,819 --> 00:27:02,808
- Great.
- lt's fine.

379
00:27:02,899 --> 00:27:05,094
- See you.
- See you then.

380
00:27:06,499 --> 00:27:11,334
- ls he OK?
- A bit neurotic. Asked about parking.

381
00:27:11,419 --> 00:27:12,568
- Forgot your address.
- What?

382
00:27:12,659 --> 00:27:17,016
- Forgot your address. Better write it down.
- l think you'd better write it down.

383
00:27:17,099 --> 00:27:19,329
- Have you got a pen and paper?
- No.

384
00:27:19,419 --> 00:27:23,094
- OK. Well, stay there, l'll get one.
- Right.

385
00:27:28,779 --> 00:27:32,374
- No, l don't know. He's a bit forgetful.
- Yes.

386
00:27:32,459 --> 00:27:34,051
l know. Boys.

387
00:27:34,139 --> 00:27:35,857
No one's got one.

388
00:27:35,939 --> 00:27:40,774
lt's a bit annoying. l'll call you tomorrow,
then you can give me your address.

389
00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:43,248
Right. You call me.

390
00:27:43,339 --> 00:27:46,012
- Call you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.

391
00:27:47,419 --> 00:27:50,331
l don't know your number. Phone number.

392
00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:53,411
- Right. Do you want me to give it to you?
- Yes.

393
00:27:53,499 --> 00:27:55,649
- Will you write it down?
- l'll get a pen and paper.

394
00:27:55,739 --> 00:27:59,573
No, shit! Sorry. l didn't mean to say shit then.

395
00:27:59,659 --> 00:28:03,811
No one's got one. l've asked already.
You say it and l'll try and remember it.

396
00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:07,858
OK. lt's 0207 861 8000.

397
00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:10,213
0207...

398
00:28:10,299 --> 00:28:12,130
- 861 .
- 861 ...

399
00:28:12,219 --> 00:28:13,447
- The loo's free.
- Excuse me?

400
00:28:13,539 --> 00:28:15,814
The loo's free. You said you were desperate.

401
00:28:15,899 --> 00:28:18,129
- No, l didn't.
- Are you sure?

402
00:28:18,219 --> 00:28:21,609
Well, anyway it's free if you want to go.

403
00:28:23,099 --> 00:28:24,532
- 0207.
- Yeah, 0207...

404
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:26,132
- Steve, hi.
- Hi.

405
00:28:26,219 --> 00:28:28,813
How are your diarrhoea
and flatulence problems?

406
00:28:28,899 --> 00:28:31,936
You told me you suffer from
more or less constant diarrhoea

407
00:28:32,019 --> 00:28:35,932
and it's really embarrassing,
because you also have incredible flatulence.

408
00:28:36,019 --> 00:28:38,328
No. No.

409
00:28:39,019 --> 00:28:40,498
- See you tomorrow, Marlene.
- Marion.

410
00:28:40,579 --> 00:28:42,535
Shit!

411
00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:06,536
Visiontext Subtitles: Sarah Emery