1 00:00:00,113 --> 00:00:04,982 - So, what's the idea behind this? - We've been looking at the world situation. 2 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:09,112 We'd like to draw attention to some things we think are important. 3 00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:13,789 Hi, l'm here, l have a question. Aren't you worried about appearing foolish? 4 00:00:13,873 --> 00:00:17,752 We may look foolish to you, but we think we look perfectly normal. 5 00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:22,543 - What's your stance on Vietnam? - We think that the war is a genuine attempt 6 00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:26,990 by the South Vietnamese government, with America, to combat communism. 7 00:00:27,073 --> 00:00:30,145 - (all groan) - You can mumble all you like. 8 00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:35,068 l don't think anybody here would swap their life for life under a communist dictatorship. 9 00:00:35,153 --> 00:00:37,792 lsn't this just a cheap attempt at publicity? 10 00:00:37,873 --> 00:00:40,512 Well, for a start, this hotel isn't cheap. 11 00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:45,506 Do you also disagree with the use of hallucinogenics such as LSD? 12 00:00:45,593 --> 00:00:48,153 We think that LSD is completely wrong. 13 00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:51,669 - We wouldn't encourage... - What a pair of weirdos. 14 00:00:51,753 --> 00:00:55,632 They're not weirdos. You just don't understand. 15 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,184 # Big Train 16 00:01:24,113 --> 00:01:26,104 # Big Train 17 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:30,382 - He looks nice. - Oh, John? Yeah, he's lovely. 18 00:01:30,473 --> 00:01:33,829 - ls he single? - Yes, l think he is. 19 00:01:33,913 --> 00:01:36,063 - He's not gay, is he? - No. 20 00:01:36,153 --> 00:01:39,065 And he's here on his own, too. Come on. 21 00:01:39,153 --> 00:01:42,031 John, Sophie. Sophie, John. 22 00:01:42,113 --> 00:01:44,229 - Hello. - Um... 23 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,952 Right, l'm off to sort the drinks out. 24 00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:51,470 So, you're here on your own too? 25 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:54,025 (roars) 26 00:02:09,753 --> 00:02:12,825 l... just need to go and get a refill. 27 00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:18,547 l thought you said he wasn't gay. 28 00:02:20,313 --> 00:02:22,190 (moans) 29 00:02:22,273 --> 00:02:24,867 The grim business of the day begins, Mr Flint. 30 00:02:24,953 --> 00:02:28,787 Aye, sir. Many men lost today in the field. 31 00:02:28,873 --> 00:02:33,264 Lieutenant Fitzwilliam had his horse shot from under him. Both legs crushed. 32 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:37,471 Fine fellow. l met him and his wife at Buckminster last summer. 33 00:02:38,313 --> 00:02:40,304 - Are you brave, soldier? - Aye, sir. 34 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:43,590 You may have to be. We ran out of whisky some time ago. 35 00:02:44,193 --> 00:02:46,184 Do your worst, Dr Sanderson. 36 00:02:46,273 --> 00:02:49,902 At least l shall fare better than poor young Johnny Fairfax. 37 00:02:49,993 --> 00:02:53,588 l saw his body lying in the copse not three hours ago. 38 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,666 - This July 6 will live long in the memory. - lndeed, sir. 39 00:02:57,753 --> 00:03:02,873 Begging your pardon, sir, does this date not hold some other significance for you, sir? 40 00:03:03,353 --> 00:03:05,071 l don't... 41 00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:09,988 Yes, Mr Dawson, you mean it is my birthday. l'd quite forgotten. 42 00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:16,069 A celebration of such insignificance would seem out of place amidst the horror of battle. 43 00:03:19,153 --> 00:03:22,828 - (nurse) Dr Sanderson? - Ah, nurse, uh, forgive me... 44 00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:24,904 All right, lads! Go on girl! 45 00:03:24,993 --> 00:03:26,984 (all sing ''The Stripper'') 46 00:03:28,513 --> 00:03:30,390 (mumbles) 47 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,105 Wahey! 48 00:03:43,753 --> 00:03:46,142 Hey-hey! 49 00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:49,191 No, no, look, off you go. You... 50 00:03:49,273 --> 00:03:50,592 Oh! 51 00:03:50,673 --> 00:03:52,868 You monkeys. 52 00:03:53,673 --> 00:03:55,152 Argh! 53 00:04:02,553 --> 00:04:04,589 - lt's lovely here. - The food's good. 54 00:04:04,673 --> 00:04:07,028 - Good. - Can l just say that 55 00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,071 l think you've got really beautiful, soft hands. 56 00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:12,144 Thank you. 57 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:16,270 - lt's a nice menu. - Yes. 58 00:04:16,353 --> 00:04:19,311 l'm... l'm not very good at this. 59 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,384 What, ordering food? 60 00:04:21,473 --> 00:04:24,431 No, l... l mean going on dates with men. 61 00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:28,472 My family's quite religious, so l haven't got much experience with men. 62 00:04:28,553 --> 00:04:32,785 lf it's any consolation, you're delightful company and l'm having a nice evening. 63 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,990 - Thank you. - l think l might have the duck. 64 00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:41,945 - Philip, that man looks like George W Bush. - Who? 65 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:44,069 - That man there. - Hey, rude to point. 66 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,745 (tuts) 67 00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:54,747 Jane, we've been going out for six months now and l think it might be time. 68 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,506 What do you mean? 69 00:04:57,593 --> 00:04:59,345 Jane... 70 00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:03,192 will you marry me? 71 00:05:03,273 --> 00:05:05,389 Oh, Philip, yes, of course l will. 72 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,668 Let's try this on. 73 00:05:14,913 --> 00:05:18,792 - There we go. - Philip, it's gorgeous. 74 00:05:19,393 --> 00:05:25,309 Maybe now you might consider, you know, what we were talking about. 75 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:29,306 Philip, l've always said l'd rather wait until we were married. 76 00:05:29,393 --> 00:05:32,829 - l just thought now we're engaged... - l know, but can you wait 77 00:05:32,913 --> 00:05:37,270 until the wedding night? Please. l just want it to be special. 78 00:05:38,473 --> 00:05:40,464 - OK. - Thanks. 79 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,305 Philip. 80 00:05:46,393 --> 00:05:48,623 l think l'm ready. 81 00:05:50,953 --> 00:05:52,944 God, you're beautiful. 82 00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:14,069 - (Jane) Darling. - (music from ''Psycho'') 83 00:06:14,153 --> 00:06:16,542 Come and do my back. 84 00:06:46,993 --> 00:06:52,590 You may dress like an Arab, Lawrence, but may l remind you you're a British subject. 85 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:57,463 This plan you're proposing, you know my feelings about it. lt is preposterous. 86 00:06:57,553 --> 00:07:02,547 - lt could lead you into great danger. - Let me show you something, Crawshaft. 87 00:07:06,473 --> 00:07:08,828 What are you doing? That must be painful. 88 00:07:08,913 --> 00:07:12,508 The trick, dear Crawshaft, is to control pain. 89 00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:17,709 One can block out the sensation of burning flesh and feel nothing. 90 00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:20,068 Lawrence, stop it. 91 00:07:20,153 --> 00:07:22,144 Stop it, man! 92 00:07:24,393 --> 00:07:27,783 Actually, that time l did feel a bit of tingling. 93 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:37,703 And that is my proposal. Now, l'm very confident that Dr Harmer is gonna like that. 94 00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:42,344 OK, so, please, please, please, just let Dr Harmer have a look at it. 95 00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:46,551 OK. This is how serious l am about this proposal, OK? 96 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:51,229 lf Dr Harmer reads it and doesn't like it, l'll kill myself. 97 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:56,787 You think l'm joking, don't you, but l'm not. l bought these yesterday. 98 00:07:56,873 --> 00:08:02,311 These are cyanide capsules. Now, we've all seen this in the movies, you know, 99 00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:07,262 the German, the Nazi, the leader - urgh! - you know, dies, whatever. 100 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:11,869 But this is real life and if Dr Harmer reads that and does not like it, 101 00:08:11,953 --> 00:08:14,626 l will swallow one and be dead within seconds. 102 00:08:14,713 --> 00:08:19,264 lf he does not like the proposal, l absolutely promise l will end my own life. 103 00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:23,585 That's how confident l am that Dr Harmer is gonna like this proposal. 104 00:08:26,953 --> 00:08:28,944 OK, let's up the stakes. Erskine. 105 00:08:29,673 --> 00:08:34,383 l am so confident about this proposal that l am prepared to bet not only my life, 106 00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,464 but someone else's as well. 107 00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:39,625 What do you say, Erskine? Are you gonna join me? 108 00:08:39,713 --> 00:08:44,912 There's no risk involved whatsoever, OK, cos l know he's gonna like it. 109 00:08:44,993 --> 00:08:47,223 - l suppose so. - Thank you, thank you. 110 00:08:47,313 --> 00:08:52,467 That's brilliant, but there's zero risk. All you have to do is show him the proposal, OK? 111 00:08:52,553 --> 00:08:55,704 And l guarantee he will love it, OK? 112 00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:58,751 Come on. Let's do this. 113 00:09:02,073 --> 00:09:03,665 OK. 114 00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:07,302 Great. Great. All right, l'm gonna go out there now. 115 00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:11,944 You can have Dr Harmer in here, then you can all tell me just how much he loves it. OK? 116 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:16,390 So, anyone, who's good at opening champagne bottles? 117 00:09:43,873 --> 00:09:45,864 This one, sorry. 118 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:54,630 No. 119 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,705 - What did he say? - He said no. 120 00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:23,146 Really? 121 00:10:23,553 --> 00:10:25,350 Really? 122 00:10:27,073 --> 00:10:30,861 Well, l suppose in hindsight l could have... 123 00:10:30,953 --> 00:10:34,946 it could have done with a bit more work, really, and, um... 124 00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:38,867 some parts of it were... were weak. 125 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,550 Weak. So... 126 00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:44,783 OK, um... 127 00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:46,864 for you. 128 00:10:48,673 --> 00:10:50,664 OK. Cheers. 129 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,710 (gasps) 130 00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:36,501 (man) You know how it is - everyone's having a good time. 131 00:11:36,593 --> 00:11:39,505 You're a young man with a good job and a bright future, 132 00:11:39,593 --> 00:11:41,982 enjoying a nice time with your friends. 133 00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:44,541 But things aren't always what they seem. 134 00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:48,626 Sooner or later, talk can turn away from football and the pop scene, 135 00:11:48,713 --> 00:11:50,590 and move on to darker subjects. 136 00:11:50,673 --> 00:11:56,270 Subjects like buggery. You may have read about it in the newspapers. 137 00:11:56,353 --> 00:12:01,222 Sometimes it's called other names, like ''hot love'', or ''making a ham sandwich''. 138 00:12:01,313 --> 00:12:04,225 Some people may even tell you that it's fun. 139 00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:09,982 Who knows, maybe one of your friends thinks it might be fun to bugger you. 140 00:12:10,073 --> 00:12:12,906 ls Charlie's girlfriend really a girlfriend? 141 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,984 Or is she another man? 142 00:12:15,073 --> 00:12:18,270 After all, you only met her that one time in Plymouth, 143 00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:22,665 when the light in the discotheque was very poor. Oh, yes. 144 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,983 - Hast du Feuer? - Ja, komme ich. 145 00:12:58,513 --> 00:13:02,108 (whispers) Stay still. Don't make a sound. OK? Sh. 146 00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:05,144 (starts to sneeze) 147 00:13:06,713 --> 00:13:09,022 (mouths words) 148 00:13:09,113 --> 00:13:11,866 (yells) Bloody hell! Bollocks! Bollocks! 149 00:13:11,953 --> 00:13:15,992 (quieter) Sorry. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 150 00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:23,831 Pinch me. Pinch me. Pinch me. Pinch me. Tss... 151 00:13:23,913 --> 00:13:26,586 (yells) Oh, what is the point? Bloody hell! 152 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:27,708 Atchoo! 153 00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:33,550 Oh, for goodness' sake, it's just... Bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody hell! Bloody... 154 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:35,908 l-l-l-l... God! 155 00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:42,664 l'll just get that handkerchief. 156 00:13:42,753 --> 00:13:45,551 - lt's all right. l'll just be a sec. - No. 157 00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:50,024 (blows loudly) 158 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:04,061 (blows loudly again) 159 00:14:11,113 --> 00:14:12,626 (clicking) 160 00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:19,904 Of all the beastly luck... 161 00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:25,429 Complete pandemonium. Of course, it was then that dear Arthur Askey turned to me 162 00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:31,509 and said, ''lt's all right, darling, if you ever play Richard lV, it'll come in very handy!'' 163 00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:38,110 Of course, you couldn't see that dear Arthur was clinging on to that chair for dear life. 164 00:14:38,193 --> 00:14:41,469 Yes, he would have broken his bloody neck, wouldn't he? 165 00:14:41,553 --> 00:14:47,788 But l would like to take this opportunity to say that it was wonderful working with you. 166 00:14:47,873 --> 00:14:50,592 - And you, darling. - You're a very special lady. 167 00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:56,464 Not only are you tremendous fun, but you're a marvellous actress with a heart of gold. 168 00:14:56,553 --> 00:15:00,148 - Bless you, my darling. Thank you. - Bless you. Thank you. 169 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,031 Ladies and gentlemen, John Winstanley. 170 00:15:07,513 --> 00:15:12,223 Thank you, John. Well, after that success, you went on to star in the West End 171 00:15:12,313 --> 00:15:15,908 in numerous plays and many films and television shows. 172 00:15:15,993 --> 00:15:21,113 But there was a cloud on the horizon, when your husband Billy became seriously ill. 173 00:15:21,193 --> 00:15:23,991 Billy developed a rare disease - Berlioz Syndrome. 174 00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:28,783 The early symptoms resembled mild flu, but soon his brain shrunk to the size of an orange 175 00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:33,901 and pus and mucus began to ooze out of his ears. Before long, cracks appeared in his skull. 176 00:15:33,993 --> 00:15:36,826 Blood and membrane entered his digestive system. 177 00:15:36,913 --> 00:15:41,429 Fluid congealed in his eye sockets, and he began to grow hair internally. 178 00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:43,504 His finger and toenails fell out. 179 00:15:43,593 --> 00:15:47,552 His armpits began to function at ten per cent of their previous capacity. 180 00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:51,626 His nerve cells became entangled with the internal hair follicles, 181 00:15:51,713 --> 00:15:56,070 while any erection was accompanied by excruciating and unbearable pain. 182 00:15:56,153 --> 00:15:58,792 He was unable to satisfy you sexually. 183 00:15:58,873 --> 00:16:02,707 He also developed lockjaw and the bones in his arms and legs liquefied. 184 00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:05,591 He was unable to eat, drink, sweat, or defecate, 185 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:09,348 and steam pumped out of his face 24 hours a day. 186 00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:11,469 Every one of his features merged. 187 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,386 The skin fell off his bones and crumpled on the floor. 188 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:21,026 Finally, in 1 962, the doctors were forced to reconstruct his entire body from catgut. 189 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,581 - But it wasn't all bad news. - That's right. 190 00:16:23,673 --> 00:16:27,871 That was the year that l did my first sitcom with Junie Whitfield. 191 00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:33,391 - This is very interesting. - Since we had these machines installed, 192 00:16:33,473 --> 00:16:37,182 productivity in this factory has gone up, so we're very happy. 193 00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:41,186 Really? And you print all sorts of things here, don't you? 194 00:16:41,273 --> 00:16:44,743 Yes, we do. We look after all your printing needs. 195 00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:51,304 - How many people do you employ here? - About 1 5 at the moment, in this unit. 196 00:16:51,393 --> 00:16:57,468 - ln the town we're responsible for 50 or 60. - Do you have many European customers? 197 00:16:57,553 --> 00:17:02,024 Yes, Scandinavia, particularly. Sweden. Denmark, you know. 198 00:17:02,113 --> 00:17:05,071 Mm-hm. lt really is a great British success story. 199 00:17:05,153 --> 00:17:06,984 Yes, it is. 200 00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:10,748 l hope you've found the reduction in export duty helpful. Ow. 201 00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:12,824 - Sorry, Minister. Are you OK? - Yes. 202 00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:14,710 - l just hit you with this. - Right. 203 00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:17,591 - Minister, l think we should move on. - OK. Right. 204 00:17:17,673 --> 00:17:20,392 l'm just interested in this, because as a... 205 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,464 Ow! Ooh. 206 00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:29,062 - l really think we should move on. - OK, we're running late? 207 00:17:29,153 --> 00:17:32,065 No, it's just that Mr Purves is hitting you on the head. 208 00:17:32,153 --> 00:17:34,144 Yes. Yes, of course. 209 00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:37,908 OK, well, thank you so much for showing us round the factory. 210 00:17:37,993 --> 00:17:40,587 - lt's been my pleasure. - lt's fasc... Ow! 211 00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:42,026 Ow! Ow! 212 00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,105 Ow! Ow! 213 00:17:44,513 --> 00:17:46,105 Ow! Ow! 214 00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:48,390 Ow! 215 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,272 Ow! 216 00:17:50,673 --> 00:17:52,231 Ow! Ow! 217 00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:54,624 Ow! Ow! 218 00:17:55,393 --> 00:17:56,826 Ow! 219 00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,391 Ow! 220 00:17:59,473 --> 00:18:02,590 - Right, thank you. - Thanks, John. Good to see you again. 221 00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:05,665 - Shall we move on, Minister? - Yes, John, yeah. 222 00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:12,592 (man) OK, guys, this is it. This is what we've trained for. 1 8 months, it's no game. 223 00:18:12,673 --> 00:18:17,110 This is deadly serious. Anyone want to step out now, step out now. 224 00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:22,145 Get the job done, get it done quick, clinical, clean. 225 00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:25,629 OK. 226 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,431 Go! Go! 227 00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:30,186 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 228 00:18:30,273 --> 00:18:33,663 Let the passengers off first. 229 00:18:34,753 --> 00:18:37,392 Oh, hang on, is this East Finchley? 230 00:18:37,473 --> 00:18:39,703 Guys! Guys! 231 00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:44,742 We thought having a baby might help cement our relationship. 232 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:49,748 Well, as it stands at the moment, gay men can legally adopt, 233 00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:52,393 but l'm afraid it's far from simple. 234 00:18:52,473 --> 00:18:57,263 You'd have to first satisfy the authorities that you're able to look after a child 235 00:18:57,353 --> 00:19:00,345 and fit to look after a child. 236 00:19:01,353 --> 00:19:06,552 - We haven't been considering adoption. - That would be much further down the line. 237 00:19:06,633 --> 00:19:09,943 Right, OK, in that case you must be thinking of surrogacy. 238 00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:15,903 Um, again, that would be an option that would be very much a last resort. 239 00:19:15,993 --> 00:19:18,029 We're still trying the usual methods. 240 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,547 - We make love all the time. - Yeah, uh... 241 00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:25,627 We've tried every position, but we just can't seem to make a baby. 242 00:19:25,713 --> 00:19:31,345 So we thought perhaps something along the lines of fertility treatment, or... 243 00:19:32,433 --> 00:19:33,832 Right. Um... 244 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:37,945 Sorry, l don't quite, uh... underst... 245 00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:41,469 Are you actually trying to conceive a child? 246 00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:47,344 We're just frustrated that at this stage we... Despite making love all the time, we just... 247 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:50,027 Neither of us can manage to get pregnant. 248 00:19:50,113 --> 00:19:52,752 But you're both men. 249 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,703 - Are you saying men can't be fathers? - l don't understand. 250 00:19:57,793 --> 00:20:03,584 No, obviously, l mean, men can be fathers, but men can't, uh, get pregnant. 251 00:20:04,473 --> 00:20:08,148 You know, l mean you... you don't have a womb. 252 00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:12,103 Well.. 253 00:20:12,193 --> 00:20:17,870 We were thinking of turning the spare room into a room for the baby. 254 00:20:17,953 --> 00:20:20,751 No, not a room, a womb. 255 00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:23,506 Let me write it down for you. 256 00:20:28,073 --> 00:20:30,792 - ''Womb.'' - What's that? 257 00:20:30,873 --> 00:20:33,671 ls it, um... is it like a Womble? 258 00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:39,150 l really don't think l'm going to be able to help you, l'm sorry. 259 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:41,224 (man tuts) 260 00:20:42,633 --> 00:20:45,022 Oh, well. (clears throat) 261 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:47,832 We'll have to go elsewhere, then, l suppose. 262 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,904 Try the internet. 263 00:21:08,593 --> 00:21:12,745 - Hello, sugar, did you have a nice time? - Yeah, we played pass the parcel. 264 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:17,384 Did you? You must be Lucy, then? Yeah, we're going to take you home? Come on then. 265 00:21:17,473 --> 00:21:20,943 There we are, Lucy, number 33, that's right, isn't it? 266 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,108 Hi. 267 00:21:26,313 --> 00:21:29,908 - Mr Vaughan? - Yeah, yeah. Hi, darling, good party? 268 00:21:29,993 --> 00:21:32,029 Good-oh. Would you like to come in? 269 00:21:32,113 --> 00:21:33,387 No. 270 00:21:33,473 --> 00:21:36,749 Um, no, l won't, l've got Jessica in the car. 271 00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:38,824 Hello, it's Sarah, isn't it? 272 00:21:38,913 --> 00:21:42,189 - Yes, it is. - Oh, thanks so much for bringing her back. 273 00:21:42,273 --> 00:21:45,424 Do you want to come in for a coffee? You can bring Jessica in. 274 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:50,189 No, thank you. Uh, we've... we've really got to... got to get back. 275 00:21:50,273 --> 00:21:51,831 Are you sure? 276 00:21:51,913 --> 00:21:54,108 - Yes, thanks. - OK. Another time. 277 00:21:54,193 --> 00:21:57,071 Yes. OK. Bye. 278 00:21:57,153 --> 00:21:58,506 - Bye. - Bye. 279 00:21:58,593 --> 00:22:00,788 - Bye. - See you. 280 00:22:23,153 --> 00:22:24,506 Bill. 281 00:22:24,913 --> 00:22:26,710 Bill. 282 00:22:26,793 --> 00:22:29,182 Come here. 283 00:22:29,273 --> 00:22:31,264 Taste that. Taste it. 284 00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,222 l think you've done it. 285 00:22:59,633 --> 00:23:02,022 - ls this the sandwich? - Yeah. 286 00:23:05,233 --> 00:23:08,748 - How long have you had it? - Must be about 30 minutes now. 287 00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,267 David came up with it. We called straight away. 288 00:23:11,353 --> 00:23:14,390 - Good. - (David) What are you doing? 289 00:23:14,473 --> 00:23:17,510 We'll take it from here. ls this the bread board? 290 00:23:17,593 --> 00:23:23,350 Yes, and that's the knife, but... Wait, you don't understand. A lot of work's gone into this. 291 00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:26,425 (suited man) Don't worry about the sandwich. 292 00:23:26,513 --> 00:23:28,947 Yes, but what happens now? 293 00:23:31,793 --> 00:23:34,591 What are you...? Where are you taking it? 294 00:23:38,473 --> 00:23:44,469 Where are you taking it? Answer my question! What are you gonna do with my sandwich?! 295 00:24:11,513 --> 00:24:16,348 Yeah, obviously, l'm looking forward to it. l'm very excited about getting out there. 296 00:24:16,433 --> 00:24:21,587 l'm obviously a bit nervous but at this stage l'm just looking forward to getting on with it. 297 00:24:21,673 --> 00:24:24,551 - Best of luck, Kenny. - Thanks very much. 298 00:24:37,793 --> 00:24:41,149 lt's very messy, there's a lot of blood, multiple stab wounds. 299 00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:44,669 - Our man Tucker? - His wife hasn't seen him for a week, so... 300 00:24:44,753 --> 00:24:47,062 - Best get someone round there. - Yes, sir. 301 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:49,542 Oh, look out, here comes the boss. 302 00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:58,586 - Nice to keep me informed. - lt's been ten minutes... 303 00:24:58,673 --> 00:25:00,470 Save it, Jeff. 304 00:25:00,553 --> 00:25:02,987 Janet, this is Constable Atkins. 305 00:25:03,073 --> 00:25:05,985 - Detective Sergeant Willoughby. - Nice to meet you. 306 00:25:06,073 --> 00:25:09,383 (Janet's voice) He is gorgeous. l'd love to out with him. 307 00:25:09,473 --> 00:25:11,270 l'd better get off. 308 00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:16,063 He's really strong and handsome, and l'm just a weak, silly woman. 309 00:25:16,153 --> 00:25:20,271 Multiple stab wounds. lt happened some time between midnight and three. 310 00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:24,471 Urgh, they're horriblel Just look at the corner, just look at the corner. 311 00:25:24,553 --> 00:25:27,625 - Right, OK, let's go inside. - l should warn you... 312 00:25:27,713 --> 00:25:33,709 Jeff, l've seen a lot of dead bodies. This one's not gonna be any different. Let's go inside. 313 00:25:36,193 --> 00:25:38,423 (Jeff) Name's Dick Vallence. 314 00:25:38,513 --> 00:25:41,585 - lt's horriblel l'm gonna be sickl - (dramatic music) 315 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:45,507 Small-time crook, runs a... sorry, ran a garage in Muswell Hill. 316 00:25:45,593 --> 00:25:49,063 His name came up during investigation into the Camberwell bank job. 317 00:25:49,153 --> 00:25:53,192 - lt was Bethnal Green. - l think we're agreed it was the same outfit. 318 00:25:53,273 --> 00:25:56,663 - No... - lt's the same outfit. Let's not quibble. 319 00:25:56,753 --> 00:25:59,506 He's right. l got that completely wrong. 320 00:25:59,593 --> 00:26:03,711 What am l doing as a detective sergeant? l haven't got a clue about crime. 321 00:26:03,793 --> 00:26:05,226 Tea, sir? Ma'am? 322 00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:09,943 He's a violent goon. He should have got ten years for that assault on Moorhead. 323 00:26:10,033 --> 00:26:14,470 Oh, l'd love some chocolate with this tea. Lovely bar of Dairy Milk or a Creme Egg. 324 00:26:14,553 --> 00:26:16,942 - Oh, Steve... - (music swells) 325 00:26:19,553 --> 00:26:20,952 Ohhh... 326 00:26:23,713 --> 00:26:25,431 Janet? 327 00:26:26,393 --> 00:26:29,749 Yes, sorry, l slipped on the carpet. 328 00:26:30,193 --> 00:26:33,390 - Can you get that sorted? Get a new one. - A new carpet? 329 00:26:33,473 --> 00:26:35,941 Yes. Get a new carpet. 330 00:26:36,033 --> 00:26:38,263 Don't you understand? lt's quite simple. 331 00:26:38,353 --> 00:26:41,743 ln fact, that officer there can do it. Go on, off you go. 332 00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,551 (cheeky music) 333 00:26:43,633 --> 00:26:46,067 Oh, he's got a fantastic arse. 334 00:26:46,153 --> 00:26:50,112 - We're gonna stake out Tucker's lockup. - l'm coming with you. 335 00:26:50,193 --> 00:26:53,629 - No need. - lf Tucker's gonna show, l want to be there. 336 00:26:53,713 --> 00:27:00,266 That's your prerogative, if you can't think of anything better to do on a Friday night. 337 00:27:00,353 --> 00:27:02,787 (music from ''Big Train'' on TV) 338 00:27:04,633 --> 00:27:06,032 (thunder) 339 00:27:06,113 --> 00:27:08,183 Now is my greatest moment. 340 00:27:08,273 --> 00:27:12,312 Now all my work shall be rewarded! 341 00:27:12,393 --> 00:27:15,066 - (band starts playing) - Not yet, you fools. 342 00:27:15,153 --> 00:27:17,542 - (band stops) - (wails) 343 00:27:22,753 --> 00:27:25,870 lncrease the voltage, you scumbag. 344 00:27:25,953 --> 00:27:27,944 (band starts playing) 345 00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,711 # Ooh 346 00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:39,071 # Ooh 347 00:27:39,153 --> 00:27:42,384 # This must be, it has to be 348 00:27:45,473 --> 00:27:47,748 # Pure 349 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:51,189 # Let's make this pure 350 00:27:51,273 --> 00:27:54,345 - # Do you mean it? - # Yes, l do 351 00:27:54,433 --> 00:27:57,709 - # Then let's sing it - # Certainly 352 00:27:57,793 --> 00:28:03,425 # But first clear your hearts and cleanse your souls 353 00:28:03,513 --> 00:28:06,789 - # A love... - # Let's try and, let's try and, let's try and... 354 00:28:06,873 --> 00:28:10,866 - # (all) Let's make this precious - # Precious 355 00:28:19,553 --> 00:28:22,784 # Let's make this precious 356 00:28:23,513 --> 00:28:28,064 # Sing me a record that cries pure and true 357 00:28:28,153 --> 00:28:29,586 # Like this one 358 00:28:29,673 --> 00:28:34,793 # Not those guitars, they're too noisy and crude 359 00:28:34,873 --> 00:28:36,022 # He's singing 360 00:28:36,113 --> 00:28:42,461 # The kind that convinces, refuses to leave 361 00:28:42,553 --> 00:28:45,021 The peasantry is not represented by New Labour. 362 00:28:45,113 --> 00:28:47,581 l've been created from scraps and l'm furious. 363 00:28:47,673 --> 00:28:49,629 Mel C is the most talented Spice Girl. 364 00:28:49,713 --> 00:28:55,106 l've been searching for my contact lenses everywhere. l just can't find them. 365 00:28:55,193 --> 00:28:57,787 Visiontext Subtitles: Abigail Smith