1
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,159
(Mobile)

2
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,992
Bugger. Bugger.

3
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,557
Yep, yep. I'm coming, I'm coming.

4
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,551
I'm coming, all right?

5
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,835
Pain in the arse!

6
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,878
- Where are you off to?
- I'm going to yoga.

7
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,473
Oh, I've often wondered...

8
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,915
- What?
- Don't start.

9
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,073
- Eva says I'm stressed.
- What does Eva know about stress?

10
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,628
- She has three kids.
- We've all got three kids.

11
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,998
- At least she's doing something.
- Oi, Thor, get on with it.

12
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,196
I'm only doing it once to shut her up.

13
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,840
I've got to go, I'm late. I'm always late.

14
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,150
Fags.

15
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,513
W-Why have you moved everything
on my desk? Where's my lighter?

16
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,955
Bills. Lots of bills.

17
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,830
Our solicitor sent her solicitor a letter
and his solicitor is billing us for it.

18
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,629
- Are you making coffee or not?
- We need some decent stock.

19
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,678
Stop, Mother of God,
go and get your hair done!

20
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,399
The boiler sounds like it's giving birth,

21
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,155
you still haven't taken
your encyclopedias out of the bath.

22
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,037
I want a herb garden.

23
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,078
What's the matter with you?
Where's my lighter?

24
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,039
Fran is coming to dinner,
I have to cook, clean, run the shop,

25
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,998
- do the dusting, tidy...
- Excuse me.

26
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,230
- Just tell me where it is.
- Excuse me?

27
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,834
- What? What?
- Do you have any Adam Phillips?

28
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,388
How would I know?
Go to a proper book shop.

29
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,359
Look, I didn't come in here
to be insulted.

30
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,955
Well, I didn't ask for the job
of insulting you.

31
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,669
You know, in another life,
maybe we could have been brothers,

32
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,513
running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily.

33
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,160
Maybe we would have
married the local twins

34
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,471
instead of wasting
each other's time in this dump.

35
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,120
But it was not to be, so...

36
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,949
hop it.

37
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,519
Manny, I'm being calm,

38
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,319
I am asking you
for the last time, where is my...

39
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,358
Who does all the shopping? Me.
All the cooking? Me.

40
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,953
Who gets all the stock? Me.

41
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,713
Who went without
so you had a hot breakfast? Me.

42
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,190
Look, there is your lighter there,
next to your cigarettes.

43
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,114
On the desk which I tidied earlier.
Enjoy your bacon roll.

44
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,398
Why do you always have
to make the bacon so curly?

45
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,948
Right! That's it, I quit.

46
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,999
You quit every day.
I'm going out now for some peace.

47
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:03,039
I suggest when you reapply for the job
in about half an hour

48
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,350
you do the interview yourself.

49
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,989
Why not wear your pinstripe suit,
the one that gives you a big arse?

50
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,277
You like the look of yourself in that.

51
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,752
Every bloody day...

52
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,354
- (Door opens)
- I don't know why I bother.

53
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,590
(Sighs deeply)

54
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,638
You interested in these?

55
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,153
Freud?

56
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,913
- Complete set?
- Yeah. Load of rubbish, really.

57
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,592
Don't try and push me.

58
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,199
Condition OK.

59
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,236
Bit scuffed.

60
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,719
20 quid.

61
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,519
- That's fine...
- All right, 25. That's it.

62
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,876
- Great, they're all yours...
- 30. 35.

63
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,872
All right, 40 is my final offer.

64
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,520
50 quid. That's all they're worth.

65
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,637
- All right! 60, yeah?
- Great.

66
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,196
Here's the money. And, er...

67
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,953
here's a tenner for the taxi.

68
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,837
That looks good.

69
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,957
- Hey, hey!
- What?

70
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,031
Brown sauce?

71
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,956
(Birdsong)

72
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,277
- Told you so.
- It's amazing.

73
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,828
If I was any more relaxed
you could just...

74
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,718
- (Mobile)
...pour me into a bowl.

75
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,396
Look at you smiling away.

76
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,755
- (Giggles)
- See?

77
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:46,039
You don't need horrible cigarettes
and gallons of booze just to feel normal.

78
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,554
- Is this normal?
- Yes!

79
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,756
That's what I'm telling you.

80
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,400
You change when you drink,
you're so loud.

81
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,075
You sit there with a fag,
cackling like something out of a brothel.

82
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,720
God, I don't. How horrible.

83
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:04,316
And when you're drunk,
the way you eat and swear...

84
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,075
Suddenly crying and then singing
and kissing terrible men.

85
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,799
I know, I know, I'm awful.

86
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,792
I worry you'll end up
with a head full of gold teeth

87
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,314
roaring over a vegetable stall someplace.

88
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,518
- I'm not that...
- Come over for the next set of exercises.

89
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,637
- We can have carrot juice.
- Carrot juice!

90
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,719
What? No, yes, I'd love to.

91
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,473
- Definitely, great.
- I'll see you then.

92
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:37,076
You know, I've never told you but
all those fags and booze make you reek.

93
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,953
- What? D-Do I?
- Stinky-poos.

94
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,396
No more smoking and drinking
with those two layabouts.

95
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,710
No, no-no, I won't.

96
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,469
Excuse me, can I get...?

97
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,630
Where were you? I called you for ages.
Manny is driving me nuts.

98
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,349
That's because he's got pressure
on his meridian lines.

99
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,671
Which...? Excuse me, c-could I...?

100
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,637
Do I smell or what?

101
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:22,508
(Sniffs) Yes, because you're full of things
that are bad for you.

102
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,194
What? Listen, he's making me miserable.

103
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:30,035
You are miserable because you are
always guzzling, gulping or puffing.

104
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,078
What's wrong with you?
I'm talking about Manny.

105
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,152
You know, the fruit storm
I happen to live with.

106
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,232
- I want a drink.
- You always want something.

107
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,437
In Tibet, if they want something,
know what they do?

108
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,193
- They give something away.
- Do they? Do they?

109
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,477
That must be why
they're such a dominant global power.

110
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,039
Excuse me!

111
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:54,671
You should stop smoking and drinking.
I haven't had anything for two hours.

112
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,591
- Why not?
- Yoga.

113
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,673
Don't mess around with that stuff.
I read it's very dangerous.

114
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,594
It's amazing.
It's like having sunshine in your veins.

115
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,033
Here we go, Mary Poppins.

116
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,271
It is a shame the way
people pollute themselves.

117
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,989
I mean, look around you.
Just look, what do you see?

118
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,150
I see intelligent, attractive people

119
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,755
who smoke and drink all the time
and never get sick or die.

120
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,229
Or bore the bollocks off their friends.

121
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,753
Excuse...!

122
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:29,275
This is pointless. I'll see you at dinner,
which he is making a big deal out of.

123
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,989
You are being irrational.
The only way to inner peace...

124
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,230
Stop talking goo.

125
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:39,791
The only thing that will bring me
inner peace is a beard-seeking missile.

126
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,436
(# Manny humming)

127
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,676
(Footsteps on stairs)

128
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,432
Are you trying to kill me?
You left a box of books on the stairs.

129
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,432
Sorry I bought something
that will actually sell.

130
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,080
- What? What is it?
- Freud, complete works.

131
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,549
Drivel. A waste of money.

132
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,037
So what kind of filth is spewing out
of your hatch tonight?

133
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,588
Mini medleys of chicken
with summer berries.

134
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,148
You know I hate student food.

135
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,152
To start, and then
daube of Argentinian lamb

136
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,949
with a julienne of red roots,
celeriac mash and salsa verde.

137
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,357
I bet you forgot to buy the plonk.

138
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,194
The wines will be a Tavel,
followed by Primitiva or Navarra.

139
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,470
Well, I want a drink now!

140
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,836
There's the two litres
of your Spanish antifreeze.

141
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,993
Let me know when
you want your food chewed.

142
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,039
- I'll wait till you put your teeth in, dear.
- Don't start...

143
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,911
Oh, isn't this nice?

144
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,635
What were those funny-coloured things?

145
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,392
Vegetables.

146
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,393
You know I'm allergic to vegetables.
You are trying to kill me.

147
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,391
Excuse me.

148
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,512
- (Slams plates down)
- What's the matter with him?

149
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,750
His energy centres are misaligned.

150
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,879
- Oh, Christ!
- And you're feeling like this because...

151
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,509
I feel like this because he never thinks
of anyone but himself.

152
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,673
- Fran, I've made something for you.
- Oh, Manny.

153
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,274
It's your favourite - rum and chocolate.

154
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,677
- Oh...
- Oh, yes, kissy-kissy. Ugh.

155
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,159
I can't really have any.

156
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,277
- I'm avoiding all stimulants.
- Oh, listen to you!

157
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,591
You're becoming one of them,
going to the other side.

158
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,434
The land of sandals, spoon-benders
and yogurt-fanciers.

159
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,035
Everybody farts a lot
because they don't know how to laugh.

160
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,509
Everyone should meditate.

161
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,273
Oh, let's, then we can all make some tofu

162
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,033
for the dolphins who live in the fridge.

163
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,317
Fran is trying to improve her life,
you could support her.

164
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,916
It's shite. Like the Freud.
How did you price that rubbish?

165
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,719
I didn't. I was... (Kicks table)... cooking!

166
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:12,191
How very convenient to leave
all the back-breaking labour to me.

167
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,918
Yoga. Freud. (Scoffs)

168
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,718
Fran, I need to talk to you.

169
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,394
He treats me like a child. I can't cope.

170
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,631
He eats all the sweets,
he says they'll make my hair fall out.

171
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,950
I found a baby monitor under my bed.

172
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,191
- We'll sort it out right now.
- What will we do?

173
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,714
- Close your eyes.
- God, Fran...

174
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,758
(Fran) And keep them closed.
Take a deep breath.

175
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,673
Stick out your tongue and roll your head.

176
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,512
Ahhh-uhhh.

177
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,431
Bluhhh...

178
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,478
"The psychopathology
of the inverted sociopath."

179
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,630
(Continues droning)

180
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,234
This is all about him.

181
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,318
Mania.

182
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,876
And relax. Now fold your arms.

183
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,030
And sway them gently.

184
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,479
That's it.

185
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,554
Mother complex.

186
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,915
He's got the lot!

187
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,077
OK, and raise your head...

188
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,754
and open your eyes.

189
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,477
- Now, doesn't that feel better?
- Yes.

190
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,712
But he's becoming impossible.
Look, he hasn't left anything for us.

191
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,552
(Belches)

192
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,152
(# Whistling merrily)

193
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,796
- Breakfast!
- What?

194
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,838
Ow! (Groaning)

195
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,559
- What's happened? What is it?
- (Stammering)

196
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,870
- Hang on.
- (Screams)

197
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,439
Take that one, oh, erm... Vitamin C?

198
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,750
- Ow!
- Nasal spray?

199
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,990
Fungicide.

200
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,356
What's this?

201
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,595
Why did you do that?

202
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,399
- So you could use the towel.
- Oh, you're insane.

203
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,471
Get out.

204
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,314
Jam.

205
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,432
According to Freud it's dangerous
even to be in the same room as you.

206
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,910
We'll have to replace
all our cutlery with plastic.

207
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,798
And then I want to get you
electronically tagged.

208
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,633
Bernard, pass the butter, please.

209
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,233
- This?
- No, that.

210
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,754
- What did you say?
- I said, "No, that."

211
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,673
You said, "No, Dad."

212
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,916
There you go again, projecting.

213
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,675
I wish I'd never bought the stupid books.
I'm not projecting.

214
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,671
I've never seen such projecting.

215
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,196
It's in CinemaScope
with Dolby Surround.

216
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,635
You're deranged. You need help.

217
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,392
- I'm normal.
- Normal?

218
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,950
What other grown man
makes soldiers for his runny egg

219
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,474
and then divides them into rank?

220
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,232
- Just a bit of fun.
- Yeah?

221
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,630
- So I can eat this one?
- Don't touch the colonel!

222
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,712
It'll upset the rest of the men.

223
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,756
Call a shrink, you're nuts.

224
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,916
And so is your whole platoon.

225
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,315
(# New age)

226
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,756
- (Eva) Breathe in.
- (Laboured rasp)

227
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,796
- And breathe out.
- (Heavy rasp)

228
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,032
And come down. (Exhales deeply)

229
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,838
And then raise your hands up
and say, "Hello!"

230
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,593
- To the sun.
- (Strained) Hello, sun.

231
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,558
- You don't actually say it.
- It's not even sunny.

232
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,278
(Exhales sharply)

233
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,873
Hey...

234
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,757
do you fancy some toast?

235
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,478
Wheat is poison.

236
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,199
I can't believe you had chocolate.

237
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,872
You didn't have meat, did you?

238
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,713
No! No, no, no, no.

239
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,633
Well, just a little bit of chicken.

240
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,517
And a few specks of lamb.

241
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,797
Fran, we're going to have to fix you.

242
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,792
Your chakras will be all clogged.

243
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,474
- (Inhales sharply)
- Eva, do you, erm...

244
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,472
- do you ever get a bit bored...
- (Exhales sharply)

245
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,358
...erm... f-feeling this good all the time?

246
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,311
I'm going to ignore that.

247
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,951
That's the toxins in you talking.
Come on, I'll centre your yang.

248
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,598
Ah, right. How about a special treat?

249
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,035
Is it that carrot thing again?

250
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,509
Come on.
I'm not a total killjoy, you know.

251
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,559
You sit tight and I'll rustle us up
some naughty rice cakes.

252
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,748
Here we are. Yummy!

253
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,590
(# Humming cheerily)

254
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,792
(Chuckles)

255
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,238
(# Hums The Stripper)

256
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,795
(Stops humming)

257
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,790
- What are you doing?
- Stripping the chicken.

258
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,555
- What for?
- I could make soup, salad, sandwiches.

259
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,428
Or a chicken cravat but it's just hassle.
We'll get a takeaway.

260
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,353
- Loads I could do with this.
- It's a chicken!

261
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,271
Chicken is finite.

262
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,193
You've got to move on.
What if somebody dies?

263
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,795
- I'll use the legs. It's thrifty.
- It's disgusting.

264
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,997
This is how Jeffrey Dahmer
and that lot get started.

265
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,390
You can't let go. Old boxes
of fried chicken lying around.

266
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,074
Then a friend says,
"I have to leave town," and...

267
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,118
(Imitates chainsaw)
Out with the Black & Decker.

268
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,589
Bits of him lying around like nibbles.

269
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,114
- You've got to see a shrink.
- Have a wing.

270
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,918
It's crunchy.

271
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,032
Can't you see you're not right?

272
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,830
(Inhaling and exhaling)

273
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,638
So I made him an appointment.

274
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:07,271
Can you imagine what the analyst
is finding in that horrible head of his?

275
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,918
(Stops exhaling abruptly)

276
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:17,151
If you two could do something relaxing
together things wouldn't be so tense.

277
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,391
What? Every time we bicker
we should have sex?

278
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,233
Just have a drink and be yourself again.

279
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:27,438
So what's it's like, then?
Fags and booze?

280
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:31,115
To be honest,
after years of smoking and drinking

281
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,714
you do sometimes
look at yourself and think...

282
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,119
Yep.

283
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,795
In between the first cigarette
with coffee in the morning

284
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,156
to that 400th glass
of corner-shop piss at 3am,

285
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,834
you do sometimes
look at yourself and think...

286
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,115
Yep.

287
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,879
"This is fantastic.

288
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,757
"I'm in heaven."

289
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,358
Obviously, I'm very grateful
for the job, erm...

290
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,194
and I don't think
he's fundamentally a bad person...

291
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,034
Well, I suppose he might be.

292
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,759
I mean, it's not a bad life after all.

293
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,752
Obviously, there's the cooking,
the cleaning,

294
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,549
doing the accounts,
making the cheese, scraping the beds.

295
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,393
But you know, l-I'm happy, really.

296
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,235
Yes, you're right, you're right.
I'm being exploited.

297
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,153
(Sighs) It's about self-respect, isn't it?

298
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,917
Isn't it?

299
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,312
Exactly! Exactly.
I must stand my ground.

300
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,358
Brilliant. Thank you so much
for your help.

301
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,715
Cheque all right?

302
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,469
The service in this place.
Erm, excuse me...

303
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,551
Sorry, excu-excu...

304
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,598
- Is something wrong with me?
- Hm.

305
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,398
(Authoritatively) Service.

306
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,596
(Silence falls)

307
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,639
Yes, sir?

308
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,111
- Two cappuccinos, chocolate cake.
- Straightaway, sir.

309
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,716
- Wow.
- This therapy might have helped.

310
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,759
- You are the king!
- There is a touch of the king.

311
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,993
On the house, sir. Sorry for the delay.

312
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,996
- King of kings!
- (Chuckles)

313
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,277
When the other kings don't know
what to do they call you.

314
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:42,591
The royal line does ring
from time to time.

315
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,830
- Oh, won't he be surprised?
- Who?

316
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,229
- Bernard.
- Oh, yes.

317
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,795
Him.

318
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,034
Where have you been?

319
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,429
- Talking to me?
- You look different. Are you on steroids?

320
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,637
What are you talking about,
you silly little man?

321
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,711
Now, look here...

322
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,156
Shouldn't you be serving
a customer or something?

323
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:24,279
And isn't it about time
you had a really good scrub?

324
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,830
It's not my fault I look like this.
You haven't washed my things.

325
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,230
Ah. We can't blame others
for our appearance, can we?

326
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,959
No, no, no, but...

327
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,272
I suggest you wash your own socks,
if you can chisel them out of your shoes.

328
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:42,148
I'm going for a nap
and I don't want to be disturbed.

329
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,199
How dare you speak to me like that!
My own son.

330
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,750
What did you say?

331
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,594
Nothing. Nothing.

332
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,112
It's as Freud says.
You know, the unconscious thing.

333
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,794
Superego, something, something...

334
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,677
That's exactly what he's like.

335
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,393
It's not as if he's never rewarded.

336
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,789
Maybe not in any material way...

337
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,474
or any other way, but still.

338
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,236
I may have been a little hard on him.

339
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,355
But he leaves boxes in the hall!
I nearly tripped and...

340
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,278
Yes, yes, I'm a monster,
I know, it's not his fault,

341
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,759
I'm a terrible bastard.

342
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,559
Yes, right, thanks for your help, bye.

343
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:43,233
One complete set of Freud,
£200, thank you.

344
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,320
- (Door opens and closes)
- Manny?

345
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,755
Your wages. Sorry they're late.

346
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,628
Oh, thanks. Er, I was just going
to get us some lunch.

347
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,234
No, no. I've done that.

348
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,148
- That's awfully kind of you.
- Manny!

349
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,755
It's nothing.
You're welcome, it's nothing.

350
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,393
Wa-hey!

351
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:15,031
Go on! Give him a kiss! Go on!

352
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,314
- You're pissed.
- (Giggles)

353
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,356
Yeah, I know.

354
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,792
Come on, open the bootle.

355
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,070
What? What are you looking at? Oh, oh...

356
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,435
I cracked, didn't I?

357
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,672
Eva said I had to give up milk and peas
and God knows what.

358
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,354
What's wrong with fucking peas?

359
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,115
I told her she could
stuff it up her chakras.

360
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,760
And now she's not talking to me.

361
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,479
Come on, open the bloody wine.

362
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,437
Go on, Manny, get a move on.

363
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,953
- Please.
- What?

364
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,156
Wouldn't kill you to say please.

365
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,118
You know what,
I'm going to have you spayed.

366
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,192
Go on, Manny, resign. Again. Go on.

367
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,398
- I am. I resign.
- I've had enough, I'm going out.

368
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,155
Yeah, go on, I'll mind the shop for you.
I can be both of you.

369
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,915
"Bernard, Bernard, it's not fair.
Bernard, here's your tea.

370
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,434
"Oh, Bernard,
can I have my pocket money?"

371
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,638
"Oh, Manny, for the last time, shut up!

372
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,269
"Mother of God,
I think I'm going to kill ya."

373
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,475
- Now, that is mad.
- (Belches)