1
00:00:33,807 --> 00:00:35,798
- Manny.
- Hm.

2
00:00:36,407 --> 00:00:38,523
- Manny.
- Hm.

3
00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:42,401
- (Sighs) Manny.
- Ah-ah.

4
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,156
What time is it? Can we close up yet?

5
00:00:51,687 --> 00:00:54,759
Hey, you're still open. It's Friday night.

6
00:00:54,807 --> 00:00:58,800
Friday night? We should have
been closed hours ago.

7
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:04,321
Time to get out of these work clothes.

8
00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,927
Look, Bernard, look at my new phone.

9
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:11,040
It's got web access, it's got a camera,
it can do everything.

10
00:01:11,087 --> 00:01:16,081
- Can it stop boring conversations?
- No, none of them can do that.

11
00:01:16,127 --> 00:01:18,721
Mine can. Shut up about your phone.

12
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:24,196
I think tonight's
gonna be something special.

13
00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:28,240
- We should open our best bottle.
- Not the £4.49!

14
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:33,919
Tonight's the night. This is
the stuff Napoleon would have drunk

15
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:38,199
if he'd been a bit strapped
and he couldn't get anything else.

16
00:01:39,047 --> 00:01:41,880
Mm. Mm! Audacious.

17
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,600
Mm. Look at the robe on that.

18
00:01:45,687 --> 00:01:48,485
Mm. (Sniffs) Ah, strawberry notes.

19
00:01:48,527 --> 00:01:51,519
I'm getting caramel, I'm getting bitumen.

20
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,597
I'm getting red wine up my nose!

21
00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:57,962
Notice anything different about me?

22
00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:03,482
You've turned into a heron.

23
00:02:04,727 --> 00:02:06,718
No.

24
00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:11,595
Wait a minute, I've got it.
Your ears are bigger.

25
00:02:11,647 --> 00:02:15,003
My hair! Isn't it perfect? Aren't I divine?

26
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,277
I'm more me than I've ever been.

27
00:02:17,327 --> 00:02:20,205
I can't believe you didn't notice.

28
00:02:20,247 --> 00:02:24,604
Men have a different way of noticing
hair. Which is not noticing it.

29
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:28,518
Gianni, my stylist,
only charged me 85 quid.

30
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:32,401
My stylist is free.
He's called Manicio.

31
00:02:32,447 --> 00:02:35,166
I do it with a bread knife. Zip, zip, zip.

32
00:02:35,687 --> 00:02:39,316
- I'm feeling a bit top-heavy.
- Ahh.

33
00:02:40,407 --> 00:02:43,285
Mm. Mm. S...

34
00:02:51,287 --> 00:02:53,482
Mm. (Trills)

35
00:02:57,127 --> 00:03:00,563
Why am I here,
wasting my hair on your eyes?

36
00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:03,599
I should be getting slavishly admired.

37
00:03:03,647 --> 00:03:07,481
Ah, but you will.
Because tonight... we go out.

38
00:03:07,527 --> 00:03:09,995
- Why?
- Cos it's Friday.

39
00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,083
It's Friday night.

40
00:03:12,127 --> 00:03:16,166
It was Friday night last week
and it'll be Friday night every week

41
00:03:16,207 --> 00:03:20,405
until we're dead and even then the
whole, rotten business will go on.

42
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:24,156
But it's Friday now
and we're here, young, alive.

43
00:03:24,207 --> 00:03:27,643
- He's right. We should go out.
- What are the options?

44
00:03:27,687 --> 00:03:30,201
- Erm... cinema.
- No smoking.

45
00:03:30,247 --> 00:03:32,636
- Bowling.
- Can't do the shoe thing.

46
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,925
- Theatre.
- (AII laugh)

47
00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:47,165
What about a restaurant?
We could try Yo! Liver.

48
00:03:48,647 --> 00:03:51,286
- I know of a party.
- What party?

49
00:03:51,327 --> 00:03:55,320
- My friends John and Ann. Teachers.
- What's the place like?

50
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:58,120
Big kitchen/living room. Friendly place.

51
00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:03,721
Right. So, it's a fridge-centred
25 to 40s party.

52
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:07,237
Chilli-shaped fairy lights,
beer in the bath.

53
00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:10,199
Lots of yuppies, dinkies and yummies.

54
00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:14,286
Lively fun but it won't
get out of hand. Yes, I'm listening.

55
00:04:14,327 --> 00:04:17,080
- My hair says, "Go, baby!"
- Yes!

56
00:04:17,127 --> 00:04:19,960
- Sounds awful. How far is it?
- Two minutes.

57
00:04:20,007 --> 00:04:23,682
Too far. We're not going.
We've got all we need here.

58
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:26,799
Oh, that means it's just us three again.

59
00:04:28,487 --> 00:04:32,241
- We could sit in the garden.
- (Both) Garden?

60
00:04:32,287 --> 00:04:36,166
There's a garden out the back.
I'm sure it's still there.

61
00:04:36,207 --> 00:04:38,198
Come on.

62
00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:53,718
(Traffic humming)

63
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:01,278
Right, so you don't want
to sit in the garden.

64
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:04,603
We'll just have a nice glass of wine, OK?

65
00:05:07,647 --> 00:05:09,956
There's more here somewhere.

66
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:14,156
Ooh, no. No, there isn't, Bernard.

67
00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:17,323
Friday night, no booze.

68
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,801
Crisis. What can we do?

69
00:05:19,847 --> 00:05:24,159
I know, we'll go to the party.
That's what we'll do!

70
00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:29,325
I am picking up a certain keenness
from you about this party.

71
00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:32,916
- There's no other reason to go?
- Absolutely not.

72
00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:36,164
- Except there is a... girl.
- A what?

73
00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:40,440
Girl. She's gonna be there.

74
00:05:40,487 --> 00:05:43,957
I've met her before
and I was hoping to meet her again.

75
00:05:44,007 --> 00:05:46,316
We don't have to wait for Bernard.

76
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:50,485
It has to be all three.
If I go with you and get talking to her,

77
00:05:50,527 --> 00:05:55,317
then you'll be hovering, hovering.
And a girl gets awkward, awkward.

78
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:59,440
Because she thinks that
you and I are a thing, thing.

79
00:05:59,487 --> 00:06:04,607
But all three of us go, then I catch
her eye, peel off, natural, natural.

80
00:06:05,687 --> 00:06:08,042
We need Bernard to get to my person.

81
00:06:08,087 --> 00:06:12,478
You know I don't approve
of you seeing other girls... people.

82
00:06:12,527 --> 00:06:14,757
Who is she, this so-called person?

83
00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:18,480
Rowena. She's a friend of Ann's.

84
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:22,122
Oh, I see. Ro-weena.

85
00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:25,438
Ro-weeena.

86
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:30,397
(Farting noise)
And what am I supposed to do

87
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:34,520
when you do the underpants-Charleston
with this insane, blind tart?

88
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,637
Why are you so angry?

89
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:41,238
- I always get angry when I'm furious.
- It's no big deal.

90
00:06:41,287 --> 00:06:45,439
Before you move to the country
to raise your bearded freak circus...

91
00:06:46,487 --> 00:06:49,559
What's she like?
What are her prospects?

92
00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:51,996
- She's nice.
- Oh, she's nice?

93
00:06:52,047 --> 00:06:55,119
Don't make me get sick
into my own scorn.

94
00:06:56,327 --> 00:07:00,445
Does she play the viola? Embroider?
Is she kind to the servants?

95
00:07:01,727 --> 00:07:05,800
I just know that I like her.
And there's a chance she likes me.

96
00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:09,635
- That's all.
- Right, we are going to this party.

97
00:07:09,687 --> 00:07:13,157
Cos I'm trying to picture
this girl who likes you.

98
00:07:13,207 --> 00:07:16,563
And all I can see is you in a dress.

99
00:07:17,487 --> 00:07:21,480
- Come on, come on.
- Oh, oh, wait. We can't go yet.

100
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:24,519
- (Both) Why?
- I need my kit.

101
00:07:26,807 --> 00:07:29,719
Kazoo. Snuff.

102
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,758
Thimbles. Amulet.

103
00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:35,004
Swabs. Plums.

104
00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:40,360
It's things to accidentally
leave behind, near to Rowena.

105
00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:43,922
She'll find them later
and I can ring her up.

106
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:47,846
Can't you just ring and say,
"I'd like to see you again"?

107
00:07:47,887 --> 00:07:51,926
Don't be stupid.
I don't want her to think I'm gay.

108
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,839
- Can we go now?
- Yeah. Let's par...

109
00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:02,846
Don't you dare you the word "party"
as a verb in this shop!

110
00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:11,486
Let's p... otter along
in order to attend the party.

111
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:15,401
- Fran, get the wine.
- Sure.

112
00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:17,438
What? Lies! Subterfuge!

113
00:08:17,487 --> 00:08:19,762
Seething corruption!

114
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:31,718
(Drunken singing, crashing about)

115
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:34,406
(Man) Oi! You lot! Be quiet!

116
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,563
(AIl) Shut up!

117
00:08:36,607 --> 00:08:40,680
(Bernard) Is it here?
(Fran) No. Here. You live... here.

118
00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:43,082
(Bernard) The key won't go in the thing!

119
00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:47,803
- Bernard, you're using your finger.
- Oh, yeah.

120
00:08:54,727 --> 00:08:59,676
- My hair. Is my hair still good?
- Yeah, you're a vision.

121
00:09:00,727 --> 00:09:03,719
See? I told you about hair power.

122
00:09:03,767 --> 00:09:07,726
Three blokes put their phone numbers
into my new phone.

123
00:09:08,567 --> 00:09:10,558
Look.

124
00:09:12,847 --> 00:09:14,838
I'm dancing.

125
00:09:16,287 --> 00:09:19,723
- Why aren't you dancing?
- There's no music.

126
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,327
Sing us a song, then. You're Irish.

127
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:27,076
That's what the Irish do
after a drink, isn't it?

128
00:09:27,127 --> 00:09:29,277
What would I sing?

129
00:09:29,327 --> 00:09:33,366
Mm... something about cliffs
and a girl with golden black hair.

130
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,637
And the English all being bad.

131
00:09:35,687 --> 00:09:38,645
- Sing it yourself.
- Fine.

132
00:09:40,207 --> 00:09:44,325
# Oh, Eamonn, Danny dear

133
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:48,155
- # I miss the Galway Bay
- (# Generic Irish tune)

134
00:09:48,207 --> 00:09:52,325
# And I'll sing for all I got

135
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:55,962
# And a riddle-diddle Dublin
and a riddle-diddle Donegal

136
00:09:56,007 --> 00:10:01,764
# The English are all bollocks #

137
00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:06,599
Oh, no. This is no good,
we need proper music.

138
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:09,207
Let's have a dancing competition.

139
00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:12,603
I'll go first and then it's you, Manny, OK?

140
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,486
(# Motorhead: The Ace Of Spades)

141
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,956
'# Pushing up the ante
I know you got to see me

142
00:10:23,007 --> 00:10:27,125
- # Read 'em and weep... #
- I'm going next. That's rubbish.

143
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:30,557
I saw you at the party -
you embarrassed us.

144
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:34,316
- I'll have you any day.
- You can't do this.

145
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:38,155
# The ace of spades
the ace of spades #

146
00:10:38,207 --> 00:10:40,880
Why would I want to do that?

147
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:43,919
Why would I want to when I can do this?

148
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,158
(Music stops)

149
00:10:56,927 --> 00:11:01,682
- (Coughs and splutters)
- Oh...

150
00:11:02,607 --> 00:11:05,201
(Fran) Oh...

151
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:09,445
Oh! What is this... I'm drinking?
It's disgu...

152
00:11:09,487 --> 00:11:13,400
It's like a choc ice
fell into a bottle of bleach.

153
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:18,246
It's children's booze! What's yours?

154
00:11:20,407 --> 00:11:25,435
Bludge. It's quite good, actually.
You don't even have to drink it.

155
00:11:25,487 --> 00:11:29,719
You just rub it on your hips and
it eats right through to your liver.

156
00:11:30,807 --> 00:11:35,756
- Manny, what's yours?
- Delicio's beetroot liqueur.

157
00:11:36,847 --> 00:11:41,796
- Give us a bit. Swap, come on.
- No. It's mine!

158
00:11:41,847 --> 00:11:45,601
Manny, don't be a baby.
It sounds nice. Pour some.

159
00:11:45,647 --> 00:11:48,605
I'll have one with ice and on fire.

160
00:11:48,647 --> 00:11:51,639
- Come on.
- It's mine. It's all mine!

161
00:11:51,687 --> 00:11:55,396
- I'm gonna get blind drunk.
- Don't be silly.

162
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:58,120
- You'll regret it tomorrow.
- No!

163
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:01,000
Why are you always
bringing the mood down?

164
00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:04,039
I didn't wanna leave that party,
it was great.

165
00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:08,285
No, it wasn't! The music
was too loud, the food was cold.

166
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,682
The drinks were few
and the people many.

167
00:12:10,727 --> 00:12:13,844
It was everything I expected.
And less.

168
00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:20,443
I'm never going outside again
unless I need someplace to throw up.

169
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:24,803
Anyway, you got your chance with her.
What did you talk about?

170
00:12:24,847 --> 00:12:27,407
Offshore wind farms.

171
00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:33,237
I couldn't think of anything else.

172
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:37,280
Never mind. I'm sure you left
a bunsen burner behind.

173
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:40,000
You can get it tomorrow and propose.

174
00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:43,926
No! I couldn't find
the right moment to plant anything.

175
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:48,563
She kept following me around, in
the kitchen, the bedroom, bathroom.

176
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:52,600
Every time I put something down,
"You dropped your kazoo.

177
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,002
"Ooh, you got snuff on your plums."

178
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:58,798
A total waste of time.

179
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:04,240
Frankly, you're doomed.
You and all the shy people are.

180
00:13:04,287 --> 00:13:07,916
Natural selection
favours the loud and aggressive.

181
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:12,916
I don't mean this in a bad way
but genetically you are... a cul-de-sac.

182
00:13:14,047 --> 00:13:17,926
OK. OK, I tried.
All right? It didn't work.

183
00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:22,006
At least I tried to make
a connection with another person.

184
00:13:22,047 --> 00:13:25,403
When have you ever done that? Eh?

185
00:13:25,447 --> 00:13:30,760
Exactly. You don't actually have a heart,
Bernard. Just a shard of ice.

186
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:33,560
- Flint.
- Sorry?

187
00:13:33,607 --> 00:13:36,997
Flint. I always saw it as a piece of flint.

188
00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:40,357
Oh. You don't see yourself as a human.

189
00:13:40,407 --> 00:13:44,844
You... you... you're some kind of
superior species, aren't you?

190
00:13:44,887 --> 00:13:50,325
Homo Bernardus. Scorning every fool
who believes in happiness.

191
00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:53,803
Manny, shush.
This is the beetroot talking.

192
00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:56,604
You don't know what love is.

193
00:13:56,647 --> 00:13:59,366
You don't un... You don't know!

194
00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:04,796
- I had a girlfriend. She died.
- And anyway... What?

195
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:07,839
That's right. Her name was Emma.

196
00:14:07,887 --> 00:14:11,596
Somebody you barely know
knocked you back. Big deal.

197
00:14:11,647 --> 00:14:13,956
I should be living with her by now.

198
00:14:14,007 --> 00:14:17,841
Instead, every morning
I look through my cornflakes

199
00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:21,277
to see your big,
mad, snaggle-toothed head.

200
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:25,639
So excuse me if I'm a bit...
out of sorts sometimes.

201
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,399
Would you like some beetroot liqueur?

202
00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:37,042
You can have it.
You can have the whole bottle.

203
00:14:37,087 --> 00:14:40,716
Really, I mean it.
You can have nearly all of it.

204
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:45,204
- Whoa! Don't go mad.
- I don't feel like a drink, anyway.

205
00:14:45,247 --> 00:14:47,602
I'm making tea. Who wants tea?

206
00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:54,765
That is the saddest story I've ever heard.
Poor Bernard.

207
00:14:54,807 --> 00:14:56,798
The worst part of it is...

208
00:14:56,847 --> 00:15:00,476
She isn't actually dead.
She lives the other side of Priory Road.

209
00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:04,038
What?

210
00:15:04,087 --> 00:15:07,363
Bernard told me about her
three years ago.

211
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:12,003
A year after that, I started doing
this exercise class run by a clown.

212
00:15:12,047 --> 00:15:15,960
- Yeah?
- Circusise, it was called.

213
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:20,676
We had to wear
these really, really big shoes.

214
00:15:20,727 --> 00:15:23,321
So the step stuff was really hard.

215
00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:25,517
It was like this. It went...

216
00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:28,035
(Honks) Two, three, four.

217
00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:30,442
(Honks) Two, three, four.

218
00:15:30,487 --> 00:15:32,876
And throw the bucket of water.

219
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:36,397
- (Honks) Two, three...
- Yeah, Fran, Fran.

220
00:15:36,447 --> 00:15:40,122
- Try to stick to the story.
- Oh, right. Yeah.

221
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:45,116
Afterwards, we'd go for a pizza.
One time, we talked about boyfriends.

222
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:48,443
This girl, she says
that she once got engaged

223
00:15:48,487 --> 00:15:51,001
to this awful Irish guy...

224
00:15:51,807 --> 00:15:53,957
called...

225
00:15:57,527 --> 00:16:01,520
Bernard. The only way
she could think of getting out of it

226
00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:04,843
was to get her friends
to say she was dead.

227
00:16:09,207 --> 00:16:13,644
- But she wasn't... dead?
- No, Manny.

228
00:16:13,687 --> 00:16:18,203
Which is why she was having
a pepperoni with extra cheese...

229
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,283
years later.

230
00:16:21,327 --> 00:16:25,764
- Why haven't you told Bernard?
- Oh, I couldn't deal with all that.

231
00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:30,722
Can you imagine? All the shouting
and the blaming. No, be very messy.

232
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:33,759
No, now, listen. Oi, you don't tell him.

233
00:16:33,807 --> 00:16:36,367
- Don't you ever tell him.
- No.

234
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:40,320
- No, Manny, I mean it.
- I won't. I won't do it.

235
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:44,201
- Not even in ten or even 20 years.
- No, no way.

236
00:16:44,247 --> 00:16:47,683
- No, no.
- What about a nice game of Monopoly?

237
00:16:47,727 --> 00:16:50,446
Oh, yeah, that is a good idea.

238
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:54,275
Yeah. Yeah. OK, all right.
Here we go.

239
00:16:54,327 --> 00:17:00,197
So, OK, Fran, you be the hat.
I'll be the dog and, Bernard, you...

240
00:17:00,247 --> 00:17:02,636
She's alive! Bernard, she's alive!

241
00:17:06,327 --> 00:17:10,081
Fran told me. Fran knows her!
Ask her. Ask Fran.

242
00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:17,323
Emma lives in London.

243
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:19,756
Still. I'm sorry, Bernard.

244
00:17:20,727 --> 00:17:24,197
- So, you're saying she must have...
- Yeah.

245
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,078
I don't believe you.

246
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,035
Well, look. She's in my phone.

247
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:34,767
That's her full name, isn't it?

248
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:38,001
I... I still don't believe you.

249
00:17:41,847 --> 00:17:44,759
That's her and me at her last birthday.

250
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:49,162
One of the many she'll have,
still being alive.

251
00:17:51,407 --> 00:17:53,557
Her dental records.

252
00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:56,318
It can't be her!

253
00:17:57,887 --> 00:18:00,242
OK. Here's her birth certificate.

254
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:04,280
I keep it safely inside
the envelope with the photo of her

255
00:18:04,327 --> 00:18:06,682
reading yesterday's newspaper,

256
00:18:06,727 --> 00:18:09,116
wearing an "I love life" T-shirt.

257
00:18:11,847 --> 00:18:15,522
So. So... house rules as usual.

258
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:18,923
Fines in the middle.
If we throw three doubles...

259
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:23,404
- How long have you known this?
- Couple of years. Does it matter?

260
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:26,007
Oh! We all want Pall Mall, don't we?

261
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,677
- Who else knows?
- Nobody. Hardly anybody.

262
00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:32,718
A few people.

263
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:36,999
Mr Singh at the newsagent's.
Oh, and your parents, I told them.

264
00:18:37,047 --> 00:18:40,926
And I tell people at parties
if your name comes up.

265
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:44,118
Well, maybe I know
a few things about you.

266
00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:48,638
- Maybe I've got a few little facts.
- I've thrown a seven! Beat that.

267
00:18:49,927 --> 00:18:54,557
Manny doesn't know what name you
were born with. Have you met Enid?

268
00:18:54,607 --> 00:18:58,077
N... Don't let's go down this road.

269
00:18:58,127 --> 00:19:02,200
The letter you wrote to your mother
as part of the self-help programme?

270
00:19:02,247 --> 00:19:04,807
You couldn't find it. I posted it.

271
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:11,440
Manny, you did get into
the Open University.

272
00:19:11,487 --> 00:19:14,718
But Bernard tore up the letter.

273
00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:22,404
I read your personal ad, I saw that.

274
00:19:22,447 --> 00:19:25,120
"Intelligent, funny, 30-something female

275
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:28,716
"seeks solvent man for sex
and possible friendship.

276
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,803
"Sense of humour irrelevant."

277
00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:34,565
- I've been reading your short stories.
- That's different.

278
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,440
Ah, but it's good. Listen to this.

279
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:40,001
"Feared by men and admired by women,

280
00:19:40,047 --> 00:19:43,926
"Brendan Blake turned
from the window and patted Larry,

281
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,356
"his barely hominoid, milk-fed gimp."

282
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:55,804
You went to the party looking like that.

283
00:19:55,847 --> 00:19:57,883
(Screams)

284
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,875
I think that covers everything.

285
00:20:06,047 --> 00:20:08,242
- Hello?
- Rowena!

286
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:11,277
Hi. Hi.

287
00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:13,682
- Hi.
- Hi.

288
00:20:13,727 --> 00:20:16,480
We were talking at the party.

289
00:20:16,527 --> 00:20:19,360
- Yes, hi, hi.
- Hi.

290
00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:23,082
- And you left something behind.
- Did I?

291
00:20:23,927 --> 00:20:26,316
You were drinking out of this.

292
00:20:26,367 --> 00:20:29,564
I thought maybe
you wanted to keep the cup.

293
00:20:29,607 --> 00:20:33,839
So I asked Ann where you lived and...
But you're busy.

294
00:20:33,887 --> 00:20:37,436
- I'm sorry. I'm stupid.
- No, no, no.

295
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,478
Thanks for bringing it.

296
00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:44,806
I'm really, really pleased
that you came round... with... it.

297
00:20:45,607 --> 00:20:47,802
Oh, for Christ's sake!

298
00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:53,960
Well... thanks. Thanks.
I'll just put that there.

299
00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:55,998
Safe and sound.

300
00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:01,641
So... Erm...

301
00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:06,002
- That's about it, really.
- Right. Right.

302
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:09,881
Well, th... thanks for...
er, bringing it round.

303
00:21:09,927 --> 00:21:12,202
Offer her something, you fool.

304
00:21:12,247 --> 00:21:16,525
Oh. Oh. S-Seeing as you're here,
would you like some tea or coffee?

305
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:19,001
Or Bovril? Or a herbal coffee?

306
00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:21,641
- Tea's nice.
- Tea! Coming up.

307
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:25,158
I'll help you make it.

308
00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:30,364
- (Giggling)
- (Footsteps going upstairs)

309
00:21:31,087 --> 00:21:33,078
Aah. Good for Manny.

310
00:21:34,607 --> 00:21:39,203
I'm sorry, I should've told you
about Emma but she asked me not to.

311
00:21:39,247 --> 00:21:41,761
I was too good for her, anyway.

312
00:21:42,807 --> 00:21:47,676
She had arms like a stevedore.
Stay and have a drink, will you?

313
00:21:47,727 --> 00:21:50,480
Oh, no, no. I've gotta go home.

314
00:21:50,527 --> 00:21:53,087
I'm not sleeping in the skip again.

315
00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:56,676
I'll just lie down, just to rest my eyes.

316
00:21:57,487 --> 00:21:59,603
I've got a date tomorrow.

317
00:21:59,647 --> 00:22:01,638
I've gotta look nice.

318
00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:06,358
(Snores)

319
00:22:27,407 --> 00:22:30,763
Could I talk with Emma... Oh, it's you. Hi.

320
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:33,799
Yes. That's right. That's right, it's me.

321
00:22:33,847 --> 00:22:37,044
I'm very well, th... Actually, no, I'm dead.

322
00:22:37,887 --> 00:22:42,244
That's right, actually, physically dead.
Not funny now, is it?

323
00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:46,439
I'm haunting you, that's what I'm doing.

324
00:22:46,487 --> 00:22:48,478
Well, why don't you f...

325
00:22:49,287 --> 00:22:52,245
You can't hang up on the undead!

326
00:22:54,967 --> 00:22:57,606
(Manny and Rowena giggling)

327
00:22:58,887 --> 00:23:00,957
Shut up!

328
00:23:12,087 --> 00:23:14,078
Did you want something?

329
00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:18,643
Yes, I want not to hear any
squawking or squeaking or squealing

330
00:23:18,687 --> 00:23:21,679
and if I do
I'll throw you both into the street.

331
00:23:21,727 --> 00:23:23,524
Right.

332
00:23:39,767 --> 00:23:41,758
Nighty-night.

333
00:23:42,567 --> 00:23:44,558
Eh?