Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
Bernard?
- Manny? - (Man) Hold it just there.
What? I haven't done anything!
The door went "Kerjing, kerjing."
- I'm not responsible for the door. - No, I know.
She was very good. Applause, please.
- (Applause and cheering) - Thanks.
I'm not responsible for that.
I think we got the picture.
Bernard, you came second but I put on ea... an each... I... Bern...
I buh I buh I buh...
Beans. No, that's not the word. It's "there", isn't it?
He was told twice to say the word "there".
The more they asked him to say it, the more he decided to say "beans".
Everything's fine, Manny, you're all ready.
- You did wash behind your ears? - Ye... No!
- "I know a few things about you." - OK, energy, energy.
Well, maybe I... We're not ready. I've got energy now.
Manny! There's no need to flinch. You're safe now.
(Giggles)
So, what's he like, then, this overgrown schoolboy
who obviously nobody's... I'll go over there for a bit.
- Colleague... - (Man) It was very good till then.
You must have a lot to talk about.
We'll go in the other room with a brandy.
That was complete bollocks. What do I...?
(Man) And three, two, one.
Hold it just there.
You think I've made the right decision. You're giving me that look.
Sort of wryly disgu... Aah...
(Man) Hold it there, folks.
Later, baby.
(Chuckles)
It looks easy, doesn't it, opening a door?
No coffee-housing, no auntie's drawers, minimum raise...
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Stick around. We'll talk it after over.
Or... we'll talk it over after. Depends how you feel. All right?
- Ready? - Yeah.
Good.
Stick around and we'll talk it after over.
Somebody will be here very soon.
Oh, God. Sorry, I slipped on the way in.
I fucked up my entrance. My God.
I'll never clean a f... (Laughs) Jesus Christ!
Somebody will be here very soon.
- Hello. - She's Fran.
- Hey, you... - Oh...
Back off, Bailey.
- Simon's... - Sorry, Simon. I do apologise.
That's all right.
Thought you were gonna slip over or something.
(Coughs)
(Splutters)
(Coughs) Ah, fuck a monkey!
You fucker.
I'm gonna have a heart attack before I get cancer.
Mmm.
- (Coughs) - (Man) Are you all right?
I haven't smoked in seven years. (Laughs)
It's like a shot from the catalogues.
- Wwwwwww... - (Man) Stand by and... action.
The plot's interesting.
Men have a different way of noticing appearance. Which is not noticing.
Manny... Oh, no. Sorry, I've said the wrong word.
- I thought you were my stylist... - Beat her.
- I did such a good job over there. - I wanted to have a go!
Sorry, I shouldn't have said that word.
Mark, change the cast, change the cast!
Every fucking week. In and out, every fucking time.
Scene one, ding-dong, "Oops, sorry."
Ha-ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha-ha.
Sorry. It's the last one, put the boot in. Right.
# I see you, baby, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass
# Shakin' that ass. I see... # Oh, sorry.
Offer her something, you fool.
Well, as you're here, would you like some tea or coffee or... Bovril?
Or, er, ho... her... her... er... er...
All right. Let's get some ideas bouncing around here.
You know, go crazy. I mean, no rules.
Sort of anything goes?
No! Not anything goes! I said "no rules"!
- Come on, hit me. - (Man) Just there, guys.
- What did I do? I hid behind Bill. - (Man) Yeah.
I've got respect and responsibility.
- I've got a do-di-di-do. - (Machine) 'Do-di-di-do.'
I'm a team member.
What?
Just to get some ideas bouncing around here.
- Go crazy... - Yeah, sort of anything goes.
Hm?
- OK. Deep breaths. - (Breathes deeply)
- (Muffled scream) - CALM! CALM! CALM!
You put our money on this circus of death. You disgust me!
Come along, darling. Manny's busy. Let's go.
No, no. Look... we haven't got a chance to catch up completely down...
What the hell am I saying?
- Manny, can we stop the noise? - I'll do it.
- Leave it to me! - I'm dealing with it.
(Laughs)
- Can I help? - I'm looking for a holiday read.
Perhaps these might be... ooh.
(Laughing)
- Manny, can we stop the noise? - I'll do it.
- Leave it to me! - I'm dealing with it.
I'll do it, Jason. Oh!
(Laughs)
We need you to look like this.
(AII laughing)
It's not right! That's not right!
It's me... him.
Who is she anyway, this so-called person?
- Rowena. She's a friend of Ann's. - Oh, I see.
Ro-weena.
Ro-weeena.
(Farting noise)
I'll go. All right?
No, don't go.
You'll mess up the colour scheme.
It's my interview so we have to shut the shop.
- Objection! - I haven't finished.
Who is she anyway, this so-called person?
Rowena. She's a friend of Ann's.
Oh, I see.
Ro-weena.
(Farting noise) Ro-weena.
Sorry!
- A glass of wine and a cigar. - And some canapés up here, please.
- (Woman) Recording. OK, Bill. - Now a triple salchow with pike.
Oh, and this is when your hamster died.
- You tried to be buried with him. - Oh.
- Sorry, "tried to bury yourself..." - Oh, fuck it!
(Cheering and applause)
Things to accidentally leave behind. Near to Rowena.
She'll find them when I've gone and I've got an excuse to ring her.
Can't you just say... Can't you just ring her and say...
- Ohh! - You can't.
(Audience) Aahh!
It'II... it'll be ready soon. It's on now.
The ke... I put the kettle on.
So it won't be, you know, long or anything.
Take me now!