1
00:01:57,085 --> 00:02:02,063
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in nasty situations.'
2
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,294
'Let's play Botherguts!'
3
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,429
'Come on!
4
00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:15,438
'Three, two, one!
5
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,939
'Go!
6
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:24,052
'Chuck her a bun!
7
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,659
'Not hungry?! That's a first?!
8
00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:34,138
'Come on!
9
00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:42,399
'That'd hurt!
10
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:48,419
Brilliant!
11
00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:02,497
Fucking brilliant, that!
12
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:40,299
That one does that sometimes.
Hang on.
13
00:05:41,472 --> 00:05:44,299
There's a little knob
in here somewhere.
14
00:05:46,574 --> 00:05:48,688
Almost the only real thing in there,
15
00:05:48,704 --> 00:05:50,959
and even that's grown
in a Petri dish.
16
00:05:52,175 --> 00:05:53,481
Thank you.
17
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,817
'Licking my pussy.'
18
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,060
For Christ's sake!
19
00:06:43,824 --> 00:06:46,859
Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut!
Cheers for the reflection!
20
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:49,676
One minute I'm in slitsville,
the next there's a haunted pig
21
00:06:49,689 --> 00:06:53,129
gawping at me. They may as well
have cut to a war crime!
22
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:55,892
Oi!
23
00:07:00,156 --> 00:07:01,459
You missed a bit.
24
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,329
Pie ape!
25
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,370
You see that?
26
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,243
Fucking pie ape!
27
00:07:21,044 --> 00:07:23,859
He'll be in lemon
and all before long!
28
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,339
'Selma Telse.'
29
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,017
'Howie Mandelbrot.'
30
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:08,515
'Each headlines their own content on
one of your eight daylight streams.
31
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:12,413
'But they started here, like you.
32
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:15,981
'Putting their back into giving
back for a brighter now.
33
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:22,333
'Each paying their dues like you,
hoping to become a hot shot.'
34
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:32,868
'That wasn't good...
35
00:08:34,859 --> 00:08:38,714
'..that was beyond incredible!'
36
00:08:43,078 --> 00:08:46,735
'You decide the victors,
you control their fates,
37
00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:50,217
'you make the call on Hot Shots.
38
00:09:07,253 --> 00:09:12,612
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situations.
39
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:15,059
'So let's view it.'
40
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,699
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
41
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,939
'Resume viewing.
42
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,499
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
43
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,739
'Resume viewing.'
44
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,007
'You are going to see it all.'
45
00:09:36,427 --> 00:09:39,312
'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL.
46
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:45,535
'Hey, what else were you planning
to do with that hand?'
47
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,099
'You lick my pussy, baby.
48
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,859
'I turn you on!
49
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:55,299
'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello.
50
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,783
'Hi, I'm Evie.'
51
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:18,859
Didn't let him sign in.
52
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:21,148
Told him to report to 22 down.
53
00:11:21,623 --> 00:11:22,966
Told ya!
54
00:11:23,631 --> 00:11:26,143
He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck!
55
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,460
What do you think?
56
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,497
It's a bit much.
57
00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:13,529
Yeah.
58
00:12:21,878 --> 00:12:24,949
'Best thing about my new lifestyle?
Where do I start?
59
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:29,148
'I love choosing my own clothes
and I love gold.
60
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,493
'I feel like it really
expresses who I really am
61
00:12:33,064 --> 00:12:35,379
'and I love looking over outside.
62
00:12:35,618 --> 00:12:38,819
'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just
wish that everyone could see it.'
63
00:12:38,944 --> 00:12:40,654
Nice outfit
64
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,939
Suits you.
65
00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:49,489
'Well, honesty is ruthless
so I suppose it's just honesty...
66
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,621
'ruthless honesty.'
67
00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:10,171
Drying my hands.
68
00:14:11,838 --> 00:14:13,144
Impressive.
69
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,099
Have fun...
70
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,707
I mean, on the...
71
00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,299
'Hey, regular user!
72
00:14:29,424 --> 00:14:34,467
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situation.
73
00:14:34,592 --> 00:14:35,915
'Select view... '
74
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:53,908
Dick.
75
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:26,013
Detritus. Sorry.
76
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:42,351
Come on!
77
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,995
Wait. There's a knack to it.
78
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,413
- You'll take your fingers off.
- Trust me.
79
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,465
Smart.
80
00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:56,779
Bing Manson.
81
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:58,675
Short for Bingham.
82
00:17:59,406 --> 00:18:00,724
Abi Carner.
83
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:03,355
Short for Abi Carner.
84
00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,527
You're a new person.
I've not seen you.
85
00:18:07,076 --> 00:18:08,679
I just went 21 last week.
86
00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:12,096
I wanted to go to Airdale
My sister's there, but...
87
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,597
It's full, apparently.
88
00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:20,510
Proper fruit.
It was worth the risk.
89
00:18:21,236 --> 00:18:24,646
The most natural thing in there's
probably grown in a Petri dish.
90
00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:27,542
Yeah.
91
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:29,471
Quite good, though.
92
00:18:29,596 --> 00:18:31,235
Yeah. That's the right way round.
93
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:34,115
When you get the cheap one,
you end up having to pedal it off.
94
00:18:34,116 --> 00:18:37,395
Then you want more sugar. Then
you're playing catch-up and I've...
95
00:18:37,396 --> 00:18:40,284
I've been there.
It's a vicious circle.
96
00:18:42,743 --> 00:18:44,671
Can't you just use that CPT app?
97
00:18:44,681 --> 00:18:45,999
What's that?
98
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,595
This cognitive behavioural thing.
99
00:18:48,596 --> 00:18:51,286
It realigns your thinking
to pick healthy food.
100
00:18:51,966 --> 00:18:54,130
Whispers you into it
while you sleep.
101
00:18:56,275 --> 00:18:58,327
Yeah, I should try that, yeah.
102
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,015
I liked your singing the other day.
103
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:13,302
I was trying to sing
so no-one could hear me pee.
104
00:19:13,632 --> 00:19:15,155
I'm not Selma or anything.
105
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:19,155
You've got a phenomenal voice.
It was the most beautiful song...
106
00:19:21,676 --> 00:19:24,228
Y... You think I'm being cheesy?
107
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:29,373
All right, I am being cheesy.
108
00:19:29,398 --> 00:19:31,673
But it was beautiful, so, you know...
109
00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:36,797
Reality's cheesy sometimes.
Not often, admittedly, but...
110
00:19:37,716 --> 00:19:39,026
Now.
111
00:19:40,276 --> 00:19:41,610
Yeah...
112
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:49,945
Well, thank you.
113
00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:55,859
It's just noises, though.
114
00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:58,147
Noises in the right order.
115
00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,595
Don't downplay... you're good.
116
00:19:59,596 --> 00:20:02,049
The song's good. It's old.
117
00:20:04,442 --> 00:20:08,024
My mum used to sing it
and she learnt it from her mum.
118
00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:10,220
A hand-me-down.
119
00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:15,459
You thought of trying out
for Hot Shot?
120
00:20:15,707 --> 00:20:18,456
Me?
121
00:20:18,922 --> 00:20:20,235
Why not?
122
00:20:20,236 --> 00:20:21,934
Singing in front of Judge Hope?
123
00:20:21,956 --> 00:20:25,555
I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway
to the afterlife come the chorus.
124
00:20:25,556 --> 00:20:26,750
No, you'd walk it.
125
00:20:26,762 --> 00:20:27,979
A) I wouldn't.
126
00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:32,182
And B)... I don't have
that clockage.
127
00:20:32,904 --> 00:20:35,435
It's, what, 12 mil just to enter?
128
00:20:35,479 --> 00:20:37,715
What kind of bike time is that?
Six months?
129
00:20:37,716 --> 00:20:40,035
- Yeah, but...
- I'm hand to mouth.
130
00:20:40,036 --> 00:20:44,055
I know people save and stuff
to get onto that stage
131
00:20:44,069 --> 00:20:46,673
and then there's what Selma did.
But, you know what?
132
00:20:46,676 --> 00:20:50,062
- I'd rather not give myself...
- Yeah, but I'll gift it to you.
133
00:20:52,699 --> 00:20:54,377
The full 12, I'll gift it.
134
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:02,115
Don't be ridiculous!
135
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:04,459
Seriously, I've got it spare.
136
00:21:04,876 --> 00:21:06,935
You've got 12 mil spare?
137
00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:09,082
My brother left it me.
138
00:21:09,716 --> 00:21:11,631
Own a channel, does he?
139
00:21:11,913 --> 00:21:13,219
No, he...
140
00:21:13,676 --> 00:21:14,985
He died.
141
00:21:16,866 --> 00:21:20,224
He... He died last year,
142
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,300
so it got transferred to me.
143
00:21:22,796 --> 00:21:25,448
Just over six months' worth,
but I've kept it.
144
00:21:27,993 --> 00:21:29,845
Why don't you spend it on you, then?
145
00:21:29,857 --> 00:21:32,668
And buy what? Some new shoes
for my doppel to wear?
146
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:36,635
I don't know, upgrade your MOS...
147
00:21:36,636 --> 00:21:38,629
Or get a Fat Attack season pass?
148
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,515
Buy one of those wall buddies.
149
00:21:41,525 --> 00:21:44,933
The new ones that talk to you after
shutting and solve your problems.
150
00:21:44,956 --> 00:21:48,940
They guide your dreams, like gurus.
It's amazing, really, what they can do.
151
00:21:48,965 --> 00:21:52,515
A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I
look as a werewolf? What's the point?
152
00:21:52,516 --> 00:21:55,759
- I know it can be quite funny.
- It's all just stuff. It's...
153
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,864
It's stuff, it's confetti, it's...
154
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:04,422
You've got something real.
155
00:22:06,356 --> 00:22:08,159
What better to spend it on?
156
00:22:08,284 --> 00:22:10,348
You heard me singing in a toilet.
157
00:22:11,729 --> 00:22:13,035
Is that real?
158
00:22:13,036 --> 00:22:15,514
More than anything that's
happened all year.
159
00:22:19,613 --> 00:22:22,225
I can't take that kind of clockage
off someone.
160
00:22:23,431 --> 00:22:25,184
It's 12 mils, no way.
161
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:27,167
Let me do this.
162
00:22:30,533 --> 00:22:33,120
I... I look around here, I just...
163
00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:36,888
I just want something real to happen.
164
00:22:39,540 --> 00:22:40,845
Just once.
165
00:22:43,892 --> 00:22:45,195
I'd mess up.
166
00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:47,040
You wouldn't. I don't care anyway.
167
00:22:47,836 --> 00:22:50,875
I'll go with you.
I'll be able to force you.
168
00:22:51,142 --> 00:22:52,771
I'll force you to go.
169
00:22:54,756 --> 00:22:56,139
It's tomorrow.
170
00:22:57,987 --> 00:22:59,467
Come on!
171
00:23:06,108 --> 00:23:07,414
Say yes.
172
00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:13,353
I'll go as far as to say, "OK."
173
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,367
Which proves acceptable.
174
00:23:19,956 --> 00:23:21,352
Thank God for that.
175
00:23:25,436 --> 00:23:26,746
Walking away now.
176
00:23:28,102 --> 00:23:29,407
You loon!
177
00:23:30,516 --> 00:23:31,887
I can live with it!
178
00:24:03,165 --> 00:24:05,341
I'd love to fucking ruin that
and all.
179
00:24:33,516 --> 00:24:34,822
What?
180
00:24:35,326 --> 00:24:36,631
15?
181
00:24:40,202 --> 00:24:41,513
A flippin' joke...
182
00:25:32,476 --> 00:25:34,577
'New from Wraith Babes.
183
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:37,848
'The hottest girls
in the nastiest situations.'
184
00:25:38,949 --> 00:25:40,467
Yeah!
185
00:26:09,436 --> 00:26:11,267
Can't believe I'm doing this.
186
00:26:14,483 --> 00:26:15,791
I am doing this.
187
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:20,700
I can't be doing this.
188
00:26:20,725 --> 00:26:22,242
Can you trade it back?
189
00:26:22,676 --> 00:26:23,991
The ticket?
190
00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:25,366
Don't be mad.
191
00:26:26,142 --> 00:26:28,741
It's a lot of pressure
to put someone under, you know.
192
00:26:28,765 --> 00:26:31,860
Don't think I'm not grateful.
But it's, it's just...
193
00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:33,191
You're babbling.
194
00:26:33,316 --> 00:26:34,786
I'm babbling.
195
00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:44,626
I made you this.
196
00:26:48,183 --> 00:26:51,727
You never get to keep them more
than a day, but there it is, anyway.
197
00:26:56,459 --> 00:26:57,690
It folds flat.
198
00:26:58,108 --> 00:27:00,782
So you can keep them
in your waistband.
199
00:27:05,036 --> 00:27:06,345
Thank you.
200
00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:13,195
It's, you know...
201
00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:14,803
something.
202
00:27:45,152 --> 00:27:46,593
Face the screen, please.
203
00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:52,995
Is he your Friends And Family
allocation?
204
00:27:55,546 --> 00:27:56,866
Hand, please.
205
00:27:59,532 --> 00:28:01,123
That's not permanent, is it?
206
00:28:01,248 --> 00:28:02,635
No. Two months max.
207
00:28:02,726 --> 00:28:04,894
Round to the right,
and through the scanner.
208
00:28:29,372 --> 00:28:30,680
Where do we go now?
209
00:28:31,312 --> 00:28:32,624
You wait here.
210
00:28:33,676 --> 00:28:34,977
How long?
211
00:28:39,638 --> 00:28:40,940
So, what do we do?
212
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:42,235
I don't know.
213
00:28:43,396 --> 00:28:45,171
Hey, hey, hey.
Fuck off.
214
00:28:50,039 --> 00:28:51,671
Her with the dark hair?
215
00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,546
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one.
216
00:28:54,416 --> 00:28:56,475
Yup. OK. Move.
217
00:28:57,839 --> 00:28:59,484
They want to preview you.
218
00:29:00,181 --> 00:29:01,915
- What?
- Preview. Come on.
219
00:29:02,364 --> 00:29:03,919
- He's with me.
- Hand?
220
00:29:05,841 --> 00:29:07,164
Show me your hand.
221
00:29:07,693 --> 00:29:08,995
OK. You, too.
222
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,421
That's not fair.
She's new. That's not fair.
223
00:29:11,425 --> 00:29:12,935
I don't pick the order.
224
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:15,664
I've waited here all week,
and she's just walked in.
225
00:29:15,743 --> 00:29:19,558
Everyone will get seen eventually.
I don't pick the order.
226
00:29:19,566 --> 00:29:21,042
But I'm a good singer.
227
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:23,666
I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am.
228
00:29:23,667 --> 00:29:26,016
- Stand aside.
- It's not fair!
229
00:29:27,086 --> 00:29:28,391
It's not fair!
230
00:29:34,204 --> 00:29:36,480
- Next lot.
- Stand there.
231
00:29:41,102 --> 00:29:43,620
Would you like to be as big as Salma
one day?
232
00:29:43,985 --> 00:29:46,849
Yeah, I mean...
233
00:29:46,874 --> 00:29:48,115
Could you say that
234
00:29:48,116 --> 00:29:50,713
as a self-contained sentence
into that screen?
235
00:29:53,236 --> 00:29:55,755
I guess I'd like to be
as big as Salma one day.
236
00:29:55,756 --> 00:29:57,715
OK. Proceed to stage area.
237
00:29:58,540 --> 00:29:59,846
Are we done?
238
00:30:02,882 --> 00:30:04,921
- Both performing?
- Just her.
239
00:30:04,934 --> 00:30:07,555
- Okay... and what are you?
- Singer.
240
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:09,707
- Cuppliance?
- No, thanks.
241
00:30:09,832 --> 00:30:12,932
A-ha. Yes, thanks!
It's compulsory for all contestants.
242
00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:15,474
More to the point,
it'll stop you puking with nerves.
243
00:30:15,528 --> 00:30:17,724
- She's got to perform.
- Well...
244
00:30:18,147 --> 00:30:20,145
Look, just sip it, you'll be fine.
245
00:30:24,759 --> 00:30:26,753
Just a touch of light foam.
It'll pass.
246
00:30:26,878 --> 00:30:28,302
Make the most of it.
247
00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:30,273
You can't get this stuff
anywhere else.
248
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,275
You OK?
Yeah.
249
00:30:32,276 --> 00:30:33,585
You OK?
250
00:30:36,358 --> 00:30:37,673
Yeah. Just...
251
00:30:38,788 --> 00:30:42,795
I don't know. Things are just
wider apart. I'm fine.
252
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,161
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
253
00:30:47,076 --> 00:30:48,482
Right. You're on.
254
00:31:06,242 --> 00:31:07,809
A little closer, please.
255
00:31:12,542 --> 00:31:13,873
Little closer.
256
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:18,676
Into the light, love.
257
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,248
- And who're we looking at here?
- Abi Khan.
258
00:31:30,882 --> 00:31:33,257
What are you going
to do for us today, Abi?
259
00:31:33,842 --> 00:31:35,235
I'm going to sing.
260
00:31:35,236 --> 00:31:36,695
You speak up, love.
261
00:31:36,820 --> 00:31:38,166
We don't bite.
262
00:31:39,782 --> 00:31:41,088
I'm going to sing.
263
00:31:41,476 --> 00:31:45,115
Hey, would you mind
lifting up your top for me?
264
00:31:46,668 --> 00:31:48,372
Can you take off your top?
265
00:31:48,387 --> 00:31:50,377
I want to check out those titties.
266
00:31:53,924 --> 00:31:55,627
Come on. Mucho feranto.
267
00:31:57,025 --> 00:31:58,654
No titties?
268
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,599
She says she's here to sing.
269
00:32:02,236 --> 00:32:04,555
I got to see
those titties, though.
270
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,075
Come on, girl.
271
00:32:06,076 --> 00:32:07,422
I mean, damn!
272
00:32:09,156 --> 00:32:10,475
You hot.
273
00:32:10,952 --> 00:32:13,414
Please, just sing for us.
274
00:34:36,757 --> 00:34:38,647
OK. I'm going to stop you there.
275
00:34:40,238 --> 00:34:41,454
That was...
276
00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:43,764
without a doubt...
277
00:34:46,436 --> 00:34:50,235
probably the best piece of singing
we've had this season.
278
00:34:50,462 --> 00:34:52,414
Yes! Well done!
279
00:34:57,636 --> 00:34:58,945
Fair play.
280
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,795
But I have to say...
281
00:35:05,932 --> 00:35:07,785
No. No, no, no.
I have to say,
282
00:35:08,643 --> 00:35:09,951
actually,
283
00:35:09,965 --> 00:35:11,606
I'm with Rafe on this one.
284
00:35:13,173 --> 00:35:15,715
Good though your voice is...
and it is good.
285
00:35:16,227 --> 00:35:18,915
It's not the most magical sound
in the world.
286
00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:20,481
It's just... good.
287
00:35:21,732 --> 00:35:24,530
I don't think anyone's
really hearing it.
288
00:35:24,655 --> 00:35:27,154
Certainly not the guys
in the audience.
289
00:35:27,439 --> 00:35:30,635
These looks you got going on
kind of get in the way.
290
00:35:31,132 --> 00:35:33,408
Men will want you.
Women will hate you.
291
00:35:33,717 --> 00:35:35,513
All the time you're on stage.
292
00:35:36,838 --> 00:35:38,591
Couldn't help picturing you.
293
00:35:39,521 --> 00:35:41,035
In an erotic scenario.
294
00:35:42,363 --> 00:35:44,763
Getting pretty turned on,
if I'm honest.
295
00:35:48,636 --> 00:35:49,951
Right.
296
00:35:50,076 --> 00:35:51,760
You've got this pure beauty
297
00:35:52,419 --> 00:35:54,546
What seems to be
a knockout figure.
298
00:35:55,242 --> 00:35:58,195
And this sort of interesting
innocence going on.
299
00:35:58,205 --> 00:36:00,655
That's something I think
Rafe's erotica channels
300
00:36:00,664 --> 00:36:02,315
could really play with.
301
00:36:02,316 --> 00:36:04,835
Absolutely. That's what I thought
302
00:36:04,836 --> 00:36:06,235
the moment I saw you.
303
00:36:06,413 --> 00:36:07,715
The moment.
304
00:36:08,256 --> 00:36:11,595
I'd watch. I don't know a man here
who wouldn't.
305
00:36:11,596 --> 00:36:14,071
To be honest,
some of us girls might join you.
306
00:36:18,011 --> 00:36:19,342
Get off me!
307
00:36:19,467 --> 00:36:20,784
Don't! Abi!
308
00:36:21,919 --> 00:36:24,146
No! Abi! Abi!
309
00:36:24,271 --> 00:36:26,275
I don't think that's quite...
310
00:36:28,601 --> 00:36:33,153
You will never have to pedal again.
Not one minute.
311
00:36:34,127 --> 00:36:36,341
We could really work with you.
312
00:36:36,466 --> 00:36:39,611
Last year we had
singers, singers, singers.
313
00:36:39,972 --> 00:36:41,174
So many singers.
314
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:44,033
So, to be a singer you have to be
truly exceptional
315
00:36:44,519 --> 00:36:48,235
There's just no slots left
for an above average singer.
316
00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:50,955
Not for the next few years,
at least. Charity?
317
00:36:50,956 --> 00:36:53,838
No. Saturation point, singer-wise.
318
00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:57,011
Listen. We said,
right from the start.
319
00:36:57,276 --> 00:36:59,711
We'll go with something
different this season.
320
00:36:59,836 --> 00:37:01,751
That's why he's on the panel!
321
00:37:02,435 --> 00:37:05,780
She would be a star on our stream.
322
00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:07,635
A star.
323
00:37:08,287 --> 00:37:09,592
On his...
324
00:37:11,030 --> 00:37:12,675
You're furniture, at best.
325
00:37:12,676 --> 00:37:15,538
Forget about all the shame,
and all that ppht-ppht-tew.
326
00:37:16,334 --> 00:37:17,995
We medicate against that.
327
00:37:17,996 --> 00:37:20,316
You will have pleasure forever.
328
00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:22,903
Realistically, sweetheart,
it is that,
329
00:37:23,236 --> 00:37:24,542
or the bike.
330
00:37:27,992 --> 00:37:29,330
I, I don't think...
331
00:37:29,338 --> 00:37:31,358
This is starting to annoy me.
332
00:37:31,799 --> 00:37:34,907
Who do you think is powering
that spotlight?
333
00:37:40,845 --> 00:37:42,797
Millions of people. That's who.
334
00:37:43,282 --> 00:37:45,459
All of them, out there, right now.
335
00:37:46,426 --> 00:37:48,639
Putting in an honest day
on the bike,
336
00:37:48,656 --> 00:37:51,126
while you stand in the light
they're generating
337
00:37:51,143 --> 00:37:52,309
and dither.
338
00:37:52,667 --> 00:37:53,972
You know what?
339
00:37:54,097 --> 00:37:58,103
They would give anything.
Do anything to be where you are now.
340
00:37:58,775 --> 00:38:00,080
Am I right?!
341
00:38:03,308 --> 00:38:06,566
You want to cock a snook at all
that, as though it's nothing.
342
00:38:08,358 --> 00:38:10,049
As though they're nothing.
343
00:38:11,036 --> 00:38:12,456
And that makes me sick.
344
00:38:13,716 --> 00:38:15,079
But, you know what?
345
00:38:16,556 --> 00:38:18,307
Maybe you do belong on the bike.
346
00:38:18,556 --> 00:38:21,503
Because you don't seem to be
very willing to step off it.
347
00:38:24,562 --> 00:38:25,631
I do want to.
348
00:38:25,643 --> 00:38:26,974
We have a decision?
349
00:38:27,099 --> 00:38:32,075
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
350
00:38:43,156 --> 00:38:46,475
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
351
00:38:46,476 --> 00:38:50,475
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
352
00:39:01,836 --> 00:39:03,155
I suppose.
353
00:39:11,476 --> 00:39:13,955
Go on!
354
00:39:13,956 --> 00:39:15,261
Well done!
355
00:40:33,844 --> 00:40:36,008
Best thing about my new lifestyle...
356
00:40:37,376 --> 00:40:39,079
I get to meet lots of hot guys.
357
00:40:41,644 --> 00:40:43,420
Wraith treats me well.
358
00:40:45,212 --> 00:40:47,963
For Christ's sake!
359
00:40:48,715 --> 00:40:50,282
I pay for this!
360
00:40:50,667 --> 00:40:53,800
I... pay... for... this!
361
00:40:54,136 --> 00:40:57,630
I pump my arse off, and you...
Fuck you!
362
00:40:59,324 --> 00:41:01,483
Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits.
363
00:41:01,835 --> 00:41:04,685
Find your horizon
and fuck off over it!
364
00:41:08,147 --> 00:41:09,502
'It's a dream.
365
00:41:10,404 --> 00:41:11,854
'I get to live...
366
00:41:12,248 --> 00:41:13,551
'in a...
367
00:41:13,924 --> 00:41:15,368
'beautiful place.
368
00:41:16,211 --> 00:41:17,517
'And...
369
00:41:18,536 --> 00:41:19,855
'wear lots of...
370
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,426
'beautiful things.
371
00:41:27,484 --> 00:41:28,793
'It's a dream.'
372
00:41:52,324 --> 00:41:54,163
Insufficient funds.
373
00:41:54,409 --> 00:41:56,079
'From Wraith Babes... '
374
00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:57,405
'C'mon, girl... '
375
00:41:58,102 --> 00:42:00,551
'..a Wraith Babes reality special.'
376
00:42:01,484 --> 00:42:03,894
I guess I'd like to be as big as
Thelma one day.
377
00:42:04,841 --> 00:42:08,534
'Millions watched her glide through
the Hot Shot curtain of dreams
378
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:10,279
'to sing her heart out.'
379
00:42:14,113 --> 00:42:17,163
'What happened next
shocked them all.'
380
00:42:17,288 --> 00:42:18,963
We could really work with you.
381
00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:20,690
Do we have a decision?
382
00:42:21,249 --> 00:42:24,679
'Now, watch her
stunning erotic debut... '
383
00:42:28,644 --> 00:42:30,062
No, no, no, no, no...
384
00:42:31,107 --> 00:42:32,883
'So, who do we have here?'
385
00:42:33,701 --> 00:42:35,003
I'm Abby.
386
00:42:35,619 --> 00:42:37,123
'You were at Hot Shot.
387
00:42:38,079 --> 00:42:40,293
'You were real impressive.'
388
00:42:44,364 --> 00:42:46,083
Resume viewing!
389
00:42:46,084 --> 00:42:48,243
- No! No!
- Resume viewing!
390
00:42:48,244 --> 00:42:49,683
Resume viewing!
391
00:42:49,684 --> 00:42:51,003
Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
392
00:42:51,004 --> 00:42:52,723
Resume viewing! Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
393
00:42:52,724 --> 00:42:56,083
Resume viewing!
394
00:42:56,084 --> 00:42:57,381
'Look at you.
395
00:42:57,862 --> 00:42:59,801
'All clean and shiny.'
396
00:43:02,218 --> 00:43:04,510
Portal disabled
during commercial.
397
00:43:04,541 --> 00:43:06,763
'You'll see everything.
398
00:43:06,888 --> 00:43:08,745
'You'll see it all!
399
00:43:09,269 --> 00:43:10,861
'Open your mouth.
400
00:43:11,271 --> 00:43:13,447
'Open... take it in...
401
00:43:14,036 --> 00:43:17,170
'take it in... yeah...
402
00:43:19,324 --> 00:43:23,323
No! No! No! No!
403
00:45:43,996 --> 00:45:47,042
'The hottest girls... '
404
00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:26,938
Could you stand aside, please?
405
00:49:29,828 --> 00:49:32,841
Come up into the back,
in front of me, please.
406
00:49:32,966 --> 00:49:34,502
Are you messin'?
407
00:49:41,404 --> 00:49:42,733
A what-nic one?
408
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,231
An eth-nic one!
409
00:49:47,764 --> 00:49:49,074
On it.
410
00:49:49,652 --> 00:49:53,047
We're going to preview, all right?
Want to follow me in the back?
411
00:49:53,884 --> 00:49:55,379
You're a prick!
412
00:49:59,364 --> 00:50:00,698
Next, lot.
413
00:50:01,701 --> 00:50:03,007
Stand there!
414
00:50:06,770 --> 00:50:08,670
So what are you, a magician?
415
00:50:09,624 --> 00:50:10,880
An entertainer.
416
00:50:10,904 --> 00:50:15,163
Could you say that down the screen
as a self-contained sentence?
417
00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:20,403
I'm an entertainer.
418
00:50:25,367 --> 00:50:28,140
Before you go on,
you need to drink a Cuppliance.
419
00:50:28,165 --> 00:50:30,488
They give me one back there.
Really? OK.
420
00:50:30,613 --> 00:50:33,523
Well, in that case,
you are good to...
421
00:50:34,659 --> 00:50:35,977
go.
422
00:50:49,498 --> 00:50:50,799
Who are you?
423
00:50:51,047 --> 00:50:52,443
Bing Madsen.
424
00:50:53,108 --> 00:50:54,936
What are you planning to do for us?
425
00:50:54,946 --> 00:50:56,248
What the fuck?!
426
00:50:56,324 --> 00:50:57,794
'A sort of performance.'
427
00:50:58,637 --> 00:51:00,123
A sort of performance?
428
00:51:00,193 --> 00:51:01,494
Yes.
429
00:51:01,619 --> 00:51:03,944
Man of mystery!
430
00:51:08,964 --> 00:51:10,816
I suppose we'd better see it.
431
00:51:11,413 --> 00:51:12,719
OK.
432
00:51:54,127 --> 00:51:55,409
Knob'ead!
433
00:51:55,684 --> 00:51:57,092
Fucking cock!
434
00:52:11,084 --> 00:52:14,631
Stop or I'll do it. This is a main
artery. Keep walking, you kill me.
435
00:52:18,503 --> 00:52:22,134
No-one stops me till I've said my piece.
Then you can do what you like.
436
00:52:22,143 --> 00:52:23,913
Man, just fucking kill yourself.
437
00:52:23,918 --> 00:52:27,603
Get heavy on me, I swear to God,
I kick your ass back to life,
438
00:52:27,604 --> 00:52:29,683
just so I could cut
your goddamn head off.
439
00:52:31,684 --> 00:52:32,993
Go on!
440
00:52:36,684 --> 00:52:38,483
I think we should let him speak.
441
00:52:39,844 --> 00:52:43,843
- Speak!
- Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak!
442
00:52:45,764 --> 00:52:47,723
Let's hear what he has to say.
443
00:52:51,672 --> 00:52:52,982
Well?
444
00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:54,361
Come on.
445
00:52:54,843 --> 00:52:57,342
Got our attention, as requested.
446
00:52:58,884 --> 00:53:00,190
What do you want to say?
447
00:53:04,284 --> 00:53:06,563
Have you prepared a speech,
is that it?
448
00:53:08,536 --> 00:53:09,842
Speak!
449
00:53:09,847 --> 00:53:13,398
I haven't got a speech. I didn't
plan words. I didn't even try to...
450
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:16,953
I just knew I had to get here, to stand
here, and I wanted you to listen.
451
00:53:16,954 --> 00:53:19,940
To really listen, not just pull
a face like you're listening,
452
00:53:19,944 --> 00:53:21,615
like you do the rest of the time.
453
00:53:21,621 --> 00:53:24,244
A face that you're feeling
instead of processing.
454
00:53:24,369 --> 00:53:27,043
You pull a face, and poke it towards
the stage,
455
00:53:27,044 --> 00:53:31,439
and we lah-di-dah,
we sing and dance and tumble around.
456
00:53:31,448 --> 00:53:34,002
And all you see up here,
it's not people,
457
00:53:34,014 --> 00:53:36,523
you don't see people up here,
it's all fodder.
458
00:53:36,524 --> 00:53:38,988
And the faker the fodder,
the more you love it,
459
00:53:39,004 --> 00:53:41,683
because fake fodder's the only
thing that works any more.
460
00:53:41,684 --> 00:53:44,243
It's all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
461
00:53:44,244 --> 00:53:46,563
Real pain, real viciousness,
that, we can take.
462
00:53:46,564 --> 00:53:48,200
Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
463
00:53:48,204 --> 00:53:51,123
We laugh ourselves feral,
because we've earned the right,
464
00:53:51,124 --> 00:53:53,642
we've done cell time
and he's slacking, the scum,
465
00:53:53,648 --> 00:53:54,871
so ha-ha-ha at him!
466
00:53:54,886 --> 00:53:57,491
Because we're so out of our minds
with desperation,
467
00:53:57,492 --> 00:53:59,234
we don't know any better.
468
00:53:59,259 --> 00:54:01,723
All we know is fake fodder
and buying shit.
469
00:54:01,724 --> 00:54:03,523
That's how we speak to each other,
470
00:54:03,524 --> 00:54:05,772
how we express ourselves,
is buying shit.
471
00:54:05,796 --> 00:54:07,163
What, I have a dream?
472
00:54:07,164 --> 00:54:11,469
The peak of our dreams is a new app
for our Dopple, it doesn't exist!
473
00:54:11,493 --> 00:54:12,883
It's not even there!
474
00:54:12,884 --> 00:54:14,643
We buy shit that's not even there.
475
00:54:14,644 --> 00:54:17,843
Show us something real and free
and beautiful. You couldn't.
476
00:54:17,844 --> 00:54:19,323
Yeah? It'd break us.
477
00:54:19,324 --> 00:54:20,923
We're too numb for it.
478
00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,403
I might as well choke.
479
00:54:22,404 --> 00:54:24,443
It's only so much wonder
we can bear.
480
00:54:24,444 --> 00:54:28,128
When you find any wonder whatsoever,
you dole it out in meagre portions.
481
00:54:28,136 --> 00:54:30,471
Only then until it's
augmented, packaged, and
482
00:54:30,483 --> 00:54:32,999
pumped through 10,000
preassigned filters
483
00:54:33,006 --> 00:54:36,043
till it's nothing more than
a meaningless series of lights,
484
00:54:36,044 --> 00:54:39,443
while we ride day in day out,
going where?
485
00:54:40,327 --> 00:54:41,645
Powering what?
486
00:54:42,185 --> 00:54:45,430
All tiny cells and tiny screens
and bigger cells
487
00:54:45,438 --> 00:54:47,208
and bigger screens and fuck you!
488
00:54:47,411 --> 00:54:50,517
Fuck you,
that's what it boils down to.
489
00:54:51,226 --> 00:54:54,763
Fuck you for sitting there
and slowly making things worse.
490
00:54:54,888 --> 00:54:58,323
Fuck you and your spotlight
and your sanctimonious faces.
491
00:54:58,324 --> 00:55:00,603
Fuck you all for thinking
the one thing
492
00:55:00,604 --> 00:55:02,843
I came close to never meant
anything.
493
00:55:03,556 --> 00:55:07,776
For oozing around it and crushing it
into a bone, into a joke.
494
00:55:07,784 --> 00:55:11,243
One more ugly joke
in a kingdom of millions.
495
00:55:11,758 --> 00:55:13,691
Fuck you for happening.
496
00:55:15,084 --> 00:55:18,159
Fuck you for me, for us,
for everyone.
497
00:55:18,177 --> 00:55:19,483
Fuck you!
498
00:55:41,479 --> 00:55:44,028
That was, without a doubt,
499
00:55:45,861 --> 00:55:49,716
the most heartfelt thing
I've seen on this stage
500
00:55:50,249 --> 00:55:51,990
since Hotshot began!
501
00:55:57,475 --> 00:55:58,782
Brilliant!
502
00:55:59,207 --> 00:56:00,428
You...
503
00:56:01,127 --> 00:56:04,163
you're so articulating
something we all,
504
00:56:04,164 --> 00:56:06,839
and I mean everyone in this hall,
505
00:56:07,221 --> 00:56:09,283
something we all agree on.
506
00:56:09,758 --> 00:56:12,483
Even though we may not comprehend
all of it.
507
00:56:12,969 --> 00:56:15,966
I think I'm right in saying
we do feel it.
508
00:56:17,334 --> 00:56:18,639
Even me.
509
00:56:18,764 --> 00:56:21,279
I know you've got me down
as this creature.
510
00:56:21,801 --> 00:56:23,654
You know, hey...
511
00:56:25,181 --> 00:56:27,358
I get where you're coming from.
512
00:56:27,661 --> 00:56:29,912
- I like your stuff.
- It's not stuff.
513
00:56:29,937 --> 00:56:31,921
It's truth. Am I right?
514
00:56:33,983 --> 00:56:37,523
Your truth, admittedly,
but truth nonetheless.
515
00:56:38,244 --> 00:56:39,554
And you're right.
516
00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:43,381
Authenticity is in woefully
short supply.
517
00:56:45,625 --> 00:56:47,681
I'd like to hear you talk again.
518
00:56:51,084 --> 00:56:52,394
How so?
519
00:56:52,973 --> 00:56:55,460
The slot on one of my streams
520
00:56:56,442 --> 00:56:58,855
where you can talk just like that.
521
00:57:02,265 --> 00:57:05,213
I'd watch it.
It was such great passion.
522
00:57:07,663 --> 00:57:10,984
He's a'right.
You're a little hot there, bud.
523
00:57:11,745 --> 00:57:14,046
That throat cutting thing?
Neat gimmick.
524
00:57:14,444 --> 00:57:15,762
What do you say?
525
00:57:16,524 --> 00:57:18,563
30 minutes twice a week?
526
00:57:20,924 --> 00:57:25,464
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
527
00:57:26,372 --> 00:57:30,911
Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
528
00:57:31,794 --> 00:57:36,043
Do it, do it, do it!
529
00:57:36,044 --> 00:57:37,723
Do it, do it, do it!
530
00:57:37,724 --> 00:57:39,443
Go on, you bastard.
531
00:57:39,444 --> 00:57:43,443
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
532
00:57:44,817 --> 00:57:46,272
Beats the bike.
533
00:57:46,724 --> 00:57:48,137
Certainly does.
534
00:58:04,204 --> 00:58:08,203
'We have with us Oliver.
Oliver ate and ate
535
00:58:08,324 --> 00:58:12,203
'till he hit 17 stone and he's here
today to try and beat us
536
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:15,163
'on Botherguts!
537
00:58:16,411 --> 00:58:17,779
'Keep going.'
538
00:58:27,644 --> 00:58:32,959
OK, I'm going to stop you there.
That was achingly terrible.
539
00:58:33,084 --> 00:58:37,083
You have the magnetism of a towel. I
don't ever want to look at you again.
540
00:58:37,644 --> 00:58:40,683
I have to agree.
I'm so sorry, love.
541
00:58:40,948 --> 00:58:44,231
You came across as fundamentally
unlikeable
542
00:58:44,256 --> 00:58:46,723
and really quite worthless.
543
00:58:47,746 --> 00:58:51,279
You could fill that pussy with honey
and I still wouldn't fuck it.
544
00:58:51,404 --> 00:58:54,550
I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah.
545
00:58:54,675 --> 00:58:56,443
Cos this is my destiny
546
00:58:56,671 --> 00:58:58,598
and I can sing, fu...!
547
00:59:01,924 --> 00:59:03,885
'Like that, don't you, Harry?
548
00:59:06,044 --> 00:59:07,403
'Say it.
549
00:59:08,017 --> 00:59:09,322
'Yeah.
550
00:59:10,804 --> 00:59:14,803
'15,000 new wardrobe options
551
00:59:14,890 --> 00:59:16,527
'launched last week alone.
552
00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:21,403
'It effectively translates as
15,000 new ways to kill time
553
00:59:21,528 --> 00:59:24,083
'in your cell before you explore
an afterlife
554
00:59:24,084 --> 00:59:25,828
'which doesn't exist anyway.
555
00:59:26,189 --> 00:59:29,668
'With any luck, it'll take your mind
off those saddle sores?
556
00:59:30,884 --> 00:59:34,883
'You know the only thing stopping me
from slashing myself open right now?
557
00:59:36,993 --> 00:59:38,908
'I might not die right away.
558
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,098
'And before I went,
they'd find a way
559
00:59:41,106 --> 00:59:43,283
'to charge my twitching
half-dead cadaver,
560
00:59:43,284 --> 00:59:46,241
'20,000 merits for swabbing
the walls clean.'
561
00:59:46,242 --> 00:59:47,552
- Yeah.
- Anyway,
562
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,202
'hang on in there
563
00:59:50,514 --> 00:59:51,815
if you must.
564
00:59:57,924 --> 01:00:00,203
'We're all in this together
they say.
565
01:00:00,204 --> 01:00:01,515
'Yeah, right.
566
01:00:03,884 --> 01:00:05,292
'Farewell for ever.
567
01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,710
'Till the same time next week.'
568
01:00:14,048 --> 01:00:15,357
Stream off-line.