1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:06,320 Hello and welcome as we raise a glass to the 40 greatest moments 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,160 from an exceptional sitcom. 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:09,600 ALL: Hooray. 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,520 The Blackadder! 5 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,600 Yes, indeed. 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,480 Blackadder spanned all the ages with high comedy and low farce. 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,880 Oh, my God, my ear muffs have fallen down. 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,480 But no wonder it's so good. 9 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,440 Just look at the people involved, all colossi of British comedy. 10 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,680 Is this true? Yes. 11 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,440 Our eponymous hero is played by Rowan Atkinson. 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,200 People should be reminded of how great Rowan is. 13 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,280 We did this robbery together so you get half the cash. 14 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,880 Oh, thank you, Mr B! 15 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,800 This robbery, on the other hand, I'm doing alone. 16 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,960 Hand it over. Your money or your life. 17 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,720 It featured stars like Stephen Fry... 18 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,560 The great thing about Blackadder 19 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,800 was that it played with the British idea of being British. 20 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,480 Operation Winkle. 21 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,200 Winkle? Yes. 22 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,880 ..and was written by towering talents, 23 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Richard Curtis and Ben Elton. 24 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,960 Of course, I thought, "fantastic". 25 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,800 The opportunity to write lines for Rowan Atkinson, 26 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,600 um, you know, was an incredible offer 27 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,440 and to work with Richard. 28 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,560 Hugh Laurie, too, showed some early signs of international star quality. 29 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,360 I simply immersed myself 30 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,520 in the material. I always go back... 31 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,600 No, I read out the very splendid words they wrote for me! 32 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,440 You mean the moment's arrived for us to give Harry Hun 33 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,160 a darn good British-style thrashing? Six of the best, trousers down? 34 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,120 So here's a cunning plan of the very highest order. 35 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,080 Excellent. 36 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,080 Let's take some time to luxuriate 37 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,600 over the 40 best moments... 38 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,560 We're having a good time already. 39 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,280 ..as we relive the wittiest sitcom in history. 40 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,840 Prepare to be amazed. 41 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,440 The stars of the show are here... 42 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,120 Darling. Yes, sir? 43 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,680 Doing Darling was a kind of... 44 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,360 a way of hoping people might forget a little bit about Percy. 45 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:02,680 I have a cunning plan! 46 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,840 I'm dead chuffed to have been in it 47 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,200 and, of course, it transformed my career and my life. 48 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,440 Wicked child. 49 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,600 It's a mark of having arrived, in a way, 50 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,200 to be in Blackadder. I'm very proud of it. 51 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,280 ..Along with a slew of celebrity devotees 52 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,920 who share their love for the show. 53 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,360 Blackadder is just ridiculous. 54 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,240 A wibble. 55 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,640 That's what's funny. 56 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,440 There was a lot of people being thrown through doors... 57 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,720 and getting punched... 58 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,880 which literally made me wee with laughter. 59 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,920 BLACKADDER THEME PLAYS 60 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,720 MUSIC: "Green Onions" by Booker T And The MGs 61 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,880 Blackadder spans over 500 years... 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,680 ..so we'll have memorable moments 63 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,480 from some of the most colourful periods and people 64 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,720 in British history. 65 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,440 Ta-dah! 66 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,960 Watch as the fiendish Edmund Blackadder 67 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,120 and his hapless sidekick Baldrick 68 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,280 endure the slings and arrows of outrageous comedy. 69 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:34,040 Marvel as they make it through the whimsically hazardous Middle Ages. 70 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,400 Ah, Edmund. 71 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,520 'It's a very complicated and curious borrowing from English history.' 72 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,920 That's not important. What's important is it's funny. 73 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:46,560 Gasp as they grapple with a deliciously capricious Elizabeth I. 74 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,720 I'm going to knock your block off. 75 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,320 She's royalty. She can have anyone she likes. 76 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,320 I think about having you executed 77 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,680 just to see the expression on your face. 78 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:01,960 Finally, shudder as they encounter insanity on the grandest scale... 79 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,200 in the trenches of the first world war. 80 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,040 One of the best television moments you will ever see. 81 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,160 All the moments you will see tonight 82 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,600 were selected by the Blackadder family. Members of the cast... 83 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,400 I'll give it seven. 84 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,640 11 out of 10. 85 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:18,920 Members of the crew... 86 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:19,840 Nine. 87 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,400 Celebrity fans... 88 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:22,240 Ten. 89 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,160 And real Blackadders themselves. 90 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,640 Hi, I'm Simon Blackadder. Jackie Blackadder. 91 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,040 And I'm Will Blackadder. 92 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,000 I'm Kevin Blackadder. Hi, I'm AJ Blackadder from Perth, 93 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,160 Western Australia. 94 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,760 The long winter evenings must just fly by. 95 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:41,120 Yes, we really did round up 15 genuine Blackadders from across the land, 96 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,000 locked them in a screening room 97 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,280 and make them tell us their personal favourite moments. 98 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,320 What torture! 99 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,640 My favourite moment, definitely from Series Two, 100 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,920 Flashheart and "like it Nursie, firm and fruity." 101 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,480 Nursie, I like it firm and fruity. 102 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,760 All were asked to choose their favourites 103 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,640 and the moments are ranked according to those with the most nominations. 104 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,040 I'm giving ten. I'd like to give ten and a half. 105 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:13,760 Our first moment comes appropriately enough from the very first series. 106 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,960 It's medieval genius at number 40. 107 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:27,120 Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Once more. 108 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:32,120 It was fantastic having Peter Cook in the first series of Blackadder. 109 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,760 I persuaded Peter to come and be Richard III 110 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,440 and I think in that series, we didn't know what we were doing 111 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,440 and he probably thought we were all barking mad. 112 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,800 On Ralf! The liar's dead! 113 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,440 At the time his career was in a bit of the doldrums 114 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,200 but we all absolutely idolised him. 115 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,600 Your Majesty you've lost your steed, take mine. 116 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,440 No, no, no. I've won the battle, I've saved the kingdom. 117 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,640 I think I can find myself a horse. 118 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,240 True, my noble lord. I'll see you back at the castle. 119 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,760 So be it. 120 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,440 Horse! 121 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,320 HE WHISTLES 122 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,520 And Richard III does, of course, in Shakespeare shout, 123 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,040 "a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse". 124 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,920 My kingdom for a horse... 125 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,800 Ah, horsey! 126 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,960 'Blackadder's hiding,' 127 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,960 at the Battle of Bosworth Field, keeping out the way. 128 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,040 He's having a pee, then he turns round 129 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,120 and this guy's pinching his horse. 130 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,840 Oi, that's my horse! 131 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,240 That'll teach you. 132 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,240 You won't be doing that again now will you? 133 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,320 Oh, my god, it's uncle Richard. 134 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,440 When he realises he's cut the king's head off, who is my brother, 135 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,040 he puts his head back and gives him resuscitation, 136 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:07,160 moving his arms up and down which is absolutely inspired genius. 137 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:15,120 The key to Blackadder is his vaulting ambition, 138 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,360 utter ruthlessness and yet complete incompetence 139 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:24,120 and the scene in which he chops off Richard's head 140 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:30,120 is so perfect a demonstration of that, 141 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,640 that you don't need to know anything else about Blackadder. That is him. 142 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:40,880 That is the sort of stupid, venal and utterly counterproductive thing 143 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,080 that only someone like that would do. 144 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,880 Welcome back to Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments, 145 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,840 a compendium of comedy moments from history's favourite sitcom. 146 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:09,640 Our next moment is equal 39th, the first of several ties. 147 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,320 Now, where would Blackadder be 148 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,960 without his trusty sidekick, Baldrick? 149 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,800 A lot better off probably but there'd be a lot fewer laughs. 150 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,520 There's something British about him. The British love an underdog. 151 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,560 I was wondering if I might have the afternoon off. 152 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,800 You can have the afternoon off when you die. Not before. 153 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,800 My own personal market research leads me to believe 154 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,800 that Baldrick is the...is the hero. 155 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,280 I have a cunning plan... 156 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,640 It wasn't until the second series, 157 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,160 when Ben Elton joined the writing team, 158 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,680 that he had this idea - 159 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:53,840 Why don't we turn Baldrick into the stupidest, most brain-dead creature 160 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,880 that has existed in the whole course of human history? 161 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,720 There's a scene where he has a mousetrap on his head 162 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,200 and it's pure Tom and Jerry. 163 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,720 It could be Tom with Jerry, trying to catch Jerry 164 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,840 with cheese hanging there and some contraption. 165 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,240 Why have you got a piece of cheese tied to the end of your nose? 166 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,040 To catch mice, my lord. 167 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,720 I lie on the floor with my mouth open and hope they scurry in. 168 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,360 Do they? Not yet, my lord. 169 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,440 I'm not surprised. 170 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,840 Your breath comes straight from Satan's bottom, Baldrick. 171 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,680 I think it's funny but I also think, you know, that he was, you know, 172 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,760 a hero in many respects because he represented the working classes, 173 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,000 literally. 174 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,080 Sharing the dubious honour of being equal to Baldrick 175 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:46,960 is everyone's favourite pie-maker, the lovelorn Mrs Miggins. 176 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,480 No more sad little London for you, Balders. 177 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,680 From now on, you will stand out in life as an individual. 178 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,480 Will I? Well, of course you will. All the other slaves will be black. 179 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,560 LAUGHTER 180 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,080 Oh, Mr Blackadder! Oh, what's all this I hear 181 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,680 about you buying a bathing costume and 40 gallons of coconut oil? 182 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,680 Are you going abroad then, sir? 183 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:12,560 Yes. I'm off. Oh, sir! What a tragic end to all my dreams. 184 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,440 I'd always hoped that you'd settle down and marry me 185 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,920 and that together we might await the slither of tiny adders. 186 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,480 Actually it took me by surprise that Mrs Miggins, you know, 187 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,520 carried a candle for Blackadder. 188 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,960 Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth 189 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,520 I'd be trying to start a family with Baldrick. 190 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,200 SHE CRIES 191 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,520 I just love the despair and the tortured agony. 192 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:47,400 I still receive tons of fan mail for Mrs Miggins 193 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,680 and it just constantly amazes me, the fan base that's out there. 194 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,760 So much so, that I think I'm going to start thinking about opening 195 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,880 a cake or pie shop in the not so distance future. 196 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,440 The joke's on Blackadder in this Series Two moment 197 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,080 featuring his crafty arch-rival for the royal affection. 198 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,480 It's Queenie's fawning favourite, Lord Melchett, 199 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,000 played with consummate sliminess by Stephen Fry. 200 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,400 Majesty! Surely not? 201 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,760 You utter creep. 202 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,200 Melchett is tolerated. He's not very exciting. 203 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,720 He's sort of like a grand vizier without the wisdom, really. 204 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,360 He's just sort of uncle. 205 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,520 Bye. 206 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,800 A part of the queen liked having people saying nice things to her 207 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,800 but the other part of her realised that it was just silly old Melchett 208 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,200 and was not sexy like Blackadder, didn't make her scream 209 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,600 when he walked into a room. 210 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:57,920 Oh, silly old Edmund! He was completely fooled. 211 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,640 It's a brilliant trick, Melchett. 212 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,520 Ah, brilliant, ma'am! 213 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,680 And now I'm going to have you executed. 214 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,880 She never delivered a line the way we expected her to, never once. 215 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,560 They were always better. 216 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,720 This insane character that she produced 217 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,160 obviously flattered the script enormously. 218 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,320 The script was quite funny but without her insane Queenie, 219 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,120 it's obviously it couldn't possibly have been anything like as good. 220 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,800 It's for taking the mickey out of my beloved Edmund so cruelly. 221 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,120 I'm gonna knock your block off. 222 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,880 'Queenie's absolutely immature and she's always had her way' 223 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:42,120 and she's greedy and rapacious and threatening and everything. 224 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,680 Dame Flora Robson, Bette Davis, 225 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,760 Glenda Jackson... 226 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,240 Helen Mirren... 227 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,200 Cate Blanchett, 228 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,720 Judi Dench, have all played Queen Elizabeth I. 229 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,040 None of them played her as well as Miranda Richardson. 230 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,440 Oh, please! I so want to live! 231 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,680 HE SOBS 232 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,880 SHE LAUGHS 233 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,920 ALL LAUGH 234 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,160 There is that element of comeuppance 235 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,720 where you delight in the person 236 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,520 being brought down to earth. 237 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,200 ALL LAUGH 238 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:25,600 Oh, praise the Lord for the gift of laughter. 239 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,400 The look on his face when he realises he's been had 240 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,160 is between I want to kiss you and I want to kill you 241 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,080 and it's just a beautiful moment. 242 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,160 The Prince Regent thinks 243 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,840 the Duke of Wellington's after him and has a plan. 244 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,520 He's going to become the butler 245 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,120 and Blackadder will become the Prince Regent. 246 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,400 There's no alternative. We must swap clothes. 247 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,520 Oh, fantastic yes, dressing up, I love it. 248 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,360 It's like that story, the Prince And The Porpoise. 249 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,120 And The Pauper. 250 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,280 Oh, yes, yes. The Prince and the Porpoise and the Pauper. 251 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,080 LAUGHTER 252 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,880 He was just gorgeously stupid. 253 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,440 Why, my own father wouldn't recognise me! 254 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,480 Your own father never can, he's mad. Oh, yes. Yes. 255 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,600 I loved Your Highness, Your Highness 256 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,200 because it shows, in a very neat way, 257 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,520 class distinction. 258 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,400 Unfortunately, sir, you realise 259 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,640 I shall have to treat you like a servant? 260 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,480 Oh, I think I can cope with that, thank you! 261 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,240 And you have to get used to calling me Your Highness, Your Highness. 262 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,760 Your Highness, Your Highness. 263 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,240 No. Just Your Highness, Your Highness. 264 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,040 That's what I said. Your Highness, Your Highness. 265 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,760 Your Highness, Your Highness. 266 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,480 Yes, let's just leave that for now. Complicated stuff, obviously. 267 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,080 When Hugh plays stupid there is nothing behind the eyes 268 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:53,080 so, you know, we took, I think we took Percy, 269 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:58,400 who hadn't been clever, and scooped out the final teaspoonful of brains 270 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,840 and presented, um...Hugh Laurie. 271 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,040 He can do this extraordinary thing in which his eyes 272 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,480 just take on a slight film of stupidity and you know that 273 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:12,600 no phrase you can utter, no truth you can express, 274 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,960 and no matter how simply done, can penetrate that film. 275 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,040 It's just closed. 276 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,280 But what...who...where...how? 277 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,080 Don't try to work it out, Baldrick. 278 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,240 Two people you know have exchanged coats 279 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,240 and now you don't know which is which. 280 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,400 I'm pretty confused myself! 281 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,960 It still makes me giggle because it was just clever. 282 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,160 ALL: Yes! 283 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,080 Edmund starts singing a song about a little goblin, they get distracted. 284 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,720 On any other day Edmund would have been scheming, 285 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,680 Because he's had a drink all he wants to do is sing about the goblin. 286 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,840 Wait... 287 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,440 I'm sure there was something very important 288 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,520 I had to do to all of you this morning. 289 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,840 ALL: Wahay! 290 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,800 Wasn't it something about ten thousand florins was it? 291 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,520 I think it was something about an inheritance. 292 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,840 Do you lot want to hear about this goblin or not? 293 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,400 ALL: Yes! 294 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,120 Right. Well, perhaps this time 295 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,480 I might be allowed to continue and perhaps finish with any luck. 296 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,920 Blackadder, drunk, singing an appalling little song 297 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:34,240 and who should appear from under Miranda's skirts 298 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,440 than Miriam Margolyes with her hat sort of like that. 299 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,440 Luck! Wahay, get it? 300 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,000 ALL: No. 301 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,160 Oh, come on. Luck. 302 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,320 There is a play on words at the end 303 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,840 which you may not be able to show before the watershed. 304 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,880 HE CHUCKLES 305 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,920 And Miriam Margolyes is back as the queen herself 306 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,560 in the Blackadder Christmas carol. 307 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:12,480 Queen Victoria, that is. What are you doing Albert? 308 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:17,640 Nothing. Oh, yes, you are, you naughty German sausage. 309 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:22,920 That's always an absolute treat, to work with her on and off camera. 310 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,200 I mean she's a complete delight. 311 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:28,960 Tell me what you're doing. I just said, I'm not doing anything. 312 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,920 While you're busy ruling India, you don't tell me what you're doing. 313 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,480 Jim Broadbent's doing a very, very good German accent. 314 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,160 So why should I tell you what I am doing when I am busy 315 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,800 wrapping up this cushion for your surprise Christmas present? Ooh! 316 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,640 Damn. 317 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,960 He is a brilliant comic artist and that has gone on, 318 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:54,360 he's, you know, he's one of our ornaments to our profession. 319 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,640 I love surprises. 320 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:03,880 Christmas without surprises is a nut without a nutcracker, 321 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,720 which is why I have bought you this surprise nutcracker... 322 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,120 Damn. Damn. 323 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:15,240 He's sort of... sort of stupid but he's doing it 324 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,280 because he adores her and he's so excited about the idea 325 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,640 of surprising her and it's just adorable. 326 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,040 HE SPEAKS GERMAN 327 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,720 ..for it is for precisely such an outing as this 328 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,640 that I have brought you my finest surprise present. 329 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,720 This muff, which I am going to give you tomorrow... Damn. 330 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,320 I had no memory of filming it or having seen 331 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,600 it and it came as a complete surprise and it did strike me, 332 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:44,120 and I'm not, I don't laugh very readily at my own performances, 333 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,080 but it did actually make me laugh! 334 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,720 You know what would cheer you up and that's a Charlie Chaplin film. 335 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,000 Oh, I love old Chappers. Don't you Cap? 336 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,720 Unfortunately, no I don't. 337 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,040 You're not allowed to say that Charlie Chaplin's not funny. 338 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,400 Because he's a classic. 339 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,080 I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck 340 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,200 and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it. 341 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,120 Funny as an arrow through the neck. That's clearly not very funny. 342 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,640 With a gas bill attached? Now that's good. 343 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,760 Let's consult the men for a casting vote. Baldrick? Sir? 344 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,200 Charlie Chaplin. What do you make of him? 345 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,360 Oh, he's as funny as a vegetable 346 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,720 that's grown into a rude and amusing shape, sir. 347 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,520 So you agree with me. Not at all funny. 348 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,320 Oh, come on, skipper! Play fair. 349 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,800 In that last film of his when he kicked that fellow in the backside, 350 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:39,840 I thought I'd die. 351 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,240 If that's your idea of comedy we can provide our own 352 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,840 without expending a ha'penny for the privilege. Do you find that funny? 353 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,440 One of the things I love about Series Four is that, strangely, 354 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,800 I think Baldrick gained meaning. 355 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,080 You know, he'd just been a fool and a butt the whole way through 356 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,480 but there was a remarkable thing happened at the end of that series 357 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,120 when he did suddenly seem to represent the working man, 358 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:10,000 a kind of innocent, who, due to the stupidity of everybody above him, 359 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,360 is going to die. 360 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,480 I think that was rather unexpected 361 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,040 in the same way and in a funny way, George also represented 362 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,960 the tragedy of posh people thrown to war like Rudyard Kipling's son. 363 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,200 Chaplin is a genius. He certainly is a genius, George. 364 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,240 He invented a way of getting paid a million dollars a year 365 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,320 for wearing a pair of stupid trousers. 366 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,160 Did you find that funny Baldrick? What funny, sir? 367 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:41,360 Welcome lads. Well, this is the stuff, eh? 368 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,520 Christmas, sherry and charades with honest manly fellows. 369 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,240 What can I do with a girl that I can't do with you? 370 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,360 I cannot conceive, sir. 371 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,120 Yes, well there's that I suppose. 372 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,920 Now, who's first? I'd asked old Horatio here 373 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:59,080 but he's out of it, so it's the little monkey fellow first, is it? 374 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,840 It is indeed. Oh, excellent. Oh, I love charades. 375 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,480 He's a clown. He is just there, trying to play. 376 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,040 "Oh, wouldn't this be fun. 377 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,160 "This is great fun, good fellows all playing together", 378 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,680 and he cannot get this right. 379 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,400 It's a book. Well, done, Mr B. 380 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,640 I didn't think you'd get it that quickly. 381 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,680 Yes, I must say, that was damn clever. 382 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,720 You know, it was an absolutely perfect triangle really, 383 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,840 that Blackadder has a... 384 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,360 ..a cretin as a master and a cretin as a servant 385 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,840 and he's stuck in between this in a cretinous triangle. 386 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,320 Yes, another great Christmas tradition - 387 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,400 Explaining the rules eight times to the thicky twins. 388 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,520 The round hasn't in fact started yet. 389 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,920 Baldrick and George are pretty much the same character 390 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,400 by different mothers. 391 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,760 I think one had a royal mother, 392 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,840 the other one, I don't know, some sort of pig beast. 393 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,520 It's got to be a specific book. 394 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,760 If it was the Bible then I'd go like that 395 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,240 to indicate that there are two syllables. 396 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,640 Two what? Two syllables. 397 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,920 Two silly bulls? 398 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,560 Not in the Bible! I can remember a fatted calf 399 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,440 but as I recall that was quite a sensible animal. 400 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:11,760 Oh, ah...is it, um, Noah's ark with the two pigs, two ants 401 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,440 and two silly bulls? 402 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,040 Two syll-A-bles. What? 403 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,520 Look, we're getting confused. Let's start again. No, let's not. 404 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,480 I think the game's getting a bit sill-a to be honest. 405 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,560 How about a Christmas story? Oh, what a good idea, sir. 406 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,840 Blackadder himself, a deeply frustrated man. 407 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,560 A sort of lower middle class, very brilliant 408 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,080 but in the world of Britain, never really going to get very far. 409 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,040 Cleverer, in his opinion, than the people who by birth 410 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,560 have done better than him. 411 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,000 You know, some real honesty I think in the performances which is, 412 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,280 as I say, the key to great comedy. 413 00:22:55,730 --> 00:22:58,410 Welcome back to Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments, 414 00:22:58,570 --> 00:23:03,090 chosen by the cast, crew, famous fans and 15 actual Blackadders. 415 00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:05,050 Yes, they really do exist. 416 00:23:07,090 --> 00:23:08,930 My favourite line from Blackadder is 417 00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:11,530 when he comes down the stairs and Baldrick says, 418 00:23:11,650 --> 00:23:12,690 "Good morning, Mr B", 419 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:16,290 and Blackadder says, "Baldrick, if I'd wanted to talk to a vegetable 420 00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:17,450 "I'd have bought one". 421 00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:20,770 I thought it was very funny when Baldrick decides 422 00:23:20,930 --> 00:23:23,650 to make coffee out of mud and his dandruff. 423 00:23:28,770 --> 00:23:31,970 I shall require my most splendid garments for the ceremony. 424 00:23:32,090 --> 00:23:34,370 Certainly, my lord. Hat, my lord? 425 00:23:34,490 --> 00:23:35,890 Trojan, I think. 426 00:23:36,010 --> 00:23:37,530 Boots, my lord? The Italian. 427 00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:40,090 And codpiece, my lord? 428 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,650 Well, let's go for the black Russian. 429 00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:47,210 One of the things that made Blackadder so superb was the amount 430 00:23:47,330 --> 00:23:48,610 of research that went in, 431 00:23:48,770 --> 00:23:50,730 both to the props and to the costumes. 432 00:23:50,890 --> 00:23:55,250 There were an awful lot of extraordinary codpieces around. 433 00:24:01,210 --> 00:24:04,370 STUDIO LAUGHTER 434 00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:08,610 It was just wonderful to see this curly penis, 435 00:24:08,770 --> 00:24:11,650 brilliantly made by costume department, 436 00:24:11,770 --> 00:24:13,970 woggling on the front of Rowan. 437 00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:17,650 The contradiction of a weed with a whopper. 438 00:24:23,610 --> 00:24:25,810 You're dressed like a... 439 00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:29,010 Like what, sorry? Well, this enormous nonsense here. 440 00:24:29,130 --> 00:24:30,210 PING! 441 00:24:30,370 --> 00:24:33,090 You've got this fantastic sound effect, 442 00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:36,850 that should have been in a Benny Hill sketch, 443 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:40,770 of it going duh-duh-duh... Well, this enormous nonsense here. 444 00:24:40,890 --> 00:24:41,970 PING! 445 00:24:47,050 --> 00:24:48,810 I love, love, love Percy. 446 00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:52,850 Percy? My lord? Can you think of another best man? 447 00:24:53,010 --> 00:24:57,210 What happens in the second series is suddenly the dialogue 448 00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,010 gets all very crisp and punchy 449 00:24:59,170 --> 00:25:03,290 and you've got tremendous silliness but actually it's all held together 450 00:25:03,450 --> 00:25:05,810 by very dignified, very strong performances. 451 00:25:05,970 --> 00:25:09,490 You're going to have Rowan as this incredibly cool guy 452 00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:11,810 and Percy as this ludicrous twit. 453 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:14,850 Edmund, Edmund, come quickly, the queen wants to see... 454 00:25:15,010 --> 00:25:16,610 What are you wearing round your neck? 455 00:25:16,770 --> 00:25:20,690 Percy, who had a very, very fine wardrobe all the way through 456 00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:22,690 and it's when he comes in 457 00:25:22,850 --> 00:25:26,290 with a new ruff that he says is the talk of the Court. 458 00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:30,450 It's my new ruff. You look like a bird who swallowed a plate, Percy. 459 00:25:30,610 --> 00:25:34,930 There were real absurd fashions at the time, where things 460 00:25:35,090 --> 00:25:39,290 were taken to huge extremes so it's not so outlandish an idea. 461 00:25:39,410 --> 00:25:41,090 It's the latest fashion actually 462 00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,890 and as a matter of fact it makes me look rather sexy. 463 00:25:44,050 --> 00:25:47,050 To another plate-swallowing bird perhaps. 464 00:25:47,210 --> 00:25:50,490 If it was blind and hadn't had it in months. 465 00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:54,330 Tim McInnerny's the only actor in Britain who can take off, 466 00:25:54,490 --> 00:25:57,050 pull off, that sounds quite rude, a ruff. 467 00:25:57,170 --> 00:26:00,210 He can pull off a ruff that big. 468 00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:01,450 That sounds terrible, 469 00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:05,250 but you know with his physicality and you know he does look like a bird. 470 00:26:05,370 --> 00:26:07,210 I think you may be wrong. 471 00:26:07,370 --> 00:26:09,570 You're a sad laughable figure, aren't you? 472 00:26:09,730 --> 00:26:15,690 I remember Richard Curtis once saying that Tim has the mind and the voice 473 00:26:15,850 --> 00:26:20,610 of Laurence Olivier but he has the face and the neck of an ostrich. 474 00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:28,210 Aargghhh. What's that? 475 00:26:28,330 --> 00:26:31,010 To Tilbury, me hearties! 476 00:26:31,130 --> 00:26:32,890 The wind is in the sails, 477 00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:38,330 the oars are in the rowlocks and we must away! 478 00:26:38,490 --> 00:26:42,770 Lady, it is my captain. Long on beard, short on legs. 479 00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:48,090 Captain Red Beard Rum, who's Tom Baker, who is magnificent. 480 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,050 He gets wheeled in. "Long on beard, short on legs". 481 00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:55,410 Oh, Captain, I wish you luck from the bottom of my heart. 482 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:58,690 You have a woman's bottom, my lady! 483 00:26:59,770 --> 00:27:02,610 He's my favourite Dr Who so I'm working with, you know, 484 00:27:02,770 --> 00:27:05,850 it was a fabulous week. It's one of my favourite weeks. 485 00:27:06,010 --> 00:27:09,770 I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been 486 00:27:09,930 --> 00:27:14,730 forced 'twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. 487 00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:19,370 Certainly hasn't and I'm quite pleased about it. 488 00:27:19,530 --> 00:27:23,170 Baker's appearance is an absolute joy to behold. 489 00:27:23,290 --> 00:27:25,370 That voice booming through. 490 00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:29,570 Anyway, what's wrong with women's bottoms? Not big enough, ma'am. 491 00:27:30,930 --> 00:27:32,850 Mine might be. 492 00:27:34,290 --> 00:27:38,970 Anyone who pays attention to her in a slightly flirtatious or sexy way, 493 00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:40,850 she crumbles with delight. 494 00:27:41,010 --> 00:27:43,690 I think she thinks he's quite extraordinary, 495 00:27:43,810 --> 00:27:45,050 even if he is legless. 496 00:27:45,210 --> 00:27:48,450 I know I'm only a bluff old cove with no legs 497 00:27:48,610 --> 00:27:50,570 and a beard you could lose a badger in, 498 00:27:50,690 --> 00:27:51,810 but if you'll take me 499 00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:54,650 I'm willing to be captain of your ship forever. 500 00:27:54,810 --> 00:27:57,290 When she got overexcited she would throw, 501 00:27:57,450 --> 00:28:01,970 she throws her hands to her face in a really obscure but childlike way 502 00:28:02,090 --> 00:28:04,330 which is perfect for that moment. 503 00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:05,690 What do you say? 504 00:28:05,810 --> 00:28:08,410 Oh, yes, please. 505 00:28:08,570 --> 00:28:13,050 I'll be back. We'll all be back. Ah-hah! 506 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,210 Mildred the cat, of course, is funny 507 00:28:20,370 --> 00:28:22,690 because much of the secret of Blackadder 508 00:28:22,810 --> 00:28:24,850 is built upon the idea of hierarchy. 509 00:28:25,490 --> 00:28:27,090 CAT MEOWS 510 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:31,770 It is just funny, that noise. Meow! It's just funny. 511 00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:35,370 CAT MEOWS 512 00:28:35,530 --> 00:28:39,250 Sir, poor little Mildred the cat, what has he ever done to you? 513 00:28:39,410 --> 00:28:41,210 It is the way of the world, Baldrick. 514 00:28:41,370 --> 00:28:44,610 The abused always kick downwards. I'm annoyed, so I kick the cat, 515 00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:48,450 the cat pounces on the mouse, and finally the mouse... Ow. 516 00:28:48,570 --> 00:28:50,090 ..bites you on the behind. 517 00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:53,890 I think Baldrick puts up with all the physical and mental torture 518 00:28:54,050 --> 00:28:56,850 that he receives from Blackadder because he thinks 519 00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:58,490 that's the way of the world. 520 00:28:58,610 --> 00:29:01,170 He suffers pain and he accepts it 521 00:29:01,330 --> 00:29:05,850 because that's what people do to people like Baldrick. 522 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:08,570 He doesn't notice it most of the time. 523 00:29:08,730 --> 00:29:12,970 It takes a very long time for pain to get from any part of his body 524 00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:16,370 up to his brain and by the time it gets there it's tired 525 00:29:16,530 --> 00:29:18,970 and doesn't really register very much. 526 00:29:20,210 --> 00:29:23,370 What do I do? Nothing. You are last in God's great chain. 527 00:29:23,530 --> 00:29:28,130 Unless, of course, there's an earwig around here you'd like to victimise. 528 00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:32,570 Finally, we discover that there's somebody even lower than Baldrick. 529 00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,370 MUSIC: "Flash" by Queen 530 00:29:39,530 --> 00:29:45,890 And now, steel yourselves ladies, it's Lord Flashheart. 531 00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:50,050 He blasted onto screen in Series Two but makes this surprise return 532 00:29:50,210 --> 00:29:53,570 in an appropriate trench coat in Series Four. 533 00:29:53,690 --> 00:29:56,570 Ah... Hah! Eat knuckle, Fritz! 534 00:29:58,050 --> 00:30:00,410 How disgusting, a Boche on the sole of my boot. 535 00:30:00,570 --> 00:30:03,330 The sheer opposite of his character from Rowan's, 536 00:30:03,490 --> 00:30:06,170 both in the narrative terms and as performers, 537 00:30:06,290 --> 00:30:07,770 made it a fabulous contrast. 538 00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:10,730 Two of the most talented comic performers of their day 539 00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:12,450 facing off against each other. 540 00:30:12,610 --> 00:30:14,650 I'll have to find some grass to wipe it on. 541 00:30:14,810 --> 00:30:16,770 I'll get shunned in the officers' mess. 542 00:30:16,970 --> 00:30:20,370 "Sorry about the pong. Trod on a Boche and can't get rid of the whiff". 543 00:30:20,530 --> 00:30:24,650 It was very boysie sort of stuff but I think a lot of women, 544 00:30:24,770 --> 00:30:26,610 like myself, loved it too. 545 00:30:26,730 --> 00:30:28,530 Do you think we could dispense 546 00:30:28,690 --> 00:30:31,890 with the hilarious doggy doo metaphor for a moment? 547 00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:34,010 I'm not a Boche. It's a British trench. 548 00:30:34,130 --> 00:30:36,050 Is it? Oh, that's a piece of luck! 549 00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:38,090 Thought I'd landed sausage side. 550 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:44,810 The imperturbable debonair suavity of Rowan's character, "oh, God", 551 00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:47,130 would be his response to this enormous, 552 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:49,050 "shut up, bang 'em", from Rick. 553 00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:52,730 If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves. 554 00:30:52,890 --> 00:30:54,970 I wouldn't want them on my conscience - 555 00:30:55,090 --> 00:30:56,650 they want to be on my face! 556 00:30:56,810 --> 00:30:58,450 He's everything Blackadder wants to be. 557 00:30:58,610 --> 00:31:01,250 He's a hero, he's brave, stylish, 558 00:31:01,370 --> 00:31:03,250 and that's why Blackadder hates him. 559 00:31:03,410 --> 00:31:05,690 I dumped the kite on the proles so send a car. 560 00:31:05,850 --> 00:31:08,770 General Melchett's driver. She hangs around with the big knobs 561 00:31:08,930 --> 00:31:10,970 so she'll be used to a fellow like me. Woof woof! 562 00:31:11,130 --> 00:31:14,250 I was working with Rick very closely at the time on The Young Ones 563 00:31:14,370 --> 00:31:15,770 and Filthy Rich and Cat Flap. 564 00:31:15,930 --> 00:31:18,130 It was written specifically with him in mind 565 00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:19,970 and I thought it was brilliant. 566 00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:23,770 Do you think you could make your obscene phone calls somewhere else? 567 00:31:28,850 --> 00:31:33,890 In another fine performance, here's Hugh Laurie acting the perfect fool 568 00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:36,770 as the Prince Regent, a dim bulb indeed. 569 00:31:36,890 --> 00:31:39,010 I'm a gay bachelor, Blackadder! 570 00:31:39,170 --> 00:31:43,610 I'm a roarer, a rogerer, a gorger and a puker. 571 00:31:43,770 --> 00:31:47,210 Hugh's Prince Regent perhaps should be celebrated more. 572 00:31:47,370 --> 00:31:51,250 I mean a truly brilliant performance of a foppish regency idiot. 573 00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:53,530 Right, so what's the plan? 574 00:31:53,690 --> 00:31:55,530 I thought I could take her a short note 575 00:31:55,690 --> 00:31:57,810 expressing your honourable intentions. 576 00:31:57,930 --> 00:31:59,410 Yes. Yes, I think so too. 577 00:31:59,530 --> 00:32:01,890 All right then, well take this down. 578 00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:06,690 From His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood. 579 00:32:06,850 --> 00:32:10,050 Prince Regent, played by Hugh Laurie so fantastically well, 580 00:32:10,170 --> 00:32:11,530 was totally inept at wooing 581 00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:13,410 and trying to write a love letter. 582 00:32:13,570 --> 00:32:17,770 Tally-ho, my fine saucy young trollop. Your luck's in. 583 00:32:17,930 --> 00:32:22,490 Trip along here with all your cash and some naughty night attire 584 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:27,410 and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now till Christmas, 585 00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:28,570 you lucky tart. 586 00:32:28,730 --> 00:32:31,050 Ben and Richard had written fantastic jokes 587 00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:34,290 and some great opportunities to shout and pull faces 588 00:32:34,450 --> 00:32:37,010 which is sort of what I do, or what I did at the time. 589 00:32:37,170 --> 00:32:39,530 I've moved on since then. Oh, yes. I've grown. 590 00:32:39,690 --> 00:32:42,770 Yours with the deepest respect etc, signed George. 591 00:32:42,890 --> 00:32:44,730 PS - Woof woof! 592 00:32:44,890 --> 00:32:48,010 That utter thickness was something that was fun 593 00:32:48,170 --> 00:32:51,810 to put Blackadder against and different from Miranda's, 594 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:55,290 you know, sort of dangerous childishness. 595 00:32:55,450 --> 00:32:58,250 And Hugh is so good as a performer in that. 596 00:32:58,410 --> 00:33:00,970 There were bits that I once said to him in rehearsal, 597 00:33:01,090 --> 00:33:02,250 "Hugh you're a genius". 598 00:33:02,410 --> 00:33:06,090 I don't understand why you're not a famous Hollywood star! Now he is. 599 00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:11,650 Well, what do you think? It's very moving, sir. 600 00:33:11,810 --> 00:33:15,810 Would you mind if I change just one tiny aspect of it? Which one? 601 00:33:15,930 --> 00:33:17,410 The words. 602 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:22,450 Hugh Laurie's utterly brilliant but utterly historically inaccurate 603 00:33:22,570 --> 00:33:24,370 portrayal of the Prince Regent 604 00:33:24,490 --> 00:33:26,650 is fantastic, but it's ridiculous. 605 00:33:26,810 --> 00:33:29,770 The Prince Regent was 49 when he became Prince Regent 606 00:33:29,890 --> 00:33:31,170 and had a 50 inch waist. 607 00:33:31,330 --> 00:33:33,810 Hugh Laurie is very young and very thin. 608 00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:37,730 Strangely the only thing they have in common, the things they picked up on 609 00:33:37,890 --> 00:33:40,890 is the Prince Regent was almost definitely pretty thick. 610 00:33:41,050 --> 00:33:43,650 He was also unbelievably profligate. 611 00:33:43,810 --> 00:33:46,050 I'll leave the details to you, Blackadder. 612 00:33:46,210 --> 00:33:48,730 Just make sure she knows I'm all man... 613 00:33:48,850 --> 00:33:50,770 with a bit of animal thrown in! 614 00:33:50,890 --> 00:33:53,450 Certainly, sir. 615 00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,770 Think of that haggard figure in House 616 00:33:56,930 --> 00:33:59,530 and you think, is it really the same guy? 617 00:33:59,690 --> 00:34:02,050 But, of course, he's just a terrific actor 618 00:34:02,210 --> 00:34:04,010 with a natural flair for comedy. 619 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:12,530 Now here's Hugh again, playing another prince 620 00:34:12,690 --> 00:34:14,890 who might also be a little over bred - 621 00:34:15,010 --> 00:34:17,490 the evil Ludwig from Series Two. 622 00:34:17,650 --> 00:34:22,450 Forgive me, Herr Blackadder. I have been neglecting my duties as a host. 623 00:34:22,610 --> 00:34:25,730 When he reveals himself and you see it's Hugh Laurie you get excited. 624 00:34:26,090 --> 00:34:29,010 Please accept my apo-logies. 625 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:35,730 Rowan is inside a torture machine where the spikes point outwards 626 00:34:35,890 --> 00:34:39,890 which must be the softest torture machine in the world. 627 00:34:41,530 --> 00:34:46,810 I accept nothing from a man who imprisons his guests in a commode. 628 00:34:46,970 --> 00:34:51,370 This mad German with, as ever with Hugh, he managed to find a voice 629 00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,890 which is very unexpected. 630 00:34:55,690 --> 00:35:00,890 I hope this scum...has not incon-wee-nienced you. 631 00:35:01,050 --> 00:35:03,930 It takes more than a maniac trying to cut off my goolies 632 00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:05,730 to incon-WEE-nience me. 633 00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:09,010 It's very much like a parody, a very funny parody, 634 00:35:09,170 --> 00:35:12,730 of this sort of Bond villain, you know, has trapped Bond 635 00:35:12,890 --> 00:35:15,250 and he's going to say, "yes, I expect you to die", 636 00:35:15,410 --> 00:35:19,130 and then there's this ludicrous kind of arch bit of dialogue between them. 637 00:35:19,290 --> 00:35:21,970 Good. If he had incon-wee-nienced you 638 00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:25,210 I was going to offer you his tongue. 639 00:35:25,370 --> 00:35:28,610 Believe me, sir, if he had incon-wee-nienced me 640 00:35:28,770 --> 00:35:32,530 you would not have a tongue with which to make such an offer. 641 00:35:32,650 --> 00:35:34,610 Let me assure you, Herr Blackadder, 642 00:35:34,770 --> 00:35:38,130 if I no longer had a tongue with which to make such an offer 643 00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:41,330 you would no longer have a tongue with which to tell me 644 00:35:41,450 --> 00:35:43,330 that if I had incon-wee-nienced you 645 00:35:43,490 --> 00:35:47,810 I would no longer have a tongue with which to offer you his tongue. 646 00:35:47,930 --> 00:35:50,690 Yes, well, enough of this banter. 647 00:35:55,770 --> 00:35:57,490 The puritanical aunt is there 648 00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:00,570 and Blackadder's terribly nervous about upsetting her 649 00:36:00,730 --> 00:36:03,770 but he's been going totally out of it, playing silly games. 650 00:36:04,850 --> 00:36:07,930 Blackadder arrives with the, erm, 651 00:36:08,090 --> 00:36:11,930 the erm, what are they? Stag party or slapstick boobs. 652 00:36:13,930 --> 00:36:15,610 Sorry about that. 653 00:36:15,730 --> 00:36:20,450 HE COUGHS 654 00:36:21,610 --> 00:36:24,410 Sorry, he's sick. 655 00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:27,570 Leprosy. Of the brain. 656 00:36:27,690 --> 00:36:29,730 What he is trying to tell you 657 00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:33,250 is that you appear to be wearing a pair of devil's dumplings. 658 00:36:33,970 --> 00:36:38,850 It's the only time I've ever seen someone do a double take downwards, 659 00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:41,970 where he notices this pair of breasts 660 00:36:42,130 --> 00:36:45,290 and then, oh, they really are breasts. 661 00:36:47,650 --> 00:36:49,850 Oh, my God, my ear muffs have fallen down. 662 00:36:52,930 --> 00:36:54,890 It's getting... would you like a pair? 663 00:36:55,050 --> 00:36:57,650 It's getting rather cold. No thank you. 664 00:36:57,810 --> 00:37:02,930 There's no doubt in my mind that Rowan is a comic genius. 665 00:37:03,090 --> 00:37:06,770 Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics. 666 00:37:07,930 --> 00:37:10,170 Quite. Which reminds me, Aunty... 667 00:37:10,290 --> 00:37:12,010 Don't call me aunty! 668 00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:15,570 An aunt is a relative and relatives are evidence of sex 669 00:37:15,730 --> 00:37:19,250 and sex is hardly a fitting subject for the dinner table. 670 00:37:19,370 --> 00:37:21,810 Or, indeed, any table. 671 00:37:22,090 --> 00:37:24,490 Except perhaps a table in a brothel. 672 00:37:25,850 --> 00:37:29,210 There is something so absurd about somebody walking around 673 00:37:29,370 --> 00:37:31,450 with a pair of false boobs on their head 674 00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:34,010 that if you can't, if you can't see the joke, 675 00:37:34,170 --> 00:37:36,210 erm, there's something wrong with you. 676 00:37:48,590 --> 00:37:51,910 Welcome back to our catwalk of cunning moments 677 00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:55,390 with an early celebration of French fashion and Parisian chic. 678 00:37:55,550 --> 00:38:00,150 This was way back before Dior and Chanel had made their mark. 679 00:38:00,270 --> 00:38:02,510 Obviously. 680 00:38:07,630 --> 00:38:10,190 If we are to stand any chance of survival in France 681 00:38:10,350 --> 00:38:13,390 we shall have to dress as the smelliest lowlife imaginable. 682 00:38:13,510 --> 00:38:14,910 Oh, yes? What sort of thing? 683 00:38:15,070 --> 00:38:18,190 Well, sir, let me show you our Paris collection. 684 00:38:18,350 --> 00:38:22,110 Baldrick is wearing a sheep's bladder jacket 685 00:38:22,270 --> 00:38:25,430 with matching dung-ball accessories. 686 00:38:25,590 --> 00:38:28,270 Hair by Crazy Meg of Bedlam Hell... 687 00:38:28,430 --> 00:38:34,350 To have Baldrick swaying in, sashaying his way into the room 688 00:38:34,510 --> 00:38:38,710 as a model in a sort of fashion show was just a lovely idea. 689 00:38:38,870 --> 00:38:42,830 Notice how the overpowering aroma of rotting pilchards 690 00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:46,070 has been woven cunningly into the ensemble. 691 00:38:46,230 --> 00:38:48,830 Baldrick, when did you last change your trousers? 692 00:38:48,990 --> 00:38:51,670 I have never changed my trousers. Thank you. 693 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:54,550 What does that say about the citizens of this country, 694 00:38:54,710 --> 00:38:57,030 that they would take Baldrick to their heart? 695 00:38:57,190 --> 00:38:59,430 He's not only stupid, he's incontinent. 696 00:38:59,590 --> 00:39:02,030 You see the ancient Greeks, sir, wrote in legend 697 00:39:02,150 --> 00:39:03,310 of a terrible container 698 00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:05,830 in which all the evils of the world were trapped. 699 00:39:05,990 --> 00:39:09,150 How prophetic they were. All they got wrong was the name. 700 00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:14,270 They called it Pandora's box but they meant Baldrick's trousers. 701 00:39:14,430 --> 00:39:18,910 They certainly can get a bit whiffy, there's no doubt about it. 702 00:39:23,950 --> 00:39:26,710 Come on George. With 50,000 men getting killed a week, 703 00:39:26,830 --> 00:39:28,310 who's going to miss a pigeon? 704 00:39:29,830 --> 00:39:33,110 You shot my Speckled Jim! 705 00:39:33,270 --> 00:39:35,990 Melchett in Series Four is a very different character 706 00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:36,910 to the one in Two. 707 00:39:37,030 --> 00:39:39,030 He was much, much more aggressive, 708 00:39:39,150 --> 00:39:41,430 much more insane, much more powerful. 709 00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:45,750 I call my first witness, General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett. 710 00:39:45,870 --> 00:39:48,750 Ah, hmm. 711 00:39:48,870 --> 00:39:50,430 Clever, clever! 712 00:39:50,590 --> 00:39:53,030 The episode where Melchett presides over a court 713 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:56,030 is a great parody of Britishness cos we like to believe 714 00:39:56,190 --> 00:39:59,830 that we play by the rules and it was all very gentlemanly 715 00:39:59,990 --> 00:40:02,190 and everyone had a right to a decent trial 716 00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:06,110 but actually it's just clearly as arbitrary as any mad despotism is. 717 00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:09,630 So there's a court but it's just a rigged trial, it's a joke. 718 00:40:09,750 --> 00:40:11,590 General... 719 00:40:11,750 --> 00:40:15,790 did you own a lovely, plump, speckly pigeon 720 00:40:15,950 --> 00:40:20,070 called Speckled Jim which you hand reared from a chick 721 00:40:20,230 --> 00:40:23,430 and which was your only childhood friend? 722 00:40:23,550 --> 00:40:25,150 Yes. Yes, I did. 723 00:40:25,310 --> 00:40:29,870 Did Captain Blackadder shoot the aforementioned pigeon? Yes, he did. 724 00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:33,310 Can you see Captain Blackadder anywhere in this courtroom? 725 00:40:33,470 --> 00:40:36,590 That's him. That's him. That's the man! 726 00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:39,950 No more questions, sir. Splendid, excellent, first class. 727 00:40:40,110 --> 00:40:42,470 Howl, howl, howl. Oh, well, can't be helped. 728 00:40:42,630 --> 00:40:46,150 I enjoyed those sort of turning on a sixpence emotionally things 729 00:40:46,270 --> 00:40:47,230 that Melchett did. 730 00:40:47,390 --> 00:40:52,070 I therefore have absolutely no hesitation 731 00:40:52,230 --> 00:40:55,550 in announcing that the sentence of this court 732 00:40:55,710 --> 00:40:57,990 is that you, Captain Edmund Blackadder, 733 00:40:58,150 --> 00:41:02,190 be taken from this place and suffer death by shooting tomorrow at dawn. 734 00:41:02,310 --> 00:41:04,310 Do you have anything to say? 735 00:41:06,590 --> 00:41:09,230 Yes. Could I have an alarm call, please? 736 00:41:14,350 --> 00:41:17,950 As far as I recall it was Stephen who came up with the name Darling, 737 00:41:18,110 --> 00:41:21,270 which I think is one of the truly great Blackadder jokes. 738 00:41:21,390 --> 00:41:22,830 What do you want, Darling? 739 00:41:25,070 --> 00:41:29,510 Doing Darling was a kind of, a way of, um... 740 00:41:29,670 --> 00:41:33,070 hoping people might forget a little bit about Percy. 741 00:41:33,230 --> 00:41:37,350 Yes, no, that was a fruitful contribution. 742 00:41:37,470 --> 00:41:39,350 One of the very few from Stephen Fry 743 00:41:39,470 --> 00:41:41,430 who was generally a waste of space. 744 00:41:41,590 --> 00:41:45,350 We actually had a vote just before the technical crew came in. 745 00:41:45,510 --> 00:41:47,590 Is this Darling joke going to run very dry 746 00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:50,110 and is it going to seem really embarrassing 747 00:41:50,270 --> 00:41:52,470 after the third episode or will it sustain? 748 00:41:52,630 --> 00:41:54,510 Tim said, "oh, please let me keep it." 749 00:41:54,670 --> 00:41:58,110 Don't worry, Darling. I intend to interview suspects immediately. 750 00:41:59,710 --> 00:42:01,670 This is ridiculous, Blackadder. 751 00:42:01,830 --> 00:42:05,830 Darling is being completely unfairly interrogated and tortured 752 00:42:05,990 --> 00:42:09,790 by Blackadder and, as often with Blackadder, it's extremely silly. 753 00:42:09,950 --> 00:42:12,070 He's tied up in this ridiculous comedy rope 754 00:42:12,190 --> 00:42:13,350 with a potty on his head. 755 00:42:13,510 --> 00:42:15,430 You can't suspect me, I've just arrived! 756 00:42:15,590 --> 00:42:18,830 The first rule of counter-espionage, Darling - suspect everyone. 757 00:42:18,990 --> 00:42:23,430 I shall be asking myself some pretty searching questions later on. 758 00:42:23,590 --> 00:42:26,750 Tell me, what is the colour of the Queen's favourite hat? 759 00:42:26,870 --> 00:42:30,670 How the hell should I know? I see. 760 00:42:30,830 --> 00:42:34,670 You can see the relationship between them was very strained, 761 00:42:34,790 --> 00:42:36,310 had always been strained 762 00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:38,670 Part of the thing that we worked on in that 763 00:42:38,790 --> 00:42:40,790 was Blackadder didn't like Darling. 764 00:42:40,950 --> 00:42:44,870 Darling was this horrible little spotty oik who had managed 765 00:42:44,990 --> 00:42:47,030 to avoid being in the trenches. 766 00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:50,630 Who is the German head of state? Kaiser Wilhelm, obviously! 767 00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:53,470 So you're on first name terms with the Kaiser, are you? 768 00:42:53,590 --> 00:42:55,750 What did you expect me to say? 769 00:42:55,870 --> 00:42:58,190 Darling, Darling, shhh... 770 00:42:59,470 --> 00:43:00,550 Cigarette? 771 00:43:00,710 --> 00:43:02,950 He plays good cop for a second, Blackadder. 772 00:43:03,110 --> 00:43:05,470 He gives Darling a cigarette, lights it.... 773 00:43:05,590 --> 00:43:07,150 Darling has a few puffs. 774 00:43:07,310 --> 00:43:09,190 There's an amazing bit of comic timing 775 00:43:09,350 --> 00:43:12,510 and then Blackadder bats it out of his mouth, plays bad cop again. 776 00:43:14,030 --> 00:43:15,950 All right you stinking piece of crap. 777 00:43:16,110 --> 00:43:18,750 I beg your pardon? Shut your cake hole, I know you. 778 00:43:18,910 --> 00:43:21,310 Tell me von Darling, what finally won you over? 779 00:43:21,470 --> 00:43:24,910 Was it the pumpernickel or was it the thought of hanging around 780 00:43:25,030 --> 00:43:26,750 with big men in leather shorts? 781 00:43:26,870 --> 00:43:28,590 I'll have you court-martialled! 782 00:43:28,750 --> 00:43:30,550 For obeying the general's orders? 783 00:43:30,710 --> 00:43:33,510 That may be what you do in Munich, or should I say Munchen? 784 00:43:33,670 --> 00:43:36,710 But not here! You're a filthy hun spy, aren't you? 785 00:43:36,870 --> 00:43:40,670 Baldrick, the cocker spaniel, please. No. No, wait... 786 00:43:40,830 --> 00:43:43,230 A marvellous moment to see Blackadder doing it. 787 00:43:43,390 --> 00:43:48,510 We want him to have revenge on this pencil-pushing, cowardly idiot 788 00:43:48,630 --> 00:43:50,350 and he does it. 789 00:43:50,510 --> 00:43:54,390 I was born in Croydon. Educated at Icklethorpe primary school. 790 00:43:54,510 --> 00:43:56,630 I've got a girlfriend called Doris. 791 00:43:56,790 --> 00:43:59,670 I know the words to all three verses of God Save The King. 792 00:43:59,830 --> 00:44:02,230 Four verses. Four verses. I meant four verses. 793 00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:05,350 Tim, being a wonderful actor, knew how to play someone 794 00:44:05,510 --> 00:44:08,750 who all his life had been called Darling in a sarcastic way 795 00:44:08,870 --> 00:44:10,550 and he had that look in his eye. 796 00:44:10,670 --> 00:44:12,790 Good luck, Blackadder. 797 00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:15,110 Why, thank you, Darling. 798 00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:20,430 The twitch stayed with me for months actually. It was really difficult. 799 00:44:20,590 --> 00:44:22,670 I did get quite scared it would never go 800 00:44:22,830 --> 00:44:25,910 and that I'd have to write my own spin-offs 801 00:44:26,070 --> 00:44:28,870 cos I couldn't get rid of the twitch and I'd never get another job. 802 00:44:33,990 --> 00:44:36,590 Blackadder is expecting the Whiteadders, 803 00:44:36,710 --> 00:44:38,950 who are some puritanical relations, 804 00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:42,470 and there's some sort of legacy involved so he has to impress them. 805 00:44:42,590 --> 00:44:46,190 Greetings! How nice to see you. 806 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:49,390 They arrive with these crosses... crosses on their heads. 807 00:44:50,430 --> 00:44:52,430 Wicked child, don't lie! 808 00:44:52,550 --> 00:44:54,630 Everyone hates us and you know it. 809 00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:57,630 For a Jew, as I am, to be covered in crosses... 810 00:44:57,750 --> 00:44:59,750 was a complex experience. 811 00:44:59,910 --> 00:45:03,830 There's probably a few... popes watching that, going, 812 00:45:03,950 --> 00:45:05,590 "That's not a bad idea". 813 00:45:05,750 --> 00:45:08,070 May I introduce my friend, Lord Percy? 814 00:45:09,950 --> 00:45:11,270 Well, well, well, Eddie! 815 00:45:11,430 --> 00:45:14,110 You didn't tell me you had such a good-looking aunt. 816 00:45:14,230 --> 00:45:16,310 Miriam is wonderful in that role 817 00:45:16,470 --> 00:45:20,510 and then when she starts slapping people, which is completely absurd, 818 00:45:20,670 --> 00:45:24,310 as if you'd be so religious that you'd go round slapping people. 819 00:45:24,470 --> 00:45:27,950 I know what I like and I like what I see. 820 00:45:28,070 --> 00:45:30,030 Be gone, Satan! 821 00:45:30,190 --> 00:45:32,670 There's just something hilarious about the way 822 00:45:32,790 --> 00:45:34,550 she gives his cheeks a pounding. 823 00:45:34,710 --> 00:45:38,510 Every time Tim McInnerny opens his mouth 824 00:45:38,630 --> 00:45:40,070 he gets a good slap. 825 00:45:40,230 --> 00:45:43,630 I guess she would say that there's no way of really faking it. 826 00:45:43,750 --> 00:45:45,510 Be gone, Satan. 827 00:45:45,630 --> 00:45:47,790 But it really hurt, actually. 828 00:45:47,910 --> 00:45:48,830 Wicked child! 829 00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:51,990 In rehearsal Rowan got a bit fed up with this 830 00:45:52,110 --> 00:45:53,870 and actually, it was very funny. 831 00:45:54,030 --> 00:45:56,510 He said, "would it be all right, please, Miriam, 832 00:45:56,670 --> 00:45:58,670 "if you didn't just do it quite so hard?" 833 00:45:58,790 --> 00:46:00,150 Wicked child! 834 00:46:00,310 --> 00:46:03,310 One of my all-time favourite episodes. 835 00:46:03,470 --> 00:46:08,230 People remember it, people come up to me and quote bits of, 836 00:46:08,390 --> 00:46:11,550 bits of the text, which is delightful. 837 00:46:16,630 --> 00:46:18,630 What do they call you? Bob. 838 00:46:19,950 --> 00:46:23,550 In our next moment, Blackadder is distressed 839 00:46:23,710 --> 00:46:27,790 and confused to find himself lusting after his manservant, Bob. 840 00:46:30,190 --> 00:46:33,030 But is Bob really that sort of boy? 841 00:46:39,430 --> 00:46:43,350 There's something very frisky about everything to do with Bob. 842 00:46:43,470 --> 00:46:45,310 It's something so hilarious 843 00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:49,950 about a proud character like Blackadder making such a bad mistake. 844 00:46:50,110 --> 00:46:52,710 I find you curiously pleasant company, young Bob. 845 00:46:52,870 --> 00:46:56,910 Rowan won't mind me saying that he has in real life a slight 846 00:46:57,070 --> 00:47:00,710 and entirely erotically splendid, stutter, or stammer, 847 00:47:00,870 --> 00:47:03,230 I never know quite which is which, 848 00:47:03,350 --> 00:47:06,110 and particularly on the letter B 849 00:47:06,270 --> 00:47:10,510 which makes him say words like "Bob" very funny. 850 00:47:10,630 --> 00:47:13,630 Good night, Bob. 851 00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,830 Good night, my lord. 852 00:47:15,990 --> 00:47:18,390 I've known people who can do better Os 853 00:47:18,550 --> 00:47:21,150 but his Bs, beginning and ending Bs - 854 00:47:21,270 --> 00:47:24,710 un...beatable. 855 00:47:25,790 --> 00:47:28,310 Bob. I've got something very important to say to you 856 00:47:28,470 --> 00:47:30,510 and I want you to listen carefully. Yes? 857 00:47:30,670 --> 00:47:33,510 Rowan looked gorgeous in Blackadder II. 858 00:47:33,670 --> 00:47:37,510 I think the little goatee beard thing and the costume was... 859 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:40,870 yeah, very, very dashing. He looked terribly dashing. 860 00:47:41,030 --> 00:47:46,830 I want you to leave my service and become my live-in chum. 861 00:47:46,950 --> 00:47:49,310 Oh, my lord. 862 00:47:49,470 --> 00:47:52,830 I want to make it clear that I am in no way interested 863 00:47:52,950 --> 00:47:54,950 in the contents of your tights. 864 00:47:55,110 --> 00:47:57,830 You might be, my lord, if you knew what I kept in them. 865 00:47:57,950 --> 00:47:59,510 Ah, ha! I flatter myself, Bob, 866 00:47:59,670 --> 00:48:02,030 that I know what a gentleman keeps in his tights 867 00:48:02,150 --> 00:48:03,190 thank you very much. 868 00:48:03,350 --> 00:48:07,750 It's wonderfully played by Gabby Glaister and the awkwardness 869 00:48:07,910 --> 00:48:12,270 of Blackadder dealing with this young boy he's in love with 870 00:48:12,390 --> 00:48:14,270 is just glorious. 871 00:48:14,390 --> 00:48:16,950 Prepare to be amazed. 872 00:48:18,590 --> 00:48:21,230 Oh, no. You haven't got one of those birthmarks 873 00:48:21,350 --> 00:48:23,790 shaped like a banana have you? No. 874 00:48:23,950 --> 00:48:28,630 Or...or a...or a tattoo saying "get it here"? No. 875 00:48:28,790 --> 00:48:33,510 You then you get this bizarre musical, sort of, trill 876 00:48:33,670 --> 00:48:36,150 which overscores her showing of her bosoms. 877 00:48:36,270 --> 00:48:38,830 FLUTE TRILL PLAYS 878 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:40,390 Ah... 879 00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:43,710 "Hoo hoo hoo", like that, to go, she's showing her bosoms. 880 00:48:43,870 --> 00:48:46,550 And you can't believe it but it absolutely works. 881 00:48:46,670 --> 00:48:48,030 Good lord. 882 00:48:51,270 --> 00:48:54,190 So what was all that Bob stuff about, then? 883 00:48:54,350 --> 00:48:56,390 You would have used me and cast me aside 884 00:48:56,510 --> 00:48:58,190 like you have so many women before. 885 00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:01,550 Ha. Would I? Yes. 886 00:49:01,710 --> 00:49:05,270 But now you've had a chance to grow to love me for what I really am. 887 00:49:05,430 --> 00:49:10,510 Yes, that's true. And now I want to marry you, Bob. 888 00:49:16,470 --> 00:49:20,390 Our next moment features one of TV's great comedy duos 889 00:49:20,550 --> 00:49:23,750 in a characteristically over the top moment. 890 00:49:24,310 --> 00:49:28,350 It was great having Ade Edmondson, on the other half of Bottom, 891 00:49:28,510 --> 00:49:30,790 to play Flashheart's oppo in the, um, 892 00:49:30,910 --> 00:49:33,150 in the Royal Flying Corps episode. 893 00:49:35,270 --> 00:49:37,670 Not so fast, Blackadder! 894 00:49:37,830 --> 00:49:40,510 Oh, damn, foiled again. What bad luck! 895 00:49:40,670 --> 00:49:44,550 Ah, and the Lord Flashheart. This is indeed an honour. 896 00:49:44,710 --> 00:49:48,390 They were seen in those day, Rick and Ade, from as different, 897 00:49:48,550 --> 00:49:51,150 not a different generation or a different class, 898 00:49:51,270 --> 00:49:53,350 cos we're all graduate humour really, 899 00:49:53,510 --> 00:49:57,070 but they were alternative whereas us lot were more mainstream. 900 00:49:57,230 --> 00:50:00,150 Or not mainstream but from a tradition of Footlights, 901 00:50:00,310 --> 00:50:02,990 the Oxbridge humour I suppose which one can't deny it, 902 00:50:03,110 --> 00:50:04,470 which they were not from, 903 00:50:04,630 --> 00:50:08,070 so for them to be involved as well was a particular pleasure. 904 00:50:08,230 --> 00:50:12,470 Finally the two greatest gentlemen flyers in the world meet. 905 00:50:12,670 --> 00:50:19,910 Two men of honour who have jousted together in the cloud-strewn glory of the skies, face to face at last. 906 00:50:20,110 --> 00:50:24,070 It's what we've seen in many films or the way we imagine those war aces were, 907 00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:27,030 the kind of, the Red Baron versus whoever we could offer, 908 00:50:27,190 --> 00:50:30,230 Biggles or someone like that and they respect each other. 909 00:50:30,390 --> 00:50:32,470 At any other time, they may even be friends 910 00:50:32,590 --> 00:50:34,230 if weren't for this blasted war. 911 00:50:34,390 --> 00:50:37,550 How often I have rehearsed this moment of destiny in my dreams. 912 00:50:37,710 --> 00:50:41,030 Some First World War pilots regarded themselves as these knights 913 00:50:41,190 --> 00:50:43,990 so again, a nice little joke about the historical record. 914 00:50:44,190 --> 00:50:49,110 The valour we two encapsulate, the unspoken nobility of our comradeship... 915 00:50:49,230 --> 00:50:50,310 GUNSHOT 916 00:50:50,430 --> 00:50:52,350 What a poof! 917 00:50:52,470 --> 00:50:54,710 Come on! We're out! 918 00:50:56,590 --> 00:50:58,830 To then just get a bullet and "what a poof" 919 00:50:58,990 --> 00:51:01,710 and off they go, I think is one of the great moments. 920 00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:10,390 Darling? Sir! No, no. Sit, sit, sit, sit. 921 00:51:10,550 --> 00:51:14,990 My final scene with Stephen before going to the front line 922 00:51:15,150 --> 00:51:20,870 was brilliant. I mean, it is... it is very funny but it's awful. 923 00:51:21,030 --> 00:51:24,630 This is a commission for the frontline, sir. Yes. 924 00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:28,150 I've been awfully selfish, Darling, keeping you back here 925 00:51:28,310 --> 00:51:31,350 instead of letting you join in the fun and games. 926 00:51:31,510 --> 00:51:34,630 This will let you get to the frontline immediately. 927 00:51:34,790 --> 00:51:39,390 You know, Tim's a very fine actor and so is Stephen and just that 928 00:51:39,550 --> 00:51:44,550 idea of definitely condemning a man to death and not... 929 00:51:44,710 --> 00:51:49,310 him not being able to object was, you know, moving. 930 00:51:49,470 --> 00:51:52,790 There were a few things in that final episode that feel very apt. 931 00:51:52,910 --> 00:51:55,830 I don't want to go into battle. 932 00:51:55,990 --> 00:51:59,230 Without me. I know. But I'm too old, Darling. 933 00:51:59,390 --> 00:52:03,430 Darling's desperation and, you know, agony 934 00:52:03,550 --> 00:52:06,870 makes it, sadly, even funnier 935 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:09,030 and it is a very, very funny scene 936 00:52:09,190 --> 00:52:11,750 and it's heartbreaking at the same time. 937 00:52:11,870 --> 00:52:14,670 You're not listening, sir. 938 00:52:14,790 --> 00:52:16,910 I'm begging you, please. 939 00:52:17,030 --> 00:52:18,990 Brilliant, believable performance, 940 00:52:19,190 --> 00:52:23,710 though completely silly with Melchett wearing his ludicrous moustache grooming thing 941 00:52:23,870 --> 00:52:26,030 that they used to wear when they went to bed. 942 00:52:26,190 --> 00:52:29,870 For the sake of all the times I've helped you with your dickie bows 943 00:52:29,990 --> 00:52:31,910 and your dickie bladder, please. 944 00:52:32,070 --> 00:52:35,110 Melchett really isn't listening and doesn't understand, 945 00:52:35,270 --> 00:52:38,190 seem to understand, that he's sending him off to certain death. 946 00:52:38,390 --> 00:52:44,310 Don't make me... Make you go through the farewell de-bagging ceremony in the mess. 947 00:52:44,430 --> 00:52:46,110 No, I've spared you that too, 948 00:52:46,270 --> 00:52:48,910 you touchingly sentimental young booby. 949 00:52:49,070 --> 00:52:51,510 He represents the absolute insanity of the war. 950 00:52:51,670 --> 00:52:55,910 I mean, without being too pompous about Blackadder, it does, I think, 951 00:52:56,070 --> 00:52:59,390 illustrate perfectly the nature of that grotesque war, 952 00:52:59,550 --> 00:53:04,830 the genuine insanity, if you like, of the way the war was practiced, 953 00:53:04,990 --> 00:53:07,870 which for all, however it may have been justifiable, 954 00:53:08,030 --> 00:53:10,990 to us is now clear it was a moment of madness in human history 955 00:53:11,150 --> 00:53:13,270 that one would never want to repeat again. 956 00:53:13,470 --> 00:53:17,350 So it's wonderful, you've concentrated some of that madness into a single being. 957 00:53:17,510 --> 00:53:21,990 Look, no fuss, no bother, the driver is already here. 958 00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:26,830 But... No, no, not a word, Kevin. 959 00:53:26,950 --> 00:53:30,110 I know what you want to say. I know. 960 00:53:30,230 --> 00:53:32,110 It was also beautifully shot. 961 00:53:32,270 --> 00:53:36,630 I mean, long shadows and high camera angles, and it was brilliantly shot 962 00:53:36,750 --> 00:53:38,830 which added to the drama of it. 963 00:53:38,950 --> 00:53:43,630 Goodbye, Kevin Darling. Goodbye. 964 00:53:43,790 --> 00:53:46,150 I think it's a very special piece of comedy. 965 00:53:56,600 --> 00:54:00,800 Welcome back to our cunning countdown as selected by the Blackadder family 966 00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:05,600 including actual modern-day, living and breathing Blackadders. 967 00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,200 A couple of weeks ago, walking into a bank 968 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,240 and pretty much the guy took my details, laughed 969 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:16,040 and everyone in the bank, started singing the theme tune. Pretty embarrassing. 970 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:22,600 Blackadder refuses to be embarrassed next, as he digs himself out of a hole with astonishing dexterity. 971 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,120 The monk, who'd been having a hard drinking game with Blackadder, 972 00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,200 comes in and he is totally out of it and he does everything 973 00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,440 you really wouldn't expect a monk to do. 974 00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:42,280 MONK VOMITS 975 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:47,480 Great booze up, Edmund! 976 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:55,120 Do you know that man? Oh, yes. I do. 977 00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:58,800 Then can you explain what he meant by "great booze up"? 978 00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,280 'There's 20 seconds when he says nothing' 979 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,760 but you can see his mind working, you can see, 980 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,080 and it's comic genius where he's going, 981 00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:07,440 "well, well..." 982 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,920 and he does it for about 20 seconds and then goes, "yes, I can". 983 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,280 Yes, I can. 984 00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:19,000 He manages to worm his way out of this situation 985 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,480 through his sheer verbal gymnastics 986 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,880 and kind of amazing dry, articulate wit. 987 00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:32,440 My friend is a missionary and on his last visit abroad 988 00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:37,600 brought back with him the chief of a famous tribe. 989 00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:41,640 His name is Great Boo. 990 00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:46,200 He's been suffering from sleeping sickness 991 00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:51,640 and he's obviously just woken because, as you heard, 992 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,360 Great Boo's up. 993 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:54,600 Well, done Edmund. 994 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:58,520 And I think I'd just better go and visit him. Pers', over to you. 995 00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,520 Blackadder is one of the few sitcoms that addresses 996 00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:11,720 the great matters of state - religion, politics, war and peace. 997 00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:17,040 But it's not afraid to plunder the vegetable patch for a few extra laughs. 998 00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:20,040 Is the turnip surprise ready? 999 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,240 It's just... 1000 00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,000 THEY GIGGLE 1001 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,720 Then what is so funny? 1002 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:31,280 Well, my lord, while Baldrick and I were preparing the turnip surprise, 1003 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:32,760 we had a surprise. 1004 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:37,040 We came across a turnip that was exactly the same shape... 1005 00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:40,560 ..as a thingy. 1006 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,440 I love it when people get giggles 1007 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,960 and they were sniggering and tittering 1008 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:50,760 because they had found a turnip shaped like a thingy. 1009 00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,000 I can remember Ben Elton, 1010 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:56,400 who in many ways is an extraordinarily talented guy, 1011 00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,520 bouncing up to me and saying, 1012 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,440 "I've got a great idea, Tony, Baldrick loves turnips". 1013 00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,560 Minimum bribe level. 1014 00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:06,320 One turnip. 1015 00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,680 I said to him, what is so funny about turnips? 1016 00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:12,840 And he said, well, you know, the shape. 1017 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,040 They're like that and they go up to a point at the end. 1018 00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:20,720 And I said, "Ben that's parsnips." 1019 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,160 He said, "whatever, it's really funny, believe me". 1020 00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,000 A thingy? 1021 00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:30,520 Yeah. A great big thingy. 1022 00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,320 It was terrific. 1023 00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,680 Size is no guarantee of quality, Baldrick. 1024 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,440 Most horses are very well endowed 1025 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,560 but that does not necessarily make them sensitive lovers. 1026 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:44,600 I trust you have removed this hilarious item? Yes, my lord. 1027 00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:50,320 Good, because nothing's more likely to stop an inheritance than a thingy-shaped turnip. 1028 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:54,880 Absolutely, Edmund... But it was jolly funny! 1029 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,120 I found it particularly ironic, my lord, 1030 00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,040 because I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip. 1031 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,800 I'm a great hit at parties. Are you? 1032 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:08,400 Yeah, I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. 1033 00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:12,680 So he's actually got a turnip shaped penis. 1034 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,360 Takes a while to find that funny. 1035 00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:26,360 Right Baldrick, let's try again, shall we? This is called adding. 1036 00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:31,520 If I have two beans and then I add two more beans, 1037 00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:33,080 what do I have? 1038 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:34,480 Some beans. 1039 00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:39,720 This scene marks the big turning point for Baldrick. 1040 00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,960 Up until then he'd been the chipperest 1041 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:47,520 of the triumvirate of Percy, Blackadder and Baldrick. 1042 00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,560 He was the one who genuinely did have some idea 1043 00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,240 how they might get out of their scrapes. 1044 00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,200 But now we come to the beans 1045 00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:59,200 and the realisation that Baldrick can't even count. 1046 00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,240 Let's try again shall we? 1047 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,600 I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make? 1048 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,200 A very small casserole. 1049 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:11,200 The fact that Baldrick very rarely looks up at him. 1050 00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:13,960 You don't get your nice, you know, tilt of your head. 1051 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,040 He just keeps looking at the beans 1052 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:20,320 hoping that they are the ones that will furnish him with the answer. 1053 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,560 So if I add that one to the three what will I have? 1054 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:26,160 Oh. Some beans. 1055 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,800 Yes. To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something 1056 00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,360 that happened to other people, wasn't it? 1057 00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:36,760 It was just a very clever example of Blackadder and the Blackadder humour 1058 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,760 because it was just taking something tiny and making it very funny. 1059 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,160 Baldrick's back and he's making a cuppa. 1060 00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,640 Sadly, supplies are running thin. 1061 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,280 Time to improvise. 1062 00:59:53,440 --> 01:00:00,240 By the time we get to Series Four, Baldrick has no brain at all. 1063 01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:02,400 Baldrick, fix us some coffee, will you? 1064 01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:05,560 And try to make it taste slightly less like mud this time. 1065 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:09,480 Not easy I'm afraid, Captain. Why is this? Because it is mud. 1066 01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,120 We ran out of coffee 13 months ago. 1067 01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,680 So every time I've drunk your coffee since I have, in fact, 1068 01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,160 been drinking hot mud? 1069 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:19,560 With sugar. 1070 01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:23,440 In the original script, the only line was about the fact that the coffee 1071 01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,600 was made out of mud and then somebody said, why don't you have sugar? 1072 01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:29,600 Which makes all the difference(!) 1073 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:33,920 Well, it would do if we had any sugar but unfortunately we ran out 1074 01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:39,120 on New Year's Eve 1915, since when I've been using sugar substitute. 1075 01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:42,760 Which is? Dandruff. 1076 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,600 Brilliant. 1077 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,800 Coming up with what each vile ingredient was, 1078 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:53,080 it's always lovely in comedy when you set yourself a challenge. 1079 01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:56,520 So we've got some coffee. What's the coffee? What's the froth? 1080 01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:00,240 I could add some milk this time. Well, saliva. 1081 01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,960 No. No, thank you, Baldrick. 1082 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:07,080 Call me Mr Picky but I think I'll cancel coffee. 1083 01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:13,600 This is a fantastic scene 1084 01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:17,960 because it is a perfect demonstration 1085 01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:22,080 of the futility of human endeavour. 1086 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,680 Success! What? 1087 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:28,480 After literally an hour's ceaseless searching, 1088 01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:32,000 I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold. 1089 01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:33,920 Are you sure? Yes, my lord. 1090 01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,840 This is when the humour comes together perfectly, 1091 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,200 that winning formula of Blackadder being incredibly rude 1092 01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,320 to people that are just stupid. 1093 01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:46,160 They think they've created gold. It's a bunch of idiots. 1094 01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:47,960 Behold! 1095 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,280 Percy, it's green. 1096 01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:55,080 That's right, my lord. 1097 01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,040 Yes, Percy, I don't want to be pedantic or anything 1098 01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:01,720 but the colour of gold is gold. That's why it's called gold. 1099 01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:08,080 What you have discovered, if it has a name, is some green. 1100 01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:11,600 What a perfectly useless thing to create. Green. 1101 01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:14,240 Can it be true, 1102 01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:18,880 that I hold here in my mortal hand 1103 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,680 a nugget of purest green? 1104 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,800 Indeed you do, Percy, except, 1105 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,400 it's not really a nugget. More of a splat. 1106 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:32,440 Percy was so thrilled to have created this, this thing. 1107 01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:33,640 Well, yes. 1108 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,560 A splat today but tomorrow, 1109 01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,600 who knows or dares to dream? 1110 01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:44,560 So, we three alone in all the world can create the finest green at will. 1111 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:45,840 Just so. 1112 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:49,160 Not sure about counting in Baldrick, actually. 1113 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,920 You know what your great discovery means, Percy? 1114 01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:57,040 Perhaps, my lord. That you Percy, Lord Percy... 1115 01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:59,240 are an utter berk. 1116 01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,000 We could actually probably have made a fortune 1117 01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:03,880 by creating lots of bits of green 1118 01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,680 and selling them to the public. Maybe I still could. 1119 01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:17,160 I'd like to see the Spaniard who could make his way past me. 1120 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,040 Well, go to Spain, there are millions of them. 1121 01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,440 I'd like them to stay there. Keep their hands of our women. 1122 01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,440 Oh, god. Who is she this time? 1123 01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,880 I don't know what you mean. Ah! 1124 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,840 Ah, and who is Jane? 1125 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:39,320 I'm sworn to secrecy. Torture me, kill me, you shall never know. 1126 01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,280 Ow! Jane Harrington. 1127 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,680 Ah... We are very much in love, my lord. 1128 01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,480 This is THE Jane Harrington? Yes. 1129 01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:50,840 Jane "bury me in a Y-shaped coffin" Harrington? 1130 01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:53,680 And it's a lovely image. 1131 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,320 A Y-shaped coffin. It's just a fantastic image. 1132 01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:01,040 I think maybe there are two Jane Harringtons. 1133 01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,920 No? Tall, blond, elegant? 1134 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:07,520 That's right. Goes like a privy door when the plague's in town? 1135 01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:10,120 Bangs like a privy door when the plague's in town. 1136 01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,480 You know, the plague's in town, as if it just comes now and again. 1137 01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,000 You'll get over her. 1138 01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,280 I did. 1139 01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,360 His timing in it, it's... it's priceless. 1140 01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:27,120 So did Baldrick, actually. 1141 01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,320 Argh! 1142 01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,880 It's the combination of the visual and the timing and the words. 1143 01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:35,640 It's just, you know, all of those coming together. 1144 01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:37,400 Beautiful. Beautiful. 1145 01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:46,280 Still on a romantic theme, Blackadder shows his true colours 1146 01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:50,960 in this hilarious moment of pillow talk with Miranda Richardson, 1147 01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:52,200 reincarnated as Mary. 1148 01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,440 Queenie would have lopped his head off. 1149 01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:57,320 Do you have someone special in your life? 1150 01:04:57,480 --> 01:04:59,520 Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. 1151 01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:01,800 Who? Me. 1152 01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:06,040 There's absolutely no temptation here 1153 01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:09,960 that they're going to fall into a real romantic thing, 1154 01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:13,480 that, Blackadder's selfishness and thinking of himself 1155 01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:16,200 is really going to come first no matter what. 1156 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:20,600 No, I mean someone you love and cherish and want to keep safe 1157 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,080 from all the horror and the hurt. 1158 01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,480 Mmm...still me, really. 1159 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,760 They've obviously done the dirty deed and he's still 1160 01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:33,920 completely emotionally absent and self-involved. 1161 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:37,120 Though maybe, I don't know, maybe he's slightly wistful. 1162 01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,280 I've always been a soldier, married to the army. 1163 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,800 The book of king's regulations is my mistress, 1164 01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:46,280 possibly with a Harrods lingerie catalogue discreetly tucked 1165 01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:47,360 between the pages. 1166 01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:49,720 And no casual girlfriends? 1167 01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,880 Skirt? Ha! 1168 01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:56,800 If only. When I joined up we were still fighting colonial wars. 1169 01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:00,320 If you saw someone in a skirt you shot him and nicked his country. 1170 01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:05,200 That's just such a wonderfully simplistic and yet funny view 1171 01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,600 of the expansion of the British Empire. 1172 01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:09,040 Have you got a man? 1173 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:13,400 Some fine fellow in an English country village. A vicar, maybe? 1174 01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,080 Quiet, gentle... 1175 01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:16,880 hung like a baboon. 1176 01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:23,320 There was a man I cared for a little. 1177 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:28,320 Wonderful chap. Strong, atheletic. What happened to him? 1178 01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:30,360 He bought it. 1179 01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:34,120 I'm so sorry, I didn't realise that was the arrangement. 1180 01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,480 So what do you think now, 12 nights and let's say nine afternoons, 1181 01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:42,160 how much is...oh, and a couple of mornings... I mean he died. 1182 01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:44,640 There's an underlying bit of sadness about it 1183 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:48,080 which I think was, it goes all the way through the final series 1184 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:51,320 because of the circumstances and the era and the timing of it. 1185 01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:55,280 And the resonance of those scenes and how they would...actually have been, 1186 01:06:55,480 --> 01:07:01,080 you know, in those sort of relationships are always potentially quite fleeting. 1187 01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:10,040 When are we going to give Fritz a taste of our British spunk? 1188 01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:11,640 George, please. 1189 01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,640 A girl wouldn't have written that line 1190 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:16,680 but secretly girls find that funny. 1191 01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:20,360 You shouldn't find it funny and the fact that, I shouldn't say this, 1192 01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:22,000 but it comes out of his mouth. 1193 01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,360 No-one is more anxious to advance than I am 1194 01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:28,080 but until I get these communication problems sorted, we're stuck. 1195 01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,920 PHONE RINGS 1196 01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:31,720 Captain Blackadder speaking. 1197 01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:34,440 No, I'm afraid the line's very... 1198 01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,320 HE IMITATES WHITE NOISE 1199 01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,000 Hello? Hello, Captain Blackadder, hello? 1200 01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,800 Schnell, schnell, kartofelkopf... 1201 01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:49,440 In that sequence, Blackadder and Darling on the phone, 1202 01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,720 that was fun to do in front of the audience. 1203 01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:55,440 I said there's a terrible line at my end. 1204 01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:59,040 You're to advance on the enemy at once. 1205 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:04,480 He does this one where he sort of sticks his tongue out and goes... 1206 01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,080 for a bit too long. 1207 01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:10,120 HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY 1208 01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:20,800 (LOWERS VOICE) A wandering minstrel... Beep.... Gale force 8. 1209 01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:26,080 Come on, sir, what's the message? I'm on tenterhooks! 1210 01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:31,120 As far as I can tell the message was he's got a terrible lion up his end 1211 01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:35,120 so there's an advantage to an enema at once. Damn. 1212 01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:38,480 The idea that someone in an office can ring you up on the front 1213 01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:39,920 and say, "go to your death". 1214 01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:43,240 It's understandable that Blackadder shouldn't warm 1215 01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:44,760 to the character of Darling. 1216 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,160 In these circumstances, I wouldn't either! 1217 01:08:59,750 --> 01:09:04,270 Welcome back to our celebration of magnificent Blackadder moments. 1218 01:09:04,430 --> 01:09:08,830 We are well into the top ten now so although we've had treats already 1219 01:09:08,990 --> 01:09:12,870 I can safely predict that the moments are in all likelihood 1220 01:09:12,990 --> 01:09:14,990 going to get even more superb. 1221 01:09:19,990 --> 01:09:23,390 Miriam Margolyes plays a Spanish princess 1222 01:09:23,550 --> 01:09:26,590 who's perhaps more lusty than lovely. 1223 01:09:26,710 --> 01:09:29,590 Oh, well, you can't have it all. 1224 01:09:29,710 --> 01:09:31,430 SHE SPEAKS SPANISH 1225 01:09:31,590 --> 01:09:35,030 The main thing about the Spanish infanta is that she's hideously ugly 1226 01:09:35,190 --> 01:09:39,230 and I could have felt a bit peeved at being cast in this role 1227 01:09:39,390 --> 01:09:44,790 because although fat, I am charming and pleasant looking. 1228 01:09:44,950 --> 01:09:48,910 My favourite bit from Blackadder I, without exception, 1229 01:09:49,070 --> 01:09:51,790 and there were some very good bits to choose from, 1230 01:09:51,950 --> 01:09:54,670 was Jim and Miriam's Spanish interpreter saying, 1231 01:09:54,830 --> 01:09:57,390 "well, it's nice to talk about a ladies thing". 1232 01:09:57,550 --> 01:10:02,990 SHE TALKS SPANISH Well, this is nice. 1233 01:10:03,150 --> 01:10:06,590 The fact that he was slightly camp seemed to be, fall into place 1234 01:10:06,750 --> 01:10:10,710 from how it was written and the fact that it had the famous line, 1235 01:10:10,870 --> 01:10:14,830 "nice to have just a little talk just about the ladies things". 1236 01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:17,830 SHE TALKS SPANISH 1237 01:10:17,990 --> 01:10:21,550 To have a little talk about ladies things. 1238 01:10:21,670 --> 01:10:23,190 SHE TALKS SPANISH 1239 01:10:23,310 --> 01:10:24,270 Just the two of us. 1240 01:10:25,350 --> 01:10:31,110 Now, I'm a specialist in accents and I'm not quite sure... 1241 01:10:31,230 --> 01:10:33,750 I'm not quite sure 1242 01:10:33,910 --> 01:10:37,190 what accent Jim was employing. It doesn't matter. 1243 01:10:38,030 --> 01:10:39,710 SHE TALKS SPANISH 1244 01:10:39,870 --> 01:10:43,710 So tell me, Mrs Queen, about English men. 1245 01:10:44,790 --> 01:10:47,710 I've never worked out why it's so perfect 1246 01:10:47,870 --> 01:10:51,830 but I think it's that he mis-stresses every single word. 1247 01:10:51,990 --> 01:10:54,510 It's just a sort of astonishing technical feat 1248 01:10:54,670 --> 01:10:59,150 to get the rhythms of the English language so completely wrong. 1249 01:10:59,270 --> 01:11:01,710 Now Edmund. What's he like? 1250 01:11:01,830 --> 01:11:04,190 Well, I told you this morning. 1251 01:11:04,310 --> 01:11:07,670 THEY TALK IN SPANISH 1252 01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:12,190 No. What's he like in bed? 1253 01:11:12,350 --> 01:11:15,430 It's sort of his child-like delight at saying, 1254 01:11:15,590 --> 01:11:18,790 "and what's he like in bed", "in ba-eed". 1255 01:11:18,950 --> 01:11:23,830 Yes, in bed he likes hot milk with just a little tot of cinnamon. 1256 01:11:23,950 --> 01:11:25,830 No, no, no, no, no. 1257 01:11:25,950 --> 01:11:31,670 What IS he like? 1258 01:11:31,790 --> 01:11:34,390 Oh, well... 1259 01:11:34,510 --> 01:11:36,510 he's like a little rabbit, really. 1260 01:11:37,950 --> 01:11:40,470 SHE TALKS IN SPANISH AND LAUGHS 1261 01:11:40,630 --> 01:11:45,430 He translates to, "Oh, she thinks he shags like a rabbit". 1262 01:11:46,710 --> 01:11:48,830 SHE TALKS IN SPANISH 1263 01:11:48,990 --> 01:11:52,550 She got everything wrong because she's thinking of sex all the time 1264 01:11:52,710 --> 01:11:54,710 because she's a complete nymphomaniac 1265 01:11:54,830 --> 01:11:56,150 on the level of a dinosaur. 1266 01:11:56,310 --> 01:12:00,270 She would accept any twerp onto her bosom. She's that kind of lady. 1267 01:12:00,390 --> 01:12:04,430 SHE TALKS IN SPANISH 1268 01:12:04,590 --> 01:12:07,590 Oh, Mummy, Mummy, how much I love you. 1269 01:12:07,750 --> 01:12:11,990 The interpreter is one of the greatest comic moments on TV. 1270 01:12:17,110 --> 01:12:20,430 Right, sir, what do we do now? Shall I do my war poem? 1271 01:12:20,590 --> 01:12:23,110 How hurt would you be if I gave the honest answer, 1272 01:12:23,270 --> 01:12:26,510 which is, "no, I'd rather French kiss a skunk"? 1273 01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:30,310 So would I, sir. 1274 01:12:34,270 --> 01:12:35,310 OK, fire away. 1275 01:12:35,470 --> 01:12:38,670 He's like a kid at school on parent's day, just stood on stage 1276 01:12:38,830 --> 01:12:40,910 reciting his poem that he's so proud of. 1277 01:12:41,030 --> 01:12:44,470 This one is called The German Guns. 1278 01:12:44,590 --> 01:12:46,430 Oh, spiffing! Yes, let's hear that. 1279 01:12:47,710 --> 01:12:51,150 Boom, boom, boom, boom... 1280 01:12:51,310 --> 01:12:58,430 To see Ben parody the notion of the war poem into one word which is just 1281 01:12:58,590 --> 01:13:02,870 the sound of the damn guns going off I thought was a piece of brilliance. 1282 01:13:03,030 --> 01:13:06,430 The "boom, boom" song, I watched that with my kids and they loved it. 1283 01:13:06,590 --> 01:13:09,270 I thought it was a bit grim actually but there you go. 1284 01:13:09,390 --> 01:13:11,190 Erm, I mean, nicely performed. 1285 01:13:11,310 --> 01:13:14,070 Boom, boom, boom. 1286 01:13:14,190 --> 01:13:15,750 How could Baldrick write a poem 1287 01:13:15,910 --> 01:13:18,990 that had more than one syllable? It's just impossible. 1288 01:13:19,150 --> 01:13:22,590 Anything else would be... would be cheating the audience. 1289 01:13:22,710 --> 01:13:26,310 Boom, boom, boom, boom... 1290 01:13:26,430 --> 01:13:28,830 Boom, boom, boom? 1291 01:13:28,990 --> 01:13:31,870 How did you guess, sir? I say sir, that is spooky. 1292 01:13:32,030 --> 01:13:33,750 Sorry, I've got to get out of here! 1293 01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:36,790 I think I might have been judging a poetry competition 1294 01:13:36,950 --> 01:13:39,230 at my son's school and one of the boys, 1295 01:13:39,390 --> 01:13:42,630 they were doing you know Rudyard Kipling and Roger McGough 1296 01:13:43,550 --> 01:13:46,630 and lots of other serious long poems, 1297 01:13:46,790 --> 01:13:52,550 and then one of the boys stood up and said, "this poem is called War 1298 01:13:52,710 --> 01:13:56,830 "by S. Baldrick", and just said "boom" ten times. 1299 01:13:56,990 --> 01:14:01,310 I felt very proud. I didn't realise that I had contributed 1300 01:14:01,470 --> 01:14:05,830 to English culture in that way, or me or Ben or whoever came up with it. 1301 01:14:10,910 --> 01:14:12,590 There was a wedding going on. 1302 01:14:12,750 --> 01:14:14,630 Blackadder was going to marry Bob 1303 01:14:14,790 --> 01:14:18,030 and suddenly into the scene came this big huge character 1304 01:14:18,190 --> 01:14:22,470 just full of balls really, I suppose there's no other way to describe it! 1305 01:14:22,590 --> 01:14:25,390 It's me. Flash! 1306 01:14:25,510 --> 01:14:26,750 He explodes. 1307 01:14:26,870 --> 01:14:29,110 Flash by name, flash by nature. 1308 01:14:29,270 --> 01:14:32,710 The way he's dressed is just superb, like a hussar. 1309 01:14:32,830 --> 01:14:35,110 Hooray! Hooray! 1310 01:14:35,270 --> 01:14:38,430 It's amazing. Whatever he wears, what wig, the audience gasps. 1311 01:14:38,550 --> 01:14:39,870 He's got such braggadocio. 1312 01:14:41,590 --> 01:14:42,950 Who is that? 1313 01:14:43,070 --> 01:14:45,310 I don't know but he's in your place. 1314 01:14:45,470 --> 01:14:47,790 He picks him up and throws him out the door. 1315 01:14:50,670 --> 01:14:53,670 Thanks bridesmaid. Like the beard. 1316 01:14:53,790 --> 01:14:55,590 "Gives me something to hang onto". 1317 01:14:55,710 --> 01:14:59,030 Gives me something to HANG onto! 1318 01:14:59,190 --> 01:15:03,070 If you look at the scene you see everyone standing around on that set 1319 01:15:03,190 --> 01:15:04,910 looking completely amazed 1320 01:15:05,070 --> 01:15:07,950 at the force of nature that's arrived. 1321 01:15:08,110 --> 01:15:12,430 So, me old mate Eddie's getting hitched, eh? 1322 01:15:12,590 --> 01:15:16,190 What's the matter? Can't stand the pace of the in-crowd?! 1323 01:15:17,310 --> 01:15:20,430 Because Rick was so noisy, so determined that what he said 1324 01:15:20,590 --> 01:15:22,630 should be the funniest and the loudest 1325 01:15:22,790 --> 01:15:26,590 that it could possibly be, that Rowan just gently stepped back 1326 01:15:26,750 --> 01:15:29,750 during those weeks and did his homework in private 1327 01:15:29,910 --> 01:15:33,710 while we indulged Rick's magnificent firework personality 1328 01:15:33,870 --> 01:15:38,190 and then Rowan would step forward once Flashheart had buggered off. 1329 01:15:40,190 --> 01:15:41,350 Hi, Queenie. 1330 01:15:41,470 --> 01:15:44,550 The Queen of England just melts. 1331 01:15:44,670 --> 01:15:46,630 You look sexy. Woof! 1332 01:15:47,590 --> 01:15:51,110 But listen, wear your hair long. I prefer it that way. 1333 01:15:51,230 --> 01:15:53,030 I've got such a crush on him. 1334 01:15:53,190 --> 01:15:58,230 Your life is made better, for a moment, when Flash is there. 1335 01:15:58,350 --> 01:16:00,310 Woof! Nursie. 1336 01:16:00,430 --> 01:16:02,270 Nursie fancied him rotten. 1337 01:16:02,390 --> 01:16:05,670 I like it firm and fruity. 1338 01:16:06,790 --> 01:16:10,550 Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket? 1339 01:16:10,670 --> 01:16:12,190 Down boy, down! 1340 01:16:13,310 --> 01:16:16,470 Hot, red-blooded male, isn't he? He's alpha male. 1341 01:16:16,590 --> 01:16:19,230 Where's this amazing bird? 1342 01:16:19,390 --> 01:16:23,270 The one who stopped my old pal Eddie doing exactly whatever he wants 1343 01:16:23,390 --> 01:16:24,710 ten times a night. 1344 01:16:24,870 --> 01:16:29,670 Ah yes, Flash, let me introduce my...my fiancee, Kate. 1345 01:16:29,790 --> 01:16:31,950 Hi, baby. 1346 01:16:45,910 --> 01:16:49,030 Ah, she's got a tongue like an electric eel 1347 01:16:49,190 --> 01:16:52,270 and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils. 1348 01:16:52,430 --> 01:16:57,310 Flashheart, I think...I think we'd all like to be just a little bit. 1349 01:17:02,430 --> 01:17:05,990 In the episode in which Blackadder attempts 1350 01:17:06,150 --> 01:17:11,070 to demonstrate his insanity by using the word "wibble" all the time. 1351 01:17:11,190 --> 01:17:14,230 It's... It is preposterously funny. 1352 01:17:14,390 --> 01:17:19,430 This is a large crisis and a large crisis requires a large plan. 1353 01:17:19,590 --> 01:17:22,510 Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants. 1354 01:17:24,150 --> 01:17:27,870 Right, Baldrick, this is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan. 1355 01:17:28,030 --> 01:17:31,590 We tell HQ that I've gone insane and I'll be invalided 1356 01:17:31,750 --> 01:17:34,950 back to Blighty before you can say "wibble". 1357 01:17:35,110 --> 01:17:41,230 Rowan is a big one for the plosive, um, Ps and Bs are very... 1358 01:17:41,390 --> 01:17:45,110 I can't begin to do it. Why did I even try to do Rowan doing it? 1359 01:17:45,230 --> 01:17:47,150 I just like the word. Wibble. 1360 01:17:47,270 --> 01:17:49,470 Wibble. Wibble. Wibble. 1361 01:17:49,590 --> 01:17:50,510 Wibble. 1362 01:17:50,630 --> 01:17:53,150 Poor gormless idiot. 1363 01:17:53,270 --> 01:17:55,070 I'm a poor gormless idiot, sir 1364 01:17:55,230 --> 01:17:57,590 and I've never been invalided back to Blighty. 1365 01:17:57,750 --> 01:18:00,630 Yes, Baldrick. But you never said "wibble". 1366 01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:02,870 Now ask me some simple questions. 1367 01:18:02,990 --> 01:18:05,390 Right. What is your name? 1368 01:18:05,510 --> 01:18:09,030 Wibble. What is two plus two? 1369 01:18:09,150 --> 01:18:10,550 Oh, wibble wibble. 1370 01:18:10,670 --> 01:18:13,310 Where do you live? London. 1371 01:18:13,470 --> 01:18:17,190 Eh? A small village on Mars, just outside the capital city... 1372 01:18:17,310 --> 01:18:18,590 Wibble. 1373 01:18:18,790 --> 01:18:22,950 All men present and correct, sir. Ready for the off, eh? I'm afraid not. 1374 01:18:23,110 --> 01:18:26,350 I'm just off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers. 1375 01:18:26,510 --> 01:18:30,230 Come again, sir. Have you gone barking mad? 1376 01:18:30,390 --> 01:18:32,510 Yes, I have. Cluck, cluck, gibber, gibber, 1377 01:18:32,630 --> 01:18:34,270 my old man's a mushroom etc. 1378 01:18:35,070 --> 01:18:39,030 This irony that he is in the maddest, craziest situation 1379 01:18:39,150 --> 01:18:40,630 you could possibly be in 1380 01:18:40,790 --> 01:18:44,430 and yet he's trying to prove his madness to get out of it. 1381 01:18:49,510 --> 01:18:50,750 Stephen Fry comes on, 1382 01:18:50,910 --> 01:18:54,910 as always steals the show, and plays Wellington in the final episode. 1383 01:18:55,110 --> 01:18:59,830 They get his nose very right. They craft it to look exactly like the Duke of Wellington. 1384 01:18:59,990 --> 01:19:02,150 His nickname was Nosey because he had a huge nose. 1385 01:19:02,310 --> 01:19:05,030 And may the best man win... ie, me. 1386 01:19:05,190 --> 01:19:09,790 But the other thing that is so great I think, is Stephen's wig. 1387 01:19:09,950 --> 01:19:14,030 He looks so completely Georgian, so like how I imagine 1388 01:19:14,190 --> 01:19:18,030 the Duke the Wellington would have looked that it's plausible. 1389 01:19:19,230 --> 01:19:21,070 Your tea, sir. You're late! 1390 01:19:21,230 --> 01:19:25,230 Quite frightening when he gets a bit of a shout on. 1391 01:19:25,390 --> 01:19:28,390 That big booming, you know, just for no reason 1392 01:19:28,550 --> 01:19:32,430 he has to talk extremely loudly because he is Wellington. 1393 01:19:32,590 --> 01:19:35,030 Where the hell have you been, Florin? India? 1394 01:19:35,710 --> 01:19:39,190 The skill is not in the person punching or throwing the slap, 1395 01:19:39,350 --> 01:19:41,430 it's always in the person receiving it. 1396 01:19:41,550 --> 01:19:43,070 Anyone can do that or that. 1397 01:19:43,230 --> 01:19:47,710 It's the timing of your "ow", and Hugh is an absolute genius 1398 01:19:47,830 --> 01:19:48,910 at being hit. 1399 01:19:49,070 --> 01:19:52,150 I remember him arriving to do this...the violent stuff, 1400 01:19:52,310 --> 01:19:54,630 the slapstick stuff, with some trepidation 1401 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:58,310 because I've done things with Stephen before, physical things. 1402 01:19:58,470 --> 01:20:04,350 You know, when he's had to act punching me and...his acting... 1403 01:20:04,510 --> 01:20:07,950 How can I put it? He's punched me. He's just punched me. 1404 01:20:08,110 --> 01:20:11,590 Where the hell have you been? India? 1405 01:20:11,710 --> 01:20:13,310 Or Ceylon? 1406 01:20:14,670 --> 01:20:15,870 Or China?! 1407 01:20:17,630 --> 01:20:21,190 It's the force which he comes towards it and smashes that table 1408 01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:25,310 is so unexpected that it just, it works perfectly. 1409 01:20:25,470 --> 01:20:27,830 It's one of those jokes that you just go. 1410 01:20:27,950 --> 01:20:29,470 Or China? 1411 01:20:31,590 --> 01:20:33,590 And don't bother to show me the way out. 1412 01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:36,990 I don't want to die of old age before I get to the front door. 1413 01:20:37,150 --> 01:20:42,550 Stephen Fry obviously loved the idea because it's a great comic idea 1414 01:20:42,710 --> 01:20:45,750 that the upper classes aren't just rude to the lower classes 1415 01:20:45,870 --> 01:20:47,190 but hit them physically. 1416 01:20:52,310 --> 01:20:56,950 Dr Johnson, your highness. Ah, Dr Johnson! Damn cold day. 1417 01:20:57,110 --> 01:20:58,990 Indeed it is, sir, but a very fine one. 1418 01:20:59,150 --> 01:21:01,870 One of the joys of Blackadder was that every so often 1419 01:21:01,990 --> 01:21:04,190 Robbie Coltrane would join us. 1420 01:21:04,350 --> 01:21:08,510 Robbie Coltrane as Dr Johnson, in a truly brilliant performance. 1421 01:21:08,670 --> 01:21:11,870 I celebrated last night the encyclopaedic implementation 1422 01:21:12,030 --> 01:21:15,830 of my premeditated orchestration of demotic Anglo-Saxon. 1423 01:21:18,310 --> 01:21:20,110 No, didn't catch any of that. 1424 01:21:20,270 --> 01:21:24,950 There was a certain truth to it beyond the magnificent comedy. 1425 01:21:25,110 --> 01:21:29,790 Plus the script at the time that they gave him was brilliant. 1426 01:21:29,950 --> 01:21:34,190 It is witty, it is elegant and they play it to the hilt. 1427 01:21:34,350 --> 01:21:37,190 Well, I simply observe, sir, that I am felicitous since 1428 01:21:37,350 --> 01:21:40,150 during the course of the penultimate solar sojourn 1429 01:21:40,310 --> 01:21:43,510 I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation 1430 01:21:43,670 --> 01:21:46,510 of the vocabulary of our post-Norman time. 1431 01:21:48,630 --> 01:21:51,190 Well, I don't know what you're talking about 1432 01:21:51,350 --> 01:21:53,750 but it sounds damn saucy, you lucky thing! 1433 01:21:53,910 --> 01:21:56,910 I believe, sir, that the doctor is trying to tell you 1434 01:21:57,070 --> 01:21:59,790 that he is happy because he has finished his book. 1435 01:21:59,950 --> 01:22:02,270 It has apparently taken him ten years. 1436 01:22:02,390 --> 01:22:05,390 Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself. 1437 01:22:09,110 --> 01:22:12,110 It's a great example of Blackadder at its best, 1438 01:22:12,270 --> 01:22:15,110 which is, that it, you know, pricks pomposity. 1439 01:22:15,270 --> 01:22:21,830 This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language. Ooh... 1440 01:22:21,990 --> 01:22:24,350 Every single one, sir? Every single word, sir. 1441 01:22:24,510 --> 01:22:27,110 Oh, well in that case, sir, I hope you will not object 1442 01:22:27,270 --> 01:22:30,750 if I also offer the doctor my most enthusiastic contraphibularities. 1443 01:22:31,830 --> 01:22:36,870 What? Contraphibularities, sir? It is a common word down our way. 1444 01:22:37,030 --> 01:22:42,630 It is very much public schoolboy, um, undergraduate humour, isn't it? 1445 01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:44,910 It's all about words. 1446 01:22:45,030 --> 01:22:47,070 Damn! 1447 01:22:47,190 --> 01:22:48,550 Oh, I'm sorry sir. 1448 01:22:48,670 --> 01:22:50,510 I'm an aspeptic, phrasemotic... 1449 01:22:52,270 --> 01:22:56,310 ..even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation. 1450 01:22:57,510 --> 01:22:58,990 What, what, what? 1451 01:22:59,150 --> 01:23:01,630 The smugness and enjoyment with which Blackadder 1452 01:23:01,750 --> 01:23:03,510 is ruining Samuel Johnson's life. 1453 01:23:03,670 --> 01:23:05,830 This man spent ten years writing his dictionary 1454 01:23:05,990 --> 01:23:08,790 and Blackadder takes enormous pleasure knocking him down. 1455 01:23:08,950 --> 01:23:12,350 I'm sorry sir. I merely wished to congratulate the doctor 1456 01:23:12,510 --> 01:23:15,750 on not having left out a single word. 1457 01:23:15,910 --> 01:23:20,510 Blackadder cannot resist coming up with things to confound him. 1458 01:23:20,630 --> 01:23:23,190 It is his ability to snipe. 1459 01:23:23,350 --> 01:23:26,710 Something that we'd all like to have the bravery to do. Or I would. 1460 01:23:26,870 --> 01:23:29,750 Oh, if only I'd managed to, damn! If I was there again... 1461 01:23:29,910 --> 01:23:33,110 I'd do this, I'd say this... And he does it. He has the bon mot. 1462 01:23:33,230 --> 01:23:36,030 I shall return interfrastically. 1463 01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:54,200 Welcome back to the climactic part 1464 01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:56,880 of Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments. 1465 01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:00,480 And now our second most marvellous moment. 1466 01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:04,360 Not long to go now, Darling. 1467 01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:10,800 How do I look, Darling? 1468 01:24:10,960 --> 01:24:15,040 Girl-bait, sir. Pure bloody girl-bait! 1469 01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:18,320 We speak at cross purposes and it's rather touching 1470 01:24:18,480 --> 01:24:21,040 because I'm rehearsing my lines of love to Georgina 1471 01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:25,480 and he takes them personally and you know that he likes taking them personally. 1472 01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:28,560 It's all very weird and very British but highly enjoyable. 1473 01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:30,880 Moustache bushy enough? 1474 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:32,640 Like a privet hedge, sir. 1475 01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:38,720 Good because I want to catch a particularly beautiful creature in this bush tonight. 1476 01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:40,920 Wherever Stephen goes he travels 1477 01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:44,520 with a small packet of double entendre in his wallet 1478 01:24:44,640 --> 01:24:47,120 which he can whip out... 1479 01:24:47,240 --> 01:24:49,600 at a moment's notice. 1480 01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:52,520 I know exactly what I'll say to her. Darling... 1481 01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:55,120 Yes, sir? 1482 01:24:55,240 --> 01:24:56,800 What? Um. I don't know, sir. 1483 01:24:56,920 --> 01:24:58,800 Well, don't butt in. Sorry, sir. 1484 01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:00,920 Such a simple joke but it is, 1485 01:25:01,080 --> 01:25:05,080 it is irresistible and it works over and over again. 1486 01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:06,960 I want to make you happy, darling. 1487 01:25:07,080 --> 01:25:09,280 Well, that's very kind of you, sir. 1488 01:25:09,400 --> 01:25:10,880 Will you stop interrupting? 1489 01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:13,280 Listen, or else how can you tell me what you think? 1490 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,040 I want to make you happy, darling. 1491 01:25:15,200 --> 01:25:17,560 I want to build a nest for your ten tiny toes. 1492 01:25:17,720 --> 01:25:21,800 I want to cover every inch of your gorgeous body in pepper 1493 01:25:21,960 --> 01:25:26,080 and then sneeze all over you. Really sir, I must protest. 1494 01:25:26,240 --> 01:25:29,080 That realisation on his face and them him considering, 1495 01:25:29,240 --> 01:25:31,720 "actually that's not much, I could live with that 1496 01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:33,960 "as long as I don't have to go to the front." 1497 01:25:34,080 --> 01:25:36,280 What is the matter with you, Darling? 1498 01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:40,840 Well, it's just all so sudden, sir, and I mean the nest bit's fine 1499 01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:43,600 but the pepper business is definitely out. 1500 01:25:43,760 --> 01:25:47,720 How dare you tell me how I may or may not treat my beloved Georgina? 1501 01:25:47,880 --> 01:25:52,080 Georgina? Yes. I'm working out what I want to say to her this evening. 1502 01:25:52,200 --> 01:25:55,320 Oh, yes. Of course. Thank God. 1503 01:25:55,480 --> 01:25:59,840 I think it's a fantastic piece of writing and it was great fun to do 1504 01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:01,240 and very difficult to do. 1505 01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:04,480 Honestly, Darling, you really are the most graceless, 1506 01:26:04,600 --> 01:26:06,560 dim-witted bumpkin I ever met. 1507 01:26:06,720 --> 01:26:09,480 I don't think you should say that to her, sir. 1508 01:26:11,360 --> 01:26:14,720 You'd think being called Darling 40 times an hour by your boss 1509 01:26:14,840 --> 01:26:16,360 would be quite nice, really. 1510 01:26:16,480 --> 01:26:18,280 You'd get done for sexual harassment. 1511 01:26:23,400 --> 01:26:26,320 And now here we are. The number one Blackadder moment 1512 01:26:26,480 --> 01:26:29,120 and one of the most popular scenes in TV history. 1513 01:26:29,280 --> 01:26:32,000 Don't forget your stick lieutenant. Rather, sir. 1514 01:26:32,160 --> 01:26:34,760 I wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this. 1515 01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:39,760 The last episode of the fourth series of Blackadder, 1516 01:26:39,880 --> 01:26:41,720 as many people have often said, 1517 01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,360 is an extraordinary piece of television, 1518 01:26:44,520 --> 01:26:48,040 of writing and acting as it starts off very jolly and silly 1519 01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:51,840 and is a bit of a scam and gradually gets more and more serious and sad 1520 01:26:52,000 --> 01:26:55,600 and actually quite scary and ends with that extraordinary scene. 1521 01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:03,360 It's become inevitable and you can't believe 1522 01:27:03,520 --> 01:27:07,120 that these people who are completely personal to you, 1523 01:27:07,280 --> 01:27:10,240 they are like family, are in this situation. 1524 01:27:12,120 --> 01:27:15,040 Listen. Our guns have stopped. 1525 01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:18,920 You don't think...? Maybe the war's over. 1526 01:27:19,040 --> 01:27:20,880 Maybe it's peace. 1527 01:27:21,040 --> 01:27:23,560 Oh, hoorah! The big knobs have got round the table 1528 01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:25,520 and yanked the iron out of the fire. 1529 01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:28,240 Thank God. We lived through it! 1530 01:27:28,360 --> 01:27:32,640 The Great War, 1914 to 1917. 1531 01:27:32,800 --> 01:27:34,160 Hip hip... ALL: Hooray. 1532 01:27:34,320 --> 01:27:38,560 Each of the little lines that come before they go over the top 1533 01:27:38,720 --> 01:27:42,200 has a particular point to do with defeatism and optimism 1534 01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:46,680 and then the final twist when he says it's the end of the war and it's 1917 1535 01:27:46,840 --> 01:27:49,360 and you know that that, that's not right. 1536 01:27:49,480 --> 01:27:51,120 I'm afraid not. 1537 01:27:51,280 --> 01:27:54,120 The guns have stopped because we're about to attack. 1538 01:27:54,280 --> 01:27:57,440 Not even our generals are mad enough to shell their own men. 1539 01:27:57,600 --> 01:28:00,720 They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans do it. 1540 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:02,960 So we are in fact going over? 1541 01:28:03,080 --> 01:28:05,280 This is, as they say, it? 1542 01:28:05,440 --> 01:28:10,960 The resignation, the sadness, the wisdom and the bravery. 1543 01:28:11,080 --> 01:28:12,480 I'm afraid so. 1544 01:28:12,640 --> 01:28:15,720 Unless I can think of something very quickly. 1545 01:28:15,840 --> 01:28:19,000 COMPANY...one pace forward. 1546 01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:23,360 Oh, there's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir. 1547 01:28:23,480 --> 01:28:25,200 A bloke could hurt himself on that. 1548 01:28:25,320 --> 01:28:28,160 STAND READY... 1549 01:28:28,320 --> 01:28:31,560 I have a plan, sir. Really, Baldrick? 1550 01:28:31,680 --> 01:28:33,960 A cunning and subtle one? Yes, sir. 1551 01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:37,560 As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed professor of cunning 1552 01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:39,400 at Oxford University? Yes, sir. 1553 01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,480 On the signal company will head forth. 1554 01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:44,920 Well, I'm afraid it will have to wait. 1555 01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:50,320 There's his abrupt stop. The joke's finished. 1556 01:28:50,480 --> 01:28:52,400 I'm sure it was better than my plan 1557 01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:54,920 to get out of this by pretending to be mad. 1558 01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:59,040 I mean who would have noticed another mad man around here? 1559 01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:04,120 Clearly the atmosphere of the last episode was deliberately thought provoking. 1560 01:29:04,320 --> 01:29:09,520 I mean the whole idea you have to be mad to be in it so you're not going to get out by being mad, 1561 01:29:09,720 --> 01:29:16,120 and I hope that the tone was set not just by the script but by the fantastic performances. 1562 01:29:16,240 --> 01:29:18,240 WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE 1563 01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:19,720 Good luck, everyone. 1564 01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:27,520 Reality comes in and reality is standing there waiting to go over the top and the whistle blowing 1565 01:29:27,720 --> 01:29:32,920 and the words "good luck" and you know that luck had nothing to do with it. 1566 01:29:33,040 --> 01:29:35,160 Charge! 1567 01:29:35,280 --> 01:29:37,760 GUN FIRE AND EXPLOSIONS 1568 01:29:49,200 --> 01:29:55,440 And the music, that sort of pub piano feeling right at the end 1569 01:29:55,600 --> 01:30:00,240 from Howard Goodall I thought was absolutely, um...chilling. 1570 01:30:02,800 --> 01:30:07,280 It's tremendously moving, always brings a tear to the eye 1571 01:30:07,440 --> 01:30:11,920 and a fantastic, fitting end to a great series. 1572 01:30:32,880 --> 01:30:38,640 And that perhaps is the brilliance of Blackadder, the reason it stands head and shoulders above the rest, 1573 01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:41,240 it was always prepared to push the boundaries 1574 01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:43,120 and redefine what a sitcom could be. 1575 01:30:43,280 --> 01:30:45,240 It brought home the madness of history 1576 01:30:45,400 --> 01:30:48,840 in a way that mostly made us laugh but wasn't afraid to make us cry. 1577 01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,120 Thank you, Blackadder. 1578 01:30:50,280 --> 01:30:52,760 People often ask me if I'm proud of Blackadder 1579 01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:55,200 or proud of doing it or proud of producing it 1580 01:30:55,360 --> 01:30:58,840 and what I'm really proud of is this amazing sense of teamwork. 1581 01:30:58,960 --> 01:31:00,440 I think I just feel lucky. 1582 01:31:00,600 --> 01:31:03,560 You know, you do your best that you can in your 20s 1583 01:31:03,720 --> 01:31:06,680 to try and do the thing that you think is funniest 1584 01:31:06,840 --> 01:31:09,000 and it's a fluke and a miracle if it turns out 1585 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,800 that the one you wrote has lasted. 1586 01:31:10,960 --> 01:31:14,120 The great news is everybody involved in it are still friends, 1587 01:31:14,240 --> 01:31:15,240 I mean very much so. 1588 01:31:15,400 --> 01:31:19,200 We're eternally bound together you know by the experience. 1589 01:31:19,360 --> 01:31:22,200 Every year we meet under the clock at Paddington station, 1590 01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:25,680 ten to four, all wearing the tie, we got a tie made, you know, nice. 1591 01:31:25,800 --> 01:31:29,320 Go away. Yes, my lord. 1592 01:31:51,320 --> 01:31:54,280 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd