- I'd better take a spare mag. - So who is this Keiller?
- An acquaintance. - He says he's an old friend of yours.
Well, he's wrong.
Well, it sounded like he had an interesting proposition to put to us.
He may have or may not. That's what we are going to find out.
I need hardly remind you to stay on your guard at all times.
Personally, I'm more worried about the in-flight linkup.
That's no problem so long as Slave can match vectors.
Well, he says he can.
He says he's sorry most of the time. I don't believe that either.
Keep awake, Vila.
(Beeping)
Welcome, welcome to the Space Princess, everybody!
He's clean.
Of course I'm clean. What do you take me for? Avon and I are old friends.
- It's good to see you, Avon. - Nobody said, "Move", Keiller.
- Just relax. - But not too much.
Say, Avon, what is this, old friend?
- Can't you keep your gang under control? - They're not my gang, Keiller.
We are together for mutual convenience.
I imagine that if I double-crossed them, they would try and kill me.
Just as they will kill you if you let them down.
So, shall we go into the office?
I'll explain everything.
- Well? - This is the Space Princess.
A bit of a played-out old pleasure cruiser.
This is the purser's office of the Space Princess,
and this is the purser of the Space Princess.
- Are you with me so far? - You're relaxing too much.
- Look, can't we keep this friendly. - No!
- You're not the pilot then? - No, I am not.
- So who is? - As of now, nobody.
The ship's empty. She's been for a refit. Look at all this new stuff.
- She runs home on auto. - Where's home, Keiller?
Zerok, a frontier planet. You may not know it.
Not very modern.
I say home. She makes orbit herself and a pilot comes up to take her down.
- Zerok, the gold planet? - Right.
You've got it, old friend. So shall we get to business?
- When we know what it is? - Smart.
It's money.
Look.
We don't only carry passengers on this ship. We have a small hold, and we carry cargo.
- Valuable cargo. Now can anyone guess what it is? - Gold.
Right first time. Only it travels incognito.
We pretend it's fruit. Zerok's a natural source of gold.
It's virtually mined out everywhere else, so Zerok's rich.
- Who buys it? - The Federation, lots of places.
It's still used as standard currency
in fringe deals with planets that have no computer linkup.
All the gold going from Zerok to the Federation goes by Space Princess.
- I don't believe you. - Oh, you should.
This is a pleasure cruiser. It's got no armour.
I told you, it's incognito.
Listen, every so often they send up a highly-armed ship
with security written all over it, bristling with guards.
And every so often someone attacks it and gets killed, which is crazy.
Because that ship's carrying fruit. We carry gold with hardly any guards.
- How do you know about this? - Me? Look at all this surveillance.
I'm a little more than a purser, you see. I'm a security man.
A poorly paid one.
And you want us to help you get rich by stealing the gold from this ship.
Right. 50-50, what do you say?
We will decide the terms.
Why pick on us?
You have a ship for the getaway and a reputation for daring.
- Which you heard about where? - Oh, I've known Avon a long time.
- We're old friends. - That's not what I asked.
On the grapevine, my friend, you're getting to be big news.
- 17 billion. - 17 billion.
- That's what it's worth in direct exchange for cash. - That's a lot of cash.
The idea's good, isn't it? Seems good to me.
It's all clear.
Maybe Vila should be here to give us his professional opinion.
- Vila? - He's one of us. He stayed on Scorpio.
In case of misunderstanding.
- This Vila, is he... - He's a thief, and a good one
but we don't need Vila to tell us the obvious, do we?
That no one, but no one, allows a fortune like that to travel in an unarmed crate
with just two plainclothes guards.
So?
What's the snag, Keiller?
- The processor. - The what?
At the mine on Zerok, they process the gold.
They change its atomic constitution. It turns black.
And it's useless until it's reprocessed, and that can't happen
unless you know the computer code that was used on Zerok the day it was processed.
Zerok won't release that code until the gold is in the hands of the Federation.
So if we could steal it, what use is black gold to us?
- None whatsoever. - That is a snag.
But there is a way around it, pretty one.
- AVON: We are waiting, Keiller. - The mine on Zerok, it's underground.
- Like most mines. - And it's completely automated.
The processed gold is even taken to the spaceport by underground conveyor.
- So? - So, pretty one, we visit the mine
and we tamper with the processor. That way the gold stays okay.
When the gold's gone through, we readjust the processor
and it's like nothing had happened. The computer says it's black, nobody checks.
The gold is delivered here as normal.
- And then we steal it. - That's right. Billions!
- So it can be done. - Oh, yes, it can be done, but it's not easy.
- If it was easy, you wouldn't need us. - What's it like on the surface, this mine?
On the surface, pretty one,
it's a pretence like me.
On Zerok, it's a vegetable reprocessing plant, but under guard.
We're not late, I trust.
But we arranged... I was supposed to get you through the fence.
- How did you get in here? - Shortcut.
Avon, old friend, I still don't understand how you got in here, but listen.
They think I went out on that chopper. I'm no safer here now than you.
Good.
- Clear? - Just one guard.
- Let's go. - Right. This way.
They're with me. Visitors.
Voiceprint: Keiller, 2-2-7-1-9-3-2-6.
(Electronic buzzing)
GUARD: What do you want?
I've got to look in here.
It's up there.
Come on!
Look out!
- I say, you two, that was good shooting. - Not bad.
Soolin killed them both.
After you.
- Your friend, Vila, he wants no part in this? - He doesn't trust you, Keiller.
- He thinks it's a trap. - Suspicious.
And frequently right. How much further?
The processing area's quite a way down.
Nothing.
(Beeping)
- That's the security alarm. - We've got to get back up!
- No! - The guards...
Tarrant and Dayna are up there, they'll cover for us.
- How did they get there? I don't understand. - That is because we didn't explain.
What set that off?
Don't look at me, I didn't touch anything.
Move!
Come on!
This is it.
- How long have we got? - What, to stay alive? You tell me.
Two minutes, Keiller, while the gold goes through. Your estimate.
- You can cope? - It's nothing. Just swapping a white lead for a red.
If the radiation's as deadly as you say, I hope it really is that simple.
- Can we defend this? - Have we got a choice?
- Looks as though we have. - Let's get up there.
Avon! Soolin!
- Avon! Soolin! - Tarrant!
What happened?
He's out cold.
What is it?
Two bodies, I think.
The radiation hasn't left much.
Where am I?
- How did I get here. - It's your lucky day.
Then again, maybe it isn't.
Vila.
You couldn't have landed anywhere near the mine. How did you get...
A device called a teleporter. You weren't told about it?
- Seems there's a lot I wasn't told. - It saved our lives.
- And Avon and the pretty one? - Avon and Soolin are dead.
I'm sorry.
That's something I suppose.
There was an ambush. Must have been a trap.
I was working on the processor.
- Two guards were waiting. - Guards? What were they doing there?
I don't know. They shouldn't have been there. The gold was just about to go through.
There was a fight, an explosion, a scramble to get out...
We found you in the corridor, Keiller. There were no guards.
They must be dead as well.
Like Avon and the pretty one.
You didn't set them up, I suppose? It wasn't a trap from the start?
Look, I nearly died myself, what do you think?
It's you keeping things from me, not me from you.
The main alarm went off outside the warehouse.
You'd already dealt with the guard, so who set it off?
- Not me, I was working in the mine. - Someone knew we were coming.
Look, I didn't set you up.
But you know more than you're saying, don't you, Keiller?
- No! No! - We have to find out, you see.
For the sake of our friends.
For the sake of our dead friends.
- Well, they cleared up the mess at any rate. - They would. Breach of security.
It could be an embarrassment.
They will arrange an accident, I expect, to account for the dead guards.
It worked. They think those corpses were us.
Well, why not? This was just a robbery that didn't come off.
They have no idea who we were. Nothing was stolen.
Besides, the guards that jumped us down here weren't their men anyway.
Those men weren't Zerok security guards?
Their uniforms were perfect, but the guns were not standard issue.
- Didn't you notice? - Actually, no.
Someone else is using Keiller to get to us.
It's the only logical explanation.
So let's check him out, him and that ship of his.
We'll go out through the conveyor tunnel. It leads directly to the space port.
That just leaves the problem of getting onboard the Space Princess.
As long as it's still loading, that's no problem.
Communications records. You check the system, I'll go over the files.
Right.
So how did Keiller do it?
Don't touch a volume output.
- If the gold is onboard, so is the security. - When I find it, I'll avoid it.
- Something useful? - Guns.
Something useful.
Ah.
- This looks more promising. - What is it?
- Some sort of log. Anything over there? - I don't know yet, give me time.
Ah. So, that's how Keiller did it. There's the hold. Plus gold.
- Plus security. - Quite a lot of security in fact.
- Avon, what's that? - Soundtrack?
Seems to be.
Well, let's hear it, but make sure no one else does.
KEILLER: We are now passing as close as we dare
to the ferocious power which is Pyrrus and which has been called the twelfth wonder of...
(Beeping)
A harmless electrical phenomenon known as Stardust Blizzard Fields.
And the strange beauty of this ice planet can make it difficult to realise
that it is one of the bleakest solid surfaces in the known galaxy.
So, this ship goes directly from Zerok to Earth.
- The pleasure cruise is a sham. - Like everything else on Zerok.
- I'm surprised the passengers fall for it. - I imagine they have chemical help.
You mean they drug the passengers?
(Exclaiming)
This is interesting.
Keiller's record.
Very impressive.
His last employer was the Federation.
What's he doing here on Zerok?
On the President's personal staff.
But which president?
Avon, I think I've hit a volume output.
- We'd better get out of here. - Scorpio, Scorpio. Come in, Scorpio.
- VILA: Soolin! - Stand by to bring us up, Vila.
- Soolin, we thought you were dead. - You sound disappointed. Are you standing by?
Bring us up, Vila!
- Avon! - Now, Vila!
All right, all right, I'm doing my best.
Look, do you all have to stare at me like that? I swear I didn't let you down.
All right, I was told to contact you.
- By whom? - I don't know. I don't. Really.
But they play rough, I do know that.
They blackmailed me, said they'd use my record against me.
I've got a criminal record.
- Hasn't everybody? - So this was their idea then, not yours.
Some of it. Going to the mine was my idea.
- What did they want? - Black gold.
It seems they've got a way of laundering it back through the bank in Zerok.
I can't imagine how, but they offered me a reward.
You wanted more than a reward though, didn't you, Keiller?
You thought with our help you could get all that gold for yourself.
I dislike greedy men, Keiller.
- What was the reward? - Six billion.
- Quite a lot. - That's quite a lot less than 17 billion.
That's what I thought. Why I decided to go my own way.
Look, Avon, these people are ruthless.
I daren't go back to the Space Princess alone, they'll kill me.
Sounds reasonable.
You've got to take me with you, Avon.
Not a chance.
Please.
Avon, if I go out there I'm a dead man. Please!
All right, Keiller, we'll take you with us.
- But just a minute, Avon. - We'll take you with us on one condition.
What's that?
The robbery goes ahead just as you and your former associates planned it
with one minor modification.
We will use the teleport to steal your gold.
ORAC: I fear that will not be possible, Avon.
Why not?
The processed gold will have undergone a subneutronic overlap shift.
If subjected to the teleport process as well, it will reduce to dust irrevocably.
All right.
We'll just have to use Keiller's plan as it stands.
Or falls.
CONTROLLER: Space Princess, this is Zerok Control. Do you copy?
PILOT: Zerok Control, this is Space Princess. Go ahead.
CONTROLLER: Orbital clearance is on 7-7-0-2.
- Confirm please. - Confirm 7-7-0-2.
- Have a happy trip. - 12 standard days in this crate?
That's happiness.
KEILLER: Good morning. Good morning.
We are now one hour into our cruise, and this is Keiller, your purser,
welcoming you to Space Princess.
We hope your trip will be a pleasant one.
We'll be visiting some interesting places between here and Earth.
And I and the Captain and the crew will endeavour to ensure
that you gain maximum enjoyment and instruction from your voyage.
Space Princess carries a number of special luxury facilities.
I want to see the purser.
Come in, Avon.
- How many guards? - One in the hold.
Two others change shift with him, but they won't be around off-duty.
- Plainclothes? - Two, on duty.
- And you know them? - No. Different department.
But they stand out a mile.
They don't eat the passengers' food, so they're not drugged.
- And they're rotten actors. - It's vital that Tarrant and Soolin know them all.
- Now about this drug you gave Dayna. - Don't worry. It's quite safe.
Causes symptoms, bad ones, but nothing else.
They use it in psychological tests for security.
The plan was that she should fake it.
The regular doctor didn't turn up for the flight.
The one they got as a last-minute replacement
might not be the drunken half-wit the other one was.
Relax, Avon. It'll work. I stake my life on it.
Oh, yes, indeed.
Good morning. Good morning. Keiller, the purser speaking.
In a few minutes I shall be giving you the day's itinerary,
but first please tune all chronometers to frequency seven for synchronization
with Federation Standard Time.
Excuse me, do you know where I can find the purser?
No, sorry. Have a nice day.
Ask a silly question. I'm beginning to wish I was eating the same food as them.
They seem to be having a good time.
- Why don't we wait in the purser's office? - What a good idea!
Any minute now.
(Bleeping)
It's all right. It's only Keiller.
But this is Avon.
Keep clear of the camera just in case.
There, that should keep us safe, old friend. As of now, we're not here.
When we shoot the lock, stand well back, old friend.
They play tricks. Exploding catches, things like that.
Good morning, passengers.
Keiller again with your day's itinerary as promised.
Will all passengers who wish to now refer to the star maps issued at the start of the cruise?
Coordinates for the position obtained...
Just look at that.
Will you look at that?
Avon, get down!
Avon, quick, help me get them off! Quick, Avon. Help me get them off!
Get them off! Not with your hands!
Get something and get them off. Quick! Quick!
- What are they? - Killers! When they're fired they ignite!
If they hit you, they go right through you, you've got about 10 seconds.
- Am I clear? Am I clear? - You're clear!
Make certain. Some of them don't ignite right away.
You're clear!
Now, are there likely to be any more booby traps?
No. No, that'll be all.
Come on.
The end of our itinerary for the standard unit, number six.
- That was close. - Yes, he was nearly dead.
That's it then, Avon, old friend. Round one to us, I think.
Possibly.
The cube isn't working.
I must have knocked it when that firecracker hit me.
Doesn't matter, though.
If they'd found out, we'd be dead by now.
Have a nice day now.
- You've done it? - Avon's waiting in the lift with the gold.
- What about Tarrant? - All on schedule.
You should have declared her condition before the flight.
This will give temporary relief, nothing else.
But I don't understand. She had plenty of her tablets.
- She must have lost them. - Addicts do, you know.
That's why it's an offence not to report to me before leaving Zerok.
- Can she survive till we reach Earth? - Yes.
- That's all right then. - Unfortunately not.
Being an alien, she won't be given drugs on Earth.
- Oh, but in that case, she'll die. - Precisely.
What hope is there then, Doctor?
Only to return to Zerok, and I can't see that happening.
- Can you? - No.
However, we'll try.
Sickbay to flight deck, this is Dr Slaten.
I need to talk to Captain Kennedy.
PILOT: There's no doubt in your mind that she'll die, Doctor?
DOCTOR: None at all, Captain.
PILOT: Aborting the trip is out of the question, I'm afraid.
DOCTOR: I realise that.
PILOT: I could put out a mayday I suppose.
See if there's a ship around can take her back. It's a very slim chance though.
You'd be surprised.
DOCTOR: It's her only chance under the circumstances.
- I'll give it a try then, Doctor. - Thank you, Captain.
And so say all of us, eh, pretty one?
CAPTAIN:...is suffering from exobriddium addiction
and requires immediate passage to Zerok. Mayday. Mayday.
This is passage liner Space Princess. We have a medical emergency.
Space Princess. Space Princess. This is civilian freighter Scorpio calling Space Princess.
Go ahead, Scorpio.
We are en route for Zerok. We can accept your passenger.
(Dayna gasping)
- Stand back and raise your hands. - Who are you? What do you want?
Do as I say. I shan't hesitate to kill you.
Do as he says.
- Avon, the antidote. - Get after him!
I'm dying.
Here! Look out! It's some sort of hold up.
(Gun firing)
See, pretty one, I can shoot, too.
- He wasn't armed. - Or dangerous.
Everyone's dangerous.
Let's go.
- Did you get him? - Keiller shot him.
Give me a hand with this.
I told you it would work.
We're going to walk off this ship and no one's even going to try and stop us.
GUARD: Stop them!
- Guards! - Dayna!
Go!
- There's more! - Let's go!
Avon, they're disengaging.
We've got about 10 seconds before the airlocks close automatically.
Come on!
I'll cover.
TARRANT: Avon!
Open the door! Open the door! No!
Come back! Help!
Open the door! No!
Vila, I need teleport now, Vila.
Now, Vila!
- What kept you? - All right, Slave, get us out of here!
- Full power! - At once, sir.
Did you get the gold?
- Eight? - Nine.
Try ten.
All right, Keiller. Time to make contact.
Anything to get this over with, old friend.
You were given a frequency, I presume. They can't be far away, can they?
- Rendezvous where? - Beta 5, in the Ark Rough Bennett Complex.
- But that's Federation territory. - Isn't that too dangerous?
The whole complex is remote, useless and uninhabited. I don't think we need worry.
Beta 5? Beta 5 it is.
One other thing, the price is ten billion, not six.
- That's ridiculous. - No, it's good business.
We have the gold.
We're well ahead of schedule.
We're going to need to be. We have to put Scorpio down on Beta 5, unload the gold
and get Scorpio back into orbit all before they arrive.
Makes you appreciate the teleport, doesn't it?
Vila, once we are down, you take Scorpio back into orbit on your own
- but stay within teleport range. - But out of attack range.
Did you want me to tell you to watch out for hostile ships?
Just checking.
As for the rest of you, no risks, no heroics, please.
Just stick to the plan.
SLAVE: Beta 5 approach vector is achieved and holding, Master.
Thank you, Slave. Put it on the main screen.
- Avon. - Yes, Vila.
Orbit's established, and according to Slave's detectors,
your customer should be with you any time now.
I can see them now. Be ready, Vila.
- Aren't I always? - No, you're not.
They're on their way.
All right, everyone move back from the gold, slowly.
Don't make any sudden moves.
Quite still, Keiller!
I've been waiting for a chance to kill you, Servalan.
Servalan?
Congratulations, Avon. I see you worked it out.
Keiller was once on the personal security staff of the president of the Federation.
That just had to be you. It wasn't hard to work out.
It wasn't meant to be, was it?
- I don't know what you mean. - You wouldn't leave me a clue like that.
Not unless you really wanted to.
You knew I wouldn't be able to resist it.
You planned everything, every move.
You even knew that Keiller would disobey you,
and you hoped that I would trust him because of that.
Very good.
I almost did trust Keiller.
When I found out it was you, I knew I was safe from him at least.
After all, he has nothing to gain from obeying you.
Only in the end it occurred to me
that he might possibly imagine that you would keep your side of the bargain
and pay him his reward instead of just killing him.
He doesn't know you as well as I do.
Who does?
Avon, would you be careful with the gun?
My guards have orders to shoot you first.
The price of my life would be yours.
Well now.
The sacrifice might be worthwhile.
You're not the sacrificial type.
You're right. We'll do business as arranged.
That was very good bait, the black gold.
I knew you'd like it.
But I shouldn't imagine it's much use to you now.
You'll just have to confess and pay up.
- We're ready, Vila. - Avon, what about me?
We can't take you with us, old friend.
Vila was right. We can't trust you.
So we're leaving you. To her.
I'm sorry. I did my best.
What do we do now?
Load the gold. Watch him.
I don't suppose I'll get paid now, will I, Servalan?
What use would money be to you here?
You're not gonna...
Servalan, nobody lives here. There's no shelter, no food.
I mean, you couldn't leave me here alone?
Well, will you look at that? Two billion each.
- I've never seen currency of that size. - Neither have I!
I just can't believe my eyes.
Avon?
Why didn't you tell us that you knew who it was who was setting us up?
Would it have made any difference if I had?
You know damn well it would. Servalan's not just some greedy gangster.
Surely that is exactly what she is.
Avon, you took risks with our lives.
For ten billion in cash and an outside chance of killing Servalan.
- Would you rather I hadn't? - ORAC: It was not sensible!
What's that supposed to mean?
Within the last few hours, Zerok has ceded to the Federation.
So that black gold will be of use to Servalan.
The Federation doesn't know how she's got it. She's made herself a good profit.
It's worse than that unfortunately.
Worse?
The Federation banking system will now take over that of Zerok.
All bank notes drawn by the Bank of Zerok will be declared invalid within seven days,
and all private transactions will be illegal directly. The consequences of this are clear.
Yes, they're clear, all right. Aren't they, Avon?
We've just risked our lives for nothing.
Not for nothing, Tarrant.
We risked our lives to make Servalan rich.