1
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,560
GUNSHOT 

2
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:33,320
Bagged anything...err, George? 

3
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,720
- Not yet.
- Drop your shoulder and swing through. 

4
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,720
- OK, Big Boy. 
- And don't call me Big Boy. 

5
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,920
DOOR OPENS 

6
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,480
MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT 

7
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:47,400
Ah, m'grandson. Isn't it? Hmm? 

8
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,440
Nothing half so much worth doing as simply messing about with guns. 

9
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,680
Strewth! You certainly know my size, dear, don't you? 

10
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,320
I generally park here. Ha-ha! 

11
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,200
Julia has written to me. Our sister. 

12
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,880
She asks if I approve of the decision 

13
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,000
she outlined in the previous letter. 

14
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,400
- Ah, do you?
- I have no idea. 

15
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,160
I have received no previous letter. She sent it care of you. 

16
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,000
Precisely. 

17
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:37,400
It is now God-knows-where in this demented shambles of a desk of yours. 

18
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,280
You'll simply have to find it. 

19
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,160
Whose work is this? Is it George, 

20
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,560
your grandson? 

21
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,440
Is it? It's not an awfully good likeness. Fellow's in a dress. 

22
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,640
Find the letter. For all we know, Julia could be grievously ill. 

23
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,240
If Mr Baxter were here... 

24
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,480
I wouldn't give Baxter a poke in the eye with a burnt stick, 

25
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,560
let alone have him back in the house. 

26
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,520
And if you were still in the room you would appreciate 

27
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,680
the vehemence with which I say that. 

28
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,360
Ah, Beach! This is Miss Georgia Sparks. 

29
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,440
I say, you've gone puce. 

30
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,280
BEACH CLEARS HIS THROAT 

31
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,720
Ah, knew he'd rumble you. He's a connoisseur of the dancing pages. 

32
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,880
Indeed, Mr Frederick, I recognised the young lady instantly. 

33
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,120
Yeah, the sultana of shimmy. 

34
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,800
Give over, Freddie, you're embarrassing the poor man. 

35
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,200
Beach has been elevated to a state where embarrassment 

36
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,720
is medically impossible. He's seen it all. Back in a tick. 

37
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,040
- Do you dance, Mr B?
- Not as such, Miss.
- We'll soon fix that. 

38
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,160
I'll have you wiggling like a jelly before I'm done with you. 

39
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,120
Who is that extraordinary person 

40
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:03,320
and why is she inciting my butler to wiggle like a jelly? 

41
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:07,240
Not bad. Of course, Aunt Connie's chin is even pointier. 

42
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,840
My room? Show me anything you like, dear. 

43
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,920
Oh...it's perfectly simple. She's a hoofer at The Pussy. 

44
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,960
But Georgia is not the issue. 

45
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,280
How does my grandson fit into this? 

46
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,640
He doesn't. Do try to keep up, guv'nor. 

47
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,880
That's Georgia out there, 

48
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,880
teaching Beach how to shake his substantial can. 

49
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,120
The problem is her brother, Nobby. 

50
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,600
Nobby? 

51
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:41,120
He's a charming bloke. Interesting collection of facial scars. 

52
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,880
I met him at The Dogs at Mile End. I owe him a bit of money, 

53
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,040
and he's being a little standoffish about it. So, 

54
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,120
I told him I'd tool down to Blandings 

55
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,760
and tickle up the smackers. 

56
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,560
He said, in that case, his little sister might just tool along too, 

57
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,640
in a sightseeing sort of way, she'd never been west of Shepherd's Bush. 

58
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,280
I have to return her, plus loot in full, on Monday morning. 

59
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,320
So...how about it, guv'nor? 

60
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,040
If I don't cough the lolly, I am skewered. 

61
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,480
Coughing the lolly? You lost me on hoofing the pussy. 

62
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:18,200
I'm asking you, man to man - will you sub me the necessary rhino? 

63
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,400
Oh, you certainly don't mind where you put things, do you, dear!? 

64
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,840
Ha! Missed. 

65
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,640
- Can I've a go now, Uncle Freddie?
- No. 

66
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,240
Bigger one, please. 

67
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,120
You have to allow for the crosswind. 

68
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,200
- Missed! My turn.
- No. One more. 

69
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,720
And also the curvature of the earth. 

70
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,000
GUNSHOT 

71
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,160
Oh, er, ooh. 

72
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:19,640
- Mr Baxter. How may I be of...? 
- Lady Constance sent for me. 

73
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,680
At 11:14 on a Friday, she will be writing letters 

74
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,480
in the drawing room. I know my way. 

75
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,600
- HE MAKES PLANE NOISES 
- Don't forget to swing through. 

76
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,080
- OK, Big Boy. 
- And don't call me Big Boy. 

77
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,920
We do not machine-gun our elders. 

78
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,400
If we are machine-gunned, 

79
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,240
we do not limit our disciplinary remarks to, 

80
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,320
"Don't call me Big Boy." 

81
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,600
- Jeepers. Who is this blister? 
- George! 

82
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,760
I am your tutor, young man. 

83
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:56,720
Tutor? In the summer holidays? Crikey, that ponks. 

84
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,440
Clarence, have you no authority over this child? 

85
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,840
Well, it does ponk! 

86
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,280
An end to uncouth slang, I think. 

87
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,160
Yes, from now on, things are going to be rather different. 

88
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,440
I believe you are in possession of a gun. 

89
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:12,920
Bring it to me. 

90
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:35,080
Fellow lays a finger on my desk, I'll blow his ruddy bonce off. 

91
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,960
Julia might be so ill she is preparing to take her own life. 

92
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,040
Dear old Nobby, ha-ha. 

93
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,120
The thing about Nobby... is... 

94
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,960
well, that he hates my guts and he wants to kill me. Ha-ha. 

95
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:55,480
Oh, Nobby hates everybody. It's a sort of a style thing. 

96
00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:00,480
- But he's never actually killed a person.
- Oh, good! 

97
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,880
There was that one man who had to go to hospital to have a 

98
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,480
megaphone removed, which can't have been nice, but he owed Nobby money. 

99
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,960
How silly of him. 

100
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,440
PIG GRUNTS 

101
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,920
Hello, sheepy! 

102
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,000
That is a sheep, innit? 

103
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,720
PIG GRUNTS AND SQUEALS 

104
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,880
Cause and effect. 

105
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,920
Your father is Lord Emsworth's eldest son, Lord Bosham. 

106
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,640
Where is Lord Bosham? In France. Doing what? 

107
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,600
Having a holiday without a tutor. 

108
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,720
He has left you here without a structured timetable. 

109
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,680
His delinquency is the cause. Your insolence is the effect. 

110
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,000
Do you eat lunch, Mr Baxter? 

111
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,160
Never. It bloats the bowel and dulls the mind, 

112
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,560
time frittered that could be spent rigorously card-indexing. Why? 

113
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,520
My brother eats lunch. It is the one time you can be confident 

114
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,280
he will not be at his desk. 

115
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,520
I know who it is you remind me of. 

116
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,600
My first proper boyfriend. 

117
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,360
Big-boned, he was. 

118
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,120
Lovely mover. 

119
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,680
HE WHIMPERS 

120
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,480
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 

121
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,120
What the deuce? 

122
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,960
The sentiment you are groping for so unattractively, Clarence, 

123
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,240
runs as follows, "How kind of you, Mr Baxter, 

124
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,840
"for doing all this on your own initiative. 

125
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,160
"I shall give serious thought to reinstating you as my secretary." 

126
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,640
Clarence, you look like an ostrich goggling a brass doorknob. Speak. 

127
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,240
Dear God! 

128
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,040
My brother is delighted. 

129
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,320
One has done what one can in the time available. 

130
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,040
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's the appointed hour for geometry. 

131
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,240
Ah, ha-ha, yes. 

132
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,200
Oh! 

133
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,640
You don't know what geometry is, do you, Clarence? 

134
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,800
Of course I do, it's a type of camel. 

135
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,360
I also know why you're doing this. 

136
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,920
You're trying to find that damned letter of Julia's. 

137
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,200
- Eh? Have you found it?
- No. 

138
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,200
And unless you intend to invent a questionable new fashion of 

139
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:32,120
neckwear, I suggest you disembarrass yourself of the table napery. 

140
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:39,600
I shall not have that secretary as my blasted Baxter! 

141
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:44,200
Dash it, I mean it! I am on the point of becoming atrocious. 

142
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,520
Bah! 

143
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,880
I have some unfinished business to attend to 

144
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,200
concerning Lord Emsworth's study. 

145
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,280
When I return, I expect you to know your isosceles 

146
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,400
from your scalene. 

147
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,000
What are you doing, man? 

148
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,960
I...just dropped my ledger. 

149
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,920
And it fell up the drainpipe? 

150
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,880
Fellow's as potty as a parrot. 

151
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,520
Ah! Gah! 

152
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:10,320
Insupportable, Beach. I cannot even find me damned whiffle. 

153
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,000
Care Of The Pig is currently in your hand, my lord. 

154
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,760
Oh, good heavens. How the devil was I expected to find that? 

155
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,920
Beach, you're armed. Are we under threat? 

156
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,400
Not presently, my lord. 

157
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,560
I used to have one like that. 

158
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,280
Quite, quite handy with it, as a matter of fact. 

159
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,840
Oh! Good heavens, why have you given me this instrument, Beach? 

160
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:42,200
Clarence! Your grandson has shot Mr Baxter. 

161
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,160
- Was Baxter on the gravel or up a drainpipe?
- What? 

162
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,240
Well, the former is not a sporting shot. Tutors are not ground game. 

163
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:54,320
- Oh...
- Do you remember when we were children, when Julia shot 

164
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,920
that big governess when she was going up the nursery steps? 

165
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,960
What was her name? Beach? 

166
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:03,560
The incident unfortunately occurred before my arrival, my lord. 

167
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,000
There was no incident. 

168
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,920
There jolly well was. Fortunately, she was wearing a bustle. 

169
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,440
That's the governess, not Julia. 

170
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,640
Beach, that will be all. 

171
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,160
Clarence, are you a complete drooling halfwit? 

172
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,280
Or are you on some private crusade 

173
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,080
to render this family utterly ridiculous? 

174
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:28,920
No, no, no, Connie, Julia definitely bagged the big governess. 

175
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:33,320
She did it because you took a pot-shot at the woman and missed. 

176
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:38,000
Ruddy great target, slow-moving, padded. 

177
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,400
What was her name? 

178
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,200
- Right, Clarence, I am sending you your grandson to be disciplined.
- Oh! 

179
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,120
And until Julia's letter is unearthed, 

180
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,880
this house is under martial law. Baxter is in command 

181
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,080
Well, that's as may be, Connie, 

182
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:59,680
but I'm about to go and consult the only female in this establishment 

183
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,080
that talks sense. 

184
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,480
Great, big woman. 

185
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,800
Backside the size of Durham Cathedral. 

186
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,440
Curiously, the same sort of shape. 

187
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,320
- How Connie managed to miss her, I don't...
- Hello, Grandpapa. 

188
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,600
Hello, my boy. 

189
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,840
Great Aunt Connie said you wanted to see me. 

190
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,360
What? Eh? Ah... Oh, yes. What's all this... 

191
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,360
..shooting Baxter, all that sort of thing? 

192
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,120
You could've had his eye out. 

193
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:35,160
- Unlikely. He was bending over. 
- Just a minute. 

194
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,960
Did you pot Baxter in the seat of the trousers? 

195
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,760
HE LAUGHS 

196
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,960
I mean, disgraceful. I expect he jumped? 

197
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,040
- Like billy-o.
- Did he, indeed? 

198
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:51,240
Your Great Aunt Julia once bagged a governess under similar conditions. 

199
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,720
Coo! Did she jump? 

200
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,920
Like the dickens! Yes, and she squealed. 

201
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,200
Now, look here, my dear fellow, 

202
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:02,560
all this business of shooting tutors' back in, you know, 

203
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,440
it really just isn't on, you know. 

204
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,560
- OK, Big Boy.
- Now, George! 

205
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,800
Would you care to give The Empress a slice of potato? 

206
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,160
This place would make a cracking nightclub. 

207
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:22,280
Just take up all this stuff... What is it? 

208
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,720
- Grass.
- Yeah. 

209
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,280
Get rid of that, whack a decent bit of patio down, 

210
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,000
you could dance all night. 

211
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:37,960
Oh, Beachypoo, I do love a challenge. 

212
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,520
Built for comfort and speed. 

213
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,120
I'll have you firing on all cylinders. 

214
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,160
What's this? 

215
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,840
It's your hand. 

216
00:14:55,080 --> 00:15:00,360
Look. I know this cannot help but complicate the situation. But... 

217
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:05,840
- ..I do think you're rather jolly. 
- Oh, Freddie, I say! 

218
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,600
Baxter, what are you doing, creeping up like that? 

219
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,920
I did not creep. I manifested silently. 

220
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,920
As you ask, I'm considering my position. 

221
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,840
The tendency for larkiness in this place is deplorable. 

222
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:24,080
But I warn you, Mr Threepwood, it is a very grave error 

223
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,560
to get gay with me. 

224
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:41,680
The other thing is you could do is move some of them big floppy things. 

225
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,920
Trees. 

226
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:52,360
Barley's Compendium Of Pig Constipation... Ah, bingo! 

227
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,720
Ah! 

228
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,960
Top shooting, guv'nor.. 

229
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,120
That gun is not in my possession. 

230
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,440
It has not been in my possession for the last half hour, do you follow? 

231
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,040
Very well, my lord. 

232
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,600
- Will you excuse me a second? 
- Why, what you done? 

233
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,480
I just have to blackmail my father. 

234
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,080
On the contrary, I chastised the child thoroughly. 

235
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,200
Very disagreeable it was for him, too. 

236
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,640
I said to him, "Now, look here...George. 

237
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,360
"You know how to load that thing and I don't." 

238
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,840
Was that the full extent of the chastisement? 

239
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,920
What does it matter what I said? 

240
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,640
Because the infernal child shot me again. 

241
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,840
I expect you imagined it. Could have been a wasp. 

242
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,520
- A wasp?
- You probably sat on it. 

243
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,160
Ah! How did you know I was once again stricken on the buttocks? 

244
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,320
Begging your pardon, Lady Constance. 

245
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,680
If not a wasp, then a rash. 

246
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,840
I am not an authority on your buttocks, Baxter, 

247
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:12,560
but it is clear that life in the countryside does not agree with you. 

248
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,400
Would you excuse us, Mr Baxter? 

249
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,200
It was you. 

250
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,200
What was me? 

251
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,200
How dare you say, "It was you" in that sepulchral tone? 

252
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,440
Are you accusing me of shooting Baxter? 

253
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,200
The gun was in Pant's beachtry. 

254
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,720
I've no idea how to load the ruddy thing! 

255
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,280
Clarence, that doesn't even qualify as a lie. 

256
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,720
That is just noise leaking out of your face. 

257
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,400
You can consider your study commandeered. 

258
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,920
Now get out. 

259
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,360
There is a point beyond which one should not go, 

260
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,920
and you've just gone it. 

261
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:06,880
I take my leave of you, Connie, for fear that I shall become brusque. 

262
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,840
- What ho, guv'nor. 
- Frederick. Lovely day. 

263
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:36,160
Yes, excessively lovely. Perfect visibility. Day like this, you could 

264
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,040
pot a medium-size tutor over a distance of... 

265
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,520
- ten yards?
- 15.
- As you say. 

266
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:47,280
No, I observed you take aim with a hideous look of low cunning, 

267
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,320
plug Baxter in the jacksie and coolly withdraw. 

268
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,840
It was beautiful to watch. 

269
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:59,640
Alas, the popular press may fail to share my view. 

270
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,960
"Barking Toff Mows Down Hapless Servant" 

271
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,840
- is more likely to be their line. 
- Frederick. 

272
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,240
- "Blazers Emsworth," they'll say. 
- Frederick, Frederick, no. 

273
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:11,360
Well, I'm sorry. But my doctor insists I must not have megaphones 

274
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,280
- inserted into my person.
- Oh! 
- And that's what's going to happen 

275
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,880
if I don't pay Scarface Nobby first thing Monday morning. 

276
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,960
This is despicable. 

277
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,200
Despicable's a little rich from a man who leans 

278
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,720
casually from his window and riddles his staff with hot lead. 

279
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,560
No, this is one family shame I cannot consent to hide. 

280
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,680
How much? 

281
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,360
600 quid. 

282
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,440
If I were still your secretary... 

283
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:55,520
I would wonder how such a large quantity of cash 

284
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,560
should be accounted. 

285
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,000
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. 

286
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:08,600
Absolutely. Which is why I'd have to ask Lady Constance for her 

287
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,560
analysis of the expenditure. 

288
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:17,960
lbs600 is not an amount that can simply mislaid. 

289
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,480
That would be criminally negligent. 

290
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,600
Baxter. 

291
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,680
My dear Baxter. 

292
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:33,680
Do, please, consider resuming your previous position 

293
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,080
here as my secretary. 

294
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,720
Permanently. For life. 

295
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:48,640
Very well. Once the servant Beach has brought in my valise 

296
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,160
and the money has been returned to me for safekeeping, 

297
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,840
I shall continue purging your study of disfiguring clutter. 

298
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,440
"Commandeered." 

299
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,840
CLICK OF GUN LOADING 

300
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,360
Ruddy cheek. 

301
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,280
Ah! 

302
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,720
Beach! 

303
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,720
I rang for you. 

304
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:50,240
Stop acting the giddy goat and take this message to Lord Emsworth. 

305
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,760
I shall not linger in this nest of vipers! 

306
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,520
What the devil is the fellow trying to say now? 

307
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:02,480
Mr Baxter is tendering his resignation, my lord. 

308
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,000
In what sense? 

309
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,760
In the sense that he wishes to be relieved of employment 

310
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,400
at Blandings, in any capacity, as from your receipt of his note. 

311
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,880
- Good God, how quickly can I receive it?
- It's in your hand, my lord. 

312
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,000
Oh. Good God. 

313
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:23,880
And I must add on my behalf, that I wish to submit my month's notice. 

314
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,480
Yes, yes, yes, by all means, Beach. 

315
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,440
As I, too, shall be leaving your employment. 

316
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,560
Yes, to be sure, yes, have a whole bottle. 

317
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,080
Very good, my lord. 

318
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,920
"Immediate resignation..." 

319
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,480
"Baxter." 

320
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,320
HE CHUCKLES 

321
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,000
Have you spoken with Beach? 

322
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,560
He tendered his resignation, and you accepted it. 

323
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:12,360
No, no, no. Baxter resigned. Beach brought me the... 

324
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,000
I have been speaking with Beach. 

325
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,920
Ah, now, look, look, look there, you see, 

326
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,080
that's where you're mixing this up. You are you and I am... 

327
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,520
Oh... 

328
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,280
Did you say Beach has handed in his notice? 

329
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,200
It's all this terrible business with Julia's letter, 

330
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,880
it has left me demented. 

331
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,000
Good God, Connie, what have you been doing to the man? 

332
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,360
I shot him. 

333
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,640
I went to speak with Beach in his pantry and he wasn't there, 

334
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:46,920
but the wretched gun was, and through the window I saw him 

335
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:52,440
puffing across the lawn, and all of a sudden...I couldn't resist it. 

336
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,160
What sort of range? 

337
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,200
What? Good heavens, Clarence, I have no idea. 20 yards? 

338
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,480
HE LAUGHS 

339
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,920
What can it possibly matter? 

340
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:08,800
You couldn't hit a moving butler at 20 yards, don't be absurd. 

341
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,240
If you couldn't pot Doris Mapleton's titanic, 

342
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,440
snail-paced rump at... Oh! 

343
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,000
Did you see, I just remembered both her names? Ha-ha! 

344
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,240
Clarence, Beach has resigned. 

345
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,440
KNOCK ON DOOR 

346
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,640
Remain, sir, in that semi-recumbent posture. 

347
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,240
What's all this dashed nonsense? Leaving me? 

348
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,520
Better to tender my resignation, my lord, than to be dismissed. 

349
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:45,600
Dismissed? You're talking through your hat, Beach. 

350
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,920
I was the cause of Mr Baxter's precipitate departure. 

351
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:55,000
In a moment of uncontrollable impulse, my Lord, I shot him. 

352
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,560
Ah! 

353
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,560
What? I thought you were leaving because my sister plugged you. 

354
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,680
Her ladyship did not shoot me, my lord. 

355
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,040
The weapon went off in her hand accidentally, 

356
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,120
but the projectile passed me by, harmlessly. 

357
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:20,000
I thought it correct that I did not mention the matter. 

358
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,840
What distance was her ladyship when this unfortunate discharge occurred? 

359
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,920
Quite adjacent, about ten feet away. 

360
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,400
20 yards... 

361
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,680
What sort of range, m'dear fellow, would you say? Eh? 

362
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,800
A good 20 yards. 

363
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,000
Ah! 

364
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,520
A very pretty shot, my lord. 

365
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,880
Plenty more where that came from, you...you blister! 

366
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,240
Georgia. 

367
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:06,040
That bloke who had to have the megaphone removed, 

368
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,720
how much did he owe your brother? 

369
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,360
- Oh, tons. At least lbs50.
- Oh. 

370
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:15,160
Nobby's just a big pussycat. 

371
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:20,040
He does whatever I say. Wrapped round this, is our Nobby. 

372
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,160
But tit for tat, eh? 

373
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,760
I'll get my big brother to play nice, 

374
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,760
you get Beach bunnikins to dance with me. 

375
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,400
Wait, hold the line a minute. 

376
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:42,680
You're saying that if Beach bunnikins shakes it up with you, 

377
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,680
right here, right now, the threat of violent death 

378
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:51,960
that is making me slightly distrait will just evaporate? 

379
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,920
Poof! 

380
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,160
I hear you've instructed Beach to serve champagne. 

381
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,480
Have I? How sensible of me. 

382
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,920
Am I to understand, therefore, that you have persuaded him to remain? 

383
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,640
- Was he off somewhere? 
- Shall we go down together? 

384
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,600
Did you ever find that original letter of Julia's? 

385
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,480
Just when I think you have not one single functioning brain cell, 

386
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,560
you surprise me. No, Clarence I have not yet found it. 

387
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,160
Found what? Have you lost something? 

388
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,040
Oh. 

389
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,080
MUSIC PLAYS 

390
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Oh, I say... 

391
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,640
Hello. 

392
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,040
My lord. Your ladyship. 

393
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,120
Forgive me, I am about to have a modest heart attack. 

394
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,560
BEACH MOANS 

395
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,480
Oh! 

396
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:05,040
Oh, bless my soul. I do believe this is, um... 

397
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,880
Julia's letter. 

398
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,160
She wants your opinion on a flower arrangement 

399
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,600
that she's doing for the Women's Institute. 

400
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,080
"African violets, yes or no?'" 

401
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,360
Not much use asking you now, though, is it? 

402
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:20,280
Silly woman sent the letter weeks ago. 

403
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,200
African violets, are they life-threatening? 

404
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,840
I say, Connie, it appears we're having champagne. 

405
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,280
Capital! 

406
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,400
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