1
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,400
I'll see you there.
2
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,440
Hang on.
3
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,720
Weather forecast's good.
It should be a cracking weekend.
4
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,760
By all accounts it's a lovely hotel.
5
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,840
You and me in a king sized bed, eh?
Hey, behave yourself.
6
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,880
No chance!
Oh!
7
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,800
Come here, you.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
8
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,360
'In his position I think
I'd start getting a bit paranoid.'
9
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,560
'Oi, Syd!'
10
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,600
(DRILLING)
11
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,280
'You're a damned attractive fella.'
12
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,320
'You know we've all been there.'
13
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,360
(DRILLING)
14
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,560
Will you pack it in,
you senile old git?
15
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,920
Kofi Annan's just phoned (!)
16
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,600
He's offering you a job
as a peace negotiator (!)
17
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,960
Have you heard
that racket from next door?
18
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,840
I can't hear anything
over the noise you're making.
19
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,000
I'll turn that drill
on you in a minute.
20
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,360
Don't get wound up. Just rise
above it. Be more neighbourly.
21
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,400
(DRILLING STOPS)
22
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,440
Ah, there. You see?
23
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,400
What's this?
What?
24
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,240
You can't have these,
you're on a diet.
25
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,200
No, no, no. I WAS on a diet.
I finished that yesterday.
26
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,280
Don't be ridiculous.
You've only been on it three days.
27
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,320
And how'd you sneak this by me?
28
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,120
You said if I lost half a stone,
29
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,120
I could have steak and kidney pie,
chips and peas as a reward.
30
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,560
But you haven't lost half a stone.
You've barely lost half a pound.
31
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,040
You've been
twiddling the wheel on the scales.
32
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,080
That is not true.
Yes, it is.
33
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,600
Here you are, love.
34
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,680
Present for you.
35
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,520
Oh, thanks very much.
36
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,640
Is he gonna be doing this much
longer? I'm getting a headache.
37
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,680
I know, Mum, you said.
38
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,520
Why does he want security lighting?
He's got nothing worth pinching.
39
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,840
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
40
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,880
Daniel?
Dave.
41
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,920
Matey-boy!
42
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960
How are you doing?
All right.
43
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,840
Daniel came on that booze cruise.
I thought you were living in France.
44
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,720
I am. I'm just over for a few days
to visit my parents.
45
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,280
I thought I'd surprise them.
Oh, that's nice.
46
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,760
Yeah, it would have been
if they'd been home.
47
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,600
They've gone off to North Wales
for a long weekend.
48
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,960
That's why I'm here, there's nothing
in the house. Oh, I see.
49
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,000
Are you still with that French lass?
50
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,640
Juliet? Yeah. It's great.
Perfect really.
51
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,280
Though it's tough finding a job
over there. They all speak French.
52
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,320
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
53
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,760
So are you at a loose end
this weekend, then?
54
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,120
Well, yeah.
55
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,760
Not any more, matey-boy.
You're coming with us.
56
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,280
What? Yeah, we're going
on a car treasure hunt.
57
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,040
It's gonna be magic. The old booze
cruise team back together again.
58
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,200
Well, apart from Clive,
he's gone down the West Country.
59
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,960
Yeah, I heard.
Have you seen anything of Chloe?
60
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:49,360
No, I hadn't planned to. It's a bit
of a tricky situation, isn't it?
61
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,880
Ah, you mean with her being...
62
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,720
..the way she is.
63
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,760
Sorry?
64
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,520
Well, with her having...you know?
65
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,720
No. What?
66
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,480
Nothing.
67
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,200
What's going on?
Nothing.
68
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,440
Yeah, just ignore her.
She's rambling.
69
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,120
Anyway, treasure hunt. My place
eight o'clock in the morning. OK?
70
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,160
Right. Yeah. See you then.
See you later.
71
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,680
Big mouth.
Sorry. Thought he knew.
72
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,800
(DRILLING)
73
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,120
Oh, every day it's something else.
74
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:40,080
'I thought if she could stick around
I'd be able to watch TJ grow up.'
75
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,560
How'd you like that,
you selfish slaphead?!
76
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,760
Bob, will you keep it down?
The twins are asleep!
77
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,000
How?!
78
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,800
(BUZZER)
79
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,560
Oh. Sally.
80
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,160
Hi.
Daniel. How are you?
81
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,480
Fine, thanks.
82
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,800
Is Chloe in?
83
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,400
Yes. Come in.
84
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:32,320
Chloe, you have a visitor.
Look who's here.
85
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,480
Hi.
Daniel!
86
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,920
How are you?
87
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,920
Yeah. Good.
88
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,080
So, how are things with you?
89
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,320
Oh, my God.
90
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,840
What?
I mean...oh, my God.
91
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,520
I mean, look at you. You're...
92
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,520
..you're...
93
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,800
Pregnant is the word I think
you're searching for, Daniel.
94
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,240
Yeah. Pregnant.
95
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,480
There. All done.
96
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,520
About bloody time too.
97
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,440
Not in the house, Maurice.
98
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,120
Bloody marvellous.
99
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,880
When's it due?
About three weeks.
100
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,880
Why didn't you tell me?
Why would I?
101
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,920
Well, I'm the father.
102
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,880
I mean, I am the father, aren't I?
103
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,800
Oh, bloody hell,
there's been someone else.
104
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,160
Look, Daniel,
can we please not go into all that?
105
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,760
He was just a guy I was at school
with, that's all.
106
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,200
Oh, lovely (!)
So he's the father then, is he?
107
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,400
No, I'm not saying that.
Well, whose is it, then?
108
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,440
It's mine, Daniel. Mine.
109
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,040
Well, yes, obviously it's yours.
110
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,160
But...it might be mine too.
111
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,400
Yes, it might.
112
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,520
But that's for me to know, isn't it?
113
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,360
Look, the last thing I want
right now is a man in my life.
114
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,080
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
115
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,800
Oh, no.
116
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,840
Lights are on again.
117
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,960
I know they're on again.
118
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
They're off now.
119
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,040
I can see that.
120
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,960
They're on again.
121
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,640
I know, you stupid old -
Maurice.
122
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,920
It'll be a fox or something.
123
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,480
What, making them go
on and off like that? No.
124
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,560
They're off again.
125
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,920
There must be a fault somewhere.
I'll go and check the wiring.
126
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,640
They're on again.
127
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,720
I said they're on again!
Ah, shut up!
128
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,880
Where have you been?
129
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,400
Erm...out.
130
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,440
Doing what?
Nothing.
131
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,480
You've been next door, haven't you?
132
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,240
Possibly.
133
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,800
Oh, what have you done?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
134
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,360
(TEXT ALERT)
135
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,800
Ah. Erm...gotta go.
136
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,040
Where are you going now?
Work.
137
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,080
I've had a call out.
138
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,880
Catch you later, babe.
139
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,920
Bye.
140
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,760
Ah.
141
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:59,000
I said you should get a man in
to do the job properly.
142
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,360
Instead of standing there
having a dig,
143
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,400
why don't you do something useful?
144
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,800
Like sticking your fingers
in the light socket?
145
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,840
Eh?
146
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:14,840
Argh!
147
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,720
He's done it again. Bloody vandal.
148
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,840
Hello, Maurice.
Where is he?
149
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,880
Sorry? That delinquent husband
of yours, where is he?
150
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,080
He's out, he's working.
What, at this time of night?
151
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,680
Computers don't just
break down in daytime.
152
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,480
If he gets a call, he has to go.
He's not off enjoying himself.
153
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,520
(SQUEAKING)
154
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,040
What the bloody hell's that?
155
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,800
I've got to put in for a bigger car.
156
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:56,880
What?
157
00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,040
That's the best I can look forward
to, is it, a bigger car?
158
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,480
Is that where
our relationship's heading?
159
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,440
Erm, no. No, of course not.
160
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,480
I want us to go away together, Rob.
161
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,920
A nice hotel with a spa and a sauna.
And a bed.
162
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,960
And we will, Jacks, I promise.
163
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,320
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, I've got it all planned.
164
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,360
Oh. When?
165
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,080
Er...soon.
Oh, good.
166
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,600
Oh, my God.
What is it?
167
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,080
There's blokes out there
with machine guns.
168
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,640
That's your husband
and his vigilante mates.
169
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,320
Don't be stupid.
MEGAPHONE: This is the police.
170
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,960
Thank God for that. Get out of the
car slowly, we are armed police.
171
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Keep your hands raised.
172
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,840
(SHOUTING)
173
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:59,920
Woman from the back seat. Keep your
hands in the air. Walk towards me!
174
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,400
This is a bit excessive, isn't it?
Look at me.
175
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,240
Walk towards me.
176
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,840
Whoa! Steady.
Look, what is all this about?
177
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,480
We just had a fumble in the car.
Yes, sir.
178
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,360
But you've chosen a sensitive area
for your fumble.
179
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,880
Chevening.
Chevening?
180
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,400
Yes, sir. The Home Secretary's
driveway.
181
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,200
Ah.
182
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,880
Where next, Downing Street?
Shut up. I wish I hadn't told you.
183
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,760
You don't half push your luck, mate.
Why do you do it?
184
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,160
It's a bit of fun. Nobody gets hurt.
What if Leonie finds out?
185
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,840
I'll just have to make sure
she doesn't, won't I?
186
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,360
Is that Daniel?
187
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,840
Yeah, I bumped into him yesterday.
He's coming with us. Great.
188
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,200
Wotcha, Danny-boy.
Or should I say bonjour?
189
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:02,120
Oh, right, yeah. Hiya, Rob.
Still with your French bird?
190
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,080
Juliet, yeah.
It's going really well.
191
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,560
Morning, matey-boy.
Morning, Dave.
192
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,600
You made it then, eh? Good lad.
193
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,720
BOTH: Oooh, ha-ha-ha!
194
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,760
Ooh, what time is it?
195
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,720
We've got to get a move on.
I'll go and gee the girls up.
196
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,720
(ENGINE BACKFIRES)
197
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,880
Morning, Maurice.
198
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,280
Morning, morning. Hello, Daniel.
199
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,040
Oh, I didn't expect to see you.
200
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,040
Yeah, he's coming with us
aren't you, Danny-boy? Eh? Eh? Eh?
201
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,760
Yep.
202
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,120
Wow. Where did you
get this from, Maurice?
203
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,160
Yeah, it's a little gem, isn't it?
204
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,520
I borrowed it off a mate
from my bowls club.
205
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,200
Well, why waste money
on an overpriced hotel
206
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,800
when you can have all the comforts
of home in the back there?
207
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,560
Well, better get off,
pick up the girls.
208
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,920
See you at the marshalling point.
You bet.
209
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,920
Oi! I want a word with you.
You've ruined my lawn, you have.
210
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,040
Look, it's Mr Whippy. I'll have
a 99 and a choc ice, please.
211
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,160
He wrote TIT on my lawn
with weedkiller.
212
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:20,000
It's not funny. It's going to take
ages to grow out. Bloody vandal.
213
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,240
I don't know
what you're talking about.
214
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,720
No, you never do, do you? One of
these days I swear, I'm gonna...
215
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,760
I will, I tell you.
Yeah, whatever.
216
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,640
(GEARS CRUNCH)
217
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,880
Pick any one you like, mate,
they're all in the same box (!)
218
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,920
Oh, shut up, you bloomin' lunatic!
219
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,280
(ENGINE BACKFIRES)
220
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,440
Bloody hell.
What?
221
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,760
He's come. Who has?
Marcus.
222
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,680
Oh, Marcus.
223
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,720
I met him
at a Chamber of Commerce do.
224
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,280
He's the boss of this big
development company.
225
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,240
They order more shower fittings than
you've had hot dinners. From you?
226
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:13,200
I wish. I've been playing him ever
since. This could be big, very big.
227
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,680
Erm, will you do me a favour
this weekend, Rob?
228
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:23,280
Could you not be quite
so...well...Rob?
229
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,320
What's that supposed to mean?
230
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,800
I've just got to keep in with him,
that's all.
231
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,840
Don't jinx it for me, will you?
232
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,880
Good morning, David.
233
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,360
Marcus. Lovely to see you. Please.
234
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,400
Thank you so much.
This way.
235
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,320
I'm not travelling in that.
236
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,080
Why not?
237
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,640
You said you were going to hire
a car, where did you get that from?
238
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,280
I borrowed it.
From Steptoe and Son?
239
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,720
Listen, Maurice Stringer, we cannot
turn up at a smart hotel in that.
240
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,760
Well, we won't be, will we?
241
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,800
What do you mean, we won't be?
242
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,200
Why spend money
on flash cars and a sprauncy hotel
243
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,000
when you've got a flash car
and a hotel all in one?
244
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,240
You're not suggesting
we sleep in that thing?
245
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,480
Wait 'til you see inside,
It's a little palace.
246
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:23,120
It's got a toilet, shower, telly.
A little gas stove.
247
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:27,200
I am not cooking on my weekend away.
248
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,240
Yeah, all right, all right.
249
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,520
We'll find a Wimpy or something.
Wimpy?!
250
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,000
Get moving or we'll be late.
You haven't heard the last of this.
251
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,000
Ah, Marcus, this is Leonie.
Hello.
252
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,880
Delighted to meet you, Leonie.
This is my wife Cath.
253
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,920
How do you do?
Yes, indeed.
254
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,240
This is Rob, Leonie's husband.
255
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,560
All right?
How do you do?
256
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,680
I was concerned I'd be under-dressed
but clearly I needn't have worried.
257
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,720
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
258
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,840
Who's the creep?
A big banana in a building company.
259
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,200
With any luck
he'll give Dave some business.
260
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,880
Daniel is back from France
for a couple of days.
261
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,920
Ah, bonjour.
262
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,600
Nous avons une compagnie francaise
a Poitiers.
263
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,160
Avez-vous travaille la-bas
pour longtemps?
264
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,280
Sorry, mate,
I didn't quite catch your name.
265
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,320
Marcus Forster.
266
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:27,000
Are you saying Forster or are you
saying Foster with a poncey accent?
267
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,040
It's Foster.
268
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,080
I'm no wiser.
269
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,160
Shall we, er, get going?
270
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,160
Absolutely.
Wagons roll.
271
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,600
Before we go any further, Marcus,
I go in the front, all right?
272
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,640
I never travel in the front.
273
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,560
I thought you preferred
the back of cars. Will you shut up?
274
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,840
Well, this door is not
going to open by itself, is it?
275
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,120
Sorry, Marcus. Actually
you're wrong. Have a look at this.
276
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,160
Very good.
277
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,240
Well done, mate (!)
278
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,720
You've pulled a rabbit out of
the hat with him. What a winner (!)
279
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,080
He'll be all right. Trust me.
Yeah, right.
280
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,760
Petts Wood Pioneers?
281
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,840
First time?
You're going to have a lot of fun.
282
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,800
Pack, Dot. Pack!
283
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,920
Right. Here we are.
284
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,160
Hi. Chloe? It's Daniel again.
285
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,600
Look, can you give me a call when
you get this message? Thanks. Bye.
286
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,000
It's a bit of all right, Marcus.
We're going to have a great time.
287
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,040
One hopes, one hopes.
288
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,920
I wouldn't think
this was your thing at all, really.
289
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,720
It isn't. The ladies from my wife's
book club are taking over the house
290
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,640
and it was made clear
I was surplus to requirements.
291
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,320
When I mentioned your little
shindig, my wife insisted I come
along.
292
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,720
You don't think
I'd be here voluntarily, do you?
293
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,760
So your missus has kicked you out?
294
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,920
Let's say I merely opted
for the lesser of the two evils.
295
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,360
You won't regret it, Marcus.
We have a lot of fun don't we, Rob?
296
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,320
Fun doesn't begin to describe it.
There you are. See?
297
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,480
Where'd we finish last year?
Last I think, Rob.
298
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,240
And the year before that?
Last again I think, Rob.
299
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,120
Yes, you're right again.
Just ignore them, Marcus.
300
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,200
We'll do better this year
with an educated man on board.
301
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,760
Wherever we finish,
you'll enjoy yourself.
302
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,440
I suppose there's a sort
of ghastly fascination
303
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,920
in watching the working class
making idiots of themselves.
304
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,160
No-one's begging you to come.
If you don't want to be here -
305
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,200
Yeah. Thanks, Rob. Joker.
306
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,240
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
307
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,680
Oh, look.
308
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,920
It's the Hedgehoppers.
309
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,480
Oh, and the Bromley boys.
They came third last year.
310
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,480
You have to have a name,
it makes it more fun.
311
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,640
Does it?
Tell them our name, Dave.
312
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,920
We're called The Booze Cruisers.
313
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,440
Why? Because we all went
on a booze cruise last year.
314
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,160
It's all up here.
315
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,200
Fantastic, wasn't it, Rob?
316
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,840
Oh, look. It's Dick Dastardly
and the Wacky Races.
317
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,360
You seem to be making
a lot of calls. Is there a problem?
318
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,200
Oh, no, no, no. I've just got
to call my girlfriend.
319
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,760
Ex-girlfriend, actually.
I think I've made her pregnant.
320
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,840
So, you've all got your packs
321
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,240
containing maps, clues
and answer sheets and the like.
322
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,080
Now, don't open them until
I give you the word, all right?
323
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:12,000
Now, for those of you who've done it
before, you know the drill.
324
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,760
Some answers need to be written
down, some need objects to collect.
325
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,440
And some just need photographing.
326
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:25,840
Apropos of this, Dot is passing out
Polaroid cameras and film.
327
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,680
Ooh, gonna be one of those
weekends, is it? Behave.
328
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,000
Who's that then, Maurice,
your pit crew?
329
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,040
Ah, shut up.
330
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,800
I still want to talk to you
about my lawn.
331
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,840
Now, these cameras are to be used
332
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:43,040
to take photographs
of certain landmarks en route
333
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:47,840
and have been kindly donated
by Malcolm. Thank you, Malcolm.
334
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,480
Now, erm, you'll know which they are
335
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,480
because I've put
a little camera symbol
336
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,280
next to the relevant map reference
on your form, OK.
337
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:05,200
And thanks also to Dave,
who's donated the first prize.
338
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,240
A case of champagne.
339
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,280
(APPLAUSE)
340
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,720
So, I look forward to seeing
you all at about 1:30
341
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,640
at the Royal Oak in Laycock Green
342
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,520
where I shall be collecting
your first set of answers
343
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,760
and issuing Pack Two.
344
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,800
So, good luck, everyone.
345
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,960
Oh, and remember this is not a race.
346
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440
This is not a race.
347
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,960
Why do I bother?
348
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,000
Car, Dot.
349
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,720
Where are you going?
I won't be a sec.
350
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,000
We're going to be last again.
Oh, Marcus.
351
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040
Please, let me.
352
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,080
There we go.
353
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,120
Thank you.
You're welcome.
354
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,120
What's going on?
Nothing.
355
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,160
Ohhh.
356
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,440
(TEXT ALERT)
357
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,160
Who's that?
358
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,200
Oh, it's er, it's work.
359
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,240
Ohhhh.
360
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,120
Come on, come on.
361
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,280
Right, let's get the pack open.
362
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,760
It might be useful
to know where we're going.
363
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,800
What are you laughing at?
Nothing.
364
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,920
We've eight dozen cans of lager,
five dozen Breezers,
365
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,400
three bottles of whisky
and three bottles of vodka.
366
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,960
Is that going to be enough?
Enough for me.
367
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
(PHONE RINGS)
368
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,120
Hello.
369
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,160
Hi, Chloe, it's me.
370
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,360
Look, I don't want to nag
371
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,600
but I still need to know
if I'm the father of this baby.
372
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,880
Or if it's the other bloke.
373
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,160
Oh, for goodness' sake, Daniel.
We've been through all this.
374
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,720
Yeah, I know. I just don't think
you're being particularly fair.
375
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,440
I'm sorry you feel like that
but I can't talk about it right now.
376
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,160
I'm having a party this evening
and I've got a lot to do.
377
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,200
A party? But you're pregnant.
378
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,360
Hey, don't overdo it.
379
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,360
It's just a few of the girls
coming over.
380
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,480
Oh, right, yeah. But still -
381
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,360
Sorry, Daniel, I can't talk about it
right now. Got to go. See ya. Bye.
382
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,960
So, er, what's the first clue?
383
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,880
At Helda Bridge your star sign
looks quite good today.
384
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,760
Look for the one after the ram.
Well, that's straightforward enough.
385
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,800
Good.
386
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,480
And there's a camera symbol so we
have to take a photo of something.
387
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,520
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
388
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,440
What's he hooting for?
Bloody idiot.
389
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,520
One after the ram?
What does that mean?
390
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,200
I think it's obvious. Mind you I do
the Times crossword every morning,
391
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,160
the cryptic one. May I?
392
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,120
Excuse me. I do crosswords too.
393
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,880
Yeah. But you do the ones
with a picture of a hat
394
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,040
with an H crossed out
and a C written in.
395
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,360
Let Marcus have the sheets, Rob,
that way we stand a chance. No.
396
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,640
I am a regular on these things.
Very well.
397
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,680
If you think you can do better.
398
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,720
OK. Let's see.
399
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,760
One after the ram.
400
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,040
One...after the ram.
401
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,080
You know I think we've got to look
402
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,160
for the next star sign
after the ram.
403
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,760
Virgo, we're looking for a virgin.
404
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:45,440
Well, you may be looking for a
virgin but we're looking for a bull.
405
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:50,640
The next star sign after the ram
is Taurus the bull.
406
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,000
We're looking for a bull
somewhere near Helda Bridge.
407
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,240
It's coming up in a mile or so,
Maurice.
408
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,520
Well done, Gracie,
we're off to a flying start.
409
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,080
What do you mean "we"? Grace has
solved it, you've done nothing.
410
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,120
Nothing? I'm doing the driving.
411
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,360
I haven't driven since the war
and I can do better than you.
412
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,920
Right. You want to drive, do you?
Yeah, all right, then. Come on.
413
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,720
Oh, stop it. Maurice.
Stop it, the pair of you.
414
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,760
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
415
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,720
What's he hooting for? It's been
like that all bloody morning.
416
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,760
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
417
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,360
No, I'm not sure this is right, Rob.
I can't see any of the others.
418
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,320
Would they really ask someone
to climb into a field with a bull?
419
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,360
Of course they wouldn't.
420
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,400
You can't bear the idea
of me getting it right, can you?
421
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,480
All right then, Robbie,
there's the camera over you go.
422
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,520
Er, me?
423
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,560
Erm, no. Here you are, Marcus,
you'll be needing that.
424
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,600
He's joking of course, Marcus.
425
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,600
I'll go.
I'll come with you, darling.
426
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,360
You better be right about this, Rob.
I am right.
427
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,880
There's Helda Bridge, there's Taurus
the bull. What else could it be?
428
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:15,120
We need to be in front of the sign,
Maurice. Yeah, all right.
429
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,400
Right. Give us a smile.
430
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,440
Can't you do better than that?
431
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,480
Oh!
432
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,040
Keep still!
It hurts.
433
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,080
I know it does, darling.
434
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,080
But look at the bright side,
at least we've got the picture.
435
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,240
Plus you must have lost
a couple of pounds running about.
436
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,680
You're looking
for a smack in the mouth. Oh!
437
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,920
It is a brilliant picture though,
Dave.
438
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,960
Oh! Ohhhhh.
439
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,480
No man is this.
440
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,520
Intelligent.
Adult.
441
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,560
Worth keeping!
442
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,600
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
443
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,640
Bugger off!
444
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,080
I'm getting fed up with this.
445
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,120
No man is this.
446
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,160
No man is this...
447
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:07,240
Excuse me. I think it would be a
good idea if I took over, don't you?
448
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,080
No. Why?
449
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,520
Your first foray hasn't exactly
covered you in glory, has it?
450
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,560
Come on, give him the pack, Rob.
No.
451
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,600
Go on, Rob.
No, why should I? Dave.
452
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,640
Just give it to him.
Oh.
453
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,320
What a blinding trip
this is turning out to be (!)
454
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,920
He's a good boy!
455
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,240
You can have some sweeties later on.
456
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,360
Ah, you know what we've forgotten?
Serviettes.
457
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,440
We've got kitchen roll.
Fair enough.
458
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,240
(PHONE RINGS)
Guess who?
459
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,240
Hello, Daniel.
460
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,280
Oh, hi. It's me.
461
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,640
Just checking in.
Everything all right?
462
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,760
Yes, yes, everything's fine.
463
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,800
Good. Good.
464
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,560
Right, well, I'll get off the phone,
then. Speak to you later, yeah?
465
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,040
Yes I'm sure you will. Bye.
466
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,160
She's panicking.
467
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,280
Bless.
468
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,320
I think I calmed her down though.
469
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,720
Yes, you must be
a great comfort to her (!)
470
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,960
Oh, here we go.
471
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,040
There we are.
472
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,560
No man is this. An island.
473
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,600
Well done, Marcus.
Yeah, well done.
474
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,640
I'd have got it eventually. I would.
475
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,120
There's a flag on the island
we've got to collect. Easy-peasy.
476
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,160
Right, off you go, Rob.
477
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,280
What do you mean,
"Off you go, Rob?"!
478
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,240
Well, this flag is not
going to collect itself, is it?
479
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,280
Why don't you go?
Very good.
480
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,840
I told you he was a character
didn't I, Marcus?
481
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,600
Go on, Rob, in you go.
Roll your trousers up. Go on.
482
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,200
Do we know how deep this is?
483
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,720
Well, no more than ten or 12 feet.
484
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,760
How long can you hold your breath?
485
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,800
DANIEL:
I think I can see the bottom.
486
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,520
Maybe there's a boat.
Oh, get on with it.
487
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,880
Oh, God! It's bloody freezing!
488
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,360
Ooh, would you like me
to run in a bit more hot?
489
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,120
(LAUGHING)
490
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,800
You found it then.
491
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,840
How'd you get out there?
492
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,400
I walked across.
493
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,040
What are you, Jesus,
you're bone dry?!
494
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,080
There's a bridge on the other side.
495
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,960
What are you doing in the water?
496
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,960
There's a bridge on the other
side.
497
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
You know I thought there might be.
498
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,360
We'll walk round and meet you,
matey-boy.
499
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,080
Hey, Grace, come and look at this.
500
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,120
Oh, do me a favour!
501
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,720
Oh, smile, please!
502
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,600
How's your salad, Dave, all right?
503
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,360
I think it's admirable
when morbidly obese people
504
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,400
make an effort to lose a few pounds.
505
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,440
Are you going to let him say that?
506
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,200
Under the circumstances
I thought I might, yeah.
507
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,280
I think we should
have another drink.
508
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,480
Good idea, Marcus.
I'll have a St Clements.
509
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,320
Or maybe I'll just go
and get them in again.
510
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,440
I'll get them, Dave. Thank you,
I'll have a large gin and tonic.
511
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,480
I'll give you a hand. Same again?
512
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,520
Ladies.
513
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,560
Got your answers?
514
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,200
That's good.
515
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,240
Photos?
516
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,520
Excellent. Got your flag?
517
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,560
Good.
518
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,160
Here we are.
519
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,600
You all right, Mum?
Yes, thanks.
520
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,640
Have you dried out yet?
521
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,200
How have you all been getting on?
522
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,440
Not too sure, Grace. Rob's
been helping us with the clues.
523
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,960
Has he? Dear, dear,
dear, dear, dear.
524
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,640
I assume you got the Bull pub? That
was the easiest one, we thought.
525
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,960
Marcus did say...
Yes. Yes, thank you.
526
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Who's Marcus?
I am.
527
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,840
Oh. I don't think
we've been formally introduced.
528
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,080
Maurice Stringer. How do you do?
Hello.
529
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,200
I'm a neighbour to these reprobates.
Yes, of course you are.
530
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,360
Are you from Petts Wood too?
531
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,520
No. Farnborough Park, The Glen.
532
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,320
Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Very nice.
533
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:16,760
This is my wife Grace.
534
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,920
Hello. How do you do?
Her mother Elsie.
535
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,200
Hello. Delighted.
536
00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,760
Are you enjoying the treasure hunt,
Marcus?
537
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,400
Oh...I'm beside myself.
538
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,360
The Stringers are doing really well.
The Stringers?
539
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,400
It's our team name.
540
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,760
It's not a team name,
that's your surname.
541
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,880
So? You should have a team name
that refers to your team.
542
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,920
Oh, here we go.
Like Tithead and co.
543
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,640
See what I have to put up with?
544
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,400
Anyway, as I was saying,
we're doing really well.
545
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,440
Thanks to Grace here.
546
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,000
She's amazing at this sort of thing,
amazing.
547
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,840
Here, do you
know what I sometimes call her?
548
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,560
Amazing Grace.
549
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,600
Yeah.
550
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,880
Hello. Hello.
ALL: Hello.
551
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,280
Everyone enjoying themselves?
Yeah. Good.
552
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,920
Stringers and the Booze Cruisers,
got your answers?
553
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,160
Good.
554
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,200
Photos?
555
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,600
Excellent.
556
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,560
Just the one?
557
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,360
Your flag.
558
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,760
Good.
559
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,400
And question five...
560
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,280
..cones. Well done.
561
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,560
Booze Cruisers?
562
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,400
Marcus did say -
563
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:48,040
Yes, yes, I know Marcus did say.
Can we just drop it now, please?
564
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,280
(TEXT ALERT)
565
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,920
Right. Anything else?
No, that's all thanks, love.
566
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,440
You're all right, Danny-boy.
You take them, I'll sort this out.
567
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,480
Cheers.
568
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,560
Can I have a slice of that pie
please, love? Certainly, sir.
569
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:25,400
Salad or chips?
Sh! What do you think?
570
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,440
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
571
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,720
All right? Everyone happy?
ALL: Yes.
572
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,120
Good. Ready for stage two?
ALL: Yes.
573
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,680
Good. Packs, Dot.
574
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,640
Now, five clues
to be done this afternoon
575
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,120
and then we're off
to the Linton Springs Hotel
576
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,040
where we're all staying tonight.
577
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,080
Not quite all.
578
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,120
By the way, question three.
579
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:55,280
What is the garden gnome in
the front of Honeydew Cottage doing?
580
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,640
Well, of course, the answer
was supposed to have been fishing.
581
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,800
However, some bright
spark stole his rod.
582
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,960
But we're accepting
both answers, all right?
583
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,000
Are you all right, Mum?
584
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,040
Do you need the loo before we go?
585
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,600
Yes, I think I'd better.
I'm feeling a bit poorly.
586
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,640
Are you?
Mm.
587
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,880
No rush.
588
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,920
Oh, stop it.
589
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,600
All right! Let's roll. Where's Rob?
590
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,640
He's outside making a call.
591
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,680
Oh, well, let's go.
592
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,160
Hang on a minute, love,
you've cut yourself.
593
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,200
How have you done that?
594
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:42,000
That's ketchup.
No, no. Can't be.
595
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,520
Come on we've got to go.
David, what have you been eating?
596
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,200
As soon as I know I will give you a
call and maybe we can get together.
597
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:54,360
I tell you what...
try rebooting your hard drive. Yeah.
598
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,320
Yeah, that ought to do it.
599
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,400
And any more problems
just give me a bell.
600
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,440
OK. Bye.
601
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,360
All right?
Yeah, yeah.
602
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,040
You think I could get away from work
for one weekend, wouldn't you?
603
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,080
Wouldn't you? I had no idea
you were so indispensable.
604
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:12,920
What have you been doing?
Nothing.
605
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,880
You're lying.
I'm not. Cross my heart.
606
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,960
That's not your heart.
Give it a rest.
607
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,600
Are we off, then?
No, we're waiting for Marcus.
608
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,640
Leave him here.
609
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,920
I tell you, Dave, he says
one more word, I'm gonna thump him.
610
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,280
Shall I go and get him?
Cheers, Danny-boy.
611
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,920
I don't like him either but I'm
trying to make some serious money.
612
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,280
Keep a lid on it, will you?
Yeah, all right.
613
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,160
Once he's signed the contract,
can I thump him then?
614
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,920
Look at everybody, they're all
going. We're going to be last again.
615
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,960
Ah, there you are.
616
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,320
Oh, I do hope I haven't
kept you all waiting.
617
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,200
No, no, no, Marcus. No rush.
Whenever you're ready.
618
00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:49,680
By the way, Marcus,
I am doing the next clue.
619
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,960
But how exciting! I wonder where
we'll all end up this time.
620
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,440
Come on, Grace,
we're falling behind.
621
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,480
Mum's not feeling well, Maurice.
622
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,520
What? She'll be all right.
623
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,560
She's not well, Maurice.
624
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,800
I think we should stay here
and let her lie down for a while.
625
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,840
Stay here? Oh, no.
626
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,400
I tell you what, why don't we put
her in the back of the camper van?
627
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,240
Then she can get her head down
for a couple of hours.
628
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,000
Well, all right.
Is that all right with you, dear?
629
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,040
Come on.
630
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,560
Come on, hurry up.
Oh, for goodness' sake!
631
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,880
Are you ready?
632
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:46,920
Say miaow.
633
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,600
It's going well.
634
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:12,280
# And it's hi-ho silver lining
635
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,480
# Everywhere you go now, baby
636
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,840
# I see your sun is shining
637
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:20,880
# But I won't make a fuss
638
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,920
# Because it's obvious
639
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,120
# Do-do do-do-do
640
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,480
# You're everywhere
and nowhere, baby... #
641
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,560
Hello.
Hiya.
642
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,600
All right? You're late.
643
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,680
It's a wonder we're here at all
with Rob doing the clues.
644
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,720
This way.
645
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,280
No, I'm sure
we've been this way before.
646
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,320
All looks the same to me.
647
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,360
Eh, have you got any shears?
648
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,400
Are you all right?
649
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,440
Yeah.
650
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,480
What are you going to do
about Chloe?
651
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,960
She hasn't given me much choice.
She doesn't want me involved.
652
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,400
She thinks I'll be sticking around
for all the wrong reasons.
653
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:41,360
She might be right. You and Juliet
have just got yourselves sorted out.
654
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,400
You don't want to give that up.
655
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,960
I still think I should give Chloe
some kind of support, you know?
656
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000
Financial, emotional.
657
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,760
She's a modern girl, Danny-boy.
Modern girls can cope on their own.
658
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,400
Is this the middle?
659
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,440
I can't see a sundial.
660
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,200
Ah, come on.
661
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:04,440
Look, just don't rush in to
anything, OK? Just think about it.
662
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,480
I will.
663
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,960
This way?
It's a tricky one though, isn't it?
664
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000
What's a tricky one?
665
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,440
Chloe wants to bring the baby up
without any help from Daniel.
666
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,880
You jammy bugger.
How'd you swing that one?
667
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,920
I'm trying to give him some advice.
668
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,960
I'll give you advice, get back to
France before she changes her mind.
669
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,960
You might think getting shacked up
is cosy and romantic
670
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,840
but give it a couple of months,
she'll be all over the baby,
671
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,600
you'll be out of the picture.
672
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,640
And all you'll have to show for it
will be sleepless nights
673
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:37,280
and jumpers that smell of baby sick.
My advice is stay single.
674
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,080
Excuse me, lads, incoming.
675
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,360
Hello. Ha-ha-ha-ha. How are you?
676
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,560
Well, that was helpful.
677
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,720
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
678
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,760
Ah shut up!
679
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,960
Can we stop, Maurice,
I need the loo?
680
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,960
And Mum'll want to stretch her legs.
Let's stop and have a cup of tea.
681
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
Tea?
682
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,040
Oh, all right.
683
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,080
Ah.
684
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,760
Don't you dare.
685
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,360
Well, it looked all right to me.
686
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:40,560
Ah, there you are.
I'd almost given up hope.
687
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,080
We've been wandering about for
ages. You could've given us a shout.
688
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,120
And spoil your fun?
I hardly think so.
689
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,200
Come on, everybody.
Hurry up, Rob, take the photograph.
690
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:52,240
I haven't got the camera.
691
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,840
Won't be long.
692
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:15,680
Right, a quick ten minutes.
I'll go in and order the tea.
693
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,080
Oh, well that explains everything.
694
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,120
Maurice. Maurice!
695
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,080
You won't believe
what he's done this time.
696
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,120
Look. It's Mum.
697
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:37,560
I think she's...she's dead.
698
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,920
No, surely not.
699
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,240
Oh, Grace...
700
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,280
..I'm so sorry.
701
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,480
Excuse me, can you help?
702
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,640
My wife's mother
has just passed away.
703
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,680
Oh, dear. What ward was she in?
704
00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:39,960
She's not in a ward,
she's in a camper van.
705
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,120
It's gone.
Oh, my God.
706
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,160
Somebody's stolen Mother!
707
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,160
I don't know why we've nicked
this, Kev.
708
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,920
Because, my friend,
it'll be full of good gear.
709
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,400
Trust me, Carl, these things
are always full of surprises.
710
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,520
Is Dave still upset about missing
that clue in the woods?
711
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,160
Don't worry about him, love,
he'll get over it.
712
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,520
Once he's had a hot bath
and something to eat.
713
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,560
We can put you in room 218, sir.
714
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:41,320
I would prefer a suite
if you have such a thing.
715
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,840
Of course, Mr Forster.
The Wyndham Suite?
716
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,880
Excellent.
Are you getting a suite?
717
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,920
Yes.
Whooo!
718
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,000
His lordship's in the Wyndham Suite.
719
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,040
Oh, dear,
how sadly predictable you are.
720
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,680
You resent the fact
that I have status and money
721
00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:58,640
and you respond
with low-grade scorn and contempt.
722
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,640
I've employed people like you for
decades.
723
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,680
Talentless drones who lack
motivation and ambition.
724
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,040
For you,
it's anything for a quiet life,
725
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,000
whereas for me
it's anything for a better life.
726
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,640
Now I would love to stay and indulge
in a battle of wits with you...
727
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,320
..but I don't fight unarmed men.
728
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,760
If you'll excuse me.
729
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,520
He-he-he. Got a carvery tonight.
Should be good. Ha-ha-ha.
730
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,560
I'm going to get a drink.
731
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,520
What have I said?
732
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,040
I don't know
the registration number.
733
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,080
But it's easy enough to spot.
734
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,920
A white camper van with
"Hoot Me I'm A Tosser" on the back.
735
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,000
Bloody hooligan! I'll have words
with him - Oh, shut up!
736
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,440
Shut up,
you stupid, insensitive old fool.
737
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:53,040
I've lost my mother for God's sake.
Yeah, right. I'm sorry, Gracie.
738
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,080
Must be the grief speaking.
739
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,800
Hi!
740
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,400
Chloe. Chloe, hi.
741
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,080
Hi. I hope you don't mind,
I've brought a friend.
742
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,120
Of course not, come on in.
743
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,680
Dominic, this is Chloe.
Chloe, this is Dominic.
744
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,720
Yes, I know.
745
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,120
Oh, bloody hell.
746
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,800
Mr and Mrs Stringer,
I have some news for you.
747
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,880
Have you found the camper van?
We've found your mother.
748
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,600
Oh, thank God.
She was all over the M11.
749
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,640
Oh, no.
750
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,920
Sorry. Let me rephrase that.
Your mother is alive and well.
751
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,680
She's alive?!
Yes?
752
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:44,360
She was driving the camper van
in an attempt to get
to your sister's place in Watford.
753
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,120
But she hasn't driven since the war.
754
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,520
That's probably why
she was all over the M11.
755
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,560
We thought she was dead.
756
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,840
Not dead. Just exhausted,
according to the police doctor.
757
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:56,880
And she's all right, you say?
758
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,960
She's fine. A little disorientated.
759
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,440
They're checking her out at Watford
General
760
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,440
and your sister's picking her up.
761
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,960
Oh, thank you, officer.
Thank you so much.
762
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000
What a relief isn't it, Maurice?
763
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,920
Oh, yes, yeah, absolutely.
764
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,960
I say...
765
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,600
when are you bringing
the camper van back?
766
00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:19,800
I'm telling you,
I came that close to thumping him.
767
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,680
Talentless drone,
I'll give him talentless drone.
768
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:26,400
Who the bloody hell
does he think he is? Pillock.
(TEXT ALERT)
769
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,280
I don't care what Dave says,
770
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,920
if that git says one more word
to me, I'll thump him.
771
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:37,480
I know it'll cause problems for
Dave, I don't care, I'll thump him.
772
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,520
Whose is it?
I mean, is it - is it, is it...
773
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,160
Oh, for goodness' sake, Dominic. I'm
not looking for a man in my life.
774
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,160
I'm bringing this baby up on my own.
775
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,320
Oh. Cool.
776
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,480
Hello. Aren't you
going to introduce me?
777
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:55,680
Sally, Dominic. Dominic, Sally.
778
00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:57,960
Dominic? THE Dominic?
779
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,880
Yes. Whoa. This is going to be
an entertaining evening.
780
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,240
Are you sure I can't tempt you
to a glass of champagne?
781
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,280
No. Thank you, Marcus.
782
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:12,960
So, your mum's all right, then?
783
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,800
Yes, she's fine.
784
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:18,560
I rang my sister and she said Mum
is none the worse for her ordeal.
785
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,480
That's fantastic. Panic over.
Must be a relief, Maurice.
786
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:26,440
Great. Shelled out a small fortune
on new clothes and toiletries.
787
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:30,120
All our stuff is in the camper van.
I bet we never get it back.
788
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,280
Oh, shut up.
Just saying.
789
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,320
(DANCE MUSIC)
790
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,000
Bit noisy through there.
I'll go and have a word.
791
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,040
You'll do no such thing.
792
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:42,080
It's an engagement party,
let them enjoy themselves.
793
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,960
Let's have another round.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
794
00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:51,800
Oh, what, me? Oh. Yeah, right.
795
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,120
Same again?
BOTH: Yes, please.
796
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,240
Well the Booze Cruisers
are probably sixth.
797
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,280
Sixth. Hey, we're not last any more.
798
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,560
No, with the Stringers pulling out,
there's only six left.
799
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,760
Oh, bugger it. I wish we hadn't
missed that clue in the woods.
800
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,520
It's not too late, Dave.
801
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,840
We're not
collecting the answers 'til 11
802
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:13,880
then me and Dot will be up until one
marking them. Aren't we, Dot?
803
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,880
Hey, that's it.
804
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,640
We go back to the woods and
photograph that last clue.
805
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,560
Get your coat.
We haven't eaten yet.
806
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:25,320
Half an hour there, half an hour
back. You coming, Danny-boy? Yeah.
807
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,960
Must be mad.
808
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,840
Hello.
809
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,720
Good evening.
810
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,760
Are you on your own?
811
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,800
Sorry?
812
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:41,840
Would you like some company?
813
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,640
Company?
With me.
814
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:45,680
Oh. Er...
815
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:49,080
Oh, well, that's very nice.
816
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:54,040
But I'm with some friends, actually.
They're over there with my wife.
817
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:59,520
Oh, I see.
Oh, well. Another time, eh?
818
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,520
Why don't you come and join us?
819
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,680
I don't think so. Thanks.
820
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,720
We'll be back before you know it.
I'm going to keep him company.
821
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:16,040
Make sure you've got your phone.
So you don't miss any messages.
822
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,880
What's that supposed to mean?
Come on, matey-boy.
823
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:24,240
What's going on?
Nothing.
824
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,800
Here we are. You're going to
have to watch out, Grace.
825
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:31,440
You've got competition.
What are you rambling on about now?
826
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,920
The woman over there
was trying to chat me up.
827
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,720
What the one in the blue dress?
Yeah.
828
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,760
She's a prostitute, Maurice.
829
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:40,800
What?
830
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,640
I mean ask yourself,
what woman who looks like that
831
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,560
is going to be interested
in a raddled old specimen like you
832
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,320
if money's not involved?
833
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,360
Oh.
834
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:55,080
I mean, she hasn't said anything
but I reckon it's mine. You think?
835
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:58,040
I thought you only did it once.
Once is enough with me.
836
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,480
I mean we're talking quality
not quantity.
837
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:04,040
Yeah, I remember
this bloke Daniel at school.
838
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:08,000
He's a little scrawny geezer. He's
probably got little scrawny sperm.
839
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,040
It stands to reason, doesn't it?
840
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,480
Whereas I have got
torpedoes in my trousers.
841
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,040
Ooh, what a class act you are (!)
842
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:19,440
No, no, no, no. All I'm saying is
if they wore uniforms,
843
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:23,960
my sperm would be SAS whereas his
would probably be Salvation Army.
844
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000
Argh!
845
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,840
Half an hour there and back.
You'll be home before you know it.
846
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,080
We've missed dinner,
and the deadline.
847
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,720
It must be here somewhere.
The stone crossing.
848
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:39,160
You said you knew where it was.
It's in this forest somewhere.
849
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,440
So's Center Parc and we haven't
stumbled over that either.
850
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,280
Don't be so negative, Rob.
It's close, very close.
851
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,560
I think it's just a bit
north west of here.
852
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,520
Oh, it's just a bit north west
of here. Marvellous (!)
853
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,280
Get out your sextant, Captain Cook,
you'll have us there in no time.
854
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,840
Don't be so hard on the lad,
it's not his fault.
855
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,400
No, it's yours for having dragged us
out here in the first place.
856
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,640
Shall we try this way?
857
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,080
Oh, yes, let's (!)
858
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,720
Oh!
859
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,760
Terrific.
860
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:16,920
So, what's the plan tomorrow, Grace,
If you haven't got the camper van?
861
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,760
Go home, I suppose. After we drive
to Watford to pick up her mother.
862
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,040
You can't go home. There's still
another day of clues to go.
863
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,400
Why don't you come in with us?
There's plenty of room in our car.
864
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,440
That'd be terrific. I'd love that.
865
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,080
Ooh, I wonder
where the lads have got to.
866
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,600
It's not like my Dave
to miss a meal.
867
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,400
I'm used to Rob being out all night.
868
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,440
What a waste.
869
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,360
So, Marcus,
what's your line of country?
870
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,400
Hmm?
871
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,440
What is it exactly that you do?
872
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,120
Well, I suppose I could spend
the next 20 minutes
873
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:59,000
explaining the complexities
of my business to you.
874
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:02,760
No doubt you would nod sagely as if
you knew what I was talking about.
875
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,640
But I think we'd both be wasting our
time, so please don't let's bother.
876
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,760
Fair enough.
877
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:10,800
Aaaarrrggghhh!
878
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,520
AAARRRGGGHHH!
879
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,720
How much longer
will that ambulance be?
880
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,760
What did they say when you phoned?
881
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,920
I didn't phone them,
I thought you did. Men!
882
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,800
Oh! I'll do it.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!
883
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,840
Ha-ha-ha. I've heard that before.
884
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,640
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!
885
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:30,880
So Dave's
having to bite his tongue a bit
886
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,560
in the hope of getting
this big, juicy contract.
887
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:38,360
Oh, I see. I wondered why Dave was
being so nice to a man like that.
888
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:40,400
# La-la-la la-la-la-la-la
889
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,440
Grace!
890
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:44,480
# La-la-la la-la-la-la-la
891
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,520
# Na-na-na
892
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,880
You know I think it's truly criminal
893
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,040
the way your husband
has abandoned you like this.
894
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,360
Well, that's Rob. I'm used to it.
895
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,400
I am enjoying our little chat.
Why don't we adjourn
896
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:03,040
to somewhere a bit less noisy
and I'll order some champagne?
897
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,080
No, thank you.
898
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,080
So, erm, I understand
that you and Dave
899
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,320
are going to be doing
some business together.
900
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,360
I beg your pardon?
901
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,120
I heard you were the person
who issued the contracts.
902
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:20,480
I am, but I'm hardly likely
to issue one in Dave's direction.
903
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,760
Oh, I like the chap enormously
and we've had some very good times.
904
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,320
But he's not quite ready to play
with the big boys just yet.
905
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,360
You know what I mean.
906
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,640
You've been quick enough
to accept his hospitality so far.
907
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,160
Yes, I know. Not fair, is it?
908
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:40,080
But what can one say?
C'est la guerre.
909
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,120
Here we are.
910
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:45,840
Leonie.
911
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:47,880
Come here.
912
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:55,360
So, Marcus, a chance for you and me
to get better acquainted, eh?
913
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,520
Can we please get some of these
people out of here?
914
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:13,120
Attention! Can we have interested
parties only in here, please?
915
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,400
Oh, for goodness' sake!
Out. Come on, out.
916
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:24,400
It's all right, I found Alison
and she's training to be a midwife.
917
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,440
Oh, that's handy.
Here she is.
918
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,080
Right, Ali, what do we do?
919
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:32,120
Aarrgghh!
920
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:35,960
Well, that's useful (!)
921
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,840
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!
922
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,480
Oh, no.
923
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,840
Well, that's the end of that.
924
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,600
That's probably the end of us.
We'll be all right.
925
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,360
That's what they said
in The Blair Witch Project.
926
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,400
(GURGLING)
927
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:03,440
What was that?
928
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,480
Oh, that's just my stomach.
929
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,960
Well, can you keep it
under control, please?
930
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:13,200
Hey, we've got mobiles.
We could call for help.
931
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:14,240
Ah!
932
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,280
Yeah, brilliant.
933
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:20,320
Who are you gonna call? The police?
Coastguard? International Rescue (?)
934
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:25,680
"Yeah, we're in a forest. We can't
give you our precise location but
it's dark and full of trees."
935
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,720
Oh, yeah. Good point.
936
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,560
(GROWLING)
937
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,920
Will you keep your stomach
under control?
938
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,960
That wasn't me that time.
939
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,000
Oh, shit.
940
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:43,600
Look, I'm really sorry, OK?
I wish I'd never brought us here.
941
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,640
You're sorry (!)
942
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:48,920
I'm going to ring Cath. She'll
be out of her mind with worry.
943
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:53,960
# And so you're back
from outer space
944
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,360
# I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
945
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,360
# I should have changed that stupid
lock,
946
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:02,120
# I should have
made you leave your key
947
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:06,240
# If I'd have known for just one
second you'd be back to bother me
948
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,280
# Go on now go
949
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,320
# Walk out the door
950
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,360
# Just turn around now
951
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,840
# Cos you're not welcome any more
952
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:18,200
# Weren't you the one who tried
to break me with your lies?
953
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,480
No, voicemail.
Must have gone to bed.
954
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,560
Come on.
955
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,240
# I will survive
956
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:34,560
# As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
957
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:38,200
# I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
958
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:40,240
# I'll survive
959
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:43,400
# I will survive, hey, hey! #
960
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,400
Hm. Hm-hm-hm-hm.
961
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:54,360
What?
962
00:59:54,400 --> 01:00:00,120
I was just thinking, what would
Harry Potter do in this situation?
963
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:03,040
That's a good question that, Dave.
964
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,760
Perfect. I'm lost in the woods
with a pair of nutters.
965
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,680
We're never
gonna find the car in the dark.
966
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:14,640
We'll have to wait till daylight.
That's hours away.
967
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:16,680
Well, what else can we do?
968
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,360
# In the roaring traffic's boom
969
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:27,000
# In the silence of my lonely room
970
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:29,520
# I think of you
971
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:32,400
# Night and day
972
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,280
# Day and night
973
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,840
# Under the hide of me
974
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:48,880
# There's, oh, such a hungry
yearning burning inside of me
975
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:53,280
# And this torment won't be through
976
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:58,560
# Till you let me spend my life
making love to you
977
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,600
# Day and night
978
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,440
# Night and day #
979
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:14,680
Oh, no.
980
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,720
What?
981
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:19,840
I've lost the car keys.
Oh, you are not serious?!
982
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:23,680
Search your pocket. They must have
come out when I fell in that ditch.
983
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:26,240
Well, that just about
puts the bloody lid on it.
984
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,800
Oh, no, hang on. Hey! Whoo!
985
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,840
Ta-daaaa!
986
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,040
Oh, look, the car's just here.
987
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,080
The car's just here?!
988
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,320
We've been sitting on a bloody
tree stump for an hour and a half
989
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,160
and the car's just here?!
990
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,160
That was a stroke of luck,
wasn't it? Shut up!
991
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,200
Keep breathing, well done.
992
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,240
AAARRRGGGHHH!
993
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,080
The ambulance is here.
994
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,840
The ambulance is here, Chloe.
About bloody time!
995
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:52,880
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
996
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:55,280
Just breathe...breeeeaaathe.
997
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,680
That's it. Relax.
How can I relax?!
998
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,720
It's the police.
999
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:01,760
Oh, bloody hell.
1000
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,800
They've had a complaint
about the noise. Aaarrrggghhh!
1001
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,640
Chloe, sorry,
they're complaining about the noise.
1002
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:09,160
Aaarrrggghhh!
1003
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,640
That was a right laugh.
Whoo, I'm exhausted.
1004
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,680
I'm surprised at you, Grace.
1005
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:16,920
I thought I knew you. I never
realised that you were such a -
1006
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,280
..diva?
Exhibitionist I was going to say.
1007
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:22,240
Stop being such a killjoy
and get us some more drinks.
1008
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:25,320
You'll be lucky. You've had
more than enough - Maurice.
1009
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,360
All right.
1010
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,800
Hey. Marcus is going up
with the tart.
1011
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:36,240
I don't care what he does as long as
he gives my Dave a contract.
1012
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:38,280
He's got no intention of doing that.
1013
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:40,320
What?
1014
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:42,800
He told me earlier
he's stringing him along.
1015
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,640
No, Cath. There's nothing to be
gained by going after him.
1016
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,680
It'll make me feel better.
1017
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:52,240
It won't. You'll spoil the evening
and regret it in the morning.
1018
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:55,480
I won't let him get away with it.
I'm not suggesting you do.
1019
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:58,760
But now is not the time.
This needs a little thinking about.
1020
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,520
Dave will go mad when he hears.
1021
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:10,280
Oh, isn't he lovely.
Chloe, he's beautiful.
1022
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,440
He looks like Elton John.
That's a terrible thing to say.
1023
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:16,560
I can't help how he looks.
Aren't you a sweetheart?
1024
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:18,600
Oh, thanks.
Not you.
1025
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,120
Oh, I'm gonna spoil you rotten.
1026
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:26,320
And then when you're 18 you'll bring
all your hunky friends around to
meet your Auntie Sally. Behave.
1027
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,400
Hey, I bet your parents
are thrilled.
1028
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:32,440
Mum burst into tears. She's already
planning the christening.
1029
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:36,200
Can you hand me my phone? There's
somebody else I need to contact.
1030
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:40,720
What the hell's happened to you lot?
1031
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:44,200
Ask George of the Jungle here.
Three brandies, please.
1032
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,280
We got a little bit lost.
1033
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,440
Before or after you found the clue?
1034
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:52,760
Finding the clue became irrelevant
after the first three hours.
1035
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,920
Look, I said I'm sorry. All right?
1036
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:57,800
Dave, I've got to talk to you
about something later.
1037
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:01,160
Not now, pet. All I want is a
stiff drink, a hot bath and my bed.
1038
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,200
(TEXT ALERT)
1039
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,240
Not me.
That makes a change.
1040
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,640
It's Chloe. She's had the baby.
1041
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,480
What's she had? I've got to go.
I've got to get back.
1042
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,360
How much does it weigh?
Where's the train station?
1043
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:17,720
There won't be any trains.
You never know.
1044
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:21,080
Go and get your bag, I'll wait
in the car. Are you coming, Rob?
1045
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:23,280
Yeah, all right.
1046
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:28,000
His chances of finding the station
alone are really very thin.
1047
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,400
You know,
apart from your mother being ill,
1048
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,960
this has all worked out rather well.
1049
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:38,160
This is a very nice hotel,
I have to say.
1050
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,800
Well, it beats the camper van,
that's for sure.
1051
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:43,920
Yeah, yeah. I admit I was wrong
about that one.
1052
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:48,920
And there's something about a hotel
1053
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:53,840
that puts people in a romantic mood,
don't you think?
1054
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:55,920
What?
1055
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:59,320
Oh. Yeah, right.
1056
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:02,960
Oh, do you know what I've done?
I've left my glasses in the lounge.
1057
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:06,480
All right, I'll get them.
Oh, no, no, no.
1058
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:10,800
You go to the bathroom
and freshen up and clean your teeth.
1059
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:13,840
And I'll be back in a minute.
Right.
1060
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,840
Hey, don't be long.
1061
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,880
I won't.
1062
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:39,480
I'm sorry to bother you
but my husband's asleep
1063
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,520
and I don't want to wake him.
1064
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,680
And the problem is that
he's got the key inside the room.
1065
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,640
Don't worry, madam, what room is it?
Er, the Wyndham Suite.
1066
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,520
Mr and Mrs Forster.
1067
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,560
Right. If you'd like to follow me.
1068
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,800
# Do-do do dooooo
1069
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:11,880
If we could just do this
as quietly as possible...
1070
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:13,920
Of course, madam.
1071
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:55,880
(WHISPERS) Thank you very much.
1072
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,720
Not at all, madam. Night.
Good night.
1073
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,720
By the time we got back
she's crashed out on the bed
1074
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:25,560
fully dressed with the TV on.
1075
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:29,320
Mine was sparko. She wasn't there
when I woke up. They're swimming.
1076
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:32,560
Morning, Dave. Morning, Rob.
Morning, Lawrence.
1077
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:35,920
I was expecting to see you last
night with a missing clue.
1078
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:39,240
No luck, eh? Never mind.
There's always today.
1079
01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:41,120
Who knows what will happen?
1080
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:44,800
Based on past experience, I think
I can hazard a pretty good guess.
1081
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,960
So, Lawrence,
any chance of any advance tips?
1082
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:50,840
All the clues are in the packs,
David, you know that.
1083
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:53,640
I know that, I know that.
Very good too.
1084
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:55,400
I'm looking forward to it.
1085
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:59,160
I thought you might tip us the wink.
What with us being in last place.
1086
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:02,240
Oh, I can't do that, old man. Sorry.
1087
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:05,000
Come on, Lawrence,
I'll make it worth your while.
1088
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,040
Dave. Three years of coming last.
1089
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:09,800
You can see that can't you?
He's still a bit tired.
1090
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,680
I am begging you, Lawrence.
I'm so sorry about this.
1091
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:15,520
What harm can it do, eh?
Lawrence, please, please!
1092
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,560
How about a shower system at cost?
1093
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,400
Half price?
1094
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:22,920
Free?
Dave, it's a treasure hunt.
1095
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:26,400
Yeah.
1096
01:08:26,440 --> 01:08:28,440
Sorry.
1097
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,480
Come along, Dot.
1098
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:40,640
Marcus.
1099
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:43,840
Good morning.
Good morning.
1100
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:46,080
I'm so glad I ran into you.
1101
01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:49,440
There's something I want
to chat to you about. Oh?
1102
01:08:49,480 --> 01:08:51,480
It's this.
1103
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:00,080
I know it's only a Polaroid
1104
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:03,240
but it's a surprisingly
clear picture, don't you think?
1105
01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:07,200
I think I've caught you rather well.
In more ways than one.
1106
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,520
It was you last night.
Hmm.
1107
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:11,560
I only saw the flash.
1108
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:15,120
I don't think your wife would be
too thrilled to see that, do you?
1109
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:19,400
Blackmail. Oh, yes I suppose
you could call it that.
1110
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:21,240
Well, what is it you want? Money?
1111
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:24,160
Oh, please, nothing so vulgar.
1112
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,200
I want you to be nice.
1113
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:29,600
Nice?!
Nice. To my friends.
1114
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:31,640
Perhaps I should explain.
1115
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:36,280
I don't know what came over me.
1116
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:39,320
It's called desperation, mate,
don't worry about it.
1117
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:42,880
Did I seem desperate to you?
Not so's anyone would notice, no (!)
1118
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:44,920
Oh, goody, the Earl of Gitdom is up.
1119
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:49,360
Look, Rob -
1120
01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:53,840
It's all right, not going to say
anything. You don't have to worry.
1121
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:57,280
I realise how hard it's been
for you. You know, with Marcus.
1122
01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:02,160
I know you're trying hard and
I appreciate you making the effort.
Thanks, matey-boy.
1123
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:05,400
Oh. Oh, I don't know what to say,
mate, I'm moved.
1124
01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:07,800
Mind you I'd still rather thump him.
1125
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:11,160
Good morning, David.
Good morning, Rob.
1126
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:13,680
Ah-ha, the full English fry-up.
1127
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:17,680
Here we go. What's up, Marcus, this
all a bit too working class for you?
1128
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:21,360
I'm sure if you ask nicely they'll
rustle you up some quail's eggs.
1129
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:25,240
Oh, no, I was just thinking
I'll have what you're having.
1130
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:27,840
It looks absolutely delicious.
1131
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:30,080
What's going on?
First you being nice, now him.
1132
01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:33,600
Morning, all. Morning.
Lovely morning.
1133
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:35,880
I can't cope with this,
I need to lie down.
1134
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:40,120
Oh, David, before you go,
I would just like a quick word.
1135
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:42,160
Oh, yeah.
1136
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,320
We've got this large
housing development taking place.
1137
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,600
Swallowfields,
I've heard all about it.
1138
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:50,840
I was rather hoping to involve
your company in some way.
1139
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:54,680
Would you be interested? Would I?
I'd bite your hand off for an order.
1140
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:57,560
Putting aside
your cannibalistic tendencies...
1141
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:01,120
I'll get my people to make contact
some time next week.
1142
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:03,200
Oh, magic. Thanks very much, Marcus.
1143
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,880
Cath, you'll never guess
what just happened.
1144
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:10,440
Marcus has had a chat with me
about a contract.
1145
01:11:10,480 --> 01:11:13,480
What do you think you're doing?
I'm having breakfast.
1146
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:16,720
You're not eating that. I am.
You're not. Listen will you?
1147
01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:20,400
I'll get you a nice bowl of muesli.
I didn't have dinner last night.
1148
01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:24,000
No, Dave. Down, boy, down!
Drop it! Drop -
1149
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:26,040
Ooh, you bad boy!
1150
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:29,480
Cath, I've had enough.
I'm not listening to you any more.
1151
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:31,320
It's only for your own good.
1152
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:33,560
I know you mean well
but I don't want to diet.
1153
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:36,040
But you said you did.
Yeah, well, now I don't.
1154
01:11:36,080 --> 01:11:38,680
You have to accept
that I'll never be Brad Pitt.
1155
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:42,040
But, Dave - Look, I'm perfectly
happy the way I am.
1156
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:45,080
Take it or leave it. Now, do you
want to hear my news? No!
1157
01:11:45,120 --> 01:11:47,560
Oh, please yourself,
I'm having breakfast.
1158
01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:52,280
Right, everyone, if I could just
have your attention. Thank you.
1159
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:56,880
Dot is about to hand out packs
for day two. Packs, Dot.
1160
01:11:56,920 --> 01:11:58,920
Ooh!
1161
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:04,840
Now, you'll also be getting
buckets and spades.
1162
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:09,200
Donated by Jimmy's Toy Box.
Thank you, Jimmy.
1163
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:18,320
Now, the need for these will become
apparent as the day progresses.
1164
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:21,920
Anyway, good luck to you all
and see you all by the seaside, eh?
1165
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,960
ALL: Ooh!
1166
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:26,680
Oh. I guess that's a
bit of a giveaway there.
1167
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:30,120
Yes. Come on.
Buckets, buckets, buckets.
1168
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:37,120
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Dave.
1169
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:38,920
Because they lost their van,
1170
01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:41,560
I told Maurice and Grace
they could come in with us.
1171
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:44,960
You did what? It's all right.
We've got plenty of room.
1172
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,120
It's not about
how much room we've got.
1173
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,160
God, I knew this was
too good to last.
1174
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:51,200
Oh, don't be so petty.
1175
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:53,680
I'll be squashed
up against old face-ache again.
1176
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:55,560
It's like Groundhog Day.
1177
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:58,240
I'm sorry. You cannot
deliver the Mail on Sunday
1178
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:00,280
then charge me for the Sunday Times.
1179
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:04,040
I know there's only 30p difference
but there's a principle at stake.
1180
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:13,120
Grace. So you're coming with us now?
If that's OK with you.
1181
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:17,520
Don't give it a second thought.
We really appreciate it.
1182
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:20,400
It's great to have you along.
Who's doing the clues?
1183
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,880
Not Rob,
he's the reason we're in last place.
1184
01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:25,040
That's a bit harsh.
It's true, though.
1185
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:27,120
No, what we need
is a bit of girl power.
1186
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:30,800
Girl power?
Yes, Mr Lost-in-the-woods-all-night.
1187
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:36,240
Girl power. Here you are, Grace.
Over to you.
1188
01:13:36,280 --> 01:13:38,280
(TEXT ALERT)
1189
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:41,040
Oh, for God's sake!
1190
01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:43,720
What, it's work?!
No it's not, Rob.
1191
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:47,200
It's not work, it's never work.
Don't insult my intelligence.
1192
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:49,920
It's...oh, it's Jackie.
1193
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:51,640
Would this be the same Jackie
1194
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:54,200
that sent you four texts
in the car yesterday?
1195
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:57,480
The same Jackie you were talking to
in the pub car park, hmm?
1196
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:00,440
The same Jackie who texted you
in our room last night?
1197
01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:02,480
Last night?
Oh, you're pathetic.
1198
01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:04,520
You think you are so bloody clever.
1199
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,560
But do you know
what the real irony is, Rob?
1200
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:10,320
All the time you've been
treating me like an idiot,
1201
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:13,280
you haven't had the sense
to clear your call register
1202
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,360
or delete messages
or throw away restaurant receipts.
1203
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:18,400
Can we talk about this?
No.
1204
01:14:18,440 --> 01:14:20,160
There is nothing to talk about.
1205
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:23,720
Who is she, anyway?
Another hairdresser?
1206
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:26,480
Another barmaid?
Another aerobics instructor?
1207
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,960
She's no-one. She's nothing.
She's just someone I met, that's all.
1208
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,880
She doesn't mean anything to me.
1209
01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:33,920
No, they never do, do they?
1210
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:37,160
God, I am just so sick of this.
Leonie, it stopped ages ago.
1211
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:39,640
I can't help it
if she keeps texting me, can I?
1212
01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:41,800
And I'm supposed to believe that,
am I?
1213
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:44,840
Yes, it's stopped, Leonie.
I promise you faithfully.
1214
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:48,960
Faithfully?! Oh, that's great coming
from a serial adulterer like you.
1215
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,840
Shut up. Shut up, I've had enough.
1216
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:56,160
I've closed my eyes to your
screwing around for the last time,
do you hear me?
1217
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:59,280
Now, you're going to call her
and tell her it is over.
1218
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,640
No more phone calls,
no more texts, right?
1219
01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:05,280
No more contact, Rob. None.
1220
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:06,720
OK.
1221
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:08,440
I mean it, Rob.
1222
01:15:08,480 --> 01:15:12,120
If I find out you're still in touch
with her then we are finished.
1223
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:15,080
You pack it in now or you are out,
do you understand me?
1224
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:18,080
Right.
1225
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:38,280
(WHIMPERS)
1226
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:45,000
Hi.
1227
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,960
Daniel! What are you doing here?
1228
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,360
I thought you were off
on some treasure hunt.
1229
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:53,960
I was. I left as soon as I got
your text. I've been up all night.
1230
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:56,000
Yeah, so have I.
1231
01:15:56,040 --> 01:15:57,920
Yeah, sorry.
1232
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,160
So...you all right?
1233
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:05,200
I'm fine.
1234
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,200
You look terrible.
Thanks.
1235
01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:10,160
I mean, really wrung out.
Yes, can you just stop now, please?
1236
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:14,640
So...
1237
01:16:14,680 --> 01:16:16,480
..is this -
1238
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:19,640
The baby. Yes.
1239
01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:23,240
Oh, look. She's gorgeous.
1240
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:25,280
He's gorgeous.
1241
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:30,720
Wow.
1242
01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:32,320
Can I -
1243
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,360
Of course.
1244
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,160
(WHIMPERS)
1245
01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,720
Look, Chloe,
1246
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:49,120
I know you don't
wanna talk about this now,
1247
01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:52,240
but we have to sort this out
once and for all.
1248
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:54,280
Oh, Daniel, please.
1249
01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:57,200
I know you've got rights.
1250
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:00,640
But whoever is the father's
got rights too.
1251
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:04,560
So tell me, please...
1252
01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:09,720
..am I the father or is it Dominic?
1253
01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:12,400
You're never gonna
let this drop, are you?
1254
01:17:12,440 --> 01:17:14,440
How can I?
1255
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,720
You're talking
about a human being here.
1256
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:20,280
Chloe, this is so important to me.
1257
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:23,760
I have to know.
1258
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:27,760
I'm never gonna get any peace, am I?
1259
01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:31,080
All right.
1260
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:33,400
If you really have to know.
1261
01:17:34,720 --> 01:17:36,720
Yes, it's you, Daniel.
1262
01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:41,440
Oh.
1263
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:45,160
Good.
1264
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:54,840
Well...I guess we ought to discuss
how we're gonna make this work.
1265
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:56,880
Sorry? Make what work?
1266
01:17:56,920 --> 01:18:01,280
Well, with you, me and the baby.
1267
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:06,400
Look, I know you wanna do the whole
single mum bit, and that's cool.
1268
01:18:07,480 --> 01:18:09,480
But I am his father.
1269
01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:13,240
I should be here for him,
shouldn't I?
1270
01:18:13,280 --> 01:18:15,280
And for you as well, come to that.
1271
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:20,000
It'll mean giving up France of
course, but...
1272
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:22,560
well, it's the right thing to do.
1273
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,720
You're gonna give up
living in France?
1274
01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:28,800
Well...
1275
01:18:28,840 --> 01:18:30,840
..yes.
1276
01:18:30,880 --> 01:18:32,880
And Juliet?
1277
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:36,000
Yes.
1278
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:39,720
Daniel, that's gonna make you
so unhappy.
1279
01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:43,840
And it's gonna make Juliet unhappy
and it's really not necessary.
1280
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:45,880
But, Chloe -
No, let me finish.
1281
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:51,480
I think that it is sweet that you
would even consider doing that.
1282
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:54,680
But it's not
what any of us really want.
1283
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:58,760
He's gonna get all the love
and support he needs.
1284
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,160
And you can visit him
anytime you like.
1285
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:05,080
You'll be a part of his life
wherever you are.
1286
01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:07,640
And I have to say,
1287
01:19:07,680 --> 01:19:11,800
if he grows up with half
the principles that his father has,
1288
01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:15,280
well I'm gonna be dead proud
of little Timberlake.
1289
01:19:16,440 --> 01:19:18,440
Timberlake?
1290
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:22,040
Well, here we are. Upon the green
there's a sign of a wise old bird.
1291
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:26,000
This is the green, there's the sign
and the owl is a wise old bird.
1292
01:19:26,040 --> 01:19:29,280
Well done, Grace.
You're a wise old bird yourself.
1293
01:19:35,440 --> 01:19:37,440
Good.
1294
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:42,400
You play away from home,
you've only got yourself to blame.
1295
01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,840
What goes around comes around,
matey-boy.
1296
01:19:44,880 --> 01:19:48,320
He who lives by the sword,
dies by the sword.
1297
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,720
As ye reap, so shall ye sow.
1298
01:19:50,760 --> 01:19:53,560
OK, what is this,
the Penguin Book of Quotations?
1299
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:56,240
People like you should
keep it in their trousers.
1300
01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:59,400
And people like you want to learn
to keep their traps shut.
1301
01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:05,440
You all right now, love?
1302
01:20:05,480 --> 01:20:07,480
Yeah, she's fine.
I'm so sorry.
1303
01:20:07,520 --> 01:20:10,960
I shouldn't have gone off like that,
not in front of everybody.
1304
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:14,000
I'm so embarrassed.
There's no need. Is there, Grace?
1305
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:16,040
No.
No.
1306
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,080
He had it coming.
1307
01:20:18,120 --> 01:20:21,200
If Maurice ever did anything like
that to me...
1308
01:20:21,240 --> 01:20:23,120
Well, all right, it's not likely.
1309
01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:26,800
But if he did, I'd give him
the full Lorraine Bobbitt treatment.
1310
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:33,920
(TEXT ALERT)
1311
01:20:33,960 --> 01:20:35,840
Right, that is it.
1312
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:37,880
No, no, it's Da-
1313
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:43,000
I was due for an upgrade anyway.
1314
01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:48,400
Oh, Dave. I thought
it was Rob's ph-
1315
01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:51,680
I'm so sorry.
1316
01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:54,240
I can go and get it.
1317
01:20:54,280 --> 01:20:57,800
Don't worry, I'll get it. I'm
getting used to wading into ponds.
1318
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,680
Don't worry about it, Rob.
It won't work anyway now.
1319
01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:02,960
Let's get cracking.
What's next, Grace?
1320
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:06,840
Right, two more clues
and then, er, lunch.
1321
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:09,640
Whoo! And then
it's off to the seaside.
1322
01:21:09,680 --> 01:21:11,680
You're like a big kid, you are.
1323
01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:15,000
I must say
I'm looking forward to lunch.
1324
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:17,040
Are you, Marcus?
1325
01:21:17,080 --> 01:21:19,080
Which, of course, is on me.
1326
01:21:32,560 --> 01:21:34,760
Hmm. Still no sign
of the Booze Cruisers.
1327
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:36,800
They're going to be last again.
1328
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:04,680
We'd just about
given up on you, Dave.
1329
01:22:04,720 --> 01:22:06,720
Yeah, we got a flat tyre.
1330
01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:10,560
You've missed it, I'm afraid. The
treasure hunt's all but finished.
1331
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:12,640
We've got the prize-giving at three.
1332
01:22:12,680 --> 01:22:16,600
Let's get inside and have a drink.
No. We'll finish this treasure hunt.
1333
01:22:16,640 --> 01:22:20,240
It's a matter of principle now.
I'm with you. We've come this far.
1334
01:22:20,280 --> 01:22:23,520
I'm inclined to agree.
Why not wait in the bar, lasses?
1335
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:25,560
We won't be long.
1336
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:28,640
Last time he said that we got
lost in the woods all night.
1337
01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:34,240
All right then, Dave. Good luck.
You're marker number five.
1338
01:23:23,320 --> 01:23:26,360
He-he. There we are, number five.
1339
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,400
What exactly are we looking for?
1340
01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:33,080
Ahhhh, Marcus, me boy,
Spanish doubloons. Pieces of eight.
1341
01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:36,320
Well, actually it's a Tupperware box
with a big fish in it.
1342
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,360
Who wants to start the digging?
1343
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,840
I will, but not with that.
1344
01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:47,880
Here we are. Whoa-ho-ho!
1345
01:23:50,040 --> 01:23:52,040
Done this before, remember?
1346
01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:55,240
I don't think that's in the spirit
of the competition, Dave.
1347
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,280
ALL: Oh, shut up!
1348
01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:12,880
Do you know what's surprised me most
about this trip?
1349
01:24:12,920 --> 01:24:15,880
Rob?
No, no, that's not a surprise.
1350
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:19,560
No, it's Marcus. I can't believe
the change in the man.
1351
01:24:19,600 --> 01:24:21,640
He's polite, he's courteous.
1352
01:24:21,680 --> 01:24:23,680
He's even stopped leering at me.
1353
01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:25,720
And I'll tell you something else,
1354
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:28,680
he says he's going to give
my Dave a contract, an' all.
1355
01:24:28,720 --> 01:24:32,080
Yeah, I know. It's amazing.
1356
01:24:32,120 --> 01:24:34,840
Don't you think so, Grace?
Amazing.
1357
01:24:37,600 --> 01:24:39,600
Ooh, you know something.
1358
01:24:39,640 --> 01:24:41,640
Do I?
1359
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:43,800
Grace Stringer, what's going on?
1360
01:24:43,840 --> 01:24:49,000
You know last night when he went off
with the tart in the blue dress?
1361
01:24:49,040 --> 01:24:51,560
You know I really can't believe
1362
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:54,440
they would have buried
whatever it is quite so deep.
1363
01:24:54,480 --> 01:24:56,480
We don't know that for sure, Marcus.
1364
01:24:56,520 --> 01:24:59,760
Lawrence wouldn't want the tide
to carry it away, would he?
1365
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:03,600
Are you kidding? At this depth,
a JCB couldn't carry it away.
1366
01:25:03,640 --> 01:25:05,640
Can't we just stop now
and go for a drink?
1367
01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:09,280
Come on, Rob, we're almost there.
Where? Australia?
1368
01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:12,440
Have a look at that.
1369
01:25:15,040 --> 01:25:17,040
Am I holding this the right way up?
1370
01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:20,520
Yes. I can't tell
where he begins and she ends.
1371
01:25:20,560 --> 01:25:23,800
Eugh. Eugh, the mucky bugger.
1372
01:25:23,840 --> 01:25:28,480
Oh, he should be ashamed of himself.
He should but I'm sure he's not.
1373
01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:31,160
You wouldn't really show his wife,
would you?
1374
01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:34,920
I might. Especially if Dave's
contract doesn't come through.
1375
01:25:34,960 --> 01:25:36,960
But that's blackmail.
I know.
1376
01:25:38,160 --> 01:25:40,960
God, you are a devious woman, Grace.
1377
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,800
I do my best.
1378
01:25:47,040 --> 01:25:50,240
Can I just ask how much longer you
intend to be?
1379
01:25:50,280 --> 01:25:52,280
A while yet, why?
1380
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,720
Well, I hate to be
the harbinger of bad news -
1381
01:25:54,760 --> 01:25:58,520
Then don't be. Keep it to yourself.
That's not entirely possible.
1382
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:00,760
All right, Marcus,
what's the bad news?
1383
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:04,160
Oh! Bloody hell!
The tide's coming in!
1384
01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:07,200
The tide's coming in!
The tide's coming in!
1385
01:26:07,240 --> 01:26:09,600
Yes, we can see that King Canute,
we know.
1386
01:26:10,960 --> 01:26:13,960
Hey, help us out. I'm drowning here.
1387
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:16,000
Oh, come on then, you old git.
1388
01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:18,960
Right, let's get the car started.
1389
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:24,880
I'm sorry that we couldn't wait
any longer for the Booze Cruisers.
1390
01:26:24,920 --> 01:26:29,160
But it doesn't really matter
because they finished last anyway.
1391
01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:31,200
Now, this is the best bit...
1392
01:26:31,240 --> 01:26:33,240
Where the hell are they?
1393
01:26:33,280 --> 01:26:35,280
I'll give Dave a call on his mobile.
1394
01:26:35,320 --> 01:26:37,320
Oh, no, I can't.
1395
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:40,240
Erm, I'll call Rob.
1396
01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:44,440
..and secateurs. Could I have
the captain of the Bromley Boys.
1397
01:26:44,480 --> 01:26:48,480
No, it's a bit tricky at the moment,
Cath, can't really talk.
1398
01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:52,400
No, we're expecting
a Sea King helicopter any minute.
1399
01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:55,880
Yeah. Yeah, Lord Tosspot here
1400
01:26:55,920 --> 01:26:58,640
backed the car straight
into the hole we dug on the beach.
1401
01:26:58,680 --> 01:27:00,680
That really wasn't my fault.
1402
01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:03,800
I haven't driven a car
in nearly 30 years.
1403
01:27:03,840 --> 01:27:05,720
Leave him alone. It's not his fault.
1404
01:27:05,760 --> 01:27:09,640
I do hope they winch you two
up together so you can carry
on kissing his arse.
1405
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:13,680
Do you have to be so vulgar?
Oh, wind your neck in, you tosser.
1406
01:27:13,720 --> 01:27:17,920
Tosser? I knew it was you who wrote
on the back of my camper van.
1407
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:20,560
Don't bloody start.
I should've left you in the hole.
1408
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:22,600
Calm down, will you?
1409
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:37,720
# We're all going on
a summer holiday
1410
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:41,040
# No more work for - come on -
a week or two
1411
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,080
# Fun and laughter ohhhhhhhh! #
1412
01:28:13,640 --> 01:28:17,280
What a weekend, eh?
We've had some adventures.
1413
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:21,400
Eh? Well, I've enjoyed it.
1414
01:28:21,440 --> 01:28:23,960
Does the sun shine
on the planet you come from?
1415
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:26,440
It's been a nightmare
from beginning to end.
1416
01:28:26,480 --> 01:28:29,680
I must admit from a perverse point
of view that I have enjoyed it too.
1417
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:31,720
There you are, you see?
1418
01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:35,360
Normally you're the sort of people
I would cross the road to avoid
1419
01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:38,920
but actually, you've all been
rather entertaining.
1420
01:28:38,960 --> 01:28:40,960
(CAR HORN SOUNDS)
1421
01:28:41,000 --> 01:28:43,000
Ah. Here comes my man now.
1422
01:28:43,040 --> 01:28:45,040
So I'll say good night.
1423
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:47,640
And we'll talk next week
about the contract.
1424
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,320
Contract?
(CLEARS THROAT)
1425
01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:53,160
Ahhhh, yes.
1426
01:28:53,200 --> 01:28:56,000
Ha-ha, the contract.
1427
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:58,960
Next week. Anyway, good night.
1428
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:01,000
Good night, Marcus.
1429
01:29:02,400 --> 01:29:05,480
We'll be off too.
Thank you.
1430
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:07,520
Good night.
Night, you two.
1431
01:29:09,440 --> 01:29:11,760
Don't think
I've forgotten about my lawn.
1432
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:13,800
Yeah, yeah.
1433
01:29:13,840 --> 01:29:15,840
Good night.
See you.
1434
01:29:15,880 --> 01:29:19,520
Night, Rob. Behave yourself.
See you, Roberto.
1435
01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:21,560
Night.
Come here.
1436
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:27,240
I was just saying, it'll take months
for that lawn to grow out.
1437
01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:29,280
Give it a rest, Maurice, please!
1438
01:29:29,920 --> 01:29:31,920
Oh, no.
1439
01:29:31,960 --> 01:29:34,360
She's back.
1440
01:29:34,400 --> 01:29:37,920
You'd think she could stay
in Watford for a week or two.
1441
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:39,960
Oh, shut up.
1442
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:43,600
ELSIE: They're on again.
I know they're on again!
1443
01:29:55,120 --> 01:29:57,120
(TEXT ALERT)
1444
01:30:03,480 --> 01:30:05,480
No!
1445
01:30:05,520 --> 01:30:07,520
Leonie, you don't understand.
1446
01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:09,560
(DOOR LOCKS)
1447
01:30:13,440 --> 01:30:15,440
See you.
1448
01:30:20,240 --> 01:30:23,000
Ah well, it all worked out well
in the end.
1449
01:30:23,040 --> 01:30:25,040
Except we came last again.
1450
01:30:25,080 --> 01:30:27,120
Who cares? There's always next year.
1451
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:30,600
Doesn't matter cos I've got
a special prize for you anyway.
1452
01:30:30,640 --> 01:30:32,640
Special prize?
1453
01:30:32,680 --> 01:30:34,680
Yes, big fella.
1454
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:40,560
I have got something for you
that I know you're going to love.
1455
01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:42,600
Yeah?
1456
01:30:42,640 --> 01:30:45,480
How does steak and kidney pie,
chips and peas sound?
1457
01:30:45,520 --> 01:30:47,520
Oooh! Come here, you.
1458
01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:19,640
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