1
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:14,079
Good evening. I'm crouching
as we're following a gang of men

2
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,111
who broke into that building.

3
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,991
One of them's a recidivist.

4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:22,192
These men have been specially
trained. Look at that training!

5
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:25,915
(Policeman) On the floor!
(Chris) Crime is confusing.

6
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,871
I've got him, he's over here.

7
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,717
His name is Ritchie Blawse.

8
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,911
Look at the front of his head,
you've seen it before.

9
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,270
He was on this programme saying,
"I'm giving up crime."

10
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,471
Why have you gone back to crime?
He doesn't know.

11
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,069
Tonight on Brass Eye,
why has he gone back to crime?

12
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,149
"UK" used to mean United Kingdom

13
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,749
but ask anyone today
and they'll tell you it stands for

14
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,791
Unbelievable Crimewave.

15
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,917
No one is safe.

16
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,236
By the end of tomorrow,
one or all of these people

17
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,751
may have been set on fire, bum-raped
or burgled senseless by criminals.

18
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,278
This month, police pictures showed
another estate in Manchester

19
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,311
turning itself into a gun.

20
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,750
It's not just the great unhosed.

21
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,918
These raiders all earn over
£200,000 a year in big banks.

22
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,391
So much for recorded crimes

23
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:57,228
but crimes we know nothing about
are going up as well.

24
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,590
What hope do we have
of battering these down?

25
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,117
The Home Secretary
scores repeated own goals.

26
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,958
Over 1,200 convicts
were released last month

27
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:14,039
after lying to the Home Office
about how long they'd been inside.

28
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,832
And just two days ago,

29
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,792
it was revealed that convicts
in Dartmoor Prison

30
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,799
had been running an international
airport for over 14 years.

31
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,479
I am not an expert
on air traffic control.

32
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,149
I thought they were landing nearby
but not in my prison.

33
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,511
So what causes crime?

34
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,916
Social deprivation?
This bleak report from Ted Maul.

35
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,836
From the moon,
Cowsick's a little dot.

36
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,474
From the ground, it's a huge mess,

37
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,637
Iike Dante meets Bosch
in a crack lounge.

38
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,070
I'm here to ask a question -
is alarm justified?

39
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:54,352
Is time running out for Cowsick
or is this the start of a new day?

40
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,675
The first day of spring.

41
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:03,589
Cowsick. The stench of poverty hangs
in the air like an old man's nappy.

42
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,598
For the kids,
it's a depravity supermarket,

43
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,315
where bad is free
and society foots the bill.

44
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:14,353
Not many cars to nick here,
so they hijack pedestrians

45
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,597
and run them around
at terrifying leg speeds.

46
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,631
It's called "git surfing".

47
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,956
All too often, the "git"
is one of their own mothers.

48
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,151
The latest trick -
catapult them into a shop...

49
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,273
and force them
to steal booze, fags and mags.

50
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,912
(Police chatter)

51
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,155
For the cops, it's a jungle...

52
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,237
where dangerous animals
speak Swear-hili.

53
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,350
Sounds like we got a burst shop.

54
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,358
Kids burst shops
by filling them with rice

55
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,029
and pouring in water,
then standing back and laughing

56
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,755
while the bricks are ripped
apart by the swelling food.

57
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,634
They say a bored mind
makes a great office for the devil.

58
00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:00,913
In Kerry Hufford's case, it's fully
air-conditioned with free typing.

59
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,873
He's been arrested
for menacing a helpless codger.

60
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,879
Jill and Sainsbur McManus
are a rattly pair of old puffins

61
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,993
who remember Cowsick
when people could still be trusted.

62
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,237
Everybody had keys
to everybody else's house

63
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:21,513
and the locks were sort of made
of something like paper.

64
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,917
On September the 15th,
the McManuses went to bed,

65
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,509
unaware they were being watched
by the Hufford gang.

66
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,797
Moments later,
three kids had broken in.

67
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,354
Kerry was dressed as an angel.

68
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:40,313
He woke the old man up
and told him he was dead

69
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,999
and must go outside
and bury himself.

70
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,792
He ran out the room,

71
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,832
Kerry and me were rolling
on the floor in hysterics

72
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,953
and he was pulling all the grass out,
and chucking it everywhere

73
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,639
and we were just laughing at him.

74
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,877
Sainsbur would definitely be
Costa del Blowfly

75
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,309
if the cops hadn't seen him
by chance

76
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,796
while they were tracking a man
who'd buggered a heron.

77
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,549
Maybe we can understand kids like
Kerry by looking at his family.

78
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,036
Dad, unemployed.
Mum, depressed beyond tablets.

79
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,073
You want to help them
but they've got to help themselves.

80
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:19,750
Do you agree with this question - if
you don't get a job, he gets stuffed?

81
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,632
I'm trying to get a job.
It's not like I'm not trying.

82
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,399
- You must try harder.
- I'm trying.

83
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,396
- But really hard.
- I am.

84
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,115
Couldn't you just go round
somebody's house and clean up?

85
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,957
Clean up somebody's house?

86
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,912
- Then ask for money for it.
- I could do that.

87
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,712
Why not do that tomorrow?

88
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,514
- All right. It's a bit demea...
- Good. Thanks for talking to us.

89
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,314
Cowsick people are the smashed toes
of a lame duck society.

90
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,990
A lame duck that's attacking
its own feet with a sledgehammer.

91
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,918
Will the nightmare ever end
for Cowsick?

92
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,918
Perhaps with outside help. Oh, yeah?

93
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,111
In 1993,
the council gave them a football.

94
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,435
Good...but not enough.

95
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,393
In '95,
Paul McCartney donated 100 top hats.

96
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,277
Fat use.

97
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,915
And last year,
the mayor gave them a gold mine.

98
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,476
It actually worked for a bit until
someone clogged it up with sick.

99
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,399
Sick's a met-aphor for the way
these people lead their lives

100
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:28,434
and it'll stay that way until
someone lets in the wind of change.

101
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,595
And as a result of that experience,

102
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,713
Ted Maul has been absent
for some time with nervous exhaust.

103
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:56,315
Do you feel that vigilantism
is gonna help in the long run?

104
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,909
I think it will arise in an area
where something has gone wrong.

105
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,518
In Gotham City in the States

106
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,792
they call a specialist vigilante
agent when they're in real trouble

107
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:10,118
by projecting a huge, luminous
emergency bat sign into the sky

108
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,438
and he comes rushing in
and so far, that has...worked.

109
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,392
Is that something
that should be encouraged?

110
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,796
- I'd have to see it.
- Well, it looks good.

111
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,274
It'd have to be a very, er...

112
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,437
Individual with great magnetism.

113
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,631
I think that's what it is.
It's his special sign.

114
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,035
They're one-offs and it's very nice.

115
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:36,631
In school-mastering we have people
who could do it in a unique way

116
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,717
but don't try and get
other people doing it.

117
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,275
But when Bruce Wayne goes,
it's all gonna collapse.

118
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,915
Yeah. Yeah, but it's happened
throughout history.

119
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,199
Is crime gonna get any worse?

120
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,038
Yes, it is. Just look at America.

121
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,311
Alabaster Codify
reports on their latest mess.

122
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,278
Fadanoid with Chuck Fadanoid.

123
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,869
(Codify) 'Top talk topic
Stateside right now.

124
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,674
The priests who say they must
pack a piece to keep the peace.

125
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:14,396
Last week I had a...
Well 200 or 300 in the congregation.

126
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,635
I got up and I said,

127
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,353
"Anybody here who's got a gun
can leave now."

128
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:25,152
Ten minutes later, three people
had left - two kids and a deaf guy.

129
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,715
The padre-noia really took off
after Minister Vocas Wabe

130
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,797
was shot at a baptism
for forgetting the baby's name.

131
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,273
Fuckin' asshole!

132
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,677
More and more, the holy flock
is becoming a gory gun-gregation.

133
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,711
Practising four times a week,

134
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,399
Father Coopex,
a fully-fledged Revolverend.

135
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,590
Liked your style there.

136
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,235
I use the one-handed grip,
it gives you a smaller profile

137
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,795
if there's answering fire,
like from the congregation.

138
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,913
In Coopex' church, a would-be
shootist doesn't have a prayer.

139
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,520
This is a defensive measure
which is bulletproof,

140
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:02,439
and a hole has been cut
so I can return fire.

141
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:07,031
That was the pimp that took
my crucifix and put it on his car.

142
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,878
The holy gun-spel
according to St Marksman.

143
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,512
I got him that time.

144
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,553
There's even ad campaigns
to recruit more pistol apostles.

145
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,508
- (TV) 'No room at the inn?
- (Gunfire)

146
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,313
- 'There is now.
- (Gunfire)

147
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,874
Judas, you plan to betray me.

148
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,753
(Gunfire and manic laughter)

149
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,076
Despite the increasing
violence against priests,

150
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,078
many say they are too revved up
to handle guns.

151
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,556
At this wedding, Minister Pat Rizzo
shot a guest in the leg.

152
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,434
The issue peaked on TV
on a rat-a-tat-tat show showdown

153
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,711
featuring Coopex
and the two prota-gunnists.

154
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,399
- You were shot by a minister?
- Right.

155
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,079
You were shot
by this minister with a gun?

156
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,351
This is Pat Rizzo,
the man who shot at the wedding.

157
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,198
You haven't seen him
since he shot you. React.

158
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,549
What the hell were you doing?

159
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,114
You moved funny, I had to shoot.

160
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,957
What?! I was at a wedding.

161
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,831
You looked like a criminal!

162
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,190
Look at those hairy arms,
you could be a man in a dress.

163
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,073
- You! I'm gonna get you.
- (Pat) Don't...

164
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,953
(Man) Freeze.
(Fadanoid) Put the gun down.

165
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,470
Someone could get shot here.
Pouch that piece, Padre.

166
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,273
- Stay where you are.
- Pouch that piece!

167
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,438
Two priests left the show in a tank,
shooting as they went.

168
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,438
As the ammu-missionaries
get trigger-holy,

169
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,436
Sunday turns to gun-day

170
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,074
and America awaits
the Blast Judgment.

171
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,112
This is Alabaster Codify,
for 10NN and Brass Eye.

172
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,958
Sadly,
crime experts predict that one day,

173
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,436
even friendly conversation
between mother and daughter

174
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,550
will be conducted at gunpoint.

175
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,515
Up next,
a new scheme for young offenders.

176
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,109
Take the Cashback scheme
that they're gonna try in Toxteth,

177
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,835
where young offenders
are on a 14-week sentence.

178
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,189
It costs two grand a week
to keep them,

179
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,437
so rather than spend 28 grand
to keep them inside,

180
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,278
they give them 25 grand and say,
"Here you are,

181
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,550
"use that for a positive reason."

182
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,991
I think that's a smashing idea.
Yeah, I do, honestly.

183
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,793
If they had done that to you,
what would have happened?

184
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,752
I don't think you'd have
ever heard of me again.

185
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:21,078
Would enlisting somebody like Richard
Branson to sell the Cashback scheme

186
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,111
might just work?

187
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,912
I wouldn't say no to that.

188
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,316
I suppose if there was
an element of stick,

189
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,831
Richard Branson up in a balloon
watching this situation saying,

190
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,190
"There's your £26,000
but I'm watching you from a balloon

191
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,198
"and I can see a very long way."

192
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,231
I'd go along with that.

193
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,239
Now chafing the transmission heads,

194
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,716
what is the relationship
between crime and race?

195
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,116
Using make-up sticks,
we transformed our white reporter,

196
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,310
Trass Dupress, into a black man

197
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,193
to see if the law
would treat him any differently.

198
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,994
Within five minutes,
he'd committed a pocket theft.

199
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:35,068
By mid-afternoon, he was attacking
passers-by with violent muggings

200
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,635
and fleecing them viciously
on the cobbles.

201
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,948
There's the evidence.
Mr Koka, what do you make of that?

202
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,357
Now I've seen the proof, I apologise
for my fellow blacks, I'm sorry.

203
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,391
Thank you very much.

204
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,629
What's the solution to rising crime,

205
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,955
particularly younger and younger?

206
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,879
For many, the answer to the problem
can be summed up in just one word.

207
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,717
Bring back borstal.

208
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,391
But did they work?

209
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:13,991
Good question because borstals
were phased out in 1982.

210
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,837
Ted Maul reports.

211
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,996
Borstals like Fork Hurst
are to be axed

212
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,157
as they're full of men
who should have been released.

213
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,796
(Ted) 'Jock Bosonet was sent here
as a juvenile offender in 1949.

214
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,389
He never left because
he kept failing release tests.

215
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,069
Like hundreds of others,
he remained in chokey,

216
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,271
even though the offences
were small and twatty.

217
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:41,189
When I was seven, I got dressed up
as a little city gent...

218
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,074
and walked into the Bank of England
shouting for a pound.

219
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,509
While the situation is grave enough

220
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,518
to merit a black-and-white
freeze-frame,

221
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,596
the solution may be at hand

222
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,950
with the opening of Harsh Pounds
for young offenders.

223
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,070
Libby Shuss reports.

224
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,999
Leobald Quay,
opened six months ago right here,

225
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:07,033
 and already is favoured
by both main political parties.

226
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,878
And the third party,
who are with Ashdown.

227
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,071
I'm going inside now, like a bad boy.

228
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,674
The new inmates
are welcomed on arrival...

229
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,233
You shits! Up that hill!

230
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,477
..and are sent straight
to the shaving room.

231
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,193
Here,
their eyebrows are shaved off,

232
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,835
which undermines
their self-respect rather well.

233
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:33,954
(Man) If you think of a fly and you
pull its wings off, it'll crawl.

234
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,560
But if you push
the back half of its body

235
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,479
onto the surface
it's squiggling on...

236
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,399
then you've got its total,
undivided attention.

237
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:49,309
In the Gulf War, Jackson was
Allied advisor on psycho battery.

238
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,876
At Leobald, his expertise
is applied without mercy.

239
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,037
The inmates' sleep
is frequently interrupted.

240
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,674
(Screams)

241
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,712
Room inspections
are full of sneaky traps,

242
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,389
like the brass moustache
hidden behind a notice board.

243
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,237
Why didn't you polish it?

244
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,669
- How funny is it?
- Not, sir.

245
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,599
Bury the beds.
Mattresses, pillows, sheets, bury!

246
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,996
The men will dig up
their bedclothes this evening

247
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,110
and sleep in them, all earthy.

248
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,675
If they'd done better,
they might have won a privilege.

249
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,759
Despite his criminal mind,
this man is behaving well.

250
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,597
His reward is the canoe.

251
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:33,474
This time he can sit in the canoe
for up to an hour.

252
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,556
Meanwhile, the troublemaker

253
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,797
is made to sprint blindfold
to Jackson's office,

254
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,229
where he receives a speaking down.

255
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,068
That is my shiny shoe and you
are a big piece of shit on it.

256
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,396
- Sir.
- Lick yourself off my shoe.

257
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,670
Lick yourself off my shoe.

258
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,439
Lick the shit off his shoe!

259
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:59,600
Don't actually do it!
Where's your self-re-cocking-spect?

260
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,108
- I don't know, sir.
- Get out! Now!

261
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,515
- Sir.
- Look at me. Get out.

262
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,553
(Jackson) If you take a seal
and hit it very hard in the face

263
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,989
every day for six weeks,

264
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:15,272
you may turn it
into a rather fetching hat.

265
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,390
And the future for these fuckers?

266
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,273
Will they succeed in returning
to society?

267
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:24,029
So, you're nearing the end
of your training, your regime,

268
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,594
and looking forward
to joining society.

269
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,995
How do you feel about that?

270
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,669
- I haven't got skills.
- Skills? For what?

271
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,711
Getting back into society.

272
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:39,390
- You could have a family and...
- I could have, I don't know.

273
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,955
- (Laughter)
- Now, if...you made the effort,

274
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,468
became a part of a family,

275
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,274
then you could root yourself
into the fabric of society.

276
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,198
- I'll root you into fuckin' society!
- (Laughter)

277
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,596
There is a serious question.
I am from society...

278
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,915
We know.

279
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,430
You're not from society,
how do you get back into society?

280
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,835
- Up your arse.
- (Laughter)

281
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,388
There are no simple answers
to the problem of punishment

282
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,238
but there is a simple question.

283
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,431
Would it really matter
if one of these men died?

284
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,471
Perhaps the most positive step

285
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,671
has come from the Home Office
action group, Key 2000,

286
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,314
who produced a video
to play to young offenders

287
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,351
on their arrival in prison.

288
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,311
Well, they got you, then.

289
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:49,150
They gone and banged you up
good and proper. So, what now?

290
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,637
What I'd like to do right now
is take your bad half outside

291
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,752
and do it an extremely
physical discourtesy

292
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:02,238
and then buy your good half a pint
of foaming, nut-brown ale.

293
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,872
Cheers.

294
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,192
Meet Geoff Boycott

295
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,630
and shake hands with a walking
continent of common sense.

296
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,989
I didn't get runs by slacking.

297
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,350
I worked hard, I grafted,
I practised,

298
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,153
I did it as well as I could,
properly.

299
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,431
So when you get up
in the morning, what do you do?

300
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,471
You get out of bed properly,

301
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,638
and that means all the way out of it,
get right out of the bed.

302
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,559
No half measures. You must get
your whole body out of the bed,

303
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,636
right out from under the sheets,

304
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,797
right off the mattress
until you're standing up.

305
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,469
You won't get anywhere
slouching about half out of bed.

306
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,717
Do you seriously think
the people here wouldn't notice

307
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,274
if you were only half out of the bed?

308
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,276
Come on, wise up.

309
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,359
Did I walk out to bat when I was
half asleep or half out of bed?

310
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,868
Of course not. I bloody well didn't.

311
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,151
Remember, the best technique
is to look at that bed

312
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,636
and then try and get
as far away from it as possible.

313
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,834
Gary Glitter said, "Good to be back,"

314
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,872
but in your case,
that does not apply.

315
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,480
I can't believe it, you little ponce.

316
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,080
You've gone and done it again,
ain'cha?

317
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,793
Did you really like it
so much last time?

318
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,992
What? You didn't?
Then why the hell did you come back?

319
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:31,272
All right, easy now. No foaming
nut-brown ale for you this time

320
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,552
but here, for God's sake,
listen to this and do us a favour,

321
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,512
pay attention this time.

322
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:43,475
I've been asked to read the words
of a successful reformed criminal,

323
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,637
someone who got a grip,
and this is what he says -

324
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,468
"Remember that your life in prison
is like a dog in a box.

325
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,479
"What you've got to do is make
the dog bigger than the box.

326
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,638
"Not in a bad way,
like a mad wolf in a matchbox,

327
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,557
"but more like a giant,

328
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,036
"a well-behaved Alsatian
in a Kleenex box.

329
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,675
"Your aim is to place that dog
in the lap of the governor -

330
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,633
"that's the evil part of you -
with a smile, as you leave."

331
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,471
You are a murderer
and I can only pray to God

332
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,035
that you watch and you listen
very carefully to this.

333
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,117
Hello. You think you
don't know me, don't you?

334
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,391
Yes, but you do because
I'm the shopkeeper you shot

335
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,396
in a mindless hold-up.

336
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,954
You blew out my guts, remember?

337
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,595
I'm the old lady whose head
you stove in with a wardrobe

338
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,074
in the middle of the night, remember?

339
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,953
I'm the boy whose face
you stabbed off in panic

340
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,958
when I found you
robbing my house, remember?

341
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,072
I'm Marvin Gaye,
shot by my own father.

342
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,475
Oh, yes, you know me all right.

343
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:57,230
Look at my eyes, murderer,
you killed me.

344
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,352
What the hell did you do that for?

345
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,391
Look at me! Feel proud, do you?

346
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,874
Do you even know what a feeling is?

347
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,913
I do but I can't have any more now
because of you. You!

348
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:14,159
You get out after 25 years but me,
I'm here forever.

349
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,430
I hate you.

350
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,829
While you're inside,
you'll have to learn a new language.

351
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,030
It's not French, it's prison slang.

352
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,913
I've got some of it here
so it might help you.

353
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,270
"Howard's arse" means prison.

354
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,756
"One-nil at half-time" means food.

355
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,872
"Woggy coconuts" means air bricks.

356
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:45,994
"Gazza" is a Gascoigne
used as currency for cigarettes.

357
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,555
"Plank sanction" -
a one-for-one fag exchange.

358
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,991
"Sue my chin" - give us a fag,
I'll give you two next week.

359
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,430
"Buff my pylon" - give us a fag,
you owe me two

360
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,869
so I'm letting you off the other one.

361
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,435
"Don't buff my pylon" -
switch over the telly.

362
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,948
And, er, very important this one,

363
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,754
"Portillo" means look out behind you.

364
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,837
Learn the language,
better communication.

365
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,599
That's one way of dealing
with offenders,

366
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,915
but what about the bigger picture?

367
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,110
- Thanks to the news dwarf.
- Pleasure.

368
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:24,233
The hope is we'll benefit from
a number of European projects.

369
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,953
Research shows that football riots
can be halted instantly

370
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,515
by showing pornography
on the video displays.

371
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,917
For street disturbances,
the police are breeding elephants,

372
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:43,909
following their successful
deployment in Athens and Turin.

373
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,112
In Holland, they've halved
the crime rate by legalising murder,

374
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,116
introducing slaughter cafes.

375
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,994
We used to come here with knives
and slash them in the guts

376
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,192
but we got bored after that,
after about two weeks,

377
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,755
I just eat my cake now and wash
it down with a cup of coff.

378
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,076
This French system of victim support
comes to Britain soon.

379
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:09,750
Last month, that woman found a young
offender defecating on her floor.

380
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:14,590
Under police supervision,
she meets the offender at his house.

381
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:21,400
And is given an hour to formalise
a similar return on his floor.

382
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,078
Good night.

383
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,673
I'm violently against hanging.

384
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,235
I believe no human's
got the right to take another's life.

385
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,953
So, you shouldn't be allowed
to take someone's life?

386
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,513
No, what I'm saying is...

387
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,552
The penalty for taking a life
should be the death penalty?

388
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:49,196
No, I personally am totally opposed
to the death penalty.

389
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,392
- But it's OK to take a life?
- No, only in self-defence.

390
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,796
If you murder somebody,
you've taken away their life,

391
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,674
and in that circumstance only,
that person should be killed.

392
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,188
No. I believe under no circumstances

393
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,835
does one human being have the right
to take another's life.

394
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,792
- No way, surely.
- That's my opinion.

395
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,877
I'm not saying it's...
Everything's about opinions.

396
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,549
Is it? Yes, it is. What about
capital punishment for murder?

397
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,478
No, I personally believe
on moral grounds

398
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,478
that no human being
can take another's life.

399
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,149
Or if you didn't take their life,
just murdered them?

400
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,792
Say that again.

401
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:33,038
If you didn't take somebody's life,
you just murdered them...