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Previously on Californication...

2
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- My name is Hank.
- I know. Mia.

3
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This is Mia, Bill's daughter,
and this is Hank.

4
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- You two know each other?
- No.

5
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- She's 16.
- 16, wow.

6
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It's not a memoir.

7
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It's a written account of
my sexual relationship with you.

8
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Written by me as a fucking novel.

9
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Even I'm confused,
and I stole the damn thing.

10
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Didn't you get the memo?

11
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I'm taking Fucking & Punching
all over this fair country of ours.

12
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Coming soon to a super-sized
bookstore near you.

13
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They came - the divorce papers.

14
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I have said all along - I still love you.

15
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Fuck your pussy.

16
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Ow! Oh, my back!

17
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You OK?

18
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- OK.
- What the fuck is this?

19
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- Fucking retarded.
- Ow.

20
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Retarded and sweet.
Just like you, Runkle.

21
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I can't believe
you slept with all of them.

22
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(Groans) Yes, I suppose I did.

23
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So, what, you're saying we just
pack up and leave LA?

24
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The three of us
move back to New York together?

25
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Yeah, end of the semester,
whatever.

26
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(♪ GG Allin: Carmelita)

27
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♪ And I'm there with you in Ensenada

28
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♪ And I'm here in Echo Park

29
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♪ Carmelita... ♪

30
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What is it about New York, Hank?

31
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What do you think
you're gonna find there?

32
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Happiness.

33
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I'll be happy...

34
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finally.

35
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- Are you sure?
- Yes, of course I'm sure.

36
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It's what I want.

37
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I love you.

38
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Wherever you go,
there you are.

39
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Oh, well, that is true,
honey, but...

40
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Why do you drink so much?

41
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Are you punishing yourself?

42
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Do you feel guilty
about something?

43
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I miss fucking you.

44
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Mmm, I miss it too,
but I just can't do that any more.

45
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I don't care any more, Hank.

46
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Our best days are behind us now.

47
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You're just chasing the dragon.

48
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We're never gonna live
happily ever after.

49
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You're gonna die poor,
drunk, and alone.

50
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I was available, Hank.

51
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Why didn't you love me back?

52
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Well, because I love her.

53
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You're my role model, you know,

54
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for men, for relationships.

55
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What hope could I possibly have?

56
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(Singing along with music)
♪ I think I'm sinking down

57
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♪ And I'm all strung out on heroin

58
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♪ On the outskirts of town ♪

59
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(Groaning)

60
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Whew.

61
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Oh! Ah!

62
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- Are you OK?
- Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.

63
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What up, ladies?

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- Your daughter has a question for you.
- All right.

65
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Ask away, shortness.

66
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What's that place, again,
with the really good bagels?

67
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Oh, how soon they forget.

68
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Murray's, the answer is Murray's.

69
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Murray's. That's right.

70
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What about that other place,
on the West Side,

71
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we go for breakfast sometimes?

72
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- Barney something.
- Yeah, Greengrass, Barney Greengrass,

73
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where you may very well
have been conceived, young lady.

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- Really?
- Yeah.

75
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Actually, no,
it was the bathroom at CBGB's.

76
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Jesus Christ, boundaries, people.

77
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Yeah, well, we went to the bathroom
at Greengrass the next day, if you recall.

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And who's to say which
batch of seed took root, woman?

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- This is true.
- And there goes my appetite.

80
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We should maybe go pay a visit there,
to that shrine

81
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to your vagine... a.

82
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One of these days I'm going to start
talking openly about sex,

83
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and you're not gonna like it.

84
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Can you pass the orange juice?

85
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Of course.

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- (Mumbling)
- Stop!

87
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Come on!

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(Charlie) This is fun. I'm gonna miss this.
I'm gonna miss you, man.

89
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I'm gonna miss you too, vanilla sweetness.

90
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No, I mean, I'm really
gonna miss you.

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You are my best friend, Hank.

92
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Why don't you just come
to New York with us?

93
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- Really?
- Yeah.

94
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You can be our houseboy, homeboy.

95
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That would be fun, actually, yeah.

96
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I could make you guys breakfast.

97
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I could help Becca get dressed
and ready for school.

98
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She's not a toddler, you fucktard.

99
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Oh, I don't know.
I don't have any kids.

100
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- Yet.
- What do you mean, yet?

101
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- You've had, like, five vasectomies.
- Two, buddy boy, two.

102
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And, you know, I think maybe
it might be time for a reversal.

103
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I think I might like
to make a baby with Marcy.

104
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Interesting.
Has Marcy shown any inclination

105
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that she might want
to make a baby with you?

106
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I have reason to believe she might be
open to such a thing. Yes, I do.

107
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Would that be before or after
the divorce papers come through?

108
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No, you don't know, Hank. We've been
getting along like gangbusters lately.

109
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Really, I would say,
if I was a betting man,

110
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that these two crazy kids
are gonna work it out.

111
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Yes, we are back.
Up high. Give me five.

112
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Way up, in the air.

113
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- Up hi...
- Too high for me.

114
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Yeah, OK.

115
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Honey, I'm home.

116
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Hey, look what the cat dragged in.

117
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Hi, Hank.

118
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Wow, it's my favourite
female novelist.

119
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Doesn't she look beautiful?

120
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Yes, she does. Look at you,
all footloose and fancy-free and grown up.

121
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Yeah, I'm glad I caught you guys
before you took off for New York.

122
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So, uh, what brings you
to these fair parts?

123
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The paperback is coming out,

124
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and we're doing a little
signing-reading in Venice.

125
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- I want you guys to come.
- Oh, God, would that we could,

126
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but we have too much with the packing.
It's overwhelming, really,

127
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and we got to set our affairs
in order, so to speak.

128
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No, I... That's all taken care of.

129
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I said yes already,

130
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- that we'd go.
- Of course you did.

131
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- (Chuckles)
- Well, and also, Mia wants to...

132
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introduce us to someone.

133
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Oh, a parole officer, perhaps?

134
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A boyfriend, and it's serious, right?

135
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Yeah, well, he is pretty great.

136
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Is it love?

137
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Well, what does she know of love?

138
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She's far too young
to speak on such matters.

139
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Too young?
Hank, didn't you get the memo?

140
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I'm totally legal now.

141
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Good to know.
Man, this is gonna be just...

142
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- way too much fun.
- Right?

143
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Are you sure you don't want me
to stay home and watch Becca? Because...

144
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- I don't deserve to have this much fun.
- (Phone)

145
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You know what? That's probably
Becca right now. We're coming.

146
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Hello?

147
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Hey, sweetie, guess...

148
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Well, much as I'd love
to stay and watch you squirm,

149
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I got to get moving.

150
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But I'll see you tonight, right?
I'm looking forward to it.

151
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,938
So am I, so much so. OK.

152
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And just so you know, after all this time,
you still make me a little wet.

153
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Toodle-oo!

154
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I'm shuttering the agency.

155
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What? Why?

156
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(Chuckles)

157
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Yeah, it's time this old broad
hung up her dancing shoes,

158
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time I kicked back,

159
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:46,715
relaxed, spent a little
quality time with my Dickie.

160
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So many positions
left to explore.

161
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And I have to work on this.

162
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What am be dat?

163
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My memoir.

164
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Wow.

165
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I would love to read it sometime.

166
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Oh, I want you to read it.

167
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,989
And then I want you to sell it.

168
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That's right, Runkle.
I want you to be my agent.

169
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,828
What are you talking about, Sue?
You fired me.

170
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,788
Look, Runkle,
whether you know it or not,

171
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,999
you're a maverick, a renegade.

172
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You beat off to the march
of your own drummer.

173
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That's the kind of agent I want.

174
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:30,008
That's the kind of agent
I've always tried to be.

175
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,718
(Chuckles)

176
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,513
And in the meantime,

177
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you can take me.

178
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:37,849
(Sighs)

179
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,352
Oh, OK, I see where this is going.

180
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You're dangling your memoirs -

181
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which I know I can sell
the shit out of, by the way -

182
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,943
as an excuse to continue
our torrid little affair.

183
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,903
(Groaning)

184
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:54,074
I don't see why the two
cannot peacefully coexist.

185
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,368
Because I love my wife, Sue.

186
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,328
We're on a serious upswing now.

187
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,373
And I am sick and tired of your
constant sexual harassment.

188
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:06,670
You say harassment. I say a couple
of big, juicy orgasms between friends.

189
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,713
All right, we'll have it your way -

190
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completely professional.

191
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- Thank you, Sue.
- Utterly boring.

192
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:17,013
Aw...

193
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,682
(Sighs) Collini...

194
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,768
wet.

195
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,901
Love the writing -

196
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,320
so visceral and real.

197
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,489
Who are some of your influences?

198
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,200
Oh, God, uh, there are so many.

199
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,703
Um, but if I had to narrow it down,

200
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,039
I guess I'd have to say Bukowski...

201
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,666
(Shrill groans)

202
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,835
...um, Nabokov...
- Shh, stop it.

203
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:49,796
But I guess the writer
who really shaped me,

204
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,881
the one who was my last
true influence

205
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,217
before I started
doing this professionally,

206
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,553
that would have to be...
Hank Moody.

207
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,762
(Applause)

208
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,932
Oh, all right. Thank you.

209
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,435
I thank you.

210
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,856
You're so moody.

211
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,358
You must be Hank and Karen.

212
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,153
- Yes.
- Paul Ryder, Mia's manager.

213
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,988
- Oh, hey.
- Wow.

214
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,281
Mia's got a manager now.

215
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,949
- Uh-huh.
- What is this world coming to?

216
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,118
(Chuckles) Oh, you'd be surprised.

217
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,245
Careers need guidance, nurturing.

218
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,164
- Sure.
- You hear that? Nurturing.

219
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,708
I suppose,
if you're into that sort of thing.

220
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,586
Hey, I just... I wanted to tell you,

221
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,296
I'm a really big fan.

222
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,797
- Oh.
- So...

223
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,760
Anyway, Mia wanted me to invite you guys
back to the house for a drink.

224
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,011
- No.
- Yes.

225
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,971
You will. You will see us later.

226
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,306
- OK.
- OK.

227
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,183
All right.

228
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,603
- What the fuck is wrong with you, woman?
- He's a big fan of yours, OK?

229
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,355
It'll all be about you.

230
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,986
Do you want to bone?

231
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,240
Do I want to bone?

232
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,576
Does the Pope shit in the Vatican?

233
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,078
- In the woods.
- What?

234
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,789
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
That's the joke.

235
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:10,085
I know. I modified it.
That's what funny people do.

236
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,753
Whatever, dude.

237
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:15,715
You know, I have been thinking
about getting a reversal...

238
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,136
of my vasectomy.

239
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,223
- Why?
- Why?

240
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,934
In case I want to have kids one day.

241
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,561
Do you think that's a good idea?

242
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,066
I think...

243
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,944
- Shut up and fuck me.
- I can do dat.

244
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,823
(Hank) Oh...

245
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,575
- Party people everywhere, raise the roof.
- Hi, guys!

246
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,786
- I'm so glad you could make it.
- Hey, you were great.

247
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,080
Oh, thanks.

248
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,207
Oh, thanks. Thanks.

249
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,960
- Did you guys meet Paul?
- Yes.

250
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,921
So where's the fella?

251
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,341
This is my fellow.

252
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,554
Your boyfriend is your manager?

253
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,638
Uh-huh.

254
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,598
Ow.

255
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,726
(Laughter)

256
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,479
So is there going to be a movie?

257
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,941
Uh, it sure looks like it.
We're talking to Evan Rachel Wood.

258
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,359
Oh, my God, that's awesome.

259
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,861
- She would be great.
- Rachel who?

260
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,447
- Yeah.
- The script's out to directors right now.

261
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,407
Did you write the script, sweetie?

262
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,325
Oh, no.

263
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,245
Screenwriting's not really my thing -
too many rules.

264
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,580
I'll stick to fiction.

265
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,249
Yeah, that's a good call.
You stick to fiction.

266
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,376
(Muffled speech)

267
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,212
Yeah, well, um, you know, I think Evan
might be around here somewhere.

268
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,965
Do you want to meet her?
I'll introduce you guys.

269
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,925
- Oh, yeah, me too.
- Who?

270
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,595
Honey... OK, but I would like a kiss.

271
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,889
Kiss me.

272
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,558
- No, with lips.
- A strokey.

273
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,186
Not enough.

274
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,774
So...

275
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,651
- Working on anything?
- Oh, God, no.

276
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:01,571
Uh, just mostly my tan.
I'm trying to get that all-over deal.

277
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,823
It's hard to get the taint
nice and golden, though.

278
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,366
I imagine so.

279
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:10,371
It's been a while, though, huh,
since you had something out there?

280
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:15,126
Don't worry about me, buddy boy.
Worry about Mia.

281
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,961
I do worry about her.

282
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,132
She's having some trouble
with her second book.

283
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,301
I'm not surprised.

284
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,427
Why?

285
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,557
It's just that writing's hard, you know.

286
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,684
Writing's fucking hard,
wunderkind or not.

287
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,270
- Fuck, yeah, it's hard.
- Yeah.

288
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,981
That's funny,
because I thought you were meaning

289
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,777
it's because she didn't write
Fucking & Punching in the first place.

290
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,660
I don't know what you're talking about,
friend. That's between you and your client.

291
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,372
(Sighs)

292
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:56,835
Her publisher asked her to write
some extra pages for the paperback.

293
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,838
She told me she couldn't -
too stressed.

294
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,841
So I took care of it,
managed expectations,

295
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,260
told them the road was taking its toll.

296
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,512
They bought it. No big deal.

297
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,974
I had a feeling...

298
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,102
so I kept pressing her
to show me some more pages.

299
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:17,021
She finally did,
and they were rambling,

300
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:19,983
incoherent, pretentious.

301
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,319
Not the same voice
behind Fucking & Punching -

302
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,613
not even close, night and day.

303
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,491
So I start asking questions.

304
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,578
Didn't take long.

305
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:34,747
She broke down,
told me everything.

306
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,504
Everything?

307
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,884
Quite the literary scandal
we have here...

308
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:49,888
which is not a bad thing necessarily.

309
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,140
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?

310
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,935
Think about it, Hank.

311
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,521
What if she came clean?

312
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,607
Told the story behind the story.

313
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:03,985
Her fame suddenly becomes
something else entirely,

314
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,945
something I can work with.

315
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,823
Who knows? Maybe she goes on Oprah,
a fucking reality show...

316
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:12,118
I don't know. I'm just spitballing here.
But it's better than fading away.

317
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,954
And best of all,
you get your book back -

318
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,706
maybe some infamy of your own.

319
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,585
The publishing world knows you
as this brilliant train wreck.

320
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,962
Let everyone else in on it.

321
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,507
I can get you a tell-all deal like that.

322
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,844
You think this shit is funny?

323
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,474
No, I think it's a fucking disaster.

324
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:38,728
My biggest client is a fraud. I'm trying
to make the best of a bad situation.

325
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,731
Fuck you. You're trying to capitalise
on a bad situation.

326
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,944
I know you're all pissed off at the world
right now, and you want to take it out on me.

327
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,821
But just remember, I'm not the one
that fucked an underage girl.

328
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,949
At least I waited till she was 18.

329
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,579
- Hey.
- Are you boys getting along?

330
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,456
Famously.

331
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,793
- Hey, sweetie.
- Isn't he a genius, Hank?

332
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,295
Oh, please,
I'm a mere businessman.

333
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,506
You artists are the real geniuses.

334
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,924
To Mia...

335
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,344
and to her greatest influence.

336
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,530
Yes, you certainly could be
in a lot of trouble.

337
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,866
- But I didn't know.
- (Jill) Doesn't matter.

338
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,576
It's your word against hers, and...

339
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,788
sorry, but no one believes a word
out of your mouth.

340
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,082
I thought I was charming.

341
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,750
Not that charming.

342
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,049
- Hank!
- Hey. Whoa, whoa.

343
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,260
(Women laughing)

344
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:55,972
- Hey.
- (Laughter echoing)

345
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,265
Karen!

346
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,851
- Hey!
- Come on. Stop.

347
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,728
(Woman) Oh, Hank!

348
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,272
(Women laughing)

349
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:13,239
- Don't go.
- Don't leave. Stay with us.

350
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,575
- Becca!
- Stay!

351
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:24,542
Karen!

352
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,984
I think she's talking about Rexy.

353
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,403
Isn't that where she's like,
"He's just so stupid"?

354
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,697
(Both laughing)

355
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,202
Are you OK?

356
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:02,163
Yeah, no, I'm good. I just, uh...

357
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,916
I didn't sleep very well last night.

358
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,667
OK, well...

359
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:11,464
Hey, why don't you take this sourpuss
out for a walk or something, all right?

360
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,550
I've got so much packing to do.

361
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,802
I'm so excited!

362
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,442
(Door opens, closes)

363
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:37,532
(Becca) You know what
I'm going to miss?

364
00:18:37,574 --> 00:18:39,700
These walks.

365
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,870
When I think back on LA,
that's what I'll remember.

366
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,166
(Hank) I'm sorry, sweetie.
Did you say something?

367
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,585
(Becca) Never mind.

368
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:54,257
There's something I have to tell you.

369
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,300
Dad?

370
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,136
All right, go for it.

371
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,388
I haven't told Mom yet.

372
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:04,350
For some reason,
I feel like I need to tell you first.

373
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,893
OK.

374
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,896
The other night,
when I slept over at Chelsea's...

375
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,022
Yeah.

376
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,191
- We snuck out.
- Becca...

377
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:15,236
It's not as bad as it sounds, Dad.

378
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,656
And wouldn't you rather
I be honest about this stuff?

379
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,576
Yes, of course. OK.

380
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,077
Go ahead.

381
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,414
So, we were just wandering
around campus,

382
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,875
and we met these boys.

383
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:32,128
- OK, now I'm vaguely nauseous.
- Just bear with me, OK?

384
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,547
- Mm-hm.
- Well, Chelsea immediately hooked up

385
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:38,593
with the dickish good-looking one
and spent the night in his dorm room.

386
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,848
I ended up sexiled with the nerd,
the Michael Cera type.

387
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,267
- Michael who?
- It doesn't matter.

388
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,312
The point is, we ended up
walking and talking all night long.

389
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,564
He was really sweet,
a total gentleman.

390
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,525
Hm.
All right, well, I like the sound of that.

391
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,945
He did kiss me, though.

392
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,739
Here comes another wave.

393
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,159
It was nice to have a boy
want to kiss you.

394
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,745
He tried to go further,
but I stopped him.

395
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:08,456
- Ah, that's my girl.
- He was totally sweet about it.

396
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,208
- OK.
- Very understanding.

397
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,377
- Sounds good.
- Heard me out, didn't push it.

398
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,670
That's great. All right.

399
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:17,298
- But we did it anyway.
- Right.

400
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,799
Wait, what?

401
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,302
What... You did... You did what?

402
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,597
Don't be mad at me, OK?
I don't know if I could take that right now.

403
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,225
We used protection.
He had a condom in his wallet

404
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,644
that he said had been there
since high school.

405
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,313
It wasn't love,
and it wasn't perfect or anything.

406
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,774
But I'm glad I did it.
I got it over with.

407
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,984
- But...
- And I wanted to tell you first

408
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,946
because I wanted you to know
that you didn't fuck me up.

409
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:43,282
My life is tough and weird
and unpleasant sometimes,

410
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,867
but I walk around knowing

411
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,453
that I have parents who love me,
who care about me,

412
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:52,083
who always try their best,
even if they screw up sometimes.

413
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,919
I know I gave you a hard time
when Mom was gone,

414
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,338
but I hope you know that
I love you, Dad.

415
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,589
And I always will.

416
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,183
All right.

417
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,685
Um...

418
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,188
Can you, uh...

419
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:17,358
Can you wait till New York
to tell your mom about this?

420
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,902
- OK.
- OK.

421
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,826
I'm a woman now, Dad.

422
00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:31,455
Oh...

423
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,011
You don't want to do this.

424
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,555
- Do what, Hank?
- Come on, don't fuck with me.

425
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:32,308
You must have some idea what he's
thinking. Why would you tell him?

426
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,060
Because I'm in love with him.

427
00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,270
People in love
tell each other everything.

428
00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:39,231
Well, maybe not in your case.

429
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,817
Mia, you can do better
than this guy.

430
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,027
You can.

431
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,321
Oh, yeah? Who's better? You?

432
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,448
This past year has been
a roller-coaster ride,

433
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,575
and he's been the only one
taking care of me.

434
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,911
Come on, I know you.
You're a mischievous little fuck,

435
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:54,747
but you're not malicious.
Forget about me.

436
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:57,291
Think about Karen,
and think about Becca.

437
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,834
This is gonna hurt them.

438
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,503
Is that what you want?

439
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,880
Look, it's my story to tell,

440
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:05,508
and my story includes the fact
that I seduced you.

441
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,510
You didn't know how old I was.

442
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:10,388
It's not like I'm going to
press charges or anything.

443
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,557
You really think that matters at this point?
Karen loves you.

444
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,851
She treated you
like you were her own daughter.

445
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,978
And Becca looks up to you
like a big sister.

446
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,569
It seemed like a good idea
at the time.

447
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:29,281
It doesn't feel so great, though, you know,
to be famous for no reason.

448
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,700
Sometimes I can
go along with it just fine,

449
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:34,078
and I remember...

450
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:35,913
Right.

451
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:40,584
That's the thing about secrets, Hank -
they have a funny way of coming out.

452
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:43,003
You OK, baby?

453
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:45,089
I'm fine, fine.

454
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:50,594
Can you just fuck off?
Give us five minutes?

455
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:52,555
Hank, it doesn't have to be this way.

456
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:55,099
We could all just
put our heads together.

457
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,601
We could figure out the best way
to approach this whole thing.

458
00:23:57,644 --> 00:24:00,896
I know you don't want to upset your family.
I'm sensitive to that.

459
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:03,732
Really? Yeah, OK.
You're sensitive to that.

460
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,985
You don't know anything
about my family.

461
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:09,238
No, not much. I'll admit to that.

462
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,823
But from what I do know,

463
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,742
you're not exactly the model patriarch.

464
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,286
(Chuckles)

465
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,505
Stop! Hank!

466
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,591
Hank, stop!

467
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,509
Hank, stop! Stop!

468
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,136
Hank!

469
00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:38,267
You're fucked, Moody.

470
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:40,311
I'm calling the police.

471
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,659
Hey, you!

472
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,829
I'm almost done!

473
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,041
Proud of me?

474
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,004
Are you excited?

475
00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:12,968
Oh, my God. What happened?
What the fuck happened to you?

476
00:25:13,011 --> 00:25:15,012
- I'm fine.
- Are you OK?

477
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,347
- I got into a fight.
- What?

478
00:25:16,389 --> 00:25:18,182
- What do you mean?
- It's OK. I have, um...

479
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:21,060
- Hank!
- No, it's... I just...

480
00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,561
What?

481
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:26,190
- I need to tell you something.
- OK. What is it?

482
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,775
Um...

483
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:29,610
Hank?

484
00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,947
What? What could possibly be this bad?

485
00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:34,281
You look...

486
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:38,619
- (Dialogue silent)
- ♪ She packed my bags last night pre-flight

487
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:45,000
♪ Zero hour 9am

488
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:53,509
♪ And I'm gonna be high

489
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:55,803
♪ As a kite by then

490
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:06,438
♪ I miss the earth so much,
I miss my wife

491
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:12,820
♪ It's lonely out in space

492
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:20,369
♪ On such a timeless flight

493
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:32,464
♪ And I think it's gonna be
a long, long time

494
00:26:32,507 --> 00:26:36,135
♪ Till touch down brings me
round again to find

495
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:38,637
♪ I'm not the man
they think I am at home

496
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,765
♪ Oh, no no no

497
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:45,519
♪ I'm a rocket man

498
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:47,104
♪ Rocket man

499
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:52,276
♪ Burning out his fuse
up here alone

500
00:26:56,114 --> 00:27:01,118
♪ Mars ain't the kind of place
to raise your kids

501
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:07,458
♪ In fact it's cold as hell

502
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:15,633
♪ And there's no one there
to raise them

503
00:27:15,675 --> 00:27:17,468
♪ If you did

504
00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:27,853
♪ And all this science
I don't understand

505
00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:34,568
♪ It's just my job
five days a week

506
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:44,828
♪ A rocket man

507
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,962
♪ And I think it's gonna be
a long, long time

508
00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:57,299
♪ Till touch down brings me
round again to find

509
00:27:57,342 --> 00:28:00,636
♪ I'm not the man
they think I am at home

510
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:03,347
♪ Oh, no no no

511
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,891
♪ I'm a rocket man

512
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,644
♪ Rocket man

513
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:12,147
♪ Burning out his fuse
up here alone

514
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:17,611
♪ Rocket man

515
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:21,198
♪ And I think it's gonna be
a long, long time

516
00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:24,493
♪ Till touch down
brings me round again to find

517
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:27,788
♪ I'm not the man
they think I am at home

518
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,332
♪ Oh, no no no

519
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:33,085
♪ I'm a rocket man

520
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:35,838
♪ Rocket man

521
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,258
♪ Burning out his fuse
up here alone

522
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:44,805
♪ And I think it's gonna be... ♪