1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,758 Previously on Californication... 2 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,885 If you were gonna have sex with someone 3 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:17,218 and you knew that it would be the absolute last time, 4 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,136 what do you think it would be like? 5 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,473 Incredibly sad. 6 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,975 Make me sad. 7 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,065 Who the fuck are you? 8 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,024 Stu Beggs. Nice to meet you. 9 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:29,063 - I met the wife. - Yeah, soon-to-be-ex. Splitsville. 10 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,028 So you wouldn't mind if I took a crack at her? 11 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,527 Want to know how many women I've slept with? 12 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,322 - Mmm-mmm. - I got to get it up to 100. 13 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,951 Triple digits. Then I can die happy. 14 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,779 - I'm pregnant. - I'm gonna be a father! 15 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,117 - I'm carrying Charlie's baby. - What? 16 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,373 What the fuck? 17 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,921 You know what I think, Dad? 18 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,672 I think it's all gonna be OK. 19 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:49,836 Chapters end. 20 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,883 Sometimes you gotta shake things up. 21 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,761 Check out of this dump. 22 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,209 Go home. 23 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,446 You're amazing. 24 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,492 A goddess. 25 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,489 A gift from on high. 26 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:26,618 You deserve the white dress and the happy ending. 27 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,173 Are we gonna take this thing to the next level or what? 28 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,677 Huh? What? 29 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,639 Well, we're coming up on a year, Hank. 30 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,184 - Really? Wow. - Mmm-hmm. 31 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,972 Time certainly doth fly. 32 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,895 We've kept it pretty cas. 33 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,523 I've been pretty careful 34 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,933 about making sure I don't make any demands on your time. 35 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,106 I don't want to be that girl. 36 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,570 No, you've been a great not-that girl. 37 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,525 I just want to know what you see us becoming... 38 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,819 Eventually. 39 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:04,487 I see us becoming incredibly close, 40 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,623 great friends eventually. 41 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,714 After the part where you hate my guts for a long, cold winter. 42 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,957 It's not that I'm not fond of you. I am. 43 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,165 Inordinately so. 44 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,380 It's just that I enjoy the casual nature of things. 45 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,670 I'm a casual guy. 46 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,804 You know, I have to be because I'm damaged. 47 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,220 Broken really. 48 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,267 You know, old dog, no new tricks. 49 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,354 But you, you're amazing. 50 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,639 A goddess. A gift from on high. 51 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,358 You deserve the white dress and the happy ending. 52 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,519 I'm just not the guy to give it to you, you know? 53 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,071 And... See, you're mad. 54 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,437 I can tell. 55 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,646 I'm not mad. 56 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:38,862 - You're not? - No. 57 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,326 - Well, I'm glad. - No, no. 58 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,948 It's just... You fucked me in the ass, Hank. 59 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,622 Oh, are we speaking metaphorically, because... 60 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,451 No, I gave up the butt for you. 61 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,784 Do you think I would have let you sodomise me 62 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,503 if I didn't think there was a future here? 63 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,664 You did say that you liked it more than you thought you would. 64 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,038 Yeah, well, that's not the point. 65 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,248 That's not the point. 66 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,006 This man's a monster. 67 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,765 He likes to fuck women in the ass 68 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,891 and then tell them that he just wants to keep it casual. 69 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,495 Who calling my phone? 70 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,251 It's your agent calling from the coast 71 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,908 with the prospect of a significant payday. 72 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,786 I'll take it. 73 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,838 - Don't you want to know what it is? - Nope. 74 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:39,508 Can you book me on the next-ish flight to this coast of which you speak? 75 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,255 Uh-oh. What happened? What did you do? 76 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,725 I've got kind of a bunny-boiler situation happening. 77 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,051 She's got a key to my place. 78 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,184 I may need to crash at the villa for a few days. 79 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,896 - Is that cool? - Hey, mi casa, amigo. 80 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,690 I'll even pick you up at the airport. 81 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,734 Thanks, Runks. Much appreesh. 82 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,820 Looking forward to it, buddy. I've missed your black ass! 83 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,235 Later, masturbator. 84 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,437 Oh, shit. 85 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,064 Did I just do what I think I just did? 86 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,149 - Yes. - Oh, I am so truly... 87 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,522 - You did. ...madly, deeply sorry. 88 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,319 You know, and that doesn't change the fact 89 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,730 that I now have a puddle in my lap. 90 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:45,367 Well, one could argue that it's not entirely my fault 91 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,073 that you force grown men to make huge puddles in your lap. 92 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,164 - I'm not laughing. - Sure you are. 93 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,454 Little bit? On the inside, maybe? Yeah. 94 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,870 - OK, I have it. Thanks. - Man, what are the odds? 95 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,420 Of what? 96 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,296 Usually, I get on a plane, I'm seated next to John Candy, 97 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,675 you know, or Ruth Gordon, if I'm lucky. 98 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:08,849 But I end up next to the most beautiful woman in the tri-state area, 99 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,558 and I go and spill a drink in her lap. 100 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,468 Nice work, huh? 101 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,054 Stupid, stupid, stupid. 102 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,437 The tri-state area? 103 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,195 You're world-class. You're runway calibre. 104 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,738 You're so beautiful you're almost ugly. 105 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,068 I just didn't want it to go to your head. 106 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,356 Hank. 107 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,277 Uh, 2-A. That's me. 108 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:30,454 - Sorry. - Well, you'd better be, pal. 109 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,201 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 110 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,371 No, no, no, no, hold on. 111 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,539 Just wait. Hold on a second. 112 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:36,872 Can't you just take her seat? 113 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,545 If the ticket says 2-A, then 2-A is where I'm parking my posterior. 114 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,877 Real stickler for the rules, this guy. 115 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,761 That's how we keep the trains running on time. 116 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,222 Choo-choo! 117 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,130 Nice to meet you, Hank. 118 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,681 - Bye, Miss Never-got-your-name. - Bye-bye. 119 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,312 Excuse me. My goodness. 120 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,511 Wow. 121 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,471 Sorry. 122 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,147 Oh. 123 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,029 Ah! Whew! 124 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:09,030 I have got to get this under control. I'm almost too fat to fly. 125 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:13,827 - Some? - No. 126 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,410 No, I'm good. Thanks. 127 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,042 Shoot, sorry, sorry. 128 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,870 Jeez, go ahead before I shit myself. 129 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,171 - Excuse me? - Go. Go sit with your wife. 130 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,302 She guilted me into swapping with you. 131 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,884 Enjoy your fucking honeymoon. 132 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,466 It's almost like the pursuit of this one woman, 133 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:38,061 this one relationship, became its own form of heroin. 134 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,230 I was strung out, you know? 135 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,603 I was driving her crazy, making my kid miserable. 136 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,232 But when you finally give up and let go, 137 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,650 good stuff starts to happen. 138 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,361 She's better now. My kid's fantastic. 139 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,033 And I'm keeping it simple. 140 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,448 Such a sad, sweet tale of woe. 141 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,916 I'm surprised you made it through the whole thing. 142 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,002 I thought you might try to hang yourself there at some point. 143 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,796 You know, I actually did think about it, 144 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,589 but I figured, you know, that'd be kind of rude 145 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,000 since you were pouring your heart out and all. 146 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,212 - Appreciate that. - Yeah. 147 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,970 But, you know, this has been nice to actually have a conversation 148 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,760 where someone who isn't trying to get in my pants. 149 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:19,102 You mean my epic love story for the ages isn't pure panty-peeler? 150 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,972 OK, excuse me. 151 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,646 I'm gonna go to the little girls' room. 152 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,314 Well, if you don't want me to try to get in your pants, 153 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,232 don't talk dirty to me. 154 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,823 You know, I really hope that no one comes in on me. 155 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:33,907 Lock the door. 156 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,072 See, that's the thing. 157 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,416 I always forget. 158 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,201 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 159 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,444 I'm sorry. I thought you... 160 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,330 I'm just kidding. 161 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,947 I thought you had to pee. 162 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,836 I already did. 163 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,711 I'm sorry I missed that. 164 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,348 Have you done this before? 165 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,924 Kissed a girl? A couple of times. 166 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:43,641 - In an aeroplane bathroom? - Believe it or not, no. 167 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,475 It always seemed like more trouble than it was worth. 168 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,646 But, now that I'm here, 169 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,060 I think I was just holding out for the right gal. 170 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,991 For the love of Christ! Save it for the honeymoon suite. 171 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,528 I've got serious work I gotta do in here. 172 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,409 Thanks for pretty much the best flight ever. 173 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,745 You're very welcome. 174 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,215 I guess we shouldn't ruin it by keeping in touch or anything. 175 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,541 I couldn't agree more. 176 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,875 You know what they say, 177 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,469 what happens in small, cramped toilets stays in small, cramped toilets. 178 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,051 That's one of my favourite sayings. 179 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,933 Right up there with "Eatin' ain't cheatin'." 180 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,938 You know, it's been a long time since I just made out with a guy. 181 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,428 You dirty slut. 182 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,723 I know. It was kind of hot, though. 183 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,522 Yeah. You know, maybe we should do it again sometime 184 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,900 with more room to move one's extremities. 185 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,780 You did not experience my best work, lady. 186 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,241 I've got some serious moves. 187 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,451 I need to be able to extend and retract and... 188 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,283 I've got to loosen up. 189 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,914 If I have... Maybe I should get your number. 190 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,490 Hold on. Let me just... I can never work this thing. 191 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,624 Hey, come on, cock blocker. 192 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,752 Roll down the window. 193 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,669 Hey... 194 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:53,832 - Whoo! - Runks! 195 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,006 Aah! 196 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,376 And Little Runks! 197 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,054 Up high for Uncle Hankness. 198 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,683 You can do it! My man! 199 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,845 Hey, you're looking good. 200 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,768 - He talking yet? - Nope. Not a word. 201 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,064 Marce do tell me it's totally normal. 202 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,191 - How old now? - 2.5. 203 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,653 - Totally not normal, Charlie. - I know! 204 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,613 That's what I keep saying! 205 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,945 That's a sweet ride you got here. 206 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,285 I was totally expecting one of your faggoty little girl cars. 207 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,949 This is how much I missed you. 208 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:26,166 Leasing this very expensive penis extension 209 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,535 made me feel closer to my brother from another mother. 210 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,832 Oh, you sweet, bald, cock-hungry homo, you. 211 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,626 Hank, Hank. 212 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,669 He may not say much but he's not deaf. 213 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:36,875 I'm sorry. 214 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:41,217 I just see you, I get all excited. The words just spill out. 215 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,232 Hank. 216 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,449 Sorry. They all look the same. 217 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,078 - What? In a good way. - Right. 218 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,573 Condescending to the last. 219 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,198 Maybe the houses all look the same, but you... 220 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,541 - You look amazing. - Thank you. 221 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:10,576 Easy, tiger. 222 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,456 Oh, I can't believe we haven't fucked for two years, nine months, 223 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:20,384 three weeks and 69 hours. 224 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,219 What? It's a compliment. I'd still totally do you. 225 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,388 Good to know. 226 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:29,719 As I recall, it was mish into doggie. Segued quite seamlessly into cowgirl. 227 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:33,143 I came twice. You just the once. A guy remembers these things. 228 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,515 It would appear that I owe you one. 229 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,694 - How are you, Hank? - Most excellent, thank you. 230 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,986 Mmm-hmm. Are you still keeping it simple 231 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,616 - with, um, what's-her-name? - Nope. 232 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,076 Ended that just last night, thank you very much. 233 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,612 - Ah! Hence, the sudden arrival. - Nonsense. 234 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:48,280 The business of show has brought me to the left coast. 235 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:51,620 And how could I pass up an opportunity to gaze upon my ladies? 236 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,203 Alas, this one's not your lady any more, Hank. 237 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,753 Bates! Good to see you wearing pants. How's it tucking? 238 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,000 Well, that's between me and your ex-baby mama. 239 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,253 She's still my baby mama and always will be. 240 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,805 Get used to it. That will not change. 241 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,807 Didn't we do this once before and it ended in fisticuffs? 242 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,012 Yes. And a good fisticuffs it was. Epic. 243 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,269 Mmm-hmm. In fact, I think we needed to do it. 244 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,764 Like men in prison. We had to get it out of the way. 245 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,309 We had to do the man dance just once, just a taste, 246 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,648 so we could move on with our lives 247 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:19,695 and become the Cold War powers that we are today. 248 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,365 Is that what it was? 249 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,899 Cos I seem to remember you pissing me off to such an extent, 250 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:26,236 I was left with no choice but to take a swing. 251 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,872 I hit you right back. Don't forget that part. 252 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,285 - No blood. - Sizeable shiner. 253 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,537 Yeah, blood's more embarrassing. 254 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:32,618 Karen had to get you a towel, some ice. 255 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,119 - Fresh pair of panties, too, right? - Yep. Still wearing them. 256 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:37,830 How's Becca? 257 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,087 - Wonderful. - Uh... 258 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,885 - What's that? - Nothing. 259 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:44,218 No, that is definitely not nothing. 260 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,005 In fact, that's exactly the kind of frown I'd give you 261 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,643 if you were trying to bullshit a bullshitter. 262 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,847 It's her fucking boyfriend. I mean, I wanna kill him, Hank. 263 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:55,600 I mean, I don't wanna kill him. I wanna dismember him. Slowly. 264 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,270 And pour Tabasco sauce in his torn, bloody asshole 265 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,936 as he dies, screaming for his mommy and daddy. 266 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,111 - Yeah. - Nice. 267 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,480 Karen, 268 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,363 if you absolutely have to be with someone else, this is the right guy. 269 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,536 I know. He's like you. 270 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,834 But awesome. 271 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:15,951 That's me. 272 00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:17,547 Whatever! 273 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,832 Gross. This is gross. Cut it out. 274 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,926 Where is she? What's the story? 275 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,253 I don't know. She didn't come home last night. 276 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,672 What? What kind of shop are you guys running around here? 277 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,008 - That's what I always say. - You know, she's at college, Hank. 278 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:32,427 I mean, you know, she stays some nights with her boyfriend. 279 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,801 It's been known to happen. 280 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,475 She's having sex with this guy? 281 00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,357 - I should hope so. - Why? 282 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,723 - Because he's hot. - Oh... 283 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:39,898 Who are you? 284 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,611 He's a real fucking doucheboat is what he is. 285 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:44,104 You know what? We'll have dinner. 286 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:47,108 I'll make sure she brings him. OK? 287 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,824 Fine. Why not? 288 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,371 Dinner with the ex, her new husband. 289 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,781 My insolent daughter, her asshole boyfriend. 290 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,073 Fan-fucking-tastic. 291 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:56,374 This is not shaping up to be a great trip. Not at all. 292 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,711 I've only been in LA a couple of hours, 293 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,956 and I'm already supremely fucking agitated. 294 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,457 Have I told you about how much money you stand to make? 295 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:06,221 I don't believe it, Runks. Nothing's ever that easy. 296 00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:08,381 And I'm not jumping through any hoops to land this thing, 297 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,550 whatever this thing is. What is this thing? 298 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,049 Hello! 299 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:15,937 Hello! Ex-wife! 300 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:18,649 Hello! 301 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,819 Big time movie producer guy? Hello? 302 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,695 What the fuck? 303 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,149 I'm gonna take a piss. 304 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,621 Oh... Eat that bitch! 305 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,531 - Goddamn it! - Mmm. 306 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,083 Goddamn it! No, harder. 307 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,783 Yes! Ah! 308 00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:40,294 Charlie! Come here, Charlie, Charlie. 309 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,211 She moan like that when you used to munch her out? 310 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:51,508 Hardly. Of course, I didn't have quite as many quatloos in the bank, 311 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,474 and an Academy Award on my shelf. 312 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,884 These things have been known to enhance the female orgasm. 313 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,469 Stuart! 314 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,024 Close your eyes, son! 315 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,484 Charlie? 316 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,644 Hank. Stuart. 317 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,233 Irma! 318 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,232 Christ on a cross. 319 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,777 Hank. Oh, so good to see you. 320 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,157 Hey, can we do this a little later when you lose the wood? 321 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,951 - Wash your face? - Yeah. Oh! 322 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:21,371 Yeah. Sorry. And this is gonna be a while. 323 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,503 I just popped a Niagara. 324 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,080 You mean a Viagra. 325 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:27,216 No, we call it Niagara around here 326 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,628 because my rock-hard endowment 327 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,047 makes Marcy gush like Niagara Falls. 328 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,976 - Oh! So Marcy's a squirter now? - Oh, yeah. 329 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,934 Things have really changed in my absence. 330 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,555 Yeah, Marcy's in the throes of a real sexual renaissance now, Hank. 331 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,815 - It's exhilarating. - It's good to hear. 332 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:43,932 That's really good to hear. 333 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,735 But you're too young to mess with that Niagara shit, Stu. 334 00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,228 I know, I know. I just really like the nine-hour boner. 335 00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,777 It makes me feel alive. You know, I get shit done. 336 00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,778 What is wrong with you people? 337 00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:55,151 You're like a couple of teenagers! 338 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:58,164 Yeah, well, Irma was supposed to be watching him. 339 00:15:58,250 --> 00:15:59,448 It was a quickie, Runkle. 340 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,535 Then we were all going for some fro-yo. 341 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,878 Speaking of which, why is he eating these terrible snacks? 342 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,756 Oh, settle down, soccer mom. 343 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,799 Hanky! Hug! 344 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:11,001 Mwah! 345 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,765 Oh, you smell like sex. 346 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,676 - Yes, I do! - And weed. 347 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,677 Well, yeah, mama's little helper. 348 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,806 I take a puff sky or two and I get the sex munchies, you know? 349 00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:23,649 I'm going through a real sexual renaissance. 350 00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:25,109 I heard. 351 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:26,522 Irma. 352 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:27,726 What the fuck? 353 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,613 Language, Marcy! 354 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:33,399 He sneak away. He always sneak away. He so quiet, like a mouse. 355 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,904 Oh, dios mio! 356 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,747 It doesn't have anything to do with you watching your stories? 357 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,705 El gordo y la flaca? 358 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,117 I know all about it, Irma! 359 00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:44,702 I'm calling immigration, motherfucker! 360 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,374 No, no, no, no! 361 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,330 What are you guys doing here? 362 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,587 What are we doing here? We came for the meeting. 363 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,379 Jesus, Runkle. Didn't you get the message? There is no meeting. 364 00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:58,309 He wants Hank to come to him. One-on-one. 365 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,719 - Face time. - Who the fuck is "he"? 366 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,852 Samurai Apocalypse. 367 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,974 - What? Huh? - The rapper? 368 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,519 Oh, have a little respect, Runkle. 369 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,315 The man has transcended rapper long ago. 370 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:14,481 Sam is a producer, businessman, entrepreneur, humanitarian. 371 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,652 No, he's a major player, Hank. Major. 372 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,578 And I pass. 373 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:20,573 Oh, no, no, no, no. You have to take the meeting. 374 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:23,073 He really is an inspiring human being. 375 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,710 He also has writer approval, 376 00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:26,503 and he hasn't liked anyone we've sent him. 377 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,080 First of all, I'm not auditioning for anyone. 378 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:32,211 Especially someone who calls himself Samurai Apocalypse. 379 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,877 And, secondly, why wasn't I first on the list? 380 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,974 What I... I wasn't aware... 381 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,517 Hollywood assholes. 382 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:40,799 Well... 383 00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,842 TM. You ever try it? 384 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,804 Truth be told, I get more satisfaction out of a solid BM. 385 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,890 Thank you, Alfred. 386 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,521 - Alfred. Really? - Fuck, yeah, man. 387 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,730 When I was a kid, I told my moms, 388 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,572 "Mama, when I get rich and famous, I'm gonna get me an Alfred." 389 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,854 Your moms must be proud, 390 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,823 because you gots yourself a fucking Alfred, all right. 391 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,327 I don't even know the motherfucker's real name. 392 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,488 I just call him Alfred, and he snaps right to it. 393 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:44,076 I don't even know if I pay this motherfucker. 394 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,494 He might be my slave. 395 00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,458 Take that, white people. 396 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,870 You know, I dug your book, man, for real. 397 00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,213 - Thank you. - That shit was crazy. 398 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:53,372 All right. Thanks. 399 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:54,926 When that chick squirted all over Runkle, 400 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,340 I laughed so hard, I almost shit in my own pants, man. 401 00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,383 Yeah, Runkle's always good for a laugh. 402 00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:02,016 - And a shart. - You're telling me. 403 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,058 Motherfucker's a walking Pez dispenser. 404 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,389 Chha, chha, chha, chha, chha. 405 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,272 So you read the book, huh? Cool. 406 00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:10,935 You think I can't read, man? 407 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,485 What kind of shit is that to say to a brother, yo? 408 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,478 I read your shit from cover to cover, man, 409 00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,979 even the boring, pretentious parts. 410 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:18,485 Yo, I think you the guy to write my shit. 411 00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:22,782 - What do you have in mind? - Santa Monica Cop. 412 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,570 I don't know what that means. 413 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,287 Look, man, I did this rap shit already. 414 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:31,046 Sold gold, platinum, zirconium, check. 415 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,083 Got my own energy drink, Apocalypse Wow, check. 416 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:37,295 Got the fat-ass Scarface crib, crazy rides, 417 00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:39,010 and all the pussy a nigga can eat. 418 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:42,013 Check, check, check. So what's next? The movies. 419 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,882 But I wanna do my own thing, my own moment. 420 00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,931 Santa Monica Cop is my Eddie Murphy moment right now! 421 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,397 So it's like Beverly Hills Cop. 422 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,564 Nah, nigga, it's set in Santa Monica. 423 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,855 OK. I see the difference. 424 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,990 You a kingmaker, man. I wanna be a king, yo. 425 00:19:58,073 --> 00:19:59,271 - Yeah... - You in? 426 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,450 I don't know. It's not really my thing. 427 00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,943 What the fuck else you gonna do, write another book? 428 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,740 Fuck that. Let's get paid, motherfucker. 429 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:08,822 - Damn. - Hi. 430 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,709 Get your sexy ass over here, mama. 431 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,831 - What's up, mama? - Hey. 432 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,086 Hank Moody, this is Kali. 433 00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:20,209 Remember this name, Kali. 434 00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:22,973 Yo, she's gonna be a star. Gonna blow this bitch up. 435 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:26,516 Kali, this is Hank Moody, the writer/rapist. 436 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:28,928 Nice to meet you, Hank. 437 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,100 And you. 438 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:33,807 Oh, God. Sorry. Didn't mean to get a puddle on you. 439 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:36,149 - Sorry. - She keeps it cool for sure, yo. 440 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,562 Well, looks like you two are about to fornicate, 441 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,448 which is typically my cue. 442 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:44,317 Keep it real up in the field, a'ight? 443 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,536 I'm gonna keep in touch, Moody. 444 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,371 You can't escape Apocalypse now, yo! 445 00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:09,595 Hasn't been that long, Dad. 446 00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,599 Uh-oh. 447 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,230 - You got that look. - What look? 448 00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:17,481 That drunken, boy-crazy look. 449 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,237 - Promise you'll be nice. - Nice? 450 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,815 What are you talking about? I'm always nice. 451 00:21:20,906 --> 00:21:22,982 You might wanna get used to this one. 452 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,243 I could see him sticking. 453 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,782 To my shoe, maybe. 454 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,614 Like an unpleasant chunk of dog turd? 455 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:40,664 Hey. 456 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,890 How old of a mammal might you be, Tyler? 457 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:51,184 - I'm 24, Hank. - 24. Hmm. 458 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,854 24. 459 00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:57,524 Touch too old for my daughter, don't you think, maybe? Tad inappropriate? 460 00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:59,151 - Dad. - Daughter. 461 00:21:59,236 --> 00:22:00,695 - You're being a dick. - Am not. 462 00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,102 - Am, too. - Am not! 463 00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,989 - He's not being a dick, baby. - Baby? Really? 464 00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:05,355 He's just a concerned father. 465 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,110 You know? The two are easily confused. 466 00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:09,242 I don't think age is an issue here, Hank. 467 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:11,999 Becca is wise beyond her years, 468 00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:14,407 and I'm nothing if not somewhat stunted. 469 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:17,206 - That sounds familiar. - Ooh. 470 00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:21,129 Well, har-dee-har-har, Karen. So funny, I forgot to laugh. 471 00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:24,668 I'll take a snifter of that vino rouge you got there, Tyler. 472 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:27,169 Oh. Sorry, Hank. Looks like I killed it. 473 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,472 All by yourself? 474 00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:30,637 Again with the rude, no? 475 00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:34,143 Maybe, but it was an incredibly tasty super Tuscan. 476 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:35,723 You snooze, you lose. 477 00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:40,108 Hank, look, um, I get it, I do. 478 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,986 A young, good-looking guy swoops in, 479 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,862 starts sniffing around your one and only, 480 00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:46,273 and you question his motives. It's totally understandable. 481 00:22:46,909 --> 00:22:49,115 But I really like your daughter. 482 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:52,241 We're having fun, we're hanging out, we're keeping it simple. 483 00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:54,407 And, uh, I come in peace, OK? 484 00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:55,531 It's all good. 485 00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:57,542 - It's all good? - Yeah. 486 00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:00,169 - He's really charming. - It's all good! 487 00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:02,331 You hear that, Karen? It's all good. 488 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,666 - Yes, it's all good. - It's all good. 489 00:23:05,511 --> 00:23:07,918 We should get going, babe. We're gonna be late. 490 00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:10,718 Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. Is anybody gonna say anything? 491 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,556 OK, it's on me, the designated asshole. 492 00:23:14,645 --> 00:23:16,353 You're not really thinking of driving, are you? 493 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,146 You just finished off a whole bottle of wine. 494 00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:19,856 Hank, come on. 495 00:23:19,942 --> 00:23:21,815 Who puts wine in the drinking and driving category? 496 00:23:21,944 --> 00:23:23,058 Oh, I don't know. 497 00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:25,988 Maybe people who have lost kids to smarmy little fucks 498 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:29,074 who suck down super Tuscans and then got behind the wheel? 499 00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:31,068 And you've certainly never consumed alcohol 500 00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:33,237 and gotten behind the wheel, have you, Dad? 501 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:37,956 I have made certain mistakes, Becca. This has been well-documented. 502 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,210 But because of my foolishness, you don't have to make the same ones. 503 00:23:41,547 --> 00:23:44,417 Great seeing you, Dad. Always a pleasure. 504 00:23:45,175 --> 00:23:46,634 Becca, wait. 505 00:23:48,554 --> 00:23:50,593 See how easy that was? Problem solved. 506 00:23:51,223 --> 00:23:53,975 She's quite the little troubleshooter, that one. 507 00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,601 It was nice to finally meet you, Hank. 508 00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,928 I'm truly sorry if we got off on the wrong foot. 509 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,682 - Take care, Karen. - Bye. 510 00:24:03,277 --> 00:24:04,308 Jesus. 511 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:06,976 Even feels like a creep. Clammy fucking mitts. 512 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:08,780 I don't like it. Not one bit. 513 00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:10,781 Hank, you're here for a couple of days. 514 00:24:10,868 --> 00:24:12,944 Is this how you want to leave things with your daughter? 515 00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,112 I think I'm gonna let the grown-ups hash this one out. 516 00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:17,447 You know where I stand. I hate his stupid fucking guts. 517 00:24:17,541 --> 00:24:19,165 And I love you for it, Batesy. 518 00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:21,824 Your support means the world to me. 519 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:23,540 Seriously. I could felch you right now. 520 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:26,121 You know, it wouldn't be the first time a man has tongued my asshole 521 00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:27,675 - in gratitude. - Shut up, shut up! 522 00:24:27,759 --> 00:24:29,004 Rain check. 523 00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:31,217 - He's kidding, right? - You don't get it, do you? 524 00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:32,419 - What? - He's you. 525 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:35,634 Yes. You said so earlier. He's like me, only awesomer. 526 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,392 And I'm not sure I like the way you phrased it, 527 00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:39,102 but I certainly understand the sentiment, 528 00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:40,468 and I choose to see a compliment... 529 00:24:40,564 --> 00:24:42,438 Hank, will you shut the fuck up? 530 00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:45,525 - Cos I'm a bright side guy. - I'm not talking about Richard. 531 00:24:45,611 --> 00:24:46,642 - Tyler. - What? 532 00:24:46,737 --> 00:24:49,144 What are you talking about? The kid's a loathsome fucking asshole. 533 00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:51,611 Well, there are certain members of my family 534 00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,408 who said the very same thing about you. 535 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,819 Your folks, maybe. Not your sister. She always dug me. 536 00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:59,284 She used to molest me with her eyes something fierce. I could tell. 537 00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:02,076 Got me a little wet. Not gonna lie. 538 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:05,712 Wow. I can't believe it's taken me this many years 539 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,505 to realise you ended up with the wrong sister. 540 00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:11,423 Oh, she was a foxy little minx, that one, but she didn't turn on my heartlight. 541 00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:14,632 So what's the move here, Karen? 542 00:25:15,182 --> 00:25:16,890 Move? There is no move. 543 00:25:16,975 --> 00:25:18,517 No, there's always a move. 544 00:25:18,602 --> 00:25:22,137 She likes him. He says he likes her. It works until it doesn't. 545 00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:25,607 That sounds awfully familiar. 546 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:28,652 I'm not in the mood, Hank. I'm going back to my life. 547 00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,895 Yeah, who can blame you? It's a nice life. 548 00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:32,983 What? You did well for yourself. 549 00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:35,114 You got a white picket fence and everything. 550 00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:36,993 Yep. Home sweet home. 551 00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:40,614 I know bait when I hear it, and this little fishy ain't biting. 552 00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:42,329 Good night. 553 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:43,746 Good night, former lover. 554 00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:55,626 Oh. 555 00:26:14,825 --> 00:26:16,023 One 556 00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:23,738 Hundred! 557 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,917 I win! 558 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,590 Hank, buddy, I didn't even hear you come in. 559 00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:31,630 Hank, Hank, this is Ginger. 560 00:26:31,717 --> 00:26:35,964 Ginger, this is my best friend and star client, Hank Moody. 561 00:26:36,346 --> 00:26:38,386 - Hi, Hank. - Hey, Ginger. 562 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:41,006 Any naked friend of Charlie's is a naked friend of mine. 563 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,430 Whoo-hoo! 564 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:46,888 Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! 565 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,851 What's with the victory lap, dude? 566 00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,899 It's the 100th woman, Hank! 567 00:26:50,986 --> 00:26:53,394 Un cento, baby. Remember? My quest. 568 00:26:53,572 --> 00:26:56,739 Oh! Wow, yeah. It took you this long to get to 100? 569 00:26:57,868 --> 00:26:59,362 What am I talking about? Of course it did. 570 00:26:59,453 --> 00:27:03,616 I know, right? But I did it. I made myself a promise and I kept it! 571 00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:06,666 My heart and cock swelleth with pride. 572 00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:09,669 Hey! I'm really happy you were here to see me cross the finish line. 573 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:11,000 Me, too. 574 00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:12,663 How was your day, buddy? 575 00:27:12,758 --> 00:27:15,213 Well, it started off all right, and then it got a little weird, 576 00:27:15,302 --> 00:27:17,378 and then it just went all sideways and shitty. 577 00:27:17,513 --> 00:27:19,339 What'd you think of Samurai Apocalypse? 578 00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:22,136 Yeah. Can you give me a ride back to LAX right now? 579 00:27:22,226 --> 00:27:25,345 Oh, come on, come. There's no need to be rash. 580 00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:28,011 Look, you have yourself a drink. Hmm? 581 00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,474 - Chillax, enjoy the view! - Hey, no. No! 582 00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:33,442 That's how it starts, Charlie, stop. 583 00:27:37,991 --> 00:27:39,272 Who this? 584 00:27:40,244 --> 00:27:41,406 Oh. 585 00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:42,735 Who? 586 00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:44,361 Oh. Yeah? 587 00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:46,707 Wait. What? 588 00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:48,870 Say that again. 589 00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:51,670 Wow. Wow. 590 00:27:53,924 --> 00:27:55,003 Whoa. 591 00:27:55,092 --> 00:27:56,752 OK. Um... 592 00:27:58,637 --> 00:28:00,713 Well, thanks for calling. 593 00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:02,390 I guess. 594 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:05,006 Who that? 595 00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:07,344 My neighbour back in New York. 596 00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:09,015 Everything OK? 597 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,976 My apartment's on fire.