1 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,042 Previously on Californication... 2 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,713 You're so beautiful you're almost ugly. 3 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,595 It's off putting. I'm Hank. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,009 It was nice to meet you, Hank. 5 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,221 Bye, Miss never got your name. 6 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,515 But I wanna do my own thing, my own moment. 7 00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:22,806 Santa Monica Cop is my Eddie Murphy moment right now! 8 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,357 Get your sexy ass over here. 9 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,730 Hank Moody, this is my protégé, Kali. 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,443 Better not be hitting on my girl. What's up, man? 11 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,320 You should be at Starbucks writing me some funny shit, man. 12 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,686 I... I don't think I can do it. 13 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:34,480 Keep your paws off her. And your fucking penis. 14 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,280 I'd like to introduce you to Richard Bates. 15 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,451 Haven't touched the stuff 16 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,200 since Slick Willy was in the White House. 17 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,406 Pour me another. 18 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,455 He unveiled his beautiful man-pussy. 19 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,660 How's Becca? 20 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,961 The boyfriend, I wanna kill him, Hank. 21 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,212 Hey, Tyler. 22 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,672 This... This is... This is not what it looks like. 23 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:53,876 This is my sister. 24 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,175 What the fuck was that all about? 25 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,965 Some guy my daughter's seeing. 26 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,759 I think he's gonna break her heart. 27 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,511 Maybe we should break his legs first. 28 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,263 Tyler was leaving some club in Hollywood, 29 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,062 and he got jumped by a bunch of gangbangers. 30 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,911 Wow. 31 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,832 Killing bad guys is your business, and business be fucking crackin', yo. 32 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,581 That's right, motherfucker. 33 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,245 Know who that is? 34 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:34,552 Uh, no, it... It looks kinda like Ryan Seacrest, though. 35 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,593 What the fuck you got against Ryan Seacrest, man? 36 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,385 Nothing in particular. The guy just bugs the shit outta me. 37 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:42,310 Why? This motherfucker, he works hard, make millions of dollars, 38 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,099 and he got a fucking catchphrase, which I don't have, all right? 39 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,647 And you wanna kill him dead? 40 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,309 That's some harsh shit, Moody. 41 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,479 You got too much negative energy in you. 42 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,146 You need to work that shit the fuck out. 43 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,517 Well, excuse me. 44 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,817 No, that's fucking Kali's new boyfriend right there, man. 45 00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,778 Oh, she's got a... A new boyfriend, does she? 46 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,533 I don't know, man, but she moved out of my fucking crib last week, 47 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,032 talking about she ain't comfortable 48 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,748 mixing business and pleasure any more. 49 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,163 What kinda shit is that, man? 50 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,742 Did... Did she say she was seeing someone else? 51 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:09,916 Fuck no. 52 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,832 But I know how that shit goes, man. 53 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,501 I mean, somebody gotta be tapping that ass, 54 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:16,380 cos that ass is too fine not to be tapped. 55 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,928 And that Mr Someone will get his motherfucking dick shot the fuck off. 56 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:24,099 Hey, you know, don't do anything crazy, Sam you am. 57 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:25,634 You know, you're... 58 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,935 You're mere months away from becoming an A-list raptor. 59 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,811 - What the fuck is that? - Rapper turned actor. Get it? 60 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,941 - No, I don't get that. - I like it. 61 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,144 Whatever. 62 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,820 Fucking bitch just drives me crazy, man. 63 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,909 You know what, maybe it's the case of a nigga 64 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,536 who wants some shit he can't have. 65 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,700 True dat. 66 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,621 This nigga has often fell prey to that on some occasions. 67 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,417 I'm sorry. My bad. 68 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,588 I mean, you know, I'm in the wrong there. 69 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,294 What you doing tonight, man? 70 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,498 - Hmm? - What you doing tonight? 71 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,253 - Nothing. - Wrong. 72 00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,590 You're rolling with me on a ride-along. 73 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,138 A ride-along? 74 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,381 Yeah, with the real Santa Monica PD. 75 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,638 I gotta get my fucking cop. 76 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,971 Really wanna be authentic, you know what I mean? 77 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,935 And I need to hit the streets to get the feel for this shit. 78 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,892 And you need to be taking some fucking notes, all right? 79 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,980 So be there or be six feet under, motherfucker. 80 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,244 You gotta go. 81 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,708 Oh, I don't gotta do nothing. 82 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,544 Good god, man, it's a ride-along. 83 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,333 At the absolute worst, it'll be an absolute fucking blast. 84 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,673 Look, sooner or later, this guy's gonna find or figure out 85 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,167 that I'm fucking the object of his gangstery affections 86 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,596 and, when that happens, I'm toast. Bloody, bullet-ridden toast. 87 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:26,797 I still think you should go. 88 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,600 And I think you should be on my side for once. 89 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,259 You should be focused on protecting my ass, not just my career. 90 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,810 Your career is just fine, buddy boy. 91 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:36,816 You are the guy who got Santa Monica Cop a green light. 92 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,978 Wow. There's a dubious honour. 93 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,147 Dubious or not, I got serious interest in you 94 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,817 for a whole bunch of projects. 95 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,659 That's great. Really? 96 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,321 Well, why am I just hearing about it now? 97 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,119 Why just as an aside? What are they? 98 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,986 I don't know. 99 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,743 I got 'em written down on a buck slip somewhere. 100 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,035 Worst agent ever. 101 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,417 I'll tell you what, I will go with you. 102 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,001 Keep you out of harm's way. 103 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:04,049 I will be your human Kevlar. It's no problem, none at all. 104 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,593 That's just the kind of service you get for your 10%. 105 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,721 Bullshit, you just wanna ride in the police car. 106 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,137 Ever since I was a little boy. 107 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,936 You're here, you're queer and I'm used to it. 108 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,726 - But you're not invited. - But I could be, right? 109 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,305 I could tag along 110 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,515 for the ride-along. 111 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,686 I feel like crushing one of your testicles right now. 112 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,151 Does that mean I can go? 113 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,776 Fine, let's go, Powder. 114 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,206 I hope you get killed in the line of duty. 115 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,499 This feels unnatural to me, 116 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,833 voluntarily arriving at a police station. 117 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,335 I like it. Smells like crime, punishment 118 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,506 and the urine of homeless men and women. 119 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,342 Where is that fucking lunatic? 120 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,768 Hands behind your back, motherfucker. 121 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,059 - Cos you under arrest. - What the fuck for? 122 00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,519 For jerking off on the job, Dr Evil! 123 00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,609 What the fuck? 124 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,023 I scared the shit out you. 125 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,945 Hey, hey, do your Runkle imitation for Runkle himself. Check it out. 126 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,568 Huh? 127 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,490 I don't see what's so funny about that. 128 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,912 It's not even realistic. Did you watch the video? 129 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,116 It was more like this. 130 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,753 Whoo! 131 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:22,042 - That's true. - Commando. 132 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,255 Hey, what the fuck he doing here, man? I didn't invite him. 133 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,885 Fucker invited himself. Tell him. 134 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,386 I always wanted to ride in a cop car. 135 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,429 It's a boyhood dream, actually. 136 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,674 Well, keep your mouth shut and your dick in your pants, a'ight? 137 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,096 A'ight. 138 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,019 - A'ight. - A'ight. 139 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,480 Shotgun. 140 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,320 So this is it, boys. 141 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,569 Welcome to the jungle. Take a whiff. 142 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,237 Sorry, that was me. 143 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,198 Hey, look, I'll be honest with you, 144 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,946 there's not a whole lot of glamour to the profession. 145 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,616 Are you kidding? This is fucking awesome. 146 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,035 Can I turn this light on? 147 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,998 - No. - Can I pull someone over? 148 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,243 And stop touching stuff. Come on, man, you're like a big baby. 149 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,997 Hey, that's exactly what I always say. 150 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,662 Any available unit in the vicinity of Pico and 23rd, 151 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,502 possible B&E in progress. 152 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,965 Ain't you gonna get that, man? That shit's close by. 153 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,343 Nah, somebody will get it. 154 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,842 Eventually. 155 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,718 Sounds pretty unpleasant. 156 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,849 Besides, I gotta babysit you bedwetters. 157 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,473 So what's this movie about? 158 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,441 It's about Hollywood's need to recycle 159 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:25,895 even the lamest ideas in an effort to maximise... 160 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,650 Stuff. I don't know. 161 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,151 - I'm out. I got nothing. - Shut the fuck up, Moody. 162 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,357 You're too cynical, man. 163 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,195 You need to look at the world through the eyes of a child 164 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,366 like Runkle here. 165 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,653 Ooh. 166 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,245 Hey, yo. It's about a tough kid who grew up in Compton, 167 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,204 becomes a cop, gets transferred over to Santa Monica 168 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,501 and uses his street smarts to fuck up whitey. 169 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,628 Oh, so it's like Beverly Hills Cop. 170 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,041 - You are correct, sir. - Everybody keeps saying that shit. 171 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,044 Nah, man, it's based in Santa Monica. 172 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,251 Yeah, it's set in Santa Monica. 173 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,300 Hey, hey, hey, Mr Officer, sir, 174 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,348 that guy is clearly texting while driving. 175 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:57,514 Let's get him. 176 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,013 Who gives a fuck? 177 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,729 Who doesn't? I do it all the time. 178 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,056 I'd be a hypocrite if I pulled somebody over for that shit. 179 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,858 You imagine getting pulled over for texting? 180 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,603 Wouldn't that just chap your fucking hide? 181 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,774 Fuck, man. 182 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,523 What's your take on drunk driving, Officer? 183 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,488 Uh, that's a good question, writer. 184 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,491 - Thank you. - That depends really. 185 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,952 Mostly on the cut of their jib. 186 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,706 If the guy's a real d-bag, his ass is mine. 187 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,497 He is going down. 188 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,333 And the same thing for a hot chick. 189 00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,410 - Down on this. - Oh-ho! All right. 190 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,833 Get a load of Bad Lieutenant. 191 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,465 Hey, yo, you ever shoot a motherfucker before? 192 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,212 Just once. 193 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,926 Kind of a sad story, actually. 194 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,217 It was a little kid. I mean, I thought the kid had a piece. 195 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,680 Turns out it was an iPod touch. 196 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,553 Bet he was black. Was he black? 197 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,553 - Was he black? - Of course he was black. 198 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,306 Why do you think I shot first? 199 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,053 This nigga, man. 200 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,558 Cop or no cop, man, he pull this fucking car over, 201 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,276 I'm gonna bitch smack that motherfucker. 202 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,987 Church. 203 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,199 Hey, Runks, get your shit together, man. 204 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,320 Uh, I'm sorry. I was just... I was thinking about little Stewie. 205 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,071 He's always playing with his iPod touch. 206 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,445 He's got this app on it 207 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,785 that makes it sound like a gun, you know? 208 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,203 He used to love to point it at Irma 209 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,700 and... and pretend to shoot her in the head execution style. 210 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,123 - That's adorable. - Jesus. 211 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,289 There but for the grace of God, huh? 212 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,666 I'm just fucking with you morons. 213 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,551 Never pulled my piece out on the job. 214 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,760 Never. Not once. 215 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,680 Too bad the same can't be said for Runks, huh? 216 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:23,975 Don't ask. 217 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,066 Hey, hey, hey, who's hungry? 218 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,659 I can't believe this, we're actually sitting around 219 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,119 watching a cop eat doughnuts. 220 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,781 I know, it's a cliché, 221 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,330 but they're so fucking delicious, you know? 222 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,870 Plus doughnuts got sugar and carbs, 223 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,501 which adds up to a quick burst of energy. 224 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,044 Coffee keeps me awake and alert. 225 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,584 Hot call comes in, I'm fucking ready. 226 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,459 You getting all this, writer? You need me to talk slower? 227 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,594 It's all right up here. 228 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,336 Fill 'er up, Dotty. 229 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,093 This shit is fucking boring, yo. 230 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,593 If I want to sit around and eat doughnuts all night, 231 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,344 I coulda stayed home and smoked some fucking weed, man. 232 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,057 Hey, you wanted to see what a night in the life of a cop is like. 233 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:08,148 This is it. I drive around. I try not to get myself killed. 234 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,103 And I feed the pain that comes from knowing 235 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,519 that I put my life on the line night after fucking night. 236 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,814 That and the pain of dealing with a messy divorce. 237 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,402 Banging a fucking fireman. You believe that shit? 238 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,111 Chick must really have a thing for guys in uniform. 239 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:23,742 Yeah, ever since 9/11, fucking firemen get all the pussy. 240 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,947 Hmm. 241 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,165 Hey, you see that chick right there? 242 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,870 - Total pro. - Wow, how can you tell? 243 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,457 Years of experience, my friend. 244 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,422 Hey, hey, how much you think she charges? 245 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:37,881 Ah, 25 bucks will get you some suction. Gotta wear a rubber though. 246 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,219 50 bucks, she'll let you throw deli meat at her ass. 247 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,469 75, she'll let you tase her. 248 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,476 Why would anybody want to do that? 249 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,640 People are sick, man. 250 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,769 I'm just telling you what's on the menu with these broads. 251 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,564 Hey, Runkle, how much to tase you? 252 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,310 Hey, hey, Mr Samurai, sir, 253 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,524 I've actually been tased, and it is no fun. 254 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,403 - Yeah. No, it is. - No fun at all. 255 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,603 It's fun. 256 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,024 That said, I'd probably do it for a crisp hundy. 257 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,818 - Oh, yeah? All right, I'll throw in. - Each. Each maybe. 258 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,160 - Ah, shit, it's happening. - What's happening? 259 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,911 My heart. Another fucking episode. 260 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,042 - God damn it! - Are you sure? 261 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,003 Yeah, got an intense pain in my chest. 262 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,710 Arms are going all numb. 263 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,665 Something not good is definitely happening 264 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,251 to my body right now. I'm stroking out over here. 265 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,802 You guys are gonna have to drive me to the fucking hospital, OK? 266 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,005 I'm calling my agent, man. 267 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,214 - I'm right here. - My new agent. 268 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:27,227 Now, now, let's not be rash. UTK is a unique agency. 269 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,269 Our ability to package is unparalleled. 270 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,847 Hey, hang on, I'll take care of this, then I'll take care of you. 271 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,685 OK, what, 911 it is. 272 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,814 OK, man down! 273 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,033 God damn. 274 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:44,286 And one minute, you're eating a doughnut, 275 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,114 waxing all poetic. 276 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,831 The next, you're stroking out all over the floor. 277 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,245 That kinda makes you think, huh? 278 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,956 About laying off the doughnuts, sure. 279 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,077 You think he's gonna be OK? 280 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:54,500 I don't know, he seemed pretty tweaked. 281 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:56,499 I do know that he appreciated you holding his hand 282 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:59,509 - the entire time, though, Runks. - Well, what do you think, Sam? 283 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,587 I think we should add a stroke scene to the script, man. 284 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,222 - Stroke scene? - I can pull that shit off no problem. 285 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,476 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. 286 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,313 We best be thinking about getting ourselves a cab, huh? 287 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,099 Oh, wait a minute, maybe one of your crew guys 288 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:13,270 - can come pick us up? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 289 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,983 Call the midget. I love that little dude. 290 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,397 That little nappyheaded nigga, man. 291 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,815 Yeah, Mr Lowercase T. 292 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,315 Nah, man. 293 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,409 Oh, no, no, no. I don't think that's a very good idea, Sam. 294 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,450 No, we could really get in a lot of trouble. 295 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,493 For what? Just gonna take it back to the police station. 296 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,415 Charlie, it's the right thing to do. The moral thing, the polite thing. 297 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,907 I just don't wanna get in any trouble. 298 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,244 What's up, Adam-12? I thought it was your boyhood fucking dream 299 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,417 to ride in a police car. 300 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,415 And I have fulfilled that dream. 301 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,919 Now it's time we should all go home and reflect. 302 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,255 - Shotgun! - Hey, hey, guys, where you going? 303 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,766 You're just gonna leave me here, is that it? 304 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,638 Yep, it looks like you're just gonna leave without me. 305 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:54,102 OK, OK, I'm coming. Can I drive? 306 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,532 Could have at least let me sit in the front. 307 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,816 I called shotgun. 308 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,370 There's nothing to do back here. 309 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,617 Shut the fuck up, Runkle. 310 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,248 You're like a small child back there, man. 311 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,743 And it's pissing me the fuck off. 312 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:13,991 Boring. 313 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,494 This motherfucker driving all fucking slow. 314 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:17,703 Watch this, watch this. 315 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,760 Pow, motherfucker! 316 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:29,804 Excuse me, but I really think we're playing with fire here now, Sam. 317 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,056 I don't know if you're aware, 318 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:35,094 but, but, but Hank has only recently finished his probation, so... 319 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,649 For what, being a fucking rapist? 320 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,687 Hey, stop it with all that rapist shit, OK? 321 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:41,023 I'm sensitive about that. 322 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,271 Oh, come on, man, I say that shit with love, man. 323 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:47,030 That's what I like about you, man. You're an outlaw, man. Truth. 324 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,484 - Bong, bong. - Bong, bong. 325 00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:51,698 I prefer raper to rapist. 326 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,665 Oh, shit. Grab the wheel for me. 327 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:55,872 Oh! 328 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,618 - Yeah. - Yeah. 329 00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,789 You probably want to put that on speaker. 330 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,049 - Yo, what up, man? - Fine, have it your way. 331 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,258 What? No, I signed for nothin'. 332 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,552 Fuck that. I'll be right there. 333 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,095 - Be right where? - My boy saw Kali up in the club 334 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:12,176 getting cosy with some clownass nigga, man. 335 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,427 Well, we're going back to the police station first, right? 336 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,143 - You're gonna drop us off. - Something tells me no. 337 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,401 Fuck that, you gotta strike when the iron fist is hot. 338 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,811 Yeah, but what if something bad goes down? 339 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,696 You don't want any witnesses around, do you? 340 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,192 No, I do want witnesses, man. 341 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,658 Especially some white motherfuckers, man. 342 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:30,198 - Oh, why, cos we're white? - Yeah, cos you white, motherfucker. 343 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,662 Cops believe white motherfuckers. 344 00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:33,989 You got my back, right? Y'all got my back, right? 345 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,537 You'd lie for me, right? 346 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,912 Not if it's against the law. 347 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,705 You lie for a living, motherfucker. 348 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,079 Man's got a point. 349 00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:14,696 Officer, I think someone's following me. 350 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,328 Feel like I'm in danger. 351 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,959 Get the fuck outta here, streetwalker. 352 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,665 Can't you see we're working, man? We on a stakeout. 353 00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:23,411 No, that's not nice. The lady says she's in danger. 354 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,298 You just want a free hummer, don't you? 355 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,592 Come on inside here, sweetheart. 356 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,710 That's the way you treat a lady. 357 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:33,344 Thank you. Ooh, my dogs are barking. 358 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,678 Aw. 359 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,883 How's business tonight? 360 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,851 It's a little slow, actually. 361 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,933 There she is. 362 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,648 All right, all right, what do you say we just... 363 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,308 We, we leave the car out of this and we proceed on foot. 364 00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:47,977 Stop worrying about the goddamn car, you fucking ninny. 365 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,575 Can I do it? 366 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,081 Fuck yeah, go for it. 367 00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:04,547 How come he gets to do it? 368 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,256 Cos I like him better, man. 369 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:10,709 That's right, we're pulling you over, motherfucker! 370 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:11,967 Pull over to the right. 371 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,640 What are you, stupid? Your other right, jackass. 372 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:16,840 There you go. 373 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,774 So what's the move here, good cop, bad cop, bald cop? 374 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,990 No, how 'bout bad cop, bad cop, 375 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,200 bald cop stays in the fucking car? 376 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,991 Works for me. 377 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,165 That was sweet of you to let me in. 378 00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:50,676 Give me shelter from the storm. 379 00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:52,255 It's nothing. 380 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,888 Who likes to see a lady in danger? 381 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,595 Not this cop. 382 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,177 Lieutenant Charles W. Runkle. 383 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,469 Nice to meet you. 384 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,557 Nice to meet you too, Officer. 385 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,937 - So you a detective? - Mmm-hmm. Yep. 386 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,149 I like to take a couple of the rookies out on a 587 now and again, 387 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,984 make sure they know their shit. 388 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,364 It's just good old-fashioned police work. 389 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,742 Well, how 'bout a good old-fashioned blowjob? 390 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:20,738 This one's on me, 391 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:24,664 cos you're an officer and a gentleman. 392 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:30,587 Ohh! 393 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,261 Out of the car, ma'am. 394 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,341 Hank. 395 00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:38,548 Licence and registration, motherfucker. 396 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,674 Come on, look alive. 397 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,426 What the fuck? 398 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,431 He's really pissed. He misses you. 399 00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:46,100 You know, this is why I moved out of his place, 400 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,306 because he is a fucking psycho. 401 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:48,515 Yeah, but we got to talk about this, 402 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,567 cos sooner or later he's gonna find out about us. 403 00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:52,362 How? I'm not gonna tell him. 404 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,274 - Are you gonna tell him? - No fucking way. 405 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:55,825 So we don't have a problem. 406 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,072 Yeah. 407 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,987 Now I know where the fuck you live at. 408 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,324 Get out the car. 409 00:18:00,539 --> 00:18:02,199 He's really kind of sweet, in a way. 410 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,741 Hank, I know you think he's all warm and cuddly. 411 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:05,949 Oh, no, I don't. 412 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,325 I'm just saying to watch yourself. 413 00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:08,832 I am watching myself. 414 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:12,374 I try to get out, but he pulls me back in with the money. 415 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,137 And, uh, the money. 416 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,379 And, and... Oh, the exceptional weed. 417 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,390 And, wow, you look really hot tonight. 418 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,848 You know, I'm thinking maybe I should handcuff you 419 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,596 just to be safe. 420 00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,230 What was I doing wrong, Officer? 421 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:28,561 You tell me. 422 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,061 Turn around. 423 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,230 - You been drinking? - No, sir, not at all. 424 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:39,110 Not at all? Bullshit. You was at the club, wasn't you? 425 00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,362 Step over there. 426 00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,041 Something smell funky to me, nigga. 427 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,617 Smell like pussy. You been drinking pussy? 428 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,372 - No. - No what? 429 00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:53,043 No, I haven't been drinking pussy, Officer. 430 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,960 What, this girl pussy ain't good enough for you to drink? 431 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,175 I'm sure she got a very drinkable pussy. 432 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,048 We just haven't gotten there yet. 433 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,599 You think you gonna get there? 434 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,641 I think I can close this, yeah. 435 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,930 Think you can close this. What if she's somebody else's girl? 436 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:10,897 Well, then I say that that someone else in question 437 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,060 isn't doing a good job making her happy. 438 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,148 Is that what you say, nigga? 439 00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,491 - Calvin, what the fuck are you doing? - What are you, crazy? 440 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:21,988 This motherfucker disrespecting both of us. 441 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,237 - Wait, you know this guy? - You want me to call 911? 442 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,790 So that you can deal with the real cops? 443 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,330 Fuck that. Look, I want you to come home with me, a'ight? 444 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,498 Forget all this bullshit. 445 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,291 - Fuck you. - Wait a second, you ain't a real cop? 446 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:33,953 Shit, you could have fooled me. 447 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,627 I'm gonna take that as a compliment, motherfucker. 448 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,793 I ain't gonna apologise for fucking your legs up. 449 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,001 I know where the fuck you live. 450 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:40,376 Keep your hands off my bitch. 451 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,677 Wait a second. Does that mean you're Samurai Apocalypse? 452 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,219 - Oh, shit. - Oh, shit. 453 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:47,681 Oh, shit! 454 00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:50,685 God, you give an exceptional blowjob. 455 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,938 I mean, seriously. 456 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,943 Something to be said for putting in the time. 457 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:03,529 Have you read Outliers? Malcolm Gladwell. 458 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,989 He claims that the secret to success in any field 459 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,743 is a simple matter 460 00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:15,838 of practising a specific task for, mmm, about 10,000 hours. 461 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:27,680 What, you wanna suck my dick now? 462 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,849 What? 463 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,598 You want me to take mine out? 464 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,481 Want me to put it in your mouth? 465 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,192 Your dick? 466 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,125 Buck up, buddy boy. 467 00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,254 It doesn't matter. You didn't know. 468 00:20:58,342 --> 00:20:59,800 It... It doesn't count. 469 00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,876 - Did you know? - Of course. Didn't you know? 470 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,297 Fuck yeah, Hank. See the size of that Adam's apple? 471 00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,136 Shit, do I look ignorant to you? 472 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,095 No, no, you look like a guy 473 00:21:10,187 --> 00:21:12,974 who could spot a tranny hooker from a mile away. Respect. 474 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:14,974 Motherfucking right, man. 475 00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:17,818 Shit, this bitch Kali got my fucking heart on fire, man. 476 00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,812 Yeah, I know how that feels, brother. 477 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:22,610 - But you know what Sting says. - What does Sting say? 478 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,739 He says that if you love somebody, 479 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,155 you set them free. 480 00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:28,494 - Sting says that? - Yep, he sure does. 481 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:30,407 - You're fucking with me, man. - No, he says that. 482 00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,076 He sings about it in a Sting song. 483 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,827 That saying been around since the Stone Ages. 484 00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:37,039 Yeah, well, Sting's the one who wrote a song about it. 485 00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,206 - You think I'm dumb don't you, Moody? - No, I don't. 486 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,710 Then why are you always fucking condescending to me? 487 00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:43,292 I'm not condescending to you. I'm relating, you know. 488 00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:44,964 You know I got a fucking broken heart right now, right? 489 00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:46,336 I do know that. Yes, I know. 490 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,175 Fucking Jersey Shore ass nigga, man, 491 00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:50,888 sticking his pencil dick in my sweet pound cake. 492 00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:53,266 Yeah, I relate. You know, right now, the love of my life 493 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,644 is getting pounded by some omnisexual chicken hawk. 494 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,013 Doesn't feel good. 495 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,389 Nah. 496 00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:01,314 It could be worse. 497 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,685 Yeah, how? 498 00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,278 Coulda just had your dick drained by a tranny hooker. 499 00:22:06,869 --> 00:22:07,948 True dat. 500 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:11,286 It's not funny! Why are you laughing? 501 00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,748 Oh, man. 502 00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:19,918 Oh. 503 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:22,916 Becca, hey, sweetie. I thought you weren't talking to me. 504 00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:26,466 Wait, hold up. 505 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,263 Slow down, slow down, slow down. 506 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,807 It's back? 507 00:22:29,892 --> 00:22:31,683 OK, I gotta see this. We'll be there. 508 00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:34,684 - What's up? - Somewhere we gotta go. 509 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,560 Let's go deep. 510 00:22:45,741 --> 00:22:47,283 You OK, baby? What happened? 511 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,447 See for yourself. 512 00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:49,911 It was amazing, Hank. 513 00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:51,904 It's the coolest thing that I've ever seen. 514 00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:55,666 What? It was, I'm sorry. 515 00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:00,201 - Richard. - Peek-a-boo and fine wine. 516 00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:04,088 - Come on up, honey. - Come, get down now. 517 00:23:04,176 --> 00:23:05,290 I can't remember the song. 518 00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:06,796 - Karen. - Jesus. 519 00:23:06,887 --> 00:23:08,167 What the fuck are you doing here? 520 00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:09,544 It's a long story and, ultimately, 521 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,134 not as interesting as what's happening here. 522 00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:12,933 What happened? 523 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,181 Tyler switched drinks, 524 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:15,645 thought it would be funny to watch him get drunk. 525 00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:17,520 Jesus, that kid really is a young me. 526 00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,138 Hey, Batesy! 527 00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:21,391 Hank, god damn it! It's great to see you! 528 00:23:21,485 --> 00:23:22,730 I'm so glad you could make it. 529 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,357 Good to see you too, man. Loving that mangina. 530 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,321 Thank you. It is fucking liberating. 531 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,530 Hey, you wanna come down and put some clothes on 532 00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:30,733 before the law gets here? 533 00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,654 No, no, nonsense. I'm tucked. 534 00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:34,027 You know, I was just telling Karen 535 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,495 I used to fuck guys like Tyler back in prison. 536 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,706 Did I ever tell you about the year I spent behind bars? 537 00:23:38,794 --> 00:23:40,585 - No. - Yeah, I was researching a novel 538 00:23:40,671 --> 00:23:43,707 about prison life, so I knocked over a little liquor store. 539 00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:45,792 The research was great, 540 00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:47,592 but there was an unexpected gift. 541 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,422 I fell in love there, Hank. 542 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,004 - Twice. Two very different men. - Mmm-hmm. 543 00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,225 And we still keep in touch. 544 00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,473 I gotta tell you, men in prison make exceptional pen pals. 545 00:23:57,563 --> 00:23:59,769 Letters like fucking short stories. 546 00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:01,434 You remember your first short story, Hank? 547 00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:02,770 - Yeah. - Finishing mine 548 00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:05,018 gave me a thunderous erection. 549 00:24:05,112 --> 00:24:06,440 You remember your first erection? 550 00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:07,941 Yeah, I had a big crush 551 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,775 on the blonde from The Beverly Hillbillies. 552 00:24:09,867 --> 00:24:11,195 Elly May Clampett. 553 00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:14,120 Spilt a lot of boy milk to that foxy little tramp. 554 00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:16,284 Yeah. 555 00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:17,701 You know, thanks to that fine memory, 556 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,618 the blood is starting to flow down south. 557 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:22,082 This could be pretty hard to tuck in a minute. 558 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:24,247 - I hear you. - I'm going for a run. 559 00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:26,332 Give me a hug. There you go, show me love. 560 00:24:27,176 --> 00:24:28,290 There you go. 561 00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:29,832 I love you, babe. 562 00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:31,590 Don't wait up. 563 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,258 Hey, hey, hey. 564 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,300 You want me to go after him? 565 00:24:35,392 --> 00:24:37,717 No, I don't. Just let him run it off. 566 00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:40,646 - Hey, Tyler, not cool. - I'm speechless. 567 00:24:40,731 --> 00:24:42,640 - Not cool. - I am speechless. 568 00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:44,393 - Not cool at all. - I know, I know. 569 00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:45,765 OK, I'm sorry, all right? 570 00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:47,141 - I feel bad, I do, OK? - Yeah. 571 00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:48,518 But, look, Becca told me all these stories 572 00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:51,187 about how crazy he gets when he drinks. 573 00:24:51,283 --> 00:24:52,528 And, look, it was just... It was too tempting. 574 00:24:52,618 --> 00:24:55,322 All right, much as I hate to say it, I understand, but... 575 00:24:55,412 --> 00:24:56,990 Besides, he was being a total dick. 576 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,705 It's like he was standing in for you tonight. 577 00:24:58,790 --> 00:24:59,989 Literally giving me a hard time 578 00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:02,242 about every single word that was coming out of my mouth. 579 00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:05,539 Shit just gets tiring, you know, and I just hit my limit. 580 00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:07,673 Yo, an order of aji, yo, man. 581 00:25:07,758 --> 00:25:09,133 Is he with you by any chance? 582 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:10,628 - Who, that? - Yeah. 583 00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,379 - That woman? - No, him. 584 00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:14,095 Oh, him? Officer Dolemite over there? 585 00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:16,008 No, I've never seen him before in my life. 586 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:17,891 Yeah? Cos I'm pretty sure he was there 587 00:25:17,976 --> 00:25:19,056 the night I got my ass kicked. 588 00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:20,722 Really? That would be quite a coinkydink. 589 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,141 You sure you're not just being racist? 590 00:25:22,231 --> 00:25:23,891 - You gotta check that shit. - Yo, Moody. 591 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,939 You seen that fucking naked guy run outta here? 592 00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:28,184 Fucking dick swinging, some real white boy shit, yo. 593 00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:29,476 Crazy. 594 00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:32,274 Hey, yo. Yo, ain't this the little Romeo 595 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:33,990 we had to smack down at the club the other night? 596 00:25:34,076 --> 00:25:36,033 Yes, yes, it is. Good to see you. 597 00:25:36,203 --> 00:25:38,077 Good to see you, too. You're healing real good, son. 598 00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:39,492 Thanks. 599 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:41,824 Dad, what did you do? 600 00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:44,490 Nothing. I did... I did nothing. 601 00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,330 - Will you tell them? - Will you answer her? 602 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:47,666 - Tell 'em. - Tell 'em what? 603 00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:50,543 That I... That I didn't do anything of that nature. 604 00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:51,797 No, he ain't do anything though, 605 00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,961 but I knew it was important to him, so I took care of it. 606 00:25:54,054 --> 00:25:55,762 That's what we do for each other. 607 00:25:55,848 --> 00:25:57,306 I'd be happy to do it again, if necessary. 608 00:25:57,391 --> 00:25:59,015 It's not necessary. 609 00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:00,512 Let's go. 610 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,559 They make a cute couple, man. 611 00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:06,605 I don't see why you getting so fucking bent up about it. 612 00:26:06,692 --> 00:26:08,150 Thanks. That was very helpful. 613 00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:09,433 Cool, let's get some sake. 614 00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:11,779 Unfiltered sake, Nigori. 615 00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:18,737 I wanna see some new pages tomorrow, Moody. 616 00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:21,489 What exactly have we learned tonight? 617 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:25,124 Our boy Runkle learned what it's like to cum in a tranny hooker's mouth. 618 00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:28,164 Thank you, Sam. Thank you so much. 619 00:26:28,589 --> 00:26:30,297 I'd almost managed to stop thinking about it 620 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:31,841 for five whole seconds there. 621 00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:34,092 Gargle, gargle, yo. 622 00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,757 Holy shit, yo. Check that out. 623 00:26:39,141 --> 00:26:40,552 What the fuck? 624 00:26:47,941 --> 00:26:49,270 - Batesy! - Hey! 625 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,688 Hey, want a ride? 626 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:52,236 Oh, I don't mind if I do. 627 00:26:52,321 --> 00:26:53,601 Well, get on in. 628 00:26:56,617 --> 00:26:59,024 Thanks, boys. Who's up for a cocktail? 629 00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:06,619 Oh, fuck.