1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:10,302
- What a great day. Hey, Cliff.
- Hey, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.

2
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,142
- You got something funny, Coach?
- Yeah, Sam.

3
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:20,145
This salesman came by this morning
with these new napkins.

4
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,481
Read that one. It's terrific.

5
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,651
- This isn't funny.
- Well, no, that's not the funniest, no.

6
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,778
Read some of the others.

7
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,696
- What others?
- Oh, here.

8
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,200
I bought 30 gross. Take your pick.

9
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:37,621
Thirty gross of two hunters saying,
"Did I hear a buck snort?"

10
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,039
No, no.

11
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:42,209
They're all different, Sam.

12
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,756
Well, I'll be darned.

13
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,927
That salesman.

14
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,641
But two bucks snorting
is funny every time.

15
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,436
You should've asked me
before you did this, Coach.

16
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,729
Gee, I'm sorry, Sam.

17
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,815
I was sure you were
gonna love them.

18
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,025
These things are a real
conversation starter.

19
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,528
No, Coach, this is not
a conversation starter.

20
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,281
- Did you see these awful napkins?
- Yeah, they stink.

21
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,866
See what I mean?
The place is abuzz.

22
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,699
<i>Well, folks,
the Sox need a rally here,</i>

23
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,243
<i>as they bat with two outs
in the bottom of the ninth inning.</i>

24
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,789
<i>The Yanks may have it sewed up,
though, as they lead 5 to nothing.</i>

25
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,626
Here's your drinks.
Go, Red Sox!

26
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,796
Miss, which drink is which here?

27
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:55,050
What does this look like,
the Pepsi Challenge?

28
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,594
Sam, Carla's getting
her drink orders mixed up

29
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,763
because she's watching
that silly game.

30
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,057
Snitch face.

31
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,228
You know, if you tried that
at St. Clete's School for Girls,

32
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,648
we'd have given you a pink belly
that glowed in the dark.

33
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,318
I'd kind of like to see that.

34
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,031
- Afternoon, everybody.
- Hey, Norm!

35
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,992
- Norman.
- How you doing, Norm?

36
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,869
Cut the small talk
and give me a beer.

37
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,875
- So, Norm, how come you're late?
- Boss kept me after.

38
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,837
- Got chewed out a little bit.
- Yeah, what for?

39
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,132
I don't know.
Guess he doesn't have a dog.

40
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,593
All right. Hey, our prayers
are answered, Normie, babe.

41
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,888
- Yastrzemski's up with a man on.
- Yeah, it's the fountain of youth.

42
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,223
- Yeah.
- Come on, now.

43
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,017
Now we're gonna get something going.
All right, come on, now.

44
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,020
You and me, babe. You and me, Yaz.
Come on. My hero.

45
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,106
Popped it up.

46
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,901
- Sox lose again.
- You old fossil.

47
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,486
That's it. That does it.

48
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,488
May I have your attention, please,
everyone.

49
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,657
I have an announcement to make.

50
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:06,538
As of right now, Carla Tortelli
is no longer a Red Sox fan.

51
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,210
No, no, really! I mean it this time.

52
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,840
Now, stop that, okay.

53
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,260
Have I said that before?

54
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,180
Give everybody a drink on me, Sam.

55
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,894
- What's the occasion, Fred?
- My sister Louise died.

56
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,525
Congratulations, Freddie.
Just in the nick of time, huh?

57
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,861
Oh, yeah, I was getting pretty low
on funds.

58
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,238
What's going on?

59
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:44,284
Well, Fred here is the youngest
of 12 brothers and sisters

60
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,911
of a very wealthy family.

61
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,662
And I never cared for any of them.

62
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:52,209
Every time one of them dies,
Fred here inherits all their money.

63
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,628
I think that's ghoulish.

64
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,339
Yeah, so did we
the first six or seven times.

65
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,011
Remember the night two of them
drove off the cliff in the fog?

66
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,555
Talk about a party.

67
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,474
Okay, how we doing here? Cliff.

68
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,101
Yeah, another one, Sam,
but hold the napkin, huh?

69
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,274
Hey, what do we have here,
a Red Sox bar?

70
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:20,737
Sorry about that, fans.
Another tough one in the loss column.

71
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,989
Boohoo.

72
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,991
We're closed.

73
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:30,205
I just came from a classic massacre
of Boston by the Yankees.

74
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,999
Tonight on the news
you can watch the low lights.

75
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,881
You know, I can't see why you people
are such bad losers.

76
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,509
You've had so much experience.

77
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,887
Who do you like, the Yankees?

78
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,473
Another swift Bostonian.

79
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,934
Yeah, I'm a Yankee fan.

80
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,728
Back in the real city,
they call me Big Eddie.

81
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,313
Pig Eddie?

82
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,318
Hey, pal, you made awfully good time
getting over here from Fenway.

83
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,113
I still hear the TV tubes cooling.

84
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:07,534
Oh, I left right after the Red Sox fans
had their seventh-inning wretch.

85
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,582
- Can I help you?
- Yeah. Give me a draft.

86
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,256
You know, Big Ed,
the Sox are doing okay.

87
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:24,551
Yeah? Since 1918,

88
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:28,638
the Yankees have won
23 world championships.

89
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,474
And the Sox, zip.

90
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,812
Wanna talk about major poets
from New England

91
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,480
as opposed to New York?

92
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:41,109
Wanna talk about Nobel Prize winners
in medicine?

93
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,777
No!

94
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,407
Philistines.

95
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,284
Fred, another round for everybody?

96
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,913
No, Louise didn't have
that much money. But I'll be back.

97
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,916
My 90-year-old brother Bob
is hooked up to so many wires

98
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,876
you can get the Super station on him.

99
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,380
- See you.
- So long, Freddie.

100
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,342
Hey, tell him we'll be thinking of him
during the next electrical storm.

101
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,137
- Bye.
- Good night, Fred.

102
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,017
- You homesick for the Bronx?
- Yeah.

103
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,894
Here.

104
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,482
You'll have to forgive Carla.

105
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,693
She gets a little overemotional
at times.

106
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:27,656
But please bear in mind,
you are in an alien camp.

107
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:31,201
Tact is perhaps
your wisest recourse.

108
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,536
What'd you get, a vocabulary
for Christmas?

109
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,375
How would you like to take
a flying leap up a knuckle sandwich?

110
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,587
Well, you gather my inference.

111
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,799
Hey, come on, everybody,
take it easy.

112
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,635
We're trying to run
a nice, friendly bar here.

113
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,929
Come on, everybody
sit back and relax.

114
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,181
Read a napkin.

115
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,811
Great shot, kid.

116
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,355
Well, you must admit,
the man's a jackal.

117
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,191
Hey, hey.

118
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,443
I know you.

119
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,405
- What's your name?
- Sam Malone.

120
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,199
- Yeah, that's it.
- Yeah, I usually get it right.

121
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:17,330
Hey, you used to be a relief pitcher
for the Boston Red Sox, huh?

122
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,416
- That's right.
- Hey, you didn't stink.

123
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:21,626
Thanks.

124
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,796
As I recall, you had
a darned good hard slider.

125
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,257
And here you are, schlepping drinks.

126
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,676
The great Sam "Maybe" Malone.

127
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,220
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That is "Mayday."

128
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,640
- Let me buy you a drink, Sam.
- No, thanks.

129
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,892
Come on. I didn't mean all that stuff
about your ball club.

130
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,811
- Come on. Have a drink with me.
- No, I don't drink.

131
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,105
A baseball player that don't drink?

132
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,399
He doesn't drink anymore. That's it.

133
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:49,654
Oh, that's-- That's what happened.
And I thought you just lost it.

134
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:50,947
Hey, hey.

135
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,200
He licked his booze problem
three years ago.

136
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,537
Hey, what was it like pitching
to two guys at the same time?

137
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:04,502
Better yet, what was it like coming in
with bases loaded, and so were you?

138
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:21,978
- Easy. I got her, I got her.
- It's okay, everybody, I'm fine.

139
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:26,232
Sammy, you get a minute, you wanna
put a head on this here, bud?

140
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,861
You all right?

141
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,364
Yeah, I think I better
get this looked at.

142
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,868
Here's a doctor.
Lives right near here.

143
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:40,455
No, I was thinking something
more on the lines of an attorney.

144
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,875
- Oh, here's a guy. He's excellent.
- Coach.

145
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,837
No, thanks. I got my own,
and he's damn good.

146
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,465
Listen, Sam,
you're legally responsible

147
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,510
for the actions of your employees.
You know that, don't you?

148
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,304
She got carried away.
It was a stupid mistake. I'm sorry.

149
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,766
Mistake? That was an assault,
in front of witnesses.

150
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,936
Hey, I didn't see anything.
I still don't.

151
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,690
Hey, listen, Sam, I ain't got nothing
against you. You run a clean bar.

152
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,652
Fire her, and I'll forget
the whole thing.

153
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,530
Come on, come on. Look, there must
be some other way we can settle this.

154
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,824
Yeah? What do you suggest?

155
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,994
Well, I certainly think an apology's
in order, don't you, Carla?

156
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,871
Hey, I'm willing to listen.

157
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:29,129
Listen, Sam, you fire her,
or I'm gonna take everything you got.

158
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,761
Well, that's it. Happy hour is over.

159
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,897
Carla, what you did
was reprehensible.

160
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,191
You do what you can.

161
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:54,696
- Talk to your lawyer, Sam?
- Yeah, I finally got through to him.

162
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,364
- So, what'd he say?
- Well--

163
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,533
If he's worth a dime, he said
by statute and precedence

164
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,827
this would be considered a tort.

165
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,164
And there is, therefore, substantial
grounds for cause of action.

166
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,210
How'd you know that?

167
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,547
Well, I picked it up in pre-law.

168
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,966
I thought you were an English major.

169
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,845
Well, that was after art
and before psychology.

170
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,601
Is there anything you weren't
in college?

171
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,519
Blonde.

172
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,942
Check the yearbook, Carla.
Check the yearbook.

173
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,486
- Don't. Just stop.
- Sam.

174
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,534
Look, I'm sorry I got you in trouble.

175
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,411
I promise, it won't happen again.

176
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,998
How--? How am I supposed
to believe that, Carla?

177
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,125
I mean, you've flown off the handle
too often.

178
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,251
When?

179
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:55,590
You don't remember throwing a man's
change at him from across the bar?

180
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,133
The correct change.

181
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:04,682
Carla, Carl--
Look, you have a history of being...

182
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:08,645
- Abusive with customers.
- I'll handle this.

183
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:15,193
A history of being
abusive with customers.

184
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,529
Sam, he was insulting you.

185
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,449
You're so stupid, you don't even know
when you're being insulted?

186
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,451
Carla, I appreciate you
defending my honor,

187
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:26,454
but I used to be a baseball player.
I'm used to people riding me.

188
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:30,500
I mean, in Yankee Stadium,
I had to face 50,000 Eddies.

189
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:34,045
I can defend myself without
having to call in Spider-Lady.

190
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,549
Yeah, I did make a couple
of nice moves, didn't I?

191
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,094
- Like when I swung--
- Carla, Carla, sit down.

192
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,387
Look...

193
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,684
I'm your friend, and I like you.

194
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,520
But I'm also a businessman,
and as a businessman,

195
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,355
I don't like what you did tonight.

196
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,941
Look, you know,
I could get tough with you.

197
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,528
I mean, my lawyer wants me to do
exactly what Eddie asked.

198
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,571
Fire me?

199
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,828
Come on. That's crazy.

200
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,121
Carla...

201
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,498
...I could lose the bar.

202
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,668
Sam, you can't fire me.

203
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,587
I need this job.

204
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,006
Think of my kids.

205
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,759
If I didn't have this job,
I'd have to stay home with them.

206
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,392
Hey, Sam, you're not actually
thinking about it, are you?

207
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,602
Sam, this is Carla
we're talking about.

208
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,646
I know it's Carla
we're talking about, Coach.

209
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,023
Excuse me.

210
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,027
- May I make a suggestion?
- Sure, honey, go ahead. What?

211
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:43,281
Well, I have a very close friend
who is a clinical psychologist.

212
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,450
- That could work.
- What could work?

213
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,705
Well, I don't know, Sam.
Give the kid a chance to talk.

214
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,417
This friend mentioned to me
one time

215
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:58,338
that he has a therapy group
for people who...

216
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,757
I hope you'll forgive me, Carla.

217
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,675
For people who can't control
their tempers.

218
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,761
You think I'm wacko.

219
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,305
Nobody used the word wacko.

220
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:11,017
Now, you don't have to be wacko
to see a psychologist.

221
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:15,229
Perfectly normal, happy people
consult psychologists.

222
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,524
In fact, get ready to laugh,

223
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,569
I have consulted him
professionally myself.

224
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,618
Are you one of his better jobs?

225
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,664
I'm trying to help you.

226
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,209
Carla, look, this might
do you a lot of good.

227
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,461
Now you think I'm crazy.

228
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,506
I think you're a person
who's got a lot of anger inside her.

229
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,257
Yeah? Well, stick it.

230
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,762
Come on, would you?

231
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,973
Look, Sam, I grew up on Federal Hill.

232
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,267
I had six older brothers and sisters.

233
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,981
I mean, I worked all my life
to get this mean.

234
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,652
Now you're telling me
I have to learn nice?

235
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,154
Carla, I'm giving you
one more chance. Take it.

236
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:11,828
Okay.

237
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,705
Look, if I go see whitey's shrink...

238
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,167
...will you let me stay on?

239
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,504
Show me you're serious,
get some help,

240
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,964
and, yeah, I'll keep you on.

241
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,590
Thanks, Sam.

242
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,679
- Come on. Let's go home.
- Oh, this is great.

243
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:34,058
I mean, just great. A minute ago,
everything seemed so hopeless.

244
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,436
I thought we were gonna lose
Carla forever.

245
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,022
And all of a sudden, it's all
turned around. I feel wonderful.

246
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,984
All we have to worry about now
is Eddie taking my bar away.

247
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,360
That didn't last long.

248
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,406
Oh, I'm sorry. Pre-law...

249
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,284
...was after literature
and before psychol--

250
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,910
No, wait, I'm wrong again.

251
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,079
Indian studies totally slipped
my mind.

252
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,165
How could I forget that?
It changed my life.

253
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,592
All right, fine, Eddie, yeah.
See you in 15 minutes.

254
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,388
- So Ed's coming over?
- Yeah, he's on his way.

255
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,557
When was the last time
he was here, Sam?

256
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,975
Three weeks.

257
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,519
Oh, gee, then he's seen
the napkins, huh?

258
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,815
Ed?

259
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,110
You don't mean that swineherd Ed
that's suing you?

260
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,737
Yeah, that's the one.

261
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,742
Oh, I see what you're doing.

262
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,995
You're taking advantage of the fact
that it's Carla's day off

263
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:41,250
to bring Ed in and fool him
into thinking that you fired Carla.

264
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,877
It's a crass ploy.

265
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,380
I'm gonna tell him that Carla's
in therapy

266
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,549
and ask him to understand.

267
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,551
My way's better.

268
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:56,307
Hey, that Ed guy
is not my favorite person.

269
00:16:56,516 --> 00:17:00,645
I think he's a big pansy making
a big fuss over some intense pain.

270
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,980
How many times
did you play hurt, Sam?

271
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,651
- Now and then.
- I must have got hit by 100 fastballs.

272
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:09,779
As a matter of fact,
it became a specialty of mine.

273
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,406
Wait, you specialized in getting hit?

274
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,783
- Yeah.
- He led the league

275
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:16,494
in HBPs two years in a row.

276
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,120
"Hit by pitches."

277
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,331
See, I perfected it when I was down

278
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,542
with the St. Louis Browns
organization, Diane.

279
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,253
I could get to first base
on any pitch.

280
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,047
I mean, what I'd do was,
I'd get up there

281
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,466
and lean my body
into the pitch, right?

282
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,469
Well, sometimes I took one
right in the old melon.

283
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:37,056
But I really made a science out of it.

284
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,933
I became a master.

285
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,643
Well, here, try to miss me.

286
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:47,108
Diane, stand right there.
Now, I got the batter's box

287
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,028
marked off back there
at exactly 60 feet 6 inches.

288
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,614
You ready? Okay, here we go.

289
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,451
- Has he done this before?
- Lots.

290
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,205
You know, Diane,
back in those days,

291
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,457
we didn't wear
batting helmets either.

292
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,419
Sam, this is ridiculous.

293
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,422
He gonna stay back there all night
unless you throw the ball.

294
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:13,593
- Okay, honey, I'm ready. Let her rip!
- Come on, baby!

295
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,469
All right, all right.

296
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,097
I'm not gonna get it
anywhere near him.

297
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,640
That's the whole point.

298
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,067
I'm on my way to first.

299
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,487
Way to hum, girl.
Right in the old honeydew.

300
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:38,159
I really had to dive for that one.
But I still got the old touch.

301
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,369
Hey, hi, everybody.

302
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,623
Carla, hi.

303
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,875
It's Carla, Sam.
And Ed's on his way over.

304
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,376
Thanks for reminding me.

305
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,087
Carla.

306
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,381
What the hell are you doing here
on your day off?

307
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,800
I brought my shrink by
to meet you all.

308
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,094
He wanted to put the names
with the faces.

309
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,930
Dr. Graham, this is my boss, Sam.

310
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,390
- How do you do?
- Hi. How you doing?

311
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,352
And this is Coach Pantusso.

312
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,396
Hello, Doc. So you're
a psychologist, huh?

313
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,607
You know, our jobs are a lot alike.

314
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,193
You mean, because we both listen
to people's problems all day?

315
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,695
Well, there's that too.

316
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,576
Thank you. It's really nice
to meet you, doctor.

317
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,829
- Hello, doctor.
- Well, hello, Diane. How are you?

318
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,331
In what sense?

319
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,961
- Pardon me?
- Oh, you mean, "How are you?"

320
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,964
Right? Not, you know,
"How are you?"

321
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,342
Well, if that's what you meant,
I'm fine.

322
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,177
- Good.
- It's really good to see you,

323
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,763
- but I should get back to work.
- Okay.

324
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:44,350
Nothing personal.
I'm just a hard worker, you know?

325
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,810
Not that I'm obsessed with work.

326
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,688
Diane, why don't you get
some pretzels.

327
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,440
- Thank you.
- Hi, Sam.

328
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,695
What's she doing here?

329
00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,241
Ed, why don't you sit down
way over there.

330
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,452
Listen, I...

331
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,372
I asked you over here
to talk about Carla tonight.

332
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,124
You see, she's still working here.

333
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:12,294
I thought my attorney made
my position absolutely clear on that.

334
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,463
Well, yes. Yes, he did. He did.

335
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,173
Hey, table for one. Sit down.

336
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,094
See, Carla is seeing a therapist.

337
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,847
She's trying to work things out.

338
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,765
She's trying to become
the kind of waitress

339
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:27,351
that you'd enjoy being waited on by.

340
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:32,356
You just ended that sentence
with two prepositions.

341
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,900
Don't you have customers
to deal with?

342
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,236
That ended with a preposition too.

343
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,239
Don't you have customers
to deal with, mullet head?

344
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,993
- Look--
- Better.

345
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,541
So you're in therapy, huh?

346
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:52,960
Yes.

347
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,645
I've come a long way, though.

348
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:17,359
Well, I don't believe it,
and I want you out of here.

349
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,283
Ed, it's a long process.

350
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:25,534
- Sometimes--
- Sam.

351
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,041
Hey, Ed.

352
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,210
Give me a break.

353
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,047
I mean, I've been working
damn hard,

354
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:39,882
and I'm better.

355
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,635
- Yeah?
- Yes.

356
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,639
Boston stinks.

357
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,440
This bar stinks.

358
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,108
It's all right, it's all right.

359
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,197
You're a crummy waitress.

360
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,491
- Oh, now, wait a minute--
- No, no, let it go.

361
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,868
- You're doing wonderfully.
- Hang in there, Carla.

362
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,541
You're short.

363
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,713
You're obnoxious.

364
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,302
You're a terrible dresser.

365
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,513
- That's low.
- No.

366
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:38,399
Sam Malone was a terrible pitcher.

367
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:42,486
Ted Williams was overrated.

368
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,990
Bobby Orr was a wimp!

369
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,701
Eddie-- Eddie, I'd stay away
from hockey.

370
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:54,623
I hit a sore spot, huh? Okay.

371
00:22:56,166 --> 00:23:00,004
The Bruins are a bunch of ugly,

372
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:04,466
stupid sissies!

373
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,219
Come on, Ed. I mean,
how much more do you need?

374
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,808
Okay, Sam. I'm gonna drop
the whole thing.

375
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,897
Working here
is punishment enough.

376
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,607
Hey.

377
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,027
I wish you hadn't said that
about the Bruins.

378
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:26,030
- Why, you a Bruin fan?
- No.

379
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,991
I'm a Bruin.

380
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,871
Let me walk you to your car.

381
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:41,670
I wanna show you some
of those sissy things I got suspended for.

382
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,424
All right!

383
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:49,470
- Carla, that was wonderful.
- Thanks.

384
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:51,722
- I'm so proud of you.
- So tranquil. A new woman.

385
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:54,475
My psychologist.
My psychologist.

386
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,518
- How did you do it, honey?
- Nothing to it.

387
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:59,688
I mean, I've been working
really hard on this, haven't I, doc?

388
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:00,981
I mean, we had
some great sessions.

389
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:04,193
I just used this little trick
Dr. Graham taught me.

390
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,738
I imagined a small point
way off in the distance.

391
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,157
Hey, Carla. Where's that beer
I ordered?

392
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:12,451
Shut up, we're celebrating.

393
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:16,372
And I just keep thinking of that point.
He never fazed me, I'm telling you.

394
00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,916
Like, a little deep-breathing,
relaxation...