1 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:09,510 - Hey, Coach, how about a beer? - Forget it, Harry. 2 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,137 Now, Sam says I can't serve you anymore. You're a flimflammer. 3 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,181 Oh, no, no, it ain't for me. I'm expecting a friend. 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,432 - A friend? - Yeah, yeah. 5 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,059 He asked me to order it for him. 6 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:22,189 He did. He did. In fact, he wrote it down. 7 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,025 - "One beer." - Now, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. 8 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:29,154 Wait one minute. One minute, Harry. Let me see that. 9 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,739 Yeah, one beer. 10 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,824 Harry, I just had to make sure. 11 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,076 Okay. 12 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,370 That'll be one buck. 13 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,040 A buck. Let's see. Gosh, I thought I had a dollar. 14 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:41,708 Well, I got a ten. You got change? 15 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,377 Yep, absolutely. 16 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,758 Here you go. A five and four ones, Harry. 17 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,344 Oh, look at this. I have a buck after all. 18 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,764 I don't need the change, Coach. Why don't you give me my ten back? 19 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,474 Right. 20 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:58,600 Right. 21 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,648 - Here you go. - There you-- Wait, wait, wait, no-- 22 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,733 Coach, I don't wanna carry around all these bills. 23 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:09,486 Listen, give me a 20 for the whole thing. What do you say? 24 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,738 You got it. 25 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,033 Nobody move. 26 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,870 Come on, Coach, don't you see what he's doing? 27 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,289 I mean, he's shortchanging you. 28 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,458 Oh, no, no, Sam, he's outsmarted me before, but not this time. 29 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,501 No way. Believe me. 30 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,878 Coach, how much money are you giving him? 31 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:30,215 - Twenty bucks. - How much is he giving you? 32 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,842 Oh, darn you, Harry. 33 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,304 Sam, I'm just trying to keep in practice. 34 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,889 Coach, I tell you what, I'll give you a $30 bill. 35 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,058 - We'll call it even. Okay? - What do you think, Sam? 36 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,935 There's no such thing as a $30 bill, Coach. 37 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,312 You wanna bet? 38 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,398 Get out of my bar, Harry. Come on, now, scoot. 39 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,067 Wait a minute. You owe me ten bucks. What is this, a clip joint? 40 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,819 I'm sorry. Here. Now go on. 41 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,614 You know, Sam-- You know, you've got the wrong idea about me. 42 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,199 No, I don't. Now, Harry, you got ten seconds to get out of my bar. 43 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,701 And give me back my watch, Harry. 44 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,078 I'm just trying to help you guys out. 45 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,663 I mean, if you wanna upgrade a little bit-- 46 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,292 - Out. - I'm out. I'm out. 47 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,868 - Afternoon, everybody. - Hey, Norm! 48 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,870 Give me a beer, will you? 49 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,205 How's life treating you, Norm? 50 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,374 Like I just ran over its dog. 51 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,378 You're a little late, Norm. How come? 52 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,256 Vera dragged me down to the mortuary. 53 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,133 Had to arrange for our funeral. 54 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,301 You thinking about dying, Norm? 55 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,054 We don't have any dates circled yet, but... 56 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,015 you know Vera, she likes to plan ahead. 57 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,893 Yeah, we're gonna get cremated. 58 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,604 No kidding? What are you gonna do with the ashes? 59 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,691 You know, I wanted to throw them in her mother's face... 60 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:57,320 ...but I think we're gonna have them scattered over the Adirondacks. 61 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,035 - Hello, everyone. - Hi, Diane. 62 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,290 I'm sorry I'm late, but you'll be delighted when you hear why. 63 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,751 We were just delighted that you were late. 64 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,672 I had the most fabulous after-class discussion 65 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,591 - with my art history professor. - Oh, yeah? 66 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:23,054 Yeah. I now feel, unequivocally, I have a full grasp of impressionism. 67 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,556 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 68 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,099 Do Kirk Douglas. 69 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,564 Sam, I am sorry I was late. 70 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,608 Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? 71 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,985 Yeah, yeah, but you wouldn't. 72 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,117 Cheers. Yeah. 73 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,827 Coach, your friend Walt. 74 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,789 Oh, Walt. Walt. 75 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,667 Walt, Walt, my God, it's so good to hear from you. 76 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,878 Oh, I'm so glad the operation's over, Walt. 77 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,631 Listen, I didn't wanna say anything beforehand, Walt, 78 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,676 but, you know, I didn't think your chances going in there were too good. 79 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,055 Oh, it's tomorrow? 80 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,560 Well, listen, don't worry about it, Walt, you'll fly right through it. 81 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,021 It's a piece of cake. 82 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,733 - Hello, everybody. - Dave! 83 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,152 Oh, the famous sportscaster. 84 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,196 - Hi, Coach. - Right on, man. 85 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,574 Hey, Dave, we watch you here on the news every night. 86 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,576 - Oh, great. - You do the best sports report in town. 87 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,120 Well, well, what do we have here? 88 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,916 Hi. Dave Richards. I'm an old teammate of Sam's. 89 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,170 Diane Chambers. I'm Sam's new waitress. 90 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,966 - Sam have his brand on you yet? - Hardly. 91 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,552 Oh, well, good, then you're in for a lucky day. 92 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,220 Not only am I incredibly good-looking, 93 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,222 I'm also incredibly rich and incredibly nice. 94 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,765 And incredibly married. 95 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,395 Well, I am sorry to hear that. 96 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,188 - You are? - Yes. 97 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:59,150 I was hoping to reject you based solely on your personality. 98 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,867 Too skinny. 99 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,661 Can I have Coach buy you a beer? 100 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,289 - No, Sam, I'm here on business. - Yeah, I noticed. 101 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,086 How would you like to be my interview on the 6:00 news tonight? 102 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:21,298 - Hey, that's terrific! Sam! - Yeah! 103 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,925 You wanna interview me? I haven't been in baseball for years. 104 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,802 Hey, I understand perfectly. 105 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,680 You are one of the best relievers the Red Sox ever had. 106 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,391 Carla's right. You're still a big name in this town, Sam. 107 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,935 We could do the interview right here in the bar. 108 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,271 You couldn't ask for more than that, Sam. 109 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,982 And besides, you owe me a favor. 110 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,860 - I do? - Yeah. 111 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,362 Remember that night in Chicago in 1973? Those two young--? 112 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,114 Dollars I borrowed? Oh, yeah. 113 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,326 Two young dollars? 114 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,454 Yeah, I hate it when they're wrinkled. 115 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:57,208 Look, I'm out of practice. It's been years since I did an interview. 116 00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,086 Hey, come on, Sam, it's good advertising. 117 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,213 - It would help business. - Right, Carla. 118 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:06,217 And we can all be on TV. I'd like to see myself on TV. 119 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:09,012 No, you wouldn't. Trust me. 120 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,639 Trust me on that. 121 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,224 Come on, Sam, I haven't got all day. 122 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,810 - Yeah, come on, come on. - Come on, Sam. 123 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,145 - Do it! - Come on! 124 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,898 Sam, everybody in this bar wants you to do the interview. 125 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,025 Almost everybody. 126 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,656 - What do you mean? - Oh, never mind. 127 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,075 Will you excuse me for just a minute? 128 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:33,411 Diane, can I talk to you in the backroom for a minute? 129 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,872 - Certainly. - Thank you. 130 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,707 I'll be right back. 131 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,960 I just have to discipline an employee. 132 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,836 - Oh, can I watch? - No. 133 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,633 Okay, what's the problem? 134 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,260 What makes you think I have a problem? 135 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,680 Because you've got that Sam-is-a-chowderhead- 136 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,599 and-he-wouldn't-understand- if-l-drew-him-a-picture look. 137 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,812 - I do get that sometimes. - Yeah. 138 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:04,693 Sam, the fact of the matter is that you are an ex-jockstrap. 139 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,111 - Ex-jock. - You... 140 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,282 That's ex-jock. Now, how many times I gotta tell you that? 141 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,619 Well, what is the origin of the word "jock"? 142 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:18,915 I-- From the French, "Jacques." 143 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:25,213 Sam, those 'where are they now" interviews on TV? 144 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,923 - Yeah? - They're depressing. 145 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:30,427 You know, anytime you put a "former" in front of someone's name, 146 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,471 even the most attractive, bright, successful guy-- 147 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,932 Excuse me, excuse me. "Attractive"? 148 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,018 Yeah. Even then, you know, something-- 149 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,395 I didn't know you thought I was attractive. 150 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:45,316 Well, you know, when the light strikes you in a certain way, 151 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:49,571 and your hair's combed just right, and I'm standing back a ways, 152 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:54,284 you're sometimes somewhat unrepugnant. 153 00:08:56,494 --> 00:09:00,498 Yeah, that's what women call me, "tall, dark and unrepugnant." 154 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,335 The point I am laboring to make here 155 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:11,009 is that whenever I see an old athlete trying to relive his glory days on TV, 156 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,429 I can't help but feel sorry for him, and I don't wanna feel sorry for you. 157 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,723 Wait a minute. Feel sorry for me? 158 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,893 Hey, look, I resent that. You don't have to feel sorry for me. 159 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,895 You know who you should feel sorry for? 160 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,646 I'll tell you who you should feel sorry for. 161 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,523 You should feel sorry for the Flintstones. 162 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,322 I beg your pardon? 163 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,657 Well, yeah, they're opposite the 6:00 news, 164 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,702 and when everybody finds out that "Mayday" Malone is on, 165 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,914 Bedrock is gonna be a very lonely little town. 166 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,210 Martina Navra-- 167 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:50,090 No. Martina Navra-mama-Jamma. No. 168 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,634 - Martina-- - Hey, Dave, let's do it. 169 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,844 - All right! - Yeah! 170 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,139 That's great, Sam. 171 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,225 Give me 20 minutes, I'll bring the crew right back. 172 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:04,437 You got it. That'll give me just enough time to slip into my shawl and blanket. 173 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,732 Dave, this is a really good idea. 174 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,400 Yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? 175 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,736 Yeah, about time you got around to "Mayday." 176 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:17,200 Well, actually, I'm really kind of excited that he agreed to do the interview. 177 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,953 You know, John McEnroe canceled out on me. 178 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,163 So Sam was your second choice? 179 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,916 No, Gerry Cheevers is out of town with his horses. 180 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,586 - Third? - M.L. Carr has laryngitis. 181 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,963 Fourth? 182 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:34,050 Jim Rice is out of town, and Robert Parish was last week, 183 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,428 and Becky Bannerman, the junior high school gymnast, is on a field trip. 184 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:42,058 But Sam was the first retired guy you thought of? 185 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,353 - No, well-- - I said, 186 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,648 Sam was the first retired guy you thought of. 187 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,984 - The very first. - He's honored. 188 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,759 The Celtics got going pretty good, eh? 189 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,597 Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. 190 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,309 I'm practicing my floating coin trick. 191 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,935 Pardon me? 192 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,273 Just a little something I do. 193 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,025 So, what, it's a rigged-up coin, huh? 194 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,943 No, it's just a half-dollar. 195 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,153 Take a look. 196 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,114 - A trick or something, huh? - No, no trick. 197 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,325 - Strings and wires, stuff like that? - No, no wires, no strings. 198 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:44,495 I just take the coin, I hold it in the air about like that, 199 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,415 and then I let go of it real careful, 200 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,626 and it just stays there. 201 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,336 It floats. 202 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,504 It hangs there. 203 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,216 What am I, a goof? 204 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,427 There's no way you can make a coin hang in the air. No way! 205 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,347 - You got five bucks if I can't do it? - Yeah, I-- Ten! Ten bucks! 206 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,266 No, wait. Wait a minute. Am I being hustled here? 207 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,354 You are gonna give me ten bucks if I cannot do it? 208 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,356 You're onsville, pal. Come on. 209 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,615 - I couldn't do it. - No, you couldn't. 210 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,409 - I don't know what happened. - I'll tell you what happened. 211 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,370 You just got stuck with ten bucks. 212 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,459 Coach! Coach! 213 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,504 - Who is this clown? - Which clown? 214 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,090 Harry! Harry, please. 215 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,635 - Harry. - Sam, I'm going. I'm going. 216 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,387 I was just playing, okay? 217 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:46,474 But whoever owns a Honda, thanks for the lift. 218 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,566 He take you for anything, Norm? 219 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,527 What'd you say, Coach? 220 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:01,489 I didn't hear you. I'm practicing suspending this coin in midair. 221 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,662 Here, here. 222 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,206 - No, Carla, don't, I'm fine. - All right, all right. 223 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,710 You know, he's gonna ask you, "What's your greatest memory in baseball?" 224 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:14,961 And I'll tell you what it is. 225 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,506 It's gotta be that double-header against the Orioles in '72. 226 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,634 He saved both games with seven pitches. 227 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,845 - Seven pitches. - No, no, now, wait a minute. 228 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,680 Wait a minute, will you? Wait a minute. 229 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,515 You wanna talk about excitement, huh? 230 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,809 Sam, tell them about opening day in New York. 231 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,644 You come out of the bullpen in the seventh, 232 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,231 the bases are loaded with pinstripes, Bobby Murcer's at the plate-- 233 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,608 He hit a 400-foot home run off me, Coach. 234 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,570 My God, it was the most exciting thing I ever saw. 235 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,907 Coach, this is Sam's interview. 236 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,702 Why would he wanna talk about something bad happening to him? 237 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,912 You're right, Carla. I don't know what it is. 238 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,207 You know, sometimes I just think of the smartest thing to say, 239 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,418 and then it comes out so stupid. 240 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,045 That doesn't make any sense. 241 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,714 Well, you should've heard it before I said it. 242 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,677 - Everybody ready? - Yeah. 243 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,221 Well, "Mayday"... 244 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,183 - ...knock them dead. - Thanks. 245 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,061 - You ready, Sammy? - Yeah, yeah. 246 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:18,274 Yeah, I am. Dave, listen, I'd like to do this if you don't mind. 247 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,986 First, we can talk about whatever my greatest thrill in sports was, 248 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:26,407 then I wanna talk about my triumph over alcoholism. 249 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,118 - Good. Very good. - Yeah, it could be powerful. 250 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,870 - Yeah. - Very powerful. 251 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,331 - Yeah. - Then we could talk about Cheers, 252 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,708 what I'm doing now, and if you have any time left over, 253 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:39,796 we can talk about what I'd do about the crisis in the Mideast. 254 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,758 Yeah, the Cubs got that thing by three and a half games, don't they? 255 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,555 Should be a stimulating evening. 256 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:50,890 Ready, Dave. 257 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,685 Okay, a little bit more to the left, guys. 258 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,529 - Roll tape. - Rolling. 259 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:05,947 Action. 260 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,368 I'm standing here in a popular Boston watering hole called Cheers. 261 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,203 What's wrong with his voice? 262 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:18,042 - Come on, Diane, this is television. - Cut the tape, Ernie. 263 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,796 - Come on, Sam. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 264 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,508 - I mean, really. I gotta start over now. - I know. You'll be all right. 265 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,761 Gee whiz. 266 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,266 - Roll it, Ernie. - Rolling. 267 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:37,645 I'm standing here in a popular watering hole called Cheers. 268 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,652 Most of you probably recognize the guy standing next to me. 269 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:47,613 Or maybe you don't when he's not in his Red Sox uniform. 270 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,657 But this is Sam "Mayday" Malone, 271 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,243 ex-great relief pitcher from the Boston Red Sox 272 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,662 and now owner and bartender here at Cheers. 273 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:59,041 - How you doing, Sam? - I'm all right, Dave. Thanks. 274 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,252 That's great. 275 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,758 You've been out of baseball, what, five years now? 276 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,218 - Yeah, yeah. - Do you miss it? 277 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,679 Well, you know, I miss the fans. 278 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,140 The people of Boston were very good to me. 279 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:15,808 Yeah. 280 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,482 Tell us about some of the great moments you had here, Sam. 281 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,527 Well, I guess I'd have to say one day in Baltimore. 282 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,572 Oh, great. You wanna tell us a little bit about that, Sam? 283 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:33,618 Well, it was-- I was working both ends of a double-header. 284 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,622 It was the old story. First game, bottom of the ninth, 285 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,874 I'm coming in with a man on second and third, 286 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,836 we're holding onto a one-run lead against the Birds. 287 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,796 And Boog Powell's coming up. 288 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,467 I could feel the wind from his warm-up swings. 289 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,844 I mean, the guy had the heaviest bat in the league. 290 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,304 Papers are full of him. 291 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,598 So I figure the only way I'm gonna get this guy, 292 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,684 as good as he's going, is if I challenge him on the first pitch. 293 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,645 If I try to get cute, he's gonna kill me. 294 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:04,565 So I decide I'm gonna make him wait on me, make him sweat a little bit. 295 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,609 You know, I adjust my cap a couple times, 296 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,611 go down to the rosin bag a couple times, 297 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,155 walk around the mound two or three times. 298 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,282 Then when I figure he's getting good and antsy, I-- 299 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,076 Dave, John McEnroe just called. 300 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,787 He said he's got something he wants to get off his chest. 301 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,081 McEnroe. 302 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,211 Hey, Dave, what...? 303 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,838 Sam, thank you. I'll catch you later, huh? 304 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,342 What happened? 305 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:35,179 Well, I guess he got a better interview. 306 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,723 No, no, what happened to the Boog person? 307 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,394 He grounded to third. 308 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,021 Come on, Coach, let's serve some drinks here. 309 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,231 Yeah, right, Sam. 310 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,108 Tennis is a sissy game. 311 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,901 Come on, we got some thirsty people, right? 312 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,571 - Damn shame, Sammy. - No. No sweat, no sweat. 313 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,448 Listen, I'm gonna be in back, cleaning up. 314 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,577 - That's our job, Sam. - It's my bar, Carla. 315 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:03,082 Listen, Carla, will you watch my customers 316 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,417 while I'm gone, please? 317 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:08,337 Sure. I'll go over, act geeky, give them the wrong drinks. 318 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,424 - They'll never know you're gone. - Thanks. 319 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:19,515 Sam, this could be a crucial moment in your life. 320 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:24,103 It is vitally important that you handle your emotions properly. 321 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,939 The worst thing that anyone in a situation like this 322 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:30,318 could do right now is to repress his feelings. 323 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:33,654 Diane, get out, please. 324 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,073 You need to lash out. 325 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,367 To release yourself. 326 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,827 Scream. 327 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,746 - Get out! - Wonderful. 328 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,914 All right, now... 329 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:48,711 We need now to move away from the brute gut release of emotions 330 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,254 into the more cerebral. 331 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,757 Tell me in one sentence what you perceive 332 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,842 to be your problem right now. 333 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,261 You won't leave. 334 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,221 Let's come back to that. 335 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:05,269 Other people have been through what you're feeling. 336 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,399 Even, in a slightly different way, myself. 337 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,779 Would you like me to share an experience from my life 338 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,073 when I was horribly defeated and humiliated? 339 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:24,538 Diane, I don't wanna hear a lead-in-a-high-school-play story. 340 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,459 It's not a lead-in-the-high-school-play story. 341 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,171 Well, I don't wanna hear a I-didn't-get- asked-out-for-the-junior-prom story. 342 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:36,801 It's not an I-didn't-get-asked-out- for-the-junior-prom story. 343 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:41,097 Well, I sure as hell don't wanna hear a I-didn't-get-elected-cheerleader story. 344 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:45,142 Okay, if you're just gonna make a big joke about it. 345 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,603 I hit it, didn't I, huh? 346 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,980 - Come on, I hit it. - Oh, Sam, I was terrific. 347 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:54,985 Look, what happened to me today put a period at the end of my career. 348 00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:00,074 The last thing I need is a cheerleader right now. 349 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,577 Well, that's what you need the most. 350 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,331 Hey, you know, 351 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,543 I was looking at you at that interview today. 352 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:16,090 Yep. I didn't see a washed-up ex-former has-been. 353 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:23,848 No. I saw a guy who has a great deal to look back on with pride. 354 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,976 And a great deal to look forward to with hope. 355 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,270 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 356 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,565 Of course, it didn't hurt that you were standing next to a Cro-Magnon. 357 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,862 But, Sam, here's the point. 358 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,489 You know, you have to put the past behind you. 359 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,409 You have to turn and face the future. Look at it. 360 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,370 You have to open your eyes, see what's right in front of you. 361 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,999 You're young, you're alive. Feel that. Feel that in your whole body. 362 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:53,169 Appreciate what you've got. Live for today. 363 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:56,630 Go for it, Sam. I tell you, go for it. 364 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:03,929 Are you okay? 365 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,015 Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm... 366 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,559 I'm fine. I'm fine. 367 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,644 Oh, hey, look. 368 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,271 One of my lights is out. 369 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,859 It's a reflex, Sam, you know? 370 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,570 I learned it in a class, Practical Feminism. 371 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,702 What was your final, crippling a Buick? 372 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,081 Look, I'm sorry I had to do that, 373 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,667 but I came in here with very honorable intentions 374 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:34,960 of trying to help you out. 375 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,922 No, no, I'm sorry, you're right. Thank you. 376 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,883 Look, I really appreciate you coming in here. 377 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,384 It's the high point of my day. 378 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,763 How long have you wanted to do that? 379 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:48,641 Do what? 380 00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,143 Kiss me. 381 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,146 How long have you denied that burning desire? 382 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,736 It just came to me. It was an impulse. 383 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,240 Good. 384 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,159 Because if you've been thinking about anything between us, 385 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,410 it is out of the question. 386 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:10,120 No, no, I haven't. 387 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,289 Good. 388 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,167 Listen, Diane... 389 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:17,795 ...thank you. 390 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,339 I will put the past behind me, 391 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:25,761 and tomorrow I'll feel better, but tonight I'm gonna feel bad. 392 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,137 Okay? 393 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,432 Yeah, okay. 394 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,235 Hey, Sam, will you do me a favor? 395 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,071 You want me to try and take your purse, right? 396 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,495 Okay, I deserved that. 397 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:55,165 No, I'm curious. I wanna hear about the Boog-er. 398 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,795 - The what? - The guy from Baltimore. 399 00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:02,590 Listen, Diane, I know when I'm being patronized. 400 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:06,260 I may not have had 80 majors, but I know when I'm being patronized. 401 00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,014 Second game, bottom of the ninth, Boog's up again. 402 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,056 - Again? - Oh, yeah. 403 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,892 I'm seeing the clown in my dreams. 404 00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:17,396 See, if I serve him a gopher ball, we're five games out of first place 405 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:18,898 with only eight to play. 406 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:22,109 Now, there's only one guy on base, but it happens to be Don Buford. 407 00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:24,695 I mean, he's over there on first base dancing around. 408 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:27,489 I had to go over there 20 times. 409 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,658 To talk to him about dancing? 410 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:34,204 No, no, no, you see, you gotta throw the ball to first 411 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:37,041 to keep the runner close to the bag. 412 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,043 - If you don't, what happens is-- - Wait, wait. 413 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,420 Don't you throw the ball at the batter? 414 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:47,301 Look, this story's going nowhere. Why don't we just forget it. 415 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,595 Oh, good, now we have time for my cheerleader story. 416 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,222 All right, all right, Buford's on first. 417 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,393 - Where? - Right here. 418 00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,146 Right there. Put it down, put it down. Easy mistake, gentlemen. 419 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:00,397 Easy mistake. 420 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,900 Let me give you another shot. Let me give you another shot. 421 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,069 Once again. Anyone can make that mistake. Once again. 422 00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:07,237 - Again. Once, twice, three times. - I wanna double up. 423 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,822 Let me give you a hand. Which one? 424 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,115 - I wanna double up. - Right here. 425 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:13,494 Right there. Gentlemen, gentlemen-- Oh, one more time, one more time. 426 00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,120 Please, please, please, please. 427 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,498 I'm trying to give you a chance to break even. I feel just terrible. 428 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:18,499 Again.