1
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,882
Yes, I'll tell him.

2
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,474
Oh, Sam, I just had a conversation
with your date tonight.

3
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,559
Bambi.

4
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,272
She said she can't make it.
She's had an accident.

5
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,149
You're kidding. What happened?

6
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,611
She fell off her shoes.

7
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,286
Gee, that's tough. That's tough.

8
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,915
That leaves me only two hours
to find another date.

9
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:41,708
Those are the breaks.

10
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,711
Not to worry. Not to worry.

11
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:46,964
The book.

12
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,633
Cliff, I swear it just gave off
a beam of light.

13
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,386
- A little black book?
- Yeah.

14
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,139
Didn't those go out with getting
a girl drunk and seducing her?

15
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,266
That's out now?

16
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,895
Let me see, let me see.

17
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,690
Hey. Christie Leveroni.

18
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,401
Christie Leveroni, come on down.

19
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,612
Come on, Sam,
let me dial this one, huh?

20
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,865
It's been a long time since I've run
my fingers over a girl's digits.

21
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,659
Norman.

22
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:19,413
You know, I haven't seen Christie
since Woodstock.

23
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,706
You were at Woodstock?

24
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,834
Friend of mine told me to go.
Said it was a place to pick up chicks.

25
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,629
I should have known
you weren't there for the music.

26
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,673
There was music at Woodstock?

27
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,800
Sammy, it's ringing.

28
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,679
Hello, is Christie there?

29
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,016
She entered a convent?

30
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,979
Oh, boys, it looks like
your idol has fallen.

31
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,815
So, what's the number over there?

32
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,356
- Hi, Coach.
- Oh, hi, Diane.

33
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,024
- Hi, Coach.
- Hey, Coach.

34
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,067
Hi.

35
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,985
Sam? Sam?

36
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,362
- Yeah.
- Look at me.

37
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,447
- I look okay to you?
- Yeah. Why?

38
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,242
Well, I just went down to renew
my driver's license, right?

39
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,202
They asked me to donate my kidneys.

40
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,495
Oh, no, no.

41
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,165
Don't take that personal, Coach.
They ask everybody.

42
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,377
Those highway robbers.
It used to be a lousy 2 bucks.

43
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,130
Carla's late again.

44
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,173
Yeah, I know. I wonder why.

45
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,511
Sam, you know why.

46
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,681
Why aren't any of us saying anything
about Carla's problem?

47
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,809
Listen, Diane, I don't think we should
be the ones to bring this up.

48
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,394
Look, you know Carla. She's proud.

49
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,605
Maybe she just wants to keep
this one under her hat, that's all.

50
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,405
Maybe it's not even
what we think it is.

51
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,826
Coach, what else could it be?

52
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:03,994
Gas.

53
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:07,831
Hi, everyone.

54
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,458
- Oh, hi, Carla.
- Hello.

55
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,502
Yeah.

56
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,629
I gotta go change.

57
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:15,714
Okay.

58
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,678
What are we all so afraid of?

59
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,097
We've known for well
over a month that Carla's...

60
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,476
Let me be the first to say it aloud.

61
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,312
- Carla is pregnant.
- That's it, Sam. It's out.

62
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,690
Oh, Sam.

63
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,525
She is all alone in the world.

64
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,319
She needs some support.

65
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,572
She's probably waiting
for us to reach out.

66
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,116
And you people
call yourselves friends.

67
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,951
Well, why don't you talk to her?

68
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,578
Well, I would,

69
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,707
but Carla's never
actually called me a friend.

70
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,169
Unless 'doofus" is
a term of endearment.

71
00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,966
Don't look at me.

72
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,468
Vera and I don't have any kids.

73
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,345
I don't know anything
about the subject.

74
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,680
Yeah, Norm, how come you
and Vera never had any kids?

75
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,641
I can't, Coach.

76
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,059
Gee, I'm sorry, Norm.

77
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,144
I look at Vera, I just can't.

78
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,238
- So how's it going, guys?
- Oh, hi, Carla.

79
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,285
Look, Carla,

80
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,163
we just want you to know that,

81
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,207
well, if there's anything
you ever need, just...

82
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,042
Just ask us, okay?

83
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,254
Well, since you brought it up, Sam...

84
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,547
Yeah, yeah. What?

85
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,967
I'm gonna need a couple of hours
off at the end of April.

86
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,512
Okay, you don't wanna
talk about it, you don't...

87
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,680
No, no. It's okay.

88
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,558
I told the father about it yesterday.
He's been out of town.

89
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,560
You know, I just wanted
to tell him first.

90
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,896
Well, tell the rest of them.
They're dying to hear. Come on.

91
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,815
- Yeah, yeah, I'll go talk to them.
- All right.

92
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,401
You were saying...?

93
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,111
What was I saying?

94
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,821
- The weather... The weather is really...
- Beautiful.

95
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,824
It's always just sort of, oh, beautiful.

96
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,325
Everyone...

97
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,454
- ...I'm pregnant.
- What?

98
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,164
- Oh, my...
- What?

99
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,253
- What the...
- You're pregnant? Oh, Carla.

100
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,921
Well, why didn't you say anything?

101
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,091
Well, you know, I had a lot on my mind.
I can't remember everything.

102
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,760
Oh, sure. Busy gal.

103
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,596
Yeah, well, congratulations, huh?

104
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,264
Unless you don't want another kid.

105
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:32,893
- Of course she wanted the kid, Norm.
- Sure, I do.

106
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,021
What penniless, unmarried
mother of four wouldn't?

107
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,564
See what I mean?

108
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,940
Carla, don't worry about that.

109
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,859
I'm gonna give you a little
bump up in pay there.

110
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,277
Hey, thanks, Sam.

111
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,237
Well, that's great. What a guy.

112
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,282
Great. Carla gets a raise
for getting pregnant.

113
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,035
I wonder what I have to do
to get a raise out of the boss.

114
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,329
- You could get a raise out of the boss.
- Get a raise out of the boss.

115
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,917
So who's the father?
We wanna know.

116
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,835
Well, you're about to see for yourselves.

117
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,211
He's coming in.

118
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,423
I really got lucky this time. Boy.

119
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:08,470
He's a nice, responsible guy,
and he is gonna support this kid.

120
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305
Oh, that's great.

121
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,640
You gonna get married?

122
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,517
Well, you know, actually,
we probably would, Sam.

123
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,812
Except it goes against
my most cherished belief,

124
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,732
men are toe jam.

125
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,693
Who is this guy?

126
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,697
Hey, Marshall.

127
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,161
Marshall?

128
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,247
Carla made love
to a PhD from MIT?

129
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:40,377
Hey, look, you guys, if you can't say it
in front of me, don't say it at all, huh?

130
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,171
No, Coach.

131
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:47,008
Coach, Marshall is
the father of Carla's child.

132
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,469
- Marshall?
- Yeah.

133
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,513
I don't believe it,
and I believe everything.

134
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,850
So how are you feeling, little Mommy?

135
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:56,935
I'll make a deal with you.

136
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,645
You don't call me little Mommy,

137
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,689
and I don't put your tongue
in the blender.

138
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,985
Hey, Marshall, come on down
and sit down here.

139
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,153
- Come on, Marshall.
- Way to go. All right.

140
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,989
I'm so happy for you both.

141
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,074
Congratulations, Marshall.

142
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,535
Congratulations, Dad.

143
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,538
Why don't you
have a seat little... Carla.

144
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,498
Thank you.

145
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,667
Look, I think we have
something to celebrate here.

146
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,585
- A little champagne.
- Yeah.

147
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,045
- Yeah, pour it up, boys.
- There you go.

148
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,255
Glasses. Here you go.

149
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:29,384
Hey, by the way, I recommend
the Lamaze method.

150
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,511
I've read about that,
and it sounds wonderful.

151
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,847
Oh, no, forget it.
I got my own method.

152
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,766
Knock me out and wake me
when it's potty-trained.

153
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,565
All right. Let's make a toast here.
Somebody make a toast.

154
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,400
- All right.
- Diane, make the toast.

155
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,609
Oh, all right...

156
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,070
To the baby.

157
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,658
With Marshall as the father,
it's sure to have brains.

158
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,161
With Carla as the mother,
it's sure to have...

159
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,704
...need for them.

160
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,624
What I mean is,

161
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,753
to the baby and its luck
at having such wonderful parents.

162
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,629
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers. Cheers.

163
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,132
- What? What?
- Hey,

164
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,052
you know, I think I'd better just
lie down for a minute, all right?

165
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,179
- Sure.
- Would you all excuse me?

166
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,305
I'll be right back.

167
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,809
Gee, Marshall, I didn't even know
you and Carla were dating.

168
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,188
Actually, Coach,
we just dated the one time.

169
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,440
One time?

170
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,569
Just once?

171
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,906
It's a funny thing too,

172
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,076
because Carla wouldn't give me
a second look before that.

173
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:37,744
Or since.

174
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,248
But she sure was ready,
willing and able that night.

175
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,084
She was a woman possessed.

176
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,669
So the whole thing was her idea.

177
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,631
Yes, I... I think you can say that.

178
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,425
Not that I didn't enjoy myself, but I...

179
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,762
I had no idea this would be the result.

180
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,974
I was so surprised when she
told me about it yesterday.

181
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,268
Would you excuse me, Marshall?

182
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,188
I think I need to talk to Carla.

183
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,532
You clever girl, you.

184
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,492
- What?
- I know what you're up to.

185
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,619
You slyboots.

186
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,330
Gotta hand it to you. Pretty smart.

187
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,458
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Yes, you do.

188
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,544
Marshall's not the father of that child.

189
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,296
Maybe he is,

190
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,967
and maybe he isn't.

191
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,846
Come on. Carla.

192
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,014
You can tell me. I'm proud of you.

193
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,766
This shows real initiative.

194
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,060
Well,

195
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,479
since you already guessed,

196
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,190
you're right. He's not the father.

197
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,067
I lied so he'd support it.

198
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,530
What a great, great plan.

199
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,657
Yeah, well, I hate to sing
my own praises.

200
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,492
Oh, well, don't sing
your own praises.

201
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,370
Why don't you hum
a few bars of this tune.

202
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,462
Carla, how could you?

203
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,257
Why don't you just sit down
and let me talk for a change.

204
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,341
Fine.

205
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,891
I had had a really rotten day.

206
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,810
I got stiffed twice.

207
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,021
Sam bawled me out for something.

208
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,480
You were here.

209
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,233
I got soaked on the way home.

210
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,030
By the time I got the kids locked
in their rooms, I had really had it.

211
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,784
So I sat down at the kitchen table,

212
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,078
a bottle of Chianti,

213
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:50,043
and I just started thinking about
how rotten my whole life was,

214
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,087
when I saw

215
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,340
his face

216
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,843
through the fog in the door window.

217
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,262
Who?

218
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,431
Nick, my ex-husband.

219
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,646
Besides everything else,
it was our anniversary.

220
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,231
I see.

221
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:15,026
But I was so down, I figured we could
just talk for a while. You know?

222
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,152
So we were drinking

223
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:20,156
and remembering the couple
of good times we had.

224
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,952
It was the first laugh I had all day.

225
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,120
He was wearing

226
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,747
his black

227
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,041
fishnet T-shirt.

228
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,922
I could see

229
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,217
his panther tattoo
through the little holes.

230
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,553
No woman could resist.

231
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,809
With the rain and everything
and the wine,

232
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,311
I just got carried away.

233
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:55,483
Carla, this is the man you once
referred to as seepage.

234
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,364
Sure, Nick's disgusting.

235
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,201
But he knows this spot
on your earlobe.

236
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:09,789
One nibble, and you are
a heaving mound of flesh.

237
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,209
I find that very hard to believe.

238
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,752
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

239
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,337
Well, let me just show you.

240
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,589
Oh, Carla, don't be ridiculous.

241
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,882
Carla.

242
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,347
Cliff.

243
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,350
- No, this isn't what you think it is.
- No, no. That's okay.

244
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,144
I'm an '80s kind of a guy.

245
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,563
Seen all the right movies
and everything.

246
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,774
Yes, yes. Well, no, Cliff, you see,

247
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:41,863
Carla and I were testing
a fascinating scientific hypothesis.

248
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,908
- Scientific.
- Oh, I like science.

249
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,702
Step right this way.

250
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,330
- Carla, show him.
- Jesus.

251
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,418
Unbelievable, huh?

252
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,545
I didn't feel anything there.

253
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,964
Well, you know, sometimes
there's a delayed reaction.

254
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,300
Okay, maybe if the both
of you jumped on...

255
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,052
Take a walk, Cliff ie.

256
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,721
Hey. Oh, hey, listen,

257
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,932
if you need a <i>trots</i> for that <i>ménage,</i>
I'll be in the back.

258
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,900
All right, let me see if I have
the decadence straight.

259
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,320
You discovered you were pregnant.

260
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,281
You purposely seduced Marshall

261
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,825
because you assumed
that your husband

262
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,287
would not assume
responsibility for the child.

263
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,039
Exactly.

264
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,916
Depraved.

265
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,585
Now, look here, whitey.

266
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,798
You know, you can talk,
but I got four kids.

267
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,759
And I've been raising them alone,
and it's been damned hard.

268
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,386
I can't take it anymore.

269
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:51,307
Somebody is gonna help me ease
my load a little bit this time,

270
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,726
and I don't care
what I have to do to get it.

271
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:54,977
Carla.

272
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,729
It's wrong.

273
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:58,689
I don't care.

274
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,401
And I don't care what you think.

275
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,027
What did you guys do
to Cliff back here?

276
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,112
Why? What's the matter?

277
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,863
We just had to pull him
off the wooden Indian.

278
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,454
Cliff.

279
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,750
Here, Cliff. Sip, beer, sip.

280
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,671
Carla, do you know the story
of "The Tell-Tale Heart"?

281
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:22,839
Take a leap, whitey.

282
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,424
I'm going to tell it to you.

283
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,635
A young man killed an old man.

284
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:32,181
While carrying out the crime,
he could hear his victim's heart,

285
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,808
beating in fright.

286
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,815
He was very glad
when the man was dead.

287
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,358
The awful sound stopped.

288
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:46,904
Then he dismembered his victim
and buried him under the floorboards.

289
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:51,826
Soon he could hear a sound
coming up from the floor.

290
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,206
Till he couldn't stand it anymore.

291
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,833
Surely, everyone heard it.

292
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,377
Eventually guilt drove him
totally insane.

293
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,130
You can never escape
your conscience.

294
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,051
Okay, okay.

295
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,970
Tom, I've been cheating on you.

296
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,015
You are a wonderful man,
and I don't deserve you.

297
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,766
I'm sorry.

298
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:16,934
Wait, darling.

299
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,071
Is this having any effect on you?

300
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,281
None at all.

301
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,366
Maybe you need bigger ba-booms.

302
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,374
Diane, would you
just leave me alone?

303
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:43,085
Carla, don't get upset.
Sit down with me.

304
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,546
Thanks.

305
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,382
So how's it going, Dad?

306
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:52,970
Great. I think I'm approaching
a state of euphoria.

307
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:55,681
Coach?

308
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,392
- Could I have a beer, please?
- Absolutely, Marshall.

309
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:07,568
Carla, what do you think
we should name the child?

310
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,530
We got time for names, Marshall.

311
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,032
You know, the biggest argument
I ever had with my wife

312
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,703
was over naming our daughter.
She kept insisting, insisting on Lisa.

313
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,039
And I wanted to stick
with the original name.

314
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,042
- What was that, Coach?
- Baby Girl Pantusso.

315
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,468
You know, Carla, I've been thinking.

316
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:37,473
Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to my lawyer
and have a new will drawn up,

317
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,311
and all of your children
will be named as my beneficiaries.

318
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,316
Gee, Marshall,

319
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,610
I never expected that.

320
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:55,032
That's about the sweetest thing
anybody's ever done.

321
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:58,911
Diane, would you just cut it out
with the stupid "ba-booms"?

322
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,581
Carla, Diane's in the backroom.

323
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,294
Come on, we gotta talk.

324
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,965
You win. I'm gonna tell him the truth.

325
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,926
Will somebody please tell me
what's going on here?

326
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,721
Well, she's gonna tell him the truth.

327
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,806
The truth about what?

328
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,018
Oh, Sam, it's terrible.

329
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,144
She lied.

330
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,606
The real father is her ex-husband.

331
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,443
I don't believe this.
I mean, I know the guy.

332
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:35,531
Her ex-husband is an insensitive,
macho pig with one thing on his mind.

333
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,034
Some women are attracted to that.

334
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,368
Name one.

335
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,789
- Hey, hey...
- Arlene Abrams.

336
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,209
Angela Adams.

337
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:49,337
I'm going home.

338
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,672
No. No, listen, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

339
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,091
I'm gonna talk to you first.

340
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,553
Sit down, sit down.

341
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:58,971
Now, look,

342
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:02,892
Diane told me what's going on,
and I just have to say something.

343
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,226
Marshall,

344
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,522
you and Carla have a chance
for some great happiness here,

345
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,483
and I just don't think
you should throw it away.

346
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,943
- Sam, you don't...
- Come on, come on. Let me say this.

347
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,989
Look at me, Marshall.

348
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,866
- Look at you?
- Yeah.

349
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:19,950
Now,

350
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,454
a lot of people think
that I've got a great life.

351
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:25,831
But you have a...

352
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,210
You can have something
that I don't have. You...

353
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:32,713
You can have the love
and the warmth of a family.

354
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,926
You know, if you don't marry Carla,
some lucky guy is gonna.

355
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,304
As a matter of fact, if you don't
marry Carla, I'm going to.

356
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,185
I'm not gonna marry her.

357
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,200
I got the veil in my locker.

358
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,077
You understand that what...

359
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,913
Get out of here.

360
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,582
You're all toe jam.

361
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:24,640
You know,

362
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,059
I just feel terrible about this.

363
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,521
Well, I guess she really did want
some help with this child.

364
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,482
Yeah, she's barely getting by
just the way it is.

365
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:38,070
Carla's probably never felt lonelier
than she does at this moment.

366
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,159
Got any more of those little
yellow Goldfish crackers?

367
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,495
We don't have any crackers
that look like goldfish.

368
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,456
What'd I just eat?

369
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:54,044
You know, I wish I had the money
so I could take care of the kid myself.

370
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,379
Me too, Sam.

371
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,924
Wait. I've got a wonderful idea.

372
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,927
We are always taking up collections
for Little League teams

373
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,387
and to give gifts to orphans.

374
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,432
We are now going to take up
a collection to help Carla.

375
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,393
I think Cheers should adopt this child.

376
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,645
You know, that's not
such a stupid idea.

377
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:15,107
I mean, we could all take turns
doing things with the kid.

378
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,276
- Right. Right.
- I could teach him how to pitch.

379
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,029
Yeah. I could teach him how to
hit your pitches out of the ballpark.

380
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,323
- There you go.
- I'll do the kid's taxes.

381
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,701
- Coach, come here. Come here.
- What? What?

382
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,578
Listen, everybody, everybody.

383
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,372
This is for Carla's kid.
It's gonna be our kid.

384
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,083
Oh, yeah. I can teach him
how to slide into second base.

385
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,960
Oh, you can't, Coach.
Remember your back?

386
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,379
Well, I can teach him how to swim.

387
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,006
You're afraid of the water, Coach.

388
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:41,675
Well, I can teach him
how to tie a Windsor knot.

389
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,178
Why do you think you wear
these clip-ons?

390
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,679
Well, I can just sit there.

391
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,267
I'm going home.

392
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,102
Carla, before you do,

393
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,730
we want you to take this from us.

394
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,982
It's to help out with the kid.

395
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,277
We'd kind of like it to be our kid too.

396
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:20,381
<i>When you walk through a storm</i>

397
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:24,009
<i>Hold your head up high</i>

398
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:28,430
<i>And don't be afraid of the dark</i>

399
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,015
Everybody, come on.

400
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,769
<i>At the end of a storm</i>

401
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:37,773
<i>Is a golden light</i>

402
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:43,863
<i>And the sweet silver song of a lark</i>

403
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,493
<i>Walk on through the wind</i>

404
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,539
<i>Walk on through the rain</i>

405
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,958
<i>Though your dreams</i>

406
00:22:56,125 --> 00:23:01,088
<i>Be tossed and blown</i>

407
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:07,011
<i>Walk on, walk on</i>

408
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:11,140
<i>With hope in your heart</i>

409
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:14,977
<i>And you'll never</i>

410
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:19,231
<i>Walk alone</i>

411
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,861
<i>You'll never</i>

412
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,031
<i>Walk alone</i>