1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:05,047 Here's a little known fact: Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:10,093 Excuse me, I've got to powder my nose in the men's salon. 3 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:28,403 Hey, you know, you look a little like Tip O'Neill. 4 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,448 Yeah? You know, a lot of people say that. 5 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,201 Really, I'm a better-looking fellow than he is. 6 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,037 Oh, my God, you are Tip O'Neill! How do you do? 7 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,542 - I'm Sam Malone. - You used to throw for the Sox? 8 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,086 Yeah, that's right. What are you doing here in Cheers? 9 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:47,756 Well, I'm walking down the street, and a lady stopped me, 10 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,219 started to tell me about her philosophy of life, her philosophy of government, 11 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,638 and so I ducked in and thought I'd have a quick one. 12 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,682 Well, what can I get you here? 13 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,850 There you are! 14 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,855 Oh, Mr. Speaker, forgive me for being so relentless, 15 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,941 - but I really wanna talk-- - Diane, Diane. 16 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,819 - Step into the office for a minute. - What? I'll be right back. 17 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,320 - What is it, Sam? - No, she won't. 18 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,242 One more quick one, Coach, then I really gotta run. 19 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,869 Hey, hey, Norm, what were you saying last week 20 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,789 about that do-nothing Congress down there in DC? 21 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,416 They're a bunch of clowns. 22 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:23,875 - You think so, huh? - Yeah. 23 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,378 The average guy off the street, he could do a better job. 24 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:27,879 - No. - Sure. 25 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,008 This bozo right here could probably be a better Congressman than them. 26 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,050 Oh, yeah? 27 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,636 You know, I may run for office someday. 28 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,014 Oh, yeah. You do that. 29 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,102 You're out of work too, huh? 30 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,731 No, I'm Speaker of the House of Representatives. 31 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,775 Don't be ridiculous! 32 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,862 That'd make you Tip O'Neill, and me... 33 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,780 ...a horse's butt. 34 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,617 You said it, not me. 35 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,863 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 36 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,324 What can I do for you, Norm? 37 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,703 Well, I am gonna need something to kill time before my second beer. 38 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,040 - How about a first one? - You got it. 39 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,584 I'm glad you came in today, Norm. Big day. 40 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,794 Yeah? What's going on? 41 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,089 The Miss Boston Barmaid's Contest. They're picking the finalists today. 42 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,966 - What is it? - "What is it?" 43 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,469 Paul, it's only the biggest event of the year. 44 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,388 I mean, words can't describe it. 45 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,516 A bunch of waitresses serve drinks, and one of them wins. 46 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,226 Yeah, that's about it. 47 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,856 Coach is particularly excited today 48 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:55,068 because this year the contest is being held right here at Cheers. 49 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,611 - All right! - Yeah! 50 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:00,073 You know, I hate to burst your bubble, Coach, but the contest's a phony. 51 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,242 You gotta fool around with the judge to get in. 52 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,077 Oh, that's disgusting! 53 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,496 Yeah, and he won't return my calls. 54 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,959 Hey, everybody, I want your attention. 55 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,879 They picked the finalists for the Miss Boston Barmaid Contest, 56 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,631 and this year Cheers is gonna win. 57 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,761 Finally, they're letting in preggos! 58 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,306 No, no, no, Carla. It's not you, it's Diane. 59 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,100 - Sam, Diane's pregnant? - No, no, no. 60 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,105 - She's a finalist, Coach. - Oh, give me a copy. 61 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,276 That proves it. There is no God! 62 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,112 That little pixie. She didn't say a word about it. 63 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,906 No, no, she doesn't know anything about it. 64 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,491 I entered her without telling her. 65 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,827 Why, Sam? Just to cause me anguish? 66 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,289 Oh, all right, so she's not the best waitress in the world, 67 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,291 but she makes it in these other categories here. 68 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,960 "Perky, pert, congenial and fun." 69 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,421 And I don't? 70 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:02,052 Sweetheart, you cannot join the contest. You're pregnant. 71 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,596 So? Proves I'm congenial. 72 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,140 - Good point. - Good point. 73 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,392 Oh, hey, Sammy, here she comes. 74 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,144 All right, I want this to be a surprise. 75 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,854 Everybody pretend you don't know anything. 76 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:16,691 Coach, grab her apron and put it up here next to the paper so she sees it. 77 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,987 - Hello, everyone. - Hi, Diane. 78 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,409 You all look chipper today. What's up? 79 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:33,667 Oh, come on! I hate this. Tell me. 80 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,210 Really, it's nothing at all. 81 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,674 Something in the paper, eh? 82 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,970 "The Miss Boston Barmaid competi--" 83 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:49,307 I hate female contests with every fiber of my being. 84 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,315 Why did you want me to see this? 85 00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,402 Just to make sure you felt the same way about it that we did. 86 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,280 - Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. - Terrible. 87 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:07,534 What kind of a ninny would let herself be entered in a contest like that? 88 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,413 - This kind. - That's me! 89 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,748 Takes guts to admit it. 90 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:21,006 Who did this? Who is responsible for this? I'll kill him. 91 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:25,844 You did this. 92 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,138 That's it, Wong Song You. 93 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,517 He got killed in the Orient while trying to rescue a nun. 94 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,520 That's him. 95 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:41,151 You entered me, much as one would enter a heifer in a county fair. 96 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,321 Oh, no, no. Come on, Diane. Honey, no. 97 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,908 The judges, they just come in, they secretly watch you work, 98 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,910 - and then they pick the finalists. - Yeah. 99 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,330 In a county fair, you take the cow to the judges. 100 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,628 - Thanks a lot, Coach. - Anytime, Sam. 101 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:03,256 Hey, come on, Diane. I thought you'd be happy about this. 102 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,342 Oh, of course, of course. 103 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:09,262 I love being entered in degrading female contests. 104 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,598 Me too, but I'm always pregnant. 105 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,975 No, come on, this is not degrading. 106 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,270 I mean, in Boston this is considered a very, very big honor, Diane. 107 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,105 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Oh, big, big honor. 108 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,524 Hey, Di, I mean, it's a really big, you know... 109 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,819 It's not as big as Mail Carrier of the Year, of course, 110 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:25,946 but it's up there. 111 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,073 Mail Carrier of the Year? 112 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,867 Who do they give that to, a postman or a pigeon? 113 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,330 - Hey, watch your mouth. - It was just a joke. 114 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:40,502 Yeah? Well, don't you ever, repeat, ever joke about the US Postal Service 115 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,379 in front of me or any other mail carrier. 116 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,382 - All right? - He didn't mean anything at all by it. 117 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:49,052 Yeah. I'd like to see how fat and sassy he'd be without his daily mail, huh? 118 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,595 Easy, easy, easy. 119 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,974 I'm sorry, Norm. I just don't know what came over me. 120 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,600 That's okay. You had every right. 121 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:59,020 Well, the post office is everybody's target. 122 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:02,565 Oh, but when they want a letter fast, who do they come to on their knees? 123 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,068 - Federal Express. - He's mine! 124 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,781 Sit down! 125 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,326 Sam, these contests perpetuate the attitude 126 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,537 that women are mere objects 127 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:20,000 to be judged and ranked in respect to how well they serve man. 128 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,670 Oh, come on, lighten up, will you? Relax a little bit. 129 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,965 I mean, this is not the UN here. Have some fun. 130 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:33,054 Do you think being scrutinized, poked and prodded like a side of beef is fun? 131 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,890 Well, not every day, but on your odd Saturday night... 132 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,354 - What do you think I am? - Are you kidding me? 133 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,065 I just thought you were cute. I mean, is that such a big deal? 134 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,403 Cheers has never won this before. I thought it might be nice if we did. 135 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,531 I thought it might be nice if you won it for us. I mean, I didn't even think. 136 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,159 I just picked up the silly picture and sent it in. 137 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,703 By the way, where did you get that picture? 138 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,248 I... Well, you know, I found it. 139 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,294 Found it where? 140 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,671 Well, as a matter of fact, you were pretty careless. 141 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,214 I found it lying around in your wallet. 142 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,762 Don't you ever go through my wallet again. 143 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,805 Well, don't worry. It was pretty boring. 144 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,308 I'm sorry. if I'd known you were going through it, 145 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,476 I'd have added something interesting. 146 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,979 I have never seen anyone with so many silly pictures of themselves, 147 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,482 you with your cat, you on your pony, you by your car, 148 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,734 you by your car with your cat on your pony. 149 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,030 I'm going to call them at the contest, 150 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,158 tell them exactly what I think of this whole thing and that I won't do it. 151 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,076 No, come on. 152 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,535 Damn it! 153 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,125 Hey, Paul? 154 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,669 No hard feelings, huh? 155 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,255 No. 156 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,093 Hey, it's just that, you know, the Sears catalog came out this week, 157 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,053 and it puts kind of a strain on me. 158 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:06,648 Yes, I'd like to speak to the person in charge of female dehumanization. 159 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,567 What do you mean "speaking"? 160 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:18,201 This is in regard to the Miss Boston Barmaid Competition. 161 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,452 I am Diane Chambers, 162 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,998 and I have something to say about this contest and all contests like it. 163 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,709 I only wish the whole world could hear what I have to say. 164 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,047 There will be reporters there? 165 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,592 From all the major papers? 166 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:41,516 Well, I guess if a contestant had a few things to say, 167 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,685 this would be an excellent forum for them. 168 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,566 Yes, yes, I am every bit as cute as my picture. 169 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,902 Yeah, thank you. I'll see you at the contest. 170 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,531 Hey, Diane. 171 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,741 I just have one thing to say to you, and I mean this. 172 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,536 You stay in this contest or we're no longer friends. 173 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,205 I'm staying in the contest. 174 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,874 Wow! Really? 175 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,334 Yes. 176 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,420 Hey, Diane? 177 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,423 You go to bed with me tonight or we're no longer friends. 178 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,391 Well, I guess you can just push friendship so far. 179 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,074 Norm, hold this for me, will you, Norm? 180 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,204 - Oh, what smells great, Coach? - I just came from the barbershop. 181 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:47,790 You know, they put some of that zingy aftershave stuff. 182 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:51,085 Oh, that explains why all these flies are dying here, Coach. 183 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,797 Oh, Diane. 184 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,718 I've been to these things before, so I know what they're looking for. 185 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,180 Basically, it's personality, customer service and all that kind of thing... 186 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,350 ...but a nice appearance can't hurt, you know what I mean? 187 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,019 - Sex. - No, no, not sex. 188 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,729 Just a nice appearance, that's all. 189 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,316 For example, like, if you lowered your blouse just a little bit off your shoulders there... 190 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,444 - Absolutely not! - Hey, come on, come on. 191 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,154 Just to check it out. 192 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,281 Come on. 193 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,288 Now, that's very nice, that's very nice. 194 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,500 Maybe mess your hair up just a bit, you know. 195 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,922 That's nice. Lean against the bar here, that's good. 196 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,591 Put your elbow up here like that. 197 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,843 Wet your lips a little, pout. 198 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,852 I thought you said the judges weren't looking for sex. 199 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,271 They're not. I am. 200 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:57,944 I just checked out the old competition. They look even better up close. 201 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,781 None of those girls have got what I'm looking for, Normie. 202 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,117 - What's that? - Low standards. 203 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,791 Come clean. One minute you're against this stupid contest, 204 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,919 the next minute you're all for it. What's up? 205 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,214 You don't like this contest, do you, Carla? 206 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,800 - It's a sham. - Carla. 207 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:26,931 You'll be happy to hear I am going to bring this contest to its knees. 208 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:29,934 I like it so far. 209 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,981 When they introduce me, I'm going to make a statement 210 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,526 denouncing those responsible for this outrage. 211 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,572 Oh, I love it! I love it! 212 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,868 You know, there aren't too many things about you that I like. 213 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,287 In fact, there is nothing about you that I like. 214 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,831 But I always say, 215 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:57,086 all great friendships start with one small act of vengeance. 216 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,719 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 217 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:09,349 and welcome to the 45th annual Miss Boston Barmaid Competition. 218 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:13,686 First, each contestant will tell us a little bit about herself. 219 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,023 Yvonne? 220 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,402 Hi, I'm Yvonne. 221 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,447 I go to modeling school, and I'd like to be an artist. 222 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,333 Hi, I'm Jocelyn, and I like being a waitress. 223 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,878 I'm saving my money to travel around the world next summer. 224 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,426 Hi, I'm Bonnie, 225 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:49,180 and I have to say, I really like being just what I am, 226 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,600 a cocktail waitress in the best city in the world. 227 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,645 Boston. 228 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,078 My name is Diane Chambers, 229 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,665 and I would like one day to be known as the voice of my generation. 230 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,587 You see, I am a humanist. 231 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,256 And aren't we all? 232 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:27,301 Good luck. And if you win, we'll be seeing you on AM Boston. 233 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,636 Just let... 234 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,889 - AM Boston? - That's right. 235 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,183 They're gonna be here later to tape the announcement of the winner 236 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,685 for tomorrow morning's program. 237 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,979 Let the games begin. 238 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,816 Diane Chambers, humanist. 239 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,110 And now Yvonne will wait on the judges 240 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,195 who will ask her a set of prepared questions 241 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,406 designed to help us get to know her better. 242 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,581 Hello there. I'm Yvonne, and I'll be serving you. 243 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,708 What's your pleasure this evening, gentlemen? 244 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,170 Could you recommend something warm and sweet and perfect 245 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,504 for late in the evening? 246 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,590 Irish coffee... 247 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,675 ...or me. 248 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,490 And one gin and tonic. 249 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,582 I am moved, Cliff. I am visibly moved. 250 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,000 Gonna be tough to beat. 251 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,211 Now for our last contestant, 252 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,589 someone right from here, Cheers, Miss Diane Chambers. 253 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:55,348 Hello, I'm Diane and I'm delighted to be your waitress this evening. 254 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,059 - What can I get you? - Screwdriver, please. 255 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,311 - What kind of vodka? - Absolut, please. 256 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,939 Absolutely! 257 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,568 - Chivas rocks. - Chivas rocks. 258 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,403 - And for you, sir? - I'll have a beer. 259 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,948 - Imported or domestic? - What would you recommend? 260 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:15,284 Well, I'll find something nice for you. Be back in a jiff. 261 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,911 With pretzels. 262 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,790 - Good going. - You're doing terrific, Diane. 263 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,584 Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. You dropped some cards here. 264 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,835 Oh, never mind. 265 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,045 What is this? 266 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,465 "Women pitted against each other in a public display of servitude"? 267 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,133 Well, I don't know what it means, but it's making me hot. 268 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,556 I'll take my speech. Thank you. 269 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,559 Wait, whoa. What do you mean speech? What are you talking about? 270 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:43,813 Sam, I'm going to win this contest so I can make a speech denouncing it. 271 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,817 Oh, my God! Is that what you've been planning the whole time? 272 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,653 Sam, I have to do this. 273 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,323 I don't believe I could be so stupid. For a minute there, 274 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,617 I thought you were actually gonna be a regular person for once. 275 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,329 - I am not a regular person. - You're telling me. 276 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:06,877 Sam, someday you will realize that I am doing the right thing. 277 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,505 Well, why do you always have to do the right thing? 278 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,591 Do you see the rest of us running around doing the right thing? 279 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,675 And we're happy. 280 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,346 - May I go now? - Yeah, go on. Help yourself. 281 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,181 By the way, by the way, I just wanna say 282 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,976 that I'm really happy to see that under all this public pressure 283 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,437 we haven't seen that facial tic of yours. 284 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,608 And you won't. Mind over matter. 285 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,571 St. Pauli Girl. 286 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,699 An Absolut screwdriver. 287 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,785 Chivas rocks and pretzels. 288 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,206 Is there anything else that I can do for you? 289 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,542 Is there something wrong, miss? 290 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,545 - What do you mean? - Are you all right? 291 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:58,179 Well, I have this facial tic. 292 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:07,688 But I believe that all of us have obstacles to overcome in life. 293 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,815 And in the final analysis, 294 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,986 the true measure of greatness is the severity of obstacles 295 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,115 one has had to overcome in order to achieve one's goals. 296 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,701 I... 297 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,580 I may not be the most attractive waitress here. 298 00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,082 I may not be the most talented. 299 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,959 But I am a survivor. 300 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,672 I didn't come here to lose, I came here to win. 301 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,342 I will beat them all. I will beat any who come against me. 302 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:40,680 And as God is my witness, I will never be hungry again! 303 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,192 Ladies and gentlemen, 304 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,611 this year's Miss Boston Barmaid... 305 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,905 ...Miss Diane Chambers! 306 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,830 Congratulations, Diane. 307 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,918 - Is that AM Boston? - Yes, it is. 308 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:16,215 I really didn't expect to win this contest. It has-- 309 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,510 - Thank you, it has been quite-- - And... 310 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:20,511 It has been quite-- 311 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,932 It has been quite an experience. 312 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,811 Now I would like to tell you my feelings about this contest. 313 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,480 But before you do that, Diane, let me tell you what you've won. 314 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,734 - That's really not necessary. if there-- - Something every waitress needs, 315 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,572 a six months' worth of free dry cleaning at Ritz Cleaners. 316 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,865 Thank you. 317 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,202 Contests such as these can do nothing-- 318 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:50,040 And, for entertaining at home, a Kitchen Helper food processor. 319 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,837 Thank you. That's nice. I've always wanted one. 320 00:20:58,048 --> 00:20:59,884 But really, ladies and gentlemen, it's so important-- 321 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,262 A $200 gift certificate from Filene's department store 322 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,556 where you can pick out some new outfits 323 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:11,604 for that weeklong vacation you and a friend will be taking to Bermuda. 324 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:15,608 Bermuda? Bermuda! Oh, my God! 325 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,739 Oh, thank you! Thank you! 326 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:41,759 I sold out womankind for a trip to Bermuda. 327 00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,803 Oh, hey, come on, don't feel so bad. 328 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,930 Most people would've done it for the dry cleaning. 329 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,601 Hey, come on. 330 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,230 Look, I don't even think you did sell out. 331 00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:00,027 - Of course I did. - No, you didn't. 332 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,112 What you did was you let your feelings out. 333 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:06,325 I mean, for the first time in your life, you were spontaneous. It was great. 334 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:09,787 That's not the first time in my life I've done something spontaneous. 335 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,705 May I have my purse, please? 336 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:18,003 I enjoy being spontaneous, every now and then. 337 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:20,756 Whenever I think it's appropriate. 338 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,551 Hey, you're a maniac. 339 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,931 Okay. 340 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:35,104 Maybe I do tend to be a little uptight at times. 341 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,606 Maybe this bar is changing me. 342 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,693 Maybe the atmosphere here is starting to rub off a little. 343 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:42,111 Maybe. 344 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:49,034 And maybe, in some small way, I'm the better for it. 345 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:50,494 Maybe you are. 346 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:55,040 Maybe I should thank you. 347 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,668 Maybe you should. 348 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,421 Like how? 349 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:04,508 Forget it. Forget it. 350 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,679 Hey, hey, come on, wait, you really wanna make it up to me? 351 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:12,474 Let's go to Bermuda. You got two tickets. 352 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,853 Don't be coy. 353 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,897 All right, I know what you're talking about. 354 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,356 I've been making a lot of passes at you, 355 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,401 but I swear, you take me to Bermuda, I will be the perfect gentleman. 356 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,407 - You will? - Cross my heart. 357 00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:30,868 Then forget it.