1
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Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
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- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Sammy.

3
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- Oh, Sam.
- Yeah, what, Coach?

4
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:13,180
Listen, I think I found the answer to all
the robberies in this neighborhood.

5
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- Don't worry, I'm gonna get an alarm.
- No, no, this is much better.

6
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:20,521
This friend of mind has this huge,
I mean, gigantic attack dog.

7
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,981
But he's gotten so mean lately,
he can't handle him.

8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,068
Now, that would be perfect
protection for us from burglars.

9
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Coach, maybe so, but what are
we gonna do with one?

10
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,448
I mean, where are we
gonna keep a dog, huh?

11
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I figured the office.

12
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He's vicious.

13
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Coach, get that dog
the hell out of here.

14
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- How?
- I don't know how.

15
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How'd you get it in here
in the first place?

16
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He was in a cage when they
brought him in. But I think he ate it.

17
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,017
This is ridiculous. How am
I gonna use my office?

18
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- Excuse me, Sammy.
- What?

19
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In my profession, you
become accustomed

20
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,856
to dealing with bellicose
canine personalities.

21
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- Allow me.
- What are you gonna do, mace him?

22
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:09,945
No, no, Carla,
that's much too cruel.

23
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I find that, dealing with animals,
it's better to be kind, yet firm.

24
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Sit!

25
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He is sitting, Cliff.

26
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Nuke the beast, Sam.

27
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Gee, Sam, I'm so sorry.

28
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Coach, get on the phone. I want
the owner to get the dog out of here.

29
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The owner. The phone.

30
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- Hello, everyone.
- Goody, Diane is here.

31
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,092
This is Heather Landon,
my oldest friend.

32
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,510
Meet her this morning?

33
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That's Carla. She likes
little witty repartee.

34
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She's just not capable of it.

35
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And, Heather, I want you to meet
someone else right over here.

36
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Coach Ernie Pantusso.

37
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- How do you do, Mr. Pantusso?
- Hi, Heather.

38
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Listen, you can call me Coach,
or by my other nickname.

39
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What other nickname?

40
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Satchmo.

41
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Coach, you're thinking
of Louis Armstrong.

42
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No, but I like that even better.

43
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- Can I get you something to drink?
- Oh, coffee?

44
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- Hot coffee.
- Thank you.

45
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,346
Now, down here, these two gentlemen
are Cliff and Norman,

46
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two of our most regular regulars.

47
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,518
- Hi.
- Hiya. Pleased to do you.

48
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,356
I mean, how do I meet me?

49
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- Forget it.
- Smooth, Cliff.

50
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I hate her.

51
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,368
Diane, I love this place.
It's got a great feeling.

52
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,579
- Yeah, I knew you'd like it.
- Yeah.

53
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,373
Sam, I tried reaching
the owner. No answer.

54
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,751
Okay, thank you, Coach.

55
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,461
You can call me Louis Armstrong.

56
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,010
That must be your Samikins.

57
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,721
He is gorgeous. He's just
as you described him.

58
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- Hey.
- Hi.

59
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,977
But you didn't do justice
to his cologne.

60
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,398
And you wanted me
to switch, huh? See?

61
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:38,570
Heather Landon, meet Sam
"I Reek, Therefore I Am" Malone.

62
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,740
- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you.

63
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,202
Oh, Heather, Heather. Yeah, I've
heard Diane babble about you a lot.

64
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,789
- You grew up together, right?
- Well, practically.

65
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We were in grade school together.
Heather hasn't changed a bit.

66
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Must have been
some grade school, huh?

67
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She just moved into town.
Isn't that wonderful, Sam?

68
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,800
- That's great.
- I have to warn you, though,

69
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when the two of us get together,
we get a little goofy.

70
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,722
You should have bought one of those
big Goofys. I hear they're on sale.

71
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,768
Oh, cute and funny. I think you
got lucky this time, Diane.

72
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Yep, yep, look at that, Norm,
just like the rest of them.

73
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Hung up on looks,
personality and style.

74
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:20,362
Sam, Heather and I were best friends
in the fourth grade.

75
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We were always getting in trouble.

76
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,076
I'd hate to tell you some of
the things she got me to do.

77
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Remember the prank phone calls?

78
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:29,996
Oh, yeah, yeah.

79
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This is the WTRM Radio Contest.

80
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,795
For a trip to Hawaii, name
three cars that start with P.

81
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,464
Go ahead.

82
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,050
Porsche, Plymouth and Pontiac.

83
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No, I'm sorry. Those cars
start with gas.

84
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,445
It's pathetic.

85
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,157
Come on, Heather. I'll show
you the rest of the place.

86
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,244
It was nice meeting you, Sam.
I'm just sorry Diane got to you first.

87
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,415
Yeah, I often regret there's so many
women out there and only one of me.

88
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,169
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

89
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,422
- What's wrong, Sam?
- You kidding me, you didn't see that?

90
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,884
- See what?
- What are you talking about?

91
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,637
Guys, Diane's best friend
just came on to me.

92
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,514
You're crazy.

93
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,017
She knows you're with Diane,
so she thinks you're safe.

94
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,812
Forget about what she's saying.
I'm talking about vibrations here.

95
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:39,190
Listen, I know women.
Diane's friend wants me.

96
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,861
All right, I know a thing or two.

97
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,863
I've had experience
with this sort of thing.

98
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- You, Norm?
- Yeah.

99
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,414
When I was dating Vera, her little
sister always used to prance around

100
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,376
and wear nothing but a bikini or
flimsy little shorts or something.

101
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Yeah, she used to sit in my lap,

102
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make little jokes, whisper
in my ear how sexy I was.

103
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So I did it. I went ahead and asked
her out. She turned me down flat.

104
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- Vera know this?
- Yeah, Coach.

105
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She was there at the time.
She was really furious.

106
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,646
I bet she was. I'm surprised
she even married you.

107
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,564
Yeah, well, the ceremony
was in progress.

108
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There really wasn't much
she could do about it.

109
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No, no, no. Look, I know what
you guys are talking about,

110
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,075
but there's a lot more going
on here. Just trust me.

111
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Come on, Sam, she seems
like such a sweet kid.

112
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Yeah.

113
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Yes, well, just as every good author
has had to work

114
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among the common people
for material.

115
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Muscles.

116
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,553
Yeah. Yeah, I think Sammy's
on to something here.

117
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The woman's obviously a vixen.

118
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Look. She's undressing every man
in the bar with her eyes right now.

119
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No wonder I felt such a chill.

120
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,064
Well, that's our little pub.

121
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,401
Oh, Diane, she hasn't seen
all of it yet.

122
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,652
What?

123
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,613
- You didn't show her Sam's office.
- Oh, right.

124
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,490
- No, Carla!
- Get her!

125
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,709
Just some of that witty repartee
you love.

126
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,920
Carla, that was a lousy thing to do.

127
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,135
What the hell is that?

128
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:35,390
It's an attack dog a friend of mine
gave me, Diane. He's good, huh?

129
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,393
Excellent.

130
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,520
- Coach, get on the phone right away.
- The phone.

131
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,441
- Diane, are you all right?
- Oh, yes.

132
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,900
You trained me well.

133
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,112
- Listen, I've really gotta be going.
- Oh, right.

134
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,782
But now, you and I and Sam
will have dinner tonight.

135
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,242
I am going to cook.

136
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:55,952
Why?

137
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,705
Well, to celebrate.

138
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,874
Now that Heather's
gonna be living here,

139
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,793
I want the three of us to
become really good friends.

140
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,965
And I have a special recipe to try.
My own Veal Oscar.

141
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That's the award you get if
you can act like you like it.

142
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,807
Heather, do you mind hanging
on here just for a second?

143
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,810
- I wanna talk to Diane in private.
- Oh, sure, sure.

144
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,813
- Oh, I know what you're gonna do.
- What? Yeah, right.

145
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,900
- I'll just go finish my coffee.
- Okay, all right.

146
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:28,818
- Sam?
- Yeah, what?

147
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,529
- No answer yet.
- Yeah, just keep trying. Keep trying.

148
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,364
Look, sweetheart--

149
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,533
Hey, hey, come on.

150
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,245
Listen, Heather's okay
and all that,

151
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:43,708
but I don't think we should hang out
together too much, if you don't mind.

152
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,418
Why not?

153
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,422
Well, I just don't think the two of us
hit it off that well.

154
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,884
You hit it off great.
She says she's nuts about you.

155
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,720
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
I bet she did, I bet she did.

156
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,722
Listen, sweetheart, I didn't
wanna have to tell you this

157
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:03,603
because you're pals and all that, but
she's coming on to me gangbusters.

158
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,482
What are you looking
at me like that for?

159
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,068
I can't believe you're saying this.

160
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,612
Well, I'll tell you something else.
I need a little help here

161
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,698
because I don't have that much
experience saying no to women.

162
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,785
I mean, the closest I've ever
gotten is, "Not now, we're landing."

163
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,081
Hey, I'm just telling you this
because I think

164
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,375
you ought to keep the two
of us apart, that's all.

165
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,046
- What?
- This is staggering.

166
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:34,425
Do you think that every woman
you see is attracted to you?

167
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:38,096
Honey, I've had enough women come
on to me to know when it's happening.

168
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,432
- And it's happening.
- Well, I guess there's

169
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,810
only one way to convince you.

170
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,395
Heather?

171
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,523
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
Diane. Whoa, hey, come on.

172
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,317
- I'm going to ask her.
- Oh, no, please. Don't do that, please!

173
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,153
I'm sorry.

174
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,489
I'm sorry if it embarrasses you,
but it serves you right. Heather?

175
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,451
Honey, I'm sorry if this will
make you uncomfortable,

176
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,287
but I wanna get this out of the way

177
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:07,667
so that the three of us can proceed
to form a lasting friendship.

178
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:13,882
Sam just now mistook
your innocent flirtation

179
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,134
for a sexual overture.

180
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,804
Will you please explain to him
your real feelings?

181
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,264
Certainly.

182
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,270
Sam, I want you,
and I don't care who knows it.

183
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,106
What?

184
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:31,816
Gotcha!

185
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,988
You are a very attractive man,

186
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,948
but for me to give up
my friendship with Diane,

187
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,491
you'd have to be rich too.

188
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,410
- See you tonight for dinner. Bye.
- See you later.

189
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,789
No, ma'am, I'm sorry.
Those cars start with gas.

190
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,332
Gas!

191
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:34,003
- Let's call your mother now.
- Get out of here!

192
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,051
Whitey, Whitey, Whitey.

193
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,012
You're making a mistake.

194
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,556
What do you mean?

195
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,519
That so-called friend of yours
is hot for Sam.

196
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,439
You too? Everyone here is insane.
Why would you think that?

197
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,983
Because Sam thinks it.

198
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,277
Not anymore, he doesn't.

199
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,154
No, I trust his first instincts.

200
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,366
When it comes to dames,
Sam's got, like, an antenna

201
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,869
that picks up things that
you and I miss. Yeah.

202
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:10,123
It's like when dogs and cats know
when an earthquake is coming.

203
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,541
Nobody could explain that.

204
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:15,753
That's simple. You see, there are
fissures and cracks on the surface of--

205
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,879
Your brain.

206
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,135
Please, don't distract Diane
from her suffering.

207
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,888
Diane, believe me,
you're being dense.

208
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,017
If Sam says that woman
is hot for him, bank on it.

209
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,856
Oh, it's ludicrous.

210
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,446
You know, the more I think about this,
the more I'm looking forward to tonight.

211
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,782
I've never had a woman
as just a friend before.

212
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,909
I think this would be
really good for me.

213
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,579
Tonight?

214
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:53,124
Yeah, tonight. Remember, you're
cooking that Oscar Meyer thingy?

215
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:59,255
Veal Oscar. Sam, I've had
second thoughts about that.

216
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,842
Did you know that veal
comes from baby cows?

217
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,764
If you think that I would take part
in such a senseless slaughter--

218
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,892
Hey, hey, have whatever you want.
Open a can of beans.

219
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,643
The important thing is
getting to know Heather.

220
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:17,106
I think just being friends
with a sexy woman like Heather

221
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,108
is a big step in my maturity.

222
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,276
- Hey, Sam?
- Yeah?

223
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,695
We gotta get into that office
to get to the stock.

224
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,115
We've run out of gin,
and the Kahlúa martinis aren't moving.

225
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:30,119
Sam, you know, I don't think it's right
to ask you to come to dinner

226
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,662
when you've got so much
on your mind.

227
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,207
- You know, this dog and everything.
- Hey, don't worry about the dog.

228
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,126
- I'll take care of the dog right now.
- I'm one step ahead of you, Sammy.

229
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,216
Yeah, mix a little complimentary
cocktail for the mutt.

230
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,592
All right.

231
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,511
Yeah, I finally got a hold
of the owner, Sam.

232
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,721
And he said booze
calms him right down.

233
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,848
- Oh, good, good.
- I just hope the guy's thirsty.

234
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,725
Now, be careful here.

235
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,706
Oh, look at him.

236
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,961
- He's just a big puppy dog.
- Hey, hey, whoa.

237
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,380
Yes, you're a big doggie.
Yes, you are.

238
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,425
- There's only one problem, Sam.
- Yeah, what?

239
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,219
The owner said that booze
makes the dog very amorous.

240
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,304
Oh, yeah? Right.

241
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,891
Oh, good boy.
Yes, he's a good boy.

242
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,852
Oh, wait, hey, not that good.

243
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,526
Come on in, Heather.

244
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,404
- Hi.
- Hi.

245
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,533
Oh, something smells great.

246
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,411
Why, thank you. Dinner's almost
ready. Make yourself at home.

247
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,745
All right. Thank you.

248
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,750
- Well, what do you think?
- About what?

249
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,463
About this dress. I just bought it
today. I saw it and I had to have it.

250
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,008
Why did you buy a dress
today of all days?

251
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,386
You come into the bar,
you meet everybody

252
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,181
and go out and get a 'come get me"
dress. Explain yourself.

253
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,975
I just saw it today.

254
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:23,065
Oh, of course you did what anyone
in your position would have done.

255
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,902
- Diane, is everything all right?
- Yes. Yes.

256
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,528
- You sure?
- Yes, of course.

257
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,947
- Okay.
- Back to work.

258
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,036
- I sure like Sam.
- Slut!

259
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,881
- What?
- I said, "Thanks a lot."

260
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:51,010
Oh, you're welcome.

261
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,975
- Sam?
- Malone, one for dinner.

262
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:03,397
- Do you have reservations?
- Plenty of them, but I came anyway.

263
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,234
- How you doing? Oh, here you go.
- Oh, nice, thanks.

264
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,402
Hey, buddy.

265
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,988
- Hey, Sam, how you doing?
- Good.

266
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,450
I want to... I wanna apologize
for this afternoon.

267
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,827
I was a little... I was a little crazy.

268
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,664
Here you go. But I think...

269
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,541
I think the three of us

270
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,834
are gonna be real good friends now,
don't you think?

271
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,836
- Yeah, I think so too.
- Yeah.

272
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,838
Yeah, me too.
Well, let's get to dinner.

273
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,215
Whoa, what's the rush?

274
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,843
Well, the sooner we begin,
the sooner we can finish.

275
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,097
And then we can be finished.

276
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,784
- Isn't friendship great?
- Yeah.

277
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,997
What's that saying about
friends and lovers?

278
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,749
Oh yeah, friends and lovers...

279
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,002
"Don't leave home without them."

280
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:10,089
Very funny. Oh, you're ticklish.
You're ticklish. Oh, you are!

281
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,092
- Well, sure.
- No, no, please! Please, no.

282
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,677
Dinner time!

283
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,766
Well, you don't have to shout.
We can hear you, you know.

284
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,977
Yes, of course.

285
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771
Hunger makes me wanna shout.

286
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,398
Well, come on.

287
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,818
- Stay back.
- Sorry I don't have place cards.

288
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,863
Oh, that's all right. We'll just put Sam
in the middle so we can share him.

289
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,990
- Okey-doke.
<i>- Excusez-moi.</i>

290
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,034
You know, I think this
is gonna be great.

291
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,661
Just the three of us,
three good friends.

292
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,997
Yeah. Like Porthos, Athos
and Aramis.

293
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,333
- There you go.
- Well, I don't think Sam

294
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,543
- knows that reference.
- Hey, hey, hey.

295
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,670
I may not read books,
but I know good music.

296
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,839
Supremes, right?

297
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,093
- Fabulous.
- Hey, yeah, sometimes I surprise her.

298
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,803
I bet you do.

299
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,181
Okay, well, here we go.

300
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,059
I hope you didn't have
spaghetti for lunch.

301
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,020
I thought we were having Veal Oscar.

302
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,356
There are remnants of it
in the sauce.

303
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,777
I thought we weren't gonna do
anything with veal.

304
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,364
Well, this sucker was already dead.

305
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,701
- Well, it looks divine, Diane.
- Oh, thanks.

306
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,244
<i>Bon appètit.</i>

307
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,626
Diane, remember the way we used
to eat "pasghetti" when we were kids?

308
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,877
No.

309
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,338
Like this.

310
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,268
Oh, that was good. That was good.

311
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,437
All right, all right, let me try.

312
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,155
You got some sauce
on your blouse there.

313
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,785
- Thanks for your discretion.
- Yeah.

314
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,705
This is wonderful spaghetti.

315
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,919
And the pasta is cooked just perfect.

316
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:15,256
- Oh, yeah.
- It's firm, yet it yields to the bite.

317
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,591
That's exactly the way
it should be. Here.

318
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,927
- Oh, yeah.
- Take a bite off the end of this.

319
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,762
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Here, here, try mine.

320
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,098
- Oh, yours?
- Yeah.

321
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,017
- There you go.
- Oh, yours is good too.

322
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,603
Oh, boy.

323
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,989
This garlic bread is magnificent.

324
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,075
- Yeah--
- Here, wait, here, have some of mine.

325
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,910
Hot, hot, hot.

326
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,621
You don't even have to chew it.

327
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,082
You just set it in your mouth,
and it melts.

328
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,170
Good eats, good eats.

329
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,424
You have a little sauce
right there on the--

330
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,384
Here? I don't wanna waste it.

331
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,844
No, the other side there.

332
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,013
There. Right there.

333
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,057
Stop it!

334
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,019
Stop it right now! I mean it, Heather!

335
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,271
- What?
- What?

336
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:18,027
You know what.
You know perfectly well what.

337
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,987
You think I don't know
what's going on here?

338
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,947
Spaghetti sauce, bread.

339
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,033
Have you no shame?

340
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,412
Diane, what the hell's
the matter with you?

341
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,873
I know what that was all about.

342
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,043
You think I don't know
what noodles mean in sexual lingo?

343
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,796
And sauce?

344
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006
I read my Freud.

345
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,176
Diane, we were just enjoying the meal.

346
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,637
Oh, don't give me that.
That meal's inedible.

347
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,765
You know something?

348
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,769
You're doing the same thing I did
this afternoon, and you called me nuts.

349
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,774
No, no, no, Sam, it's all right.

350
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,150
It's not surprising.

351
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,653
It's just, I'm a very sort of friendly
and outgoing person,

352
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,446
and sometimes people misinterpret it.

353
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,949
I'm just very surprised
it came from you, Diane.

354
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,659
Yeah, me too.

355
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:17,336
Oh, Heather, what am I saying?
I must really be paranoid, mustn't I?

356
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:22,258
Oh, it's happened to me before.

357
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:26,095
- It's happened to everyone before.
- Heather...

358
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,807
I'm so sorry.

359
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,101
She didn't mean it, Heather.

360
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,607
How can you be eating now?

361
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,319
I've eaten through worse than this.

362
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,742
Well...

363
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,537
- Goodbye.
- Heather, where are you going?

364
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,872
You're not leaving, are you?

365
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,375
Well, paranoid or not,
I'm obviously making Diane uncomfortable.

366
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,336
Honestly, no.

367
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:08,387
Our friendship is the most
important friendship in my life.

368
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:14,310
And I would never, never do anything
to intentionally hurt it.

369
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,395
Please, forgive me and stay.

370
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:22,401
Of course.
I couldn't throw away 20 years.

371
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,116
Oh, that's beautiful.

372
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,745
You know, I just want to thank you
for letting me be part of this.

373
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,790
- That was very sweet.
- Oh, Sam. You are so sweet.

374
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,083
Oh, hey, well...

375
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,715
Yeah, hey.