1
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Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
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- Hello, everyone.
- Oh, hi, Diane.

3
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Hey, Coach.

4
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You know how Sam
is always complaining

5
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that I'm not spontaneous?

6
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Yeah, he always goes something like,

7
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"Diane, can't you be
more spontaneous?"

8
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At any rate, it really irritates me.

9
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It irritates me too,
especially when he goes like that.

10
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Coach,

11
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Sam doesn't do that, you do that.

12
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That doesn't make it
any less irritating.

13
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Today, I am going to do something
unequivocally spontaneous.

14
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- May I have the phone, please?
- Spontaneous phone.

15
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A classmate in my Samoan Literature class

16
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told me about a 200-year-old country inn

17
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,931
hidden in an island
off the coast of Maine

18
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that you have to be ferried to.

19
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By the time the weekend is over,

20
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he'll think of the Pequod as our place.

21
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Yes, I'd like a room for Malone.

22
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,157
Yes, that's right. Sam Malone.

23
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His usual room?

24
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,204
Diane, if you're looking
for a place to stay,

25
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,206
there's a lovely little inn
up in Vermont

26
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my wife and I used to drive to
all the time.

27
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,753
- What inn?
- In my station wagon.

28
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Diane, Vera and I once went
to this really beautiful,

29
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romantic old place called
the Fairview in New Hampshire.

30
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- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, really romantic.

31
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I mean, they don't have
any telephones or televisions.

32
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Just have these old fireplaces
and these romantic, old featherbeds--

33
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Antiques, I think.

34
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So you really have to snuggle
right up there to your loved one.

35
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Best part about it for me was they had

36
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this beautiful old, romantic
circular driveway, you know?

37
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So I didn't even have to stop.

38
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I just rolled through and yelled,
"Cancel Peterson."

39
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Hey, everybody.

40
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,419
- Oh, Sam.
- Hi, Sam.

41
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,965
How would you like to go away
with me this weekend

42
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- to a country inn?
- What inn?

43
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You're welcome to use
my station wagon.

44
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- Excuse me?
- It's a long story.

45
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:49,479
I haven't decided where we'll stay yet,
but I want to pick a place

46
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you've never been.
And we'll leave tonight.

47
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,484
Okay, everybody, listen up.

48
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,611
I am in the worst mood
of my entire life,

49
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so watch out, don't bug me
and stay out of my way.

50
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This is the only warning
you're gonna get.

51
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Oh, come on, Carla,
turn that frown upside down.

52
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Carla!

53
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,169
- Carla!
- Come on! Carla! Carla!

54
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Come on. Easy. Easy.

55
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Come on. Take it--
Go easy! Come on.

56
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Come on.

57
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Come on.

58
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Norman, are you all right?

59
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I'm just glad I could be here for her.

60
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Something's really
bothering Carla, huh?

61
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The man knows women.

62
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Listen, maybe one of us
should go in there and talk to her, huh?

63
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- Who?
- All right.

64
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I'm thinking of a number
between one and ten.

65
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Now stop showing off,
will you, Cliff ie?

66
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We got a real problem here.

67
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Coach, I'll go in and talk to her.

68
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I may be a little while here
and I don't wanna be disturbed,

69
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so if I get any phone calls,
just take a message.

70
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Hello. I'm Dr. Paul Kendall.

71
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,646
I'm a licensed psychotherapist

72
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specializing in violent situations
and crisis behavior.

73
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I can help that woman.

74
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Excuse me.

75
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Hello, Carla.
My name is Dr. Paul Kendall.

76
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I'm a licensed psychotherapist.

77
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Oh, hey.

78
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- You all right?
- I never saw her coming.

79
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I think she dropped from the ceiling.

80
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,008
Why don't you just
sit down over there.

81
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- We'll buy you a drink.
- Okay, that's it. I'll take over.

82
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,181
- Coach, maybe--
- I'll do it. Let me do it, Sam.

83
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Listen, I know Carla. I know Carla
like the back of my hand.

84
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What the hell is that?

85
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I never noticed that before.

86
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Coach, maybe you ought to
let her cool down.

87
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Cliff ie, what's this
on the back of my hand?

88
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,827
I think...

89
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,080
...that Carla, very likely,

90
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has the kind of problem with which
only another woman can help.

91
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,425
Carla? This is Diane.

92
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There really is such a thing
as sisterhood.

93
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Come on in.

94
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We women stand together.

95
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,564
I think even leaders of nations
could learn a great deal...

96
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,484
...by observing the women of America--

97
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Look, you always claim you know
the answers to everything.

98
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Well, I'm calling your bluff.

99
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I am going to give you a chance
to handle my problem.

100
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I'll give you 30 seconds.

101
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If you blow it,
I am sending you back out there,

102
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and your face stays here.

103
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Fair enough.

104
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My ex-husband
is getting remarried tonight.

105
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Here's the invite.

106
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:16,603
How terrible for you.
I understand completely.

107
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You've never really stopped
loving him.

108
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I can see this invitation is soaked
with your tears.

109
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That's my spit.

110
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I don't love that rat,
and I never did.

111
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Sure, there were little things
that I loved about him,

112
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like the way he flexed his tattoo.

113
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The way the hair grew in his ears.

114
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The way he drooled in bed.

115
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Carla...

116
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...are you sure there's nothing left
between you?

117
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Nothing.

118
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I'm just ticked
because he's marrying the dish,

119
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and he's rubbing my nose in it.

120
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He even sent a picture of her
with the invitation. Get a load of that.

121
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She's naked.

122
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So? So is he.

123
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I thought he was wearing
mohair pajamas.

124
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Anyway, he's got this
foxy new broad,

125
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,932
and I can't even get a date
for his wedding.

126
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,059
I thought you were seeing someone.

127
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His fingerprints grew back.
He had to leave the country.

128
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,941
Well, then take someone else.

129
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,736
If you want to play this game with Nick,

130
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:51,239
then take somebody
and pretend he's your fella.

131
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,034
Someone who will make Nick jealous.

132
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,871
That's good.

133
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Someone tall and handsome. A hunk.

134
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- Maybe Sam--
- Great idea! I'm saved. I'm saved!

135
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--Knows somebody.
Maybe Sam knows somebody.

136
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,094
Sam. Sam, Diane had this great idea.

137
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,513
- No, I didn't.
- Don't be modest.

138
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,975
Nick is getting remarried tonight.

139
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- So that's what this is all about, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.

140
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,272
Well, anyway, Diane said
that you should be my date

141
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,609
for the wedding tonight
to show Nick that I'm better than he is.

142
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,153
No, I didn't. It's a lunatic idea.

143
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,613
Hey, hey, honey, listen.

144
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,032
- I'm going away for the weekend.
- That's right.

145
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,825
Why don't you pick
somebody else here?

146
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:39,662
I'm strapped for time and, besides,
you're the best-looking guy in this bar.

147
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- Got you there.
- Best-looking guy in the city.

148
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- Best-looking guy in the state.
- No, he's not.

149
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As a matter of fact,
there's a great-looking guy

150
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,839
who used to drink in here.
I think his name was Clifford Clavin.

151
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,009
Hey. I'm Clifford Clavin.

152
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,888
Oh, my God.
What did you do to yourself?

153
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:03,853
- He used to look like Tyrone Power.
- You mean, I lost my looks?

154
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,606
No, I think you're thinking of
Cliff Clemens.

155
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,733
You've never looked
any better than this.

156
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,277
That's a relief. Thank you, Norm.

157
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,490
Hello, Carla.

158
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,287
Oh, my God, it's Nick.

159
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,872
I'll be with you in a minute.

160
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:26,543
What do you say, Sammy?
Please, please, please.

161
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,545
Carla. Carla.

162
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,256
It would be a transparent charade.

163
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:34,467
Carla, I-- I'm not-- Hey, come on,
I know how you and Nick are.

164
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,469
I don't wanna get in the middle of that.

165
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,013
Thanks a lot.

166
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,274
Nick. What are you doing here?

167
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,067
I had a feeling you weren't
gonna show up at the wedding.

168
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:55,655
And I want you to meet
my fiancée, Loretta,

169
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,909
and see for yourself
that the photos were not retouched.

170
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,374
More than I can say for Loretta.

171
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,252
Watch your mouth.

172
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,589
Loretta, this is Carla,

173
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,550
who I divorced for obvious reasons.

174
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,680
Look, Nick, I'm gonna make your day.

175
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,808
You're right. I am not coming
to your wedding.

176
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,269
No. I'm aghast.

177
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,105
- You knew it the whole time.
- Sure I knew.

178
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:32,066
You wouldn't wanna be humiliated
with all those people whispering,

179
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,819
"Boy, look how much better
Nick did this time."

180
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,740
Carla, honey, are you sure
you won't change your mind?

181
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,242
I think we could have a lot of fun
at this wedding.

182
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,412
What about the weekend
in the country?

183
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:48,041
Well, you two can go away
after the ceremony.

184
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,335
This wedding's special.

185
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,794
What do you say, huh?

186
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,214
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

187
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,426
- You and Sam, you're a couple?
- Well, yeah.

188
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:02,096
She put up quite a fight,
but I finally got her.

189
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,058
Sam, I thought you was cool.

190
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,899
That's us, honey. I guess the cabby's
getting tired of waiting.

191
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,484
Yeah, I don't wanna make him angry.

192
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:19,572
- See you two at the wedding, huh?
- Yeah, we'll be there, Nick.

193
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,491
This is eerie.

194
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,453
- Thank you, Sam. Thank you.
- Okay?

195
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,914
You sure this is okay with you, Diane?

196
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,499
Certainly.

197
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,169
It really stirred my ire
just watching that bait bucket.

198
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,506
I know.

199
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,967
He still has it, doesn't he?

200
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,774
Boy, I don't know how to thank
you guys for hanging around here.

201
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,360
You know, I always get so nervous
when Sam isn't here

202
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,320
and I have to cash out by myself.

203
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,948
- You came pretty close tonight.
- How close, Normie?

204
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,826
You're only off $16,000.

205
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:09,038
I never had an accounting course
in my life.

206
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,040
Yeah, you just got a flair for it, Coach.

207
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,250
Thanks, Normie.

208
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,045
Coach, listen, I'm going home to pack.

209
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,672
When Sam gets back
from the wedding,

210
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,925
- will you tell him something for me?
- Sure, honey, good night.

211
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,638
Coach, I didn't tell you what to tell him.

212
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,140
Well, I'll think of something.

213
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,144
Tell him that I'll be back
as soon as I'm packed,

214
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,812
and we'll leave on our trip.

215
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,315
- We'll tell him.
- Good night.

216
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,735
So I'm not a pretty boy.

217
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,199
My father wasn't a pretty boy either.

218
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,702
- He was a beautiful man, Norm.
- Oh, yeah.

219
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,037
- You know what I'm talking about?
- Absolutely.

220
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,998
I mean, beautiful inside.

221
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,877
Just a beautiful-- If you could've seen
that man's insides...

222
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,129
Yeah, next time he has an operation,
let me know.

223
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,800
Hey, how was the wedding?

224
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,720
- Oh, it was so great.
- Yeah?

225
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:10,224
Normie, if there is such a thing
as perfect, this was better.

226
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,392
Yeah?

227
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,687
- Sam kept putting his arm around me.
- Yeah.

228
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,772
- Hugging me.
- Yeah.

229
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,524
- Whispering in my ear.
- So did Nick notice?

230
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,903
Notice? During the ceremony,
he threw the ring at us

231
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,613
and yelled, "Pay attention!"

232
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:30,453
So, Coach,
how did we do tonight, huh?

233
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:34,290
Well, the total's a little off,
Sam, you know.

234
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,125
Twenty, 30,000?

235
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,045
- Sixteen.
- Hey!

236
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,508
Way to go, guy.
You're bucking for a promotion here.

237
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,260
If it happens, it happens.

238
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,304
- Good night, guys.
- Good night, Coach.

239
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,848
- Good night, Sam.
- Good night, Coach.

240
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,851
- Where's--? Where's Diane?
- Oh, yeah, she said she's packing.

241
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,020
- She'll be back shortly.
- Thank you.

242
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,188
Hey, Cliff, come on.

243
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,941
You've had a lot to drink tonight.
What do you say I drive you home?

244
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,609
Normie, that's great of you.

245
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,236
- You're a real friend.
- That's right.

246
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,780
- You're just a pal when you need one.
- Yeah.

247
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,367
You're a swell-- If I ever have kids,
I'm gonna name them after you, Norm.

248
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,827
Even if they're girls.

249
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,788
Please, I'm just gonna give you
a ride home.

250
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,207
Yeah, but I'm gonna throw up
in your car.

251
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,170
- Coffee, Carla?
- Yeah, thanks.

252
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,922
Sam, you were the greatest tonight.

253
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,007
I gotta thank you
for putting up with all that.

254
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,385
Are you kidding me?
I had a terrific time.

255
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,346
Somebody should've
said something to Nick.

256
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,349
He went through the whole ceremony
with his fly open.

257
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,226
No, he knew.

258
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,521
It's a tradition in his family.
Sign of fertility.

259
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,401
Didn't you notice his father?
And all the ushers?

260
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,530
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, well, that explains it.

261
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,991
I thought it was because the building
was a little stuffy.

262
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,285
In fact, I flirted with the idea myself.

263
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,622
- You know something, Carla?
- What?

264
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,709
- You surprised me tonight.
- Why?

265
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,254
I never realized just how much
you know about me.

266
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,423
All those stories about my career.

267
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,758
I mean, you know more stories
about me than I do.

268
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,386
I had to make it look
like the real thing.

269
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,847
Besides, I know everything
about you, Malone.

270
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,892
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Your favorite color is blue.

271
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,562
Your favorite hobby is sailing.
Your favorite food is Chinese.

272
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,106
And your taste in women
is not what it used to be.

273
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,193
Right across the board.

274
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,361
- You do know me.
- A lot better than you know me.

275
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,863
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

276
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,532
Your favorite meal
is Chicken McNuggets.

277
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,536
Your favorite hobby
is drawing underarm hair

278
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,997
on all the models
in <i>Vogue</i> magazine.

279
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,923
And your favorite movie
is <i>Lady and the Tramp.</i>

280
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,718
And you always cry when they come to
the part where they eat the spaghetti.

281
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,096
I didn't think anybody knew that.

282
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,892
I'll tell you something else about you
that you didn't think I knew.

283
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,895
- What?
- You go to Mass every Sunday.

284
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,064
- Who squealed on me?
- See? See?

285
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,900
I was just guessing, but that goes
to show you how well I do know you.

286
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,902
Hey, this conversation's
getting a little soppy.

287
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,529
Why don't we talk about
something else?

288
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,905
- Baseball.
- Nicky. Nick.

289
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,865
- Oh, my God.
- Nick!

290
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,743
- We're gonna miss the bus.
- Keep your pants on.

291
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,620
This'll only take five minutes.

292
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,249
We got forever together.

293
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,337
You know, the way you two
was carrying on at my wedding,

294
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,965
all lovey-dovey and all that,

295
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,592
I wanna know, how long has this thing
been going on between you two?

296
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,803
- What's it to you?
- Answer the question.

297
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,057
You been seeing him
while we were married?

298
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,228
No. I was always faithful to you.

299
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,647
You seeing Loretta
when we were married?

300
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,691
What am I, on trial here?

301
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,571
The important thing is, if you were
seeing him when we was married...

302
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,614
...our marriage was a lie.

303
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,784
You know, Nick, you know,
she's taken enough abuse from you.

304
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,828
If you don't knock it off,
I'm gonna take you outside,

305
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,246
and I'm gonna teach you
some manners.

306
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,415
This will be great! Nick's a bleeder.

307
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,419
I wanna talk to you.

308
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,963
- What about?
- It's private.

309
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,924
- Go on.
- All right.

310
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,679
Make it quick.

311
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,641
I want you back.

312
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,148
Nick, you just got married.

313
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,525
Your bride is standing over there.

314
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,236
Easy come, easy go.

315
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,405
I'll lose her in the bus station.
That's where I found her.

316
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,327
Nick, are you nuts?

317
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,079
You still got wedding cake
in the corners of your mouth.

318
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,957
I don't know what it is,
but every time I looked at you today,

319
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,794
I said to myself,
"Carla's not so bad."

320
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,130
Maybe I was making a mistake.

321
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,091
I don't know what it is.

322
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,886
What do you say, Carla?

323
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,849
I know what it is.

324
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,061
You saw me with Sam today.

325
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,605
You saw that somebody else wanted me,

326
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,398
so you wanted me back.

327
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,653
Well, forget it. I wouldn't make
the same mistake twice.

328
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,906
Sure, I'll forget it.
If you can forget this.

329
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,161
So how's married life
treating you, huh?

330
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,790
Oh, I don't feel so different.

331
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,881
So, what do you say, Carla?

332
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,802
Nothing, Nick.

333
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,096
The magic is gone.

334
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,391
I got myself a better guy.

335
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,144
I took a shot. Loretta, you're up.

336
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,564
By the way, I don't appreciate
your coming to the wedding

337
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,525
in the dress that you married me in.

338
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,945
Boy, am I primed for this honeymoon.

339
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,042
So come on. What happened?
What did he say?

340
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:15,881
He crawled to me, Sam,
and I stepped on his heart.

341
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,885
All right, Carla. That's terrific.
You must feel great.

342
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,306
Hey, come on. What's this all about?

343
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,517
Hey, listen, you're on top.

344
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,978
He came back begging,
and you beat him.

345
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,772
What are you so upset about?

346
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,735
I didn't beat him.

347
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,114
He only wanted me
because he thought you did.

348
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,285
What he has is real.

349
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:50,082
All I have is a lie.
And my life is terrible.

350
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:54,587
Hey, come on, Carla.

351
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,341
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.

352
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,992
Well...

353
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,915
You know what that was, don't you?

354
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:32,958
No, do you?

355
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:37,296
- I think so.
- Good. What was it?

356
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:43,302
Well, we've been together all afternoon
and all over each other.

357
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,971
It was just a natural thing to do.

358
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,808
That wasn't it.

359
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,352
Well, what was it?

360
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,479
It was a pity kiss.

361
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:58,275
I've gotten them. I've given them.
I know what they are.

362
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:01,445
- So have I, and that wasn't one.
- Then what was it?

363
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,076
Well, maybe we just wanted to find out
what it would be like.

364
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,538
Maybe.

365
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,166
So, what was it like?

366
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,504
What was it like for you?

367
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,715
I've had better.

368
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,637
- Well, I haven't.
- I know.

369
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:32,977
Well...

370
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,314
...whatever it was, it's--
It's over now.

371
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,316
Yeah.

372
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,653
Ain't gonna let that get in the way
of a good friendship, huh?

373
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,590
If it picks you up any,
I never had a better handshake.

374
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:08,762
Hi, guys.

375
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,685
- Well, what happened?
- Oh, it was great.

376
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:17,062
We made a shambles of the wedding.

377
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,232
- Great.
- Yeah, Diane, I wanna thank you.

378
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,903
Sam, tonight the three of us
joined together

379
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:28,324
and were able to make
another human being eat his liver.

380
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,202
Life, I love you.

381
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:35,080
Good night.

382
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,002
Well, Sam, I'm ready for our weekend.

383
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,212
You sure you got everything?

384
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,924
I believe in being prepared.

385
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,427
With all this luggage,
I hope you didn't forget to pack

386
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:52,306
that frilly, black baby-doll nightie
I love so much.

387
00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:55,434
I'm sorry, Sam. It's at the cleaner's.

388
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,270
Couldn't you wear something else?

389
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,482
Just this once?

390
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,443
Okay, but if I don't like it,
we come right home.

391
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,694
Okay.