1 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:20,521 Gee, anytime I hear "A Foggy Day in Old London Town," I think of my wife. 2 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,649 Was that--? Was that your song, Coach? 3 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,193 No, but Sinatra sang that, Sam, 4 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,947 and it always reminds me of that movie, From Here to Eternity. 5 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,450 You took her to see that on your first date, huh, Coach? 6 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,119 No, that movie reminds me of Hawaii. 7 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,414 You and your wife met in Hawaii? 8 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,253 No, I've never been to Hawaii, Diane. Neither has Wally Engels. 9 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,630 I'll take it. 10 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,341 Coach, who's Wally Engels? 11 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,511 An old pal of mine in the Navy. He introduced me to my wife. 12 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,016 Boy, that's some memory you got there, Coach. 13 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,184 Yeah, huh, Sam. 14 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:10,070 Now that song brings back some great memories for me. 15 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,114 Oh, yeah? Really? What? 16 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,908 They were playing it the day my daughter got married. 17 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:17,786 Yeah? 18 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,164 That's all. 19 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,919 We sure get them in here, don't we, Sam? 20 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:47,167 - Hello, Sam. - Hey, Becky. 21 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,169 Boy, long time no see, huh? 22 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,546 Yeah, I finally got transferred back to Boston. 23 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,549 I really missed this city and a lot of its landmarks. 24 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,886 Speaking of which, when do you get off? 25 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,597 Oh, I don't get off anymore, Becky. 26 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,185 What-- 27 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:09,272 What I meant by that was Diane and I are going together here. 28 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,774 - Who? - Oh, I'm sorry. 29 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,526 Diane Chambers, this is Becky Hawley. 30 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,903 - Hi, Becky. - Hi, Diane. 31 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,822 Diane and I have been going together now-- 32 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:17,948 Oh, what? 33 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,741 Nine, ten months. 34 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,368 Four. 35 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,370 Whatever. 36 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,207 I'm really glad to see you have such a nice thing going, Sam. 37 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:32,170 Although, I must say, I will miss the fun that we used to have. 38 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,881 Well, I got something a lot better than fun now. 39 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:38,009 I got good, solid pleasantness. 40 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,472 - You're a real rush yourself. - Yeah. 41 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:45,892 - Oh, I didn't mean to upset anyone. - Oh, Becky, you didn't. 42 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,228 I've come to terms with Sam's past. 43 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,398 It doesn't bother me a bit. Besides, I'm not the jealous type. 44 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,235 - Well, Sam, I guess I'll be seeing you. - Yeah, good to see you again. 45 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,903 You too. 46 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,905 Hey, why don't you-- 47 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,409 Why don't you let me walk you to your car, huh? 48 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:08,123 Or on second thought, maybe I'll just stand behind the bar here for a while. 49 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,002 - I liked her. - Yeah, I'll bet. 50 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,636 Have an accident, Sam, or are you just glad to see me? 51 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,224 Both, Coach. 52 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,144 Two Cutty rocks, Sam. 53 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,980 - Norm is late again today. - Yeah, I noticed. 54 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,274 It's beginning to eat into my beer profits. 55 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,027 I'm gonna have to raise the price of a draft here just to get even. 56 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,987 That'll be $11 dollars there, Cliff. 57 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,742 You know, he hasn't been in before 5:00 all week. 58 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:47,287 You don't suppose Norm has finally got himself a job, do you? 59 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,289 No, no. if Norm had gotten a job, 60 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,291 he would've told us all about it, you know. 61 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,543 Gee, I hope he didn't tell me and I forgot. 62 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,213 No, I'd remember forgetting something that big. 63 00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,591 No, I think Cliff's right. 64 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,011 If Norm got a job, he would've made a big deal about it. 65 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:07,474 You know, yesterday I saw something very disturbing. 66 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,059 The price of peroxide went up? 67 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,355 I was born a blond. 68 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,733 What were you saying? 69 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,070 Well, on my way here, 70 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,614 I saw a fellow who looked very much like Norman, 71 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:26,243 sneaking in the back door of Melville's kitchen. 72 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,578 Now, he looked so much like Norman, I said hi to him, 73 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,623 but he pulled his coat over his face and ran inside. 74 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,876 What would Norm be doing in Melville's kitchen? 75 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,879 I think Norman's been reduced to taking a job 76 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,423 as a busboy or a dishwasher. 77 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,343 No, no, Norm would never stoop to something like that. 78 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,221 He probably just went in to beg for table scraps, that's all. 79 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,475 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just thought of something. 80 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,811 Oh, I thought I heard a clank. 81 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:59,901 About a week ago, Norm asked me if a real man would wash dishes. 82 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,196 - Oh, no. - I don't believe it. 83 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,824 It's impossible to escape the conclusion. 84 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,993 I found a way. 85 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,497 Now, look, I'm not gonna believe that my buddy, 86 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,833 a professional man like myself, has been reduced to scrubbing 87 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,334 pots and pans in a fish house. 88 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,753 I mean, if he had, there'd be telltale signs. 89 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,298 You know, he'd come in reeking like a mackerel. 90 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,510 Get out of here! Go on, beat it. Scram. Out of here. 91 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,560 Beat it! Get out of here! Hey, get-- 92 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,608 Go on! Get out of here! 93 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,406 Well, that proves it. He's either washing dishes at Melville's, 94 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,409 or he's driving a herd of cats to Dodge City. 95 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,996 No, Sam, he'd need at least 200 head for that drive to Dodge. 96 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,333 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm. 97 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,586 - Can I draw you a beer, Norm? - No, I know what they look like. 98 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,004 Just pour me one. 99 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,259 - Hey, Norm, what's with all the cats? - What? Animals like me. 100 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,429 Good, because no human is gonna. 101 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,393 Norm, you smell like low tide in Bridgeport. 102 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,355 Must've been that tuna sandwich I ate. 103 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,732 What'd you do, eat it or roll in it? 104 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,570 Say, Norm, everything okay? Any luck finding a job? 105 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,572 - Let's just drop it, huh? - Okay. 106 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,742 Oh, here, Normie. You need a napkin there. 107 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,163 Gee, Normie, look at your hands. They're all red and rough and wrinkled. 108 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,208 - Hey, so is your brain. Okay? - Oh, come on. 109 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,628 - I'm sorry, Coach. - That's okay, Norm. 110 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,546 Everybody, look, I'm sorry. 111 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,257 - I might as well come clean here. - Please. 112 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,720 I'm washing dishes up at Melville's, okay? 113 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,724 The unemployment ran out. I had to do something. 114 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,644 Here, give me your hands. This'll cut the smell. 115 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,231 Oh, Norman, you must be hopelessly depressed. 116 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,945 Last night I went home so depressed I almost jumped out my window. 117 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,031 There's so many cats down there, they would've broken the fall. 118 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,784 That-- 119 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,537 Those guys out there-- There's only a scouting party. 120 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,289 Go on, get out of here! 121 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,918 Norman. 122 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,088 There's dignity in any work. 123 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,965 Now, don't be ashamed of physical labor. 124 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,260 Oh, no, Diane. I know exactly how Normie feels. 125 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,595 When I was a youngster, I was a busboy. 126 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,266 And I'm telling you, the humiliation, the getting ordered around... 127 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,059 It's more than a man can take. 128 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,436 Hey, get a beer over here, huh, grandpa? 129 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:40,854 Yes, sir, right away. 130 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,732 Dishwasher. 131 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,152 I guess I've sunk about as low as an accountant can sink. 132 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,030 I graduated 30th in my class. 133 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,824 Now I spend my afternoons watching lettuce float. 134 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,161 Norman, I've got it. 135 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,663 You're an accountant. You should be accounting. 136 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,124 Sam, why don't you put Norman on as your accountant? 137 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,542 - Yeah, Sam. - Oh, great idea. 138 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,044 Oh, that'd be fabulous. 139 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:08,089 - I already have an accountant. - Well, fire him and hire Norman. 140 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,466 - Yeah. - That's how it works. 141 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,384 Diane, can I speak to you over here for a minute? 142 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,803 - Certainly, certainly. - What's the matter? 143 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,139 - Don't you think it's a good idea? - Oh, no, you bet. 144 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,141 I just wanna tell her in private how much I like it. 145 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:22,896 Sounds like Ms. Chambers is going to get a buss on the cheek. 146 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,523 Let's hope it's going at least 80. 147 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,572 No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. 148 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,909 There are two areas of my life that I don't want anyone to touch. 149 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,703 Now, I've already told you about one of them. 150 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,831 - And I didn't. - I know. You've been good about that. 151 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,667 The other area is my business. 152 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:48,046 Now, I worked very hard to get this bar, and it's been a struggle to keep it. 153 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,214 Now you've got me committed 154 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,800 to turning my books over to a dishwasher. 155 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:57,180 He's not a dishwasher. He's an accountant and he's a friend. 156 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,600 You're right, he's my friend. But how do I know he's a good accountant? 157 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:04,312 He hasn't been hired for over a year. There must be some reason. 158 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,024 That just means he's highly motivated to do a good job. 159 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,068 Besides, you only have to keep him on long enough 160 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,611 to help him get his pride back. 161 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,280 Sammy? Say, I don't wanna put you on the spot here. 162 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,576 I don't have to be your accountant. I could always just kill myself. 163 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,371 Yeah, yeah, this man has options here, Sam. 164 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,541 Sam, now it's true. 165 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,210 Hiring Norman has emotional overtones. 166 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:31,923 But without emotions, the mind becomes a stagnant pond. 167 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,424 And let's face it, in your case, 168 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,637 we're not exactly dealing with white-water rapids in the first place. 169 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,225 Okay, all right, fine. I'll put Norm on. 170 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,228 But just-- Hey, just remember, when I have to fire him later on, 171 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,398 you're gonna be responsible for him losing what's left of his self-respect. 172 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,401 How can we miss with such a positive attitude? 173 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,319 Norm. 174 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,655 Hey, you're my new accountant. 175 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,240 - Hey. - All right. 176 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,660 - Sammy, I am honored. - Well, yeah. 177 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,580 I want you to know this is one of the great moments of my life, Sam. 178 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,707 Oh, give me a break. One of your greatest moments? 179 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,709 Easy, Sam. There have only been two. 180 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,253 I'm aware you're doing this out of pity, 181 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,089 but I want you to know you just got the best damn accountant around. 182 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,591 Yeah, I'll second that. 183 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,926 What? That he just got the best damn accountant around? 184 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,053 No, that he's doing it out of pity. 185 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,437 Oh, here he is, ladies and gentlemen... 186 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,274 ...Norm "Render unto Caesar's that which is zilch" Peterson. 187 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,443 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 188 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,237 Diane, a little more coffee, please. 189 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,281 - Oh, Norman, I'm proud of you. - Yeah. 190 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,242 When there's a job to be done, you put the beer aside. 191 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,161 That's because I wanna do a good job for Sammy there. 192 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,373 Isn't that nice? isn't that nice, Sam? 193 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,834 How's it--? How's it going, Norm? 194 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,127 Almost done, Sam. 195 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,296 You're not gonna be disappointed, big guy. 196 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,506 I found a couple things in there, you know. 197 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,842 Gonna have the best damn tax return that's ever been audited. 198 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,721 Oh, lighten up, will you? It's a tax joke. Come on. 199 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,808 Boy, Sam, you know, there's a bounce in Normie's step 200 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,101 I haven't seen in months. 201 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,146 You know, tonight may be the turning point in that man's life. 202 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,565 He might come out of that office, his job complete. 203 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,525 Who knows, maybe even make amends with Vera, 204 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,487 - start building a new life. - Oh, that would be wonderful. 205 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,782 Then again, he might drink till he passes out with his head in a toilet. 206 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,660 It's too close to call really. 207 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,747 I just hope he's not trying too hard to impress me. 208 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,293 Well, what if he is? You're helping him out. He appreciates that. 209 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,838 I just don't like taking chances with the IRS. 210 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,341 I mean, I was very satisfied with my old accountant. 211 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,886 Every year I'd pay two, three grand in taxes. I'd pay them. 212 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:46,516 There'd be no trouble. That's all I want from Norm. No chances, no risks. 213 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,559 Sam, you just worry too much. 214 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:51,062 - Normie's a great accountant. - How do you know that, Coach? 215 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,273 Because my mother always used to say: 216 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,275 "Everybody has one thing they're great at." 217 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,402 Yeah, and with Norm we've eliminated everything 218 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,570 but accountant and great white hunter. 219 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,118 - Here we go, Sam. All done. - How'd it come out, Norm? 220 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,953 I'll let my return speak for itself, Cliff ie. 221 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,957 I'm getting back $15,000? 222 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,003 We make camp here, bwana? 223 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,100 Of course babies can eat pizza. Just put it in the blender. 224 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,479 Excuse me, do you have a cigarette machine in the back? 225 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,357 - Backroom. - Thank you, beautiful. 226 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,567 What did you call me? 227 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,487 - Beautiful. - Sounded different the first time. 228 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,907 - Beautiful. - That was the word. 229 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,078 Good afternoon, everybody. 230 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,830 - Norm. - Norm. 231 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,957 - Norman. - How about a beer, Norm? 232 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,709 Hey, I'm high on life, Coach. 233 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,252 Of course, beer is my life. 234 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,132 Hey, there's my boss man. How's it going, buddy? 235 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,761 Pretty good. Just waiting for that great big tax refund to come rolling in. 236 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,888 You figure out what you're gonna do with that loot? 237 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:12,477 Well, I think that some of it should go for something sheer, sexy, 238 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:17,148 and, yes, a little breathtaking for the special someone in his life. 239 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,651 I think you're right. What are you, an extra large, Norm? 240 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,029 In peignoirs, yes, 241 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,447 but I can squeeze into a large teddy. 242 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,618 Wait, wait, wait, you gotta check these out here. 243 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,164 - Here-- Lookit here. - Printed matches. 244 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,625 - Just spread them around there. - "Norm Peterson incorporated. 245 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,627 An Accountancy Firm." 246 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,629 Oh, it's very impressive, Norm. 247 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,382 Business must be good, huh, Normie? 248 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,551 Yeah, Coach, it just took Sammy here having faith in me 249 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,930 and my getting a little faith in myself. And stuff sort of took off. 250 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,348 - Bingo. - Yeah. 251 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,309 How many new clients do you have now besides Sam? 252 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,520 Just one other, but I've been hustling a little bit 253 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,146 and I got some nibbles, I think. 254 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,399 - Which reminds me-- Diane? - Yeah. 255 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,235 - Here's your return. - Oh, thank you. 256 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,365 - A nice healthy refund, huh? - I thought you'd like that. 257 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,076 All those psychiatrist's fees were deductible, Diane. 258 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,453 And those daily sessions back in February. 259 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,831 We're talking a gold mine here. 260 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,836 Shut up, Norman, I'm better. I'm better. 261 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,798 Sam. 262 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,260 February was kind of a rough month, wasn't it? 263 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,469 You're kidding. 264 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,266 Listen, what you've done for Norman is a miracle. 265 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,436 - I am very proud of you. - It was nothing. 266 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,062 Don't be modest. 267 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,689 You stood by him when he needed you. 268 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:44,152 When he told you you were getting $15,000 back, even I blanched. 269 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,528 And money means no more to me 270 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:49,073 than it does to the creatures in the forest, or the beasts in the field. 271 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:52,076 Oh, Sammy, give me a hand here with this stuff. 272 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,204 - Coach, you get that? - Yeah. 273 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,917 Cheers. Sam, it's for you. 274 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,254 - I'm busy. Can you take a message? - Can I take a message? He's busy. 275 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,299 Yeah. Right. 276 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,217 Right, right, right. 277 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,013 Sam, it was your accountant, Sy. He said he put everything-- 278 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,389 Bell Day. Bell Day. 279 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:17,935 And-- 280 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,438 And he said your tax returns are ready. 281 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,526 What the hell's going on here, Sam? 282 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,529 What do you mean? About Bell Day? 283 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,365 No. Did you send in the return I prepared for you or not? 284 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,161 No, Norm, I didn't. 285 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:38,831 Why not? 286 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,876 Well, I probably should have told you this, 287 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,587 but I'm real conservative when it comes to money. 288 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,048 Okay, let me just get this straight here. 289 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,258 You don't trust me or my work, 290 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,344 so you had somebody else do your taxes. 291 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,389 No-- Fifteen-thousand-dollar refunds scared the hell out of me. 292 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,642 I mean, I've never gotten any kind of refund before at all. 293 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,770 You know why? That accountant you had is a wimp, Sam. 294 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,189 I went through those previous returns. 295 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,941 The guy wouldn't know a deduction if he sat on it. 296 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,819 What are you trying to say, Sammy? That Norm pulled a $15,000 boner? 297 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:09,862 Yeah? 298 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,782 Come on. I was just trying to protect myself. 299 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,825 Any one of you would've done the same thing, right? 300 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,705 Oh, come on. You would too, and you know it. 301 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,710 Hey, let's just-- Let's just drop this, all right? 302 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,505 I didn't want Norm to do my taxes in the first place, you remember? 303 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,550 Just goes to show you, you shouldn't do business with friends. 304 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,844 Then you're safe going into business with anybody in this room. 305 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,972 - Yeah. - You got it. 306 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:39,058 Oh, come on now. Isn't anybody on my side here? 307 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,562 Listen, all I wanted to do was try to protect my business, 308 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,855 and not offend Norm in the first place. 309 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,192 Sam, I'm standing by you. 310 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,486 I may not agree with you, but I admire your courage. 311 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,989 - I know exactly how you feel. - Oh, you do? 312 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:57,118 Yes, I've had personal experience standing against the majority, 313 00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:01,664 resisting the force of public opinion for the sake of personal principle. 314 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,417 Is that right? Like what? When? 315 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,626 Well, my senior year, 316 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,588 I fought single-handedly to integrate my sorority. 317 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,716 Hey, you hear this? Well, what? They wouldn't let blacks in? 318 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,886 Well, it wasn't exactly blacks. That's really not the point. 319 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,972 - The point is that I-- - Well, what was it? Some other race? 320 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,392 - Well, no. - A religion? 321 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,188 - Well, it wasn't exactly a religion. - Well, come on, who? Who? 322 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,523 Girls with... 323 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,734 What? 324 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,360 Who wouldn't they let in? 325 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,239 Girls with poorly publicized coming-out parties. 326 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,496 And within a couple of months, 327 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,457 - they blended right in. - Thank you. 328 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,044 If you don't trust me as an accountant, you don't trust me as a friend. 329 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,629 Hey, now, come on. Stop right there. 330 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,798 Listen, you gotta learn to separate business from friendship. 331 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,843 No, no, no. The only thing I have to separate is you from my life. 332 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:59,347 Hey. Hey, come on. Listen, if I get into trouble with the IRS, I could go to jail. 333 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,683 And you know what happens to pretty boys when they go to jail, huh? 334 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,313 You know-- You know, your attitude is unprofessional. 335 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,066 - Now I'm unprofessional? Is that it? - Yeah. 336 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,693 - You know what you are? - Listen, guys, don't say anything-- 337 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,153 - What? - You're a backstabber. 338 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,614 What? You know something, you are a big baby, Norman. 339 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,574 - Hair hat. - Ham hock. 340 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,534 Gooseneck. This is fun. 341 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,122 We are not the ones fighting here, spaghetti breath. 342 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,624 You're a bad guy, Malone. 343 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,251 - B-A-D, you're bad! - You're starting to get on my nerves. 344 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,504 - The truth hurts, huh? - Oh, my God! 345 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,339 Will the two of you listen to yourselves 346 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,550 standing there arguing, bickering. 347 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,845 You're making a mockery out of Bell Day. 348 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:49,188 Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. I've just been through 349 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,773 - the roughest year of my life. - I know that. 350 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,567 The only thing that kept me going was the belief in myself, 351 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,820 and the hope someday somebody else would say: 352 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,196 "I believe in you too, Norm." 353 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,907 - I thought you'd be that guy for me. - That won't work. 354 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,493 You're trying to lay a guilt trip on me. I think that stinks. 355 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,245 Fine. I'm out of here. I'm going for good. 356 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,123 Hey, you better mean it, because I don't want you coming back in here tomorrow 357 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,708 thinking this whole thing's gonna blow over. 358 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,087 Yeah, as a matter of fact-- Hey, listen, you go out that door, 359 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,672 I don't want you back in my bar. I mean it. 360 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,257 Okay, fine, you got it. 361 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,346 Before I go, I gotta settle one thing with that man. 362 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,392 Norman, now wait. Don't do anything silly. Please. 363 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,978 You better stay out of this. This is part of the male ritual 364 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,312 that you don't know anything about. 365 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,817 I'm coming in, Malone. 366 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,152 Okay, Norm, how do you wanna do this? 367 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,032 I don't wanna go, Sam. 368 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:47,496 Oh, hey. Hey, come on. Man, I didn't mean that-- 369 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,420 Hey, hey. Come on. 370 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,798 Listen, listen, we're not gonna get anywhere 371 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,217 unless you start acting like an adult here. 372 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,802 Come on, fella. 373 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,721 Come on. 374 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,556 Here. Here you go. 375 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:11,771 Here, here, here. 376 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,406 This bar's all I have, Sam. 377 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,075 You people are my family. 378 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,205 You're my brother. 379 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,541 Oh, well, you're my brother too, Norm. 380 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,714 Sam. 381 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:51,936 Norm, 382 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,772 hey, you're my accountant. 383 00:21:57,066 --> 00:22:00,277 - You mean it, Sam? - Right after this tax season. 384 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,532 I'll take it. 385 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,951 - But I don't wanna beg. - No. 386 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,708 So as we see, the roots of physical aggression in the male of the species 387 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,837 is found right here in the old DNA molecule itself. 388 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:23,634 Right up here at about 1 o'clock, as I recall. 389 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:27,680 - Fascinating, Cliff. - Oh, yes, Diane, fascinating. 390 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:32,059 You hold onto your hat too, because the very letters, D-N-A 391 00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:36,772 are an acronym for the words "Dames Are Not Aggressive." 392 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:43,654 They stand for deoxyribonucleic acid. 393 00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,490 Yes, but parse that in a Latin declension, 394 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,826 and my point is still moot. 395 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:55,958 You know, Cliff, if it's true that a little knowledge is dangerous, 396 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,918 you are a walking time bomb. 397 00:22:58,252 --> 00:22:59,628 Oh, thank you, Diane. 398 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,841 Let's talk about the gas turbine engine for a while. 399 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:07,678 Coach. 400 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,265 Coach, buy my buddy a beer, will you? 401 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:12,349 Coming up. 402 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,102 So you didn't resort to physical violence? 403 00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:16,353 Nope. As a matter of fact, 404 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,397 I want you all to meet my new accountant. 405 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:21,191 - Hey. - All right, Norm. 406 00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,402 Congratulations, Normie. 407 00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:27,907 As it turns out, I've been with the wrong guy for the last ten years. 408 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:29,533 Thanks, Sam. 409 00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,577 Thank you, Norm. 410 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:39,335 Well, this is such a beautiful moment seeing you two friends reconciled. 411 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:40,878 I could almost cry. 412 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,214 - Girls. - Yeah, boy.