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00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,838
Cheers was filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,300
Hey, Coach, someone
just ordered one of your famous
3
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,511
- Kon Tiki Tikis.
- No kidding, Carla.
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,429
Gee, I haven't made one
of those in a long time.
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,139
- Yeah.
- This is gonna be great.
6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,099
Kon Tiki Tiki.
7
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,563
I love watching you make
this drink, Coach.
8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,859
It's like watching Beethoven
play one of his own tunes, you know?
9
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:28,737
Thank you, Carla. Thank you.
10
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,262
There you go, Carla.
11
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,514
Coach, you forgot to blend it.
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I'm sorry. Gee, you know, I haven't
made one of these since last summer.
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- I know. I know.
- Okay.
14
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,730
Here we go.
15
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,689
Yeah, well, with the recent
strides in genetic engineering--
16
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,900
I mean, we'll soon
be faced with the possibility
17
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:33,320
of producing enormous farm animals
to feed the hungry millions.
18
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,615
Now imagine, one cow
to feed an entire city,
19
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:40,410
one egg making an omelet
for an entire family.
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00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,622
Yeah, I mean, with the advances
we're making today,
21
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,165
the future is limitless now.
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00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,042
So is his mouth.
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00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,960
Doesn't he ever shut up?
24
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,506
- Who?
- Gabby, the wonder boob.
25
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,593
Is that humorous appellation
supposed to refer to me there, friend?
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00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,095
Yeah.
27
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:02,182
You realize that your lips have been
flapping for over an hour?
28
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,893
Give it a rest, pal,
and give us a break.
29
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,189
- It doesn't seem fair, does it, Norm?
- What?
30
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,942
That I should have so much knowledge
when there are people in the world
31
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,778
that have to go to bed
stupid every night.
32
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,283
Watch your step, pal.
33
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:26,456
Well, I guess I did carve the guy up
a little bit with my rapier wit, huh?
34
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,168
I'd better go scrape him up
off the mat.
35
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,839
- Hey, listen, friend.
- Yeah?
36
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,757
We sort of got off
on the wrong foot there.
37
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Why don't-- Why don't we go.
I'll buy you a beer
38
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,053
and we'll talk it over
like decent human beings, huh?
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00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,973
No, thanks. I don't like you.
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00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,442
How'd it go, Cliff ie?
41
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,985
I don't know, Norm.
42
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,864
The guy's taken an inexplicable
personal dislike to me.
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00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,866
Must be deranged.
44
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,410
Sam.
45
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,163
Sam, have you filled in
your football pool yet?
46
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,498
I gotta pick up the slips
in half an hour.
47
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,333
I'm working on it, Coach.
48
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,127
I'm almost done with mine, Coach.
49
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,004
Good girl, Diane.
50
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,547
Yours?
51
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,009
What--? Why do you
even bother to fill one out?
52
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,136
I mean, you don't even like football.
53
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,264
Well, I don't dislike it.
54
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,933
Believe it or not, Sam,
I was on the pep squad
55
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,518
when I was in high school.
56
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,564
Some of my most stirring memories
57
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,609
are of cheering for
whomever it was
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00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,780
to do whatever
they were supposed to do
59
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,240
to whomever they
were supposed to do it.
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00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:46,995
Boy, spirit like that
can really fire a team up, huh?
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00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,580
Okay, now in the first contest--
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00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,957
Wait. Hey, Diane,
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00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,169
you don't know the first thing
about football, you know that?
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00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,129
- Who won the pool last week?
- I mean,
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00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,381
you've never even been
to a pro game before.
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00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,051
- Who won last week?
- You don't watch it on television,
67
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,886
- you haven't even listened to one--
- Who won?
68
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,263
All right, you won,
you won, you won.
69
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,266
Okay? You won.
70
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,354
Anybody can win
every once in a while.
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00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:16,066
Everybody gets lucky.
It's the law of averages, that's all.
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00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,364
Just out of curiosity,
when was the last time you won?
73
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:26,076
1974, but I've come close
a lot of times since then.
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00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:30,330
A lot of times.
It was a decade of upsets.
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00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,297
All right, all right, all right.
You interested in winning consistently?
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00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,842
Sit down, watch and learn.
77
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,426
Okay?
78
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,471
My Sammy's putting on
his thinking cap.
79
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,183
It's a wee, pointy little thing
with earflaps.
80
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,937
But on you it looks roomy.
81
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,443
Okay, right now
on the top of the page here,
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00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,736
Bears against the Dolphins.
83
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:03,822
Now,
84
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:08,243
we have a home-field advantage,
which means that you gotta be--
85
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,452
Bears.
86
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,498
Bears, just like that?
87
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,502
Well, of course, Sam.
A bear against a dolphin? Come on.
88
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,797
I mean, that's not even a fair fight.
89
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:24,259
Okay, now, what about those
Dallas guys against Atlanta?
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00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,638
Okay, all right, all right.
Atlanta, Atlanta.
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00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,348
What color uniforms do they wear?
92
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,017
Color?
93
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,437
Yes, the color
will tell you the winner.
94
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:38,148
Red beats blue. Blue beats yellow.
95
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,318
- Yellow beats mauve.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait.
96
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,988
Are you telling me that you're
gonna pick Atlanta over Dallas
97
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,449
because of the color
of their uniforms?
98
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,911
Dallas, who up until last week,
had won six games in a row?
99
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,788
- Who beat them last week?
- Washington.
100
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,499
And what color
was Washington wearing?
101
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,294
None of your business.
102
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,381
Gee, Diane, the laws
of probability are very complex.
103
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,634
Indeed, indeed.
104
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,178
Yeah, Normie, professors
at Heidelberg University
105
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,180
have recently done studies
to try and predict
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00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,723
the reoccurrence of albino gerbils--
107
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,101
Oh, God, it's time for
the Mickey Mouth Club again.
108
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,898
Buddy, you don't know anything,
109
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,817
so why don't you shut up
before you prove it.
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00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,031
Cliff,
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00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,533
I'm ashamed to know you
112
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,410
if you don't go and stand up to that guy.
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00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,663
No. Come on.
Let it ride, Carla. Will you?
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00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,083
- What, are you scared?
- No, I'm not scared.
115
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,419
I just don't wanna start a fight
over a few hasty words, all right?
116
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,004
Cliff, come here. Come here.
117
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,801
Look, you won't have to fight him.
118
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,512
You just have to
back him down a notch.
119
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:54,140
Trust me. I have been in a lot of fights
and I've seen a lot of fights,
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00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,560
and believe me, fighting
is the last thing on his mind.
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00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:02,565
You just call him out,
stare at him eyeball-to-eyeball
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00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,275
and watch him crumble.
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00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,070
Yeah, like two fighters. They stare
each other down before the bout.
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00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,488
You got it.
125
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,907
The name of the game
is intimidation.
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00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,660
Real men have been
doing it for centuries.
127
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,414
And believe me, it can work
for guys like you too.
128
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,502
You think it'll work, huh?
129
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,463
I'm positive. That guy is a blowhard.
130
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,090
Hey, you want me to do it for you?
131
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,093
Hey, look, I can do it myself.
All right?
132
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,263
Sam, Sam. Will you
do something about this?
133
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,098
About what?
134
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:41,104
Carla is provoking Cliff
into a physical confrontation
135
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,898
with that lout.
136
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,401
Cliff, I told you I don't want
anything more violent in my bar
137
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,862
than an occasional love nibble.
138
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,490
It'll never work with this guy.
139
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,829
Look. Look, Sammy--
Look, it's all right.
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00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,789
There's not gonna be
any fisticuffs in your bar.
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00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,208
I'm just gonna go over
to the guy, stare him down.
142
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,752
He is gonna be
the first one to blink.
143
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,462
- Mark my words.
- Wait, wait, man.
144
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,298
Hey, no, Sam. Sam,
it's something I gotta do, all right?
145
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,176
The gauntlet has been thrown down.
146
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,345
Hey,
147
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,556
beagle-breath...
148
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,811
You better not be talking to me, pal.
149
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,065
If you don't like the way I talk,
150
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,526
maybe there's something
you'd like to do about it.
151
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,949
I'd be glad to. Let's go outside.
152
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,499
You got it.
153
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,543
I'll pay my check
and I'll be right behind you.
154
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,881
Did he blink and I missed it?
155
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,634
Don't you worry, Cliffo.
156
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,512
He knows you're not afraid
of him now and he's worried.
157
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,306
Sure. I wouldn't be surprised
if he turned tail and run by now.
158
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,352
No, Norm, he's out there right now
taking off his shirt.
159
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,188
Nice upper-body development.
160
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:10,610
Well, there just comes a time
when you gotta draw the old line.
161
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,786
- Cliff, where are you going?
- Home.
162
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,164
Cliff? You're going
through Melville's?
163
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,875
Well, yeah, Sam, I think
it's the duty of every citizen
164
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,711
to learn all the emergency entrances
and exits in a public place
165
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:33,216
in case of, you know, an emergency,
like atomic holocaust.
166
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,888
- What a chicken.
- Yeah, but what a citizen.
167
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,657
Well, how did my Sammikins
do at football pool?
168
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,534
- Well, not so great.
- I'll get them.
169
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:00,785
But I wasn't the only one.
170
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,371
Oddsmakers took
a real beating yesterday.
171
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,832
Nothing went according to form.
172
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,253
- How many did you get?
- I don't know. Let's see.
173
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,755
Three, four, five, six.
174
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,009
Six out of 13. This is not so bad.
175
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:20,680
- This is...
- Yeah, okay. All right, all right. Five.
176
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,435
Four. All right, four.
177
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,354
Poor Sam.
178
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,315
Poor Sam? Are you kidding me?
Poor everybody.
179
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,318
No win day.
Upsets right across the board.
180
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:37,697
Hey, I defy anybody to predict
how most of those games turned out.
181
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,991
How'd you do?
182
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,454
Well, I'm afraid I didn't
do very well either--
183
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,747
Oh, yeah?
184
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:49,292
I went entirely with cities
whose symphonies are led
185
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,961
by foreign-born conductors.
186
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,008
- You're kidding, aren't you?
- No.
187
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,802
I bet you did great
with that system, huh?
188
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:03,681
Well, not really. I only got 11.
189
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,687
Well, the heck you did. You...
190
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,606
You got 12.
191
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,485
Twelve out of 13.
192
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,195
You're right. I miscounted.
193
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,529
Yeah, and not only that,
194
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,782
the one you missed,
you missed by a mile here.
195
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,992
I tell you, there's
a new rule around here.
196
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,827
All blond waitresses
out of the pool. That's it.
197
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,580
You don't get to bet
on football anymore.
198
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,000
I'll tell you something. You are
destroying the sport of football.
199
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,131
Okay, fine,
200
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,550
if it's so important to you.
201
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:45,390
But this makes it impossible for me
to test out my theory on state flowers.
202
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,863
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Cliff.
203
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,783
I'd like you to meet my
post office pal here, Lewis.
204
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,327
Lewis, this is Carla,
Sammy, Coach, Norm.
205
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,037
- Hi, Lewis.
- The whole gang.
206
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,789
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Glad to meet you.
207
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,125
- Can we have a couple beers, Coach?
- Got it.
208
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:16,879
So, what do you got
the muscle for, huh, Cliff?
209
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:20,383
What are you talking about muscle,
Carla? Lewis and I go way back.
210
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:26,055
Yeah. Enjoy, Lewis. Enjoy.
211
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:29,600
- Thanks, Chris.
- It's Cliff.
212
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,352
My pleasure.
213
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,606
So, Lewis, you look like an athlete.
You play football or anything?
214
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,609
Little bit. Mostly I'm a fighter.
215
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,486
You're--?
216
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,655
You're a fighter?
217
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,949
Boy, you think you know
a guy all these years,
218
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,118
and he can still surprise
you like that, huh?
219
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,995
I didn't know you were
a fighter, Lewis.
220
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,914
Well, that's what you asked for
in your ad up on the bulletin board.
221
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,132
Oh, Lewis the kidder.
That's what we call him.
222
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,303
Yeah, hi, it's Sam. I wanna put
$200 on tonight's game.
223
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,305
Yeah, wait, wait.
Maybe you can help me out here.
224
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,474
Can you tell me which
is the more dominant flower,
225
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,102
the Mountain Lily
or the Black-eyed Susan?
226
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,438
How am I supposed
to know Leslie Uggams?
227
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,610
Don't...
228
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,321
Don't get me wrong. You know,
229
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:26,824
it's not like I think all
black people know each other.
230
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,285
It's just-- You know,
231
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,954
all good-looking people
with lots of warmth...
232
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,957
Can I have another beer, Coach?
233
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,301
Round one!
234
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,014
Hey, come on, Carla.
You know I'm a man of peace.
235
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,226
I'm perfectly willing
to let bygones be bygones.
236
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,645
But if, on the other hand,
237
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,356
certain of my loud-mouthed
brethren was to start trouble,
238
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,483
that's their business.
239
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,610
Scotch.
240
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,489
Norm, did you hear about the studies
being done over at Johns Hopkins
241
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:10,660
about the Y chromosome
of persistent bar troublemakers?
242
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,081
Yeah, they found a striking
similarity between that
243
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:18,042
and chronic droolers and idiots.
244
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,670
Okay, that's it.
245
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,464
Shut up, friend, and step outside.
246
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,676
And this time you're going first
so you can't give me the slip.
247
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,344
Well, I'd really like to,
248
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:34,016
but I think that'd be rather rude
to my enormous friend, Lewis.
249
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,945
What's the problem?
250
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,407
Wait, I got no quarrel
with you, pal. It's--
251
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,242
It's this guy here
that's getting on my nerves.
252
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:54,537
Oh, yeah? And what exactly
is it about him that bothers you?
253
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,205
I don't know.
254
00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:00,042
The fact that he comes on
as such an authority on everything.
255
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:04,672
- Hey! It's a free country.
- I know. I know it's a free country.
256
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,843
But it bugs me. I mean,
he's got an opinion on every subject.
257
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,220
He never shuts up.
258
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,016
You know,
259
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,894
he does the same thing
down at the post office.
260
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,233
But nobody ever thinks
about beating him up over it.
261
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,362
Yeah. Well, you know, his whole
attitude rubs me the wrong way.
262
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,781
- You know?
- Yeah, I know what you mean.
263
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,367
Them kind of guys just do it to you.
264
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,370
Who knows why.
265
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,249
- Well, actually, sociologists--
- Shut up, Clint.
266
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,504
It's Cliff. Would you like
another beer, Lewis?
267
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,839
No. I don't think so.
268
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,843
I think I'm going home.
269
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,639
- Let me give you a ride. It's awfully--
- No, no, no.
270
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,808
I don't want my neighbors seeing me
come home in a Studebaker.
271
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,736
Now, then.
272
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,865
I believe...
273
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,826
...we were gonna step outside.
274
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,959
All right.
275
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,669
All right.
276
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,338
All right, look,
277
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,341
I'm a black belt in karate
and my hands are lethal weapons.
278
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:35,763
Karate. Can you believe this guy?
279
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,141
I'll tell you what, I'll give you
a chance to get out of here.
280
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,062
I'm gonna go in the back
and play a little pool.
281
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,148
You can say goodbye
to your friends.
282
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:48,067
But listen,
283
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,319
if you're still here when I get back,
284
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,322
we're going outside
if I have to drag you there.
285
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,537
Karate, Cliff?
286
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,291
For crying out loud! God!
287
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,710
What is wrong with that?
288
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,546
I think Clifford has shown
excellent judgment.
289
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,172
Give me a break.
290
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,633
It's the oldest cop-out
in the world.
291
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,344
Every sweetheart who wants
to duck out of a fight says,
292
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,471
"I know karate."
293
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:19,473
Well,
294
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,018
that's where you're wrong, Carla.
295
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,855
I've been studying secretly now
for several years.
296
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,440
Yeah, very secretly,
297
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,734
considering none of us ever heard
a word out of you about it.
298
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,237
Yeah, we've heard a word
out of you about everything.
299
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,531
Well, it's something
we don't like to talk about.
300
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:41,579
You just don't brag about it,
because it's spiritual attainment.
301
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,666
What? What? What?
302
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:51,047
Sam, Cliff, very prudently
in my judgment,
303
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:56,260
has refrained from taking advantage
of that combative mesomorph
304
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,764
with his superior knowledge
of karate.
305
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,642
- Right.
- Karate? Cliff?
306
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,689
Et tu, Sammy.
307
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,525
Oh, I'm sorry, Cliff,
308
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,777
were you serious?
309
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,113
Hey, Cliff ie, I hate to ask,
but if you do know karate,
310
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,449
why did you have to bring
Lewis in with you?
311
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,202
Well, there's a very good reason
for that, Coach.
312
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,620
It's to scare off the other guy.
313
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,121
See,
314
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:28,000
it's one of our major precepts,
to always stay out of a fight
315
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,877
- if humanly possible.
- All right.
316
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,255
Well, I for one believe you, Clifford.
317
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,965
And I do too, Cliff ie.
318
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,468
And I believe you, Cliff.
319
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,763
I believe you are a big dink.
320
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,693
Hey, Kung Fool,
321
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,238
I thought I told you to get lost.
322
00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:00,658
What are you gonna do, pal,
throw all my customers out of my bar?
323
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,494
Hey, I'm not looking
for trouble, Sam,
324
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:07,248
but this guy knows I don't like him,
and he's been pushing me.
325
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:14,547
If he'll admit that
he's a coward and a liar,
326
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,426
I'll walk away and never
bother him anymore.
327
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,054
Come on, what's the point?
328
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,516
Admit it, coward,
329
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,685
or get out of here.
330
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,098
Are you happy, pal?
You proved your point?
331
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,518
Why don't you get out
of here, huh?
332
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,645
Hey, look, I'm sorry, Sam.
333
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,941
The guy just brings out
the worst in me.
334
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,614
Poor Cliff.
335
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:27,578
- I wonder if he'll ever come back.
- I wouldn't if I was him.
336
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,999
- I don't believe this.
- Sam, can I knock off now?
337
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,960
- Yeah. I'll catch up with you later.
- Okay.
338
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,007
Hey, Cliff.
339
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:45,262
Well, if you're planning to hit him
with those, you're too late. He left.
340
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,431
These aren't for him, Carla,
341
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,976
these are for you,
my so-called friends.
342
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,396
Gee, thanks, Cliff, I need a brick.
343
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,610
Cliff ie, where did you get that stuff?
344
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,488
The construction site
next door, Normie.
345
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:03,864
I'm gonna give you
a demonstration
346
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,741
of what might would've
happened to that guy
347
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,202
if I hadn't kept a hood on my anger.
348
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,329
Sam, what's he doing
with his shoe off?
349
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,581
Hey, man,
you don't have to do this.
350
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,668
Listen, I-- This is nothing
to go fooling around with.
351
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:20,214
He is not fooling around.
He's a black belt.
352
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:23,884
All right, just a second.
353
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,428
I'm not gonna get a splinter
or anything, am I?
354
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:29,515
Just keep a good grip
on that, Normie.
355
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:33,310
You know, Cliff, you're really crazy.
This thing is solid.
356
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,688
Yeah, it's just the way
I like them, Carla.
357
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,273
Solid.
358
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:44,697
- Oh, my--
- Bravo.
359
00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:51,120
Get that sucker back in here.
360
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:56,417
Get that sucker back in here.
361
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,595
Now that I've proved my point,
362
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:10,639
goodbye to you all forever.
363
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:13,350
Come on, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff,
364
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,352
come on back in here
and let us set you up, huh?
365
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,646
- Please come back.
- All right.
366
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,233
All right, but I'd like to have
a little word with Diane here first.
367
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:24,612
All right. All right.
368
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,492
Diane, look, I've never taken
a karate lesson in my life.
369
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,287
Would you get me
to a hospital quick?
370
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,463
Good night, everyone.
371
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,131
Cliff is--
372
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:48,135
He's going to walk me
to my car for my protection.
373
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:49,845
Yeah, anybody got
a problem with that?
374
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,764
- No.
- No.