1
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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
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Hey, everybody.
3
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:10,135
I'm back from my Florida vacation.
4
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,263
Yeah, good to be home again,
back with the old gang.
5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,183
Hey, how you been, pal?
Glad to, buddy.
6
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Look at that.
There's the old bar, huh?
7
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It hasn't changed a bit.
8
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Hey, you're back.
Good to see you.
9
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- Hey, it's good to be back.
- Oh, it's you.
10
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You know, from behind,
you look like a friend of mine.
11
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Oh, hey, you kidder.
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You kidder.
I'll get you for that.
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- Hey, so, hiya, Coach.
- Hi, Cliff ie.
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Boy, did I have a spectacular time
down there in Florida,
15
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basking up
the old Florida sunshine.
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Hoo! I'll tell you. Really got my head
screwed on straight, too.
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You know, Coach,
that experience changed me.
18
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I'm now at one with the cosmos.
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No more getting caught up...
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One with the cosmos, Coach.
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No more getting caught up
22
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,355
in the petty irritations
of day-to-day life...
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I'm just the kind of guy...
24
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Yeah.
25
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I stood on many a wind-swept beach--
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And felt a oneness...
27
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Felt... l--
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Anybody want a "My-tie?"
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"My-tie," Cliff!
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Lookie, look!
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Do you get it?
"My-tie?"
32
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My tie, Cliff ie!
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Good afternoon, everybody.
34
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Norm!
35
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,557
Beer, Normie?
36
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You know how to make it sound tempting,
37
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you fast talker.
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Guess who, buddy.
39
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,065
Hey, Cliff ie.
40
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,275
Missed you
the last couple of days.
41
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,947
I've been gone two weeks now.
42
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I know.
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Oh, God,
I missed this guy!
44
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,622
So Norm, how's Vera?
45
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Any luck getting her
in the family way yet?
46
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Still working on it.
47
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,294
Hey, Norm, you want a kid?
48
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,088
Ah, not really.
49
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,673
I'm just kind of going along with it
50
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,341
to shut Vera up, you know.
51
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She says she wants
to start a family
52
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,053
so she'll have something to do.
53
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,680
Poor Norm here's been shooting blanks
54
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,348
for the last couple of months.
55
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Little louder, Cliff,
we'll dance to it, huh?
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Come on.
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Hey, don't worry,
Normie.
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You'll be planting your seed
before you know it.
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00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,152
I hope so.
60
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,446
The doc says if something
doesn't happen soon,
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00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,906
we may have to take
a drastic step.
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You mean...
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Yeah, sleep together.
64
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Our prayers are with you, big guy.
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Thank you. Thank you.
66
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So, Coach, how's Sammy been doing
since I have been away?
67
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,131
Ah, just about the same,
Cliff ie... Terrible.
68
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,341
Yeah, you should have seen him
the other night, Cliff ie.
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00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,510
He walks in here
with this lady librarian, right?
70
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,512
- Yeah.
- She's off-duty, right?
71
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,722
They both have a snoot full.
72
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:24,973
The lady librarian's
got--
73
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,641
Hey, gang!
74
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,187
Ah, never mind.
75
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,438
My story's obsolete.
76
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,482
- Coach?
- Yeah.
77
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,358
This is my bar, isn't it?
78
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:36,902
Yeah, it sure is, Sam.
79
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,029
See?
I told you I owned a bar.
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00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,656
Ooh, I like it, Sam.
81
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:45,619
Well, it's not much,
but then again, I am.
82
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,912
Hey, Sammy?
83
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,498
I think you got one over
the legal limit there, buddy.
84
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,792
Hey, Cliff ie's back!
85
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,126
How was your vacation?
86
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,046
Ooh, my vacation.
You remembered, huh?
87
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,340
Atlantic City, right?
88
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,550
Yeah, it was terrific.
Thanks a lot.
89
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,803
What branch of the service
90
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,930
are these young ladies in?
91
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,726
I stole them off the front
of a parade last night, Coach.
92
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,561
At this very moment,
93
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,856
there are 26 tuba players
marching right into the river.
94
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,527
Show them your stuff there, girls.
95
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824
God, I love it.
96
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,992
Excuse me, Sam.
97
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,202
Ooh...
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00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:30,330
While you're waiting
for runway clearance...
99
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,377
Do you mind taking a look
at this?
100
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:38,588
Well, this is a piece of paper,
isn't it?
101
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,881
Yeah.
102
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,843
And those are words.
Well this is a--- a letter something.
103
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,595
It is Joanne's resignation.
104
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,723
Hey, girls, take a break
and give your dimples a rest, huh?
105
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,017
What?
106
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,602
We lost another waitress
107
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,145
because she said she found out
108
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,064
she wasn't the only girl
in your life.
109
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,649
Aw, nonsense, Carla.
110
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,193
She's been listening
to vicious rumors.
111
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,321
Sammy, this means
that I have to work alone again.
112
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,115
I mean, we can't
keep a waitress in here
113
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,325
because you keep
breaking their hearts.
114
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Well, obviously I need
a good talking to.
115
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Sammy, this is serious!
116
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We have gone through
eight waitresses
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in six months.
118
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Bet you I can remember
all the names.
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Dee Dee... Carlene, Angela...
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Sneezy, Dopey,
Donner, and Blitzen.
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Okay, girls...
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Ho!
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Step right this way,
ladies.
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It's time for the half-time show
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at the Sammy-dome.
126
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Here you go, step lively.
127
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,235
Poor Sam.
128
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Yeah, my heart bleeds for him.
129
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Yeah, sure, Cliff ie,
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he looks like
he's having a lot of fun,
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but, believe me,
this is just the first stage.
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He's going to end up
drinking himself senseless.
133
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He's turning into
a real jerk, you know?
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Spends all his time
boozing,
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chasing skirts,
136
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,713
and loving and leaving
waitresses.
137
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I wonder what set him off?
138
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,927
Suppose maybe it might
have been Dia--
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Diabetes!
140
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You were going to say
that name, weren't you?
141
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,185
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
142
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You know my rule.
143
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,854
But I didn't say it.
144
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,273
I don't even want you
to think it.
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Use that name
146
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,443
and I will give you a sunroof.
147
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All right, look, look.
148
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What difference does it make
149
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how it started?
150
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,413
Hey, the important thing
151
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,998
is can we do anything
to stop him?
152
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,542
If we can't stop him,
can we join him?
153
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,213
Sammy!
154
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,801
If we can't join him,
do you think he'd let me watch?
155
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,431
Cheers.
156
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,018
Yeah, he's here.
I'll give him the message.
157
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Normie, it's Vera.
158
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:01,398
She says to hurry home.
Her cycle is at its peak.
159
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,109
Again?
160
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,696
Her cycle has more peaks
than the Adirondacks.
161
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,616
Hey, all systems are go
there, big fella.
162
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,119
Even Secretariat got to wait
until he was in the mood
163
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,787
once in a while.
164
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Birds do it
Bees do it
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Even educated fleas do it
166
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Poor Coach.
167
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,342
After all you went through with Sam,
168
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,511
seeing him right back there,
where he was.
169
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,221
Yeah, really--
really, Carla,
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00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,556
it-- it's eating me up.
171
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,182
I'm telling you,
I'm so desperate
172
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,976
I feel like I'm going
to do something crazy.
173
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As a matter of fact,
I am going to do something crazy!
174
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,523
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Coach.
What're you going to do?
175
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,483
I know exactly what Sam needs.
176
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:48,945
Coach, your apron.
177
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:49,946
He's got an apron!
178
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,205
Please just put them down
over there, Boggs.
179
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,623
Thank you, Miss.
180
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,751
Now I know why
I became a chauffeur
181
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,544
instead
of a longshoreman.
182
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:08,256
I would have been 72
on my next birthday.
183
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,217
I appreciate
your bringing me home, Boggs.
184
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,928
Well, your mother and I
felt very strongly
185
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,097
that the first face
one should encounter
186
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,684
on leaving a place like that
should be a friendly one.
187
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:20,852
Speaking of mother,
188
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,729
why didn't she ever visit me there?
189
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,689
Well, she wanted to visit you,
Miss Diane,
190
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,733
but you know
how uncomfortable she is
191
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,401
around psychiatrists.
192
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,447
She could have
written me a letter.
193
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,867
And let them
see her handwriting?
194
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,287
Boggs, that's insane.
195
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,705
Well, as your mother
would say,
196
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,374
let's see them
prove it in court.
197
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,709
Which reminds me,
198
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,544
I should be getting
back to her right now.
199
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,379
Well, thanks again
for driving me home, Boggs.
200
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,631
It's my pleasure.
201
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:53,093
I must say, it's so nice
to see you happy again.
202
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:57,180
Boggs, I think
I'm as happy as I've ever been.
203
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,307
I have a new life.
204
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,310
All these wonderful things
have happened to me.
205
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,686
I'm better now.
206
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,438
Ah!
207
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,023
Miss?
208
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,192
I'm fine, Boggs.
209
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,652
I was just a little startled.
210
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,238
It's a perfectly normal reaction.
211
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,280
Perfectly.
212
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,865
Oh!
213
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,080
Who is it?
214
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,540
It's Ernie Pantusso.
215
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,458
Coach?
216
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,377
What do you want?
217
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,045
Diane, I have to talk to you.
218
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,380
It's important.
219
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,798
Coach,
220
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,007
you're a dear man,
221
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,386
and I love you
and I've missed you,
222
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,639
but you're part
of a period of my life
223
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,725
that I want to see
fade into memory.
224
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,811
Do you understand, Coach?
225
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,399
Coach?
226
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,944
Western Union.
227
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,784
This is a man
I could never resist.
228
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,375
How have you been?
229
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,544
I'm fine, honey.
How've you been?
230
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:10,628
I'm okay, thank you.
231
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,464
I'm sorry I had to fool you
that way, you know.
232
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,551
Hi.
233
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,180
Perhaps I should be
taking this opportunity
234
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,806
to be going along.
235
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,727
Well, say hello to Mummy.
236
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,395
Why don't you have her call me?
237
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,064
You know how she feels
about telephones.
238
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,566
Well, tell her to write.
239
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,568
Or I'll write.
240
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,987
Or maybe we'll just
run into each other sometime.
241
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,198
Nothing would please her more.
242
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,949
Goodbye.
243
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,579
How many pairs of socks
244
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,664
do you figure a guy like that has?
245
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,459
I have no idea.
246
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,127
Can I get you something?
247
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,087
I don't know
exactly what I've got.
248
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,216
I've been away several months
at a sana... vacation.
249
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,675
I've had a vacation.
250
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,345
Oh, gee, you didn't happen
to run into Cliff ie, did you?
251
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:01,763
No.
252
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,766
Did he have a nervous...
vacation, too?
253
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,893
Oh, he's a wreck. Oh...
254
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,687
Listen, Diane,
have you given any thought
255
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,233
to stopping by the place
and saying hello to everybody?
256
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,402
Coach, that wouldn't
be a good idea.
257
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:18,863
Why do you ask?
258
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,616
Does anyone there
ask about me?
259
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,577
No, that Carla won't let them.
260
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,251
Diane, listen, I want you
to come back to Cheers
261
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,253
and have a talk with Sam.
262
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,174
Talk with S-s-s...
263
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,259
S-s-s...
264
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,261
S-s-s...
265
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,764
Yes, it's very important.
266
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,021
Maybe S-s-s...
S-s-s...
267
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,564
S-s-s... S-s-s...
268
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,650
S-s-s...
269
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,946
Maybe the bartender there...
270
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,282
didn't tell you
about our last conversation,
271
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,701
but it ended
in wrath and acrimony.
272
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,078
I vowed never
to return to Cheers,
273
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,247
and I want to make this
very clear to you.
274
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,000
Nothing in heaven or hell
will ever get me back there.
275
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,084
Sam.
276
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,342
Diane, you might be
my last chance.
277
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,971
Sam's boozing again.
278
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,434
Oh, dear.
279
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,021
Oh, dear.
280
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,944
Poor S-s-s...
281
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,576
Poor, dear S-s-s...
282
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,037
...am.
283
00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,505
Well, I'm back.
284
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,923
Norm!
285
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,383
What'll it be, Normie?
286
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,136
A transfusion with a head on it.
287
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,182
- Normie?
- Yeah?
288
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,017
Are you sure
you want to have a kid?
289
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,018
I don't know.
290
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,644
You know, once
the monster comes along,
291
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,730
your whole life
is going to be different.
292
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:16,981
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
293
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,649
Coach, you've had kids.
294
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:19,776
Does a baby change you?
295
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,110
Are you kidding, Normie?
296
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,987
It can't even change itself.
297
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,866
Well, I'll have to remember that.
298
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,958
- What day is it?
- Friday.
299
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,251
Well, that's it for me.
300
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,045
Good night, everybody.
Have a good evening.
301
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,172
Sam! Sam!
Please, you can't leave.
302
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:42,382
Why not?
303
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,343
I... because a friend of yours
is dropping by this afternoon,
304
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,929
and I kind of promised that,
you know, I'd keep you here.
305
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:48,930
Oh, hey, great!
306
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,181
One of my old buds, huh?
307
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,516
I smell high times coming.
308
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,227
Well, no, actually,
it's one of your old girlfriends.
309
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,353
Ooh, better still.
310
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,522
Hope it's one of the wild ones,
Coach.
311
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,023
But then again,
312
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,691
they were all wild,
weren't they?
313
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,568
Well, no, they weren't all wild.
314
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,071
Hold it right there, Coach!
315
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,656
If you're talking a--
316
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,118
If you're talking about the stick,
317
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,286
I'm going to pull your lower lip
up over your head
318
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,496
like a cabbage leaf.
319
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,041
Aw, come on,
cut it out, Carla.
320
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,918
Diane's not coming back here.
321
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,545
She said she's not coming back.
322
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,713
Well, she just might come by.
323
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,798
What makes you say that?
324
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:24,799
Because I asked her.
325
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,050
You what?--
326
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,510
Sam!
327
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,470
Come on, what the hell
did you do that for?
328
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,222
I knew you were
going to hate this,
329
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,766
but, please, just listen
to what she has to say.
330
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,934
Promise me.
331
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,727
Oh, oh, I--
332
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,229
I know what this
is all about.
333
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,565
It's this drinking crap,
isn't it, Coach?
334
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,191
How many times
I got to tell you?
335
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,901
I'm drinking because I like it,
336
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,571
because it tastes good,
and because I want to.
337
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,865
Oh, G--
338
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,200
Coach, I don't want
to see Diane Chambers.
339
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,327
Well, you're going
to have to see her
340
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,414
because she's coming by here
any second now!
341
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,791
God!
342
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,586
We are all sitting around here
like we're at the Queen's Tea,
343
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,755
and that thing
is on its way.
344
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:08,176
In fact,
it's very close.
345
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,678
I can sense it.
346
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,685
Oh!
347
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:18,978
It's here!
348
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,605
And it's going to walk in
349
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,274
and say something.
350
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,320
Stay out of this, Carla.
351
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,167
Hello...
352
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,877
Sam.
353
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,673
Hi there.
354
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,717
Did you forget something?
355
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,178
I just dropped in
356
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,804
to see how everyone
was doing.
357
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,058
Oh, I just got back
from Florida, Diane.
358
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,102
Everybody's doing fine.
359
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,521
You're looking pretty good.
360
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:02,939
Thank you, Sam.
361
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,232
How're you doing?
362
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,651
Oh, I've never been better
in my entire life.
363
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,945
Oh, for God's sakes,
will you stop it, Sam?
364
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,613
You've been boozing
with two hands
365
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,990
ever since Diane
walked out on you.
366
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,867
Oh, Sam,
I'm so sorry.
367
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,328
You know,
you both are crazier than hell.
368
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,039
I threw her out of here
369
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,209
and my drinking has got nothing,
repeat nothing,
370
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,877
to do with Diane Chambers.
371
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,379
You hear that, everybody?
372
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,463
Nothing!
373
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,006
No, you're all wrong.
374
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,216
Sorry.
375
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,052
I did start drinking
when she left.
376
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,845
I was celebrating.
377
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,639
Celebrating
the day I got rid of you.
378
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:37,974
You hear that, everybody?
379
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,433
Celebrating.
380
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,480
Well, let me
tell you something, Sam.
381
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,649
I have two birthdays now.
382
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,943
One to mark the occasion
when my mother bore me,
383
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,529
and one to commemorate
my glorious rebirth
384
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,030
when I walked out of here.
385
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,240
Just one more time--
386
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,658
You did not walk out of here.
387
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,951
I kicked you out,
388
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,369
and I would do it again,
389
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,663
except no man deserves
that much pleasure in one life.
390
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,958
Your brain could find shelter
in the shade of a snow pea.
391
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,167
Hey!
392
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,335
Don't, Sam!
393
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,589
Please.
394
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,799
I didn't come here
to fight with you.
395
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,927
I came here to help.
396
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,220
Ah.
397
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,973
Well, I've never been happier
in my entire life.
398
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,516
What're you going to do?
399
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,310
Help me out of all my happiness?
400
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,853
You're the one person
who could do it.
401
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:28,024
No, all I really want you to do
is see a friend of mine.
402
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:32,028
He's a man I met recently
at a sana... vacation.
403
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,030
She's been locked up
404
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,240
in a home for the silly
in Connecticut
405
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,325
for three months.
406
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:38,534
I was not locked up.
407
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,952
I could come and go at will.
408
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,370
And, besides, it's not true.
409
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,997
And how did you know about it?
410
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,710
I got a cousin
who's a private dick.
411
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,087
I wanted to find out
if you were really gone.
412
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,672
And you were really gone.
413
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,843
I entered Goldenbrook
of my own volition
414
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,763
for a little rest, relaxation...
415
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,391
What are you laughing at?
416
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,938
Well, I've had women
get depressed when they left me,
417
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,774
but I've never had one
that went--
418
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,322
Charm like yours
419
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,574
is a hard thing
to live without, all right.
420
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,036
It had nothing to do with you,
Sam.
421
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:25,456
After I left here,
I decided I needed to regroup.
422
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,959
I needed to go someplace
and take a good look at myself.
423
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,711
Ah, shock treatment.
424
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,633
Carla, let's help Sam first.
425
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,635
And when the psychiatric profession
426
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,387
has gained confidence
from that triumph,
427
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,514
we'll put every man Jack
of them on your case.
428
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,351
Sam?
429
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,645
Will you please
just meet this man?
430
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,064
Come on, Diane.
431
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,440
Look, it...
432
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,818
Yeah, I'm drinking again,
but it-- it's not...
433
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,444
it's not the same thing.
434
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,572
This time, it's good-time
controlled drinking.
435
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,199
Before, it was negative.
436
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,450
Now it's for fun.
437
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,370
It won't kill you
to talk to the guy, Sam.
438
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,790
Coach, it's a waste of time.
439
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,375
Am I right, Carla?
440
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,632
See what the Stick's friend
has got to say.
441
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,634
Oh, come on, Carla,
you don't think...
442
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,636
You listening to this, guys?
443
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,096
Sammy...
444
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,597
I just want to say this
445
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,307
because you're my friend, all right?
446
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,726
Don't get all defensive,
447
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,310
but maybe you are drinking
448
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:29,520
a little more than you should.
449
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,688
Well, so are you.
450
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,982
I already have a mother,
lush-face.
451
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:37,778
Sorry.
452
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,158
I just think maybe you
ought to hear the guy out.
453
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,034
Hey, Sammy, the way I see it
454
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,411
is it can't do any harm
455
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,121
and psychiatry has come a long way
456
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,166
since the snake-pit age.
457
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,500
Sam?
458
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,545
They're all trying to tell you
you need help.
459
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,131
I know what they're saying.
And I know why they're saying it.
460
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,759
Coach here has gotten them all
to gang up on me.
461
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,885
Boy, I tell you,
462
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,553
when you try to be
a fun-loving drunk,
463
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,097
you sure find out
who your friends are.
464
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,724
Okay, Sam, fine, forget it.
465
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:07,892
Drink all you want.
466
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,643
But I know the real reason
you're doing it.
467
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,061
Oh, what are you talking about?
468
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,313
What real reason?
469
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,606
Well, you're afraid
470
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,232
that I'm right
about you and the doctor.
471
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,777
And one thing in the world
you can't stand
472
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,695
is admitting that I'm right
about anything.
473
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,739
Wrong again.
474
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,451
You're scared, Sam.
475
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:32,249
Okay...
476
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,335
if I go see this guy,
and he tells me
477
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,462
that I'm just a happy,
well-adjusted souse,
478
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,755
which he will,
479
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,799
if the quack has a brain
in his head,
480
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,842
would you all please
leave me alone?
481
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,344
Of course. Won't we?
482
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:44,470
Yeah, sure.
483
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,849
Okay, fine.
484
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:51,852
Tell him to drop by.
485
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:53,854
I'll try to fit him in
between dames.
486
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,481
Why don't you say hello
to him right now?
487
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,565
Hello, Sam.
488
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,779
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane.
I'm sorry I startled you.
489
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:04,031
This is weird.
490
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,201
Diane told me
that you're basically a good,
491
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,245
open-minded person
and that you'd be responsive,
492
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,705
so I took the liberty
of dropping by a little early.
493
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,290
She actually said something nice
about me, huh?
494
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,125
She says a lot of nice things
about you.
495
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,253
Really?
496
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,880
So what say we go somewhere
497
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,424
and have a cup of coffee
498
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:25,678
and... get to know each other?
499
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,597
Okay. Fine.
500
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:32,685
A few cups of Irish coffee
and a chat it is.
501
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,728
Do you mind if I freshen up
a little bit?
502
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,064
- Fine.
- Thank you, Sam.
503
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,026
Boy, you sure are back in here
504
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,988
for somebody who said
they were never coming back in here.
505
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,491
Human beings change, Sam.
506
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,869
I've changed. So can you.
507
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:53,038
And rest assured, my coming here
is a one-time visit.
508
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,707
Correct me if I'm wrong,
509
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,502
but you just called me human
for the first time.
510
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,632
I guess I just needed
a little time to think about it.
511
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:12,892
I knew it.
512
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,977
- What?
- I knew it.
513
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:15,978
What? Knew what?
514
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,563
Aw, come on, are you kidding me,
Coach?
515
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,815
Don't you see what's going on here?
She's nuts about me.
516
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,735
Her young
Dr. Killjoy there
517
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,194
is just her way of saving face
518
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:25,529
to get back in the bar.
519
00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:26,822
Gee, I don't know, Sam.
520
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,115
I... Oh, come on.
521
00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:29,700
I know the look.
522
00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:31,535
She's in love.
523
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:35,289
Well, I have to run.
524
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:36,916
Diane, you're
a remarkable woman
525
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:39,335
to help a man who's caused you
so much grief.
526
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,755
I'm free of it now, Frasier.
527
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,548
I'm free of so many things
528
00:23:44,715 --> 00:23:46,842
now that I've fallen in love with you.
529
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:52,473
I am the luckiest person
on earth.
530
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,974
The second luckiest.
531
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,434
No, no.
532
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:57,519
Not here, Diane.
533
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,147
Of course.
534
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:01,774
I get carried away
sometimes.
535
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:02,983
I understand.
536
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,444
That's why I love you.