1
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Hey, Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,007
Good afternoon, everybody.
3
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Norm!
4
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What'll you have, Normie?
5
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Uh, a 1929 Lafitte Rothschild,
Coach.
6
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Or a beer,
7
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whatever everyone else
is having.
8
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Hey, uh, Norm,
we haven't heard much lately
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,647
about your quest to sire an heir
for the old throne there.
10
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So how goeth the baby making?
11
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Not good.
12
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Vera thinks it's my fault
she's not pregnant.
13
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Says I'm not trying
hard enough.
14
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Well, I, uh, hope before you answered
intemperately, Norm,
15
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you took into account her frustration
and the old maternal instinct department.
16
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Oh, I said,
"Drop dead in a ditch."
17
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Perfect.
18
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I used to think that sleeping was
the greatest pleasure you could have in bed.
19
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Now I'm sure of it.
20
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Hey, Norm, what's the matter?
21
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Don't you like
having sex with your wife?
22
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We're not exactly what each other wants
in a sexual partner, you know?
23
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Well, for example, she wishes
I looked a little more like...
24
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Charles Bronson.
25
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And, uh...
26
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Well, I wish she looked
a little less like Charles Bronson.
27
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Carla, tell me what you think about
this new cologne of mine.
28
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What do you think?
29
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I like it.
30
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When will I be able
to see again?
31
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Thank you very much, Carla.
32
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You got some customers
waiting for you over there.
33
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Right away.
34
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Someone want to lead me to them,
please?
35
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White wine, please.
36
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,161
White wine.
37
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Uh, Coach, I'll handle this one.
38
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I hope this is not going
to embarrass you too much,
39
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but I just got to tell you
you have the most beautiful eyes
40
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I have ever seen.
41
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Well, I kind of get flustered,
but it's nice to hear.
42
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If I were to tell you
you had a beautiful body,
43
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would you hold it against me?
44
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Gee, even I've heard that one.
45
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I don't seem to be doing too well
with my patter here tonight.
46
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Maybe I ought to just rely
on my looks.
47
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Have you seen this one?
48
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Oh, you.
49
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,363
I guess I'm just a sucker
for sophistication.
50
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,323
Well, now that I've charmed
your socks off,
51
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,368
you want to go out to dinner
with me tonight?
52
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,787
You know a place
where they don't require socks?
53
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I bet I could find one.
54
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So what do you say, shall we?
55
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I can't leave just yet.
56
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I came by to see somebody.
57
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Ah, who?
58
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,046
Amanda?
59
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,548
Diane!
60
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:35,757
Hi!
61
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,595
So you two,
uh, know each other, huh?
62
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Nothing gets by this guy.
63
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Sam, this is my friend
Amanda Boyer.
64
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Amanda, this is my friend,
Sam Malone.
65
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Well, uh, you're going to have
to excuse us here.
66
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I think we're on our way out
to dinner.
67
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,863
Actually, I came by
to see you.
68
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,239
You want to have lunch
sometime?
69
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,700
Lunch sometime...
70
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,285
Are you two
going out together?
71
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,287
Oh, you're pretty sharp yourself there,
Diane.
72
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:11,042
Before you do, could I speak with you
about a problem, Sam?
73
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Trouble in the back room.
74
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,379
You're not going to talk about me,
are you?
75
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Oh, don't be silly.
76
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,967
That woman's a mess.
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Don't go out with her.
78
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Why not?
79
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Well, I can't tell you now.
80
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Just trust me for once.
81
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Well, you're going to have
to give me some kind of hint.
82
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,151
I really can't say anything.
83
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,906
Oh, I can't believe
you're so blatantly jealous.
84
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,366
You still can't stand the sight of me
with another woman, huh?
85
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,538
My heart goes out to any living creature
in your company.
86
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,293
You know, one of these days
you're going to wise up and realize
87
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that if you want a chance
of getting back together with me,
88
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you're going to have to start
talking a little nicer.
89
00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,591
Sam?
90
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:04,054
You are an unmitigated
egomaniac.
91
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,639
Too little, too late.
92
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,267
Good night.
93
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,067
You know, Normie,
I was just thinking.
94
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,945
When you and Vera
do have the baby,
95
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you're going to have to
give the kid a name, right?
96
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,741
Yeah, we're toying with the idea
of naming it.
97
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,328
Well, when it comes time
to name the baby,
98
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,038
you should consider Barry.
99
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,332
Why? What's so special about Barry?
100
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,836
Well, he's a whiz with names, Cliff.
He gave me my nickname.
101
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,504
"Coach?"
102
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,672
What?
103
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,342
Never mind.
104
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:47,055
Uh, as I was saying, Norm,
Barry gave me my nickname Coach.
105
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,266
Gee, that was inventive.
106
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,643
You were a coach,
so he called you "Coach."
107
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,312
You know, you're probably right,
Larry,
108
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,523
because I always thought
he gave me the name
109
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because I never flew
first class.
110
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,366
We're not going to need
Barry's help, Coach.
111
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We already have a whole list
of names to fight over.
112
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We're going to wait now
till the baby's born
113
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,789
and fight over boy names
or girl names.
114
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,417
Well, Norm, you don't have to wait
till the baby's born,
115
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:19,004
to figure out a name,
if you use, you know, sonar.
116
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Oh, yeah,
Sonar's a beautiful name.
117
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Hey, everybody!
118
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Sam.
119
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Well, what happened?
120
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That was an awfully long dinner.
121
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Oh, this is pitiful,
122
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you wearing your heart
on your sleeve like that.
123
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,688
How did you and Amanda
get along?
124
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,273
Well, she's okay,
I guess.
125
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Not triple-A,
but the food was good,
126
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and, uh, she's got
pretty good table manners.
127
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High praise from a man
128
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,949
who thinks mashed potatoes
are finger food.
129
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So, you didn't
make any plans
130
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,121
to see each other
again?
131
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,497
Oh, you know, I like it
132
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,167
when a woman is hot for me,
but this is ridiculous.
133
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It's none of your business,
but if you must know, yeah,
134
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I was thinking
about calling her again.
135
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,589
Oh, no.
136
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:07,594
Oh, I wish Frasier weren't
at that nerve-ending symposium.
137
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,931
Well, I guess
I have to tell you the truth.
138
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:17,020
Amanda and I became friends
at... a place.
139
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,272
Ooh, that's pretty fascinating.
140
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,691
You're going to have
to fill me in on that later.
141
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,193
The place was Goldenbrook.
142
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,862
The booby hatch?
143
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,450
No, she looks so normal.
144
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,245
What, were you guys cellmates
or something?
145
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,958
There are no cells
at Goldenbrook.
146
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,210
I was there of my own volition,
147
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:44,798
as were a lot of other normal people
who just needed a little time to rest
148
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:49,928
and sort out their feelings
under constant psychiatric supervision.
149
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,266
Oh, I shouldn't even
be talking to you.
150
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,894
Maybe I'm being an alarmist.
151
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,146
She wouldn't be out if she still
had problems.
152
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,398
You're out.
153
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,948
What exactly is wrong
with that kid?
154
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,658
Oh, I didn't want to tell you
155
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,494
because we were
in group therapy together
156
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,579
and I didn't want
to violate her confidence.
157
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,165
I guess I have to tell you now.
158
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,711
Please don't ever
tell another living soul.
159
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,795
No.
160
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,674
Amanda is obsessive with men.
161
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Oh, my God! No.
162
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,595
Wait a second,
wait a second.
163
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,888
What does that mean,
exactly?
164
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,473
She likes men a lot?
165
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,226
When she decides
that she wants a man,
166
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:42,814
she develops an excessive preoccupation
and possessiveness
167
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,733
and becomes totally irrational.
168
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,527
Oh, you mean kind of
like you... land a.
169
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,611
"Youlanda" Johnson.
170
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,780
You don't know her.
Very obsessive woman.
171
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,535
She is nothing like "Youlanda."
172
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,370
Whatever.
173
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,749
Listen, I wasn't thinking about it,
but if I ever do go out with her again,
174
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,542
the first sign of trouble,
I'll back off.
175
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,460
Okay?
176
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,170
Wait a second, um,
177
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,882
what's an example
of obsessive behavior?
178
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,303
Mom, Dad, there he is,
179
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,847
the man I'm going to marry.
180
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,976
This is an example.
181
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,781
Sam, these are my parents,
Mona and Todd.
182
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,407
Hello, Sam.
183
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,785
We've heard so much
about you.
184
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:38,870
When?
185
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,873
Oh, on the drive
over here.
186
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,333
It was a long drive.
187
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,044
I feel
like I know you.
188
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,338
Oh, Daddy, stop it.
189
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,549
Mom and Dad came by to visit me
and I thought it'd be nice for them
190
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:52,425
to meet you.
191
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,720
Amanda, can I have
a word with you in private?
192
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,014
Hi, Amanda.
Mona, Todd.
193
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,518
Sam, I need to talk to you
about the inventory.
194
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,977
We'll be right back.
195
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,356
That girl looks familiar.
196
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,733
Is she the one
I met on Basket Day?
197
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,404
What were you going to do
when I interrupted?
198
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,658
I was going to get rid of her
before this gets serious.
199
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,535
Sammy, better get out there.
200
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,662
She's picking out silver patterns
with her parents.
201
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,331
Yeah, yeah, look, and tell them
Fleur-des-lis are passé, huh?
202
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,749
They won't listen to me.
203
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:32,382
We're trying to have
a private conversation.
204
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,092
We're not trying
to be nosy, I swear.
205
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,635
Just go on about your business.
206
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,430
Oh, very well.
207
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:43,643
You can't give her
some standard prearranged speech
208
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,395
you have for dumping women.
209
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,232
I do not have this standard
prearranged speech for dumping women.
210
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,066
Come on.
211
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,526
Every situation is different.
212
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,154
For example, now,
the speech I dumped you with
213
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,613
would be totally inappropriate.
214
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,910
I don't think you dumped me.
215
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,954
Oh, you see?
That was the beauty of it.
216
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,333
Come on, give me credit,
will you,
217
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,212
for knowing that I couldn't possibly
have one speech for every situation.
218
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,964
Yeah, he's got six.
219
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,051
Yeah, Sammy, I think this one calls
for number three.
220
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,512
"It's times like these,
I'm ashamed to be a man."
221
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,097
Get out!
222
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,516
Well, let's wait
a minute here, Diane.
223
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,018
Sam's a very close
personal friend.
224
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,188
He's in a crisis now,
and I just don't think it...
225
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,814
Okay, have a couple of beers
on me.
226
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,025
Okay.
227
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,829
Sammy, you know where to find us
if you need any help.
228
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:49,500
Oh, boy.
229
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,627
Sam...
230
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,755
That woman out there
is very vulnerable.
231
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:57,800
Whatever you say to her
has to be sensitive and real.
232
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,804
Otherwise the consequence
could be horrendous.
233
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,183
What do you mean by that?
234
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,605
Well, she could do something
ghastly again.
235
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,440
You don't mean--
236
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,067
Yes, she could try to kill herself.
237
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,318
Oh, thank God.
238
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,819
I thought I was in danger there.
239
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,656
No, no, I...
that's not what I meant.
240
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,074
You're making me
a nervous wreck here.
241
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,826
Just tell me what to say to her
so she doesn't hurt herself,
242
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:24,827
and I'll say it.
243
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,329
Well, I wish I knew.
244
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,331
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Well, she'll--
245
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,166
She'll try to manipulate you.
246
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,710
- Okay.
- Be strong. Don't waiver.
247
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,713
And ease into the rejection
gently.
248
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,507
Okay, you think that'll work?
249
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,218
Well, if not,
have a nice honeymoon.
250
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,065
Hi.
251
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,525
I'm sorry to keep you
and your folks waiting.
252
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,651
That's okay.
253
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,236
They like you a lot.
254
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,905
You make a wonderful
first impression.
255
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,699
Well, it's my best one.
256
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,493
Amanda, I...
257
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,953
Please,
please don't dump me.
258
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,330
Please, Sam, please.
259
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,749
Give me another chance.
260
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,418
I shouldn't have brought my parents.
261
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,045
That was just stupid
and impulsive of me,
262
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,297
and I don't even like them.
263
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,464
I'm going to get rid of them.
264
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,300
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
265
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,552
I... was just going to say
266
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,930
I wonder if they would like
to have a drink.
267
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,855
Well, uh, no, thank you,
they don't drink.
268
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,315
But thank you
for thinking of them.
269
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,524
You're welcome.
270
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,026
Then I was going
to say--
271
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:38,985
No, no!
272
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,030
- Please, Sam, please...
- Would you just please, please,
273
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,490
just let me finish
what I was going to say
274
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,242
before you jump to conclusions?
275
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,870
Now, just, just sit down
and don't say anything.
276
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,371
I'm sorry.
277
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,124
It's okay.
278
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,628
Amanda...
279
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,258
I like you
and I respect you too much
280
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,968
not to be honest.
281
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,721
Now, I'm sorry if I misled you,
282
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:10,933
but I just don't want
to pursue this relationship.
283
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,985
Ooh, I'm so embarrassed...
284
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,403
and ashamed...
285
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,114
and tired.
286
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,908
Oh, I'm very tired.
287
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,913
I'm sorry, Sam, for everything.
288
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,247
Goodbye, Sam.
289
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,250
Are you... are you all right?
290
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,878
Oh, sure.
291
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,380
It-- it-- it's my fault.
292
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,049
You are such a nice guy.
293
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:49,263
Please don't blame yourself
for anything that has ever happened.
294
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,273
Or anything
that's going to happen.
295
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,194
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a second here now.
296
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,488
What do you mean
by that?
297
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:10,701
Sam, you don't have
to worry about me anymore.
298
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:11,702
Remember?
299
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,037
We're through.
300
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:17,583
Oh, but, I didn't mean the bad through,
I meant the good through.
301
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,420
What's the good through?
302
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,214
Well, that's where we would--
303
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,425
We would go out to dinner
right now
304
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,595
and then maybe have a drive
down the Cape
305
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,682
and, uh, maybe even
see each other tomorrow, huh?
306
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,184
The Cape would be pretty
tonight.
307
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,521
I'd like that, Sam.
308
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:42,358
Well, there. You see how fun
through can be?
309
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,445
I'll get my parents
310
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,114
and we'll drop them off
at some bus stop.
311
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,866
Well, uh...
312
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,454
You have another date with her,
right?
313
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,998
Well, no, I wouldn't call it
exactly a date.
314
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,500
It's more like
a lifetime commitment.
315
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,475
My goodness, Norman,
you and Vera have compiled
316
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,519
quite an extensive list
of baby names, huh?
317
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,938
Yeah, yeah, we think up names
when we make love.
318
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,067
It kind of helps
to pass the time.
319
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:32,116
May I suggest that you add
one more to the boys' list?
320
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,118
My favorite
has always been Toby.
321
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,037
Toby?
322
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,832
Why don't you just name him
"Precious" or "Pumpkin Pie"
323
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,292
and be done with it?
324
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,295
You know, my ex-
may not be a class act,
325
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,839
but he's got a first-rate
male name, Nick.
326
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,216
Yeah, well,
it's on the list here.
327
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,300
- Nick.
- Oh, good.
328
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,385
Uh, you ought to have Sam
down there.
329
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,888
Sam's here, Coach,
right next to Ernie.
330
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,056
Oh, thank you, Norm.
331
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,225
Well, it looks, uh,
it looks like my buddy's
332
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,227
got all the bases covered,
uh, here, huh?
333
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,269
Yeah.
334
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,522
Where's, uh,
where's my name?
335
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,523
What?
336
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,441
Clifford.
Where's Clifford?
337
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,320
Come on, name a kid Cliff?
338
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,906
I should...
have a heart.
339
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,325
Hey, look, Norm, you got every other
male name down there
340
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,618
except, uh, Zeus.
341
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,287
Zeus?
I like that, Zeus.
342
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,459
Oh, hey, Diane, you're back.
Good.
343
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,670
I think you might be interested to know
I finally handled
344
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:29,006
that sticky situation with Amanda
and I did it in a way
345
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,508
that'll make you very proud of me.
346
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,343
- Really?
- Yeah.
347
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,469
Ooh, got to go.
348
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,105
Diane...
349
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,567
I know that Sam
350
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,069
would not have wanted
a big fuss,
351
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,906
but shouldn't we have
some sort of funeral for him?
352
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,995
Good lord.
353
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,957
Amanda, I think we better
straighten this out.
354
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,041
Sam!
355
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,005
Sam, open the door.
We have to talk.
356
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,631
Has the freak show
gone yet?
357
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,341
Oh, hi...
358
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,093
we haven't been
introduced yet.
359
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,261
I'm Ed, Sam's twin brother.
360
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,596
I'm here to handle
the estate.
361
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,806
Oh, boy.
362
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,102
Twin brother. What a trick, huh?
363
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,937
That's why he's the boss.
364
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,944
I can't believe
you did this to me, Sam.
365
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,113
I'm sorry, Amanda.
366
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,782
I know it was stupid and cruel.
367
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,743
I could
have handled it better.
368
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,580
I guess I could have
pretended to be sick for a few days first.
369
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,753
You don't have
to apologize, Sam.
370
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,588
I do.
371
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,549
I put you in a terrible spot.
372
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,009
Amanda...
373
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,136
don't despair.
374
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:02,016
Just when my life seemed
to be its darkest,
375
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,143
I met Frasier Crane,
376
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,563
and discovered love
doesn't have to hurt you.
377
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,649
Yeah, you can sleep
right through it.
378
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,030
I made a lot of mistakes
here, Sam.
379
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:21,369
And I have a history
of being wrong about men...
380
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,456
But I know it's different
this time with you.
381
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,043
No matter what happens,
382
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:35,007
I'll never stop loving you
till the day I die,
383
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,968
you'll always be mine.
384
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,306
Well, this is going pretty well,
wouldn't you say?
385
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,726
Amanda,
I didn't want to do this,
386
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,478
but I have to tell you
something now
387
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,231
that will change the way
you feel about Sam.
388
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,817
Nothing you could ever say
389
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:56,028
will change the way
I feel about him.
390
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,571
Except this.
391
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,031
Except nothing.
392
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,076
No matter what you ever do,
393
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,995
no matter where you ever go,
394
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,624
I'll never get over you.
395
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:14,255
Amanda, do you remember
the man I used to talk about
396
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,589
in group therapy?
397
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,049
Ralph?
398
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,427
This is Ralph.
399
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,600
Sam is Ralph?
400
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,646
That's right.
401
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,442
The man to whom you
just pledged your undying love
402
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,985
is Ralph.
403
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,655
Well, he can't hold me to that.
404
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:45,161
If they won't let me sign contracts
or have a credit card or vote,
405
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:49,290
then I am not responsible
for hysterical hogwash that I babbled
406
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:50,708
in the back room
of a bar.
407
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:56,380
Thank you
for saving me, Diane.
408
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,680
Sam...
409
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,807
I will think of you...
410
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,479
every time I see something
scurry under the sink.
411
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,155
I don't mean
to seem ungrateful...
412
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:26,494
but what exactly did you say about me
in this group therapy?
413
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:27,828
I told them the truth.
414
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:28,954
For instance?
415
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,666
Oh, I don't want
to get into this.
416
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,629
I made a lot of mistakes myself.
417
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,923
I was not a perfect girlfriend.
418
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,174
No, come on, come on,
419
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:43,969
I want to know what lousy things
these people know about me.
420
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,639
I told them about Christmas.
421
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:47,640
That again?
422
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,767
Come on, what is wrong
with giving steak knives?
423
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,019
I give them to my mother
and she loves them.
424
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,938
I give them to you
and I never hear the end of it.
425
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,525
Sam, for heaven's sake,
I was your lover.
426
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,236
You could have given me
something more personal.
427
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,946
Oh, what did you give me
for Christmas?
428
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,114
A scarf.
What's so personable about that?
429
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:07,493
I knit it myself.
430
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,037
And I had to take classes
to learn how.
431
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,706
I sent away for the cashmere
months in advance
432
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,458
just to get that particular grade.
433
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:18,462
I consulted a colorist
to determine the best colors for you
434
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:22,341
and I hand-dyed
the fabric myself.
435
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,929
Yeah, well, I would have
made the steak knives,
436
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,682
except I hocked my forge
to buy the bar.
437
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:32,852
What else?
438
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,898
I told them about the time
I was laid up with the flu
439
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,275
and you didn't visit me once.
440
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,151
- That...
- And you sent me
441
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:44,822
secondhand flowers
for Valentine's Day.
442
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:46,156
Well, that--
I was nowhere near...
443
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:47,908
You want to hear this
or not?
444
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,245
I told them about
the time I cooked you
445
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:54,248
a seven-course Szechuan dinner
for your birthday
446
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:56,083
and you had a burger
on the way over.
447
00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:57,877
I remember that,
and there was an explanation.
448
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,045
I just can't remember
what it was.
449
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,591
And the time you lied
about a relative dying
450
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:07,928
so you could go skiing
and debauching with your buddies.
451
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:10,973
You still don't see the humor
in that?
452
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:18,480
I wanted to spend
the day with you
453
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:22,568
after our first night together
and you went to a football game.
454
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:25,905
Well, it wasn't a football game.
455
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,490
I mean, the winners
went to the play-offs.
456
00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:30,784
Oh, just forget it!
457
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,536
I'm sorry.
458
00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:35,289
What?
459
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:36,749
I'm sorry.
460
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:42,296
I did the best I could
when I was with you.
461
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:45,424
I mean, you're right, I have blind spots
462
00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:47,384
and I'm not
a very good boyfriend,
463
00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:50,012
but I have never tried harder
with any woman in my life.
464
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,264
I mean, we had some bad times,
465
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,516
but I tell you,
the good times with you
466
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,393
were some of the best
of my life.
467
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:09,073
That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
468
00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:11,075
- Diane, I...
- No, Sam, stop.
469
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:12,368
I want to get out of here
470
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,036
before you say something stupid
that ruins it.
471
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,245
No, no, no, no...
472
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,122
No, no, no, no,
now, stop.
473
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,082
Don't ruin it.
474
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,166
I'm not going to ruin it.
All I want--
475
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,674
Oh, yeah,
that would have ruined it.
476
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,134
Oh, would it ever!