1 00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,755 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:07,758 Hi, everybody. 3 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,760 - Hi, Carla. - Carla. 4 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,387 Hey, listen, Sam, I'm sorry I'm late. 5 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,723 I realize I left you here without a waitress. 6 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,394 What am I, chopped liver? 7 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,605 No, some people enjoy chopped liver. 8 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,360 What got you in such a bad mood today? 9 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,987 Oh, I don't know. Everything. 10 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,406 You know, this morning I was thinking. I'm not married, 11 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,825 I'm carrying my sixth kid, 12 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,828 I'm broke, I live in squalor. 13 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,165 I'm having a crisis of faith. 14 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,209 Oh, come on, Carla, don't talk like that. 15 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,504 Well, would a just God be putting me through this, Coach? 16 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:49,132 Well, Carla, I know it looks sort of bleak out there, 17 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,802 but you just have to have patience. You know, remember Job. 18 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,764 Cliff ie's right, honey. You got a good job here. 19 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,686 You're in great health. 20 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,397 I don't know. I don't know. 21 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,818 Cliff, I didn't want to embarrass you in front of Carla, 22 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,195 but you pronounce the word "job." 23 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,320 Frasier, what a surprise to see you here today. 24 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,864 Diane, I've got the most exciting news that just couldn't wait. 25 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,367 Well, what is it? You're positively tingling. 26 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:39,701 Come and sit down. 27 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,204 I have been awarded an honor that surpasses 28 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,706 anything I could have hoped to achieve at this point in my career. 29 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,376 It goes beyond even my most wild and ambitious dreams. 30 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,337 Well, hey, doc, what are we talking here, Nobel Prize, huh? 31 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,963 No, we're not talking Nobel Prize. 32 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,800 - What, Pulitzer? Come on. - No, I didn't win the Pulitzer Prize. 33 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,301 Oh, a Guggenheim Fellowship. 34 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,011 No, it's not a Guggenheim Fellowship! 35 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,931 Well, what'd you win, a canned ham? You've lost all the big ones. 36 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,268 I knew I should have waited for a better moment. 37 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,312 Diane, I have been chosen 38 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:11,066 to be this year's visiting scholar at the University of Bologna. 39 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,403 Oh, Frasier, that's wonderful! 40 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,863 University of Bologna? 41 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:21,535 I can't believe they need a university for a thing like that. 42 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,580 I know it's a complicated meat, but... 43 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,873 Coach... 44 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:33,130 Coach, the University of Bologna is the oldest university in the world. 45 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:37,801 It has what is arguably the finest school of psychology in Europe. 46 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,178 Now inarguably the finest. 47 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,222 Who's the dean, Oscar Mayer? 48 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,231 I hear sausage jokes are making a comeback. 49 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,569 Well, now, here's the exciting news. 50 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,155 My teaching load will be light enough 51 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,074 to provide us ample time to travel throughout Europe. 52 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,286 - Us? - Well, yes. I thought you'd notice that. 53 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,580 I'm leaving in two weeks, and I'd love for you to come along. 54 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,878 Why, that would be wonderful, wouldn't it? 55 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:18,091 - How long would we be gone? - Six months. 56 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,218 Six months. Well... 57 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,972 This would be a very big undertaking. 58 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,349 So many details to take care of. 59 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:31,938 My apartment, a passport, my plants, my classes, 60 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,524 Sam, paper, my dry-cleaning. 61 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,736 - Sam? - Well, yes. 62 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:41,698 You know what a devastating effect it had on him the last time I left. 63 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,326 Frasier, he's fragile. 64 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,244 He can be wounded. 65 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,623 Oh, here. Doc, hey. 66 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,542 Have you ever seen a guy who could do pushups with his tongue? 67 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,544 - Well, no, I haven't. - Watch this. 68 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,888 Guys. Watch this, watch this. 69 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,933 - That's good. - You see, Diane, 70 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,352 even without you, his life is very full. 71 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,232 Frasier, I'm serious. 72 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,400 All right. Look, I was Sam's therapist. 73 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,528 I'll tell him about this and observe his reaction. 74 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,739 If he shows any anxiety whatsoever, I'll be here to assuage it. 75 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,908 Sam, can I have a word with you for a second? 76 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:29,246 - Sure, doc, what's up? - Diane and I are going to Europe. 77 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,040 Europe? Overseas? 78 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:37,504 Well, we were going to go to the local one, but it's all booked up. 79 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,631 I'm going to be teaching there for six months, 80 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,132 and Diane is going with me. 81 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,469 And you may never see her again. 82 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,473 Well, that's... I'm happy for you guys. That's won... 83 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,101 Maybe I should throw you a bon-voyage party or something, huh? 84 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,561 What do you think? 85 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,146 - You're not bothered? - Not bothered? 86 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:58,316 How delightfully naive. He's repressing on all 12 cylinders. 87 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,443 Come along, Sam. I wanna have a little chit-chat 88 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,987 with you in your office. 89 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,822 What are we gonna talk about, Frasier? 90 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,658 We're going to talk about the emotions that you're repressing right now. 91 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,244 I'm here for you, Sam, and I promise I won't leave 92 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,829 until you can deal with this. 93 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,790 She doesn't want to go to Europe. She doesn't love me. 94 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,876 She's still harboring feelings for you. 95 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,422 Oh, come on, Frasier, that again? 96 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,465 Well, yes. You should've seen the look on her face 97 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,426 when I asked her to go to Europe with me just now. 98 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,472 Boy, yeah, she is a great cure for happiness, isn't she? 99 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,225 Well... Now, wait a second. 100 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,644 You can't expect her to jump up and down with joy 101 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,188 - about this thing right off the bat. - I'd love to know why. 102 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,107 Well, because Diane is Diane. 103 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,318 I mean, she's never done anything in her entire life 104 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:42,903 without thinking about it. 105 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,322 I mean, she analyzes the blood out of everything. 106 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,491 If you were to go up to her and say, "Can I offer you a million dollars?" 107 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,784 She'd say, "No, no, no, no, 108 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,579 that's, 'May I offer you a million dollars?'" 109 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,208 I admit she does have a tendency to be cerebral. 110 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,545 You know, I just never pictured myself in a relationship 111 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,340 where I would be the wild and impulsive one. 112 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,302 Let's be fair, though, Sam. 113 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,304 I mean, she does know how to show a man a good time. 114 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,223 Yeah, you're right. I remember we'd be out together and she'd say, 115 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,601 "Hey, Sam, look over there. Those guys are having a good time." 116 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,188 Come on. I bet she comes around here, Frasier. 117 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,439 I bet she's outside right now, 118 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,651 thinking this whole Europe thing's a good idea. 119 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,028 - You really think so? - Yeah, I know so. 120 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,072 How is he? 121 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,823 - Oh, he'll be all right. - Oh, he'll be all right. 122 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,369 See, I already got my sense of humor back. 123 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,745 Good man. 124 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,375 Sam, you were really bothered by this news? 125 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:44,965 Well, Diane, I just used Sam as a cover. It was me. 126 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,634 I was hurt that your reaction to my Europe news 127 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,678 was half-hearted at best. 128 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,222 Oh, Frasier. 129 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,933 Well, I've had a little time to think about it now, 130 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,896 and I want you to know that Europe sounds wonderful. 131 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,357 I can't imagine a more romantic place 132 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:05,902 or a more appropriate person with whom to share it. 133 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:10,073 Oh, that's wonderful. Sam said you'd come around. 134 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,202 Lucky guess. 135 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,040 Well, dear, may I have a moment alone with Sam? 136 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,876 Oh, certainly. You know, I'm almost late for my session as it is. 137 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,963 Bye-bye, Sam. Arrivederci, Diane. 138 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,172 Ciao, Frasier. 139 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,178 How I hate you. 140 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,394 I'd love to smack that smug look off your face. 141 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,857 You're pretending not to care because you believe 142 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:48,778 that Europe will be the death knell for my relationship with Frasier Crane. 143 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,073 Either because I won't go at all or because the stress 144 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,994 of traveling together for six months will break us up. 145 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,078 Right? 146 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,997 Listen to me. 147 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,417 I'm sincere about this. I like you two... 148 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,211 ...and I wanna see you both happy. 149 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,924 Thank you, Sam. 150 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,095 I mean, after all, just because the two of us didn't travel well... 151 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,474 - When did we ever travel? - Are you kidding me? 152 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,809 We went through hell together. 153 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,605 Yes. 154 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,149 Well, it helped that you knew the language. 155 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,407 Carla, what are you looking for, a sign from God? 156 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,035 Religious belief is based on faith. 157 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,204 Yeah, well, I never thought I'd say this, Coach, 158 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,997 but I think I've lost faith. 159 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,625 Hey, listen up, everybody. I have an announcement to make. 160 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,710 Diane here is leaving for Europe, 161 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,004 and she's not gonna be back to Cheers ever. 162 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,924 I believe 163 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:56,221 For every drop of rain that falls A flower grows 164 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,555 I believe 165 00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:02,477 That somewhere in the darkest night A candle glows 166 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,486 You know, Sam, I gotta tell you, 167 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,157 I can't see Diane going off with Doc like that. 168 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,953 I always figured that you and her would get married, you know. 169 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,372 - Come on, Coach. - No, no, I'm not kidding. 170 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:27,418 I... I pictured you moving to a little home in the country 171 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,796 with a rose garden out in the front 172 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,799 and a nice little room in the back for me... 173 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,302 ...and, you know, every Sunday night 174 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,973 Diane would make us a fried chicken dinner, 175 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,143 and we'd sit on the porch and listen to the ball game. 176 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,603 I'd bounce your kids on my knee. 177 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,314 God, it was gonna be a happy house. 178 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,861 Well, I guess that's gonna be Frasier's house now, Coach. 179 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,405 Well, you can come by any time, Sam. 180 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,659 But call first. 181 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,122 Let's get out of here. It's late. 182 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,333 - Yep, time to go for the night, Coach. - Good night, guys. 183 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,545 - Later, Sammy. - See you. 184 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:14,674 Listen, Diane, I'm not a sentimental guy, you know, 185 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,344 and I'd like you to have a good, safe trip, huh? 186 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,097 Hey, Normie, you big monkey, 187 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,433 don't you ever be ashamed of your tender side. 188 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,187 Well... 189 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:29,981 ...goodbye, Diane. 190 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,108 Goodbye, Clifford. 191 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:40,033 Hey, come on, you two. I'm waiting for a kiss. 192 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,537 - Well, she is leaving. - Yeah. 193 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,925 Did you see the look on her face? 194 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,384 Yeah. 195 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,762 I was more worried about the look on your face. 196 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,268 Well, Diane... 197 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,732 ...I'm not gonna pretend that you're my favorite person in the world, 198 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,277 but now that it's all over... 199 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,906 ...I guess I wish you a happy life. 200 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,616 Thank you. 201 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,661 Oh, and... 202 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,457 ...I thought I'd do you a little favor before you left, 203 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,210 so I wrote down a helpful phrase in Italian. 204 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,337 Now you carry that with you wherever you go. 205 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,553 Yeah, it means, "Excuse me, Mr. Pharmacist, 206 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,555 where do you keep the peroxide?" 207 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,104 - Meet you at the car, Coach. - Yeah. 208 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:57,110 Oh, Coach, I'm gonna miss you. 209 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,070 Oh, I'm gonna miss you too, honey. 210 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:02,031 Listen, thank you for coming back, huh? 211 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,244 Will he be okay? 212 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,497 Well, I hope so. 213 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,333 - Coach, do me a favor. - Sure. 214 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,127 Stand by him. 215 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,424 No, no. Coach, Coach, come back here. 216 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,806 I tell you what, instead of standing by him, 217 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,476 why don't you just sort of watch over him? 218 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,353 Of course, of course. 219 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,522 Bye, sweetheart. 220 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,451 Well. 221 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,537 Well. 222 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,880 We haven't been alone for a long time. 223 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,590 No. 224 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,427 Boy, it's funny how things change, isn't it? 225 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:05,720 Yes. 226 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,892 I still remember the first time I came in here. 227 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,981 What a prissy little snot I was. 228 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,236 Yeah, who would have thought it could get worse, huh? 229 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,785 Diane, listen to me. 230 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,746 I think we both realize that a lot of things can happen 231 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,373 when you leave like this. 232 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,918 Who knows when we'll see each other again. 233 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,921 - I'd like you to do me a favor. - What's that, Sam? 234 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,882 I've been a real jerk to you sometimes. 235 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,011 But I'd appreciate it if, when you think of me, 236 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,680 you remember me as a decent person. 237 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,849 Of course. 238 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,894 I'll remember you as Albert Schweitzer. 239 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,273 I'd like that. Thank you. 240 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,071 Oh, I'm so glad it's ending this way... 241 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:10,159 ...after the wrath and acrimony of our breakup. 242 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,372 Yeah, I swear, I thought I'd never see you come in here again. 243 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,293 - Do you know why I came back? - Sure. 244 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,587 Because you're a woman and I'm Sammy. 245 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:30,930 Actually, it was because I was concerned about you, 246 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,474 your drinking and your health. 247 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,813 Well, thank you, because it did make a difference. 248 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,738 Who would've thought that we'd ever be standing here as friends? 249 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,575 Yeah, we are friends, aren't we? 250 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,703 Good friends. 251 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,000 Well, I'm off. 252 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:03,254 Now, wait a second here. Come on, let me give my... 253 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,714 My friend a goodbye hug, huh? 254 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,841 - Oh, Sam! - Now come on, get over here. 255 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,050 Come on. 256 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:09,802 Come on. 257 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,226 Wow. 258 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,437 What? 259 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,733 Well, this really may be the last time we see each other. 260 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,402 Wow. 261 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,990 Well, goodbye, pal. 262 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,660 Goodbye, buddy. 263 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,413 Bye, amigo. 264 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,792 Goodbye, mon ami. 265 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,504 Goodbye, compadre. 266 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,966 Well, that's that. 267 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,887 - I'll be off. - Yeah, you take care of yourself. 268 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,225 You too, Sam. 269 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,982 - Sam? - Yeah, chum? 270 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:11,030 I'm gonna count to three, and then we'll stop. 271 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,782 You got it. 272 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,743 One... 273 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,287 ...two... 274 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,414 ...two and a half... 275 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,834 ...which leads us to three. 276 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,297 Well, that wasn't so hard, was it? 277 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,011 I think we just counted to three. 278 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,559 You have a nice, safe trip. 279 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,603 - Thank you. - Yeah. 280 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:54,991 How could we have ever denied ourselves for so long? 281 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,827 Come on. Come on, come on, come on. 282 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:02,665 - Let's go back to my place, huh? - Yes. Let's go back to your place. 283 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,376 We have to make up for a lot of lost time. 284 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,586 Yeah. 285 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,136 Oh, Sam, wait. 286 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:18,431 What? What? What?! What?! What?! God! 287 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,766 I knew you couldn't be spontaneous! 288 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,560 I knew you'd have to over-analyze this! 289 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,228 What? What? What is it? 290 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,691 I was just going to say I almost forgot my purse. 291 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,866 Well, let me get that for you, sweetheart. 292 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,706 What did you think I was going to say? 293 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,458 That was it. That was it. 294 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,462 What did you think I was going to say? 295 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,131 I don't know. I thought you were gonna say, 296 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,633 "Is this just for tonight, 297 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,135 or are we gonna start this whole thing over again?" 298 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,597 - I wasn't going to say that. - Oh, bless you. 299 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,142 But now that you've brought it up... 300 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,728 Oh, damn. Damn. No, I didn't really bring it up. 301 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,855 I was just saying that as an example 302 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,524 of something that I knew neither one of us would ever say. 303 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,611 No, Sam, I'm glad you said it. 304 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:18,032 What exactly is it you have in mind? Is it a beginning or an ending? 305 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,409 Hello or goodbye? 306 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,704 One night of passion 307 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,624 or something that will last beyond tomorrow? 308 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,919 I got this feeling this conversation's gonna last beyond tomorrow. 309 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,838 What's happening? A minute ago, we were hot for each other. 310 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,133 No, I wasn't hot, I was insane. 311 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,928 I was insane. 312 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,347 I was about to abandon 313 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,516 the most brilliant, sensitive man I ever met 314 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:47,228 for one with the morals of a rutting sea-elephant... 315 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,608 - ...and the intelligence of lint. - Now, wait. Whoa, whoa. 316 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:54,819 Let's just stop right there 317 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,862 before we start insulting each other, all right? 318 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,075 Good idea, Sam. Goodbye. 319 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,161 Diane. 320 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,539 Please. 321 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,918 Maybe Frasier can give you 322 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:15,089 an iron-clad guarantee of a lifetime of security... 323 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,301 ...but with me, it's a day at a time. 324 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,264 Now, if you can live with that... 325 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,349 ...call. 326 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:53,544 Well, the last I saw, you and Diane were here alone. 327 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,671 Did you give her a goodbye boink? 328 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,676 Carla. 329 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,389 Your language. I haven't heard you talk like that in a long time. 330 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,100 Oh, yeah, I know. But, you know, 331 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,937 this morning after Mass, the priest said that he didn't think 332 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,524 that Diane's going to Bologna constituted a true miracle. 333 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,942 - No, huh? - No. 334 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,652 I told him I had witnesses and everything. 335 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,863 He said he wouldn't even take it to the bishop. 336 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,825 Well, to answer your question... 337 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,912 ...nothing happened between me and Diane. 338 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:31,081 She wanted to, but, you know... 339 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,919 - You okay? - I'm fine. 340 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,799 Cheers. 341 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,760 No, sorry, Diane's not here. 342 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,472 Oh, you're Diane? Then you're definitely not here. 343 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:50,184 No, no. He's right here. Sam, it's Diane. 344 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,482 Hey, I was hoping you'd call. I'm really glad you did. 345 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,985 I'm in a hotel room in London, Sam. 346 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,196 No, hold on one second. 347 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:11,831 Frasier and I are stopping over on our way to Italy. 348 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,374 So why you calling, huh? 349 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,586 Well, I'm... I'm calling because I've had some time 350 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,463 to think about last night. 351 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,341 We both had a moment of weakness, 352 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:27,137 and I'm glad we didn't give into it, but I hope we're still friends. 353 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,434 I don't think we're friends, Diane. 354 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,688 Well, we failed as lovers. 355 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,941 If we're not friends, what have we been these past few months? 356 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,443 We've been kidding ourselves. 357 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,864 - Goodbye, Diane. - Wait, Sam? 358 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,031 Yeah? 359 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,661 Nothing. Goodbye. 360 00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:54,081 No, before you hang up here... 361 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,335 They got postcards in Europe? 362 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,714 I'm almost sure of it. 363 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,887 Well, maybe if you think of it, you can send me one. 364 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,430 And write small. 365 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:12,516 You know how I like to read in between the lines. 366 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,021 - I'll try. - That'd be nice. 367 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,441 Thank you, Sam. 368 00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,277 Goodbye, Diane.