1 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:05,506 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:09,843 Cheers. 3 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,347 Yes, ma'am, right away. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,516 There's some lady screaming her head off. 5 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,850 What does she want? 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,228 I don't know. All I could make out was "two-timing." 7 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,813 Sam, telephone. 8 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,817 Woody, listen up and learn something. 9 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,864 Sammy here. 10 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,369 Oh, hey, I thought you'd like those flowers. 11 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,956 Yeah. No, no, that sounds like my note. 12 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,625 "Thanks for a wonderful evening, Barbara. I had a great time." 13 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,504 Well, of course I know your name's Karen. 14 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,677 You know, hey, I see your mistake here. 15 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:57,057 You see, you didn't realize that, to me, Barbara means Karen. 16 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:02,062 Well, because. Because... 17 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,899 Because "Barbara" reminds me of Barbra Streisand, and... 18 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:09,403 and you know that song about people? 19 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,573 Well, I am getting to it. 20 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:19,246 You know the line, 'First be a person who needs people"? 21 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,415 Well, who was the first person? 22 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,002 Yeah, all right, but the first female person was Eve. 23 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,797 And who's the most famous Eve of all, but Christmas Eve, right? 24 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:36,179 Yeah, well, what do you do on Christmas Eve, but you go carolling. 25 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:39,016 Right? No, I know, your name's not Carolyn. 26 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,685 But after you go carolling, 27 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:46,148 what you do is, you Karen the gifts. 28 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,902 Karen. Yeah. 29 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:55,198 Well, apology accepted, sweetheart. I'll talk to you later. 30 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,694 Hello, everybody. 31 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,278 - Hey. - Clifford. 32 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:20,659 Well, Cliff Clavin is here to bid you all glad tidings 33 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,411 and buy drinks for all my friends. 34 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:27,791 All right. What's the occasion, Cliff ie? New air-cushion insoles or something? 35 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,670 No, no, no. Better than that, Normie. 36 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:35,090 My branch office voted me Postman of the Year. 37 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,635 It's a very prestigious award too. 38 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:42,681 Only 267 given out in the greater Boston area. 39 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,184 - We're very proud of you. - Yeah. 40 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,978 Will there be a ceremony? 41 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,521 Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. 42 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:53,150 As is traditional, to be held at the gala Postman's Ball. 43 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,236 Yeah, unfortunately it's not gonna be televised. 44 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,990 I hear it's blacked out in this area anyway, so... 45 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:04,119 But I understand the postmaster general is gonna make the toast. 46 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,873 Wow, a man of his position helping out in the kitchen. 47 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,250 Only in America. 48 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,924 Excuse me, Diane? Can I have a word with you? 49 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,303 Of course. 50 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,767 "I, Cliff Clavin, would be ever so honored if you, 51 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,186 a lady of exquisite loveliness and taste, 52 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,689 whom I hold in the highest respect and esteem, 53 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,984 would accompany me with your presence at the gala Postman's Ball 54 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,612 on the 18th of this month. 55 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,781 You would be doing this only as a friend. 56 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:44,326 There is no ulterior motive or strings attached. 57 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,745 Thank you for listening." 58 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,874 - Cliff, I'd love to. - You would? 59 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,960 Yes, but I have something else planned that night. 60 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,215 It's all right. You know, just asked on the spur of the moment. 61 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,595 I'm sorry, Cliff. 62 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,222 - No. - I mean it. I am. 63 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,977 - Oh, poor Cliff. - Why? What happened? 64 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,022 Well, he asked me to his Postman's Ball, 65 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,984 and I had to tell him I already had plans for that evening. 66 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,361 What plans? 67 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,113 My cheese club meets that night. 68 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:26,743 So you're gonna eat cheese instead of helping Cliff out on this? 69 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,373 We don't only eat cheese. We talk about eating cheese. 70 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,795 Come on. Obviously, it means a lot to him. 71 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,381 All he wants to do is be seen with a classy-looking chick. 72 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,091 Oh, I don't know, Sam. 73 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,886 Look at all the people who've fallen hopelessly in love with me, 74 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:48,515 with only the slightest encouragement. 75 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,226 - You, Frasier... - Yourself. 76 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:59,234 - Well, perhaps I was being selfish. - There you go. 77 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,903 - I'll talk to Cliff the first chance I get. - Thank you. 78 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,448 Diane was crushed when she found she couldn't go to the ball with me. 79 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,492 Well, what are you gonna do now, Mr Clavin? 80 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,245 I'll just have to ask Carla. 81 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,292 Are you nuts? 82 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,252 Carla won't go with you. She despises you. 83 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,421 Well, just because she despises me, 84 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,382 doesn't mean she can't spend an evening dining and dancing with me. 85 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:30,473 - Carla...could I ask you a favor? - What? 86 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,937 - Can we talk in the poolroom? - No. 87 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,274 Carla, that wasn't the favor. 88 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,110 There's more? 89 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,904 What I have to endure. 90 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,159 Now for the kill. 91 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,752 Carla, "I, Cliff Clavin, 92 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:04,674 would be ever so honored if you, a lady of-- 93 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,718 A lady... 94 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,263 ...would accompany me with your presence 95 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,807 at the gala Postman's Ball on the 18th of this month. 96 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,018 You would be doing this only as a friend. 97 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:19,105 There is no ulterior motive or strings attached. 98 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,649 Thank you for listening." 99 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,325 Carla... 100 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,662 Carla... 101 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,332 Carla, this is really important to me. 102 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,877 I know. 103 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,879 But think of me. 104 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:50,261 All right, look, Carla, you don't have to dance with me and I'll buy you a dress. 105 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,599 - Nah. - A corsage. 106 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,893 A hundred bucks. 107 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,065 - Nah. - A VCR. 108 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,779 VCR? 109 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,158 Nice touch, but I'll have to pass. 110 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,835 Good Lord. Is that a tear? 111 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:34,431 Look, I think my greed is overcoming your repulsiveness. 112 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,392 - I'll go. - You'll go? 113 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,102 - Oh, Carla-- - First rule: 114 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,938 No physical contact of any kind. 115 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,483 But, Carla, I'm so happy, I gotta hug something. 116 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,822 Okay, you can hug me for 5 bucks. 117 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,995 That's it. 118 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,957 My pleasure. 119 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,962 Well, got a date with Carla. 120 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,922 - Seriously? - Are you kidding? 121 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,675 She fell for me like a sack of cannolis. 122 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,304 Yeah, you gotta love them, the little wenches. 123 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,640 Oh, Clifford, may I speak with you for a moment? 124 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,476 Yeah, certainly, Diane. 125 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,938 I've been thinking about it, and 126 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,274 I've decided to break my engagement 127 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,027 and join you in your evening of triumph. 128 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,323 - You'll go with me? - I wouldn't miss it for the world. 129 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,413 Normie, Normie, did you hear that? Diane will go to the ball with me. 130 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,042 - I'm taking Diane to the ball! - Cliff, Cliff. 131 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,212 Think just a minute, now. What's wrong with this picture? 132 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,422 Sam, change for a 20? 133 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,092 What are you talking about? 134 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,678 Oh, yeah, I forgot. 135 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,224 Well, I'll just have to have a huddle here with the man 136 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:03,019 who knows almost as much about women as I do. 137 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,606 - Sammy? - Yeah? 138 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,817 - A word, if you will. - What's up? 139 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,820 Well, I seem to have one of those situations again. 140 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,823 You know, two dollies lined up for the same evening. 141 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:18,868 Oh, well, does this have to do with Diane, Carla and that postman thing? 142 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,872 - Yeah. - Well, fair's fair. Who said yes first? 143 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,875 Carla. 144 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,419 Well, you just have to tell Diane you can't go with her. 145 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,046 Make up some excuse. 146 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,799 Tell her that your girl cousin from Michigan 147 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,760 is in town just for the day and that you gotta take her. 148 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:39,556 No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, she's already heard that one. 149 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,268 Clifford, I've been thinking. 150 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:47,480 Oh, yeah, you can't go, huh, Diane? Hey, I understand. 151 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,066 Honestly, you're so insecure. 152 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,820 I was going to say that I thought of the perfect dress to wear. 153 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:58,074 Sassy little strapless number, very graceful for dancing. 154 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,743 With my hair up and a hint of jewelry to catch the eye. 155 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:04,080 I'm going to make you very proud. 156 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,921 - Now what, Sammy? - Yeah, this is a tough one. 157 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,008 Yeah, if Carla finds out you asked Diane first, 158 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,135 you're gonna be dead before you hit the ground. 159 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,596 Hey, hold on a minute. 160 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,098 All you gotta do is, you gotta find Carla another date. 161 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,808 Someone better than you. 162 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,561 Hey, Sammy, Sammy, you are a genius. 163 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,522 Well, thank you. Oh, yeah, listen. 164 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,318 When you talk to her about the guy, be vague. Be general. 165 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:37,614 - Don't get locked into anybody specific. - All right. Vague. General. 166 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,743 Carla? 167 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,204 How'd you like to go to the Postman's Ball 168 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,915 with a guy who looks like Robert Redford and drives a Porsche? 169 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,335 Why aren't I going with you? 170 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,880 Well, see, there's this buddy of mine down at the P.O. 171 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,425 You might have seen him in here. He's been in a couple of times. 172 00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:01,679 Well, son of a gun if he didn't say he's got a big crush on you, 173 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,475 and, well, he wanted me to see if you'd go to the ball with him. Now-- 174 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,604 This isn't just some way of getting out of giving me the VCR, is it? 175 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,650 No! No, no, no. You'll get everything I promised. 176 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,029 Plus the bonus of not having to go out with you, 177 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:22,450 which leads me to believe that this guy is a bigger loser than you are. 178 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,954 Just forget it, Clavin! What kind of girl do you think I am? 179 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,206 One who would like a big-screen TV? 180 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,874 That's the kind. 181 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,675 Hello, everyone. 182 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:45,932 Good heavens. 183 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,725 - Miss Chambers, you look beautiful. - Yeah. 184 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,979 - Thank you, Woody. - Doesn't she? Boy, you know, that just... 185 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,732 that just opens up the floodgates to a lot of memories. 186 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,736 Why, thank you, Sam, but I don't remember us ever going 187 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,947 to a formal occasion while we were dating. 188 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,367 No, I was thinking about the girl I took to my high school prom. 189 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,788 Just kidding. Just kidding. 190 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,374 Miss Chambers, can I tell you something? 191 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:15,837 - Sure, Woody. - You look like a hundred bucks. 192 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,636 Thank you, Woody. 193 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,930 Oh, what am I saying? Two hundred. 194 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,642 Woody, you're turning my head. 195 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,728 Okay, a hundred. 196 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,981 Oh, look out. Here comes your boyfriend. 197 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,537 Everybody, I'd like you to meet Lucas. Lucas, the gang. 198 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:58,379 Right. He said hello. You see, Lucas is sort of used to talking to himself. 199 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,051 Lucas, you wanna step on down to the bar and have something to drink? 200 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:16,564 - Oh, Diane, you look beautiful. - Thank you. 201 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:21,361 Oh, this is for you. Just a little token of my affection. 202 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,240 Thank you, Clifford. 203 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,537 If you don't mind my asking, who is this Lucas fellow, and why is he here? 204 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,415 Oh, well, we're gonna double with him and his date... 205 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:35,833 ...Carla. 206 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:43,091 Carla? Well, I guess they're a match. 207 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,720 Although he does look like he's been around a mushroom or two. 208 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,602 Oh, Cliff. 209 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,235 Gee, this is... 210 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,612 ...big. 211 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,782 Big and beautiful. 212 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,034 Yeah, why don't you try it on. 213 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:15,498 Oh, no, no, something this big and beautiful should be preserved. 214 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,208 Oh, don't worry about that, Diane. 215 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,877 That's guaranteed to last through a 20-knot wind. 216 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:31,681 Sorry I'm late. The baby spit up on my dress. 217 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,518 I had to buy a brooch big enough to cover it. 218 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,272 Real diamond chips. Seventy-five bucks. 219 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:48,739 What is whitey doing here dressed like that? 220 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,494 Diane's the only date I could scrape up at the last minute. 221 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:57,206 Oh, yeah? What are you paying her? 222 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:03,463 - Transistor radio. - A cheap date. I knew it. 223 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,556 Carla, don't you wanna meet your date? 224 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,268 I thought he was supposed to look like Robert Redford. 225 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,938 Well, he does from a distance. 226 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,025 Yeah, Mars. 227 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:28,988 And I think you'll soon find out just why a planet came to mind. 228 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:38,498 Carla, I'd like you to meet Lucas. Lucas, your date, Carla. 229 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:45,838 What did he say? 230 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,715 I can't believe it matters. 231 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,390 Well, I can see this is gonna be a laugh a minute. 232 00:16:56,641 --> 00:17:00,853 An evening with the stick, the nerd and door number three. 233 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,482 You kids have a great time. 234 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,362 Good night. 235 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,657 Jimmy! Yo! 236 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:22,625 Well, you two seem to be getting on pretty well. 237 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:37,431 Yeah, well, I sure hate to have to admit this, Clavin, 238 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,725 but tall, dark and gruesome here... 239 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:45,064 ...turned out to be a real groove. 240 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:52,154 Not a great dancer, though. He mashed in the toes of my shoes. 241 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,906 I'll bill you for a new pair. 242 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,409 I don't believe this. You should be buying me a VCR. 243 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:03,374 Just wait a minute. You're not gonna welsh on our deal, are you? 244 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,419 Carla, come on, will you? You're making out like a bandit here. 245 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,172 At least you're getting some loving tonight. 246 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,801 Boy, I made the wrong choice between you and Diane. 247 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,514 What did you say? 248 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:24,770 I said you and Diane look really choice tonight. 249 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:31,694 I see. So where is the stick anyway? 250 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,823 She's just going to freshen up. She'll be out in a couple of minutes. 251 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:39,827 You know, I never would have thought it. You two. 252 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:45,124 - What are you talking about? - Look, I shouldn't be telling you this, 253 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,502 but when you two guys went to get some punch, 254 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,465 Diane told me that she wished you'd come on a little stronger. 255 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:59,472 In fact, she said that she wished 256 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,476 that you would do the one thing to her that no man has ever done. 257 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,810 I mean, not even Sammy. 258 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,938 - The one thing that makes her crazy. - What? What? 259 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,820 Just out of curiosity. 260 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,574 Run your fingers up and down her arm, 261 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,078 look into her eyes and sing Misty. 262 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,707 Sorry to hold you up. 263 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,718 Well, let's be on our way, Clifford. 264 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:57,405 Clifford, I want you to know that I liked your speech best. 265 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,242 Out of all 267. 266 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,620 - Really? - Absolutely. 267 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:11,544 Listen, Diane, I want to thank you for keeping up the act tonight. 268 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,295 You know, staying by my side. 269 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,340 It wasn't entirely an act, Cliff. 270 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:20,553 I think tonight was the first time I saw you with your guard down. 271 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,015 You were yourself, not some mutation of Sam Malone, 272 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:28,769 trying to impress people with tales of sexual exploits. 273 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,313 Women don't really like that, Cliff. 274 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,192 They want men to be sweet and vulnerable. 275 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:40,364 - Then how come Sammy always scores? - Because he's gorgeous. 276 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:44,160 I mean, he has low standards. 277 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,288 He'll go out with any floozy who comes down the pike. 278 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,249 Speaking of pike, how come we're not on it? 279 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,669 Well, I wanted to take the long way home. 280 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,546 Yeah... 281 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,008 ...I just had the time of my life tonight, and I... 282 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:03,345 don't want it to end. I just want to feel the night wind in my hair and... 283 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,931 share the company of you good people. 284 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,522 I think it's wonderful, Cliff. 285 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,778 Yeah, I think tonight was a real breakthrough for you. 286 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:22,948 Perhaps we've seen the end of the old insecure, arrested adolescent... 287 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,870 ...and we're seeing the emergence of the real Cliff Clavin. 288 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,793 - What? - Darn. 289 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,462 - What? What's wrong? - We ran out of gas. 290 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:43,052 Well, the gauge reads half full. 291 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:46,305 Yeah, yeah, it always reads half full. It's stuck there. 292 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,434 I guess in the excitement of the night, I just forgot to fill the tank. 293 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:58,818 Well, what are we going to do? We're miles from a gas station. 294 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:19,004 ♪ Look at me 295 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:26,053 ♪ I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree 296 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,181 ♪ And I'm clinging to a cloud 297 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,393 ♪ I can't understand 298 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,187 ♪ I get misty 299 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:40,067 ♪ Just holding your hand 300 00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,489 ♪ Walk my way 301 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,867 Get out. 302 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,120 - ♪ And a thousand vio-- ♪ - Now. 303 00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,498 Yes, ma'am. 304 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,588 Diane, look, I'm sorry. You don't understand. 305 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,631 I don't know what happened to me tonight. 306 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,634 The wine must have gone to my head, Diane. 307 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,470 Look, you know I hold you in the highest respect and esteem, 308 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,932 and I would never, ever do anything to upset you. 309 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:18,272 Well, running out of gas? Really! 310 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,734 - Well, we did run out of gas, Diane. - Clifford. 311 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:26,780 Well, look, would a sign from God convince you? 312 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:29,700 Maybe. 313 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:31,994 All right. 314 00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:35,122 Almighty God... 315 00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:41,754 ...please, if I'm telling the truth about this car running out of gas tonight, 316 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,299 let it start now, even on an empty tank. 317 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,845 Diane, hallelujah! 318 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:53,807 Oh, hallelujah! Diane! Oh, hey!