1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,630 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,510 Mrs Tortelli? 3 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,639 Oh, you must be Vito Ragonzoni. 4 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,307 That's right. 5 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,893 The young man who wants to take out my little Anne Marie. 6 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,562 - Yes, ma'am. - Soda, Sam. 7 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,065 Thanks for coming by, Vito. 8 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,860 Anne Marie told me that you wanted to take her to the movies, 9 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,239 and I just wanted to meet you, get to know you a little better, you know. 10 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,823 Okay. 11 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,244 - Here you go. - Thanks. 12 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,371 Well... 13 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,542 You certainly are a fine-looking young gentleman. 14 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,502 - No doubt about that. - Thank you, ma'am. 15 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,420 So, what movie you taking Anne Marie to see? 16 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,506 101 Dalmatians. 17 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,801 - Oh, that's a Walt Disney, isn't it? - Yes, it is. 18 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,512 Oh, one of my favorites, as I recall. 19 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,139 It is not only entertaining-- 20 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,269 Turn to the left, please. 21 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,857 --It has a nice message. Now to the right. 22 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,277 Thank you. 23 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,447 Ms Tortelli, I'm getting the feeling that you don't trust me too much. 24 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:17,786 Oh, gee, Vito, I'm sorry. I guess I'm being a little overprotective. 25 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,289 You know, it's my little baby's first date. 26 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:24,710 But now that I see you, I see you're a fine upstanding gentleman, 27 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,170 so here, tell you what. Go on, get out of here. 28 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,089 Have some popcorn on me. Have a good time. 29 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,049 Thanks, Mrs Tortelli. 30 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,472 Sam... 31 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,063 ...keep it in a safe place till the boys from the lab get here. 32 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,015 A hearty Heigh-ho, everyone. 33 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,767 Hey, Frasier. 34 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,853 - What's with the bird there? - Oh, do you like it? 35 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,855 I was doing some spring-cleaning the other day, 36 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,900 and I came across old Plato here. He was my father's pet. 37 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:15,362 Couldn't bear to part with him, not even in death, so he had him stuffed. 38 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,699 He's really got a lot of sentimental value for me. 39 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,034 He's an excellent example of taxidermy. 40 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,287 Quite valuable, I'm sure. And I'd like you to have him. 41 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,334 Frasier, I don't think so. 42 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,420 - Well, then toss it. - All right. 43 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,385 Oh, and, Diane, 44 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,179 I came across these slides of our trip to Europe. 45 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,557 I didn't want to throw them away and didn't want them. 46 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,684 I thought perhaps you'd like them. 47 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:50,230 Oh, that's very thoughtful, Frasier. I'd love to look at them. 48 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:54,025 Well, hey, I got a projector and a screen in the backroom there. 49 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,195 You said that projector was broken 50 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,407 when I wanted to show my slides of Colombian art. 51 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:04,536 Well, yes, it is broken when you wanna show your slides of Colombian art. 52 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,250 I don't see any reason why we should show these slides here. 53 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,253 Well, why not? I think those slides might benefit everyone. 54 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,964 It's a chance to see Europe's cultural and artistic highlights 55 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,300 with an informed commentary by people who've been there. 56 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,344 Anyone who wants to see slides of Diane's and my trip to Europe, 57 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,263 raise your hands. 58 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,476 You could make disgusting noises and shadow animals. 59 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,854 Fine. I'll go set it up. 60 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,399 - Say, Cliff. - Yeah? 61 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,402 Slides of the European trip, poolroom, five minutes. Be there. 62 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,488 Hey. Hey, yeah, great. Wouldn't miss it. 63 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,823 There's a major yawn. 64 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,996 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 65 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,707 - Norman. - Hey, what's happening, Norm? 66 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,626 You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, 67 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,878 and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear. 68 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,676 Yeah. 69 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,307 Vera has been phoning every 15 minutes here. 70 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,267 So, what's this for? 71 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,937 Well, I told her you'd call the second you got in. 72 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,231 - Well, you lied. - All right. 73 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,817 Norman, maybe it's an emergency. 74 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,610 No, I know why she's calling. 75 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,987 You know the account-manager job I'm up for? 76 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,156 Well, it's between me and this one other guy, 77 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,283 and today's the day they're making their decision. 78 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,285 Pins and needles time, huh? 79 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,579 Yeah. Vera's really a mess, you know. 80 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,250 Except she's always had kind of a low threshold for excitement, you know. 81 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,461 Yeah. You wouldn't believe the tizzy she went into 82 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,922 the day she cracked open a double-yolked egg. 83 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,717 I made the mistake of telling Vera that if I get the promotion, 84 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,553 we could buy a new house. You know, so... 85 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,681 It's always been a dream of hers to have house with a bathroom so big, 86 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,141 if you fall down, you won't hit your head on anything. 87 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,811 Well, now, that's smart. That's smart. 88 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,730 Because, little-known fact, 42 percent of all deaths in America 89 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,566 are caused by accidents in the home. 90 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,401 So were you. 91 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,407 Anyway, these guys, they're really giving us the full treatment. 92 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,535 - What? - Yesterday, the executive wives 93 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,037 invited Vera to a luncheon at a fancy French restaurant. 94 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,498 - Hey, hey. - Experience really changed her. 95 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,917 She now refers to the Velveeta as fromage, thank you. 96 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,589 Well, you must be getting pretty excited about this yourself. 97 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,132 - Yeah. - Not really. 98 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,719 - Come on, man. Come on. Come on. - All right, all right, I'm psyched. 99 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,929 All right. 100 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,681 Norman. 101 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:34,269 If diligence, dedication and the old-fashioned puritan work ethic 102 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,688 have anything to do with it, I'm sure... 103 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,317 Good luck, Norman. 104 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,030 Well, it's time I stopped avoiding the success 105 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,032 that's been nipping at my heels all these years. 106 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,534 - My whole life stands before me. - Right. 107 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,953 I'm poised here on the brink of destiny, guys. 108 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,247 - Yeah, yeah. - Look out, world, get off my runway. 109 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,957 Ho! Look out! 110 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,043 Hey, is everybody ready for the slide show? 111 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,837 Yeah, what the hell. I got nothing better to do. 112 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:07,260 All right, everybody. Filter on in here. There's plenty of seats for everybody. 113 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,805 Yup, come along, now. Come along. 114 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,643 Now, if everybody's passports are in order, 115 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,188 we begin our sojourn in merry old England. 116 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,068 Yes. Here's Diane at the Tower of London. 117 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,694 Where's the tower? 118 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,739 It's right there. She's standing in front of it. 119 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,992 Yeah. 120 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,079 And here she is at the changing of the guard. 121 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,749 - Where are the guards? - Well, if you look very closely, 122 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,543 you can see them in the reflection of her sunglasses. 123 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:46,174 Which hide her eyes. Which hide her emotions. 124 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,639 And here she is in front of Big Ben. 125 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,432 That wall looks just like the other wall. 126 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:59,729 But imagine that at the top of this wall there's a clock. 127 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,984 Do you actually ever take pictures of things where you could 128 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,361 see the things themselves? 129 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,572 - Well, I'm sure I must have. - Well... 130 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,123 Scenery at last. 131 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,960 Now, this is Diane boating on the Seine. 132 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,628 - Oh, yeah. - You know, 133 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,715 I think that was my last carefree day on the Continent. 134 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:28,842 But I digress. 135 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:34,514 Yeah. Here she is pretending to enjoy herself in front of Notre Dame. 136 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,351 I was enjoying myself. 137 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,146 Of course you were. I didn't mean to imply anything else. 138 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,649 And on to sunny Italy. 139 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,943 Boy, she doesn't look happy there, does she? 140 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,571 - No. - How could she? 141 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,282 She was much too preoccupied with thoughts of desertion. 142 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,327 - Frasier. - I'm sorry. ignore that. 143 00:08:56,953 --> 00:09:00,081 Ah, yes, beautiful Florence. 144 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,710 She looks just like Miss Chambers. 145 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,506 It is Diane, Woody. 146 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,092 I think this is the night I proposed to her. 147 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,220 Yes. You see, she's laughing at me. 148 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,184 I am not laughing at you. I'm smiling for the camera. 149 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,937 Of course you were. You're about to rip out my heart. 150 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:28,860 Yes. Yes, here she is plotting her betrayal in front of the Ponte Vecchio. 151 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,820 How appropriate, in the country of Lucrezia Borgia. 152 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,199 - Frasier, you're incorrigible. - Oh, Diane, wait. 153 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,159 No, wait. Hey, let her-- 154 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,746 Well, that was a thrill a minute, huh, Norm? 155 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,624 I'd say your Florida slides were better than that, Cliff ie. 156 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,085 Oh, I got them in the trunk of my car. 157 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,088 It's a good place for them. 158 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:54,844 I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I thought I was getting better. 159 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,680 Frasier, sit down. 160 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,974 You keep saying you're getting better, 161 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,560 but I haven't seen any evidence of it. 162 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:07,190 Now, hard as it may be, you've got to stop being preoccupied with me. 163 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,859 - Get a hold of yourself. - Enough said. 164 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,153 You don't have to hit Frasier Crane over the head. 165 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:17,075 Unless, of course, you'd like to. Where is your sense of humor? 166 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,828 Frasier, here. 167 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,707 Listen, been a long time since I went out and raised a little hell. 168 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,669 What do you say you and I go out and get crazy? 169 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:31,214 You know, a couple of guys giving the women of Boston their best shot? 170 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,551 - Well, this is a pity offer, isn't it? - Basically. 171 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,885 Okay. 172 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,639 Might be just what the doctor ordered. Rattle my cage a little. 173 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,892 All right, that's the ticket. Listen, I got a few things to do for a while, 174 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,562 so why don't you just sit down here and be a good little boy, 175 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,648 and Sammy Claus will take you out later and get your tree trimmed. 176 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,030 - Hey, Norm. - Jeff. What are you doing here? 177 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,575 I just wanna have a beer with the new accounts manager. 178 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,869 - Did I get the job? - I haven't heard anything definite, 179 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,330 but if I had an extra dollar to wager, I'd bet it on Norm Peterson. 180 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,749 Since I don't, could you buy me a beer? 181 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,669 All right. Woody, two beers. 182 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,379 - Come on. Have a seat. - Great, great. 183 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,590 I just wanted to come down and wish you good luck. 184 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,925 There's a lot of scuttlebutt around the water cooler 185 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,969 that you and Morrison are neck and neck. 186 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,014 But there's a lot of us down in the trenches who are pulling for you. 187 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,850 Thanks. That means a lot coming from your peers. 188 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,144 I just hope when you're up in the executive suite 189 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,605 and I'm down in steerage we can still be friends. 190 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,191 Of course. Were we before? 191 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,320 "Were we before?" Oh, God, that's great. 192 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,906 Oh, I tell you, it's gonna be so great 193 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,742 to have somebody up there with a sense of humor. That's terrific. 194 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:44,287 And by the way, that was a brilliant job you did on the Stallings audit. 195 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:47,415 I mean, who else would've figured out how to write off Mrs Stallings' 196 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:51,085 - breast reduction as a depreciation? - Yeah. 197 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:56,591 You know, I hear that Stallings will be eligible for parole in our lifetime. 198 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,969 Does anyone have more fun than bookkeepers? 199 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,099 Oh, face it, Norm, you deserve to win. 200 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,477 You're more experienced, you're a nicer guy, 201 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,896 and you got some professional ethics, unlike Morrison. 202 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,564 What are you talking about? 203 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:12,941 Are you kidding? 204 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,443 You don't know about Morrison and the boss's wife? 205 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,615 They've been making it every Tuesday night for the past five months. 206 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,453 - Jeffrey, I can't believe that. - No, I'm serious. 207 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,122 Once a week? 208 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,293 Well, I guess if you're young, you can handle that kind of schedule. 209 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,880 I better shove off. 210 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,341 - Mrs Reinhardt? - Mrs Reinhardt. 211 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,385 - Hey, Norm? - Yeah. 212 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,221 Would you promise me one thing? When you get the promotion 213 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,557 and it's time to hire an assistant, you'll remember my name? 214 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,936 - Sure. Yeah. What's that last name? - You big lug, you. 215 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,273 That's Warren, with two R's. W-A-R-R-E-N. 216 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,446 Well... Woody, a little champagne, please. 217 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:04,951 Sammy, some cigars for all my friends. On the new accounts manager. 218 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,328 No kidding, Norm? You got the job? 219 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:12,417 No, not yet, but just learned a little bit of information about my competition 220 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:16,004 that ought to clinch it when I accidentally let it slip. 221 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,006 All right, Norm. 222 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,717 - Hey, Norm? - Yeah. 223 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:25,263 Norm, I might have spoken out of turn about Morrison and Mrs Reinhardt. 224 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,349 You wouldn't let it go any further, would you? 225 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,059 Jeffrey, I'm insulted, man. 226 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,489 So as I was about to say, Jeff here lets it slip 227 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,326 that my competition's making the sheets sing with the boss's wife. 228 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,995 Oh, yeah, that's pretty hot information there, isn't it? 229 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,496 You're gonna rat on him? 230 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,958 No, I'm gonna sing "Moon River" outside their motel room. 231 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:59,422 I know you want this job pretty bad. You think that's the way to go about it? 232 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:02,342 I have to agree, Norman. This just isn't you talking. 233 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,678 You're not the ruthless, cutthroat, aggressive type. 234 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,514 I don't know where you guys got the idea that I'm just some 235 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,767 passive, easygoing lump. 236 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,981 Norm, if your buns didn't fall asleep, you'd never get off the bar stool. 237 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,197 They're wide awake now, guys, and I want this promotion. 238 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,158 I want it for Vera. She deserves it. 239 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:32,372 Norman, think for a moment what you're about to do. 240 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,123 This could even backfire on you. 241 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,542 You don't even know if this terrible rumor is true. 242 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,380 Well, I have a pretty good idea it might be. 243 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,590 Mrs Reinhardt came on to me at the Christmas party. 244 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,592 What did she say? 245 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,011 "Move it. You're standing in front of the cheese dip." 246 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,432 But she said it with bedroom eyes. 247 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,434 I'm telling you, this is a mistake. 248 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,523 You guys all think that this is a bad idea for me to use this information? 249 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,400 Of course we do. 250 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,527 Not everybody. 251 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,405 You know, Norm, this Morrison is an adulterer 252 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,740 and shouldn't be allowed to prosper by it. 253 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,537 Now, if we let this type of un-American activity go unchecked, 254 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,747 before you know it, our leaders will be in chains, 255 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,083 our women will be learning how to shot put, 256 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,962 and all we vital American males will be force-fed borscht 257 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,631 along with generous helpings of Das Kapital. 258 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:28,010 That's not those fish eggs, is it? 259 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,763 No, but it smells as bad. 260 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,767 Well, then you tell them Woody Boyd says nyet. 261 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,728 Attaboy, Woody. 262 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:42,733 Norman, a snitch is the lowest thing on this earth. 263 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,487 You know it. Little kids know it. Old ladies know it. 264 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:50,741 Dirty, rotten-toothed prisoners in dark, wet cells know it. 265 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:55,872 Norman, if you tell on this guy, and your friends find out about it, 266 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,833 - they are gonna hate your guts. - How are they gonna know? 267 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,544 I'll squeal like a stuck pig. 268 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,797 Norm, come on. You can't do this. 269 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,175 All right. You're right, you're right. 270 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,469 Guys don't tell on other guys. 271 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,304 It's just not right. I can't do it. 272 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,681 Hey, Frasier, I'm ready if you are. 273 00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,100 Oh, wonderful. Let's begin our evening of revelry. 274 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,353 All right. Now, listen. I wanna get one thing straight. 275 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,315 Tonight, I don't wanna hear one word about Diane Chambers. Okay? 276 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,485 We're gonna get out there and get your mind on more pleasant things. 277 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,069 Agreed. Where are we going? 278 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,866 Well, I think the first thing we need is some female companionship. 279 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,494 I know a couple of the hot spots, 280 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,997 so why don't we just mosey along here. 281 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,919 Let me tell you how this evening's gonna go here. 282 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,339 Now, we're gonna probably walk into some really nice little spot there. 283 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,050 You're gonna see a beautiful woman across the room. 284 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,927 I mean hot, sexy. 285 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,678 A woman you dream about. 286 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,847 All right, now, her friend is for you. 287 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,226 Got it? 288 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,984 Good Lord. That's my boss, Mr Reinhardt. 289 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,986 That's the poor sap, huh? 290 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:12,281 Cliff ie, quick, breath test. What do you smell when I do this? 291 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,866 Milwaukee. 292 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,833 Mr Reinhardt. Hi, sir, how are you do--? 293 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,212 Coincidence that you caught me in here. I was just using the washroom. 294 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,256 - What do you say we...? - At ease, Peterson. 295 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:32,677 We know you spend a lot of time here. This is where we send your checks. 296 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,221 That's very good. That's good, sir. That's good. 297 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,809 Well, have a seat. So to what do I owe this pleasure? 298 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,895 Well, I wanted to come and tell you in person. 299 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,314 It's not the easiest thing I've ever had to say, 300 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,941 but you didn't get the job. 301 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,407 I appreciate your coming here to tell me that, sir. 302 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,327 It was a tossup between you and Morrison right up to the end. 303 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:03,749 I have to tell you, in virtually every way, you match up perfectly. 304 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,838 You both exemplify the high standards we expect from our employees. 305 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,591 In fact, we can't find a black mark against either one of you. 306 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:18,556 Your behavior and Morrison's, in and out of the office, is impeccable. 307 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,518 If there were-- if there were just one thing, 308 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:26,063 one tiny thing to tip the scale in your favor, 309 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,357 I'd go to bat for you. 310 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:39,035 Sir, I think I ought to tell you something. 311 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:46,917 This is terribly personal, and it could really be painful for you. 312 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:50,463 Probably gonna change your life in every way, but... 313 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:54,675 ...before I get into it, 314 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,012 would you like a cheese doodle? 315 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:02,600 I have a craving for... Could I have some cheese doodles, please? 316 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,479 - No, Norman. - Yeah, yes, Norm. Yes, yes. 317 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:11,067 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Yes, yes, do it, do it. Yes, yes, yes. 318 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,529 Who are those people, Peterson, 319 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,907 and why doesn't one of them want you to have a cheese doodle? 320 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:30,961 She's actually-- She's trying to help me watch my dairy intake, sir. 321 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,924 Well, what was the terribly personal thing you were gonna tell me 322 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,010 - that's gonna change my life? - Oh, that. 323 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:43,849 It was-- That was nothing. You had something in between your teeth. 324 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:48,270 Do you have a--? No, no, no. It's-- I guess, you know, it's gone now. 325 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,606 That combination of syllables in your last sentence 326 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,275 - must have just kicked it right out, sir. - I see. 327 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,321 - Well, I'd best be going. - Sir. 328 00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,365 There's something you're not telling me here. 329 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,283 I mean, why didn't I get this job? 330 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,619 Oh, I suppose I owe you the truth, Peterson. 331 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:04,870 Well, yeah, you do. 332 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,706 It's your wife. 333 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,834 What does my wife have to do with this? 334 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,295 Well, she didn't fit in with the other company wives. 335 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,883 That's-- Vera's a wonderful woman. What are you talking--? 336 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,344 Well, yes, I'm sure in her own circle she is, 337 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:25,933 but that lunch the other wives took her to yesterday was sort of a test. 338 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,729 A spouse has to be able to mix easily with other people in the company. 339 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,898 That's just great. Well, that's great. Sir, tell you what. 340 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,818 If my wife isn't good enough for this company, neither am I. 341 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:39,447 Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way, Peterson. But I understand. 342 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,241 And I admire you for your loyalty to her. 343 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,870 Now, wait a minute. Morrison's wife is somehow more acceptable than mine? 344 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,830 No. As a matter of fact, Morrison's never had a wife. 345 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:51,333 Oh, yeah, well, I wouldn't be too sure about that one, sir. 346 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:56,422 - Good luck. - All right, fine. 347 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,800 I'm so sorry, Norman. 348 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,346 Thanks. That was the easy part. 349 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,349 Now I have to break the news to Vera. 350 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,770 What are you gonna tell her? 351 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,064 The truth, I guess. 352 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,276 When she went to lunch with the other wives, she didn't pass muster. 353 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,613 Well, maybe she couldn't reach it. 354 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,420 Hi, Vera. 355 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,882 Listen, honey, no point beating around the bush here. 356 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,884 I didn't get the promotion. 357 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:46,555 In fact, I just got so mad at the guy, I just went ahead and quit. 358 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,519 Yeah. Yes. Yes, they did, they gave me a reason, hon. 359 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,104 They said... 360 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,232 ...that... 361 00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:02,279 ...well, what they said was, I'm just not the right man for the job, you know. 362 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,491 You just face it, honey, I'm a loser. 363 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,078 I don't know why you just don't go just pack up your bags and leave me. 364 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,164 Hello? 365 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,587 That's very funny. That's cute. 366 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:23,717 Listen, sweetie. There's something I have to tell you. 367 00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:26,387 Even on a terrible day like today, 368 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,640 I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world, because I married you. 369 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,893 I don't know. I've had two, three, maybe. 370 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,567 I'll talk to you later. Yeah. 371 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:44,989 - Norman? - Yeah. 372 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,535 That's one of the finest things I have ever seen a man do. 373 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,287 Yes. 374 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,957 How great, I'm unemployed. 375 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:58,002 Don't worry, Mr Peterson. Something else will come along. 376 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:01,213 No, no, I mean, great, I'm unemployed. Give me a beer here.