1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,922 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,009 It was your fault we lost that contest. 3 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,470 - It was not my fault. - We'll find out whose fault it was. 4 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:14,264 - 'Heart of My Heart" from the top. - All right, sing it. 5 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,935 Heart of my heart 6 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,396 - I love that melody - Love that melody 7 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,650 Heart of my heart Brings back... 8 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,277 Right there! That's the note that cost us the championship. 9 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,906 Oh, yeah? Well, that remark just cost you a bass! 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,741 Hey, wait a minute, Jim. 11 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,661 Now we gotta find ourselves another bass. 12 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:36,787 Three beers. 13 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,667 You know, I love barbershop quartets. You mind if I make a little request? 14 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,918 Not at all. 15 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,837 Could you give me a little trim around the ears later? 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,717 Excuse me, fellas. 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,053 I couldn't help overhearing what happened. 18 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,348 It's always been a lifelong dream of mine to sing in a barbershop quartet. 19 00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,058 I wonder if you might give me a try? 20 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,812 Why not? "Good Night, Ladies" okay? 21 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,772 Yeah "Good Night, Ladies." All right. All right. 22 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:15,158 Good night, ladies Good night, ladies 23 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:20,330 Good night, ladies We're going to leave you now 24 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:30,299 - That was fantastic! - Hey, we got ourselves a new bass! 25 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,842 Yeah, well, no. 26 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,595 You know, I'm really flattered, fellas, but I don't think so. 27 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,681 You said it was your lifelong dream to sing in a barbershop quartet. 28 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,851 Well, it was and now I've done it. Thanks for the memories. 29 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,637 The farmer in the dell The farmer in the dell 30 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,139 Hey, everybody, howdy-doody. 31 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,351 - Guess what I got in the bag. - What's left of your mind? 32 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,729 Ladies and gentlemen, 33 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,607 I'd like to introduce a turnip that needs no introduction... 34 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,362 ...Miss June Lockhart. 35 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,780 Hey, look here. 36 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:21,702 You put a little makeup on her. Shampoo and set her root hairs. 37 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,330 Finish her off with a delicate strand of pearls... 38 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,878 Is it me or is this getting a little weird? 39 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,841 You passed weird six months ago. 40 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,719 Now you're boldly going where no man has gone before. 41 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:45,517 Boy, I guess it's true what they say, huh? 42 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,855 It's a fine line between gardening and madness. 43 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,899 Cliff, old man... 44 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,446 ...maybe a little vacation would do you some good. 45 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:00,574 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to my office. 46 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,493 Hey, doc? Doc, listen, you mind if I tag along with you? 47 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,288 Just for the stroll, you know, a little informal chat on the way? 48 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,039 You bet, Cliff. I'd enjoy the company. 49 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,459 Well, yeah, good. Listen, I'm a very private man. 50 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,918 I've gotta warn you at the outset. 51 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,712 I just don't bare my soul at the drop of a hat. 52 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,464 Oh, I understand. 53 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,133 Yeah, I was breast-fed a lot longer than most youngsters. 54 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,136 I mean, babies. 55 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,432 Hey, everybody. 56 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,059 Oh, hey, Sam. I thought you weren't coming in till 5. 57 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:31,480 Oh, well, I had to pick up some stuff. We're gonna play some racquetball. 58 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,565 Oh, Bonnie, Woody. Woody, Bonnie. 59 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,234 - Hi. - Hi. Are you all right? 60 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,194 So where you guys been? 61 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,279 Oh, we spent the afternoon at Bonnie's apartment 62 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,658 listening to the latest album of John Cougar Mellen...something. 63 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:47,329 - Mellencamp. Yeah, he's great. - Yeah, you're telling me. 64 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,247 So, what rock groups you like, Bonnie? 65 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,210 Let's see. I like the Thompson Twins, Tears for Fears, U2. 66 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,045 - Oh, I love U2. - Yeah. 67 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,838 Yeah, we look great together, don't we? 68 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,758 Hey, I'll be right back. I'm gonna get my equipment. 69 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,177 - Pretty girl, Sam. - Yeah. Thank you. 70 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,514 Be careful she doesn't lose a baby tooth giving you a hickey. 71 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,566 What's that crack supposed to mean? She young or something? 72 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:21,571 Well, you must admit, there's a bit of a gap between your ages. 73 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,866 Oh, yeah? She's a very sophisticated woman, 74 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,161 and she has travelled extensively. She's been to Hawaii. 75 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,001 - Boy, I envy Sammy, his carefree lifestyle. - Yeah. 76 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,837 Night after night, he dates pretty girls, 77 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,881 while I sit here and wrestle with the world's problems. 78 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,383 You do not. 79 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,134 What do you mean? Last night, I let out that moan 80 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,095 at the thought of nuclear war. 81 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,138 It wasn't because of nuclear war. 82 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,683 It was because we ran out of beer nuts. 83 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,185 It was a combination of the two. 84 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,230 - Y'all set? - Oh, yeah. 85 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:58,608 You know, Sam, Woody's a really rad guy. 86 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,945 Well, you know my motto, "Hire the rad." 87 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:06,324 Wait a second, here, let me get some money. I'll be right back. 88 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,534 Hey, have a good game. 89 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,286 Thanks, Woody. I'll see you Saturday? 90 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,705 Saturday? What's happening Saturday? 91 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,083 Oh, Saturday, Woody and I, we're gonna play racquetball. 92 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,502 I didn't know you played racquetball. 93 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,962 Yeah, I play a little. 94 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,381 Why didn't you tell me? 95 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,968 Well, I didn't think the two of us should play. 96 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,138 Why not? Oh, come on, man, 97 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,931 just because I'm a professional athlete? 98 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,185 No, it wasn't that. It was more because you're a little... 99 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,104 I mean, you're a few years... 100 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,650 Yeah, it's because you're a professional athlete. 101 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,074 No, it wasn't. It's because you think I was old, maybe. 102 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,953 Oh, no, no, not old, Sam. Just older. 103 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,458 You wanna take me on, you little guy, you? 104 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,086 Sure, I'd like that. 105 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,213 All right. Carla, you wanna tend the bar here? 106 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,548 Got it. 107 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:07,177 Sam, has it occurred to you that you challenged Woody 108 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:11,598 to a contest because he threatened your relationship with Bonnie? 109 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:15,602 No. But has this occurred to you: Leave me alone. 110 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,606 You all set, man? 111 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,441 - Sure am. - Great. 112 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,442 Great. 113 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,495 Oh, hey, is that somebody famous up...? 114 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,461 I guess not. I'm sorry. My mistake. 115 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,421 Okay, we're off here, huh? 116 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,928 You're not too tired to work behind the bar now, are you, Woody? 117 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,305 - I can take over if you are. - No, I'm fine. 118 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,104 Sam, are you limping? 119 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,897 Well, I don't know. Let me take a look here. 120 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,525 Oh, by golly, look at that. It must be these new shoes. 121 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,568 - Who won? - Sam did. 122 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,778 Yeah. 123 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,072 You should have seen him out there. He was great! 124 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,449 You know, I especially liked that last shot you made 125 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,369 diving across the court. And that little scream you let out? 126 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,040 That's my victory scream. I always do that when I win. 127 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,086 - Are you all right? - Yeah, why? 128 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,840 Your upper lip is sweating profusely. 129 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,718 I just played racquetball. People sweat when they do that. 130 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,636 On their lips? 131 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,596 Didn't you take a shower afterwards? 132 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,850 Of course I did. Maybe I just forgot to dry my lip. 133 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,233 Does Sam's behavior give you pause? 134 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,486 Methinks the man does protest too much. 135 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,450 Excuse me, Miss Chambers, but shouldn't it be "I thinks"? 136 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,165 Not in your case, Woody. 137 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,336 What's with the skis, Sam? 138 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,214 Oh, all this physical activity's put me in a physical mood. 139 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,133 I feel like doing something else physical. 140 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,343 I think I'm gonna go skiing for a while. 141 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,638 If you need help behind the bar, Woody, call Bob. 142 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,392 Sam, this is all rather sudden. Where are you going? 143 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,977 How long will you be gone? 144 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:25,023 Sugarloaf, Maine. if the snow's cold and the women hot, 145 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,859 I'll be gone forever. See you guys. Bye-bye. 146 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,278 What a guy! 147 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,364 We just get through playing a hard game of racquetball 148 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,866 and he's still raring to go. 149 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,118 You just never know what he's gonna do next. 150 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,871 Like now, for example. 151 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,220 Are you absolutely sure? 152 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,847 Thank you. 153 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,185 Oh, dear me, my worst fears are confirmed. 154 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,813 There's been a peroxide embargo? 155 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,235 This is no time for levity. I just called every hotel in Sugarloaf, 156 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,570 and there's no Sam Malone registered anywhere. 157 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,115 Maybe he's staying under an assumed name. 158 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,868 No, I checked all the assumed names he usually uses. 159 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,287 There's no Lance Manion. 160 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,415 Nor is there a Honeyboy Wilson. 161 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,794 Hi, everybody. 162 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:31,589 Hey, doc, I really gotta hand it to you for that job you did on Cliff ie. 163 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:35,260 He's really been in good spirits lately and rarely discusses vegetables. 164 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,596 Yeah, it seems our little impromptu session's been quite beneficial. 165 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,473 You know, for my part, I hope to get an article published 166 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,977 in either Psychology Today or the Burpee Seed Catalogue. 167 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:51,151 No, seriously, it's always very gratifying to help another human being. 168 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,154 Hey, Sigmund Fraud. 169 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,616 Are you addressing me, Cliff? 170 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:03,371 This bill is outrageous, 750 bucks here for a friendly chat. 171 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,624 I've had several of Ma's organs taken out for less than that. 172 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,752 It was not a little chat. 173 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,589 It was seven hours of intensive psychotherapy, 174 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,717 which I flatter myself to say has done you a world of good. 175 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,343 Oh, yeah? You think so? 176 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,763 Yeah, well, I don't think so. And neither does Meryl Streep! 177 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,148 - Are you ladies ready for a check? - Yes, thank you. 178 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,984 Anyway, I've been at Boston Mercy for five years, 179 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:36,696 and I have never had a more relentless patient than I had today. 180 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:40,366 Even when he was in constant pain, he never stopped coming on to me. 181 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,160 My God, it's Sam! 182 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,996 Are you all right? 183 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:49,584 The patient you're talking about. Is it by any chance Sam Malone? 184 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,545 - No. - Thank God. 185 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,839 His name is Lance Manion. 186 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,438 Oh, yeah, thank you. 187 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,650 Certainly. ls there anything else I can get? 188 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,526 Yeah. Naked. 189 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,864 Actually, I don't think I could handle it today. 190 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,118 Boy, these hernias always hurt so bad? 191 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,037 Oh, just for a few days. 192 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,873 Well, if you need anything else, just ring. 193 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,210 Thank you. Oh, God... 194 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,089 Sam? 195 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:41,552 Hey, boy, what a coincidence! Just donated a pint of blood. 196 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,721 The volunteer will be back. 197 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,392 Just have a seat here and... Hey, bless your heart for giving, really... 198 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,602 I know why you're here. 199 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,690 As luck would have it, a couple of nurses stopped by the bar. 200 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,733 They had your fingerprints all over them. 201 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,281 I see. 202 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,326 In that case, you don't mind if I sit down, do you? 203 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,328 From this angle, it's preferable. 204 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:13,376 Sam, I know what this is all about. 205 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:17,005 Dating young girls. Nearly killing yourself to beat Woody. 206 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,756 Not telling us you were in the hospital. 207 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,676 No, I didn't tell you I was in the hospital because... 208 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,054 ...I got a hernia, and it's an old man's problem, 209 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,016 and I didn't want the guys to make fun of me. That's all. 210 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,684 First of all... 211 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,021 ...people of all ages get hernias. 212 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,814 Second of all... 213 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,109 ...getting older is the most natural thing in the world. 214 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,029 There's nothing to fear. Accept it. 215 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,072 I will not accept it! 216 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:47,493 Listen, the day you start accepting getting old is the day you get old. 217 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,038 - All right, Sam. Have it your way. - Yeah. 218 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,707 But I think you'd be much happier and content 219 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,168 if instead of fighting the advancing years, 220 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,211 you embrace them joyfully. 221 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,212 No. 222 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,090 Hi, how you doing today? 223 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,385 - Great, as a matter of fact. Thank you. - Well, I'm glad to hear that. 224 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,221 - Diane? - Oh, yeah. 225 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,556 Diane Chambers? 226 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:09,891 Yes, that's right. 227 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,727 Don't you remember me? Steve McDunna. 228 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,188 You tutored me for a while when I was in junior high. 229 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,735 Stevie McDunna? Little Stevie? 230 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:25,406 Little Dr. Steve... Big little Dr. Stevie? 231 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:29,243 Yes, yeah. It's very nice to see you again. 232 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,788 I'm sorry, I have to run. I'll check in with you later. 233 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,122 Yeah, bye-bye. 234 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,798 I'm old and alone in Boston. 235 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,935 Sammy's back! 236 00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,358 Sam, what are you doing back here? 237 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,903 You should be in for at least another week. Dr. Stevie said so. 238 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,030 I got me a second opinion. My own. 239 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,740 I'm as healthy as an ox. 240 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,494 Hey, good to have you back, Sammy, my man! 241 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,580 - Can't keep a good man down, huh? - Yeah, no, it's good to be back. 242 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,707 Now don't encourage him. He's rushing things. 243 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,127 - Good to have you back, Sammy. - Yeah, thank you very much. 244 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,795 Carla, could you cover the bar a second? 245 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,172 I'm just gonna grab a case of Bass Ale. 246 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,217 Oh, hey, hold on there, young fella. I'll get that. I'll get that. 247 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,719 Don't be stupid, Sammy. You just had an operation. 248 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:32,723 Hey, the day that I can't pick up a case of beer is the day that I sell this place. 249 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,101 Sam, what are you trying to prove? 250 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:39,063 I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just trying to run a bar here. 251 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,401 Not too shabby, huh? 252 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,778 - Nice going, Sammy. - Yeah. 253 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,199 Sam? 254 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,287 Do you wanna go back to the hospital? 255 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414 Very badly. 256 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,083 No, I can do it. I can do it. 257 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,218 Welcome back, Valentino. 258 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,472 Hey, that's the first time 259 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,057 you didn't accidentally check the starch in my whites. 260 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:19,270 Oh, yeah, about that, I'm sorry if I got fresh. 261 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,813 Don't apologize. 262 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,941 We nurses didn't cut the ties off the back of your gown for nothing. 263 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,277 Company's coming! 264 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,579 I'm sorry, Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this. 265 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,748 I know you didn't. That's all right. It's okay. 266 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,292 He's been like this ever since you left, Sam. 267 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,379 Sam, I... I've come to donate an organ or something. 268 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,425 Woody, Woody, I have a hernia. 269 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,011 Well, if you need another one, take mine. 270 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,890 Well, thank you. Thank you, man. 271 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,726 Hey, thanks for coming down. I really appreciate that. 272 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,521 You... You're depressing the hell out of me. 273 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,731 It may be better if you took off. Yeah? 274 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,274 You got it, Sam. 275 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,902 - I'll see you. - All right. Bye-bye. 276 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,614 Here you go, Sam. 277 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,118 I want you to have that. It's kind of a family heirloom. 278 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,080 - What is it? - A truss. 279 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,918 It came over with my grandfather from the old country. 280 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,379 Actually, it came over on my grandfather. 281 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:31,926 Oh, well, yeah, gee, that's nice. Thank you. 282 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:35,012 It's a joke! You don't need this thing. 283 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,391 You're Sammy. Sammy don't wear no truss. Geez! 284 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,309 Oh, that's funny. That's very funny. 285 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,562 Yeah, well, don't pop your stitches laughing. 286 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:43,688 I'm sorry. 287 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:47,525 It's just this stupid hernia thing's getting me feeling my age. 288 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,446 What are you talking about? Would you stop that? 289 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,532 Sam Malone never ages. 290 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,450 It's one of life's great truths. 291 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,327 Let me tell you something, Sammy. 292 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,081 When you're 87, you'll still be a hunk to me. 293 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,251 Of course, I'll be senile and blind. 294 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,631 - And pregnant. - Yeah, probably. 295 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,427 - I'll look you up. - You better. 296 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:20,099 Fun's over. See you around, Sam. 297 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,267 Thank you, Carla. 298 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,060 Bye, Carla. 299 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,939 You see? There are other parts to a hospital besides the maternity ward. 300 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,149 Bite it. 301 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:32,153 Hi, Sam. How are you? 302 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,906 I don't even know why you bother asking. You know how I am. I'm old. 303 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,909 - Sam, please. - No, no, no, you were right. 304 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,331 Yeah, I tried denying it, but it's no use. 305 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:48,502 All I got to look forward to is slowing down, wearing out, 306 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,379 and breaking the occasional hip. 307 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,757 Oh, Sam! 308 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,261 Oh, I can't stand to hear you talk like that. You were right. 309 00:18:57,428 --> 00:19:01,390 I was wrong. You can't just lie back and accept getting old. 310 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,310 You have to live each day to the fullest. 311 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,815 I don't know. It's... 312 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195 No, really, I mean it. 313 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:19,241 Besides, you men get better looking the older that you get. 314 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,576 Look at this guy. 315 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,662 Huh? 316 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:27,583 Strong. Vital. Sexy. 317 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,710 Isn't he something? 318 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,925 You really think I'm better looking now? 319 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:40,346 You're a much more attractive man than when I first met you. Much more. 320 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,558 And there's no telling what you may yet achieve. 321 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,936 I went to the library today, 322 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,607 and I found a book that contains a list of people 323 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:55,903 who made contributions well into their latter years. 324 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,655 Listen to this, 325 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:03,035 Leo Tolstoy, Albert Schweitzer, 326 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:08,290 Grandma Moses, Bertrand Russell, Picasso, Goethe... 327 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:13,170 - Oh, now, he's my favorite. - Yeah, mine too. Mine too. He... 328 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,636 What are you doing? 329 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,389 Well, I just thought I'd make the room look a little more romantic. 330 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,932 You keep reading. You go right ahead. 331 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,894 Oh, Sam, this is wonderful. 332 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,065 An old person wouldn't be doing this. 333 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:38,654 This is the act of a vital, strong, young man. 334 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,239 Who wants a woman. 335 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:44,243 Who wants sex. Who won't get it. 336 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,168 But this is a very positive sign. 337 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,838 Ah, hey, come on, you know. This is a chance of a lifetime 338 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:59,175 to play doctor in a real hospital. 339 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,678 - Now come on. - It's tempting, it's tempting, but I think not. 340 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:06,098 I'm going to go now and let you rest. 341 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,726 Yeah. Hey, listen. 342 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,772 I don't want you to make too big a deal out of this, 343 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,857 but thank you very much for coming. 344 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,817 Your visit helped a lot today. 345 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:24,533 Well, if we can't reach out in our moment of need, if we can't 346 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,412 span the gap that separates each human. if we can't allow... 347 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,290 Sweetheart, sweetheart, that's what I meant by making too big a deal. 348 00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:37,463 - Okay. Goodbye, Sam. - Bye-bye. 349 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,678 Hi. 350 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,932 - Howdy. - Hi. 351 00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,226 Thanks, I can handle it. 352 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:54,146 - I'm Jack Turner, your new roomie. - Sam Malone. How you doing? 353 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,773 Great. 354 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,527 Hey, Sam Malone. You're the baseball player, aren't you? 355 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,070 Yeah, yeah, that's me. 356 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,072 Yeah, so what are you in for? 357 00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:05,783 Hernia. 358 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,701 - No kidding? - Yeah. 359 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,995 Yeah, I had one of those a couple of years ago. 360 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:14,875 - Didn't slow me down a bit. - Yeah? Is that right? Really? 361 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,461 Well, you and I are about the same age, aren't we? 362 00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:19,213 Yeah, sure. 363 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,424 Well, what are you back here for? 364 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,969 Bone spur. 365 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,263 Yeah. Sam Malone. 366 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,683 I remember seeing you out at Fenway. 367 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,353 Yeah. Well, it looks like you've taken pretty good care of yourself. 368 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,190 Yeah, I work at it. You're not looking too shabby there yourself. 369 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,026 I can do more pushups now than when I was 20. 370 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,320 Hey, me too, you know. Me too. Really. 371 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:46,448 As a matter of fact, I haven't felt better in my entire life. 372 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,827 You know, they say a man reaches his sexual peak at 18. 373 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,913 Bet some 18-year-old said that, huh? 374 00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:58,878 Yeah, the nurses cut the ties on my gown here. 375 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,922 - Get out of here! - No, I'm not kidding! 376 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,717 - Hey, here's my gal now. - Oh, well. 377 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,260 Hey, Judy. 378 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:10,639 Judy, I want you to meet Sam Malone. Isn't she something, Sam? 379 00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:12,725 Sure is. Listen, if you ever wanna dump him, 380 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,477 you can make a house call on Sammy here anytime you want. 381 00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:19,356 Hey, Sam, this is my daughter you're talking to. 382 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:24,278 Your daughter, really? Oh, God, I'm sorry. 383 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,323 It's all right. Come on, honey, let's take a look around, huh? 384 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,616 Nice to meet you, sir.