1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,838 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,840 I'm sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:11,553 Oh, hey, I bet you can't guess who I met at Janet's house last night. 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,430 - Sam, please. - What? 5 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,265 This is really getting out of hand. 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,435 In the month that you've been dating the lovely Councilor Eldridge 7 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,896 you've done nothing but drop names. 8 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,315 You'd think you'd never seen a celebrity before. 9 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,776 So spare me your stargazing. 10 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,322 Hey, hey, Gary Hart. 11 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,824 - Gary Hart, there he is. - Oh, hey, senator. 12 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,536 Hi, Sam, you left your coat in my car last night. 13 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,329 That's sweet of you to bring it by. Thank you. 14 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,957 Least I could do for a Trivial Pursuit partner. 15 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,209 By the way, thanks for your help with those sports questions. 16 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,294 Well, that's my strong point. 17 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,380 Thank you for helping me with everything else. 18 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,507 - That's my strong point. - Yeah. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,176 Gary. 20 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,013 What say you park her down here, and I'll buy you a brewski, eh? 21 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,807 Thanks. I think I'll take a rain check. 22 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,559 Oh, well, in that case you can buy me one. 23 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,645 Just kidding, you know. Sort of. 24 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,690 - Sam, I better run. Thanks. - Yeah. 25 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,484 - Good to see you again. - Thank you. Thanks for dropping by. 26 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,530 Oh, my God, it's Gary Hart. 27 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,658 Did you see Gary Hart? I saw Gary Hart. Senator Gary Hart. 28 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,953 Could have been President Gary Hart. Could still be President Gary Hart. 29 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,454 Gary Hart, that's Gary... 30 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,167 I was just showing you how silly it looks. 31 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,170 Please, don't do it again. 32 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,583 Frasier, it was awfully nice of you to invite me out for a drink. 33 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,210 Oh, well, it's my pleasure, Jim. 34 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,462 I just couldn't bear to see you so down in the dumps 35 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,090 after you lost the election. I thought this might cheer you up. 36 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,509 I'm sure it will. 37 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,302 Woody... 38 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,889 ...let me get a Scotch on the rocks. 39 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,934 - Oh, well, make that two. - Coming right up. 40 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,604 Say, 41 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,314 aren't you that guy 42 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,316 that Janet Eldridge whipped in the election? 43 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,862 - Woody. - Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 44 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,906 I guess you just look like him. 45 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:23,412 Did that Fleener guy take a shellacking or what? 46 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,668 All right. 47 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,757 Jim, you have to look on the bright side of this. 48 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,259 Yeah. 49 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:42,681 Well, for example, what were the positive things about your campaign? 50 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:47,477 Well... Well, of course, there was Diane. 51 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,688 Diane? 52 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,652 She was wonderful. She was absolutely wonderful. 53 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,573 You know, a man could go far with a woman like that at his side. 54 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,369 In fact, now that the campaign is over, I thought I might ask her out. 55 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,957 Well, I think that's wonderfully open-minded of you, 56 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,459 considering her operation. 57 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,630 What operation was that? 58 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,761 Well, she had a sex-change operation. Surely you knew. 59 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,847 Sex change? 60 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,976 No, I, I-- Diane? 61 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,520 Hi, Frasier. 62 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:35,150 - Jim, what are you doing here? - Diane, Diane, 63 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,402 what a courageous person you are. 64 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,822 - What are you talking about? - What a wonderful job they did. 65 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:45,702 I, I-- Of course, now that I know, I can tell the difference. 66 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,291 Well, I think I'm gonna be going now. 67 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,460 Bye, Diane. 68 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,633 It's great to see old Jimbo again, isn't it? 69 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,429 Frasier, have you been telling people I had a sex-change operation again? 70 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,559 No. He guessed. 71 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,611 Why, thank you, gentlemen. 72 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,404 Well, you look nice too, Miss Eldridge. 73 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,742 Sam, we didn't expect to see you here today. 74 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,161 Well, Janet wanted me to change my tie. 75 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,956 Why don't you sit down here. I think the black one's under the bar. 76 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,500 I just wore this as a kind of gag anyway. 77 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,793 Good one. 78 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,048 Do you...? Do you want a white wine? 79 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,384 - I'd love it. - All right. Woody, would you do that? 80 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,845 - And a club soda for myself. - Sure, Sam. 81 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,722 - Hello, Sam. - Oh, hi. 82 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,600 - My, going formal again. - Yeah. 83 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,187 You've logged a lot of hours in the tuxedo lately. 84 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,481 Kind of getting used to the old monkey suit. 85 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,320 You know, I never realized until now just how appropriate that nickname is. 86 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,031 That's very funny. 87 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,577 My, aren't we a grumpy primate? 88 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:15,709 She's jealous you're going to a party at the mayor's house, and she's not. 89 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,630 As a matter of fact, I have a wonderful evening planned. 90 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,508 My date Gregory and I are going to the theatre 91 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,970 and then to a late-night supper and dancing. 92 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,431 Boy, does that bring back memories. 93 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,309 Oh, are you recalling a similar evening, Woody? 94 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,061 No, I just remembered your date called and cancelled. 95 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,566 He said that he had to go on duty at the hospital, 96 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,318 and that he was really very sorry. 97 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,361 Oh, I'm sorry too, sweetheart. 98 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,282 Well, it's okay. Really. 99 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:51,661 It's not like I went out and spent $312 on a new dress. 100 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,664 Then you'd really feel dumb. 101 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,547 - Evening, everybody. - Hey, Norm! 102 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,966 What's going down, Mr. Peterson? 103 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,885 My cheeks on this barstool. 104 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,016 What's the problem there, Norm? 105 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,644 Trouble, Cliff ie, with a capital D. 106 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,105 Vera's younger sister, Donna, is coming to visit. 107 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,483 She insists on prancing around the house 108 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,776 wearing next to nothing. 109 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:29,324 She's always exercising in front of me in skimpy little leotards and stuff. 110 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,452 She'll shower with the door half open, right in front of me. 111 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,329 I see your problem here. 112 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:39,084 Sounds like you got a case of the frustrated female over there. 113 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:43,421 I know just what to do. We'll try a little Acu-Clavin on her. 114 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,177 - Let me go get the car. - Thank you for changing, Sam. 115 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,180 I mean, it did say on the invitation, black tie. 116 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,224 Leash optional. 117 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,938 Well, Diane. 118 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,775 The election is long over and you must be tremendously relieved. 119 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,486 - About what? - Remember, you were so concerned 120 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,365 I was going to abandon Sam after he'd served my political purposes. 121 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,951 Obviously you were wrong about Sam and I. 122 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:17,038 - Wrong about Sam and me. - That too. 123 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,500 Excuse me. Sam's waiting. 124 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,880 I'd love to belt you. 125 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,768 Welcome to the losers' club, baby. 126 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,982 Now that you've paid your dues, here's your membership card. 127 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,861 Yeah, we're a pair, aren't we? 128 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,739 A couple of chumps that life just kicked in the teeth, 129 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,158 and why am I talking like Broderick Crawford? 130 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,038 Frasier, I know 131 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:03,376 you think I'm jealous of Janet and Sam's relationship, 132 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,086 but I'm not. 133 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,714 I just don't want to see him get hurt. 134 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,883 That's really all there is to it. 135 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,928 I think you're kidding yourself, Diane. We both know the reason 136 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,180 you've been down in the dumps lately. 137 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,973 But believe me, there's no need to be. 138 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,893 Sam is not really happy with that woman. 139 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,103 Just imagine the mental strain it must be 140 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,190 trying to use the right fork all the time. 141 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,861 Don't give up hope. I haven't. 142 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,492 You're a lovely man. 143 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,078 I'm sorry I hurt you. 144 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,124 I wish there was some way I could make you forgive me. 145 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,129 Well, marry me. Bear my children. Let me die in your arms. 146 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,678 I was thinking more along the lines of making fudge. 147 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,306 Well, I like your fudge. 148 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,898 - Hey, Diane, I'm leaving. - Okay. 149 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,275 I'm gonna shut off the light and lock you in. 150 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,445 - Okay. - Don't forget to cover the pool table. 151 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,365 - Okay. - Make sure you pull your arms off 152 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,951 - and stuff them down your throat. - Okay. 153 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,373 What did...? 154 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,841 I'm sorry, honey. Let me just check and make sure Woody remembered. 155 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,426 Go ahead. I know it's had you preoccupied. 156 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,096 You hardly slept a wink during the mayor's entire speech. 157 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:43,101 Oh, darn it, Woody. I knew he'd forget. 158 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,438 He forgot to leave the check for the beer man. 159 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,858 Or did I forget to tell him? 160 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,778 No, no, no, he forgot to remind me to tell him. 161 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:54,821 That's what it was. 162 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,073 Did you have a good time tonight, Sam? 163 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,200 I had a great time. 164 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:20,763 - That was nice. - Yeah, nice in a great sort of way. 165 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,683 By the way, wasn't it funny running into one of your old girlfriends 166 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,352 - working for the caterer tonight? - Was that weird? 167 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,314 - Come on, what are the odds on that? - Pretty good, I'd say. 168 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,983 We run into your girlfriends all over town. 169 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,943 I'd like to point out that we... 170 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,238 ...didn't see one in the limo on the way home. 171 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,501 What's the longest relationship you've ever had, Sam? 172 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:57,300 Oh, let's see. I went out with one person there for a whole year. 173 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,222 - Mind if I ask who she was? - No, not at all. Any time. 174 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:07,602 Oh, right, you're asking now. Well, all right. 175 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,771 You're not gonna believe this. 176 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,026 Nobody did. I mean, I even have trouble believing it. 177 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,655 It was Diane. 178 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,157 Unbelievable, huh? 179 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,369 No, actually it explains quite a few things. 180 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:30,124 Well, that's... That's Diane for you. Unbelievable and explaining things. 181 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,256 But anyway, that's all over now. 182 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,301 Since things are over between you and Diane, 183 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,095 I wonder why she continues to work here. 184 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,264 Why, she's gotta work someplace. 185 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,516 Does she owe you money she's trying to work off? 186 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,850 No. No. 187 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,312 Would you lose customers if she leaves? 188 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,648 No. As a matter of fact, I'd probably get a few back 189 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:54,983 if I did let her go. 190 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,654 Sam, nobody said anything about letting her go, 191 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,448 but, as a matter of fact, you might be doing her a favor. 192 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,159 Unless, of course, there are still feelings 193 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,704 left between you two that I should know about. 194 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,498 Don't be silly. Of course not. 195 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,252 I'm glad to hear that. 196 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,088 You know how much I care for you. 197 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,218 What are we doing here? Let's go home. 198 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,721 Listen, don't worry about that. 199 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,889 Diane is probably staying here 200 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,517 because she thinks that I can't do without her. 201 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,562 - Sam? - Yeah? 202 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,982 Do you really think that talented, bright, lovely woman 203 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,484 belongs in a bar serving drinks? 204 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,367 I guess not. I mean, no, of course not. 205 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,162 Maybe she just needs a friendly shove out of the nest. 206 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,333 I hadn't thought about that before, in that way. 207 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,334 The sooner you do it, 208 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,918 the sooner she'll be out of this dead-end job 209 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,671 and on to something a lot more meaningful in her life. 210 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,842 - Yeah, I guess so. - Oh, Sam, what am I doing? 211 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,594 I'm not being honest. 212 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:07,513 The truth is... 213 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,434 ...I'm just not comfortable with Diane working here. 214 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:15,938 I mean, you've had a past with her. And I'm as insecure as anybody. 215 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:22,028 Are you saying that you think I should fire her? 216 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,447 Sam, it's not my business. 217 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:28,451 And I'm not trying to interfere. But if I were you, 218 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,953 I'd do it right away. 219 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:32,997 Tomorrow. 220 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:37,251 - Tomorrow? - Yes. Why not? 221 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,589 Yeah, why not? 222 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,801 I mean, tomorrow is as good as any time, I guess. 223 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,704 Hey, Carla? Carla, is Diane here yet? 224 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,873 No, Diane is not here yet. 225 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,501 That is the third time you've asked me that. 226 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,587 Why would you, or anyone for that matter, want to see her? 227 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,257 Well... Just curious. No reason. 228 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,968 Well, when she gets here, I'll make an announcement, okay? 229 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,636 What's your problem? 230 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:30,680 Carla... 231 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:37,186 ...has it ever occurred to you that Diane doesn't really belong here? 232 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,063 You mean this bar or this planet? 233 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,899 Either way, it's yes. 234 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,402 Sometimes I think this place just isn't good enough 235 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,571 for somebody like her, you know? 236 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,908 I mean, she's a cocktail waitress. That's a dead-end job. 237 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,994 There's no future, no reward. 238 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,331 She, she's-- She's a junior cocktail waitress. 239 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:01,002 You are a senior cocktail waitress. There's a big difference. 240 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,546 Listen, Sam, I know what this is all about. 241 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,925 You're not really that serious about this Eldridge babe, are you? 242 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,180 To tell you the truth, I don't know how serious I am. 243 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,100 But I do know that I'm having the best time of my life. 244 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,562 And as you know, my life has been wall-to-wall fun. 245 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,525 She's smart, but at the same time 246 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,694 she doesn't make me feel not smart. 247 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,697 I feel important when I'm around her. I like that. 248 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,782 - Oh, puke. - What? 249 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,576 Will you cut it out? 250 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,370 I mean, that is the sappiest junk I've ever heard. 251 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,164 Look, you've proven your point. 252 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,249 You can go out with classy dames like her. 253 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,543 You can go out with anybody. 254 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,086 Now, you've had your fun. 255 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:47,548 I want you to just quit fooling around, march right out there, 256 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,801 and find yourself an airhead with big casabas. 257 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,181 What the heck has gotten into you, Carla? 258 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:59,143 Look, Sammy, it's just not right. You are not a one-woman guy. 259 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:03,439 I mean, it's like the time of your great sickness. 260 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,485 - When I went out with Diane. - That's right. 261 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,489 You're starting to get me worried. 262 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,868 No, no, no, you're nuts. You're nuts, Carla. 263 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,997 When Diane gets here, say something. 264 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,959 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 265 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,586 Hey, Mr. Peterson. Can I pour you a beer? 266 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,673 Well, okay, Woody, but be sure to stop me at one. 267 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,217 Make that 1:30. 268 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:38,307 So, Normie, did Vera's sister, Donna, show? 269 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,811 Yeah, she showed all right, Cliff. She showed plenty. 270 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,858 Well, don't tell me she's still prancing around in her Skivvies, eh. 271 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,570 All right, listen to this. 272 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,615 I have to go to the room to get something, right? So I knock. 273 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,368 Once, twice, no answer. 274 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,619 So in I go, right? 275 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:03,291 There she is, sitting on the bed, doing her nails, buck-naked. 276 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,502 Buck? 277 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,796 Totally buck. 278 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,257 She tried to cover herself up, but believe me, 279 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,050 an emery board doesn't hide much. 280 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,932 My nerves are just frazzled. I don't know what I should do, Cliff ie. 281 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,436 Well, I've got you covered here, Normie. You need to relax. 282 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,938 Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Relax. 283 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,565 - Right. - Yeah, see, why don't you and I 284 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,609 go over to your house and watch some tube, eh? 285 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,948 Cheers. Oh, just a minute. 286 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,117 It's for you, Mr. Peterson. 287 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,372 Oh, hey, Miss Chambers. 288 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,874 Hello, Woody. 289 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,461 - Where's Sam? - He's in his office. 290 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,754 He's dying to see you. 291 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,131 Do you have an envelope behind the bar, Woody? 292 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,053 Oh, Normie, you're as white as a sheet. What's cooking? 293 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,221 Oh, that was Vera. Her aunt's taken sick. 294 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,223 She has to go to Springfield for a few days. 295 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:04,602 That leaves me at home alone with Donna. 296 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,313 Just you and the siren. 297 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,235 Hey, Mr. Peterson, maybe you can use that siren thing 298 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,571 to scare off your sister-in-law. 299 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,787 - Hi, Diane. - Hello, Frasier. 300 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,289 Oh, say, what--? What's the matter with you? 301 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,462 Sam thinks he's going to fire me. 302 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,756 But I have a little surprise for him. 303 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,050 - I'm resigning. - You're leaving Cheers? 304 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:37,760 - That's right. - Well, great. 305 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,845 You can work for me. I need a new receptionist. 306 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,140 Frasier, you have a wonderful receptionist. 307 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,602 Mrs. McGrady has worked for you and your family for 20 years. 308 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,855 Well, yes, but I caught her in a typo the other day, so she's history. 309 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:54,318 - Thank you, Frasier. I don't think so. - Okay. 310 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,862 But one word from you and that blue-haired head rolls. 311 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:02,576 Is she here yet? Oh, good, good. 312 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,578 You're just the person I wanna see. 313 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:08,499 Sweetheart, you are far too bright, talented and lovely to waste your-- 314 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:11,752 Before you go any further, read this. 315 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,089 All right. 316 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,571 Well, does this--? Does this mean you're quitting? 317 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,824 Isn't that what it clearly states on page five? 318 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,497 But why? I mean, I don't understand why. 319 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,168 My reasons are enumerated here above the graph. 320 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:58,674 Oh. Oh, well, this-- This is great. 321 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,551 I mean, it's not great. It's awful. 322 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:03,804 But I mean it's, well, it's great for you. Don't you think? 323 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,307 I mean, it's probably best for everybody in the long run. 324 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,517 Personally, I feel awful about this. 325 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:13,147 I know what you were going to do. 326 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,316 You were going to fire me. 327 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,818 What makes you say that? 328 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,613 Let's just say a woman knows. 329 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,617 You were going to fire me. 330 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,787 And what have I done? I've made it easier for you. 331 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,873 People have always made things easier for you. 332 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,542 Well, I'm not going to let you off the hook. 333 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,961 I withdraw my resignation. 334 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,299 Fire me, if you can. 335 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:41,926 But I don't think you have the guts. 336 00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,720 After all we've gone through, the good times and the bad, 337 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,932 I say you don't have the courage to fire me to my face. 338 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,352 - You're fired. - Too late. I resign. 339 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,229 No, you can't do that. 340 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,148 No, you took back your resignation and you dared me to fire you. 341 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,819 No, you can't do that. You're fired. I did it. 342 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,196 The last time we had an official parting of the ways 343 00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:05,366 there was some question as to who left whom. 344 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:09,703 That is why this time I've gone to the trouble of tendering my resignation 345 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:10,746 in the written form. 346 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:13,749 Legal precedent states that the written document 347 00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:17,253 always supersedes the spoken word, 348 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,088 especially when it's spoken by a goof. 349 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:23,676 Oh, fine. Fine. Who cares? See you in the funny papers. 350 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,845 Oh, that's perfect. 351 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:28,138 The funny papers. 352 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:29,765 Don't say another word. 353 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,518 Let that be the last utterance I remember. 354 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,521 And now I'm off to begin a new life. 355 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:39,191 - I shall forget you in a trice. - Oh, a trice? 356 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,194 Please, let that be the last word I hear from you. 357 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,239 You troglodyte. 358 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,408 That's even better! 359 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:53,163 Attention, everyone. May I have your attention, please? 360 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,709 I have resigned. 361 00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,921 I know this comes as a shock, but I've decided that I... 362 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,966 ...no longer fit into the scheme of things around here. 363 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:06,468 I go willingly with a gladful heart, 364 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,471 for it has been my pleasure to serve you, 365 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:14,268 and my privilege to know you, lo, these many years. 366 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:15,728 I shall miss you all. 367 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,063 But weep no tears for Diane Chambers. 368 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:20,858 She's tougher than you think. 369 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:24,778 She's going to be okay. You bet she is. 370 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,781 So this is goodbye. 371 00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:33,037 For there's one thing I know, you will never, ever see me again. 372 00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:36,123 Farewell. 373 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,361 Hey, look, everyone. It's Diane.