1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:04,254
<i>Hey,</i> Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,384
Hi, Wood. Let me get a beer, will ya?

3
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,595
Oh, say, what did you do
to your thumb there?

4
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,389
Oh, well, it's a long story,

5
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,518
but I was playin'
this guy some pool last night,

6
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,729
and I had this
one-four-seven combination.

7
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,482
I was tryin' to show off
and sink all in one shot,

8
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:27,736
but the balls were positioned in such
a way that I had to lean over the edge

9
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:31,073
of the table
and get in a kind of a twisted-up...

10
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,077
- You fell and broke your thumb.
- No. I still couldn't get the shot,

11
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,996
so I went and got the bridge
and I got up on a chair

12
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,040
and I put my weight on the bridge.

13
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,543
It snapped,
you fell and broke your thumb?

14
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:46,588
No. I made the shot and I beat the guy.

15
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,258
He got angry
and he broke your thumb, right?

16
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,553
No, I beat him fair and square.
He paid me ten bucks he owed me.

17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,974
- So, how did you break your thumb?
- I slipped on the ice on the way home.

18
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:05,983
Woody, why did you go into all that
long-winded detail about the game?

19
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,278
Well, it wouldn't have been much
of a story without the pool stuff.

20
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,114
Yo, Woody.

21
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:15,284
- What happened to your thumb?
- Oh, I slipped on the ice.

22
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,166
Woody, why didn't you
tell him the long drawn-out version?

23
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,210
That's the guy I was playin' pool with.

24
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,831
What the hell is keepin' Diane?
I'm gonna be late for school.

25
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,251
School, Carla?
I'm delightfully astonished.

26
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,880
Adult education is one of the
finest gifts one can give oneself.

27
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:55,842
Kudos on joining the burgeoning
ranks of enlightened, wondering minds

28
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,930
- seeking betterment through knowledge.
- It's traffic school, you nimrod.

29
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,601
- You got pinched, Carla?
- Yeah, speeding.

30
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:08,271
But it wasn't my fault.
There was a leaf stuck on my windshield,

31
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,400
and I had to gun her up
to 80 to blow it off.

32
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:16,530
- The cop didn't believe ya?
- No. Couldn't be bribed either.

33
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,241
Carla, what,
you offered the policeman money?

34
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,452
Money? With a body like this?

35
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,708
Hello, everyone. We're back.

36
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:31,253
- Sammy, where ya been, man?
- Picking china patterns.

37
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:37,259
This may have been
the stupidest morning of my life.

38
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,680
Oh, Sam, don't forget.
Tomorrow we register for flatware.

39
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:45,267
- The second stupidest.
- Did you select something nice?

40
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:49,938
We've committed to Royal Doulton's
Carlisle for the fine china,

41
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:54,192
but Sam still hasn't made up
his mind about the everyday ware.

42
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:58,488
Yes, I have. I like the dishes
with the different colored flowers.

43
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,574
Ish.

44
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,411
Come on, I love those. They're just
like I had when I was a kid.

45
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,912
They're real pretty,

46
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,207
and if you don't like the food on your
plate, you can hide it in the pattern.

47
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,920
Okay, fine.

48
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,214
Well, why don't you think about it

49
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:21,470
and if you still insist that
they're not the most garish, bourgeois,

50
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,473
stomach-turningly ugly pattern in
the book, then that's what we'll get.

51
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,561
She's makin' me nuts
with this wedding stuff!

52
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:30,896
So ditch her!

53
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:35,734
You know, if I had my way, I would
find the nearest justice of the peace

54
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,737
and tie the knot. You know,
that's not such a bad idea.

55
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,781
Right. Or you could ditch her.

56
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:46,661
- Don't you have traffic school?
- Nuts! Now I'm gonna be late!

57
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,165
Well, I guess I can make it
if I run all the yellows.

58
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,794
- Sam.
- Yeah?

59
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,005
I've got Penelope
from the bridal registry on the line,

60
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,591
and we're going back
over the linen choices.

61
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,803
Now for the fingertip towels
in the guest bath,

62
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,847
do we want monogrammed
or is that too wootsy?

63
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,225
The second thing you said.

64
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,395
I agree.

65
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:16,817
Of course,
a simple initial can be elegant.

66
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,070
You better look at the picture.
I need a man's opinion.

67
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,323
Frasier, help Diane, will you?

68
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:29,412
Sam, these will be our fingertip towels
for the rest of our lives.

69
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,507
We'd better get married quick,
or I'm gonna kill her.

70
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:46,680
All right, all right, that's it.
Bachelor party here, tonight.

71
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,599
- What're you talkin' about?
- Didn't you hear the man?

72
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,562
They might be eloping. And I'm not
gonna be done out of my right as best man

73
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,648
to throw him
the best wingding of the century.

74
00:05:56,815 --> 00:06:00,235
- So, what're we gonna have...?
- Stop, Cliff.

75
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,612
Sam asked you to be his best man?

76
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:06,449
Well, not in so many words,
but, you know, who's closest? So...

77
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,201
Hold on now. I don't know.

78
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,662
I may not have known Sam
as long as some of you guys,

79
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:15,333
but we're pretty darn close.
I'm kinda like the brother he never had.

80
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,294
Wait, Woody, Sam has a brother.

81
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,047
Guess we're not as close as I thought.

82
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,718
I think we better throw
the greatest bachelor party

83
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,803
for the greatest bachelor
who ever lived!

84
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,890
I'll pick up some deli platters
and some champagne,

85
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,018
and you guys can just reimburse me
at your leisure. All right?

86
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,936
Why didn't you say so?

87
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,440
We got the food and the drinks taken
care of. We need entertainment.

88
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:41,985
- Who's gonna entertain?
- I think the tradition calls for...

89
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,070
- What about a stag film?
- Yeah.

90
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,990
There's a place
on my route that might sell 'em.

91
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,242
The Hot and Nasty Video Boutique.

92
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,455
I think there might
be one or two laying around there.

93
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,832
We got the food, drink, entertainment.

94
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,627
Now all we need
is a girl jumping out of the cake.

95
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,714
I've seen 'em do that
in the movies all the time.

96
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,508
That seems like a waste
of good cake to me.

97
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,055
Woody, the cake is really immaterial.

98
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,682
- It's the girl who's the dessert.
- Right.

99
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,518
Then I think
it should be Miss Chambers.

100
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,566
Listen, tractor-boy.

101
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,905
No guy wants his fiancée
jumpin' out of a cake.

102
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,283
It's like takin'
your mother to the prom.

103
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,536
So I'm told.

104
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:42,712
Okay, okay, okay, so where
can we get Sammy someone hot?

105
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:47,217
- Dare we look in his book?
- Nah, Sammy's had all those girls.

106
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,427
Sam, stop being such a grumble-bunny.

107
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,263
Just grit your teeth
and pick out a dust ruffle.

108
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,852
I still say we're missin'
a bet under our noses.

109
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,604
Trust me...

110
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,857
That's okay.
Listen, it wouldn't hurt to ask.

111
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,776
- No, no, no, no!
- Don't!

112
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,737
- Excuse me, Miss Chambers?
- Yes, Woody.

113
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,615
Would you like to jump out
of Sam's bachelor party cake?

114
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,118
Woody,

115
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,914
I abhor such juvenile,
sexist male rituals.

116
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,208
Yeah, but would you do it?

117
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,753
Just checkin'.
All right, you're right.

118
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,632
We're gonna have to find some other
beautiful girl to be Sam's dessert.

119
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,844
Wait a minute!

120
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:40,145
I just realized why you want me,
the bride-to-be,

121
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:44,149
to jump from the cake.
It's a wonderful irony.

122
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,404
- Of course. I'll do it. Of course.
- Oh, great.

123
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:54,868
Imagine me, of all people,
missing the point of a joke.

124
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,413
Hey, don't worry about it,
Miss Chambers. It even happens to me.

125
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,589
- Sammy, what time you got there, man?
- 11.15.

126
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,468
11.15. How did it get so late so early?

127
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,179
Better be gettin' home to Vera.

128
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,639
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm pretty beat myself.

129
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,686
It's been a rough week. But anyway...

130
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:25,940
Yeah, you know what they say: "The early
bird catches the obsessive-compulsive."

131
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,235
'Night, Sam.

132
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,657
They sure took off
in a hurry, didn't they?

133
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,620
Yeah, but that doesn't seem
suspicious to you, does it?

134
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,751
No, I guess not.

135
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,336
Oh, hey, I have an idea.

136
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:50,340
You go in the back and total these
receipts, and we'll get outta here.

137
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,760
Okay. All right.

138
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,054
Say, Woody, when I come back out here,

139
00:09:56,221 --> 00:10:00,058
there's not gonna be a surprise for me,
is there? A surprise party, maybe?

140
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,394
- No!
- You're not lyin', are you?

141
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:08,066
Sam, you'd know if I was lyin'.
I'd tell ya.

142
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,696
- Right. I'll be in my office.
- All right.

143
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,246
Come on in, guys.
He didn't suspect a thing!

144
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,666
Come on down, fellas.

145
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,628
Put that banner up there.

146
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,094
Be calm.

147
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,057
In the words of the immortal bard,
"Party!"

148
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,063
Sam, you can go home now.

149
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,484
Surprise!

150
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,739
Wow!

151
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,703
Sam, you should see
the look on your face!

152
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,551
Hey!

153
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,552
Great stuff!

154
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,596
Boy.

155
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,893
That last scene gave me
new respect for rowing machines.

156
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,229
Hey, you guys...

157
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,732
Thank you. This has been fantastic.

158
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:34,068
I used to think bachelor parties
were kind of embarrassing.

159
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,405
- Hit the lights!
- Oh, God, not...

160
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,499
- Girl in there, right?
- Well...

161
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,585
Just your type.

162
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:57,091
So make the obligatory speech
and have at her! Yeah!

163
00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:01,262
Oh, no, I can't do it. I...
You know... No.

164
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:05,642
I know you went to a lot of trouble.
I'm sorry, but it just wouldn't be right.

165
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,644
Come on, Sammy.

166
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,396
King of the road!

167
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:18,029
Better make hay. After this, it is
one woman for the rest of your life.

168
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,365
Yeah...

169
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:26,037
I never really thought about it
in those terms before.

170
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,415
One woman for the rest of my life.

171
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:33,044
I mean, don't get me wrong.
She's a great woman,

172
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:36,256
but... there's only one of her.

173
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,218
For the rest of my life.

174
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,137
But, you know, it'll go quickly.
Just cut--

175
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,559
Boy, it really makes you think.
I've been a bachelor a good long time.

176
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:54,148
I mean, a good lot of women.
Now there won't be any more women.

177
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:57,777
Just woman. One woman.

178
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,280
Yeah, but what a woman!
I mean, you know what?

179
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,949
I've got an idea.
Why don't we have some cake?

180
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:08,830
One perfume. One set of ear lobes.

181
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,582
Not even sensitive ear lobes.

182
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,046
One pair of lips, flapping in my ears.

183
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,592
Day after day until I die.
Oh, my God!

184
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:26,139
Sammy, that's great.
We got a big, wonderful cake here.

185
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,599
With a very special surprise inside,

186
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,811
which just might spoil
if you don't shut up!

187
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,400
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What am I doing?

188
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,403
If I'm gonna tie myself
to the old ball and chain,

189
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,948
I might as well get
one last night of freedom in here.

190
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,492
Okay, bring her out here.
Strap her on.

191
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,619
Come on. Yeah!

192
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,083
Strap this on!

193
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,390
Sam, you should see
the look on your face!

194
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,609
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Carla, how was traffic school?

195
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,320
- Yeah, it was all right.
- Yeah?

196
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,573
Don't all those gory movies
they show turn your stomach a bit?

197
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:29,118
Norm, you're forgetting.
I've seen Diane without make-up.

198
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,998
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi.

199
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:37,001
- Hello, you.
- Let me help you with that. All right.

200
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,296
Boy, you look fantastic.
That is a great outfit on you.

201
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:45,551
- Sam, you make a lousy sycophant.
- Yes, but I make a great margarita.

202
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,805
May I speak to you in your office?

203
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,266
Anything you want. You bet.
Oh, come on, smile.

204
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,603
For some reason,
I don't feel like smiling.

205
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,731
Did I ever tell you how cute you are
when you're mad?

206
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:02,235
Come on.
Listen, snap out of this, will ya?

207
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:06,030
I didn't say all that stuff last night
to hurt your feelings.

208
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,201
My feelings aren't hurt.

209
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,287
I just feel bad for you.

210
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,792
Sentenced to a life with one perfume.

211
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,297
One set of insensitive ear lobes.

212
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,468
One set of lips flapping in your ear...

213
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,139
...till you die.

214
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:38,187
Come on! I was with a bunch of guys.
They forced me to make a speech.

215
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:42,442
How the hell did I know my fiancée was
hiding in the cake taking dictation?

216
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,195
- Did you mean it, Sam?
- No.

217
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,867
It's just this whole marriage thing

218
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,453
just kinda snuck up on me, that's all.

219
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:57,248
I'm happy that you're the
only woman I'll ever make love to again...

220
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,500
...ever.

221
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,592
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... you see,

222
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,762
I mean, if I had known that
the last one was gonna be the last one,

223
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,557
I would have prepared myself for it.

224
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,728
Sweetheart, it's kinda like popcorn.

225
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,315
Now you can munch away as long
as you know there's a bowlful,

226
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,525
but if all of a sudden it's all gone,

227
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,986
there's nothin' left
but the salt and the duds,

228
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,823
you feel bad because if you'd known
the last kernel was the last one,

229
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,575
you would have savored it.

230
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,704
Am I making myself clear on this?

231
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:41,167
Oh, yes, yes. I'm salt and duds.

232
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,714
I don't know.

233
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:53,221
I don't know what to say
to make this right except I'm sorry.

234
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:59,352
Would 24 hours of wild, uninhibited,

235
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:04,774
hedonistic sexual carousing
with anything in a tube top suffice?

236
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:12,240
In addition to saying I'm sorry?

237
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,663
Sam, you can apologize
till the cows come home,

238
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:22,166
but it won't alleviate the problem.

239
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:26,587
After much consideration,
I propose that you go on a flesh binge.

240
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:33,469
Sow your wild oats.
Get it out of your system.

241
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:37,098
Savor your last kernel of popcorn.

242
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,810
- Are you serious?
- Absolutely.

243
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:44,313
It's the only way
we can establish a clean slate.

244
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,943
No guilt, no remorse, no regrets.

245
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:53,656
So, dive into that little black book
of yours and enjoy.

246
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,367
I threw that dumb thing away
when we got engaged.

247
00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:02,039
I'm sure you have one or two
numbers etched in your memory.

248
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,249
You listen to me.

249
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,712
I'm only gonna agree to do this
because I love you, Diane.

250
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,759
Well, don't do it for me, Sam.

251
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,513
Do it for the health
of our future marriage.

252
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:23,311
Excuse me, when do my 24 hours begin?

253
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,812
- Right now.
- All right.

254
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,065
- The same as mine.
- Okay. Wait, wait.

255
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,113
- Yours?
- Of course, Sam.

256
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,157
This is the only way we can be sure

257
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:39,744
that I have all other men
out of my system.

258
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,921
No, no...

259
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,645
Sammy back yet?

260
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:09,231
Well, T-minus 30 minutes and counting.

261
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,901
I figure right about now,

262
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:16,238
Sammy's probably
leaning back in bed and smokin'.

263
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,659
I don't remember
ever seein' Sammy smoke a cigarette.

264
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,662
Who said anything about cigarettes?

265
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,292
- The man!
- All right!

266
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,337
- What's the score, Sammy?
- You know he's not the kind of guy

267
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,132
to kiss and tell.
Not that he wastes much time kissin'.

268
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,637
Yeah, you guys know me, all right.

269
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,014
So has anyone heard from Diane?

270
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,309
Not a word. It's been heaven.
Are you worried about her?

271
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,187
I'm not worried.
What makes you think I'm worried?

272
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:51,899
- What time is it, anyway?
- It's time for you to stop worryin'.

273
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:56,529
For God's sakes, Sammy,
who'd be stupid enough to touch Diane?

274
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,822
Besides you.

275
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,826
Good point. You know,
yeah, why am I worried about her?

276
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,453
Oh, Rick, you really came through.

277
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,709
Sam! Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
Rick was kind enough to drive me to work

278
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,753
when my car broke down.

279
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,297
I knew that.

280
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,093
I just wanted
to give him a thank you shake.

281
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,262
Thank you, thank you.

282
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,019
Maybe I'll take
a rain check on that drink.

283
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,816
- Good luck with your marriage.
- Yes. Thank you.

284
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,819
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, Rick.

285
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:42,825
Well, I guess I'll just begin my shift.

286
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,412
- Like hell you will!
- Sam! Now, Sam! Sam!

287
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:53,252
All right, where were you last night?

288
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,341
I was taking full advantage
of my 24 hours.

289
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,053
I looked into the recesses of my heart,

290
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:08,684
and I realized that I still
had one oat that needed to be sown.

291
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,230
One fantastic oat.

292
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:16,901
Is that all you think about? Sex.

293
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,863
You know, it's disgusting!

294
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,949
Whatever happened to romance?
To commitment?

295
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,578
Look at you, look at you!
You haven't even changed your dress!

296
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:32,458
I am wearing this dress again
because I like it.

297
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,712
- It sets off my eyes.
- Yeah, I'll set off your eyes!

298
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:42,218
You wanna know something?
I had the exact same 24 hours you did,

299
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:46,722
and I didn't do anything. You know why?
Because I happen to be a one-woman guy.

300
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,142
We got something special going,

301
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,521
and I didn't want to cheapen it,
like somebody else I could mention.

302
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:57,399
You know,
people could refer to you as a tart.

303
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,739
- How can you say that?
- Easy. Tart!

304
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,533
Tart, tart, tart, tart!

305
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,619
I mean, what else do
you call somebody who didn't go home?

306
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,412
How do you know that?

307
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:13,833
Because I was idiot enough
to spend the entire night

308
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,795
watching your apartment from my car.
And you did not go home.

309
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,383
Well, you must be exhausted.

310
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,594
That's right! I'm exhausted.
You're damn right I'm exhausted.

311
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:30,099
Oh, come on, Sam.
Now you had a little catnap around 6am.

312
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:31,141
Did not.

313
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,894
How'd you know that?

314
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:39,024
Because I was down the street
in my car watching you watch me.

315
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:46,657
Oh, my God! You spied on me!
I mean that stinks.

316
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,786
What happened to faith?

317
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:53,706
What happened... what happened to trust?

318
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,457
God...

319
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,126
Sam!

320
00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:00,671
I took a lover's leap of faith

321
00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:06,635
in granting you sexual carte blanche
for the past 24 hours.

322
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:13,767
And just as my heart suspected,
instead of gallivanting about,

323
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:16,437
you spent the whole time spying on me.

324
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:23,027
I had one last night to go out
and have a great time,

325
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,862
and I blow it.

326
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:27,740
God, I'm a poor excuse for a stud.

327
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,828
I don't know about that.

328
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:38,000
We still have
five minutes left in our deal.

329
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,420
Five minutes?

330
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,590
Well, hell,
somebody should have told me that.

331
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:49,887
Damn it!

332
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:56,310
- How long did you say we have here?
- Five minutes.

333
00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:58,520
Not enough time. Now come on, Sam.

334
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,315
- We'd better skip to the good parts.
- Come on.

335
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:03,609
I have to go to work! Sam!