1 00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,466 What are you doing there, Norm? 3 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:11,053 Vera signed me up to give a speech at her women's auxiliary club. 4 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:15,265 - I hate public speaking. - Yeah, you're not alone there, pal. 5 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,642 Yeah, it's awful, you know? You-- 6 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,102 You're standing there in front of a group of total strangers... 7 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,897 Palms sweating, your throat dry. 8 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,732 Your mouth feels like it's full of cotton. 9 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,234 Your knees practically buckling. 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,194 It could be a miserable experience. 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:31,031 - So... what's the topic? - "Poise, the key to success." 12 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,648 Thanks, Mom. Yeah, don't worry about it. 13 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,150 I'll find somebody to sit for the kids. 14 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,276 Bye. 15 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,029 - She can't do it? - She's scared to. 16 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,532 Maybe I'll watch the kids for you, Carla. 17 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,494 It's not fair. This always happens to me when I have a date on a weeknight. 18 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,788 - Who's the lucky guy? - My butcher. 19 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,206 Oh, yeah? What happened to Eddie? 20 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,460 Eddie's in Vancouver. My butcher's three blocks down. 21 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,794 Life is short. 22 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,506 I wouldn't mind looking after your kids for you, Carla. 23 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,342 What am I gonna do now, huh? 24 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,428 Well, I'd do it, but I'm working on Wednesday. 25 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,429 Yeah. 26 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:20,349 Yeah, Vera and I would love to, but we have this thing Wednesday night. 27 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,851 Yeah, Diane and I have a thing, too. 28 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,145 - Yeah. - Maybe it's the same thing. 29 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,273 - I don't think so. - Oh, no. 30 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,902 I'm... I'm not busy Wednesday. 31 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,529 Well, guess I'm gonna have to cancel my date. 32 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,369 Well, is this a day to press in your memory books, or what? 33 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,913 Well, you guys sound pretty chipper. 34 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,414 Shall I tell them, Lilith? 35 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,751 Out with it, or I'm liable to burst with anticipation. 36 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,339 Drs. Sternin and Crane are proud to announce 37 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,676 that they are now officially POTOSSLQ's. 38 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:01,264 It means "persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters." 39 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,683 Yes. 40 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:06,019 You see, it's a little lovers in-joke we picked up 41 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,604 from a Census Bureau acronym. 42 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,606 I love those. 43 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,151 Well, man, that's great. 44 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,029 - Congratulations. - Yes. Yes. 45 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,698 This is quite a surprise. 46 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,616 You've only known each other a few months, 47 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,493 and you're moving in together. 48 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,911 That's pretty impetuous. 49 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,957 Well, a week ago we decided to take a chance on cohabitation, 50 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,084 but we waited a week before announcing the news 51 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,961 so as to avoid putting any undo pressure 52 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,296 on the success or failure of the endeavor. 53 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:37,551 And now we are pleased to announce the effort a limited success. 54 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,681 Yes. Pretty darn impetuous. 55 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,184 Well, we thought that the two of you were responsible 56 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,438 for Lilith and I finding each other in this cockeyed world, 57 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,940 so we... we thought we'd like to have you over for dinner 58 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,818 on Wednesday night as our very first guests. 59 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,738 - Why, we'd be honored. - Yeah, I'll be there. 60 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,364 Great, we'll get away from the Hurly-burly of this place 61 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,117 and concentrate completely on the lost art of conversation. 62 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,785 I'll be there anyway. 63 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,038 All right, Wednesday night it is, then. 64 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,542 Shall we say... what? 8:00-ish? 65 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,752 Wonderful. 66 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,921 You don't know how happy this makes me. 67 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,718 So, you and Diane have this thing Wednesday night, huh? 68 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,636 Why don't you just come out and say it?! 69 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,306 You don't want to spend an evening alone with my kids. 70 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,226 We don't want to spend an evening alone with your kids. 71 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,520 Neither do I. 72 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,148 Well, what choice do I have? 73 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:37,944 Carla, I think Cliff might be interested in watching them. 74 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,114 What are you doing Wednesday night? 75 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,991 Pumping iron. 76 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,289 Okay, Cliff, you're up. 77 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,291 Be at my house Wednesday at 6:00, 78 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,877 but remember, you asked for it. 79 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:59,049 Obviously she doesn't think that I can handle the kids. 80 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,468 Yeah, but my guess is that they'll settle down 81 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,513 once they're confronted with a strong male authority figure. 82 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,223 You're bringing your mom? 83 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,913 I'm home, sweet potato! 84 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,917 Just a moment, cinnamon bear. 85 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,898 How was your day? 86 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,234 I want to take you now by the dip. 87 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,486 You impulsive man, we have guests coming. 88 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,738 Yes, I know. It'll be our little joke on them. 89 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:07,200 Every time they say the word "dip," we'll become giddy with remembrance. 90 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,873 The word itself will become a syllable filled with our overwhelming passion. 91 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,084 Dear, you're using sex to express your aggression 92 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,712 toward the confines of polite society. 93 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,714 - Dip. - I love it! 94 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,597 What is that heavenly aroma coming from the kitchen? 95 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,558 - Dinner. - Oh, yes, of course. Dinner. 96 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,059 Well, I'm sorry I'm late, by the way. 97 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,103 - I got-- - No explanation is necessary. 98 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,898 I know you far too well to have expected you to be on time tonight. 99 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,067 Oh, right. Why is that? 100 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,695 Because I've learned that a certain self-centered insensitivity 101 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,656 is a fundamental part of your psychological makeup, 102 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,742 and it only endears you to me. 103 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,621 I'm so glad you shared that with me. 104 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:57,042 Of course, you can't know everything about me. 105 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,585 I mean, who would have thought that I'd enjoy living with you, 106 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,170 but here we are. 107 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,964 You didn't expect to enjoy living with me? 108 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:07,719 Well, you do have an uncompromising quality, 109 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,930 but a very attractive one it is, though. 110 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,182 Well, if you were hesitant, why do it? 111 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,309 Well, it's the way you arranged it, isn't it? 112 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,144 It was your idea. 113 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,898 Yes, well, you see, you're forgetting the passive-aggressive trick you have 114 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,525 of leading someone else into doing something that you want to do, 115 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,986 thereby absolving yourself of responsibility. 116 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,031 And very adorable it is, too, my little parsnip. 117 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,245 Why do you insist on displaying your magazines 118 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,332 in that insipid accordion design? 119 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,214 I'm sorry if this one little touch of theatrical flair 120 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,466 is too much for your retentive nature. 121 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,553 We'll go into my retentive nature later. 122 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,389 For now, we have guests coming. 123 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,640 You know, I see what you're trying to do here. 124 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,059 You want me to begin the argument that you wish you could start yourself. 125 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,185 Well, I will not do it. 126 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,729 If you want to have an altercation, you will have to-- 127 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,815 How could you be late on a night like this?! 128 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,609 Didn't you know I'd be nervous making my first dinner in your house 129 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,528 while your stupid friends are looking at me 130 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,904 and judging my every move?! 131 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,614 I'll never forgive you for this! 132 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,492 Never! Never! Never! Never! 133 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,791 Just a minute! 134 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,794 Darling, I think that was a real breakthrough. 135 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:28,425 So come out of the bathroom, and after dinner we'll build on it. 136 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,094 But our-- our guests are here now. 137 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,139 Dear heart? Darling? 138 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,224 Coming! Coming! 139 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,066 Hi! Come in. Come in. 140 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,484 I hope we're not early. 141 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,778 Oh, no, no, no. Your timing is just perfect. 142 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,573 Boy, am I hungry. 143 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,117 - Sam! - Well... you know. 144 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,786 So, where's your lovely POTOSSLQ? 145 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,372 She's around somewhere. 146 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,915 Peace blossom? 147 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,837 Don't make yourself too beautiful. I can hardly stand to look at you now! 148 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,054 Lilith, please come out, darling. Please. 149 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,597 What was that? 150 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,142 Got something stuck in her-- contact lens. 151 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,685 Oh, I hate that. 152 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,312 Well, listen, here. Come. Sit down. Relax. 153 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:26,191 Pour yourself some wine, whatever. Just make yourselves comfortable. 154 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,401 Diane, could you hand me that cheese knife, please? 155 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,614 Thank you, Diane. 156 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,700 Enjoy. I'll be right back. 157 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,627 What do you think you're doing?! 158 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,089 Might I have a little privacy? 159 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,256 We can resolve all this later, 160 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,342 but for now, these people may be my friends, 161 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,511 but they are not the greatest conversationalists in the world, 162 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,262 and I could use your help! 163 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,726 Good chips. 164 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,773 Lilith. 165 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,983 Welcome to our home. 166 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,240 I am so happy for the both of you. 167 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,076 Yeah, absolutely. Congratulations. Yeah, that's great. 168 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,171 I love what you've done with this place. 169 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,133 Oh, yes. I love the masculine touches. 170 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,592 Thank you. 171 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,560 Say, that uh, that dip looks good. 172 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,023 - Dip? - Dip? 173 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,569 Yeah, the... the dip. Could you... pass it, please? 174 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,698 Yes, of course. Be my guest. Here you are. 175 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,449 Oh, thank you. 176 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,581 Yeah, that is great dip. 177 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,915 Yeah, yeah. Try it. 178 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,042 Delicious, Lilith. 179 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,336 Frasier, have you tried some of Lilith's dip? 180 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,594 Yes, I have. Yes. 181 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,641 Well, then, I don't have to tell you how good it is. 182 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,979 It's quite good. 183 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,647 Well, I don't mean to hog it here. 184 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,816 You guys look hungry. Help yourself. 185 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:48,583 So, Frasier... 186 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,294 Was it good for you, too? 187 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,261 What the hell's in this dip? 188 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:09,479 Well, may I... 189 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,106 ...propose a toast? 190 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,942 To your house. 191 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,985 - Our house? - Hear, hear. 192 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,153 Yes. 193 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,114 Our house 194 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,282 Oh, I love that. 195 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,493 Is a very, very, very fine house 196 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,995 With two cats in the yard 197 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,748 Life used to be so hard 198 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:33,628 Now, everything is easy 'cause of you 199 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:38,424 And our house 200 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,802 Is a very, very, very fine house 201 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,596 With two cats in the yard 202 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,848 Life used to be so hard 203 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,433 Et cetera, et cetera. 204 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,565 You know what I love about your relationship? 205 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,775 No. 206 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:02,573 You never seem to have an unexpressed thought. 207 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,158 Yeah, I've noticed that. 208 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:08,997 How do you maintain that level of honesty? 209 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,707 Well, it's simple. 210 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,126 Frasier and I keep no secrets from each other. 211 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,377 Come on. 212 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,462 You don't mean to tell me you tell each other everything? 213 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,839 - Certainly. - Exactly. 214 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,049 We've bared our souls to each other. 215 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,218 Now, no guy's gonna tell his brand-new girlfriend 216 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,845 about all the women he... 217 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:25,722 You know. 218 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,434 But there must be no secrets in that area. 219 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,728 That's where honesty counts most. 220 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,522 Gee, you know, I'm afraid I don't think that's such a good idea. 221 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,233 You mean, the two of you, planning marriage, 222 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,068 haven't already had this discussion? 223 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,111 Of course we have. 224 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,821 Well, Diane's told us about both of hers, 225 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:45,575 and we're just about up to the Johnson Administration on mine. 226 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,123 Seriously, though. I-- I think that we're... 227 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:55,126 all entitled to our little secrets. 228 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,461 Why? 229 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,714 They only lead to embarrassment when they're inevitably revealed. 230 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,215 Exactly. 231 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:04,010 I know I feel better knowing that Frasier's told you 232 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,054 he and I were once engaged, 233 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,474 so I don't have to worry about you discovering it 234 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,685 at some inopportune moment. 235 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,111 Like now, for instance. 236 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:36,918 Dear. Dear, I thought I told you that Diane and I used to date. 237 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,712 Date, yes. That you had decided to marry 238 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,006 and spend the rest of your life with her, no. 239 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,591 Semantics. 240 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,551 Then why were you afraid to tell me that one detail? 241 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,720 Because she still means something to you, doesn't she? 242 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,972 She means absolutely nothing to me. 243 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,850 I mean, if I notice her at all, it's merely as an annoyance, 244 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,977 like a bug flying around in a room. 245 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,730 Diane, Diane, be a dear. 246 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,399 Would you grab me the cheese knife, please? 247 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,653 Frasier, I'm sorry this happened, 248 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,072 but I think it would be best for everyone 249 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,990 if you told her the truth. 250 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,617 Diane's right. 251 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,543 All right, all right. 252 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,963 Darling, I am going to tell you the whole truth. 253 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:33,975 Out with it. 254 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,770 All right... 255 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,025 Diane and I were engaged to be married, and... 256 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,237 ...she left me at the altar. 257 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,991 The whole experience was so... 258 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:55,580 humiliating, I've just been trying to forget it ever since. 259 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,958 Your feelings for her were genuine? 260 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,002 Yes. 261 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,046 And it's only on account of her action 262 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,757 that you're not married to her at this very moment? 263 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,427 Well, I-- I never really looked at it that way. 264 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,179 And if Sam were out of the picture, you'd throw me over 265 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,306 - and run back to her, wouldn't you? - I don't love her anymore. 266 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,683 You switch your passions on and off very quickly, Dr. Crane. 267 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,602 - I do not! - Then you do still love her. 268 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,979 - Well, I never did. - You were going to marry her. 269 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,355 Maybe I just thought I loved her. 270 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,649 How do I know you don't just think you love me?! 271 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,152 Well, I don't. I mean, I-- I did. I-- I never-- 272 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,489 I will not be grilled like a common criminal! 273 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,496 Cheese knife? 274 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,630 All right. Thank you very much. Bye. 275 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,050 Ordering another round for the corner table, honey. 276 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,551 All right, Corinne. Now, listen... 277 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,762 thanks a lot for subbing at such short notice. 278 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,639 Hey, this is my life. 279 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,142 Well, it shouldn't... it shouldn't be so bad, you know. 280 00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,644 It's not really very crowded tonight. 281 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,521 That's what you said the last time. 282 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:05,191 When I got home, my can was dragging this far off the ground. 283 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,653 Thanks for sharing that with us, Corinne. 284 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,866 Well, that was Carla's daughter. 285 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,078 She said that the kids are gonna drop off Mr. Clavin. 286 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:20,122 All right. All right. 287 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,167 I don't think her kids are old enough to drive. 288 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,295 What was that? 289 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,763 - Cliff, buddy! - Are you all right? 290 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:42,853 Wait, there's a note. 291 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,148 "Don't open until Christmas." 292 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,775 Shoot. 293 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,615 Now, look here, Lilith, you needn't worry 294 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,285 about Frasier carrying a torch for me. 295 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,122 I assure you, he feels nothing but resentment toward me. 296 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:05,793 He knows I was using him to forget the real love I felt, 297 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,212 and feel, for Sam here. 298 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,006 Is there any more Chex mix? 299 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,637 You see, Sam is my real love. 300 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:24,645 I'm ashamed to say that Frasier was a convenient dalliance on my part 301 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,647 at a time when I needed someone. 302 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,149 Anyone. 303 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,942 I'm sorry it was him. 304 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,404 So, essentially, Frasier was a toy 305 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,449 you played with briefly and then threw away. 306 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,493 Well, it wasn't that bad. 307 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,038 A fellow human being whose emotions you twisted 308 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,958 for your own satisfaction with no consideration for his feelings. 309 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,336 Frasier had some fun. 310 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,007 We would speak nothing but French on Sundays. 311 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,807 I heard it all. 312 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,645 How could I have been so blind? 313 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,564 Don't blame yourself. 314 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,942 That's right. You can't blame anyone in these situations. 315 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,235 He can blame you. 316 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,324 Now, look here... 317 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,619 Our relationship was a 2-way street. 318 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,871 Yes, and I was run over in both directions. 319 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,542 Oh, Frasier, you had fun. 320 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:32,546 Diane, I never had a whit of fun, especially on Sundays! 321 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,965 And the only thing more egregious than your French pronunciation 322 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,258 is your syntax! 323 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,227 - Dinner, everyone. - Wait, wait, wait. 324 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,854 Come on, this whole thing has gone on too far here. 325 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,272 Listen up. 326 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:54,527 See, this is what happens when you open old wounds. 327 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,447 I mean, I don't know what happened between Frasier and Diane, 328 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,241 but it seems to me they had a little fun. 329 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,326 But they just weren't right for each other. 330 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:05,496 But now that they've found somebody that is right for them, 331 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,707 I think you both should be happy for each other. 332 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,750 And leave it at that. 333 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,471 Je regretter, mes ami. 334 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,307 I'm sorry, too, Diane. I don't know what came over me. 335 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,059 Diane, can you forgive me? 336 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,729 I'm the one who's sorry. 337 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,189 And happy for both of you. 338 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,024 Thank you. 339 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,818 - And thank you, Sam. - Yes. 340 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,028 Well, I just thought it went on long enough. 341 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,072 Besides, I-- I have to use the bathroom here. 342 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,706 Would anyone like some more lasagne? 343 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,125 No, thank you. I think we've had our fill. 344 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,002 Fine, then I'll just get the coffee. 345 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,090 Lasagna? 346 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,342 I wasn't even thinking Italian. 347 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,262 Well, I was closest. I said something with meat. 348 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,307 That will be all, then, Jill. 349 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,225 You can come by and clean up in the morning. 350 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,935 Thank you, Dr. Sternin. 351 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,857 You mean you had someone back there helping you with this? 352 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:18,986 With the side dishes, yes, but at the risk of sounding immodest, 353 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,947 I have to take credit for the lasagne myself. 354 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,034 - Oh, well-- - Well, bravo! 355 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,331 Well, shall we adjourn to the living room for some coffee? 356 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,749 Nice. 357 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,169 May I propose another toast? 358 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:37,046 Why stop at seven? 359 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:45,304 Well, we have all learned a valuable lesson this evening. 360 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:49,725 We shouldn't be frightened of the past or of any affairs our lovers have had. 361 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:53,521 Indeed, we should be grateful for those past experiences 362 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:58,442 because they've made him or her the person we love today. 363 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:00,194 - Hear, hear. - Well said. 364 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,822 Let me, uh, fill some of these wine glasses here. 365 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,125 Sam Malone! You beautiful man. 366 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,212 Where have you been keeping yourself? 367 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,755 Hey, Jill. How the hell you been? 368 00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,799 Great. Just great. 369 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,425 Well, you still doing massage? 370 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,886 Just the way you like 'em. 371 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:27,847 Who's this, Sam? 372 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:32,268 You know, it's getting kind of late. Maybe you ought to take off. 373 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:33,978 Bye-bye. 374 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,480 Why is it... 375 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:42,611 ...that we cannot go to one single, solitary place 376 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,572 in the entire city of Boston 377 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,908 without running into some woman that you've had a fling with? 378 00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:50,286 Come on, you're exaggerating here. 379 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,288 At the market, at the movies, 380 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,040 when we got our blood test, for heaven's sake. 381 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,253 Well, what are we supposed to do, move? I mean, come on. 382 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,255 Excuse me. 383 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:05,134 Now, don't-- no, don't-- don't go-- 384 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,052 What are you so upset about? 385 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,597 I wasn't even dating you when I went out with Jill. 386 00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:11,974 That's when you were living with Frasier. 387 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,269 She lived with you? 388 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:19,940 Well, only briefly... 389 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,943 You said you'd never lived with anyone but me! 390 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:25,362 Yeah, perfect. That's good. 391 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,077 What are you doing? 392 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,746 I should have thought of this earlier. 393 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,791 Yeah. 394 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,544 What was that? 395 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:42,129 Frasier, what are you doing? 396 00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:46,258 Frasier, the door seems to be jammed. 397 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:47,968 Frasier? 398 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,346 Sam, open the door. 399 00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:51,722 Macanudo? 400 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,475 - Don't mind if I do. - Open this door! 401 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,727 You know, I don't think I can stand this caterwauling in here. 402 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:57,895 Why don't we go upstairs? 403 00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,521 Frasier, open up! 404 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:01,649 I've got all 13 episodes of I, Claudius on tape. 405 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,193 Great, man. I love gladiator flicks. 406 00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,364 Frasier, we are not amused!