1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,338
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,009
You missing something, Woody?

3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,303
Yeah. Well, I had
a $20 bill in my pocket.

4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,721
Now it's gone.

5
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,890
Say good-bye to that, Andy Jackson.

6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,601
See you later, Andy.

7
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,814
Boy, oh, boy.
Talk about your lucky days.

8
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,442
Just found 20 smackers
back there in the pool room.

9
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:26,610
To celebrate my good fortune,

10
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,112
I'm gonna buy a round drinks
for all my friends.

11
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,949
What are you gonna do
with the other 19 bucks?

12
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,995
Woody, that could be your $20 bill,
the one you lost.

13
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,581
Yeah. You know,
I was in the poolroom earlier.

14
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Wait a second. Let's be fair about this.

15
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Give me the serial number.

16
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Oh, come on, man.

17
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,130
Nobody knows serial numbers.

18
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:51,552
L21886119B.

19
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,932
That's amazing.

20
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,477
How'd you do that?

21
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,313
I memorize the serial numbers
on all my currency.

22
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Why?

23
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For just such an occasion.

24
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I tell you, though,
I pray every day I don't get rich.

25
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Oh, groom.

26
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Sweetheart,
we're going to have to decide

27
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,863
where we're going for our honeymoon.

28
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Where do you want to go?

29
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I don't know. Where do you want to go?

30
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I told you where I want to go. Tibet.

31
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Well, it's our honeymoon.
Of course we're going to bed.

32
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No, you wham-o. Tibet, the country.

33
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Thank you. Thank you very much.

34
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Sam, imagine getting up in the morning

35
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,469
and looking out
on the roof of the world.

36
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Look where we'd stay. isn't it quaint?

37
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Looks like where the dogs sleep.

38
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It is. The dogs sleep with us.

39
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You wouldn't want to freeze to death,
would you?

40
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Diane, I didn't sleep with dogs
when I was single.

41
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I'm not about to start now.

42
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,237
For goodness sake,
don't you want to taste

43
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,074
the exciting and fascinating things
that life has to offer?

44
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Nope. I'd rather marry you.

45
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- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm! Norm!

46
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,501
Mr. Peterson,
what do you say to a cold one?

47
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"See you later, Vera.
I'll be at Cheers."

48
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,006
You're looking unusually chipper today.

49
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,717
I'm feeling kind of chipper.

50
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,428
Is there any particular reason other
than the fact we live in a democracy

51
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,346
and sushi bars appear to be on the
decline?

52
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,975
Well, I was gonna tell Vera first,
but why break tradition?

53
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I just landed a great new job
at Masters & Holly & Dixon.

54
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,313
Oh, wonderful.

55
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It's one of the top CPA firms in Boston.

56
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,608
Yes, I hear that's
quite a successful firm.

57
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,361
You know, over half of their executives
require therapy on a regular basis.

58
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,739
- So here's my card.
- Oh, great.

59
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,158
- Just in case.
- Thank you.

60
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,576
It's a very impressive place.

61
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,495
They occupy the entire 25th floor
of the Boston Towers.

62
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They hired you?

63
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,957
Must have been the altitude.

64
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,584
Seriously, I'm sorry.

65
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,921
I hope this works out to be
sort a long-term arrangement for you.

66
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,383
Long enough anyway for
them to see you wear your other suit.

67
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,677
Very funny, very funny, you guys,

68
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:24,097
I'll have you know they gave me the key
to the executive washroom.

69
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,683
Did it come with a bucket and mop?

70
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,520
Laugh all you want, okay?
I think this is finally the job for me.

71
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,356
I've got a secretary,
I have an expense account,

72
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,401
a very ritzy office all to myself.

73
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,736
Good for you, Norman.

74
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,906
How about a round of applause
for our new executive?

75
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,704
I started late.
I didn't want to be impolite.

76
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- I'm really excited for you, Norman.
- Thanks.

77
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,712
I can tell by the way you're talking
this is the job

78
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,215
that's going to fire your enthusiasm.

79
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,134
- When do you start?
- About three hours ago.

80
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,764
What are you doing here?

81
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,641
I didn't want to appear overanxious.

82
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,559
No danger there, huh, buddy?

83
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,730
No, no. I'm on my lunch hour.

84
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,733
But you know,
I could be late if I wanted to.

85
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I've got free rein over there.
I happen to be my own boss.

86
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,780
So that's how you got the job!

87
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,908
Thanks for the sendoff, guys.

88
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,206
I hope you're all proud of yourselves.

89
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,583
Why? What did we do?

90
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:38,630
I think we could've been
a bit more thunderous in our applause.

91
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,341
Except for Woody.

92
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:46,304
Sam, didn't you see the hurt
in Norman's eyes?

93
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,473
He was seeking our support and approval.

94
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,644
It's his first day on the job,
and all we did was give him jibes.

95
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,145
Don't worry about it, sweetheart.

96
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,816
He's had hundreds of first days
on the job.

97
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,194
Diane's right.
It's obvious how much we mean to him.

98
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,029
I think we may have let him down.

99
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,781
Gee, I hope not.

100
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,116
Yeah, me, too.

101
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,911
Too late to do anything about that now.
Refill, huh, Sam?

102
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,249
It's not too late.

103
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,459
We could march <i>en masse</i>

104
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,129
down to Norman's office
and show him we're in his corner.

105
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,215
Sure. Perhaps buy the new hotshot
a little office warming gift.

106
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,675
Maybe a potted plant.

107
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- Good!
- Okay, hurry up. Let's get going here.

108
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Wonderful, Carla.
That's the kind of enthusiasm

109
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that's going to make Norman feel better.

110
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To hell with that yutz.

111
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I want to go downtown
and see some yuppie buns

112
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,104
in tight Italian suits.

113
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,900
Well, then, it's settled. We'll go.

114
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,819
Wish I could join you, but I've got
an appointment at 1:00.

115
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,156
What the hell. Mrs. Segal's
rather a compulsive cleaner.

116
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If I'm a little late,
maybe she'll tidy up the office.

117
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,704
- Give my best to Norm.
- Aren't you coming?

118
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,664
I got to take care of the bar here.

119
00:06:55,874 --> 00:07:00,378
Oh, Sam! We've got to show Norman
our impressive phalanx.

120
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,465
That's all right, honey.
He saw mine at the gym.

121
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And then there was this 1938 accident,
where the elevator plunged 86 floors.

122
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Get me out of this thing!

123
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:21,733
My! What an exquisite place
to come to work every day.

124
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,819
Have you ever seen
such sumptuous surroundings?

125
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,365
You obviously haven't been to the new
downtown postal annex, Diane.

126
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,745
Where's Woody? I hope he's not lost.

127
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,330
Gee, what are the odds?

128
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,750
2511. Here we are.

129
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:42,671
Damn! I got another one
of those carpet shocks.

130
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,632
Carla, if you'd walk like a lady,
that wouldn't happen.

131
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If I walked like a lady,
nothing would happen.

132
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Sorry I'm late.

133
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,436
Woody, couldn't you find a bigger one?

134
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,854
No.

135
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,150
You know, at the risk of sounding
self-congratulatory,

136
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,652
I think we're fabulous.

137
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:09,739
Just think how Norman
will appreciate this.

138
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:14,577
You know, I remember the first day
I worked at the Third Eye bookstore.

139
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:19,791
Ramu was explaining the difference
between psychic and occult.

140
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,376
Ouch!

141
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,922
Think we could get this carpet
for the bar?

142
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,676
All right. Everyone ready?

143
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,929
Surprise!

144
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,144
Don't you guys ever think about
maybe calling first?

145
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,229
Well, we couldn't find a phone booth.

146
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,981
Till now.

147
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,861
Did anybody ever see <i>Das Boot?</i>

148
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,864
What are you guys doing here?

149
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:55,744
We wanted to come down and celebrate
your first day on the new job.

150
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,662
Yeah, we brought you a gift.

151
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,998
Let me find the perfect spot for this.

152
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,130
There.

153
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,883
Don't forget to water it.

154
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,303
Thanks. I'll write myself a note, Woody.

155
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:21,144
So, guys, I guess I exaggerated
a little bit about the office.

156
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,607
But it's just 'cause you were
razzing me so much.

157
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,610
It's actually quite a big step
to have an office at all.

158
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,862
Many people in this firm
have to share an office.

159
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,074
Excuse me. I'm sorry.

160
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,868
Just set it right here. That's fine.

161
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,165
Let me guess-- Peterson.

162
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,042
- Right.
- I'm Thompkins.

163
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,336
Looks like we're office partners.

164
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:59,057
So, if you're looking for a secretary,
I'm available.

165
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,351
But I want you to know
I do not take shorthand,

166
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,895
I don't type, and I don't make coffee.

167
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,731
What do you do?

168
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,733
Hire me and find out.

169
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,779
Carla, I don't think he caught that.

170
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,864
Next time, try to be more obvious.

171
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,493
Okay. Let's let Norman get back to work.

172
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,037
- Thanks.
- Norman, keep up the spirits.

173
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:25,125
Remember-- no small offices,
only small people.

174
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,334
That's right.

175
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:27,877
Oh, my God. Look at the time.

176
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,713
If I don't get back right now,
Mrs. Segal will be shampooing the rug.

177
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,424
- Thanks a lot for the plant.
- Okay.

178
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,386
Wait! Wait! My supervisor!
Everybody hide.

179
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,931
- Peterson.
- Hi, sir.

180
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,809
What are all these people doing in here?

181
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,310
Well, they're new clients, sir.

182
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,231
We were holding a little impromptu
seminar on the tax laws.

183
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,276
So, in conclusion, folks,
I'd like you to file early

184
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,861
and... file out.

185
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,487
Right.

186
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,284
Thank you. New clients, sir.

187
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,995
- You're Thompkins, aren't you?
- Yes, sir.

188
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,580
Well, welcome aboard.

189
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,498
Pay attention.
You can learn a lot from this man.

190
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,333
Thank you.
That's very kind of you to say.

191
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,377
I was talking to you.

192
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,755
By the way, sir, I understand
you're a big Red Sox fan.

193
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,132
Yup.

194
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,217
My father has season tickets
right behind the dugout.

195
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:17,510
No kidding?

196
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:21,472
I'm usually so busy with work here,
I rarely get to use them.

197
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,474
Thompkins, let's have lunch.

198
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,101
Thank you.

199
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,354
That's a lovely tie
you've got there, sir.

200
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,440
- What, this ugly thing?
- Yeah.

201
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,609
- My wife bought it.
- How is the missis?

202
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,860
We're divorcing.

203
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,445
I hope you stick it to her, sir.

204
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,787
I just want to make sure you're okay.

205
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,582
Yeah, fine, great. Top of the world, Ma!

206
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,504
The first day at a new job
is always traumatic.

207
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:57,175
Look at me-- pushing 40, fat,
and starting over again.

208
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,345
- Norman, that's not true.
- Yes, it is.

209
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,431
- Yeah?
- I'm delivering supplies to the room.

210
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,226
- This isn't it the supply room. Sorry.
- It's 2511, right?

211
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,727
- Right.
- Then it's the supply room.

212
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,897
It may have been the supply room once,
but now it's my office.

213
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,357
What does it say on this invoice?

214
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,567
- 2511.
- Thank you.

215
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,114
See what I mean, Diane?
I just wasn't meant to be a success.

216
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,117
Norman, may I speak to you for a moment?

217
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,831
You make me sick.

218
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,209
You're a quitter, Norman.

219
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:34,379
No. You're worse than that.
You're a nonstarter. You don't even try.

220
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,465
You don't even try.
You sit around the bar all day.

221
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,759
You sit around your house all day.
You sit around here all day.

222
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,344
You sit around life all day.

223
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,846
How are you gonna feel someday at the
end of your life

224
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,141
when you're lying...
no, make that sitting...

225
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,018
on your deathbed...

226
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,605
...and you realize that the only thing
you've done in your life

227
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,775
is sit around
and watch people do things,

228
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,860
make things out of their lives?

229
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,196
Well, maybe you're right, Norman.

230
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,491
Maybe you're not meant for success.

231
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,995
Maybe you're meant
for exactly what you are--

232
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,246
Nothing.

233
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,748
Diane, you have no right
to say that to me.

234
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:20,466
Norman, I said those things to you
because I care.

235
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,511
You must care an awful lot about me.

236
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,640
Well, I do.

237
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:32,270
All of your friends care about you
an awful lot.

238
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,606
And we're tired of seeing you
give up so easily.

239
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,114
Maybe I won't
give up so easily this time.

240
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,076
Maybe those harsh, stinging,
offensive words of yours--

241
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,496
Words that I'll take to my grave,
by the way--

242
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,540
Maybe they finally struck a chord
with me, Diane.

243
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,877
- Norman, do you mean it?
- Yes, I do, Diane.

244
00:13:56,044 --> 00:14:00,214
Every place I've worked,
my name has been synonymous with patsy.

245
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,800
I think it's high time my name
stood for ruthless.

246
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,220
People may not like the new me,
but they're gonna respect the new me.

247
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,389
Diane, I want you to mark
this day on your calendar,

248
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,768
for today is the day the new me is born.

249
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,812
Happy birthday. Sign here.

250
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,439
I'm gonna tell the boss.

251
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,651
No, no, Norman. Norman, Norman.

252
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,446
Thank you, Mr. Springsteen.

253
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,163
- Well, it's a start.
- Yeah.

254
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,794
I was thinking while you were gone

255
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,755
it's not really fair to have you make
all the honeymoon plans,

256
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,132
so I went ahead and did them myself.

257
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:47,053
All you have to do is pack your bags
and set your dial for fun.

258
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,474
Oh, God. It's Niagara Falls.

259
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,601
No, it's not Niagara Falls.

260
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,396
That place is a tourist trap.

261
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,190
Are you ready for this?

262
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,942
Disneyworld.

263
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,530
You want to go to Disneyworld
for our honeymoon?

264
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:06,697
Oh, yeah.

265
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,741
Sam, I always thought
that would be someplace we'd go

266
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,701
when we have kids.

267
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,578
This is not just for kids.

268
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,540
This is for "children of all ages."

269
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,627
I mean, can you say
the same thing about Tibet?

270
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:23,548
Well, how can you compare
Disneyworld and Tibet,

271
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:27,135
where we might possibly
unravel the mysteries of life?

272
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,389
Well, there are lots of mysteries
you can unravel at Disneyworld.

273
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,015
For example?

274
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,394
All right, all right.

275
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:40,106
Why is it that Donald Duck
wears a top and no bottom,

276
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,775
whereas Mickey wears
a bottom and no top?

277
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:49,407
Well, it's because a duck's privates
are hidden by the feathers,

278
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,702
and a mouse's is... need I say more?

279
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,415
While you're at it,
why is it we've never seen Donald fly?

280
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,168
I mean, I've seen that damn duck
do the karaoke.

281
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:05,548
If Mickey's dating Minnie,
how come he has such a high voice?

282
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,842
Wait. Are you trying to tell me--

283
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,803
All right! All right!
We'll go! We'll go!

284
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,890
- Evening, everybody.
- Norm! Norm!

285
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,391
- Norman.
- Look at you.

286
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269
You look like the cat
that swallowed the canary.

287
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,480
Gimme a beer to wash him down.

288
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,066
You're in kind of late, me bucko.
How was your first day?

289
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,903
I tell you, I feel a lot better now
than I did this morning.

290
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,072
Diane, I took your advice.

291
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,116
I spent the afternoon jotting some ideas,

292
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,327
and I think they'll save the company
a lot of money.

293
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,038
Norman, that's wonderful!

294
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,290
I'm gonna pitch it
to my supervisor tomorrow.

295
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:42,126
I tell you, I'm a little nervous
about putting my butt on the line.

296
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,295
How do you think the line feels?

297
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,676
Norman, why waste time
with the supervisor?

298
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,262
He'll only take credit
for the idea himself.

299
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,056
Why don't you go right to the top?

300
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,350
Present your idea
to the board of directors.

301
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,186
I don't know. The thought of standing
there in a roomful of bigwigs

302
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,355
just gives me the cold sweats.

303
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,358
Boy, yeah, I can sympathize
with you there, Normie.

304
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,151
I'll never forget my first oral report.

305
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,363
- Sixth grade.
- Yeah. Boy, was I nervous.

306
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,115
I tell you,
I went to my father, and he said,

307
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,493
"Hey, just relax. You'll be fine

308
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:19,038
as long as you can imagine
the other kids in their underwear,"

309
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,289
Which is no big deal for me

310
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,959
because I'd gotten that far
with half the girls in class already.

311
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,002
Even then, huh?

312
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,964
Anyway, I was just describing

313
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,800
how they make maple syrup
by draining the sap from trees,

314
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,760
when I happened to look down and noticed

315
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,179
how nicely Cindy Van Rippen
had filled out.

316
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,182
- Oh, yes.
- Well, what happened next?

317
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:42,144
Well, I smiled at her.
And she smiled at me.

318
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:46,399
After my little speech, we stole
a few moments in the cloakroom.

319
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:50,027
No, I mean after they drain
the sap from the tree.

320
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,618
- I don't remember, Woody.
- Oh, great, Sam.

321
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,871
Get us all revved up and then
leave out the best part.

322
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:06,210
Norman, nothing takes the place
of personal support.

323
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,255
Therefore, when you're ready to make
your proposal,

324
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,632
I will be at your side.

325
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,801
Tell them that you've hired
a personal secretary

326
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,595
to assist you at your expense.

327
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,972
Diane, please, you've been
more than helpful already.

328
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:21,350
I don't need anyone to hold my hand.
I just need a little practice.

329
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,770
Normie, why don't you try it out on us?

330
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,022
That's a good idea, actually.

331
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,275
Oh, yes, it is good. Good, good.
Stand up here so we can all see you.

332
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:33,195
All right. Now, remember, guys,
this room will be a pressure cooker.

333
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,574
So just stay on top of me, okay,
really heckle me.

334
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,200
It'll help, okay?

335
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,371
Good morning, gentlemen.

336
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,457
What's good about it?

337
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,756
What time can you be there?

338
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:01,515
"Enjoy 58% growth. Cash flow.
Annual achievement no later than--"

339
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,309
Thank God. Thank God you're here.

340
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,313
Norman, don't worry, please.
Everything is going to be perfect.

341
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,982
I hope so.
I'm having a very tough time

342
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,234
picturing the chairman of the board
in his underpants.

343
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,446
- Oh, no.
- What? Now what? What?

344
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:18,407
Pierre forgot
the chocolate croissant I ordered.

345
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,992
Don't worry about it.
It wasn't that good.

346
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,873
That's a nice suit, Peterson.
Do they make it in your size?

347
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,378
Pay no attention to him.

348
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,631
Norman is making a proposal today.

349
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,174
The board meeting.

350
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,717
He's wasting his time.

351
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,969
Those stuffed shirts don't care about
anybody's ideas.

352
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,014
Why don't you just have the courage
to wish him well?

353
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,432
Why don't you take a flying leap?

354
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,102
<i>Touché.</i>

355
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:51,691
Now, listen...
I don't like to make predictions,

356
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,944
but you're going to be in the top
echelon of this company someday.

357
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:58,656
Your idea is so good,
they can't help but applaud it.

358
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,450
I hope you're right, Diane.
But we have a few minutes now.

359
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,786
I'm going to splash some water
on my face.

360
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,539
- Fine. I'll go prepare the coffee.
- Okay.

361
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,625
It's a special Viennese blend.
They're bound to be impressed.

362
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:10,835
Great, great.

363
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,295
For my part, I think I'd
like to get a second opinion

364
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,381
on this pastry, know what I mean?

365
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,498
Diane!

366
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,877
- It's-- it's gone.
- What's gone?

367
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,880
Well, my proposal, my career,
the pastry!

368
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:01,677
...immediately, you will enjoy
a 58% growth in cash flow,

369
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,387
and will achieve it no later
than the third quarter

370
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,014
of the next fiscal year.

371
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,682
Thompkins, the thief.

372
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,018
- Get in there and defend yourself.
- Damn right I will.

373
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,771
Thompkins, you idiot.
You completely ignored the obvious.

374
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,398
Our resulting tax liability
would cost us a fortune.

375
00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:18,402
Actually, sir, it's not my plan.
It's the new guy Peterson's, you see.

376
00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,030
Don't try blaming another man
for this garbage.

377
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:24,492
Now, stop wasting our time
and get back to work.

378
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:31,415
Just my luck.
I had to share the office with a moron.

379
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,502
Hey, sorry!

380
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:38,297
I'll give him this, though,
the man knows his pastry.

381
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,639
Jeez.

382
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:51,018
Now, Norman, please.
Now, don't let this faze you.

383
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,394
You have to keep pushing.

384
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:55,147
I know that this idea didn't succeed,

385
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:58,776
- but others will.
- No, Diane, a few moments ago,

386
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:02,029
I almost made the biggest mistake
of my professional life, okay?

387
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,740
And it was because I was doing
something that just wasn't me.

388
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,076
I'm not a go-getter.
I've never been a go-getter.

389
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,203
What's more,
I don't even want to be a go-getter.

390
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,121
I'm very happy right where I am.

391
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,084
I'm tired of all these people saying,
"Yeah, Peterson, you got to push,

392
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,253
you got to get ahead,
you got to make that goal."

393
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:18,838
I don't even want to make the goal.

394
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,840
I want to be a bench warmer, okay?

395
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,467
The world needs bench warmers.

396
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,053
I mean, if there were no bench warmers,
what would we have?

397
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,097
We'd have... cold benches.

398
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:31,183
A lot of cold benches, and the world
does not need that, Diane.

399
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:35,688
In this great pageantry of life,
Norm Peterson may be a motionless lump,

400
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,439
but he's a very damn good one.

401
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,609
Norman, I've never seen you
so impassioned.

402
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,653
That's because I believe in this, Diane.

403
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:46,323
Look, Norm Peterson is totally happy
being an anonymous cog

404
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,118
in the gigantic machinery of this firm.

405
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,621
I forgot, didn't you want to say
something at the meeting?

406
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,458
Just how delighted I was
to be part of the firm, sir.

407
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,836
We're glad to have you aboard,
Springsteen.

408
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:04,800
I'm home.