1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,421 Last time on Cheers: 2 00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,965 Hey, Sammy! Me and Eddie are getting married! 3 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,926 She's quite a catch, Ed. 4 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,553 Seems that Eddie and I picked the one day of the century 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,848 when all the planets and constellations are in perfect alignment. 6 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,184 So either we get married by 4 p.m. today 7 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,269 or we wait until the year 2042. 8 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,646 This is gonna be an interesting wedding. 9 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,148 The two most superstitious people in the world. 10 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,108 Hey, don't say that. It's bad luck. 11 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,278 Our love can conquer any bad luck that comes our way. 12 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,113 Hey, that's my mirror. 13 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,115 I mean it. Anthony and Annie moving in. 14 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:36,787 You don't wanna come and live in my little, tiny, overcrowded house. 15 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:37,788 Your ma hating me. 16 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,457 - I'm so happy to meet you. - Carla. 17 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,710 - Anthony hating you. - You're not my father and never will be! 18 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,504 - Twins. - I had twins once. 19 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,464 It was the happiest day of my life. 20 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,300 Every time one of these little piddling things came up, 21 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,843 I kept thinking you were gonna say, 22 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,638 - 'The wedding's off.' - The wedding's off. 23 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,062 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 24 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:06,108 - Mr. Peterson, would you like a beer? - No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass. 25 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,947 Man, you are looking at one sharp bargainer. 26 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:15,993 Not only did I get Carla and Eddie eight sterling silver place settings, 27 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:19,371 but I also got Bruce to throw in matching wienie-tongs 28 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,706 and a lemon-zester. 29 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:25,711 Oh, that's great, man, except the wedding's been called off. 30 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,506 So, what happened? 31 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,466 Eddie freaked out about being a father? 32 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,344 No. Eddie's mom met Carla. 33 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,513 - Hate at first sight? - Yeah, how'd you know? 34 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,682 Well, that's the "law" part of mother-in-laws. 35 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:43,020 So Eddie's not gonna marry Carla because his mother doesn't approve. 36 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,479 Yeah, I'll tell you, it's pathetic 37 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:47,608 to see a grown man so tied to his ma's apron strings. 38 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,527 Well, that reminds me, Mr. Clavin. 39 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,363 Your mother called and said she couldn't make it for dinner tonight. 40 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:54,865 Oh, great. 41 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,951 What am I supposed to do with that casserole? Just throw it away? 42 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:20,992 Mr. Malone, 43 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,578 remember that reception you talked me into? 44 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,706 Well, it seems that the bride is in my office 45 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,874 and she's having a little problem with the groom. 46 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,086 She wants him to die with festering boils. 47 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,298 It's just the usual prenuptial jitters. It'll be all right. 48 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,593 It will not be all right. I invited my boss. 49 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,847 And he's really excited about this. Now, if Mr. Drake shows up here 50 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,765 expecting a reception and there isn't a reception, 51 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,600 I'm gonna have egg all over my face. 52 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,769 Actually, you know, most complexion experts 53 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,730 swear by the old egg facial. 54 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,606 It tightens one's pores. 55 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,694 Although, yours look pretty tight to me. 56 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,824 I wanna talk to you for a minute. 57 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,952 Miss Howe, I think I can get this wedding back on track. 58 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,830 - Thank God. - Yeah, but I have one little condition. 59 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,291 You pull this off and you can have anything you want. 60 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,002 - Really? - Except that. 61 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:17,215 Actually, all I wanna do is get rid of these stupid uniforms. 62 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,884 Mr. Malone, ever since you have worked here 63 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,762 you've done nothing but whine about these uniforms. 64 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,430 Now, I put a great deal of thought into them, 65 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,182 and I happen to think they make a statement. 66 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,517 Oh, yeah. They say I'm a lima bean. 67 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,189 All right, fine, fine. You insist on keeping these uniforms, 68 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,483 then there'll be no wedding, no wedding reception, 69 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,943 and you and Mr. Drake can spend an intimate evening 70 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,113 watching 40 quarts of guacamole turn black. 71 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:46,077 - Fine, fine. Get rid of the uniforms. - Okay. Woody. 72 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,705 Get on the phone. Tell the church we're running a little bit late. 73 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,415 Cliff, see if you can catch up with Eddie there. 74 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:54,044 Norm, stay in the office and make sure Carla does not trash it. 75 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,254 Frasier, go pick up Carla's gown, will you? 76 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,964 Right. Oh, say, if anybody needs me, 77 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,258 just tell them I'm at Gown-O-Rama. 78 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,224 - That was all well and good. - Thank you. 79 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,559 How do you plan on getting the bride and groom back together? 80 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,186 I'm going to rely on my wits. 81 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,439 - Well, you're halfway there. - You better believe it. 82 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:19,361 Sam, Father Barry at Carla's church said we gotta hurry 83 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,031 because he's got two weddings planned after Carla's, a bake sale, 84 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,951 a slide show of the Knights of Columbus trip to the Holy Land, 85 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,744 and a CYO hootenanny. 86 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,081 - Thank you, Woody. - Sam? 87 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,377 I'm thinking of becoming Catholic. 88 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,756 We'll talk about it later. 89 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,678 - Hey, Sammy. Yeah, I got Eddie. - Great. Where's Mama? 90 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,847 I tipped the cabbie to take her back to the hotel. 91 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,640 No hurry to pay me back that buck. 92 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,019 I'm not gonna marry her, Sam. 93 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,313 I mean, I can't go against ma mère's wishes. 94 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,482 But maybe someday, after Mama gets to know her 95 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,817 and starts to like her... 96 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,819 What about the planets and the tea leaves? 97 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,822 If you don't marry her now, you're gonna have to wait until 2042. 98 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,408 Sam, it's no use. I mean, maybe Carla's right. 99 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,535 Ever since I saw her on our wedding day, 100 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,328 we've had nothing but bad luck. 101 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,163 Yeah, I happen to think that it's bad luck 102 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,624 to be a jerk to the woman you're in love with. 103 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,294 Now, come on, Eddie, just talk to her. 104 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,298 Okay, I guess I could just talk to her. 105 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,924 Great, great, great. Hold that thought. 106 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,135 - How's it going? - Pretty good, pretty good. 107 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,053 It better be or my butt's in a sling. 108 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,471 Is there room for two in there? 109 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,475 Eddie's arm. 110 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,144 Neck. 111 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,687 - How's it going? - Oh, not too bad. 112 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,606 I don't think we've broken anything vital yet. 113 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,900 - Thank you. - Eddie's foot. 114 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,276 - Sweetheart - Eddie's finger. 115 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,236 - Sit down. Hey, stop, stop. - Eddie's shoulder. 116 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,238 Would you give the guy a break, please? 117 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,199 He had to break a mirror, right? He had to spill the salt. 118 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,411 He had to thumb his nose to the fates and look what happened. 119 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,705 They turned him into a wuss. 120 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:56,291 The important thing is that the wuss came back. 121 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,710 Does he have a note from his mommy? 122 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,004 Oh, come on. Just talk to the guy. 123 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,340 I don't talk to spineless jellyfish. 124 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,800 All right, fine. 125 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,262 I'll just go out there and tell him to leave. 126 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,725 Hey. 127 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,313 Does he look really pathetic and cute? 128 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,525 Have you ever seen a puppy in the rain? 129 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:33,578 I guess I can let him off the hook. But first he has to come in here, 130 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,914 get down on his knees and sweat blood. 131 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,248 He was hoping you'd say that. 132 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,627 You're smiling. The wedding's on. 133 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,088 Oh, yeah, and this uniform is almost off. 134 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,548 Old Engineer Sammy's got the Matrimony Express 135 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,092 right back on schedule. 136 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,596 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, wait a minute, man, whoa. 137 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,014 Where are you going? 138 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,809 I can't face her right now. I mean, even if I did change my mind 139 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,477 and decided to stand up to Mama, 140 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,188 Carla would never forgive me for the way I ran out. 141 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,857 I mean, if I went in there right now, she'd tear my head off. 142 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:07,320 Come on, Eddie, now, I think you're underestimating Carla just a bit here. 143 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,989 Oh, you don't think she'll be mad? 144 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,740 No, I don't think she'll stop at your head. 145 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:14,035 Go on. Listen. She wants to forgive you. 146 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,414 All you two need is a few moments together in private. 147 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,958 Okay. But could we do it out here, 148 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,376 where there are plenty of witnesses? 149 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:24,087 All right. Okay. Just sit down right here and have a drink, relax. 150 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,880 If he even looks at the door, break his legs. 151 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,843 Sam, the wedding frock you ordered. 152 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,262 I got some pretty weird looks on the bus with this thing. 153 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,598 There was also one rather interesting invitation. 154 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,602 Sam, it's Father Barry. 155 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,147 The other wedding party's starting to stack up in the vestibule. 156 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:46,526 I can't talk to him now, man. I got to talk to Eddie here. 157 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,778 I just talked to Eddie. I gotta talk to Carla. 158 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,072 Carla? Carla. 159 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:56,119 Yeah, Father Barry? Listen, Sam can't talk right now. 160 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,414 But while I got you on the phone, can I ask you a question? 161 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,794 Do you have to pay any membership dues to be a Catholic? 162 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:11,301 I told you I wouldn't talk to him unless he comes in here begging. 163 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,095 Come on, Carla, we don't have time for this nonsense. 164 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,308 Hey, I got an idea. Get out of your clothes. 165 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,062 Oh, Sammy, any other time, I'd love to. But... 166 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,981 I just think that, you know, you're sweaty, 167 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,650 you're tired and maybe you'd like to change into something else. 168 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,819 Well, hey, like this, for instance. 169 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:33,948 - No way. - Oh, come on. Just try it on. 170 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:37,202 You know, see how it fits just in case you want to get married someday. 171 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,870 - Years from now, years. - Well, you know, 172 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,748 - I might not be pregnant then. - Right. 173 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,127 - Come on. - Oh, what the heck. 174 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,340 This might be the last chance I'll get to see what I look like in one of these. 175 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,884 - Yeah. - Besides, I'm out 36 bucks. 176 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,806 Eddie. Eddie. 177 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,351 Sammy, I know what you're doing here. 178 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:05,730 You think I'm gonna get all decked out like Miss Bride-of-the-Year, 179 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:09,359 take one look in the mirror and forget all about being mad at Eddie. 180 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,902 Then I'm gonna go out there 181 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,029 and Eddie is gonna take one look at me 182 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,989 and forget all about his mother. 183 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:19,119 And then, we'll march down the aisle and live happily ever after. 184 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,537 Am I right? 185 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,290 Yeah, that's basically it. You got a problem with that? 186 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,877 No, just checking. 187 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:29,838 Here I come. 188 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:41,432 Sam, do you really mean 'woo-woo" or are you just saying "woo-woo"? 189 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,434 No, no, I don't say "woo-woos" lightly. 190 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,854 How's that? 191 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,398 - Okay. - Look at you. 192 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,734 - Okay, let's give it a shot. - All right. 193 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,404 Sammy, zip me. 194 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,698 Well, I'll be darned. These things go up, too, huh? 195 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,081 Oh, Carla. 196 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,916 Oh, you look... 197 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,255 That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. 198 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,718 Oh, listen, let's get to the church. 199 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,928 We have to get married before 4:00. 200 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,972 Hot dog. 201 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,226 Care to help me with my pants? 202 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,819 Carla, it's your church. 203 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,488 - You tell them we're on our way. - Well, that's just it. 204 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:40,325 They had to go ahead with the other wedding and cancel yours. 205 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,328 I knew it. I knew it. 206 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,885 You're out of uniform. 207 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,566 Dear friends, you have come together in this church... 208 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,152 It sure was nice of the monsignor to let Carla and Eddie 209 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,696 get married here in the rectory chapel. 210 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,658 Yeah. It was kind of nice of us to buy all those raffle tickets too. 211 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,743 ...so we welcome two souls into one. 212 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,371 Good Lord, it's crowded in here. 213 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,457 But on the upside, it does satiate 214 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,960 any desire I might have had to visit Tokyo. 215 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,923 Edward, have you come here freely, without reservation, 216 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,217 to give yourself to Carla in marriage? 217 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,386 Edward? 218 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,805 Carla, where's Edward? 219 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,642 Carla? Where's Carla? 220 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:54,107 Excuse me, excuse me. Lady with a baby. 221 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,818 Excuse... Would you get off the dress? 222 00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,737 All right, all right, all right. 223 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,281 Crank it up, Father. 224 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,742 All the forces in the universe say we have to be done by 4:00. 225 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,120 - Do you, Edward Raymond, - Oh, no. 226 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,956 - Take Carla Maria Victoria - Hurry, hurry! Please hurry. 227 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,125 Angelina Theresa Apollonia... 228 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:16,379 Oh, rats! Why couldn't my parents have named me Judy? 229 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,853 Hey, here they come. 230 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,857 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. 231 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,402 Appearing for the first time anywhere, the happy couple, 232 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,321 Mr. and Mrs. Eddie LeBec. 233 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,037 That's a keeper. 234 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,249 Hey, guys, it's your wedding day. Show a little teeth here, all right? 235 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,751 I can't, Sammy. 236 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,795 We were pronounced man and wife at 4:01. 237 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,215 We might as well have been pronounced dead. We're doomed. 238 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,093 Music, music. All right, come on, you guys. 239 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,346 Think about all the wedding gifts you've got to open over there. 240 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,473 Yeah, I guess I should be grateful 241 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,059 Eddie didn't fall down the church steps and break his leg. 242 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:14,437 - How is it, anyway? - I think I just wrenched it a little. 243 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,649 You know, they don't look too happy to me. 244 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:19,901 No. 245 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,652 They do look married, though. 246 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,868 What's that ugly-looking thing? 247 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,330 It's not an ugly thing. It's a Wobbie. 248 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,125 What's a Wobbie, Webecca? 249 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,339 It's a Women of Boston Business Award. 250 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:45,551 I'm very proud of it. It happens to be very prestigious. 251 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,595 Thousands of women have won it. 252 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,059 What's it doing out here? You trying to impress your boss? 253 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,853 I'm glad you reminded me. I completely forgot he was coming. 254 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,647 Yeah, sure you did. 255 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,191 Hey, you know, every time Evan Drake's name 256 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,568 gets mentioned, you get a little red around the gills. 257 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,946 Do you have a crush on him or something? 258 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,116 I beg your pardon? He happens to be a married man. 259 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,910 Although, not happily. 260 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,706 Oh, you do have a crush on him. 261 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,583 How cute. 262 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669 Oh, Evan, Evan. 263 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,424 Great stuffed mushrooms, Cliff ie. 264 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,176 Well, try the Swedish meatballs. They're out of this world. 265 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,513 Try them together. Together. 266 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,975 Excuse me, gentlemen. 267 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,019 Do you plan on leaving any hors d'oeuvres for latecomers? 268 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,105 Hey, you snooze, you lose. 269 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,900 rumaki. Come on. 270 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,157 And now, folks, it's time for the traditional first dance. 271 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,242 And we all know who's going to start it. 272 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,872 Holy cow, it isn't me, is it? 273 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:01,836 Let's welcome the happy couple, Carla and Eddie, to the dance floor. 274 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,060 Hit me again, Harley. 275 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,979 Third time's a charm. 276 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,320 So where's your big-shot lover boy? 277 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,825 A, I told you he is not my lover boy. 278 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,746 B, the big-shot SOB is at a meeting. 279 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,874 C, choke on it. 280 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,627 Here's a happy pair. 281 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,338 - Say "cheeseburger." - No, not now. 282 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,715 All right. That was a good one. 283 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,426 Even with Miss Howe's eyes kind of gimpy like that. 284 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,222 Oh, look, look. We forgot about the dessert table. 285 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,349 And we call ourselves guests. 286 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,103 Ma, do you wanna trade partners? 287 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,814 Why not? I'm gonna die. 288 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,194 I'm gonna dance with my mother. All right? 289 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,281 How about a cup of coffee, huh? 290 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,116 Why would I do that? 291 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:18,496 Well, because I've seen a lot of ladies hit the champagne in my time. 292 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,831 One minute they're doing just fine. 293 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,458 The next minute, it kind of sneaks up on them 294 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:25,670 and they're doing all sorts of wild and crazy... 295 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,548 Why am I giving you coffee? 296 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,386 So, Eddie. 297 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,222 What's Mother Tortelli like in bed? 298 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,069 What are you looking at, pretty lady? 299 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,572 I'm looking at you. 300 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,074 Well, I'm looking back at you. 301 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,911 I think I'm beginning to see you in a whole new light. 302 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,748 Well, why don't you tell me what you see? 303 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,460 You have a really weird face. 304 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,469 Your eyebrows are growing together like a big, old, ugly caterpillar. 305 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,641 Oh, look, they're cutting the cake. 306 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,084 And now, as the hour draws late, 307 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,879 it's time for the bride to throw the bouquet. 308 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,506 Okay, come on. Come on, everybody. 309 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,842 You all ready? 310 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:55,968 Okay. 311 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,721 Heads up, you old maids. 312 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,350 Dr. Crane, a girl is supposed to catch the bouquet. 313 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,935 Well, then the girls should have been a little bit quicker. 314 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,021 Here, knock yourself out. 315 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,239 I think it's time for me to pack it in. 316 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,367 I don't think you're in any condition to drive, Miss Howe. 317 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,826 Let me give you a lift home. All right? 318 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:25,414 I don't know. I've never been alone in a car with such a hairy guy. 319 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,919 Are you sure you weren't in Planet of the Apes? 320 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,924 Can anybody else please take me home? 321 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,719 Hey, there's room in our car. You can sit on my lap. 322 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:42,306 Darling, you're married now. You don't have a lap. 323 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,061 Come on. Do you think I'm so ugly? 324 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,398 I'll let you get a bag and put it over my head, all right? 325 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,358 Just a minute. Let me get my bag. 326 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,568 And yours. 327 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,906 I'm not crazy about the way that girl flirts. 328 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,368 And now, folks, as the lucky couple gets ready to embark 329 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,870 on their new life together, let's all throw some rice, 330 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,706 the symbol of fertility. 331 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,630 I can't go out of here, Eddie. 332 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,841 - Why? - No, it's too dangerous. 333 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,552 - I'm okay. - Who are we trying to kid here? 334 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,848 We're living in the shadow of the curse we brought on ourselves. 335 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,683 I can't go on with this. 336 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,976 Oh, come on, Carla. 337 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,730 No, no, no. I think maybe we should get an annulment. 338 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,065 Oh, would you two stop it? 339 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,483 I can't believe... 340 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,485 This should be the happiest day of your lives 341 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:39,029 and all you've done is moan and groan all day long. 342 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,364 I mean, come on. 343 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,825 It's one thing to play along with this superstition stuff 344 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,660 for, you know, some fun. 345 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,163 But you're letting it interfere with your happiness here. 346 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,581 You two are wonderful. 347 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,750 You've got everything in your life to look forward to. 348 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,918 Please, please, come on, trust me. 349 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,588 Nothing bad is going to happen. 350 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,384 You got my personal word on that. 351 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,261 I mean, superstition, it's for the birds. 352 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,929 Just go on with your normal life. 353 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,639 - Woody, do you mind? Just... - Sam. 354 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:06,849 Fine, go ahead, answer it. 355 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,935 Probably just somebody who wants to know what time the bar closes. 356 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:12,897 We close at two. 357 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,734 Eddie, it's for you, some guy from the Bruins. 358 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,527 Maybe you ought to... 359 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,697 Probably just want to congratulate me on my wedding. 360 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,699 Yeah, right, that's it, that's it. 361 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,785 Hello. 362 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,454 Oh, hiya, Frank. Yeah, how's it going? 363 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,539 Yeah. 364 00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:39,882 Okay, yeah. 365 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,092 Yeah, thanks a lot. 366 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,179 Goodbye, Frank. 367 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,308 Do I smell a bonus? 368 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,811 They cut me from the team. 369 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,562 They're going with the youth movement. 370 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,357 They tried to trade me but nobody wanted me. 371 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:58,859 I'm sorry, Carla. 372 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,695 I guess all the superstitions finally caught up with us. 373 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,907 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 374 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,285 You know, I can blame a lot of things on superstition. 375 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,789 But you weren't the greatest goalie in the world, honey. 376 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,041 What are you saying to me, Carla? 377 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,961 Well, you know, at the end of last year, you were losing it. 378 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,755 And now you're older and your reflexes are shot. 379 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,467 Well, thanks a lot. I'm feeling a lot better already. 380 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:28,556 And if that wasn't because of superstition, 381 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,935 then maybe the twins aren't bad luck either. 382 00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:36,021 I mean, could it be possible 383 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,525 that I'm just having twins because the egg split? 384 00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:48,576 And maybe your mother hates me because she's stupid. 385 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,996 And Anthony hates you 386 00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:55,457 because he takes after his no-good, rat-faced father. 387 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:59,920 And all those things that we thought were bad luck 388 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,756 had nothing to do with superstition. 389 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,675 It was just... 390 00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:06,969 ...life. 391 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,931 Unfortunately, it happens to be my life. 392 00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:15,394 What the heck? 393 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:18,063 I'm married. 394 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,232 And in love with a great guy. 395 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:25,946 So I guess that evens things up. 396 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,824 No, it doesn't. 397 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:32,536 But it makes life worth living. 398 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,039 No, it doesn't. 399 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,626 But it's something. 400 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,629 So let's get on with it. 401 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,381 What do you say, hubby? 402 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,969 I say let's get on with the honeymoon, eh? 403 00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:54,475 See you at 2 a.m. Somebody's got to work in this family. 404 00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:58,729 Hi, I'm Mrs. Eddie LeBec. What'll you have?