1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,424 Sam, I found an apartment. 3 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,051 Hey, good for you, Woody. 4 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,220 It's got everything I ever wanted. 5 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,429 What's that? 6 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,057 A living room and a bedroom. 7 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,727 Dare to dream there, Wood-man. 8 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,854 Isn't this in Chinatown? 9 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,482 I don't think so, Sam. 10 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,943 Well, yeah, I think it is. 11 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,737 Did there seem to be a lot of Chinese restaurants around? 12 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,657 - I guess so. - They have a lot of signs 13 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,659 hanging hither and yon in Chinese there? 14 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,202 Yeah, come to think of it. 15 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,746 Yeah, lots of Chinese people walking around, I suppose. 16 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,582 Yeah, but that could just be a coincidence, you know. 17 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,503 I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll call my landlady. 18 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,673 If anyone would know, Mrs. Chung would. 19 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,999 So, Woody, how's your own apartment working out? 20 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,293 Oh, great, Mr. Clavin. 21 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,170 - You know my landlady, Mrs. Chung? - Yeah. 22 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,589 She's teaching me a new word in Chinese every day. 23 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:14,885 The trick is to work it into the conversation smoothly. 24 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,553 Say, Carla. 25 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,389 Seen any interesting mun chos lately? 26 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,144 What're you babbling about, Festus? 27 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,024 "Mun cho" is the Chinese word for doorknob. 28 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,780 Here's a couple of mun chos right here. 29 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,199 Hey, Bobby. 30 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,534 Any new twists in the pretzel business? 31 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,912 Hey, I haven't heard that one before. Right, Sammy? 32 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,040 So you want the usual four cases? 33 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,209 - Yeah. - Excuse me. 34 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,796 - I'm the new manager here. - Congratulations. 35 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,006 So, that's four, right, Sam? 36 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,967 I handle all the ordering around here now. 37 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,511 Really, Sam? 38 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,847 So how many cases do you want? 39 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,058 - How many did he say? - Four. 40 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,601 I want five. 41 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,062 She's the boss. 42 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,231 I'll call you later. 43 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,901 I saw that little wink, Mr. Malone, and I don't appreciate it. 44 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,821 I'm tired of you undermining my authority. 45 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,949 Now, I want deliverymen to deal with me and me only. Is that clear? 46 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,618 You certainly put me in my place. 47 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:25,372 Speaking of my place, why don't you grab your negligee and join me? 48 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,917 As disgusting as that offer is, 49 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,877 I think I'll have to decline. 50 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,714 And I'm taking your picture down. 51 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,258 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. You don't understand here. 52 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:39,678 I mean, it's a tradition around here, all right? It's always hung there. 53 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:42,013 Mr. Malone, I'm afraid things are different now. 54 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,807 This isn't your bar anymore. 55 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,518 "Things are different now, this isn't your bar..." 56 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,438 Don't do that. 57 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,814 I hate that. 58 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,108 What? I just, I bit my tongue, that's all. 59 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,697 Way to go, Sammy. 60 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,910 Give me a Scotch, Woody. 61 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,621 Sure thing, Dr. Crane. Hey, by the way, 62 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,374 when you go to the restroom, I want you to notice that the 63 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,835 mun chos have been shined. 64 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,924 I'm hardly concerned about doorknobs at the moment. 65 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,844 Hey, you understood me! 66 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,597 Yes, it was only a matter of time. 67 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,896 Well, doesn't anybody care to know what I am concerned about? 68 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,314 No. 69 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,317 Well, Fras, you know, normally I wouldn't give a rat's tochis 70 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,985 about anything that happened to you, 71 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,696 but the last guy I waited on threw up on my leg. 72 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:43,867 Now, this couldn't be any worse, right? Shoot. 73 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,076 It's my love life. 74 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,163 I'm gonna go find the guy that threw up on my leg. 75 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,373 What's up, Frasier? 76 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:54,377 Well, Sam, this morning Lilith and I had the worst fight we've ever had. 77 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,422 I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I even considered striking her. 78 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,382 It wasn't completely without provocation. 79 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,842 She did throw a chair at me. 80 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,055 It's just, it's the same argument we've had all the time lately. 81 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,933 Only, this time, she issued an ultimatum. She... 82 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,727 She said we ought to get married or we're through. 83 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,480 Well, Frasier Crane does not cotton to emotional blackmail. 84 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,025 Frasier, propose to her. Get it over with. 85 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,236 The truth is she's got her hook in you. 86 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:22,364 Well, Sam, I'm not a fish. I'm a man. There is a difference. 87 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,449 I know that. A fish would stand a chance. 88 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,576 Trust me. Propose. 89 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,998 Couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about there, Fras. 90 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,752 Yeah, we tried like hell, but we heard it anyway. 91 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,089 Well, it's not that I don't care for Lilith. 92 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,008 It's just that I fear I've tied myself to her because, 93 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,678 well, you know, I haven't been all that successful with women. 94 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,847 For some reason, I don't think they find me sexy. 95 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,766 - Come on. That's not true. - Oh, you know, Fras, 96 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,811 I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers. 97 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,107 Maybe subconsciously I've settled for Lilith 98 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:01,111 because she's the only woman that ever liked me for... 99 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,487 Well, not my brain. 100 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,990 Frasier, please... 101 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,492 I know of plenty of women, they find you attractive. 102 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,244 - Look, I know you're just being nice. - No. 103 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:12,163 But, you see, I'm not really trying to shop around... 104 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,084 I mean, Lilith Sternin is a good woman. 105 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,296 Strong, durable, reliable. 106 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,506 She'd make a helluva radial tire, actually. 107 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,345 Oh, I'm just too young for a commitment. 108 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,307 You see, I haven't been with all that many women. 109 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,226 Especially ones with a caboose like that. 110 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:37,063 Well, Fras, talk about a small world. You know, it's common knowledge 111 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,191 around here that Miss Howe finds you tres attractive. 112 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,985 Oh, now, stop it. She does not. 113 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,738 Gentlemen, gentlemen. Am I blowing smoke here, 114 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,364 or am I giving the man the straight skinny? 115 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,116 - It's true. - He's right, Frasier. 116 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,118 Rebecca likes the cut of your jib. 117 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,580 Well, the Cranes always have been known for their jibs. 118 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,167 No, seriously, it's outlandish. 119 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,085 I mean, the woman hasn't even given me an indication. 120 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,881 I don't know, Fras, you know, I think you'll find 121 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,800 where there's smoke, there's a fire. 122 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,720 - Could I have a club soda, please? - Oh, sure thing, Miss Howe. 123 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,407 Thank you. 124 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,540 Were we right or were we right? 125 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,501 I mean, there must be some mistake. 126 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,087 - Mistake? - She was coming on to me? 127 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,131 No, she was trying to wipe something off her lip, right? 128 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,969 Doc, Doc, she talks about you all the time. 129 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,930 Yeah, yeah. Look, look, if you don't believe us, 130 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,516 just go over there and ask her out and you'll have your answer. 131 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,688 All right, I'll do it. It's not like I haven't had any encouragement. 132 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,482 I can "come hither" as well as the next guy. 133 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,039 Is this the men's room? 134 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,834 It's around the corner. 135 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,585 Terribly sorry. 136 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,006 Well, I've laid the groundwork. 137 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,633 I can just follow that up tomorrow. 138 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,844 I'm running late for dinner so I better get back. 139 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,470 Lilith goes into a blinding rage 140 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,390 if I'm not home the minute the meat hits the platter. 141 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,434 Guys... 142 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,186 Thanks for being here for me. 143 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,772 My compadres. 144 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:49,988 No, no, no. 145 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,323 That was really... That was a terrible thing to do. 146 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,661 Yeah, yeah, I wonder why we did it. 147 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,330 Because we're a bunch of nimrods. 148 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,513 "Your hostess, Rebecca Howe." 149 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,140 What is this supposed to be? 150 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,808 Something to identify me to people 151 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,103 who might have questions, comments or suggestions. 152 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,689 I saw one in the supermarket and thought it was a good idea. 153 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,109 I've seen headcheese in the supermarket too but I don't frame it. 154 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,530 I guess what I'm saying is, I love it. 155 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,452 I don't want to hear another word about this, Mr. Malone. 156 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,538 I know you have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. 157 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,248 Whoa, wait a minute. I resent that. 158 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,502 I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. 159 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,466 That's exactly what I'm talking about, you give me no respect. 160 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,511 Now, maybe you took this job lightly when you were in charge, 161 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,596 but I take it very seriously. 162 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,390 And as for you, Mrs. LeBec... 163 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,227 ...I would think... 164 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,355 ...that as another working woman... 165 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,858 ...that perhaps you would lend me some support... 166 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,947 ...instead of always sniping behind my back. 167 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,699 What do you say we just wipe the slate clean here, 168 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,202 and start a new era of mutual support? 169 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,246 - Wonderful idea. - Absolutely. 170 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,457 I don't think we're ever gonna be able to look at you the same way again. 171 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,964 Good evening, gents. 172 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,173 Frasier! 173 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,509 Carla, how about some suds there? 174 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,469 Hey, Fras, what's up? 175 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,555 Well, my spirits, for one thing. 176 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:43,476 I've just told Lilith I want my freedom so that I can pursue the fair Rebecca. 177 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,062 Wait a minute now, wait. 178 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,898 You dumped Lilith because of what Cliff said? 179 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,025 What I said? You're the one who brought it up. 180 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,278 Gentlemen, there's plenty of credit for both of you. 181 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,406 You two opened my eyes, made me realize there are other fish in the sea. 182 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,200 So what did Lilith have to say when you flushed her? 183 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,787 Well, I don't actually know yet. 184 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,039 I was gonna tell her face to face, 185 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,375 but then I thought that an eloquently written letter 186 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,961 would be a bittersweet reminder of what we had together. 187 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,380 - You chickened out. - Precisely. 188 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,341 Well, to the hunt. 189 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,647 - Yes? - Hello, Rebecca. 190 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,527 Why do I suddenly feel nervous as a schoolboy? 191 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,780 Well, let me come directly to the point 192 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,700 by telling you that you couldn't have chosen a more opportune moment 193 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,910 to declare your feelings. 194 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,370 Let me assure you the feeling is mutual. 195 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:48,416 I've just recently rid myself of an entanglement. 196 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,085 I find myself free to ask you if you'd like to join me for dinner. 197 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,880 Who are you? 198 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,508 Oh, my God! What have I done? 199 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,012 - Leaving so soon? - Yes, Woody. 200 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,932 I've gotta convince the woman I love I'm not a complete ass. 201 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,683 Good luck. 202 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,904 Oh, thank God. 203 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,406 What was that, Tootsie Roll? 204 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,201 I said, thank God I'm home. 205 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,328 I couldn't agree more. 206 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,919 How was your day at the office? 207 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,797 - It was fine. How was yours? - Delightful. 208 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,133 Here, I'll just make us a couple of drinks, then we can start relaxing. 209 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,928 Where is the envelope you left for me on the table? 210 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,554 Envelope? What envelope? 211 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,100 Frasier, it's wicked of you to tease me. 212 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,645 I saw it, but wanted to save it to open while you were here. 213 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:53,856 It's probably either tickets to the ballet or the symphony. 214 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,359 Or perhaps one of those cards, with a handsome couple 215 00:12:56,526 --> 00:13:00,196 walking hand in hand on the beach at sunset, that I cherish so. 216 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,992 You know, that is exactly what it was. 217 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,661 Good Lord, I guess I'm becoming quite predictable. 218 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,872 You know, I'll just have to think of another way to enchant you. 219 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,124 I've got it. 220 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,670 Look, it's a flock of seagulls! 221 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,464 Let's have our drink. 222 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,926 Here's to the most beautiful woman in the world. 223 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,724 Let me guess, you read the letter. 224 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,561 Yes, I read the letter, you licentious quack! 225 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,688 And what facile tripe it is. 226 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,358 "We both need time to grow, to develop as people." 227 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,735 Who is the slut? 228 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,236 She's no slut! 229 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,865 What slut? 230 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,161 Well, I mean, look, it was all a mistake. It's just a big mistake. 231 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,247 You bet it is, mister. You want your freedom? 232 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,750 I'll give you freedom... from your teeth! 233 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,084 No, Lilith! 234 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,378 Not the Royal Doulton. 235 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,923 You're right. 236 00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:04,093 I realize, when I contemplate the destruction of property, 237 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,180 that I'm overstepping the bounds of decorum. 238 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,892 If there's any hope of our salvaging any of our relationship, 239 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:15,897 we must remain calm and discuss this in a rational, truthful manner. 240 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,816 All right, I'll be honest with you. 241 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,111 There was a woman, but I am a man of honor. 242 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,864 I did not betray you. Nothing happened. 243 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:30,286 You broke off our relationship for the possibility of a relationship? 244 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,205 A mere fantasy? 245 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,831 How flattering. 246 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,585 All right, I'll be honest with you. 247 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,131 You see, I only wanted to spare you. 248 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:46,094 This woman is a sex-starved Circe, 249 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,430 who drew my ship onto the rocks and there I foundered. 250 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,474 What's her name? 251 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,018 Well, let's just, you know, leave her name out of this. 252 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,731 Frasier, are we going to clear the air or continue to hold back? 253 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,566 Unless you identify this woman, 254 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,444 doubt and suspicion will fester in my consciousness. 255 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,155 Every woman I meet will provoke the question, "Is this the one?" 256 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,784 "Is this the one? Is this the one? Is this the one? Is this the one?" 257 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,994 It's Rebecca Howe, she runs Cheers now. 258 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,955 So now we know the slut's name. 259 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,834 Please, Lilith. 260 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,838 Don't you think you can forgive me? 261 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:23,965 I don't know. 262 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,093 At this moment my feelings for you are ambivalent. 263 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,511 I need to sort them out. 264 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,015 I'm going to go out and wander the streets aimlessly. 265 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,143 I'll take my usual route. 266 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,857 You know, I have an idea, Popsicle. 267 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:46,279 Why don't I run upstairs and make us a nice, warm, soothing bath? 268 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,406 Well... 269 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,701 ...Mr. Bubble does always cheer me so. 270 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,288 Once begun, it's half done. 271 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,426 Are you sure this is okay with Miss Howe? 272 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:11,471 Woody, she loves this kind of stuff. 273 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,764 I mean, this is good, wholesome humor. 274 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:18,644 In fact, I bet she gives you a raise for doing such a good job. 275 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:20,938 Oh, don't stop. 276 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,565 I already saw it. 277 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,985 And I must admit I haven't laughed so hard since junior high. 278 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,654 I helped. 279 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,247 - Mr. Malone. - Yeah? 280 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,125 I want this nonsense with my picture to stop. 281 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,169 I did you a favor by hiring you back, 282 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,087 and this is not a very nice way to repay me. 283 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,882 You're right, you did do me a favor, and I'm gonna do you one. 284 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:52,261 I'm gonna give you a tip on how to deal with people who work for you. 285 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,013 Lighten up a little bit. 286 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,224 I mean, you gotta make some compromises. 287 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,101 I see. You want me to hang your picture back up. 288 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,353 - Right. - Done. 289 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,021 Whoa, whoa, whoa, that was easy. 290 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,441 Wait, let's try some more compromises here. 291 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,320 I want to sleep with you 25 times. 292 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,990 But you don't want to sleep with me at all, am I right? 293 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,618 - Right. - Okay, so what's half of 25? 294 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,538 Your IQ? 295 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,709 Wait, wait, please. 296 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:30,424 I'm a little sensitive about people making fun of my intelligence. 297 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,884 - I'm sorry. - That's all right. 298 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,886 But I wasn't making fun of your intelligence. 299 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,096 Good. 300 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,014 I was making fun of your lack of intelligence. 301 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,149 Cliff ie, girl-fight, 12 o'clock high. 302 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,652 Rebecca Howe? 303 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,115 You and I are both mature women, 304 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,326 and I think we should handle this openly and with civility. 305 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,329 Believe me, I could be doing you a very big favor. 306 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,582 Frasier is not an easy man to live with. 307 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,251 He's obsessively compulsive about neatness. 308 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,713 The sex is good, but he pouts unless you compliment his performance. 309 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:12,633 Fortunately his male ego can be satisfied with a simple, 310 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,510 "Thank you, Conan." 311 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:24,270 I don't know who you are, and I don't know who Frasier is, but I do... Conan? 312 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,690 You really don't know Frasier, do you? 313 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:28,983 No, I don't. 314 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,235 God, I'm such a fool! 315 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,863 How could I let him do this to me? 316 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,282 It's all right, it happens to everybody. 317 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,243 He made up this whole story just to avoid committing to me. 318 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,912 And the worst part is, he's going to get away with it. 319 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,497 They always do. 320 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,541 Yeah, men are such a pain. 321 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,793 I have someone who's very special to me, 322 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,755 but he wouldn't notice me if I set fire to my hair. 323 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,132 Him? 324 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,263 No, definitely not him. 325 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,557 I prefer the Fortune 500 type. 326 00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,518 One who owns blocks, not one who plays with them. 327 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,231 Look, they're flirting with me. 328 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,109 Well, I really do have work to do. 329 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,487 Perhaps we can have lunch together sometime. 330 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:15,780 I'd like that. 331 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,615 - Lilith. - Lilith. 332 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,909 - Well, good night. - Good night. 333 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,122 Mr. Malone, are you developing a tic? 334 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,749 That was a wink. 335 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,793 Then you're developing into a tick. 336 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,091 And stop looking at my rear end. 337 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,134 Lucky guess. 338 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,971 Lilith, thank God you're here. 339 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,225 You haven't confronted Rebecca yet, have you? 340 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,726 - Hardly. - Good. 341 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,520 How did you know where I was? 342 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,814 Well, when I realized you hadn't come upstairs, 343 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,357 I toweled off and then... 344 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,734 ...suddenly it dawned on me, 345 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,737 that little firebrand's gone down to Cheers to fight for her man. 346 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,532 See, I think it's best that I do this myself. 347 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,951 I think next week's a really good time. 348 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,203 You did have an affair with this woman, didn't you? 349 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:05,579 That is what you told me. 350 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,250 - Of course. - Well, then end it right here and now. 351 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,168 I need to know that it's over. 352 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:15,256 You've got to cut this off before she falls more deeply in love with you. 353 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,427 And you've got to let me watch. 354 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,933 You know, I've got an idea, let's go to Maine. 355 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:32,732 Lilith, Lilith, Lilith. 356 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,860 The left-hand side of my body's gone completely numb! 357 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,447 - You know what that means? - Yes, you're stalling. 358 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,911 - It's down the hall to the left. - Thank you. 359 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,497 Miss Howe, let me introduce myself. 360 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,874 I'm Lilith Sternin. 361 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:54,628 You don't know me, but of course this man needs no introduction. 362 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,255 He only needs a conscience. 363 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,550 Frasier has something he wants to say to you. 364 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,804 Listen very carefully and do what you must do. 365 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:12,646 I'm... I'm sorry, Rebecca, but it's time it was over, I hope you can forgive me. 366 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,983 - Now let's go to Maine, Lilith. - Frasier, don't be so heartless. 367 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,651 She deserves better than that. 368 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:24,116 No, no, please, please, don't try to articulate your feelings. 369 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:28,996 Just let me say my little piece, then I'll be out of your life forever. 370 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,708 Now, just remember the part about not saying anything. 371 00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:38,547 I know it sounds like a cliché 372 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:41,967 to say that this is going to hurt me more than it does you, 373 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,012 but it doesn't make it any less true. 374 00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,056 For you see, it is I 375 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:51,185 who will be condemned never again to see your haunting eyes, 376 00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:55,481 your silken skin, your shimmering hair. 377 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,818 But it's time that we part. 378 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,154 Farewell, sweet Rebecca. 379 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,243 How will I live without your passionate kisses? 380 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,495 You won't have to! 381 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,793 Frasier, for God's sakes, she was only joking. 382 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,795 Well, so was I. 383 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:21,340 Come on! I was just playing along. 384 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,384 I'm a dead man. 385 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:25,761 Sweetheart, buttercup! 386 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,013 You were just kidding, weren't you? 387 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:30,558 My joy! 388 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,394 Lilith! 389 00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,230 Please, all I can say is... 390 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,816 Please have mercy on me, I... 391 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,152 But it's the Gods' honest truth, 392 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,446 Rebecca and I did not have an affair. 393 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,448 Well, I wanted to, but she wasn't sure. 394 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:48,701 Small point, but she wasn't even sure who I am. 395 00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,912 I didn't really want to. 396 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,748 Well, my body wanted to, but my brain didn't. 397 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,751 Well, part of my brain did, but, well, that part's dead, and... 398 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:05,342 I guess what I'm trying to say is... 399 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,392 Will you marry me? 400 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,185 Make me the happiest man alive? 401 00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:20,065 This is obviously a ploy to get yourself out of the ridiculous situation you're in. 402 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,400 And the answer... 403 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:25,321 ...is yes, my steed, yes! 404 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,325 Are you... You're serious? 405 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,037 Yippee. 406 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,124 Hey, everybody, we're gonna be married! 407 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,379 Someday. 408 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,548 No, soon. 409 00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,928 Hey, we finally got those lovebirds together, huh? 410 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:52,348 Yeah, just needed that little push, I guess. 411 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:56,977 Matchmaker, matchmaker Make me a match