1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,296 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:07,716 Let's just concentrate on the left side, okay? 3 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,010 - Yeah. - We have a boy. 4 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,513 No, no, no, wait, it's a girl. 5 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,933 It's a boy again. This is weird. 6 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,310 All right, maybe it's a girl. I-- 7 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,021 You're still trying to figure out what Carla is, huh? 8 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:28,237 No, Cliff, we're trying to find out what sex my babies are. 9 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,989 If the ring goes back and forth, it's a boy. 10 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,367 If it goes around in a circle, it's a girl. 11 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,412 And if it just dangles there doing nothing, it's a Clavin. 12 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:43,168 I can tell you something we used to do on the farm. 13 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,213 We'd take a fresh-laid chicken egg and we'd put it on a spoon 14 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,757 and hold it over the woman's stomach. 15 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:52,052 If it dipped down, it was female, if not, male. 16 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:56,014 Yeah? So how often did you predict the sex of the babies? 17 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,684 Never, this was to predict the sex of the chicken. 18 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,146 You take a spoon, right? And you hold it over... 19 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,676 Good afternoon, everybody. 20 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,637 Sam, you got room for one more toss pot? 21 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,013 Yeah. 22 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,015 - Let me have a beer, will you? - You betcha. 23 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,475 How you been there, Frasier? 24 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,810 You know how it is for a psychiatrist this day and age. 25 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:28,732 Divorces, hopelessness over financial situations, rampant paranoia. 26 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,275 Thriving, never better. 27 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,945 Oh, and get this. I just heard a little bit of information 28 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,447 about someone with whom we're all acquainted. 29 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,491 Is it juicy? 30 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,910 Well, yes. 31 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,082 - Could it embarrass someone? - Oh, most definitely. 32 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,334 - Is it me? - No. 33 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,960 Spill it. 34 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:54,508 Well, I had lunch today with an ex-colleague of mine 35 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,593 who attended the University of Connecticut 36 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,514 at the same time as a certain Miss Rebecca Howe. 37 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:04,309 Now, it seems that this particular Rebecca Howe 38 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:09,564 was known as, well, let's just say it, the party girl on campus. 39 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,528 Our Rebecca? Miss Granite Panties? 40 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,700 The one who goes through life with her knees bolted together? 41 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,827 - There's gotta be a mistake. - Yeah. 42 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,329 So does anyone know what college ours went to? 43 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,874 It wouldn't surprise me one bit if it was Rebecca. 44 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,127 No, no, I mean, it's those quiet, reserved types 45 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,379 who, when properly stimulated, 46 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:36,967 turn into your average churning hunk of burning funk. 47 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,099 Cliff ie, can you tell me exactly at what point in your life 48 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,852 you came to that big fork in the road where reality took a left 49 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,353 and you hung a sharp right? 50 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,525 Excuse me, is there a Cliff Clavin here? 51 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,319 Would Mr. Clavin know what this is about? 52 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,196 Yeah, I'm a neighbor of his, Jim McNulty. 53 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,116 - His mother said he'd be here. - All right, just a minute. 54 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,827 Mr. Clavin, are you here for a Jim McNulty? 55 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,121 Yeah, yeah, sure. 56 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:09,332 You know how it is. Some guys in bars don't like you to know they're here. 57 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,294 Hey, Cliff, remember me? 58 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,297 Yeah, yeah, Jim McNulty, you own the house down the corner. 59 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,632 You ever gonna take those Christmas lights down? 60 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,844 Yeah, as soon as a weekend goes by you don't have another garage sale. 61 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,932 Listen, I-- I've been going around to good neighbors like yourself 62 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,893 hoping I can get your support. 63 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:31,313 Well, what am I looking at here? 64 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,566 It's a petition agreeing not to sell out to these big developers 65 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,402 who've been trying to buy up our houses and build mini malls. 66 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,821 Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo. 67 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:43,241 You know, new development only increases property values. 68 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,161 I wouldn't sign that petition if you beat me senseless. 69 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,456 It may be too late, but let's give it a try. 70 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,294 You know, I'll never understand people like you. 71 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,088 You got no conscience, no sense of community. 72 00:04:57,255 --> 00:05:00,175 No interest in keeping our neighborhood beautiful. 73 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,010 If you wanna beautify the neighborhood, 74 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,762 why don't you stay indoors? 75 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,680 Yeah, at least I don't live with my mother. 76 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,350 I don't blame you, I've seen your mother. 77 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,519 Yeah, my mother's a saint. 78 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,312 - Yeah, Saint Bernard. - Oh, yeah? 79 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,819 Forget it. 80 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,410 Yeah, I'm out of luck. Somebody's already using the pool table. 81 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,706 The lady in question. 82 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,542 Sam, find out where she went to college. 83 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:34,751 Yeah, okay. 84 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,045 - Afternoon, Sam. - Hey, boss. 85 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,005 - How's business today? - Oh, pretty slow. 86 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,716 Me and the guys are just sitting around talking about 87 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,928 where everybody went to college. 88 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,055 You were? 89 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:51,643 Well, I was wondering what it'd be like to go to college. 90 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,313 Well, picture a place with 20,000 people 91 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,232 all acting the way you do. 92 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,111 Sounds like fun. Listen, 93 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,114 where did you go to college? 94 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,075 The University of Connecticut. 95 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,583 Hey, am I missing something here? 96 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,668 No, no, no, not at all. 97 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,254 We're just such big fans of their football team. 98 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:23,174 You know, the Fighting insurance Salesmen. 99 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,605 Boy, oh, boy, don't you just love this Yorkshire pudding, Ma? 100 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,065 It's a real delicacy. 101 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,318 The English didn't think so. 102 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,361 Actually, Yorkshire pudding was invented 103 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,239 in the late 1770s during a beef shortage. 104 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,452 A person could be given a little bit of beef 105 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,412 and soak up the gravy with the pudding, 106 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,956 thereby fooling his stomach into thinking 107 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,376 he was having a fuller dinner than he actually was. 108 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,797 And you wonder why nobody asks us out anymore. 109 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,009 - So how was your day? - Okay, Ma. 110 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:11,181 Oh, our neighbor Nut Butt McNulty stopped in Cheers today. 111 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,808 He was circulating some kind of petition. 112 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,102 - The one to stop development? - Yeah. 113 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,437 I signed it. 114 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,734 - You did? - Well, who in his right mind wouldn't? 115 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,779 Besides you, of course. 116 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,157 But, Ma, we're for progress here. 117 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,202 Clifford, if we don't stop these people, we could lose our home. 118 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,664 Well, it's probably about time we got out of this rattrap anyway. 119 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,584 Clifford, this rattrap is where you, 120 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,420 for want of a better term, grew up. 121 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:48,134 I think it's time somebody looked at the scrapbook. 122 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:53,556 Oh, come on, Ma, not the scrapbook. 123 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,686 Yes, Clifford, the scrapbook. 124 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:03,650 Misty watercolor memories of the way we were. 125 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,572 Oh, look at this one. 126 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:13,827 No, Mom, I'm not gonna look. You're not gonna get me this time. 127 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,622 Oh, we had fun that day. 128 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,376 Ma, it is not working. 129 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,753 Oh, I'd forgotten this one. 130 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:27,590 This has got to be the handsomest picture of you I ever laid eyes on. 131 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,306 Which? 132 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,225 Oh, Ma, come on. That one-- 133 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:40,311 My ears are even covered with acne. 134 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,858 I'm your mother, Clifford. I'm looking at your soul. 135 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:51,239 Oh, hey. Look, that's me, sliding down the old banister. 136 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:55,368 I always thought you spent entirely too much time doing that. 137 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,497 It was fun. 138 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:04,085 Oh, look, there's your favorite hiding place in the closet. 139 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:08,131 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - You used to be in there for hours. 140 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,429 It's because you always locked the door on me, Ma. 141 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,725 Well, look at the result. You're a very polite young man. 142 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:25,273 Oh, now, there's where we planted the elm tree in the yard. 143 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:29,110 - Yeah. - Oh, you named him Elmer. 144 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:33,948 And look at our Elmer now. So tall and strong. 145 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,283 Just like my boy. 146 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,203 Yeah, yeah, I can remember raising him from a sapling, Ma. 147 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:42,332 I even carved my first slingshot out of his branches. 148 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,877 And cried every winter when the leaves fell. 149 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:50,423 Yeah, yeah, you know, that tree is like a brother to me, Ma. 150 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:55,428 Just imagine, you know, something that I planted and I nurtured 151 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,598 is gonna be there for future generations to enjoy. 152 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:02,560 Unless they chop it down to put up a Jiffy Lube. 153 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:07,023 Come on, Ma. They wouldn't do that, would they? 154 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,443 They'll do that as soon as look at you. 155 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,535 Oh, Ma. No, they won't. 156 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,914 No, they're not gonna cut down my tree. 157 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,292 And they're not gonna touch this house either. 158 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,503 And they're not gonna take our land. 159 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,339 That's my boy. Where are you going? 160 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:36,511 Oh, well, it may sound a little bit silly and all, Ma, 161 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,180 but I'm gonna go out there and sit in my tree. 162 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,350 You go right ahead. 163 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,022 Never fails. 164 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:56,656 Well, interestingly enough, Yorkshire pudding was invented 165 00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,034 in the 1700s during a beef shortage. 166 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,205 All right, stop everything. I've got a major news flash. 167 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,792 I just had lunch with Miss Howe's former college classmate, 168 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,045 and it seems that she had a nickname at UConn. 169 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,255 Give, give. 170 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,632 Well, he wasn't sure how she came by this appellation, 171 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,510 but it seems that at some point during her little sojourn there, 172 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,930 she became known as Back Seat Becky. 173 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,354 Boy, what do you suppose that means? 174 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,318 - Woody, what that means is-- - Cliff, Cliff. 175 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,613 Why don't you let someone who's been there tell it. 176 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:41,326 Wood, she likes to do her cushion-pushing on four wheels. 177 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,162 Miss Howe? Really? 178 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,997 You know, back where I come from, 179 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,041 we used to say something about girls like that. 180 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,668 - What? - Let's date them. 181 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,259 Oh, lookit here. 182 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,471 Something tells me I'm gonna be completely obnoxious about this. 183 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,560 - What's so funny? - We were talking about nicknames. 184 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,063 You know, different funny nicknames that people have. 185 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,191 - Did you ever have a nickname? - As a matter of fact, no. 186 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,943 Really? Nothing, huh? 187 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,905 Not a Sparky or Lefty or Bubba or something? 188 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,323 Sorry. 189 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,117 Guys, we ought to give Rebecca here a nickname. 190 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:26,079 You know, something that kind of fits her personality. 191 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,165 - All right. - You know, kind of dignified, 192 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,667 kind of business-like. 193 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,336 Kind of reserved. 194 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,088 Let me think. 195 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,548 Anybody? 196 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,133 Back Seat Becky. 197 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,518 Gee, that-- That works for me. 198 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:53,147 I kind of liked Bubba. 199 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,025 Oh, God. 200 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,736 And you probably know the whole sordid story. 201 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,113 Well, actually, no. 202 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,200 - Well, that's because there isn't one. - Come on. Don't worry about that. 203 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,078 Listen, the truth is, I'm looking to buy a new car 204 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,997 and I need an expert opinion. 205 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,836 Now, what model do you think has the best rear shocks? 206 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,966 Have you driven a Ford lately? 207 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,431 I guess she gives new meaning to the term "four on the floor." 208 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:34,272 All right, all right. if you insist on an explanation, I will give it to you. 209 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,274 You know how sometimes as a joke 210 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,985 you call someone the exact opposite of what they really are? 211 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,195 Well, I was really shy in college, 212 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,866 so my friends thought it would be a huge gas to call me Back Seat Becky. 213 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,911 Well, it's simple, it's logical, 214 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,456 and we don't believe it for a second. 215 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,250 Hey, wait a minute, I believe her. 216 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,461 Us virgins have to stick together. 217 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,965 I told you the truth. 218 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,802 If you don't wanna believe it, fine. Just believe whatever you want. 219 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,473 All right, here's the real truth. 220 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,477 I was very aggressive in college, a real go-getter. 221 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,563 I never took a back seat to anyone. 222 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,651 No, no, no. 223 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:28,493 No, Mr. Cronin, I'm not listening. The case is closed. 224 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,871 I'm not taking any offers, and that's final. 225 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,748 I'm sorry if I've upset you, Mrs. Clavin. 226 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:38,544 Clifford, would you tell this gentleman, please, we're not selling our house. 227 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,005 I was just trying to make an offer on your house, 228 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,548 and your mother won't listen. 229 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:46,511 Well, that's because she has got more sense in her bony little frame 230 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,221 than you have in your little finger. 231 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,808 Reverse that. 232 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:56,020 You are not gonna run the Clavins off our land. 233 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:59,649 I don't care what you offer us. You just can't put a price on love, 234 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,820 family, or on memories. 235 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:08,074 Take it or leave it, 250,000. 236 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,702 Two hundred and-- Oh, my God, we're rich. 237 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,506 But, Ma-- Ma, you can't do this. 238 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,550 A Clavin cannot be bought off. 239 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:29,137 I'm only a Clavin by marriage, Clifford. 240 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:35,309 Oh, guys, you gotta help me. She's gonna go through with this. 241 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,520 Well, why don't you offer to buy the place back? 242 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:42,066 Sammy, say, I don't have enough money for a down payment. 243 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:45,319 Oh, wait a minute, can either of you guys lend me $50,000? 244 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:49,574 I'm sorry, Cliff, you never paid me back that million from last week. 245 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,077 Well, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, Mrs. Clavin. 246 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,454 Thank you. 247 00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:01,586 There, there, there! Now what are you gonna do? 248 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:06,507 Well, first I'm going to take this contract down to the office. 249 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,259 Then I'm gonna call my wife 250 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,928 and ask her what I'm supposed to pick up at the grocery store. 251 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,810 Oh, Ma. But after all we've been through together. 252 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,855 Just last night you were saying how much the house meant to you. 253 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,358 Last night I was poor, tonight I'm not. 254 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:28,863 I never thought I'd have the chance, but now I can go to Florida. 255 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,407 Florida? Oh, for crying out loud. 256 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,618 Who would ever wanna live in that stink hole? 257 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:38,789 Clifford, I'm doing this as much for you as I am for myself. 258 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:42,001 You're 39 years old. It's time to cut the cord. 259 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,462 Oh, Ma, I'm not leaving that house. 260 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,715 - Clifford-- - I am not leaving that house. 261 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,052 Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to. 262 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,681 Oh, yeah, fine. Yeah, go off by yourself. 263 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:59,143 See how you like it. Yeah, after a week of cooking your own meals, 264 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,979 doing your own dishes, washing your own hair, you'll be back. 265 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:18,454 Oh, well, well, well, if it isn't the ultimate driving machine. 266 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,541 Okay, okay, I give up. 267 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,210 Look, I'll tell you the real story, 268 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,587 but it's kind of personal, so can we do this in private? 269 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,506 Sure, you bet, you bet. 270 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:32,051 Say, if you're too embarrassed to say something, feel free to act it out. 271 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,058 I was living in a women's dorm on campus, 272 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,936 and one night a fire broke out. 273 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,354 Well, I didn't have time to change, 274 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,107 so I had to run out into the parking lot wearing only a teddy. 275 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,110 Black, but see-through. 276 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:53,823 All of a sudden I was caught in this fire engine's headlights. 277 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,616 I didn't know what to do. 278 00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,037 I looked all around and suddenly I spotted this open convertible. 279 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:03,583 I climbed and I slunk down into the back seat. 280 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:09,130 Suddenly, this hulking fireman was standing over me. 281 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,965 He was magnificent. 282 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,802 I looked in his eyes. 283 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:18,306 I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too. 284 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:23,352 I peeled off his black rubber raincoat. 285 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,855 He ripped off my teddy. 286 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,445 I can still feel the heat on my flesh... 287 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,618 ...but it wasn't the fire, it was us. 288 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:44,915 When it was over, I opened my eyes and I noticed we weren't alone. 289 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,128 Others had watched and not said a word. 290 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,383 And that's why I'm known as Back Seat Becky. 291 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,427 Satisfied? 292 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,152 Thanks for the story, Carla. Here's your 10 bucks. 293 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,661 Yeah, the $20 one would've killed him. 294 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,330 So wait a minute, wait a minute, 295 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,624 why do they call you Back Seat Becky? 296 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,918 That'll cost you a hundred. 297 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,171 Hey, you know, you're kind of a pig. 298 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,466 Maybe we can be friends. 299 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:42,473 Excuse me, I've got to find Norm Peterson. 300 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,225 Mr. Peterson know what this is about? 301 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,268 Never mind, there he is. 302 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,979 - Norman. - Hi. 303 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,273 - You've got to help me, I'm desperate. - Why? 304 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,567 Cliff's locked himself in the house. 305 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,861 No, I've tried everything. He won't budge. 306 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,240 Ours is the last house on the block scheduled for demolition. 307 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,700 And that's today. 308 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,035 I'm at my wit's end, you've got to help me. 309 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,288 I'll talk to him, I'll see what I can do. 310 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:10,084 Oh, thank you, Norm. I hope he doesn't try anything crazy. 311 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,044 The last thing on earth I want to see 312 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,839 is my son's face on the 11 o'clock news. 313 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:18,259 There's a whole city out there that agrees with you. 314 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,350 --The world's biggest ass! 315 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:13,230 Clifford, now take off those silly handcuffs. 316 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,899 I can't. 317 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,400 I flushed the key. 318 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,863 Norman, go outside and see if you can find some tin snips. 319 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:24,116 Ask for Biff. He loaned us the hardhats. 320 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,790 Clifford, sometimes I really worry about you. 321 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:32,917 Look what they did to Elmer. 322 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,591 I'm sorry, dear, but what can we do? 323 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,468 Come on, Ma, you're the one that taught me 324 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,929 that if you believe in something, if you really want it, 325 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,806 then you're just gonna have to fight for it. 326 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,017 The house is sold. They're gonna tear it down. 327 00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:52,561 Well, then I am going down with it. 328 00:21:54,188 --> 00:22:00,569 Clifford, does this house really mean that much to you? 329 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:03,447 Yeah, Ma. Yeah, it really does. 330 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:11,831 Then it means that much to me too. 331 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,459 I don't know what we'll do. 332 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,044 We'll find a lawyer. 333 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:21,340 We're gonna fight this together. We'll save our home. 334 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,760 - Oh, Ma, together? Really? - Really, son. 335 00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,685 Wait, wait, wait! What are you gonna do with that thing? 336 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,770 Oh, I'm cutting your handcuffs off. 337 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,856 Well, that's a little bit dangerous. 338 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,941 No, no, I'm wearing a hardhat. 339 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:41,694 Heck with the hardhat. Get that thing away from me! 340 00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,237 Cut the post. 341 00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,447 Isn't that a little drastic? 342 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,908 No, Ma, I think we're gonna remodel in here anyway. 343 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,803 There. I think we're gonna beat this thing. 344 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,680 So do I. 345 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,640 Now, we're going to find a lawyer. 346 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:16,896 But first I wanna treat you boys to a Popsicle. 347 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,568 What was that? 348 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,237 Probably just a squirrel on the roof. 349 00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,284 Big one. 350 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,788 Ma, go! 351 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:02,900 Imagine, we got a quarter of a million for this dump.