1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,171 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:09,593 - Barkeep, pour me a beer. - Normie, flimflam alert. 3 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,638 - Hey, guys, how you doing? - Pretty good, Harry. Good to see you. 4 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,515 It's been a long time. How long's it been? 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,392 Well, two to ten with time off for good behavior. 6 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:22,022 Oh, boy, I need change for this 50. 7 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,983 You need change? Maybe I can help you, huh? 8 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,111 - Great. - Hey, hold it, hold it. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,489 Oh, come on, guys, give me a break. 10 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,908 - I'm a reformed man. - Oh, yeah? 11 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,911 Well, maybe you wouldn't mind if we monitored this little transaction? 12 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,622 - Yeah. - Wouldn't mind at all. 13 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,292 Okay, you got 50 bucks. 14 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,962 Here's one, two, three, four, five-- Norm, what time is it? 15 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,631 - Eleven. - Eleven? Twelve, 13, 14-- 16 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,592 Gee, my watch must be fast, I got 11:25. 17 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,511 Twenty-six, 27, 28-- 18 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,263 Cliff, you have not aged a day. 19 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,139 - How old are you? - Thirty-nine. 20 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,933 Thirty-nine. Forty, 41, 4-- 21 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,686 Wait. You can't be that old. When were you born? 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,563 - '47. - Forty-eight, 49, 50. 23 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,523 - There you go, barkeep. - Thank you. 24 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,025 - Good to see you, guys. - Yeah. 25 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,028 Hey, Sam, long time no see. 26 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,242 - What was Harry the Hat doing here? - He just came in for a beer. 27 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,370 And some change. 28 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,405 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 29 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,740 How's life treating you? 30 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,784 It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't. 31 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,539 Boy, I'd love to, man, but I don't have a dime to my name. 32 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,249 My boat sank and everything went-- 33 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,335 Yeah, I know, bottom of the Caribbean. 34 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,338 What is that, the 17th or 18th time we heard that speech? 35 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,800 - Oh, hey, Normie. - Yeah? 36 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,677 That was great meat loaf last night, eh? 37 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,472 It was, wasn't it? You know, Cliff, I've been meaning to talk to you. 38 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:04,017 I don't mind you staying with us for a little while till you get your new place, 39 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,728 but it's beginning to be a little bit of a problem for Vera. 40 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:11,483 The dishes, the bed, the way you leave the bathroom in the morning. 41 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,944 You gotta start leaving something for her to do, pal. 42 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,240 She wants to spend time with me. 43 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,870 Booze, Woody, and quickly. 44 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,415 - What's the matter, Dr. Crane? - Oh, I'm devastated. 45 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:30,252 I need something expeditious and brutal to numb my sensibilities 46 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,379 and blast me into sweet oblivion. 47 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,966 - How about a boilermaker? - Make it a mimosa. 48 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,595 What's got you so upset? 49 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,848 Some college professor has just published an article 50 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,058 that refutes everything I said in my last paper. 51 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:48,562 Sounds like a shootout at the cuckoo corral. 52 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,149 What could motivate an honored and distinguished colleague 53 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,277 to launch a personal attack like this? 54 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,070 Well, now, maybe it's just a, you know, 55 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,239 honest difference of opinion between scholars. 56 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,491 Oh, goose poop, Sam, the man's a yahoo. 57 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,371 Hey, Sammy. 58 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,958 You wanna see what makes Rebecca's loins ache? 59 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,169 - Sure. - Well, he just walked in. 60 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,255 It's the great and powerful Evan Drake. 61 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,382 - See to my table upstairs. - Yes, sir. 62 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,344 She's skipping the thrill rides at Sammy Land for that? 63 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,892 While I think of it, take care of that telex to Paris. 64 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,393 First thing tomorrow. 65 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,396 - Now. - Yes, sir. 66 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:35,233 - What's she see in him? - Money, power, prestige. 67 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,278 Yeah, but I'm several inches taller than him. 68 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,364 Sam Malone. 69 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,034 - Evan Drake. - How do you do? 70 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:47,120 Been looking forward to meeting you. I was a big fan of yours. 71 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,955 Any fan of mine is certainly welcome here, 72 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,416 especially one who could fire me like a shot. 73 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,212 - What can I get you? - You got some 20-year-old Scotch? 74 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,924 No, we got some pretzels that have been around for a while here. 75 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,426 - How about a Dewar's, huh? - That'll do it. 76 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,846 So, Mr. Drake, 77 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,265 things are going pretty good at the old bar. 78 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,268 Well, I'm glad to hear that. We sank a lot of bucks into it. 79 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,145 Boy, don't talk to me about sinking, man. 80 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,481 - I lost my boat and-- - Yeah, I heard. 81 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,739 I remember watching you pitch, Sam. 82 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,741 I'll bet you got a lot of great stories, huh? 83 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:28,119 Well, yeah, I got a million of them. Hold still, I'll be right there. 84 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:31,039 Mr. Drake, they're ready for you upstairs now. 85 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,250 I'll tell them to wait. 86 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,336 You know how people are always catching you naked 87 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,714 when you don't want them to? Well, this time... 88 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,633 Wait a second, just settle an argument here. 89 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,803 How much do you figure a guy like that pays for his socks? 90 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,638 And I don't wanna talk to anybody... 91 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:51,476 Oh, now, I've seen those at Barneys. They're about 75 a pair. 92 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,146 Even I pay a dollar for mine. 93 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,736 So there I am in the locker room 94 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,823 signing the game ball for this guy buck-naked. 95 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,535 I tell you, I'll never forget his name because it was so unusual. 96 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,120 Ueberroth. 97 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,998 Peter Ueberroth, the baseball commissioner? 98 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,041 That's where the story kind of falls apart. 99 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,461 I'll be right back. 100 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,882 - Where you been? - I had to change a flat. 101 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,592 Mr. Drake's here. 102 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,844 Carla, don't even think of joking about that. 103 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,846 Hello, Mr. Drake. 104 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,557 Oh, my God. I didn't know you'd be here. 105 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,561 I look messy. Close your eyes. Not you, Woody. 106 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,108 An attractive woman. Little jumpy, though. 107 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,737 Yeah, but she makes it work somehow, doesn't she? 108 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,448 You know, some of the guys down at corporate have asked her out, 109 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:47,908 but she always shot them down. 110 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,327 You tried your luck with her yet? 111 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:54,497 Oh, well, now I have a rule about not dating people I work with. 112 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,208 - Struck out, huh? - Every time. 113 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,713 Yeah, hey, you know, 114 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,841 some of the guys down at the office think she's a-- 115 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:08,219 - What? - A ladies' lady. 116 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,560 Oh, no, no. I can't believe it. 117 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,562 I'm so sorry, Mr. Drake. 118 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,441 I would have been here sooner, but I was working on my car. 119 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,411 Well, I got a lunch partner. 120 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,957 Well, you know, it was really nice to see you again, 121 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,668 even if it was just for a short while. 122 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:43,046 Oh, by the way, I'm hosting a little party Friday night 123 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,799 for some of the key people. I would love it if you'd come. 124 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:50,095 Oh, Mr. Drake, I'd-- I'd-- I'd really love that. 125 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,515 Eight o'clock, my club, black tie. 126 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,393 Yeah, here's the address, and bring a date. 127 00:07:57,394 --> 00:08:01,523 Or a companion or whatever. Sam. 128 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,783 I wonder what he meant by "a companion or a whatever." 129 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,827 Who knows? 130 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,746 What's so funny? 131 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,959 Well, it seems that the love of your life there 132 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:25,255 thinks that because he's never seen you date anybody, that maybe you, 133 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,549 well, prefer ladies. 134 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:33,847 - Well, you set him straight, didn't you? - Based on what? 135 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,686 God, I can't believe this. 136 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,188 He's all I ever think about, and now he thinks that I'm-- 137 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,108 Yeah, it's a nutty world, isn't it? 138 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,530 You know something, though, I'll bet you could change his mind real quick 139 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,657 if you were to show up at his party 140 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:58,580 just crawling all over this incredibly good-looking, hot, macho stud. 141 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,917 - You, for instance? - You recognized the description. 142 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,255 Look, Sam, just because I put my work before my social life 143 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,258 does not mean I don't have boyfriends. I have boyfriends. 144 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,510 I could pick up that phone and have a dozen dates for Friday night. 145 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,929 Yeah, but could you get one as great-looking as I am? 146 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,347 Blindfolded, gagged 147 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,850 and with both hands tied behind my back. 148 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,899 We were just talking about a party Friday night. 149 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,404 Sammy, where is it and what time should I be there? 150 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,411 - Good evening, Sam. - Hey. 151 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,581 Say, can I get a glass of water? 152 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:47,587 - Got the hiccups, huh? - Yes. It's merely psychosomatic. 153 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,966 I guess I'm still upset about that journalistic stab in the back. 154 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,885 Hey, you ought to put a bag over your head. 155 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,012 No, no, I'd look ridiculous. 156 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,932 I'm just gonna do what my mother always taught me. 157 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,315 Oh, yeah, you're right, the bag would look silly. 158 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,861 - There. - Hey. 159 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,822 Oh, damn. 160 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,619 Wow, Miss Howe. 161 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:23,331 You look pretty enough to take to a barn dance. 162 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,999 Thank you. 163 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,421 Sam, when I'm gone tonight, I want-- 164 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:36,427 - Why are you wearing a tuxedo? - Why does Superman wear a cape? 165 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,889 To rescue people. 166 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,643 - This is your big party night, isn't it? - Yes. 167 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,728 He did tell you to invite somebody, didn't he? 168 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,981 Yes, and I did, an old boyfriend, Ryan. 169 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,400 - Oh, really? - Yes, and it wasn't an easy decision. 170 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,609 Yeah, bet not. 171 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,487 Thought about asking Steve, but he had a modelling gig in New York, 172 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,365 and then Jean Pierre, he's such a bore. 173 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,077 Keep humming now, keep humming. 174 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:04,664 No-- Keep it up. Keep humming, come on. 175 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,544 I think it worked. 176 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,299 Frasier, I'm telling you, you should put a bag on your head. 177 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,845 Carla, I'm not putting any bag on my head. 178 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,598 - Oh, give me the damn bag. - Come on. 179 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,394 What else I've found works is putting a lemon in your mouth. 180 00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:29,480 Wait a minute, you can actually get a whole lemon in your mouth? 181 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:34,903 Well, young man, let's take a trip over to Mr. Wizard's laboratory. 182 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,368 Woody, what's this message? "Urgent, see Woody." 183 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,747 Oh, right. 184 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,832 Ryan from the escort service called, 185 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,461 said there was a mistake in the booking, he couldn't make it tonight. 186 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:54,631 Said to be discreet about it. That's why I wrote the note that way. 187 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,971 Sweetheart, can you help me with my cuff links? 188 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,435 Sam, you are not going with me, no way. 189 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,187 An escort service? 190 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:12,565 You couldn't get a date from an escort service? 191 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,151 I am not going with you. 192 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,821 There are a lot of people that hang out here that I'd rather be seen with. 193 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,872 Dr. Crane would probably enjoy a stylish evening with refined company. 194 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:32,252 I'm cured. I think I'm cured. I think I'm cured. 195 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:36,464 Just remember now, I don't go all the way on the first date. 196 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,403 Do you think that's her? 197 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,114 This is ridiculous. 198 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,242 Listen, why don't you let me freshen your drink up there 199 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,910 and I'll find out if that's his wife. 200 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,831 I'm not even thirsty. Don't be obvious. 201 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,213 Do that again there, will you, partner? 202 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,881 Nice party. 203 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,509 - Oh, glad you like it. - Yeah, yeah. 204 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,721 I guess I was way off base about Rebecca, wasn't I? 205 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,597 - Oh, yeah, way off, way off. - Yeah. 206 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:31,019 On the way over in the car, she was all over me like a cat in heat. 207 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,065 Interesting. 208 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,693 Say, I haven't met your wife there. Is that...? 209 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,780 Oh, no, that's not her. She's in Bora Bora. 210 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,158 Visiting family? 211 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:52,081 Actually, we're separated, Sam. 212 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:56,669 Oh, that's too bad, because she's missing a heck of a party here. 213 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,796 Well, thanks a lot. 214 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,344 - Well? - She's in Bora Bora. 215 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:09,599 - They're separated. - I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. 216 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,602 You know, I gotta tell you, I'm a little bit confused here. 217 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,521 The red sauce is for the shrimp and the mustard's for the egg roll. 218 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,940 That's not what I meant, but thanks. 219 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,443 Now, I was just wondering, 220 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,278 why haven't you made a play for this guy? 221 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,155 I mean, how long you been carrying a torch? 222 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,449 It's not a torch. What a silly expression. 223 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,118 - I am not carrying a torch. - All right. 224 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,329 Two years. 225 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,917 Two years? You haven't dated? 226 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,713 You haven't done anything with anybody for two years? 227 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,842 My God, what happens to a person's body? 228 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,260 You haven't given a clue? 229 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,430 You didn't tell him how you feel or anything? 230 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,768 Oh, sweetheart, you gotta tell him tonight 231 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:57,063 before you explode or something. 232 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,733 I can't. I wouldn't know what to say. 233 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,027 Well, I'll tell you what, 234 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,738 let's rehearse it right here, just the two of us. 235 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,574 - You really think it'll work? - Absolutely. 236 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,284 Just pretend that I'm Mr. Drake here 237 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,037 and you finally got me alone and you're gonna tell me. 238 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,789 Okay. 239 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,999 Okay. 240 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,421 - Mr. Drake-- - No, wait. Evan. 241 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,592 - Evan-- - No, no, with feeling. 242 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,304 Evan. 243 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:35,977 Yeah, that's good, that's good. Now run your hand up my thigh here. 244 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,396 Wait a minute. 245 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,607 No, trust me, guys think that's charming. 246 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,276 I just wanna leave. 247 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:48,114 No, hey, listen, you're never gonna find a better time than this. 248 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:51,159 I mean, he just separated with his wife, he's here alone, 249 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,035 we're at a party, you look terrific. 250 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:56,789 Now, call me crazy, but this could be the perfect moment. 251 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,291 - You're right. - Yeah. 252 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,210 I have to seize the moment. 253 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,379 There you go. 254 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,048 Good girl. 255 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,013 Mr. Drake? 256 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:16,642 - Yes, Rebecca? - Take me. 257 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,398 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm sorry. 258 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,359 - Sam, I think she needs to go home. - No, I don't need to go home. 259 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:26,903 Good night. 260 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,578 - I'm humiliated. - I know, come on. 261 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:40,041 I'm disgraced. I'm gonna kill myself. 262 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,878 I still think that thigh thing would have been charming. 263 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,262 Cheers. 264 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,308 Oh, hi, Mrs. Peterson. Yeah, just a minute. 265 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,521 Hello. Hi, Vera. 266 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,192 That's great news. Great. 267 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,362 - Cliff ie, here, she wants to talk to you. - Me? 268 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:13,866 - So, what's the good news? - That she wants to talk to you. 269 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,328 Yeah, Vera. 270 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,542 Well, are you following the recipe exactly? 271 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:26,420 No, Vera, look, it's supposed to be two cups of water, not vinegar. 272 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,925 No-- Get a hold of yourself now, Vera. 273 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,553 You're making a cake, not building a bomb. 274 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,764 He obviously hasn't had her tuna casserole. 275 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,520 I'm so stupid. I'm so... 276 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,657 Stupid. 277 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,579 Hey, Woody, where's Rebecca? 278 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:03,541 She was just playing the jukebox, then she went into the office. 279 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,377 Thank you. 280 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,546 Yeah, I'll be right over. 281 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:12,466 Oh, I gotta get over there, Normie. She's up to her armpits in batter. 282 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,720 You don't mind if I stay, Cliff? I've already seen that. 283 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,346 Yeah. 284 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:22,810 Hey, don't blame me. I told you to talk to the guy, not inhale his gums. 285 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,770 I couldn't help myself. 286 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,647 Well, at least you know how he feels now. 287 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,108 - He's not interested. - Who wanted to know that? 288 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,110 You did. You were miserable not knowing. 289 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,739 I was happy being miserable. Now you've ruined it. 290 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,783 Oh, listen, please, come on, sit down. Will you relax, please? 291 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,621 Just, you know, there's-- Could I have this? 292 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,086 - I'm probably gonna lose my job. - Oh, right, sure. 293 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:52,131 He's gonna come over here and fire you because of one lousy kiss. 294 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,008 Talk about paranoid. 295 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,428 Miss Howe, Mr. Drake's here to see you. 296 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,680 Talk about coincidence. 297 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,224 - I'm dead. - No, you're not. 298 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,602 Now, I'll take care of this. 299 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,479 Woody, can you stall for a minute there? 300 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,064 Sure. 301 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,317 You know, in high school, I entered the 4-H Club... 302 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,444 Not us, Woody, him, him. 303 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,572 Not us, him. Go out there, boy, come on. 304 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,449 Okay, sure, Sam. 305 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:22,453 Would it have killed you to be a little more specific? 306 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,291 - What am I gonna do? - Well, just wait. 307 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,793 Well, all right, I'll go out there 308 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,421 and I'll tell him that you were bombed and that it didn't mean anything. 309 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,714 Terrific. Wonderful image. 310 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,676 A girl goes to a party and gets hammered, then turns promiscuous. 311 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,344 Well, all right, all right. 312 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,972 I'll tell him that you were trying to make me jealous 313 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,433 because you're crazy in love with me. 314 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,310 That's... 315 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:51,273 Let me see. My choices are: 316 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:56,278 I'm a boozy slut or a complete idiot. 317 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,867 - I'd go with the idiot. - I already did. 318 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,665 So that's how we knew beyond a doubt 319 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:12,461 that we were putting way, way too much bran in the pigs' fodder. 320 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,554 Hi, Evan. What are you doing here, huh? 321 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,222 Well, I was on my way to the airport 322 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,225 and I thought I'd come by here and clear this matter up before I left. 323 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,727 Listen, I gotta tell you, 324 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,187 that whole thing at the party was my fault. 325 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,190 We'd had a little tiff and she was trying to make me jealous. 326 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,276 Yeah, I figured it was something like that. 327 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,652 - Yeah. - Yeah. 328 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,113 Well, I better go back there and apologize to her. 329 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,949 Wait-- You're gonna apologize? 330 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:45,035 Well, yeah, I overreacted. I was a little rough on her. 331 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,996 Yeah. 332 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:50,291 Actually, give me a second here, will you? 333 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,627 She probably needs to freshen up. She's pretty upset by this whole thing. 334 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:57,339 Her mascara's probably down in her shoes by now. 335 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,259 How much do I owe you for that, bartender? 336 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,136 Oh, no charge, Mr. Drake. 337 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,138 I mean, after all, you kind of own the place. 338 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,891 Oh, no, no, no, I'll pay for it. 339 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,434 - Credit card okay? - Sure. 340 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,979 - All right. - I'll need to see your driver's license. 341 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,527 Listen, I did my best. 342 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:21,363 I mean, I gave him the jealousy story, but he just didn't buy it. 343 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:25,534 - I'll tell you, man, he is really steamed. - Damn. 344 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,623 You know, he said that if you were really in love with me, 345 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,709 that he might understand. You know, that it would explain everything. 346 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,878 But he just didn't buy that. 347 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:39,423 - Oh, God, what am I gonna do? - Well, I don't know, I don't know. 348 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,676 - Unless-- - Unless what? What? 349 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,346 No, no, that wouldn't work. 350 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,808 - No, no, what? Tell me, please. - All right. Maybe, you know, if he-- 351 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,392 Well, if he were to walk in here 352 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,813 and find you kissing me more passionately than you kissed him-- 353 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,106 - Forget it, forget it, forget it. - All right. 354 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,984 You know, you never give up. You are always on the make. 355 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,611 Let me tell you something, buster, 356 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:04,073 I still have a little self-respect, I have a little pride. 357 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,991 - Have it your way. - Hello? 358 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,004 Sorry, Evan, there. 359 00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:22,049 I didn't hear you come in there. You know how it is with young lovers, 360 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,760 we just can't keep our hands off each other. 361 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,516 - You're a lucky man, Sam. - Oh, yeah, you're telling me. 362 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:34,144 Well, this little honey of mine gives me a lot of good loving, don't you? 363 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,315 Sure do, punkin. 364 00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:43,821 Well, I just came by to apologize for how I reacted earlier. 365 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,408 Apologize? To me? 366 00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:51,495 - Well, yeah, I told Sam outside-- - You told Sam? 367 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,999 Gotcha. 368 00:22:57,126 --> 00:23:00,045 So why don't we just not say anything more about it? 369 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:03,048 I think that's a great idea. Let me walk you to the car here. 370 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,800 - Yeah. - Malone. 371 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:07,761 No, I think we should say nothing more about this. 372 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:19,064 - Sam, get back here. - Some women just can't get enough. 373 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,108 You haven't met my wife, Sam. 374 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,695 Good night. 375 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:29,450 Hey, listen, come on, I was just having a little fun with you. 376 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,076 You know, I know why you're upset. 377 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,662 You found out something in that room you hadn't counted on. 378 00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:37,374 - Your true feelings were revealed. - What? 379 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,502 Yeah. No woman can kiss like that and not mean it. 380 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:42,755 - Are you nuts? - No, no, no. 381 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,591 No, it can't be done. You know, you can't fake passion like that. 382 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,217 - Oh, is that right? - Yeah. 383 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,428 - Hey, Fras. - Hello. 384 00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:03,067 Nice try. 385 00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:09,823 Frasier? Frasier?