1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,754
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,007
So did you get a chance
to see Carla's babies?

3
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,636
Oh, we sure did. They are two of
the cutest little guys you've ever seen.

4
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,596
Oh, who do they look like,
Carla or Eddie?

5
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,515
Well, they're twins.
They kind of look like each other.

6
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,520
What's this? "Carla's Tips."

7
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:29,149
Yeah, it was Carla's idea. She does
some of her best thinking in labor.

8
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,861
This is ridiculous. How does she expect
to be tipped if she's not even here?

9
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,239
Well, actually, she's doing a lot better
than she usually does.

10
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,659
- Hello, Samuel.
- Hey.

11
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Well, pardon my appearance,
everybody.

12
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We always do.

13
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,540
Sorry, I was covering for Carla.

14
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,167
Oh, hey, you're doing a fine job.

15
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,795
The reason I look like I've been up
all night is because,

16
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,839
well, I've been up all night,
reading that little opus.

17
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,343
All right. <i>Lust for Justice.</i>
Yeah, Vera talked me into reading this.

18
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,969
- Yeah, she a fan?
- No.

19
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No, when Vera's talking,
I'll read just about anything.

20
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,975
I almost ruptured a disk delivering
those Book-of-the-Month-Club copies

21
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,395
and I decided to see
what all the hoo-hah was about.

22
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,063
- Two thumbs up, right?
- Oh, yeah.

23
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:11,483
Finest piece of trash not written by
a Judith or a Jackie in modern literature.

24
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:15,028
Good Lord. Another piece
of salacious mind candy.

25
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Look. Yeah,
this is over 600 pages long.

26
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Who could imagine he'd know
this many words?

27
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,953
Yeah, well, I checked.
He uses a lot of them twice.

28
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,249
Oh, well, Fras,
you wanna borrow it there?

29
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,292
There's no way
you'll find me reading it.

30
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,670
Oh, just look at these reviews...

31
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,673
- Suit yourself.
- "I couldn't put it down."

32
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Cheers.

33
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Oh, yeah, she is.
Miss Howe, Mr. Drake.

34
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Mr. Drake?
I wonder what he's calling about.

35
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Woody, how did he sound?
Happy, mad? Pleasant? Annoyed?

36
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,236
Well, he sounds kind of weird,
like an old woman with a lisp

37
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,779
and a thick German accent.

38
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Woody, that's his secretary.

39
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,951
Oh, well, then she sounded
pretty happy.

40
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,458
Hey, Anthony, Annie. What's up?

41
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,128
Sam, I'm swallowing my Tortelli pride

42
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,715
to ask if I might borrow five bucks.

43
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,633
That was very difficult for him.

44
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,137
Is it okay? I wanna get a present
for my mom and the twins.

45
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,014
Sure.
What are you gonna get them?

46
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:27,350
- Five bucks.
- She'll like that.

47
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:31,021
Thanks, Sam. Hey, I don't know
when I'll be able to pay you back.

48
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,231
Job market's been really bad lately.

49
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,151
I haven't been able
to find a job anywhere.

50
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,820
Actually, we have an opening
for a temporary waitress

51
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,572
to sub for your mom.
What do you think?

52
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,657
I don't wanna be a waitress.

53
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,743
No, I was thinking about her.

54
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,745
I don't want my wife to work.

55
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,914
I could do it if I want to.

56
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,253
Why don't you two talk about it?

57
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:59,424
Of course we will. Communication
is the cornerstone of our marriage.

58
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Well, well, well. Hey, Normie, look
who has developed a lust for justice.

59
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,435
Yeah.

60
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,854
Do you mind?
Lorenzo is hemorrhaging.

61
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,356
Oh, he dies.

62
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,317
- Don't tell me, don't tell me.
- Yeah, that's true.

63
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,903
We don't wanna spoil the part
where Monica first comes in.

64
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,113
Were you shocked when she
turned out to be a man?

65
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I saw that coming.

66
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,451
<i>Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton
Old times there are not forgotten</i>

67
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,620
<i>Look away, look away, look away</i>

68
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,331
You know, sometimes I like
to play little guessing games.

69
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,251
Do you like to play
little guessing games, guys?

70
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,253
Let's play a little guessing game.

71
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,630
I just spoke to Mr. Drake.

72
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And he suggested that I hire a young
girl he knows to cover for Carla.

73
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,555
Now, why do you suppose a busy,
important man like Mr. Drake

74
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:51,226
would take time out of his day
to get a simple cocktail waitress a job?

75
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,105
- Norm.
- She's a friend of the family.

76
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,399
- Possible.
- He's paying off a debt.

77
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,067
- I like that.
- He feels sorry for her.

78
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,486
- He does have a soft heart.
- She's sleeping with him?

79
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,738
Of course that little tramp
is sleeping with him.

80
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,492
Do you think I'm stupid?

81
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,870
Is this still part
of the guessing game?

82
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,210
This is just too perfect.

83
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:21,256
Evan found a nice little bowl
for his goldfish to swim in,

84
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,093
safe out of the reach
of the other executive sharks.

85
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,763
Obviously, he forgot about
the great white Sammy.

86
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,435
Well, we've reached
a compromise, Sam.

87
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,812
- I'm taking the relief waitress job.
- Great.

88
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,399
- What's the compromise?
- I'm letting her.

89
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,193
Wait a minute.
I am in charge around here

90
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,279
and it's my responsibility
to hire people.

91
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:47,699
And I have just been informed
that I am hiring someone else.

92
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,412
They're going through a tough time.

93
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,789
Why don't you let Annie work
just for tips?

94
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,124
- Tips?
- Yeah.

95
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,127
If I'm gonna work here,
I demand a set salary,

96
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:04,591
plus tips, plus two coffee breaks,
plus weekends off.

97
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,384
That is completely
out of the question.

98
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,345
Okay, then I demand that tip thing.

99
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,347
It's a deal.

100
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,397
I need a Scotch rocks,
two white wines and a draught.

101
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,274
Okey-dokey.

102
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Come on, corncob, <i>arriba.</i>

103
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Boy, I'll tell you,
Annie's getting to be a real pro, huh?

104
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,202
Yeah, she's sure rattling off
those drink orders, huh?

105
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,747
Oh, that's nothing. How about the way
she puts me in my place?

106
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,709
Can you believe it?

107
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Her first day on the job
and Evan's little tart is late.

108
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That's because she knows
I can't do anything about it

109
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because her lover boy
is the big boss.

110
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Isn't she just the queen of gall?

111
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,431
Oh, no, that was
Charlemagne's wife, I think.

112
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:59,312
You know, if memory serves,
I think her name was Cathy.

113
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,482
Have you ever thought that
you're reading this wrong?

114
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,110
That maybe she's just
a four-eyed little geek

115
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,861
that Evan Drake
is trying to help out?

116
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,781
Right, and Cliff is leaving his brain
to science.

117
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I guess you're still covering
for Carla, huh?

118
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,203
Guess again.

119
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:19,916
Okay. Here's another possibility.
instead of firing someone,

120
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,377
they send them to the worst job
in the organization.

121
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:25,296
Usually the poor schlep
just gets fed up and quits.

122
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,841
They've tried that on me
a bunch of times.

123
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Works like a charm.

124
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,512
You know, you might be right.

125
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,806
She's probably just some
pathetic little dishrag

126
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:38,351
whose last, great hope
is working here at Cheers.

127
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,437
I gotta stop jumping to conclusions.

128
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,983
Excuse me, is Miss Howe here?

129
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,568
Mr. Drake sent me.

130
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,154
Oh, you must be the slut.

131
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,951
- Excuse me?
- Slot. You're here to fill the slot.

132
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,162
Welcome to Cheers.

133
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,915
Why don't you follow me to my office
and we'll fill out your W-4 form?

134
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,418
- Oh, great.
- And I'll need a phone number

135
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,087
and a job history
and a number we can call

136
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,382
in case you meet with some
horrible, disfiguring accident.

137
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,179
- Sam?
- What?

138
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:18,433
Could I ask your opinion
as a passionate, macho studhorse?

139
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,147
Sure. I may have to stamp out
the answer with my foot, but go ahead.

140
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,069
Well, it's bad enough that Anthony's
lost all his ambition and can't get a job.

141
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:33,156
But ever since I started working here,
he's become insanely jealous.

142
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,366
Why am I late?
When am I coming home?

143
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,869
Why am I dressed
like such an ultra fox?

144
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,206
I mean, if it weren't for
the six times a day we make love,

145
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,541
he'd be no fun at all.

146
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,086
Six?

147
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,549
Can't think of anything
that I can do six times a day.

148
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,928
Hit me again, will you, Sam?

149
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,640
Listen, it's kind of tough
on a husband,

150
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,768
you know, to have his wife
supporting him. It's a pride thing.

151
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,812
It is a pride thing, Sam.

152
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:07,482
I remember once when I was
out of work, Vera had to support us.

153
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:11,069
I'll tell you, the day that woman left
to deliver phone books...

154
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,366
The proudest day of my life, actually.

155
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,494
What do you want me to do,
talk to him?

156
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,037
- Would you, Sam?
- Yeah.

157
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,164
- Thanks.
- Yeah, you're welcome.

158
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,750
Hey, I saw that!

159
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:31,422
Anthony. I can't believe
you're spying on me.

160
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,092
Suddenly everything makes sense.

161
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,344
You're taller than me.

162
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,473
You have a Corvette
instead of a bus pass.

163
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,809
And your hair does
that cool blow-dry thing.

164
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,354
And now you've got my wife.

165
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,648
Well, aren't you gonna
stay and fight for me?

166
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,734
- What's the use?
- Hey, Anthony, come on, now, don't...

167
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,571
You ever had to defend
Vera's honor?

168
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,948
Well, no, not per se.
But on more than one occasion,

169
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,909
I've held her place in line
while she parked the car.

170
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,079
Could you believe that?

171
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,207
After I gave that man
the best 28 months of my life.

172
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,960
Well, why don't you go catch up
with him and patch things up, huh?

173
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,129
Forget it. He's a wimp
and he can't get a job.

174
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,256
And his jealousy
is ruining our marriage.

175
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,675
Not to mention that he left
the cap off the toothpaste

176
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,428
for, like, the kajillionth day in a row.

177
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,806
I had no idea that the wounds
were so deep.

178
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,602
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
he can just go and--

179
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:31,274
Oh, God, I've just lost
the only man I've ever loved.

180
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,276
Wait, sit down here, will you?

181
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,737
Listen, he'll come back.
Don't you worry about that.

182
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:39,532
Now, he's not gonna leave
a beautiful girl like you.

183
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,785
- You really think so, Sam?
- Oh, absolutely. He'll be right back.

184
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,496
I mean, do you really think
I'm beautiful?

185
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,388
Hey, anyone see the conclusion of
<i>The White House Murders</i> last night?

186
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,557
No, no, don't say anything.
I've got it on tape.

187
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,644
Could you believe
it was the vice president?

188
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,187
Please.

189
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,148
How about where the first lady
popped out of a pool of her own blood

190
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,858
and strangled
the Russian ambassador?

191
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,779
- No, no.
- Yeah, that was my reaction exactly.

192
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,951
Well, thank you, one and all,
for ruining yet another plot for me.

193
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,161
I'll be off now, but before I go,

194
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,205
there's something I'd like
to share with you.

195
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:32,085
In <i>Citizen Kane,</i>
Rosebud is the name of his sled.

196
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,713
In <i>Murder on the Orient Express,</i>
everyone did it.

197
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,717
And Luke Skywalker's father
is Darth Vader.

198
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,472
Why doesn't the guy tell us
something we don't know, huh?

199
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,933
Darth Vader is Luke's father?

200
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:53,773
- See you soon. Bye.
- "Bye."

201
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,984
How dare she put on
that sweetness and light

202
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,570
when it's so obvious she's nothing more
than a sordid little harlot.

203
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,947
Hypocrite.

204
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,701
Doing a great job, Laurie.
Keep it up.

205
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,621
- I need a couple of draughts, Sam.
- Okay.

206
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,916
But, oh, you and Anthony
still not talking?

207
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,461
Talking? I can barely stomach
necking with him.

208
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,173
He's a wimp. Not like my Sam.

209
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,927
Tell me, how do you feel
about moonlit walks by the beach

210
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,096
and dinner by a roaring fire?

211
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:29,309
- I hate them. I can't stand them.
- Yay, me too.

212
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,145
No, no, no, I was kidding.
I love them.

213
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,355
Too late.

214
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,652
You know, if someone ran over Laurie
in the parking lot,

215
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,613
I bet it would look like an accident.

216
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,699
Do you wanna make 500 bucks?

217
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,910
Don't... Listen to yourself.
You're going crazy here.

218
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,079
We both have a problem
with these new waitresses.

219
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,831
Why don't we help
each other out here?

220
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,335
- Oh, like I scratch your back--
- And I'll scratch your front.

221
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,464
- What do you propose?
- Well, all right.

222
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:02,592
Now, we don't know for sure
that Laurie is Evan Drake's mistress,

223
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,260
so let a guy who knows women

224
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,179
better than they know themselves
find out.

225
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,472
Okay.

226
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,932
- Hey, Laurie, you got a second here?
- Yeah.

227
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:14,562
How do you feel about moonlit walks
on the beach

228
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,065
with a dinner by a roaring fire?

229
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,108
Oh, I love those.

230
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,152
Well, would you like to join me?

231
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,280
Oh, no, no, but thanks for asking.

232
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,952
She's his mistress.

233
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,834
- How do you know that?
- She turned me down.

234
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,962
That just proves
she has a weak stomach.

235
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,215
- I'll handle this myself.
- Oh, wait a second.

236
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,675
Wait a minute. What about
my problem here, you know?

237
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,470
Sam, I don't have time to handle
some silly little teenage crush.

238
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,722
It is not silly.

239
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,730
- Oh, yes, Miss Howe?
- Laurie, you are such a busy little bee.

240
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,234
I bet you just won't have an ounce
of energy left for your leisure time.

241
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,820
Oh, that's okay. I've lots of energy.

242
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,738
I'll bet you do.

243
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,616
You and I really haven't had
a chance to get to know each other.

244
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,035
What do you like to do
in your leisure time?

245
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,746
Well, I like to read.

246
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,166
- In bed?
- Sometimes.

247
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:22,130
- What else do you like to do in bed?
- Sleep.

248
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:27,510
Oh, well, let's imagine here
that you are asleep in bed

249
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,220
and you roll over.

250
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:33,224
Did you fall on the floor or
did something impede your progress?

251
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,226
- Excuse me?
- Oh, nothing.

252
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,646
It's just my warped, wonderful,
wild sense of humor.

253
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,067
By the way,
how do you know Evan Drake?

254
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,862
Well, he's a friend.

255
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,699
Well, maybe you could help me out.
I was gonna buy him a gift.

256
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,493
Perhaps you know what size
he wears in slacks or shirts

257
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,787
or Jockey shorts.

258
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,291
Sure, but he doesn't wear Jockeys.
He wears boxers.

259
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,501
Never mind, then.

260
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:05,715
I'm gonna pop her. I'm gonna pop her.
I'm gonna pop her right in the kisser.

261
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:09,343
I'm gonna pop her.
Pop, pop, pop...

262
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:14,140
That's good. Now do bacon frying.

263
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:25,485
You know, Darth Vader
cannot be Luke Skywalker's father.

264
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,529
They don't have the same last name.

265
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:33,951
That's right, Woody.
I'd better call out the imperial Guard.

266
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,829
Stop it, Mr. Peterson.
You're scaring me.

267
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:45,213
You know, Sam,
I was just thinking about us last night

268
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,257
as I was in the tub shaving my legs

269
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,427
and pumicing the dead skin
off my knees and elbows

270
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,139
- and waxing my--
- Is there a point to this?

271
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,267
Do I have to say it?
Can't you just feel it?

272
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,478
Would you stop that? This is silly.
Now, just--

273
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,105
Of course it's silly.
But love is silly, isn't it?

274
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,067
Romeo and Juliet were silly
in a mad, passionate way.

275
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,737
- Are we silly, Sam? Are we?
- You may be, but I'm not.

276
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:13,491
Listen, young lady, I happen to be
a very close friend of your mother-in-law,

277
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,494
and out of respect,
I'm ending this conversation right now.

278
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:20,373
You can end the conversation, Sam,
but you can't end the feeling.

279
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,000
Honey, I'm flattered, but this is nuts.

280
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,003
I mean, you know,
I'm old enough to be your--

281
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,256
A youthful uncle, all right?

282
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:32,510
I mean, when I'm 60,
you're gonna be 22.

283
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:35,429
Oh, my God, that can't be right.

284
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,184
All right, when I'm 60...

285
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,145
Well, you'll be looking
pretty good, actually.

286
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,357
So why don't you call me
when I'm 60?

287
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,485
- I can't wait that long.
- Oh, don't-- Just-- No--

288
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,365
Hey, knock it off!

289
00:17:56,867 --> 00:18:00,746
All right, you, outside. You're gonna
get what's coming to you.

290
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,124
I am not going outside
with you, Anthony.

291
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,709
Not you, her.

292
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,004
I mean, come on,
you're twice as big as me.

293
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,756
But you stay away from her
if you know what's good for you.

294
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,884
- Thank you for the warning.
- Come on, Annie, let's go.

295
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,720
Why should I listen to you?

296
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:20,266
Because I happen to be
the new assistant night manager

297
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,018
at Burger Burger Burger.

298
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,523
- You got a job?
- Hey, an important job.

299
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:31,319
When I tell people to chop lettuce,
they say, "How high?"

300
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,864
And now I am telling you, missy,

301
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:39,827
if you don't come with me this instant,
we're through forever.

302
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,915
I am so totally turned on right now
I could spit.

303
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:50,004
Well, I guess it's true what they say,
power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

304
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,007
A uniform doesn't hurt either.

305
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:58,304
- Can you wear it all night?
- Well, maybe the hat.

306
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,558
Boy, Sam, lucky for you
he got that job, huh?

307
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,101
Lucky, hell. I got him that job.

308
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,771
I traded in a few favors
and got him in.

309
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,858
As a matter of fact, are you interested
in buying a second-hand car

310
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,277
with this giant hamburger on top?

311
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,238
Five-speed or automatic?

312
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,618
- Miss Howe?
- Yes, Laurie dear.

313
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,412
Well, Mr. Drake is dropping by,
and I was wondering

314
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:27,083
if I could just break away
for an early lunch.

315
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,626
Lunch.

316
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,420
Is that the fashionable term
for it these days?

317
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,090
No, I think
I've always called it lunch.

318
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,343
Well, you just run along
with Mr. Drake to your lunch,

319
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,013
and don't eat so much
you can't walk back.

320
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,767
Okay.

321
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,936
Excuse me, Sam,
what did she mean by that?

322
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:50,022
Oh, she's under
a lot of pressure nowadays.

323
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:54,068
I volunteered to help her release
some of it, but she...

324
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,530
I probably didn't help by asking
for an early break.

325
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,157
I'd better apologize.

326
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:05,579
Normie, do my eyes deceive me or
is this the start of girl-fighting season?

327
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:09,333
Luckily we have our luxury box seats
just in time.

328
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,128
That's right. They cost a little bit more,
but they're worth it.

329
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,423
Miss Howe, if it's more convenient,
I'll take my lunch whenever--

330
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,342
Listen! Let's just cut the crap here,
all right?

331
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,344
I know how you got hired here,

332
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,972
and I know what your relationship is
to Mr. Drake.

333
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,515
You do?

334
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:27,643
Well, give me credit for having
an ounce of a brain.

335
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:34,233
You can tell me to go to Hell,
but there's something I have to know.

336
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,486
- Do you love Evan Drake?
- Well, yes.

337
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,780
I see.

338
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,783
And does he love you?

339
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,954
- Does he love you?
- Well, of course he does.

340
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,165
Well, then, there's only
one thing left to say:

341
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,876
Oh, my God!

342
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,298
Oh, damn, it's a knockout.

343
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,842
Didn't even get to any hair-pulling.

344
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,890
What the hell's going on?

345
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,767
- Mr. Drake.
- Daddy?

346
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,560
- Daddy?
- Daddy?

347
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,687
- Daddy.
- Daddy.

348
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,526
- What happened?
- Oh, I think she hit me.

349
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,822
- You hit my daughter?
- Well, I'm fine.

350
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,909
Yes, I did, but it was an accident.

351
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,621
- I have a nerve disorder.
- A nerve disorder?

352
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,956
- Yes.
- She was dropped as a child on her...

353
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,835
And you better stand back because
I never know when it's gonna go off.

354
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:37,797
See? I'd better get back
on that medication.

355
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,966
- Are you all right, baby?
- I'll be all right, thank you.

356
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,139
- I mean her.
- Yes, Daddy.

357
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,142
So Laurie's your daughter.

358
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,978
Why didn't you tell me, kiddo?

359
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,689
Well, Daddy said not to.

360
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,733
I didn't want her
to have special treatment.

361
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:01,070
I wanted her to know what it feels like
not to be the boss's daughter.

362
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,364
What a fabulous idea.

363
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:06,575
And so smart of you
not to tell anyone who she was.

364
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,911
Do you have any cotton
in your office?

365
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,372
Well, let's put some food
in my baby.

366
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:15,876
Again, please accept my apology, and it
was so nice to see you, Mr. Drake.

367
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,922
If you don't mind, I'll wait till
after you've had the medication.

368
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:27,888
Do you think he bought
that nerve-disorder thing?

369
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,224
I think he bought
that nerve-disorder thing.

370
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:33,978
- Is it getting darker in here?
- Oh, Sam, stop being such a big baby.

371
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,897
- Yeah, well...
- Let me look at your nose.

372
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,110
- My God.
- What?

373
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,618
What--?

374
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:57,001
Hey, everybody, I'm back.

375
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,544
- Hey, Carla.
- All right.

376
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:02,214
- Anything new since I've been gone?
- Nope, not much.

377
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,466
Yeah, well, nothing special.

378
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,428
- Yeah, how about yourself?
- The usual.