1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,296 Cheers is filmed before a live audience. 2 00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:07,966 English is, of course, a member of the Germanic subfamily 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,594 - of the Indo-European family... - isn't this fascinating? 4 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,305 Must be what TV's like after you're dead. 5 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:17,809 All right, Normie, turn off that claptrap. The cavalry has arrived. 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,730 I just raided Vinson's Video Emporium for the finest '50s sci-fi fare. 7 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,233 - All right. - Get ready for a rollicking evening 8 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:28,111 of pod people, invisible monsters and wisecracking robots. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,989 - Danger, danger. - Danger, danger. 10 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,200 - I love that stuff. - Yeah? 11 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,286 Oh, now, there's one of my favorites, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 12 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:39,122 - All right. Good one. - A particularly trenchant analysis 13 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,875 of the collective American psyche during the Cold War era, 14 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,586 with the pod people representing the dehumanizing effect 15 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,755 of the McCarthy hearings. 16 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,134 I guess we got plenty of other movies here. 17 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,388 Here we go. The Day the Earth Stood Still. A real classic. 18 00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:01,353 For my money, the finest allegorical retelling of the life of Christ on film. 19 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,021 Even better than E.T. 20 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,566 Next batter. 21 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,319 - Forbidden Planet. - Well, that's a good choice. 22 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,613 It's a witty revamp of Shakespeare's The Tempest, 23 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,032 with Robby the robot standing in for the sprite, Ariel. 24 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,034 Well, so, what will it be? 25 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:21,206 This, then, was the height of the literary use of Middle English. 26 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,416 By the end of the... 27 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,159 - Look, are you sure...? - Check out Mr. Evan Drake there, 28 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,203 acting like he owns the place, eh? 29 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,872 Thinks he's just some Bigshot corporate executive. 30 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:46,917 Doesn't have to pay attention to the common man, like you and me. 31 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,877 We're not important enough. 32 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,879 Actually Cliff, if it helps to alleviate this envy 33 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,798 that seems to be eating you up right now, 34 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,967 studies have shown that rich people are 40 to 50 percent less happy 35 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,512 - than most of us. - Oh, come on, that's a crock. 36 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,264 Well, of course it is, but we have to cling to it, don't we? 37 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:06,019 - Okay. Damn. - Bad news? 38 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,813 Yeah, a very important client and I 39 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,524 were gonna take the corporate yacht out for a little cruise, 40 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,901 - but he had to hurry home. - illness in the family? 41 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,153 No, they overthrew his government. 42 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:16,905 On the weekend, to boot. 43 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,783 Yeah, just can't make plans with dictators. 44 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,619 Sam, why don't you join me. 45 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371 We're heading out to Martha's Vineyard. 46 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,164 Oh, I'd love to. 47 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,167 Why don't we make it a romantic weekend. 48 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,878 Well, I'm flattered, Evan-- 49 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,463 No, no, no. 50 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,424 I meant bring Rebecca along. 51 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,093 Rebecca? Why would I want to do that? 52 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,220 Well, the last I heard, you two were a hot item. 53 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,305 I'm not gonna hear any more about it. 54 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,307 - I don't know, man. - No, you two are coming. 55 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,769 Now, just call my secretary. She'll give you all the details. All right? 56 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,855 Mr. Drake? 57 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,859 I'm an insignificant cog in the vast machinery of your corporation. 58 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,277 Nice to meet you. 59 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,195 You being a rich and powerful guy, 60 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,781 you might think you'd let yourself get all fat and lazy, 61 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,951 but you look like you keep yourself in pretty good shape. 62 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,162 Well, I get to the gym a few times a week. 63 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,957 Good, good, then maybe you can catch the truck that's towing your Rolls. 64 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,088 I love to see rich people haul butt. 65 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,427 Well, let's see here. 66 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,389 What little mermaid would like me to scale her tail this weekend? 67 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,392 What, you're not taking Miss Howe? 68 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:32,355 No, I thought I'd have fun instead. I'm tired of barking up that tree. 69 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,483 I thought Mr. Drake told you to take her. 70 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:38,153 Well, I'll just tell him we broke up or something. Besides, 71 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,657 I got this gorgeous dental hygienist that I've been trying to impress. 72 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,659 Flossing every day just isn't doing it. 73 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:49,372 She'll love this yacht thing. She's into money in a big way. 74 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,917 It's amazing how superficial some people can be, isn't it? 75 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,337 Tell me about it. Good thing for her she's got a great set of hooters. 76 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,173 - Good luck. - Thank you. 77 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,426 Hold it, hold it, hold it, no, I'm telling you, Normie, 78 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,929 recent research into the Revolutionary War 79 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,389 indicates that the defenders of this area 80 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,934 were not called the minutemen, after all. 81 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,520 Like every history book has been wrong, right? 82 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,105 They were actually called the minute men. 83 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,901 A lot of them were under three feet tall, as a matter of fact. 84 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,695 Way back in history, people were shorter. 85 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,572 - All right, fine. - Take, for example, 86 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,407 - the Knights of the Round Table. - Yeah. 87 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,284 Genuine midgets. 88 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,246 You're a very lonely man, aren't you? 89 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,334 Julie, sweetheart, come on, it's the middle of winter. 90 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,836 You're gonna have to bundle up. 91 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,630 I don't know. Pack a wool bikini or something. 92 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,757 All right. Okay, bye-bye. 93 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,135 All right. Julie is set. 94 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,429 Sammy, come here, let me see if I got this straight. 95 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,850 - What? - Drake invited you and Rebecca. 96 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,602 Rebecca's got the major hots for Drake. 97 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,355 You take Julie instead of Rebecca. 98 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,608 Rebecca is left standing alone on the dock. 99 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:03,530 Hey, what's that in her hand? Oh, must be your severed head. 100 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,490 Hey, don't worry about it. 101 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,159 Rebecca's not even gonna find out she was invited. 102 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,453 Well, Sam, looks like we're gonna be shipmates. 103 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,748 - What do you mean? - I just saw Evan outside 104 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,501 and he told me the good news. I'm gonna be your date. 105 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:21,381 Well, here's the bad news. I've already invited somebody else. 106 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,716 Uninvite her. 107 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:27,178 Sam, I have been dying for this chance to get to know Evan in a social setting. 108 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,974 He only sees me as some tough businesswoman in tailored suits. 109 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,851 I want him to see me in sportswear. 110 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,060 No. 111 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,689 You don't understand. See, Julie is really important to me. 112 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,775 I've been working like crazy to set something up with her 113 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,694 for almost three days now. 114 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:49,576 All right, all right. I'll call Evan and I'll try to fix it up. 115 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,871 What am--? How am I gonna explain Julie tagging along? 116 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:56,166 I don't know. Tell him she's your sister. 117 00:06:56,666 --> 00:07:01,296 My sister? Rebecca, this is a hot, gorgeous, sexy woman. 118 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,840 Yeah, he'll believe that. 119 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,098 Oh, this looks just marvelous, Lorenzo, just marvelous. 120 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,143 Thanks again, Evan, 121 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,771 for making room for my sister here on such short notice. 122 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,356 Yeah, I really appreciate that. 123 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,525 This yacht must have cost a fortune. 124 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,613 Well, did it? 125 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,993 Well, the important thing is that it gets me where I want to go. 126 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,495 Yep. 127 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,206 All I really need is a boat beneath my feet 128 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,833 and a star to guide her with. 129 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,460 And, of course, a helicopter pad. 130 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,297 You've got a beautiful laugh, Julie. 131 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,384 Doesn't she brighten up the old tub, Lorenzo? 132 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,220 It is like a ray of sunshine to have a woman as beautiful 133 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,472 as Miss Malone on board. 134 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:53,974 And, of course, you too. 135 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,021 - Yeah, yeah, of course. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Drake. 136 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,065 Well, you must be very proud of your brother. 137 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,693 He was one heck of a pitcher, I'll tell you. 138 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:08,655 Too bad he's not playing now, when he could be making some real money. 139 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,949 Isn't she sweet? 140 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,660 You two are very close, aren't you? 141 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,997 Yeah. She's like a sister to me. 142 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,834 I'm afraid I didn't have much in common with my brother. 143 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,877 You too? The same with my brother. 144 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,131 Julie, you told me you didn't have another brother. 145 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,134 - Well-- - Well, she doesn't, actually. But I do. 146 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,344 Well, well, it's not actually his brother. 147 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,223 They're just such close friends, Sam likes to think of him as his brother. 148 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,934 We just don't have anything in common, that's all. 149 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,062 Everything is ready, sir. 150 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,108 Everyone help themselves here. I have to have a word with the chef. 151 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,736 Hey, I have three for him. "Keep it coming." 152 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,780 You know, this is kind of fun, 153 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,075 pretending to have this whole different personality. 154 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:57,078 If you like it, you might want to get one of your own. 155 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:04,878 Wow, would you look at this. Lobster, cracked crab, caviar. 156 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,588 Hey, ham. 157 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,760 I wonder what this spread cost. 158 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,346 You know, Julie, you seem very concerned with the price of things. 159 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,057 Don't you find that a little rude? 160 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:20,018 Well, it's not like I asked him how old he is. 161 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,521 What do you think? Forty-five? Fifty? 162 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,321 Find anything to your liking? 163 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,364 Actually, yes. 164 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,700 So have I. 165 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:42,332 So I guess your cabin is that really big one upstairs, huh? 166 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,126 I'd really like to see it. 167 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,380 Well, maybe I could take you on a captain's tour right after dinner. 168 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,132 Oh, I'd really like that. 169 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,802 Do you think your brother would mind? 170 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,011 What brother? 171 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,722 Great. 172 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,976 - Tonight is the night. - Yeah. 173 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,062 I can feel it in my bones. 174 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,731 Right after dinner, I'm gonna tell Evan how I really feel. 175 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,942 No, I'm gonna show him how I feel. 176 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,277 I'm going to seize the moment. 177 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,487 Fine. Do what you want. 178 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,657 Right about then, I'm gonna be seizing Julie's headboard. 179 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,541 Well, may I propose a toast? 180 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,084 - Oh, yeah. - Yes. 181 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,504 To a night full of promise and possibilities. 182 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,756 Hear, hear! 183 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,104 Well, I hope Lorenzo has seen to everything. 184 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,731 Julie, this is your cabin. I hope you find it comfortable. 185 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,192 - Thank you. - I'll check in on you later, sis. 186 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,820 That's okay. I think I'm getting a headache. 187 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,866 Well, not to worry. I'll just drop by with the old family cure. 188 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,911 Your cabin, you two. 189 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,955 - Good night. - Good night. Sleep tight. 190 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,206 Don't let the bedbugs bite. 191 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,792 But I'm sure you don't have bedbugs on this boat. 192 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,210 Or any other kind of bugs. 193 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,421 Do they even have bugs at sea? Maybe water bugs-- 194 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,298 Good night. 195 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,176 What is my problem? 196 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:20,096 Every time I talk to him, I sound like a complete idiot. 197 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,975 Sam, did you ever get tongue-tied with a woman? 198 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,602 Oh, sure, lots of times. 199 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,438 Matter of fact, once, we had to go to the emergency room. 200 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,232 - They do have bugs at sea. - Oh, yeah. 201 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,820 Hey, this is a great room, isn't it? Too bad I won't be using it. 202 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,698 Yeah, well, if I get lucky, I won't either. 203 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,867 Sam, do you have to do that in front of me? 204 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,203 What? I'm sorry, but Julie's a dental hygienist. 205 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,830 This is gonna be the first thing she checks. 206 00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,540 Maybe the second. 207 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,045 You know, I love it when you talk stupid, Sam. 208 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,756 Didn't she just say she had a headache? 209 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,633 No, no, that's for Evan's benefit. 210 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,719 No, she's got the kind of headache where you go straight to bed 211 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,971 and take a couple of Sammys every four hours. 212 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,018 God, I cannot believe I'm sharing a stateroom with you. 213 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,854 - I will never get any mirror time. - All right. All right. 214 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,196 - What can I get you? - Well, let's see. 215 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,157 Today's my birthday. What's a good birthday drink? 216 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,452 Well, Sam always buys a free beer for people on their birthday. 217 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,537 Hey, that's great. 218 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,375 Actually, it's my girlfriend here's birthday too. 219 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,419 Well, she gets a free beer too, then. 220 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,589 Funny thing is, it's our birthday also. 221 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,759 Yeah, that's how we all met. We were at the same party. 222 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,806 Free beers all around, then. 223 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:49,852 Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Hoof-and-Mouth, will you put your thinking cap on? 224 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,771 What are the chances of those four people 225 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,314 having a birthday on the same day? 226 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:57,443 The odds must be astronomical. I'm just glad I was here to see it. 227 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,737 Woody, Woody, Woody. 228 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,323 Don't you think it's a slightest bit of a coincidence 229 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:07,620 that those four people happen to have the same birthday as Cliff and me? 230 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:13,918 Really? 231 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,297 - A pitcher will be fine. - Yeah. 232 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,641 You've been working on your hair all this time and it still looks like that? 233 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,310 Like what? 234 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,854 Like something you'd surf on. 235 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,647 Give me the brush. 236 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,441 Get down. 237 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:41,654 God. Am I really gonna have the guts to go through with this? 238 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,698 Yes, I am. I have to. 239 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,951 And now. There you go. 240 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,620 - Hey, that's great. - This is really gonna be tricky tonight. 241 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,957 I have to create just the right romantic mood with Evan. 242 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,167 Yeah. 243 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,377 Do you have any suggestions on how I could do that? 244 00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:00,381 Yeah, that's easy. What you do is you knock on his door 245 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,176 and you tell him that you're having trouble sleeping, 246 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,552 that you need some air. 247 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,972 And then you get him to take a little stroll around the deck with you. 248 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,850 And then when the moment's right, 249 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,394 you tell him you'd like to see him naked. 250 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,358 - Works for me. - Yeah. 251 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,109 I'm out of here. 252 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,196 Okay. Good luck. 253 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,326 I was just heading up on deck. 254 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,536 I was just going up on deck too. 255 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,997 - I just changed my mind. - I just changed my mind too. 256 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,710 That was quick. 257 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,504 Was it everything you thought it'd be? 258 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,842 Sam, don't be stupid. 259 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,345 - All right, here I go. - Go on. 260 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,684 I changed my mind, decided to get some air. 261 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,937 - Yeah, me too. - Oh, but I forgot my... 262 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,730 So did I. 263 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,109 Would you do something about that damn Julie? 264 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,736 She keeps heading up on deck every time I open up the door. 265 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,280 Julie? What the hell's she doing? We've got a date. 266 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,825 That would probably send me to the rail too. 267 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,743 Here I go again. 268 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,163 Are you ready for the captain's tour? 269 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:17,583 Oh, I don't know. I don't think I'm dressed for it. 270 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,129 Maybe you could help me pick out something. 271 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,426 - Oh, my God. - What? 272 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:30,054 I just saw Evan go in Julie's cabin. My life has no meaning. 273 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,557 - You're crazy. - I'm not. I saw it. 274 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,559 Shoot me now! 275 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,527 Julie? 276 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,907 Sam, I told you I have a headache. 277 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:54,745 Wait a minute. What--? Hey, Drake's in there, isn't he? 278 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,791 - Well-- - I don't believe this. What...? 279 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,502 You're throwing me over for that guy? Why? 280 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,254 Just because he has more money than me? 281 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,922 More money than I'll ever hope to have? 282 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,716 More money than most of America ha--? 283 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,635 I'm losing this argument, aren't I? 284 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,555 Good night. 285 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,979 I don't believe the nerve of that woman. 286 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,773 I believe it. Of course, I believe it. 287 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,027 Because she is nothing more than a classless bimbo. 288 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,862 Hey, don't defend her to me. 289 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:35,870 To think, you know, I have wasted three days on that lost cause. 290 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:40,625 Three days? Try wasting two years. 291 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,671 Two years of waiting by the phone for him to call. 292 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,883 Two years of making excuses for why he didn't. 293 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:54,680 Two years dreaming about him and thinking about him, 294 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:59,268 living every moment for Evan Gregory Drake. 295 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:03,814 Wow. Boy, you sure have me beat. 296 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:11,072 I'm just so disappointed in him. 297 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,032 Disappointed? Think how I feel. 298 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,284 I mean, he's in there boinking my sister. 299 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:26,420 I am never gonna have a husband or babies 300 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,339 - Oh, come on. - or a family. 301 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:34,095 All I have is my stupid career and I don't even like it. 302 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,473 Hey, come on now, listen. 303 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,936 You are a beautiful, intelligent woman. 304 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:45,064 Sam, please. Not now. 305 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,817 What? Oh, come on. What, do you think that I'm...? 306 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:52,863 Listen, I made a lot of stupid passes at you, but this is not one of them. 307 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:58,119 Hey. You are a terrific person. 308 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,496 And a lot of good things are gonna happen. 309 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:03,332 And I'm sure the right person's gonna come along. 310 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:09,005 What if he already did and I didn't know it because of Evan? 311 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:13,551 Well, then, if you missed him, then he wasn't the right person. 312 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:22,268 - Really? - Yeah, really. 313 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,438 Really. 314 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:37,908 Listen, you're in a very emotional state right now. 315 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,911 I don't wanna take advantage of that. 316 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,999 If you want me to leave, you just say so. 317 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,756 I don't seem to be saying anything. 318 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,809 - Oh, I'm sorry for-- - No, it's all right, Evan. Come in. 319 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,357 Well, I can't sleep until I get something off my chest. 320 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,943 Well, read a book, man, and get back to us in about three hours. 321 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,154 - Go on, Evan. - Sam, 322 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,616 I got where I am in life 323 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:22,745 because I have always dealt honestly with the people I respect. 324 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,956 Gee, that's great. Can we talk about it in the morning, please? 325 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,042 Sam, I tried to seduce your sister. 326 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:35,508 Oh, well, that's a shocker. Maybe we ought to sleep on it. 327 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,802 Sam, please give me my day in court, will you? 328 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,261 Yeah. 329 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,930 See, I... 330 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:45,142 Well, since my marriage broke up, I have been feeling lonely. 331 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,896 Still, a man gets urges. 332 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,774 But I guess I'm just too old-fashioned 333 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,944 to think I can find any real happiness that way. 334 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,113 Nothing happened, Sam. 335 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,699 And I just wanted to explain that to you. So... 336 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,410 Excuse me. 337 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:05,871 - Well, good night. - Yeah, good night. 338 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,167 All right, come here. Okay. 339 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,253 Where were we, here? 340 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:16,757 I have never loved that man more than I do right at this very minute. 341 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,386 Me neither. So where were we? 342 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,347 God, he needs someone so badly. 343 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,183 Come on. I haven't used that "men have urges" line 344 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,227 since I was in the fifth grade. 345 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:30,020 Excuse me, Sam. 346 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,314 What? Come on. What will you do? 347 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,400 - You gonna go chasing after him? - No, no, no. 348 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,278 It isn't the right time. I just have to think. 349 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,073 I'm gonna go up on deck and sleep and look at the stars. 350 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,534 No, no, look, listen, you can't... 351 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,704 You can't just work me up like that and then walk out of here. Please. 352 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,164 - Sam... - No, please. 353 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:52,334 I believe you have a sister with a vacancy sign on her door. 354 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,254 Right, right. 355 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,385 Say hello to the stars for me, sweetheart. 356 00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,679 Boy, these signs. Okay, all right. 357 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,144 Julie? Listen. 358 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,272 Why don't we let bygones be bygones here? 359 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,816 You were tempted. I was tempted. 360 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,320 But, what the hell, we're both consenting adults. 361 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:24,033 I sure hope there's some room in that bunk of yours for me. 362 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,910 There isn't. 363 00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:32,249 I've got to stay off boats, man. 364 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,506 Hello. 365 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,425 Hey, Carla, did you pick your mother-in-law up? 366 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:45,221 Yeah. I tried to pawn her off on some Hare Krishnas. 367 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:48,307 But I think she's the only thing they won't take at the airport. 368 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,353 - So how's it been going? - Oh, fine. 369 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:55,272 Well, they tried to pull that old birthday gag 370 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,233 where they get a free round of beers. 371 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,193 But I caught on after the fifth round. 372 00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:02,947 Gomer, Gomer, Gomer. 373 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,076 Lucky for me, I remembered that Mr. Clavin and Mr. Peterson 374 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,994 already had their birthday. 375 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,789 Those foam-suckers were in on this? 376 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,499 That does it. Where are they? 377 00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:18,337 Hey, hey, hey! I wanna talk to you. Nobody stiffs this bar. 378 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,967 You owe me for five rounds. 379 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,642 Cliff ie, we split up. There's no way she can catch both of us. 380 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,853 Normie, she's gonna come after me first. 381 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,271 Yeah. Ready? 382 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,648 No, no, no. 383 00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:39,900 Get back here! Get-- 384 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,320 Hey! Where's the tip?