1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,296 Cheers is filmed before a live audience. 2 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:07,216 Come in. 3 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,302 Mind if I use your office? 4 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,720 Again? 5 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,097 Hey, you think I like having to do this? 6 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,558 You know how hard it is to breast-feed twins? 7 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,980 I haven't had my bra off and on this much since junior high. 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,653 Hey. Maybe you could help. 9 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,742 What do you mean "help"? 10 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,745 Well, you got a decent set of ducts. 11 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,375 Maybe I could use you as a decoy. 12 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:46,505 See, like, while I'm pumping one kid, the other one's attached to you. 13 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,799 Are you serious? 14 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,509 Sure. It will shut them up. 15 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,428 So they won't get milk. Life is hard. 16 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,086 - Good evening, everyone. - Hello. 17 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,713 You know, it's uncanny, my darling, 18 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,632 but there's not a room you step foot into 19 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,759 where you're not the most beautiful woman there. 20 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,261 That's deplorable sentence structure, Frasier. 21 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,512 What you mean to say 22 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,390 is that I am the most beautiful woman in any room I enter. 23 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,561 Yes. Well, thank you for correcting me in front of 30 people. 24 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,650 There you go, your usual kier spritzer. 25 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,860 Hey, the big day's around the corner, isn't it? 26 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,195 Yeah, next Saturday. 27 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,740 Lilith and I have been in the process of writing, editing, rewriting 28 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,076 and researching our wedding vows. 29 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,665 - Hi, boss. - Hiya. 30 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,917 Hello, Rebecca. 31 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:50,712 I have a small favor to ask regarding our impending wedding. 32 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,839 Since all my close friends will be out of town 33 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,092 and we have had a previous conversation, 34 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,511 and our eyes have met on a number of occasions, 35 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,473 I was wondering if you'd consent to be my maid of honor. 36 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,142 Me? 37 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,061 Isn't that usually your best friend? 38 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,521 You are my best friend. 39 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,358 Oh, I'm very flattered. 40 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,527 I guess so. Sure, Lila. 41 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,446 - Lilith. - Right, right. 42 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:17,989 I knew that. 43 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,242 Let's discuss wedding gowns. Do you think black...? 44 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,912 Sam, it goes without saying, of course, you'll be my best man. 45 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,833 I don't wanna do that. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. 46 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,669 I mean, a best man has to give a toast, doesn't he? 47 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,339 No, look, I took the liberty of writing down a few things. 48 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,426 Then I'd be honored. That's great. 49 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,845 What are you doing for a bachelor party? 50 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,888 Well, actually, I haven't any plan. 51 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,598 Would you like to have one tonight? 52 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,685 What do you think, darling? Would I like a bachelor party? 53 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,145 No, don't... 54 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,232 Well, while I feel that particular ritual is as passé 55 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,693 as taking the topknot of one's dead enemy, 56 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:58,864 I will not deprive you of the experience, immature though it might be. 57 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,699 She's a gamer. 58 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,287 We're on. Fellas, stag party tonight. 59 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,372 - Yeah, yeah. - All right. 60 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,417 You know being maid of honor means 61 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,295 you have to throw Brünnhilde a bridal shower. 62 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,256 Oh, right. I guess I should do something. 63 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,425 What kind of shower do you think? Kitchen? Linen? 64 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,596 Look at who she's hitching up with. Better make it marital aids. 65 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,474 I'll handle this. 66 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:29,269 Lilith, what do you say we have a little get-together at my place tonight? 67 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,645 That would be lovely. 68 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,732 Now, you're gonna have to tell me who to invite because I don't know 69 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,942 anything about you. 70 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,278 I only wish there was some way 71 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,906 - I could repay you, Rebecca. - Oh, don't mention it. 72 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:44,034 If you ever need to admit a family member to a mental institution, 73 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,787 I could certainly speed up the paperwork. 74 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,124 That's very dear of you. 75 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,337 - Well, gents, - Yep. 76 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,422 - My last night of freedom. - Yep. 77 00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:01,510 One last chance to loosen the old noose, so to speak, 78 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,138 and really have some fun while I still can't. 79 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,599 Do I hear the pitter-patter of cold feet? 80 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,894 No, no, not at all. I mean, as long as I'm in love with this woman, 81 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,188 and she has my dear old mother tied up in the cellar, 82 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,023 I'm gonna go through with it. 83 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:20,028 Darling, could I speak with you a moment? 84 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,573 Excuse me, the ball and chain. 85 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,705 Frasier, do you realize that is the fourth derogatory remark 86 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,415 about marriage you've made this evening? 87 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,544 Oh, come on, my angel. I mean, they're jokes. 88 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,589 I mean, everybody knows my mother's dead. That's what makes it funny. 89 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,134 No one loves a good joke more than I, 90 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,387 but I find that, as our wedding day approaches, 91 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:48,265 the frequency of these quips has increased. 92 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,183 Are you having second thoughts? 93 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,353 Well, only that I love you more now than I did five minutes ago. 94 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:57,482 Leaving aside your schoolboy sophistries, let me make you an offer. 95 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,986 If, after your madcap night of debauchery and vomiting, 96 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,655 you still feel you want to go through with the wedding plans, 97 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,490 call me and tell me so. 98 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,326 Lilith, that's entirely unnecessary. 99 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,161 I beg to differ. 100 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:15,125 Up until this point, you've only seen my warm and vulnerable side. 101 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,962 Now I must become cold and analytical. 102 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,550 As if you could, my treasure. 103 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:29,055 Frasier, I need your reassurance. I'll be awaiting your call. 104 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,685 Boy, this bachelor party should be keen. 105 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,562 Keen? 106 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,732 Hey, I don't know about Indiana, 107 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,483 but around here when guys get together 108 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,195 to send another guy off to his doom, things can get a little raunchy. 109 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:49,200 You fellows ever dress up farm animals in women's clothing? 110 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,289 No. 111 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,124 Well, then I'm one up on you. 112 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,675 Gentlemen. 113 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,304 You know what, 114 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,432 I was listening to a rock 'n' roll station on my way over here, 115 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,142 you know, to put me in the mood. 116 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:20,440 There was a passage in one of those tribal songs that I feel, 117 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,734 well, is the keynote this evening. 118 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,737 "Everybody have fun tonight. 119 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,950 Everybody Wang Chung tonight." 120 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,660 Yeah! 121 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,873 I think we got a madman on our hands here. 122 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,500 I had a nap. 123 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,170 You know, gentlemen, I can't tell you how touched I am 124 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,756 that you all, to a man, came back for my party. 125 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,508 We never left. 126 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,053 Boy, this is gonna be some night. 127 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,639 - A real guy night. - Yeah. 128 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,557 Check your X-chromosome at the door. 129 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,479 I wonder what the women are doing. 130 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,899 They're probably hanging around drinking some European coffee, 131 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,777 you know, Mocha Finland or the like. 132 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,113 Passing around a bunch of brownies, saying, 133 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,533 "No, I really shouldn't." And then stuffing their faces. 134 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,582 - To the man of the hour. - Hey, hey, all right, Frasier. 135 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,669 To Mr. Frasier Crane and to all the girls we've loved before. 136 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,382 I've loved quite a few. How about a fill-up? 137 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,343 Cliff ie, there's a big difference between loving women 138 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,096 and annoying them in the checkout line. Okay? 139 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,684 Women. They're tough to figure out. 140 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,229 Yeah, but they're sure fun to play with while you're trying. 141 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,650 If you guys could have one woman, any woman in the world, 142 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,694 - who would it be? - Oh, that's easy. 143 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,196 Kathleen Turner. 144 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,784 Give me Kim Basinger in Nine 1/2 Weeks. 145 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,327 Ten weeks, ten weeks. 146 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,538 Jill Eikenberry. 147 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,790 - Who? - You know, L.A. Law. 148 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,001 She's married to that short, dumpy guy on the show. 149 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,378 Something about her I like. 150 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,048 Lilith Sternin. 151 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,053 Loni Anderson. 152 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,681 Boy, she's got a set of oompahs that John Philip Sousa would kill for. 153 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,442 I swear to God. My very first time was in the sixth grade. 154 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,651 School crossing guard. 155 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,988 Hey, I'm serious. 156 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,282 Well, it was more exciting than my first time. 157 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,784 Wedding night, Norm? 158 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,078 The following week. 159 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,917 Hey, hey. Good news, guys. Wife said I don't have to go home till midnight. 160 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,711 Yeah, the bad news is she'll still be awake when you get there. 161 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,380 I don't know. Women, women. 162 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,257 You know, once they get their claws in you, 163 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,218 they just don't let go, you know what I mean? 164 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,470 I don't know Cliff. I wouldn't say that about all women. 165 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,180 I'm sure Loni Anderson doesn't do that. 166 00:09:58,807 --> 00:09:59,808 And I know my Lilith. 167 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,143 Why, just today, she presented me with an opportunity 168 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,020 to back out of the marriage if I so desire. 169 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,563 Now, is that blind faith or what? 170 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,067 - 'Uh-oh' what? - It seems to me 171 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,445 that she might have changed her mind and is just trying to let you down easy. 172 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,572 Well that's the most preposterous thing I've heard. 173 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,825 I don't know. Now, if you had a 200-pound marlin 174 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,660 and you're about to haul him on the boat, 175 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,788 would you stop and ask him if he wanted to go back in the water? 176 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,000 Be careful, Dr. Crane. This could be a trick question. 177 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,045 Now, I think the laws are different in each state. 178 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,592 Well, I certainly don't believe that's true in Lilith's case. 179 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,220 I don't know, Fras. Sammy could have a point there. 180 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,015 Do you really think Lilith wants me to back out? 181 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,893 - Could be, could be. - I'd think about it, doc. 182 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,688 Well, then let's just see how the night progresses. 183 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,815 Maybe Lilith Sternin will get her wish after all. 184 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,025 - Where is that stripper? - Yeah! 185 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,944 Let's get Bubbles or Peaches 186 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,738 or whatever her name is out here and have at her. 187 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,949 All right. 188 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:02,162 No, you stay right there. Yeah, like that. 189 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,599 We are amused. 190 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,623 - Karen! - Dr. Crane! 191 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,082 You know each other? 192 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,001 She's one of my patients. 193 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,383 Karen, I hope you're doing this for the money 194 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,386 because this certainly won't square things between you and your father. 195 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,898 I'm sorry I spoiled your party. 196 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,192 Oh, nonsense, Karen, you didn't spoil anything. 197 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,654 Under the circumstances, we understand. Don't we, guys? 198 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,201 There, you see? 199 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,704 - Well, bye-bye now. - Bye-bye. 200 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,709 Maybe I shouldn't get married. 201 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,128 Oh, come on, what are you talking about? 202 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:38,174 Well, it's time I realized that there are two Frasier Cranes: 203 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,760 Frasier the prospective groom, who sent Karen on her way, 204 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:44,055 and Frasier the pig who wanted to see her shake her nonnies. 205 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,642 You know, I've never revealed this to anybody, 206 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,186 but when Diane left me at the altar, I... 207 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,980 There was a tiny voice that kept saying, 208 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,148 "You're off the hook. You're off the hook." 209 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:58,778 Yeah. The only voice I heard was Vera's just yapping and yapping. 210 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,532 You ever notice it's always the women who wanna get married? 211 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,368 Yapping and yapping. 212 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,453 You know, when I think of all the unhappy people 213 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,414 whom I've counseled over the years, 214 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:14,836 whose lives have been scarred and destroyed by marriages badly cast, 215 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,879 I could write a book. 216 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,340 I have written a book. 217 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,052 Come on now, Fras. You're just having last-minute jitters. 218 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,595 Jeez, I don't know. 219 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,473 Maybe Lilith isn't the woman for me. 220 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,310 What do you think of her, guys? 221 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,564 Tell me, listen, I demand complete honesty. 222 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,859 Well, all right, doc, I'll be honest with you. 223 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,236 Ix-nay, ix-nay. 224 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:44,073 Oh, no, Normie, no. I just wish that I was there for you. 225 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,371 You know, 226 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,791 I was waiting for you to wise up there, doc, you know. 227 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,293 I mean, Lilith Sternin. 228 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,504 Even the name makes the old butt cheeks tighten up. 229 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,423 You know what I mean? 230 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,677 I mean, she is Olive Oyl without the good fashion sense. 231 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,889 - And that personality, jeez-- - Hey, come on, Cliff, that's enough. 232 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,058 - Yeah, you think so? - Yeah. 233 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,395 Sam, you know, you've been uncharacteristically mute. 234 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,105 Surely you have some opinion on this. 235 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,815 No, no. Do it, man. 236 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,735 I think you should walk off together into the sunset, you know. 237 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:21,944 Live happily ever after. 238 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,238 Translation: Frasier Crane, you're a complete fool 239 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,324 - if you get married. - I did not say that. 240 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,242 Listen Sam, I know exactly what you're thinking. 241 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,245 Every fiber of your body speaks it. You live it every day. 242 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:34,582 Give me one good reason why the single life is better than being married. 243 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,251 Okay. 244 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,922 Well, let's see, when I get home I don't have to explain to anybody 245 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,757 where I've been or what I've been doing. 246 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,509 If I was out having a good time, 247 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,595 I don't have to call home to see if I can stay later. 248 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,764 Oh, that reminds me. 249 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,642 There, right there. There you go. 250 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,019 See, that's what you're losing, man. Your freedom. 251 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,272 You know, I can eat doughnuts for dinner if I want to. 252 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,150 Nobody nags me to put down the toilet seat. 253 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,611 I am the king of my own remote control. 254 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:07,615 I can date anybody I want to, and if somebody better turns up-- 255 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,534 And somebody always does, bless their hearts, 256 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,452 then I can date them the very next night. 257 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,788 I don't have to worry about forgetting an anniversary. 258 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,707 No mother-in-laws, no father-in-laws. 259 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,960 No laws, period. 260 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,671 I only asked for one reason. 261 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,048 My God. 262 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,218 - I'm actually beginning to have doubts. - No. 263 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,805 You know, I've got to hear the voice of my beloved just to reassure me. 264 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,974 Woody, Woody, give me Rebecca's number 265 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,976 and hand me the phone, would you? 266 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:39,313 Oh, Dr. Crane, if Miss Howe answers, could you ask her something for me? 267 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:40,982 - What's that, Woody? - Ask her 268 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,984 if she has Prince Albert in a can. 269 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,820 Don't tell her it was me. 270 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,742 Hello? 271 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,328 Yeah, hello. Is that you, Carla? 272 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:55,830 Yeah, yeah, who is it? 273 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,542 It's Frasier. What's all that noise? What's going on over there? 274 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,253 We're making a quilt. 275 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,380 Well, can I speak to Lilith, please? 276 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,631 Well, is it important? 277 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,676 She's showing the male stripper where to put his things. 278 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,094 What? 279 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,222 I got to get back. 280 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,017 I got a bet this guy's packing socks. 281 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,063 She'll call you back sometime. 282 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,360 What happened? 283 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,529 Nothing. 284 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,323 Seems Lilith is indisposed at the moment. 285 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,325 She's helping to undress a male stripper. 286 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,120 - Male stripper? - Yeah. 287 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,789 Well, where do they put the tassels? 288 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,630 The thought of my Lilith having one last carnal fling 289 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,674 with some fellow in a Speedo is beyond belief. 290 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,511 I mean, just because some guy strips in her honor 291 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,888 doesn't mean they're gonna wind up in the sack together. 292 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,932 No, no, no, you don't know my Lilith. 293 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,851 I tell you, once her libido's cut loose, there's no tying her down. 294 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,437 Unless, of course, that's what's she's into for the evening. 295 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,566 - Right now she's with him. - Oh, hey, come on. Take it easy. 296 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,695 She's with that man. That sweating, chiseled, 297 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,156 - pulsing, throbbing, - Hey, hey, hey. 298 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,699 Sexy-- 299 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,873 crème de men the? 300 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,627 You couldn't find some water? 301 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,050 My God, Sam. 302 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,720 Do you realize what this means? 303 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,515 Well, I don't know the clinical term for it, 304 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,893 but it seems to me you were going a little scooters there. 305 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:47,858 I was jealous, Sam. I was insanely, blindly jealous. 306 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:52,071 If ever I needed a clearer, gut-level demonstration of my feelings, 307 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,948 I mean, that was it. 308 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:58,119 Yes, yes, it's perverted, yes, it's childish, but yes, it's love. 309 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,581 Maybe you ought to go see her right now. 310 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,082 I will, Sam. 311 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,501 There's just one matter that has to be rectified first. 312 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,673 Cliff, in light of my recent decision, 313 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,594 I now take of fence at your remarks about Lilith. 314 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,722 In short, I'm gonna kick your sorry butt. 315 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,352 Oh, no. Come on, doc. Just cool down, will you? It was just a joke. 316 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,855 Oh, you mean like that costume you wear every day? 317 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,613 All right, put up your dukes, Dr. Creampuff. 318 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,948 Okay, now we got a party. 319 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,036 All right, all right, before we start here, 320 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,871 let's just set a few ground rules, all right? 321 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:43,998 No punching in the face 322 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,958 because that can cause severe brain damage. 323 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,755 All right, just one other thing. No hitting below the belt. 324 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,465 I'm about to be married. 325 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,550 All right, all right. Fair enough. Fair enough. 326 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,973 All right, no hitting in the right shoulder. 327 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,476 That's my bag shoulder, all right? 328 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:14,111 What about the upper thigh area? 329 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,074 Well, I think we've covered that on page five over here. 330 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,911 - Yep. - Well, then where does that leave us? 331 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,622 I don't know. It's leaving me with writer's cramp, I tell you. 332 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,207 Well, let that be a lesson to you. 333 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:33,964 As for me, I'm gonna go back to my beloved, 334 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,175 throw my arms around her milky white shoulders 335 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,885 and let me tell you something, fellas, 336 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,595 I'm gonna tell her I'm devoted to her, 337 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,306 and that I'm dedicating the rest of my life to her. 338 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:43,849 Hello, everyone. 339 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,727 Frasier, is that you? 340 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:47,937 Good. 341 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,147 I hope this doesn't spoil the bachelor party, 342 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,691 but the engagement is off. 343 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,694 It's over, history, kaput. Good night. 344 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,737 - What? - She's kind of juiced. 345 00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:00,866 I can't be engaged to you, Frasier, because I'm marrying Randy here. 346 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,203 If anyone wants to get us a wedding gift, 347 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,747 his butt is this size. 348 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,170 Why don't you sit down, Dr. Sternin? 349 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,257 Oh, Dr. Sternin is a little formal, isn't it? 350 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,928 You can call me Sheena, Ruler of the Jungle of Love. 351 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:25,474 - Can somebody sober her up? - Hey, I think you lost a button. 352 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,190 We'll handle it from here. Thanks, Randy. 353 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,318 Happy to do it. There's still the matter of cab fare. 354 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,947 - Here. Here you go. - Great. Thanks. 355 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,907 See you. 356 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,201 Oh, Randy, don't leave me. 357 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,123 I'll never be able to hear "Shock the Monkey" again 358 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,958 without crying. 359 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:58,591 Lilith, what were you thinking of? 360 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,219 I'm sorry, Frasier, it's just that I felt the need to get back at you. 361 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,473 I waited all evening for you to call and say that the wedding was still on, 362 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,932 but you didn't, you cur. 363 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,935 I did call. Didn't Carla tell you? 364 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,856 She was too busy licking Bosco off Randy's chest. 365 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:19,278 I became increasingly more distraught and foolish as the night grew long. 366 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,906 Of course, the 11 tequila shooters didn't help. 367 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,701 And now the epilogue is that my behavior 368 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,829 has probably cost me the one man I truly love. 369 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,915 Well, you could probably still catch him. 370 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,879 Woody, I don't think you're following along closely enough. 371 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,884 Listen, you're not the only one who's behaved irrationally tonight. 372 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,930 Lilith, I want to marry you anyway. 373 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,100 - You do? - Absolutely. 374 00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:55,022 For the rest of my life, I will always cherish those words, 375 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:58,484 "Lilith, I want to marry you anyway." 376 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,366 Come, my sweet. Let's get on with our life together. 377 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:06,826 Oh, thank you all. 378 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,078 - Yeah, way to go, doc. - Good night, doc. 379 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:13,082 Oh, Lilith, just promise me two things. 380 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,709 Never leave me for another, 381 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:18,254 and don't throw up on me in the cab. 382 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:26,136 Well, guys, what do you think? What do we do now, huh? 383 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,515 - Well, I got to get home. - Yeah, I got to tell my wife too. 384 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,600 - Yeah, I'm out of here too. - Good night, Sam. 385 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,853 - Good night, Sam. - That reminds me. 386 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,855 I promised Vera I'd pick up some Chinese food. 387 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,273 That's nice of you, Norm. 388 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,359 Well, I spilled it on the floor this morning. 389 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:47,783 Yeah, well. I'll be saying good night there, Sammy. 390 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:50,452 I am married to the US Postal Service. 391 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,330 What the hell, Sammy, we all can't lead your carefree life. 392 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:54,915 - Well, good night. - Yeah. 393 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,597 - Party's over? - Yeah. 394 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:13,392 They all have women they have to run home to, the saps. 395 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,686 I just came back to lock up. 396 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,521 Oh, come on, hey, I always do that. 397 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,608 Oh, that's right. You're a real night owl, aren't you? 398 00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,985 Yeah, one of the great joys of being single. 399 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,695 You don't have to tell me. 400 00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:28,073 Those women at the shower, they have no idea how to have fun. 401 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,118 Five minutes after Randy left, they got into this heated debate 402 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,913 about which was better, mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. 403 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,582 It turned into a fistfight. 404 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,586 It's pathetic. Boy, you know, I'll never trade in the single life. 405 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:41,837 Me neither. 406 00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,756 - Good night, Sam. - Yeah, good night. 407 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,556 Freedom. 408 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:55,267 You wanna go get a cup of coffee? 409 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:57,603 You bet I do.