1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,379
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,509
Oh, it's a well-documented fact
that the female of the species

3
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,969
is irresistibly drawn
to men in uniform.

4
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,597
Just yesterday,
some lonely, frustrated housewife

5
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,349
saw me coming up the garden path.

6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,934
You know, peeking
through the window.

7
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,895
Then she tries to coyly titillate me
by pulling down the shade

8
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,897
so I wonder
what's going on behind it.

9
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:24,858
Let me dispel the mystery.
She was puking.

10
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,779
Carla, don't you get bored
just hanging around here all day

11
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,697
waiting to take cheap shots at me?

12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,574
Yeah, I should get a beeper.

13
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,702
All right, look, that's it.

14
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,163
I'm sick and tired
of being your whipping boy.

15
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,831
Today the worm turns.

16
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,416
You are not going
to insult me any longer

17
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,418
because I am not gonna
give you the chance.

18
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,879
As of from right now,
I am shutting up, zipping my lip.

19
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,011
And my friends support me.

20
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,294
You know something, chaps,

21
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,422
I had a particularly
fascinating session this morning.

22
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,093
No, honestly.

23
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,432
Someone I was seeing
for the first time.

24
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:25,187
Extraordinarily beautiful young woman
whose rather unique malaise

25
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:28,440
is to be aroused
to a sexual frenzy by...

26
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,693
Excuse me, I...

27
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,112
I don't really think I should
be discussing my patients here.

28
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,622
How about discussing them
over here?

29
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,127
Well, I suppose it wouldn't violate
any doctor-patient confidentiality

30
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,712
if I don't use names.

31
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,547
Another beer, Woody.

32
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,175
Thought you weren't gonna use
any names, Dr. Crane.

33
00:02:56,677 --> 00:03:00,472
Well, it seems this woman has
her passions inflamed

34
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,890
by men who dance.

35
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,768
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Men who dance?

36
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,977
That's weird.

37
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,813
What's even more bizarre

38
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,816
is that she will catapult herself
compulsively into the arms

39
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:14,277
of any man in, like,
tights or tap shoes.

40
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,737
Fascinating fixation.

41
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,866
Jeez, I gotta go. I'm sorry.

42
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,285
- Where are you going?
- My ballet class.

43
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,455
No, no, lunch.

44
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,832
That was a little psychological humor.

45
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,667
You know,
as my old professor used to say,

46
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,545
"If you can't laugh at your patients,
what fun are they?"

47
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,716
See you later. Norm.

48
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,468
- Morning, everybody.
- Norm.

49
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,138
Can I pour you a draft,
Mr. Peterson?

50
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,182
- A little early, isn't it, Woody?
- For a beer?

51
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:47,185
No, for stupid questions. Pour.

52
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,522
Would you believe
the board of directors is asking

53
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:54,192
for a breakdown of projected earnings
for the next six months?

54
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,611
Yes.

55
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,615
Oh, Rebecca,
I started painting Mr. Drake's house.

56
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,242
I wanna thank you
for that recommendation.

57
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,536
Oh, it was my pleasure, Norm.
How's it going?

58
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,496
Great, great.
He's out of town for a few days,

59
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,708
so I thought it'd be a good time
to get started in his bedroom.

60
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,668
I was doing a little prep work
over there.

61
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,880
I must say, that's a cute photo of you
he has next to his nightstand.

62
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,090
- What?
- Just kidding.

63
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,803
I will kill you, Norm.

64
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,306
You know,
I am over there all by myself,

65
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:27,684
so if you wanna drop by
and check any of the house out,

66
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,060
I can get you in.

67
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,646
No, I can't.

68
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,816
Oh, go on. You're dying
to look in his drawers.

69
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,945
That's right, he won't be there.

70
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,326
The last thing on my mind
is Evan Drake and where he sleeps.

71
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,036
Now, I don't wanna be distracted.

72
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,371
I gotta get these figures
in to the bed of directors.

73
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,873
Board of directors.

74
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,251
Shall we say in one hour?

75
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,711
I'll be there.

76
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,218
Excuse me,
I'm looking for Dr. Crane.

77
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,221
- He mentioned he'd be here.
- I'm sorry, you just missed him.

78
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,931
Oh, darn.

79
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,558
I had a session earlier today
and left a package in his office.

80
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,435
When I went back, it was locked.

81
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,978
Gee, I don't know what to tell you.

82
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,606
But then again, I don't know
what to tell most people.

83
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,652
Excuse me,
you had a session with him?

84
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,195
Why, are you a patient of his?

85
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,989
- That's right, why?
- Oh, just curious.

86
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,500
Well, it's not that important.
I just thought if I caught him,

87
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,127
- I could still get my package back.
- I understand perfectly.

88
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,094
Well, I'm out of luck.

89
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,429
I guess I'll just
have to stop by tomorrow.

90
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:52,435
<i>Gotta dance
Gotta dance</i>

91
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,689
- Why are you doing that?
- This?

92
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,861
I guess it's kind of an old reflex
with us hoofers.

93
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,364
- Oh, you're a dancer.
- Well, kind of.

94
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:08,118
My name's Sam Malone,
but people call me "Bojangles."

95
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,246
- Jennifer McCall.
- Jennifer McCall.

96
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,541
That's a beautiful name
for a beautiful girl.

97
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,002
Well, thank you. I have to be going.

98
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:20,088
Well, at least let me waltz you
to the door, here, all right?

99
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,256
All right.

100
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,925
I know I'm not very sophisticated,

101
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,344
but I don't think
what Sam is doing is right.

102
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,222
Well, look, don't you put
yourself down, Woodman.

103
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,807
I happen to agree with you.

104
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,143
I mean, standing around,
tending bar all day

105
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,770
is, like, the worst thing
a dancer can do for his calves.

106
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:42,027
Speaking of calves, Woody,

107
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,779
was it painful when the cow
kicked you in the head?

108
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,574
You get used to it.

109
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,953
Why don't I stop back
and we'll go to lunch?

110
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,747
I'm looking forward to it already.

111
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,712
Got a cramp.
Oh, God. Oh, Woody...

112
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,759
And here's his bedroom.

113
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,476
- I feel kind of queasy.
- Yeah.

114
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,562
Like I don't belong here,
like I'm doing something wrong.

115
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,564
I know, that's how I feel
in my bedroom.

116
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,570
I just feel kind of like
I'm trespassing.

117
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,949
Like I'm invading his privacy.

118
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,787
This is not right.

119
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,419
This is not right.
I should not be doing this.

120
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,297
I shouldn't.

121
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,217
I shouldn't, I shouldn't.

122
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,554
Would you like to be alone?

123
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,933
Sorry.

124
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,727
Well, as long as I'm here,

125
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,397
I guess it wouldn't hurt
for me to just look around a bit.

126
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:04,442
Sure. Now, I suggested Navajo White
but he went with Sandstone.

127
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,902
What do you think?

128
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,071
This is where he keeps
his clothes, isn't it?

129
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,949
Do you think anybody heard that?

130
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,660
- Like who?
- I don't know. I'm just nervous.

131
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,079
God, there's no way I could explain it
if I got caught.

132
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,247
How are you gonna get caught?

133
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:20,875
Because people always
get caught in this situation.

134
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,752
What if Evan comes back
unexpectedly?

135
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,379
Look, he's in Europe, okay?

136
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,548
You don't come back unexpectedly
from Europe.

137
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,843
You come back unexpectedly
from the movies or shopping.

138
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,594
But you don't come back unexpect...

139
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,723
What? What?

140
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,559
Oh, my God, it's Mr. Drake.
He's back unexpectedly from Europe.

141
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,105
- I have to get out of here.
- Norm, you here?

142
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,107
Yes, sir. Be right down, sir.

143
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,775
No, it's all right. I'm coming up.

144
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,445
- Oh, God.
- All right, come on.

145
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,742
- Norm.
- Oh, right, okay.

146
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,371
Norm, there you are.

147
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,539
Hi, sir.

148
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,583
What are you doing here, sir?

149
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,335
We wound up everything
in a marathon session.

150
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,962
I haven't slept for three days.

151
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,466
Three days? Let me take you out
for a cup of coffee, sir.

152
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,636
No. All I wanna do
is sleep for about a week.

153
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,680
- Shall I get your pajamas, sir?
- No!

154
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,267
- 'No"?
- No.

155
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,062
I thought you meant my pajamas.

156
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,357
No, they're too far away
from here

157
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,443
and I don't even think
they'd fit Mr. Drake.

158
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,114
Actually, I think you'll find a clean pair
of pajamas in the bag, Greyson.

159
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,578
- I thought you were gonna fix that.
- Yeah, that squeak.

160
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,663
I'm gonna fix that squeak, sir.
You should go to another room.

161
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,707
I may need to use the Jaws of Life.

162
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,835
No, just leave it, will you?

163
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,379
As a matter of fact,
forget the painting thing too.

164
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,216
I'm a light sleeper and I don't want
to hear rattling paint cans.

165
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,010
That's one thing I've never been
accused of, rattling my cans.

166
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,346
Please, I mean it, Norm, scoot.

167
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,643
Yes, sir.

168
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,649
So you're really a light sleeper, sir?

169
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,943
Yes, but I have
excellent hearing, Norm.

170
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,446
Yeah, most light sleepers do.

171
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,365
That's what makes them
light sleepers.

172
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,962
So you just left her in the closet?

173
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,048
Believe me, I did everything I could
to get the guy out of the room

174
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,967
for, like, one minute
but he wouldn't budge.

175
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,846
So you just left her in the closet?

176
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,099
There was nothing else
I could do, okay?

177
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,145
So you just left her in the closet?

178
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,022
Carla, it wasn't my fault, all right?

179
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,653
It's been at least an hour.
She should have snuck out by now.

180
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,197
Oh, come on,
she'd be here if she'd gotten away.

181
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,032
You gotta get her out of there.

182
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,202
Hey, look,
you think of it as an adventure.

183
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,954
Like she's the damsel in distress

184
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,874
and you are the knight
in shiny white armor

185
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,959
leaping upon your steed.

186
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,795
And driving it into the ground
up to its knees.

187
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,133
No, no. And saving the damsel.

188
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,097
I guess you're right
I gotta go do this.

189
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,184
Listen, Cliff ie,
if I'm not back in an hour,

190
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,727
go ahead and finish my beer.

191
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,145
This is your beer.

192
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,525
Sammy, I hear you got
a sure thing lined up, eh?

193
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,236
No, I never like to use the term
"sure thing."

194
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,405
I prefer the term "in the bag."

195
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,742
- Yeah.
- Why, what?

196
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,744
Sammy, come on, isn't this,

197
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,913
you know, pretending
to be a phoney-baloney dancer

198
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,664
a little bit beneath you?

199
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,083
When I go picking up girls,
I don't need all that stuff.

200
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,752
All I need is a wink and a smile.

201
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,962
And a rag doused with chloroform.

202
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,050
I don't know, Sammy.

203
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,219
It looks to me like you're getting
a little desperate.

204
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,803
What are you...
I'm not desperate.

205
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,139
I don't know
what you're talking about.

206
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,225
Ready, Sam?

207
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,477
Oh, hi, Jennifer.
Be right with you.

208
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,645
See you guys later.

209
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:15,735
Ready to go?

210
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,173
Mr. Drake. Mr. Drake, sir!

211
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,801
Sorry, sir, but Mr. Peterson said
it was an emergency.

212
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,345
- A what? Emergency?
- Yeah, structural, Evan.

213
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,764
A good thing I went back
and checked those blueprints.

214
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,432
This ceiling could go at any second.

215
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,518
- Ceiling?
- Yeah, it's a crack, sir.

216
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,271
Extends all the way into here.

217
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,189
Get me out of here.

218
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,651
What crack? There's nothing wrong
with that ceiling.

219
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,278
I'm only thinking of your safety, sir.

220
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,280
I'd feel much better
if you slept in a different room.

221
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,825
Peterson, get out.
And close that closet door.

222
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,412
Wait a minute. Many people prefer
to sleep with the closet door open.

223
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,290
Is something wrong with you?

224
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:16,879
Yeah, it's the paint fumes, sir.
They make me giddy.

225
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,093
I'm afraid they can
be hazardous to your health, sir.

226
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,054
Oh, nonsense. No one was ever killed
by paint fumes.

227
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,056
But they can cause brain damage.

228
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,516
Evidently.

229
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,436
Now get out of here.

230
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,355
Sir, I have some paint cans
in the closet there.

231
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,858
I'd feel much better for you
if I tightened those lids.

232
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,028
Whatever. Just do it.
Get out of here.

233
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,905
Norm, I'm so glad to see you.

234
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,198
You gotta get me out of here.

235
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,826
Every time I open the door,
it squeaks and he starts to wake up.

236
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,537
If he finds me here in the morning,
he will fire me, hate me

237
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:53,249
and he is never, ever,
gonna wanna be my boyfriend.

238
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,963
Norm, you talking to your paints?

239
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,090
Yes, I am, sir.

240
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,053
Just calm down, all right?
Calm down. Calm down.

241
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,096
Okay? Everything's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna get you out of...

242
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,139
Cashmere.

243
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,310
Here's my plan, okay?
I'm gonna walk out of here.

244
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,229
I'm gonna leave the closet door
yay bit open so it won't squeak.

245
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,939
Now, you wait till he's sound asleep,

246
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,275
- then you just walk out of here. Okay?
- Okay.

247
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,402
If you're hungry,
I brought you some chips.

248
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,779
"Cajun style"?

249
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,617
- Never mind, just go ahead.
- Okay, all right. Good luck.

250
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,501
- Is he asleep?
- Get lost.

251
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,669
Getting lost, sir.

252
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,549
Oh, like an open door
would really kill you, Greyson.

253
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,891
So you just left her in the closet?

254
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,562
I had a foolproof plan to get her
out of there

255
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,731
and the whole thing got spoiled
by this anal-retentive butler.

256
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,152
Mr. Peterson,
you gotta get her out of there.

257
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,698
How did I get myself into this?

258
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,116
I should have never
become a house painter.

259
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,285
I should have listened to my mother
and become a matador.

260
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,079
You know, Norm,
you were probably too logical.

261
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,205
What?

262
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,083
Yes, you see,
it's an established psychological fact

263
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,128
that the more outrageous
a lie one tells,

264
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,213
the more readily
will the victim believe it.

265
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,593
Now, see, if you told Mr. Drake
a sufficiently outlandish story,

266
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,219
odds are, he'd buy it.

267
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,931
- No, that's impossible.
- No, Woody, it's a stroke of genius.

268
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,725
Frasier, you're brilliant.

269
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,519
That is one of the most brilliant ideas
you've ever had,

270
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,606
- and you've had a lot of brilliant ideas.
- Thank you, Carla.

271
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,774
See, Woody, it works.
Bonehead bought it.

272
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,948
All right.

273
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,452
I guess I just gotta go do this.

274
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,912
Gotta do it.

275
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,121
If it doesn't work out,

276
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,624
tomorrow I'm gonna be shopping
for toreador pants.

277
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,210
Hey, where are you going?

278
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,670
I gotta get Rebecca
out of the damn closet.

279
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,757
You just left her in the closet?

280
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,347
Where's Frasier?
Man, I gotta talk to him.

281
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,307
- Where's your date?
- She's in my apartment.

282
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,643
I told her I was going out
for some ice.

283
00:16:58,809 --> 00:16:59,810
I don't know,
something's wrong here.

284
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:03,314
I've been dancing my brains out
and nothing, zilch, absolutely.

285
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:07,109
Frasier, you know that beautiful girl
you were treating this morning?

286
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,154
I treated two beautiful women
this morning, Sam. Which one?

287
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:13,491
- The one that had the hots for dancers.
- Yes, why?

288
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:17,662
Well, you didn't cure her
by any chance, did you?

289
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,081
You just don't cure someone overnight.

290
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,292
Most patients require
dozens of costly sessions

291
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,628
to make even minimal progress.

292
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,213
God, I love this profession.

293
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,635
Boy, I don't know, something's wrong.
Maybe it's my dancing.

294
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:40,476
You treated two beautiful girls
this morning?

295
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,398
What'd you treat the other one for?

296
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,275
Pyromania.

297
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,029
pyro... Pyromania.

298
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,307
My purse.

299
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,118
What?

300
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,046
No, no, stop. You can't go in there.

301
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,382
Get up, sir. Up, quick! Bees.

302
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,926
Killer bees are coming this way
from Mexico.

303
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,970
- And they're hopping mad, sir.
- Bees?

304
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,640
Yeah, those suckers could swarm
through here like a buzz saw.

305
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,642
Sir, you don't have any honey
in here, do you?

306
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,685
Peterson, get out of here.

307
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,147
And if you come back in here again,
I'm gonna have Greyson use his gun.

308
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,899
- Understood?
- Yes, sir.

309
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,609
He was talking to me,
okay, Greyson?

310
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,569
Look, sir, let me just
get your robe.

311
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,030
I'm very concerned
about these bees.

312
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,492
Well, never mind. They've gone.

313
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:24,080
Yeah, there they go. They're headed
up to Canada or someplace.

314
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,541
- Well...
- What is it?

315
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,085
Bee sting, they're back, sir.

316
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:34,256
Peterson, what the hell is going on?

317
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,760
Sir, I'm sorry.

318
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:42,264
I didn't wanna have to tell you this
but you're forcing me to.

319
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,183
Oh, please, tell it quickly.

320
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:48,062
If I don't sleep, I'll die.
And I'm gonna take you with me.

321
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,358
Actually, it's kind of personal.
Do you mind, Greyson?

322
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,403
- Sir?
- Anything that will get him out of here.

323
00:19:56,821 --> 00:20:00,282
Sir, to begin with, when I was
a little boy, I was very poor.

324
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,493
Peterson, I'm not going
to survive any story

325
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,412
that begins with
when you were little.

326
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:08,582
Oh, right. Sir, I've had this fantasy
that's haunted me all my life.

327
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,960
At night when I'm in bed,
it comes and torments me.

328
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,628
Oh, I know the feeling.

329
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:14,547
Yes, yes, I suppose you do.

330
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,549
Anyway, this is my fantasy, sir.

331
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,177
It's a little outrageous.
So just stay with me.

332
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:26,142
Even though I was born poor
and I'll never be a rich man,

333
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:30,271
somehow, it wouldn't make
any difference if one time,

334
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,023
sir, just one time,

335
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,859
just one darned time,

336
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,737
I could do something symbolic,

337
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:39,655
like...

338
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,201
...carry a rich man across the lawn
in his pajamas.

339
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,460
- Come here.
- I know, it sounds crazy, I know, sir.

340
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,878
Sir, I don't have a fever.

341
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,547
No, I know that.
I'm feeling for the lobotomy scar.

342
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,759
Sir, please, sir, please,
please, please.

343
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,969
- Please, sir.
- All right, all right, all right.

344
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:05,931
Look, if I actually let you do it,
would you promise me...

345
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,725
Would you swear
on your mother's grave

346
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,018
that you would let me sleep?

347
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,812
- Yes, I swear, I promise.
- You've gotta do more than promise.

348
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,566
You've got to give me
your solemn oath as a crazy person...

349
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,860
My oath, my vow,
my pledge, my bond.

350
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,112
Let's get it over with. Now let's get...

351
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,822
- Thank you so much, sir.
- All right.

352
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:26,827
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you so much, sir.

353
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,121
You know, sir,
I don't mean to flatter you,

354
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,666
- but you're very firm for your age.
- Yeah, yeah.

355
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,595
Thank you very much, sir.

356
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,264
It was everything
I dreamed it would be.

357
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:51,936
Hey, whoa, who made the bed?

358
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,604
- I did, sir.
- When?

359
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:56,023
The instant Mr. Drake
vacated the premises.

360
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,692
You mean you came in here
the instant we left

361
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,569
and you haven't left since?

362
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:11,997
Oh, sir.

363
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,458
Sir.

364
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:18,504
Sir.

365
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,923
I don't know
quite how to tell you this, sir.

366
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,593
We've gotta own up, sir.
I've gotta tell you the truth.

367
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,812
You should do that before you go
to sleep. Clears the lungs.

368
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,066
You'll sleep much better.
Sweet dreams.

369
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,496
Hi, sir.

370
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,748
Oh, I knew it, I knew it.
You broke your word.

371
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,209
- No, sir.
- You lied to me, Norm.

372
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:01,255
No, sir. I went back to the bar to tell
a friend about my dream coming true.

373
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,799
Since none of their dreams have,
they wouldn't believe mine.

374
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,802
- Why are you doing this to me? Why?
- My dream is to have people know

375
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:09,430
that I carried a rich man
across the lawn in his pajamas.

376
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:12,099
- You're going to hurt me.
- No, sir, I just need witnesses.

377
00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:15,477
I've got several lined up outside.
Greyson would fill out the troop nicely.

378
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:18,355
Just a couple minutes. Then it'll be
all over, sir. You can sleep.

379
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:21,025
This isn't happening to me.
This is a nightmare.

380
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,485
- Don't worry about it, sir.
- I never...

381
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,907
We're going out now,
but only for a minute.

382
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,326
Will there be any more bees?

383
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,661
Oh, no, sir.
You shut your eyes now.

384
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,538
All gone. All gone.

385
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,502
Hey, guys, here they come.
Here they come.

386
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:43,380
- They're coming.
- Line up. Here they come.

387
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,926
Yes, bravo. Very good. Well done.

388
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:49,428
Great. Well done.