1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,630
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,800
Cliff ie, new <i>Weekly Gabber,</i> I see?

3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,178
Yeah, you betcha, Normie.
Look at this headline here,

4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,306
"Suicidal Twin Kills Brother
By Mistake."

5
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,560
Oh, Cliff, you don't actually believe
that pack of lies, do you?

6
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,687
Well, Dr. Crane, it just shows you
how much you know

7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,523
about the free press
here in America.

8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,234
I mean, you can't print it
unless it's the truth.

9
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,652
All right, granted,

10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,695
some of these stories might be
a bit exaggerated,

11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,241
but I guarantee you at the core of each
is the kernel of truth.

12
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,825
Allow me to demonstrate. Hey.

13
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,036
Hey, come here,
young fellow. Listen,

14
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,913
I just won five bucks
in the lottery.

15
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,373
Pass it on, will you?

16
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,083
Hey, thanks a lot.

17
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,169
All right, the truth has begun
its journey now around the bar.

18
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,838
When it returns, it may be
a little bit distorted, you know.

19
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,550
People will be saying
I won 500, maybe 5,000,

20
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,842
maybe 5 million dollars,

21
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,762
but I guarantee you
the essence of the message

22
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,180
will be the truth.

23
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,099
Hey, Norm, get this.

24
00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:00,477
Some geek-brain's all jazzed
because he just won five bucks.

25
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,107
<i>Touché.</i>

26
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,140
Listen up, everyone.

27
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,726
One of the most influential reviewers
in the city

28
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:26,313
has been going around to different
bars in the area reviewing them.

29
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,148
Need I say more?

30
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,233
Yes.

31
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,780
Woody, in case he comes in here,

32
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,032
I want everybody
on his best behavior.

33
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,451
Oh, gee, does this mean
we're gonna have to cancel

34
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,578
the midget tossing contest?

35
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:45,415
Sam, please don't joke about this.
This really means a lot to me.

36
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,125
Don't worry about it.
I'm sure we'll do great.

37
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,711
As long as the reviewer
doesn't happen to be that SOB

38
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,380
Murray Treadwell.
You remember him?

39
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,467
Well, I'm not saying it is,
but what if it were?

40
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,761
Well, then you better
kiss your butt goodbye.

41
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,265
Actually, that sounds more
like a job for me, doesn't it?

42
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,853
What's the matter with him?

43
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,523
He's a hater.
The guy hates everybody.

44
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,024
I hate people like that.

45
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,651
Yeah.

46
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,986
He gave Cheers a really bad review
a couple of years ago.

47
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,698
Oh, really bad.
Yeah, I almost stopped coming here.

48
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,784
What did he say?

49
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:24,037
- Well, "A bar full of boors."
- Yeah, "Oafish clientele."

50
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,664
"Dumb lug of a bartender."

51
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:26,915
We're under new management here.

52
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,710
- A lot of things have changed.
- Like what?

53
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,839
We have ferns.

54
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,051
- Didn't he say anything nice?
- As a matter of fact, he said,

55
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,554
"Their one saving grace
was the refreshing lack of ferns."

56
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,015
You guys are just trying to rattle me.

57
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,600
With the changes I've instituted,

58
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,477
and with Carla locked
in the storage closet,

59
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,603
everything is gonna be fine.

60
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,565
Eighty-six the ferns, Woody.

61
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,568
Hi, guys.

62
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,571
Oh, Carla, Eddie called
and said he got a job as a penguin.

63
00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,823
Great.

64
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,742
Hey, did you hear that, everybody?

65
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,661
My husband just hooked on
with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

66
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,329
- All right.
- Hey, that's great.

67
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,707
Pittsburgh, they're
an up-and-coming club, huh?

68
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:12,002
And I'd say Eddie LeBec is on his way
to becoming a legend.

69
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,505
Hey, Cliff, what a great thing
to say. Thanks.

70
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,966
And I meant every word of it, Carla.

71
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,259
Can Eddie get us tickets?

72
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,679
You know what I like best
about that team?

73
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,181
- What?
- Is their uniforms.

74
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,600
I mean, the Penguin uniforms
are far and away

75
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,976
the coolest in the league.

76
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,978
Hey, everybody.

77
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,401
- Eddie?
- Who else could it be?

78
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,527
Wow, Carla,

79
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,988
are their home uniforms
that neat-looking too?

80
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,949
Hey, Carla, listen.

81
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,495
It's been breaking me up, you know,
not being able to find work.

82
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,914
Not being able to support
you and the kids.

83
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,374
It's like I was losing myself
as a man.

84
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,211
Well, now, you know, I got a job.

85
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,923
- Aren't you proud of me?
- Eddie, take off your beak.

86
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,052
This is a joke, right?
You're with Pittsburgh.

87
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,387
Pittsburgh? No.

88
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,473
I'm with the Wonderful World of Ice.

89
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,350
You know, that big ice show.

90
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,435
They're hiring lots
of hockey players like me.

91
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,188
Yeah, at least you won't have to worry
about renting a tux, Eddie.

92
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,818
Yeah, what are they paying you, Ed?
Seven, eight fish a day?

93
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,030
Hey, you guys, knock it off.
He's got himself an honest job.

94
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,407
He gets paid.

95
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,617
He...

96
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,244
Come on, help me out here, man.

97
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,871
All right, all right, can it, you clowns.

98
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,666
You know, a lot of people
criticize hockey players.

99
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,836
They say they're wasting their time.
After their careers are over,

100
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,587
they're not prepared for anything.

101
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,381
Well, my Eddie
just proved them wrong.

102
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,924
Thank you, Carla.

103
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,135
You walked around
in public in that thing?

104
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,596
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

105
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,684
Listen, Carla,
I got to fly to Seattle tomorrow.

106
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,270
You can't fly in that thing, can you?

107
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,858
No, Woody,
I'm going on an airplane.

108
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,194
I know. I mean, you aren't gonna fly
in that thing, are you?

109
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,822
Seattle? I just...

110
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,491
I can't believe
you're gonna be that far away.

111
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,368
Well, you know,
it won't be that long.

112
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,287
Look, I'll call you every day.

113
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,747
Hey, maybe you'll wanna come out
and see me, huh?

114
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:16,459
Yeah. Yeah, well, you know,
it's really a long way, Eddie.

115
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,295
We'll talk about it tonight, okay?

116
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,755
- What do you want for dinner?
- I don't know.

117
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,799
I kind of got the urge for mackerel.

118
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,469
Gee, I'm sure gonna miss you, Carla.

119
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,638
Well, who wouldn't?

120
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,224
You know,
not to be overly sentimental,

121
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,436
but you're the best husband I ever had.

122
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,479
- I'll see you, Carla.
- Yeah.

123
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,024
See you, penguin.

124
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,736
I wonder where couples
get those cute little names

125
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,237
they call each other.

126
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,205
Well, soon.

127
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,208
But, Eddie, look,
I just can't fly out of here.

128
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,961
Are you forgetting, I got seven kids.

129
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,588
Oh, right, eight.

130
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,466
Look, I'd love to talk to you some more,

131
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,426
- but Sam's calling me.
- What?

132
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,054
Be right there, Sam.

133
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,515
Okay, I'll talk to you
tomorrow then. Bye.

134
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,185
Oh, yeah, Carla,
I couldn't help but notice

135
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,647
that Eddie calls you every single day
asking you to go out there,

136
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,231
and you just keep giving him
the brush-off.

137
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,026
I mean, hey,
what gives there, little lady?

138
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:27,697
Drop it or I'll set your face on fire
and beat out the flames with your butt.

139
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,786
Well, does that satisfy
your curiosity, Cliff?

140
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:38,333
Totally, but it does raise
a series of other questions.

141
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,505
Hey, that restaurant critic guy's here.

142
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,131
- Where?
- Right there. See?

143
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,425
Oh, my God. How do I look, Sam?

144
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,970
Well, you got a little drool
on the corner of your mouth there.

145
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,429
No, leave it.

146
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,140
- I better go see what he wants.
- No, relax, Carla's got it.

147
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,600
Oh, my God.

148
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,985
- Carla, you don't mind, do you?
- Not at all.

149
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,654
When you're through,
there's a table of six in the corner.

150
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,240
Hello.

151
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,368
You're Murray Treadwell,
aren't you?

152
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:17,288
Yes, and you must be
one of the Flying Wallendas.

153
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,875
No, I'm Rebecca Howe.
I'm the new manager here.

154
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,253
I hope you enjoy your visit here.

155
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,005
Oh, I'm sure I will.

156
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,633
- Would you like a drink?
- That seems vaguely appropriate.

157
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,968
I'll get it.

158
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,179
You probably want
something specific.

159
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,598
How about a vodka martini?

160
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,642
Excellent choice. Anything special?

161
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,021
Stirred, shaken, two olives?
A little sword?

162
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,107
- I'd like it today.
- Coming right up.

163
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,359
Vodka martini for Mr. Treadwell
and make it snappy.

164
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,904
Oh, no. That's the one drink
I don't know how to make.

165
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,205
- Things seem to be going very well.
- Yeah.

166
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,749
Just make sure he gets a napkin.

167
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,877
We only lost about a thousand points
on that last time.

168
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:08,173
As if it would've really killed him
to use the paper towels.

169
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,300
Thank you, Sam.

170
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,011
Here you go, Mr. Treadwell.

171
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,638
Notice the cocktail napkin.

172
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,807
There's plenty more
where that one came from.

173
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,147
- Very nice.
- Yes, we make a good martini here.

174
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,899
Oh, that too.

175
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,236
Very sweet of you.

176
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,988
Do you have any questions
about Cheers?

177
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,326
Actually I do, but unfortunately
I'm running a little bit late.

178
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,662
Would you, by any chance,
be free for dinner tonight?

179
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:40,914
Dinner?

180
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,583
Yes, it's the third meal of the day.

181
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,960
We could find
somewhere nice and quiet

182
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,629
where we wouldn't be disturbed.

183
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,089
I don't know...

184
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,842
You know, the more time
you and I spend together,

185
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,804
the happier I think
you'll be with the review.

186
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:00,433
Will you excuse me a minute?
I just wanna check my schedule.

187
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,775
He wants me
to have dinner with him.

188
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,153
That means he expects
something for a good review.

189
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,446
I'll get the petty cash.

190
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:21,287
Sam, he wants me
to compromise myself.

191
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,081
Honey, we all do.

192
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,836
Why do I even talk to you?
I'm not gonna make a big deal of this.

193
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,462
It's just gonna be
another business dinner.

194
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,840
- That's all. Everything will be fine.
- Listen, listen.

195
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:35,718
If one thing should lead
to another tonight and you wake up

196
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,971
and find out you've done something
you wish you hadn't,

197
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,472
I just want you to know

198
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,474
I'd love to take you out
tomorrow night.

199
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,188
Sir, I stand by my original review.

200
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,440
The Hungry Heifer is a trough.

201
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,692
Okay, fine.

202
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,735
But listen, if you can find
a better 25-ounce steak

203
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,613
for a buck ninety-nine, pal,
you just let me know, all right?

204
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,244
I'd be happy to have dinner
with you tonight.

205
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,037
Great, I'll pick you up at 7.

206
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,498
Terrific. I'll see you then,
Mr. Treadwell.

207
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,584
Please, call me Murray.

208
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,464
All right, all right, sure thing, Eddie.

209
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,633
Okay. Listen, break a wing.

210
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,512
I know, you hate those jokes.

211
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,140
Listen, just keep a stiff upper beak.

212
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,977
I'm sorry. All right, bye-bye.

213
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,395
Oh, hey.

214
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,023
Well, that was your husband
on the phone there, Carla.

215
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,151
- Why was he calling you?
- Well, he's upset.

216
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,196
He wanted me to ask you...
Find out why, you know,

217
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,530
you won't go see him.

218
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,365
How can I, Sam?

219
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,035
I can't afford
a plane ticket to Seattle.

220
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,536
Well, I could loan you the money.

221
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,581
Well, great,
but who could get the time off?

222
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,375
If it's for the sake of your marriage,
we can work something out.

223
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,712
If you'd like to take a leave of absence
for, say, a year, that would be fine.

224
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,548
I... Really, I don't know why
everybody thinks

225
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,885
I can just pick myself up and go.
I got two newborn babies.

226
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,262
- Take them. Tykes fly free.
- Yeah,

227
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,931
usually in the seat right next to me.

228
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,267
Look, I can't go,
so let's just drop it, okay?

229
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,437
Gee, I just came up
for a drink order.

230
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,857
Carla, Eddie's afraid
that you're ashamed of him.

231
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,026
- Well, I'm not.
- Well, tell him, don't tell me.

232
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,152
I will!

233
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,655
The minute he gets back.

234
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,407
You're not afraid to fly,
are you, Carla?

235
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,203
Me? Afraid to fly? Me?

236
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,008
Well, it must be something.

237
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,481
I am not afraid to fly. I'm not.

238
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,235
I'm afraid to crash.

239
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,446
Did you have
a bad experience flying?

240
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,906
Yes, I did.

241
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,659
First time on an airplane.

242
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,620
I was on my honeymoon with Nick.

243
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,207
We were going to New York.
Short flight, no problem, right?

244
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:14,961
Well, suddenly the plane
hits turbulence, right?

245
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,839
Me and Nick were thrown
all around that bathroom.

246
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,511
I haven't flown since.

247
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,596
Sweetheart, that was just one time.
I mean, look at me.

248
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,725
When I was playing ball
I must have flown 200,000 miles.

249
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,810
And I don't remember
anything happening.

250
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,186
That's because
you were always drunk.

251
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,064
Damn right.

252
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,734
- Good afternoon.
- Hey.

253
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,319
- Oh, hey, Frasier.
- Hey, doc.

254
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,529
You're just the man
I'm looking for here.

255
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,031
Yearning for my camaraderie, Sam,

256
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,283
or do you want some
free psychiatric advice?

257
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,701
That free thing there.

258
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,829
Yeah, come on,
what do you say, Carla?

259
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:53,166
Oh, no way, Sam.
I like my head this size.

260
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,209
Just keep him away from me.

261
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:59,130
- He's the only shrink we know.
- Stop, Sam, you're embarrassing me.

262
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,466
Well, what's the problem?

263
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,885
Well, Carla wants to visit Eddie
on the West Coast,

264
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,595
but she's afraid to fly.

265
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,306
Well, do you mean by
"afraid to fly,"

266
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:12,060
what, that she's claustrophobic,
agoraphobic or acrophobic?

267
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,686
Deathophobic.

268
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:15,980
Well, you know, Carla,

269
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,274
I've done a lot of reading lately
about fear of flying.

270
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,193
I've always wanted
to conduct a workshop

271
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,153
for people with your problem.

272
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,573
I'm sure I could scare up
a few people like you.

273
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,658
Oh, no pun intended.

274
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,369
None noticed, I am sure.

275
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,163
No way, Frasier.

276
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,165
I am not gonna wind up
in your office

277
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,502
strapped to some table
with electricity shot through my head.

278
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,670
Carla, that's not part of the therapy.

279
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,589
Oh yeah? What about Diane?

280
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,843
Now, look, I never treated Diane
with any kind of shock inducement.

281
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,304
Of course, now I wish I had.

282
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:52,767
No, not really.

283
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:56,854
The key to this therapy,
you see, is desensitization.

284
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,857
Over a period of sessions,
we slowly break down your fears

285
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,317
until you are ready to get on a plane

286
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,195
and at the end,
we all take an actual flight.

287
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,697
Yeah? Well, fly this, Orville.

288
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,785
- Cheers.
<i>- Hey, Sam.</i>

289
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:14,038
Oh, hey, Eddie. Long time no hear.
Yeah, how are you doing?

290
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,375
<i>Oh, the show? It's okay.
It's kind of a hockey players' reunion.</i>

291
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,128
Listen, did you talk to her, Sam?
I mean, what did she say?

292
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,046
<i>No, listen. No, the problem, Eddie,</i>

293
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:25,758
<i>is not that she's afraid to see you.
It's that she's afraid to fly.</i>

294
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,301
Carla afraid?

295
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,720
I mean, Carla's not afraid
of anything, Sam.

296
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,556
See, that's just an excuse.

297
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,100
I mean, she's ashamed of me.
And you know something?

298
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,185
It's just not worth it. I'm gonna quit.

299
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,437
No, wait, hold on, hold on.

300
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,063
Listen, he's so sure
that you're ashamed of him

301
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,481
that he wants to quit.

302
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,567
- Really?
- Yes.

303
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,277
Give me this phone.

304
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:45,903
Eddie?

305
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,741
I'm coming to see you.

306
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,494
I'll be there in about a week.

307
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,288
Really? Oh, gee, Carla,

308
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,498
I got the biggest smile
you ever saw on my face.

309
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,125
I wish you could see me.

310
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,546
Eddie?

311
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,721
Now, before we take off,
I'd like to commend you.

312
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,639
It's been an intense week.

313
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,309
But here we are, finally,
at the end of our journey.

314
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,521
Or should I say, perhaps,
the beginning of the end...

315
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,274
...of our journey.

316
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,234
Well, I guess we're all set.

317
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,028
Let's get this show on the road.

318
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,322
Dr. Crane, I hope you don't mind.

319
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,991
I brought along a little
St. Christopher's medal.

320
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,994
- Well, no, if that helps you, it's fine.
- Oh, great.

321
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,663
Does anybody else want one?

322
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,791
Now, now, Carla,
all religious artefacts must be stored

323
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,376
either below the seat
in front of you

324
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,794
or in the overhead bins.

325
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,381
There now, isn't this fun, huh?

326
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,674
Now,

327
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,718
we're gonna take off
in a few minutes, so,

328
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,386
what should we all be doing?

329
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,847
People?

330
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:59,268
Well, we should be focusing
on our happy place.

331
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:05,650
That place where we'd most like to be,
where we're most relaxed.

332
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,652
Can you see it?

333
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,612
Excuse me, sir,
we'll be taking off shortly.

334
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,906
- Would you please sit down?
- Oh, yes, just a moment.

335
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,242
All right, now, you're
in your happy place.

336
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,578
You're at peace with the world.

337
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,039
Oh, God.

338
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,666
Now, now.
Just stay in your happy place.

339
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:26,003
If it's the beach,
just imagine that that sound

340
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,214
is the gentle rippling of the water.

341
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,008
Carla, where is your happy place?

342
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,387
Laying flat on my stomach
clutching the earth with both hands.

343
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,138
Good, good.

344
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,392
Oh, no. Dr. Crane, I...

345
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,270
I've forgotten
where my happy place is.

346
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,564
Now, I think yours
was in the Berkshires.

347
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,982
Mine is in the Berkshires.

348
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,817
Look, everybody's
can be in the Berkshires if they like.

349
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,948
The Berkshires is an expansive
and wonderful wooded wonderland.

350
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:58,494
It's gonna go up like a Roman candle
when this baby crashes into it.

351
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,330
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
we've been cleared for takeoff.</i>

352
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:05,334
<i>So please sit back and relax.
Thanks for flying with us.</i>

353
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,712
Did he say,
"Thanks for dying with us"?

354
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,298
Now just relax.

355
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,258
I'll be sitting right here beside you.

356
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,803
If you get a little nervous,
go ahead and grab onto me.

357
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,778
- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!

358
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,363
What's the story, Mr. Peterson?

359
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,657
"The Bobbsey Twins
Go to the Brewery."

360
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,784
Let's just cut to the happy ending.

361
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,747
Hey, we got the Cheers
review today.

362
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,957
Oh, God, here it comes.

363
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,586
Well, at least you'll all know
I didn't compromise myself.

364
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,714
And that we probably got
a horrendous review, and I'll get fired.

365
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,717
I can still look at myself
in the mirror and say,

366
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,302
"Would it have killed you?"

367
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,181
"Hurrah, hurrah, for Cheers,
the best bar in Boston."

368
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,808
You slept with him.

369
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,061
I did not.

370
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,314
"Warm, inviting, a delight
from top to bottom."

371
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,067
- The bar or you?
- I did not sleep with him.

372
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,111
Oh, stop it. I think I respect you
more now than I ever did.

373
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,739
I did not sleep with him.
You just have a filthy mind.

374
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,033
Nobody else in here thinks that,
so just shut up.

375
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,534
How was he?

376
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,873
I did not sleep with him.

377
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,586
Yeah, Cheers.

378
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,172
As a matter of fact, she is.
Hold on one second.

379
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,382
It's your boss.

380
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,009
Hello. Mr. Drake.

381
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,637
Did you happen to catch
our remarkable review?

382
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,765
Good? Oh, it was fantastic.

383
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,351
Yes, we're all very proud.

384
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,019
Yeah, well, you know,
we worked pretty hard...

385
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,648
No, I did not sleep with him.

386
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:56,946
Good air in.

387
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,158
And the bad air out.

388
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,912
That's good.
Nice, easy breathing. Yeah?

389
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,497
There, don't you all feel better?

390
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,875
All right, now.
Now, remember what we learned.

391
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,506
That's just a little kitty-cat.

392
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:19,969
C-A-T, clear air turbulence.

393
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,472
Now that you're all relaxed,

394
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:27,309
we can take this opportunity
to, well, further discuss

395
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,521
the irrationality of our fears.

396
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:37,069
- Anyone?
- I just wish I had more control.

397
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:40,573
I think I'd feel better
if I were flying the plane.

398
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,033
- Trust me, that doesn't help.
- How do you know?

399
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,744
I was a pilot for this airline.

400
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,328
- You were?
- Yeah.

401
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,249
I was flying a jumbo jet. Full plane.

402
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,252
Then it occurred to me
that all these people

403
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,589
had their lives in the hands
of someone like me.

404
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,549
I couldn't go up again.

405
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,677
Forget the pilots.
What about those mechanics, huh?

406
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,721
What if one of those guys
has a bad day?

407
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,682
- Forgets to screw in a lug nut?
- They're trained technicians.

408
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:10,686
- Aren't they in a labor dispute?
- Well, yes, but it's almost over.

409
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,480
What happens if we get hit
by lightning?

410
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,440
I'm sure the plane
is designed to handle that.

411
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,610
Or if a teeny tiny little bird
gets in the engine?

412
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,529
Carla, what bird would be flying
at 30,000 feet?

413
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,072
We're at 30,000 feet?

414
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,075
This plane is too heavy
to be up that high.

415
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,077
If anything happens,
we're all just gonna drop

416
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,164
- like spit off the Prudential Building.
- Now you're being silly.

417
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:33,417
- Listen, statistics prove that this...
- The hell with statistics.

418
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:37,129
Does the words "ice on the wings"
mean anything to you?

419
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:41,300
Oh, look, now that is simply
the sun glinting off the wings.

420
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,511
Does that look like ice to you?

421
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,603
Will you stop
that incessant caterwauling?

422
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,192
Why aren't they serving drinks?

423
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,987
- Hey, Fras, you okay?
- I'm fine, fine.

424
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,740
- You look a little green.
- I'm perfectly all right.

425
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,410
Where is that damn cocktail cart?

426
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,540
- What was that?
- What?

427
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:13,791
That pinging noise.

428
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,086
I heard it. I heard a ping.
A ping, ping.

429
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,296
What, have you all
gone deaf or something?

430
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:20,756
Hey, ease up.

431
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,677
- Do you feel cold air rushing in?
- No.

432
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,554
My God, there's a leak
in the fuselage.

433
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,432
- Calm down, Frasier.
- Oh, God, look! It's the wings!

434
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,935
They're flapping around
like a wounded duck!

435
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,270
We're all gonna die!

436
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,313
Frasier, you're not
in your happy place.

437
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,566
What, do you mean in a grave?
We're going down.

438
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,818
We're going down!
I've got to get out of here!

439
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,778
Mommy. Mommy!

440
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:44,238
Frasier.

441
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:52,288
Honest, Eddie,
I'm flying out tomorrow night. Yeah.

442
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,208
Frasier's class taught me
how stupid it was to be afraid of flying.

443
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,297
Me too. I can't wait
to get you alone,

444
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:05,134
strip you out of that penguin outfit,
and climb all over you.

445
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:09,346
We're sharing a room
with the three little pigs?

446
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,309
Well, they're used
to huffing and puffing.

447
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,353
All right, see you then.

448
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:18,606
Sam, you don't really think

449
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:19,982
Miss Howe did anything
she shouldn't have

450
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,860
- to get a good review, do you?
- No, of course not.

451
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,236
Then why do you keep teasing her?

452
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,030
Haven't you ever noticed

453
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:28,574
how her chest kind of heaves
when she's angry?

454
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,077
I always avert my eyes.

455
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,040
- You're kidding me.
- No.

456
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,667
I'm a leg man.

457
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,589
Excuse me, miss.

458
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,216
I couldn't help but overhear
your conversation.

459
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,302
I've had a fear of flying for years,

460
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:51,513
and I think it's time
that I confronted it.

461
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,725
How can I get into that class
that worked miracles for you?

462
00:23:54,892 --> 00:23:58,687
Hey, I can do better than that.
The doctor's over there. Hey, Fras?

463
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,814
I'm in my happy place.

464
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,902
Sign up early.