1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:04,379
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,299
Payday. Payday.

3
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,801
Sam, Carla, Woody.

4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,472
Oh, come to papa, baby.
Boy, have I got plans for you.

5
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,182
No kidding, what are you gonna do?

6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,142
Put it in the bank.

7
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,353
Oh, don't get arrested, buddy.

8
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,147
Hey, Shoulder Pads, freeze.

9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,861
- Yes, Carla?
- I seem to be a little short.

10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,697
Yes, but you have
a warm personality.

11
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,159
When you added up my paycheck,
I think you forgot

12
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,620
to count a couple of fingers and toes.

13
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,373
Oh, I'm afraid I had to dock you
two and three-quarters hours

14
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,874
for being late last week.

15
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,001
I had good excuses.

16
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,170
Three deaths in the family
since Monday?

17
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,923
It's been a bad week.

18
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:51,134
Carla, here's a little
time-management trick that I use.

19
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,428
I set my watch ahead a half an hour.

20
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,931
That way, when I think I'm getting
someplace on time,

21
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,767
I'm actually fooling myself
into getting there early.

22
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,770
You know, that makes
good business sense, boss.

23
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,147
I guess if I set my watch
an hour ahead,

24
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,692
- it'd be twice as good, huh?
- Right.

25
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,902
Hey, what do you know,
it's lunchtime.

26
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No wonder I'm so hungry.

27
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What you reading, Cliff ie?

28
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The <i>Massachusetts Scientific Journal.</i>

29
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- Yeah?
- Yeah.

30
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You know, this magazine is sent
to some of the most prestigious

31
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,575
and high-minded intellectuals
in the greater metropolitan area.

32
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How come you have it?

33
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,289
Some guy on my route left town
and didn't leave a forwarding address.

34
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,126
Oh, hey, Carla, lookie here.

35
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,004
It says the Britain institute's
doing research on twins.

36
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Maybe you can get

37
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your gruesome twosome
in there, huh?

38
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Yeah, right,
like I got nothing better to do

39
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,596
than schlep little Elvis
and Jesse around.

40
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,767
Especially so some pointy-heads
can plug electrodes into their skulls

41
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,186
to see what makes them slobber.

42
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,439
That's too bad.
They're offering 50 bucks apiece.

43
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,109
I always wondered
what makes them slobber.

44
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,445
Sorry I'm late.

45
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,239
Where's Sam?

46
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,366
He's upstairs having lunch
with Evan dreck.

47
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,744
Oh, God, Mr. Drake shows up
on a day that I'm late?

48
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,664
Well, don't worry, I covered for you.
Told him you were drunk.

49
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,087
What does this mean?

50
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,965
When did Evan
start taking Sam to lunch?

51
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,592
When did the two of them
become good friends?

52
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,636
When did I start talking to myself?

53
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,849
Hey, maybe he's gonna put Sam
in charge of the bar again.

54
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,351
What? Don't make me laugh.

55
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,270
Sam, I'm serious
about that offer, now.

56
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,021
I wanna move you up.
What do you say?

57
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,232
Oh, boy, sounds tempting.

58
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,068
The more I see you behind that bar,
the more convinced I am

59
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,820
that your talents are being wasted.

60
00:03:56,987 --> 00:04:00,282
Yeah, I know, but they
won't let me bring a bed in here.

61
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,201
Yes, boy, thank you.

62
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,078
- Great, great.
- Of course I will.

63
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,788
I'll get the ball rolling.

64
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,916
Hello, Mr. Drake.
It's so wonderful to see you again.

65
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,418
Yeah, I'm gonna use your phone.

66
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:16,381
You scum-sucking,
power-hungry, backbiting creep.

67
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,384
- You stole my job.
- No, come on, that's not true.

68
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,845
But I will bite your back
for you if you want.

69
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,181
Oh, well, then what were you talking
to Evan about?

70
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,975
He offered me an executive position
down at headquarters.

71
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,770
You scum-sucking,
power-hungry, backbiting creep.

72
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,023
Hi, Mr. Drake.
I was just congratulating Sam.

73
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,733
Great. It's all set, Sam.

74
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,194
Hey, listen,
I'm really excited about this,

75
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,904
but are you sure that I'm qualified?

76
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,239
I mean, you know,
I never even finished college.

77
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,784
- How far did you get?
- Halfway through the application.

78
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,620
- I still have it here.
- No, that's okay. You're qualified.

79
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,413
- See you tomorrow.
- All right.

80
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,375
Something funny is going on here.

81
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,961
Why did he hire Sam?

82
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,298
Why is he making him an executive?
What's the matter with me?

83
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,843
Well, for one thing, Miss Howe,
you talk to yourself an awful lot.

84
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,951
Mr. Malone, I hate to rush you,
but people are waiting.

85
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,994
Have you made a decision yet?

86
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,581
Yes, Mimi, I have.

87
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,084
I'll take the tuna on toast
with iced tea.

88
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,795
Got it.

89
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,507
Oh, and after lunch,
we'll finish the memo I was drafting.

90
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,967
Where did we leave off?

91
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,844
"To Whom it May Concern."

92
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,096
Boy, I like the way that sounds.

93
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,051
<i>Mr. Malone, some gentlemen
are here to see you</i>

94
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,762
<i>from the firm of
Peterson, Clavin and Boyd.</i>

95
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,143
Peterson, Clavin and Boyd.

96
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,394
Mimi, tell them

97
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,479
I'm in an important meeting
and can't see them, please.

98
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,189
Oh, I can't believe it.

99
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,486
Hey, get in here, you mugs.

100
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,072
Hey, look at you!

101
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,411
Sam, don't be nice, now.
If you really have a meeting,

102
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,539
- we don't wanna bother you.
- No, come on. Get in here.

103
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:59,294
- Major corporate digs, buddy.
- Yeah.

104
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,546
Talk about your office in the sky.

105
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,173
Hey, oh, hey, lookit down there.

106
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,550
There's a guy washing windows.

107
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,262
That's one job you wouldn't catch me
doing for all the bridges in Bridgeport.

108
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,599
Standing on a platform there,
suspended hundreds of feet

109
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,267
- over certain death.
- You said it.

110
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,561
Let's throw something at him
and scare him, huh?

111
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,274
Hey, you know, actually,
these windows don't open.

112
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,277
You're in what's called
a climate-controlled office.

113
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,864
- Very impressed, Sam.
- Yeah.

114
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,785
Hey, Sammy, you do look every inch
the corporate muckety-muck there.

115
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,663
- Doesn't he?
- Well, you know, I don't wanna brag.

116
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,874
Mimi, get in here
and brag for me, will you?

117
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,793
Just kidding, Mimi.

118
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,504
<i>While I have you,
Mr. Drake is on his way over.</i>

119
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,297
Oh, guys, I'm sorry.

120
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,425
Oh, sure, sure.
That's okay. That's all right.

121
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,636
We're late for our
next appointment anyway, boys.

122
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,888
- Yeah.
- Where is that?

123
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,015
It's at the bottom
of the lobby escalator,

124
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,476
watching the secretaries
go up to the lunchroom.

125
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,982
All aboard for the Underalls Express.
Now leaving, Track 29.

126
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,986
You mugs.

127
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,837
- Sam.
- Oh, hey, Evan, yeah.

128
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,006
I'm sorry.
I was engrossed in my work.

129
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,677
Just came to check on you.
How are you doing?

130
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,263
It looks like you're making yourself
at home here.

131
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,516
Desk, supplies, huh?

132
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,269
And the requisite picture of your...

133
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:40,979
...self.

134
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:46,443
It's not really a great one,
but it's the only big one I have.

135
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,112
Yeah, well, you're all set then, huh?

136
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,448
Yeah, oh, yeah.
Full steam ahead. Take no prisoners.

137
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,658
- Excellent. All right.
- You know, I...

138
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,535
I do have one little question, though.

139
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,953
Shoot.

140
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,247
What do I do?

141
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,502
Yes. Well, now, yours being
a newly created position,

142
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,630
your responsibilities, as yet,
are not clearly defined.

143
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,257
- All right, that helps.
- Yeah.

144
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,010
- But we're looking for your input.
- input, gotcha. All right.

145
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,304
Listen, I'm gonna be late
for lunch, so...

146
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,182
...we'll talk later
at softball practice, huh?

147
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,435
- Oh, hey, we got a softball team?
- Oh, yeah, all the corporations do it.

148
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,313
It's a lot of fun.
Very casual. Wear cleats.

149
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,815
Hey, I'll have lots of input
for you then, sir.

150
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,110
Okay, all right.

151
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,739
Input, input.

152
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,700
Let's see here.

153
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,320
Mimi, call Maintenance.

154
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,163
Sports, ridiculous.

155
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,582
Stupid Sam.

156
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,043
What? An executive?

157
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,381
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

158
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,258
No, I was talking to my...

159
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,845
Yes, I was.

160
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:40,056
So you say that they did
make Sam an executive?

161
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,683
- Oh, absolutely.
- Yeah, yeah.

162
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,518
Giving him the red-carpet treatment
over there.

163
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,436
He's a regular Armand Hammer.

164
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,855
Oh, that reminds me.

165
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,357
I gotta change the baking soda
in my refrigerator.

166
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,611
Hi, everybody.

167
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,073
I just got back from twin-testing,
and I would like to announce

168
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:02,203
that I now like science
100 bucks more than I used to.

169
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,331
- All right.
- I found out that little Elvis

170
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,877
is a lot more aggressive
in certain situations than Jesse.

171
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,587
Or is it vice versa?

172
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:14,924
Who cares? Not these twins.

173
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,057
People, I have an announcement.

174
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,436
Mr. Sam Malone, the newest member
of the corporate softball team,

175
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,939
just pitched a shutout
against General Electric.

176
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:37,071
I tell you, I love pinning back
the ears of a Fortune 500 company.

177
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,741
Makes you proud to be
part of the corporation, doesn't it?

178
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,786
Hey, you know, I never knew
that you were a cheerleader.

179
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,539
Although I've always admired
your pompoms.

180
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,502
Sam, why does your jersey
say "Heppel" on the back?

181
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,796
Some guy who used to work
for the company.

182
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,174
They haven't had time
to order mine yet.

183
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,675
Supply problems.

184
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,219
- Supply problems.
- Yeah.

185
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,804
Guess that happens a lot
in large corporations.

186
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:05,391
You know, Sam, they were really lucky
to get you on the team.

187
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,268
You wanna know how lucky?

188
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,480
They just made the playoffs
the day before they hired me.

189
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,735
Oh, my God. I finally figured it out.

190
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,613
Life makes sense
and I am not crazy.

191
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,657
Well, that's only a layman's opinion.

192
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,118
Sam is a ringer.

193
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,789
Evan just hired him
to win the championship.

194
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,582
In two weeks, he'll be out of there.

195
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,918
Now, Rebecca,
you can't tell him that.

196
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,128
At least let the man enjoy
his day in the sun.

197
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:40,927
All right. Sam has taken
enough hard knocks this year.

198
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,639
No, it's pleasure enough
for me to just know.

199
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,349
I won't break his heart.

200
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,351
Oh, hey, Rebecca?

201
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,271
The guys decided that
you could be our cheerleader

202
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,147
on one condition,

203
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,399
lose the bra.

204
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,864
I won't break his heart.

205
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,575
I will rip it from his chest.

206
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,306
Here are those copies
of your report, Mr. Malone.

207
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,767
Oh, great, you got colored paper.

208
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,188
Hey, look at that.

209
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,941
Lots of input.

210
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,568
Am I interrupting anything?

211
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,611
Oh, hey, Rebecca.
No, come on in.

212
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,280
Thank you, Mimi.

213
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:47,702
Well, Rebecca,
welcome to the executive office.

214
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,747
Would you like to have a seat
in the executive chair there?

215
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,874
Or maybe
on the executive sofa,

216
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,001
or how about
the executive lap?

217
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:06,929
No, but seriously,
what brings you down to corporate?

218
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,724
Oh, I have a little information
about your promotion,

219
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,060
and I'm gonna really enjoy
sharing with you.

220
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,269
Oh, yeah, listen,

221
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,813
before you do, there's something
I wanna talk to you about too.

222
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,273
Sit down, please.

223
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,904
I just wanna say that I'm sorry,

224
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,616
you know, for teasing you
the way I did and everything.

225
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,368
I know we both had
a lot of fun with it,

226
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,660
but it wasn't right.

227
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,873
- That's okay. I just wanted to tell you...
- No, see, it wasn't okay.

228
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,250
I mean, absolutely not. I...

229
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:40,296
I think I was just trying to, you know,
show off in front of the guys.

230
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,382
Truth is,

231
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,259
this is all kind of new to me.

232
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,844
I keep expecting someone
to come and say,

233
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:51,057
"Malone, job's over, you're through.
Get out of here. It's a big joke."

234
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,268
- Good. Is it my turn now?
- No, in a second.

235
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:58,272
You know, the first thing that I did

236
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,483
when I was alone in the office here,

237
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:03,403
I called my father

238
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,697
who I hadn't talked to
for over three years.

239
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,075
And when I told him
where I was sitting,

240
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:13,538
and what I was looking out at,
and what my title is,

241
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,834
for the first time ever,

242
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,254
he told me
how proud he was of me.

243
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:27,051
Anyway, what are you dying
to tell me here?

244
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,723
Just that we are
darn proud of you too.

245
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,351
Oh, thank you.
God, that's great, thank you.

246
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:36,811
Hey, get a load of this.

247
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,355
My folks, their wedding anniversary
is next month.

248
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:40,773
I'm gonna fly them in here

249
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,483
and I'm gonna give them
the grand tour.

250
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,610
- I just can't wait to see their faces.
- Stop.

251
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,903
What?

252
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,407
Sam, I didn't wanna
have to tell you this,

253
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,783
but now I have to.

254
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,786
All right, all right,
what have you got?

255
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,289
I did want to have to tell you this,
but I wanted to enjoy it.

256
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,541
Now you've ruined that
and I have to tell you anyway.

257
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,379
You're not gonna be here
next month.

258
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,089
What do you mean?

259
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,842
Malone, you're a ringer.

260
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,927
Oh, I did like doing it a little bit.

261
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,973
What do you mean, ringer?

262
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,393
I mean that Evan just hired you
to win the championship.

263
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,353
And when that's over, you're history.

264
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,106
Oh, boy.

265
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,817
I should have expected this.

266
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,862
Sam, it's just the way
of the business world.

267
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,239
No, I mean that you are jealous.

268
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,618
How petty of you.
I can't believe this.

269
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,663
You know, the fact that I play baseball
has nothing to do with this job.

270
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,540
I am a good executive.

271
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,793
You know, you are way off base.
I'm gonna prove it to you. Mimi.

272
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,004
Get Mr. Drake
on the phone right away.

273
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,882
<i>- Right away, Mr. Malone.</i>
- Sam, you don't have to do this.

274
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,886
- I was hired for a lot of reasons.
- Like what?

275
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,804
I'll tell you like what.
Like this report, for example.

276
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,599
This sucker is loaded with input.

277
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,935
Sam, as one friend to another,

278
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,354
I really am just trying to
do you a favor.

279
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,274
<i>Mr. Drake is still in a sales meeting.</i>

280
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,152
What do you mean a sales meeting?
Why aren't I there?

281
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,365
I'm the eastern... the western...
I'm the southwest...

282
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,159
I'm the eastern regional
sales manager.

283
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,703
<i>I don't know, but he said
to rest up your arm</i>

284
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,747
<i>because you're starting tonight.</i>

285
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,670
Well, it's just probably some mix-up.

286
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,672
You know, maybe I missed
a memo or something.

287
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:32,218
I'm gonna go
straighten this out right now.

288
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,595
Don't you have a job to go to
or something?

289
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,278
Mimi, call Maintenance.

290
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,698
All right, have your people coordinate
with Marketing,

291
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,324
we'll get this campaign
on the boards.

292
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,450
Will do.

293
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,956
- Sorry I'm late.
- I guess that about wraps it up.

294
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,252
Say, before you go, I just wanna say

295
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,920
that I'm really backed up
with paperwork

296
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,797
and won't be able
to make the game tonight.

297
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,300
Can't make the game?
Hey, wait a minute, Evan.

298
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,636
I didn't give up my office two weeks
to let this guy do paperwork.

299
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,139
- Easy, Heppel.
- Heppel?

300
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,434
What, you're Heppel?

301
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,937
I thought that you were supposed...

302
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:29,734
Oh, boy, I am a ringer.

303
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,194
That's right.
I'm right, aren't I? I'm a ringer?

304
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,322
I'm gonna be straight with you, Sam.

305
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,783
Sure, we originally hired you
to pitch for the softball team,

306
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,995
but actually, you've turned out to be
somewhat of a surprise.

307
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,415
Yeah, you're a much better hitter
than we anticipated.

308
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,841
Man, this really bites it.

309
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,470
I mean, here I thought
you wanted me for my mind,

310
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,264
and it turns out you just wanted me
for my body.

311
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,058
Where have I heard that before?

312
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,603
Is it really that bad, Sam?

313
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,731
You make good money, everyone
here likes you. What's the problem?

314
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:13,527
The problem is that as soon as
softball season's over, I'm out of here.

315
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,447
You don't have to be.
We'll find a place for you.

316
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,908
I mean, softball season next year.

317
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,870
No, you know,
if I'm gonna stay here,

318
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,539
I want it to be for legitimate reasons.
I mean, come on, Evan.

319
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,750
At least look at my report.

320
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,212
Now, if you think that I have
what it takes after looking at that,

321
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,714
to be an executive right here,
right now, the way I am,

322
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,509
then, you know, then fine.
But otherwise, I think,

323
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,220
you know, we should
just shake hands like gentlemen

324
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,805
and part company.

325
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,608
Lock up your women.
Sammy's back.

326
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,485
- Hey.
- Hey, Sam.

327
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,904
Sam, you know,
sorry to hear about the termination.

328
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,614
Yeah, tough luck, pal.

329
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,991
Yeah, hey, easy come, easy go.

330
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,869
No, the truth is, it was a shock.

331
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,289
But then I went into
the executive washroom,

332
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,126
and I splashed some water on my face
and I looked in the mirror

333
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,128
and the mirror looked back and said,

334
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,798
"You're not an executive, man.
Get back to where you belong."

335
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,633
- All right.
- Yeah.

336
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,094
I thought they only had mirrors like that
in the movies.

337
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,057
It's good to be back.

338
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,560
Well, Miss Howe
will sure be relieved.

339
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,271
She said you'd be shattered
and we should all be nice to you.

340
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,189
She did, huh?

341
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,568
Well, maybe I ought to go
set her mind at ease.

342
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,953
Hi, Rebecca.

343
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,832
How are you, Sam?

344
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,626
Well, I'm kind of shattered.

345
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,672
I was afraid you might be.

346
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,633
Do you mind if I stay in here
for just a while?

347
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,470
It's kind of hard for me to go back
out there after what happened.

348
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,097
I feel so humiliated.

349
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,516
You just take as long as you need.

350
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,196
Would you like to talk about it?

351
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,199
You mean, about how bad I feel?

352
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,035
Yeah, you know,
sometimes that helps.

353
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,163
Well, I feel pretty bad.

354
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,874
So...

355
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,626
...bad.

356
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,088
I know. And I feel terrible
that I had to tell you.

357
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,592
Oh, there's no sense in us
both feeling so bad.

358
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,138
I just hate to see you like this.

359
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,019
You know,
sometimes these things happen,

360
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:55,606
but you will always
have your job here.

361
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,817
Oh, it's not just losing the job.

362
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:01,028
It's that I was, you know,
taken advantage of.

363
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,906
I know. I know.

364
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,741
You know, that I was used.

365
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:09,411
That I was just, you know,
manipulated by somebody

366
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:14,291
who just cynically wanted
to get something from me.

367
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,712
Malone, what are you doing?

368
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,714
I'm feeling bad.

369
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,344
No, you are feeling pretty good.

370
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:29,849
Okay, I admit it.
I'm not a sad guy.

371
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,017
I'm a happy, horny guy.

372
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,107
You know, we need pity too.

373
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:39,942
Oh, God, you are choice, Malone.

374
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:41,986
You are just really choice.

375
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,405
You will do anything
for a roll in the hay.

376
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:48,367
If you will play on my sympathies,
then you will stoop to anything.

377
00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:51,829
God, I am tired of fighting you.

378
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:55,499
I just don't have the strength
to do it anymore.

379
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,334
If this is what you really want,

380
00:22:58,627 --> 00:22:59,962
then by all means.

381
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,799
Take me here,
take me now, please.

382
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,387
Are you serious?

383
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,598
Oh, yes, I want it bad.

384
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:17,354
Well, all right.

385
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,118
Is something wrong?

386
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:34,163
Oh, nothing. Oh, baby.

387
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,756
Let me get this straight.

388
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:48,469
Is this what I can expect
in the way of full participation?

389
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,556
Until I get tired.

390
00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,647
Was it good for you?