1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,338 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,299 There you go. 3 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:08,634 Cheers. 4 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:13,055 Oh, yeah, hi, Vera. Let me see if he's here yet. 5 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,393 Oh, yeah, he just walked in. Yeah, here he is right now. 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,103 All right, bye. 7 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,774 Hi, honey. Yeah. 8 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:29,279 I have no idea. I mean, did you try the broom closet? 9 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,698 Well, how about the pantry? 10 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,117 Well, that would be a good place to look, okay? 11 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,328 All right. Okay, let me know. Bye. 12 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,080 Here, Sammy. 13 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,998 Oh, what's Mrs. Peterson doing? 14 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,251 I don't know. She's looking for the fire extinguisher. 15 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,631 Well, is there a fire in your house? 16 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,717 I have no idea. Should I have asked? 17 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,051 Attention, everyone. Attention. 18 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,261 I'm getting rid of that television. 19 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,971 Wait a second, there's laws in this state. 20 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,642 And I am replacing it this weekend with a new 27-inch-screen TV 21 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,853 with a direct hookup to the cable sports channel. 22 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,022 - Thank you. - All right! 23 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,357 Hey! 24 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,068 Kind of a jerky thing to do, but I liked it. 25 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,363 We'll be able to watch that World Welterweight Championship bout 26 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,198 between Hector "The Hammer" Rodriguez 27 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,116 and Julio "The Hacker" Rodriguez. 28 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,619 - Who do you think is gonna win? - My money's on Rodriguez. 29 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,955 Julio "The Hacker" Rodriguez has got a glass jaw. 30 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,540 My uncle Fergie had a glass eye. 31 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,626 He used to take it out and scare the cat. 32 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,301 This is Cheers, Dorothy. Isn't it amusing? 33 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,805 Frasier, would you be a dear and get us some drinks? 34 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,479 Sam, may I have three martinis, please? Make mine a double. 35 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,606 How's married life treating you? Quite a change? 36 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,692 Well, you know, Lilith and I did live together 37 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,235 for a year before we wed, 38 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,405 so other than the fact that I now see it stretching endlessly before me 39 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,907 until I lie rotting in the grave, there's no real difference. 40 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,038 Now, Lilith, if you, your family and generations of your ancestors 41 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,833 had lived with the boot of oppression on your throat, 42 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,627 would cutting out a man's heart seem that extreme? 43 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:33,880 So who's the party girl? 44 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,633 Dorothy Greenberg. 45 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,970 She's an old childhood chum of Lilith's from New York. 46 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,806 She's been visiting for a week. She's a professional student. 47 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:46,184 She's writing her dissertation on the comunero's uprising in Paraguay 48 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,521 during the 1700s. She can't talk about anything else. 49 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,483 Believe me, when you've heard one Bruno de Zabala joke, 50 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,985 you've heard them all. 51 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,825 Sam, I gotta get this over with. 52 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,077 Listen, there's something I gotta ask you, 53 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,204 and I don't want you to take it the wrong way. 54 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,331 - What is it? - Would you come to dinner 55 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,043 - at my house tonight? - Hey, I thought we were friends. 56 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,755 It's just that Eddie wants us to practice our social skills 57 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,923 so he can invite his boss over to dinner. 58 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,884 Can't you ask somebody else? 59 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:22,220 Please, come on. I'm sure any one of the guys would love to go. 60 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,722 Guys, am I...? 61 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,562 - So I'll expect you at 7:00? - Yeah, all right. 62 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,736 - Where'd you guys go? - Go? 63 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,071 We were right here all the time, Sammy. 64 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,159 By the way, thanks for hogging that invitation to Carla's house. 65 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,038 There's room for one more. 66 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,339 Sam, you sit here. 67 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,090 Thank you. 68 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,884 What is this, Sammy, no date? 69 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,511 Your mom didn't want me to bring one. 70 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,722 I always like to be the prettiest woman in my house. 71 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,474 And you always will be, baby. 72 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,684 You're no magazine cover yourself. 73 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,440 Now. 74 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:50,976 You know, Carla, it's nice to see you surrounded by such a loving family. 75 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,270 It's eerie, Sam. 76 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,522 I got a husband who does windows, 77 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,691 and all the kids are out of jail. 78 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,280 For the first time in my life, when morning comes around, 79 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,825 I wanna open up my eyes instead of my wrists. 80 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,785 That's beautiful, honey. 81 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,247 And who knows, Ma, 82 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,458 someday you can look forward to having grandkids. 83 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,504 Carla, a grandmother? You gotta be kidding. 84 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,841 No, no. Sammy, it's true. 85 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,343 I think I'd like to be a grandmother someday. 86 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,470 Having all the fun and none of the responsibility. 87 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,806 Just seeing the little brats when I want to. 88 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:33,852 I think you're gonna be surprised what a sweet, little old granny I'll be. 89 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,354 That's great, because I knocked up Annie good. 90 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,731 What? 91 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,319 Hey, hey, hey! Carla! 92 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,904 Carla! Carla! 93 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:49,034 What are you thinking of? I just waxed that table. 94 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,827 Come here. Come on, get off. 95 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,121 Come on. Come here. 96 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,007 And besides, this is family business. 97 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,342 Let's... 98 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,887 Let's talk about this later, okay? 99 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,531 So, what kind of car do you drive, Ed? 100 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,411 I thought you said you wanted to be a grandmother. 101 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,747 Someday. Like years from now, 102 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,416 when you've moved thousands of miles away. 103 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,210 Carla, please. 104 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,925 I drive a Corvette myself. 105 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,511 How could you do this? 106 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:54,849 Hey, I'm gonna be 20 in two years. I could hear my biological clock ticking. 107 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,395 Do you know what it takes to raise a kid? 108 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,313 Ma, will you relax? I got a job. 109 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,024 Do you think you could support a family pushing cheeseburgers? 110 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,986 - No, I thought we'd all stay here. - Oh, great. 111 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,654 More people in this house. 112 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,448 I get about 19 on the highway, 15 in town. 113 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,079 Whose stupid idea was this anyway? 114 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,707 Hey, I was getting bored sitting around the house. 115 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,917 I thought this might give her something to do. 116 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,794 I'll give you something to do. 117 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,049 No, no. Carla. Come on. 118 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,388 Well, if this is the way that we are going to be treated 119 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,890 on the happiest day of our young lives, 120 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,184 then I don't wanna live in this house anymore. 121 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,273 Anthony, you should probably come with me. 122 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,026 But we haven't eaten yet. 123 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,695 Your hair is full of breadcrumbs. 124 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,739 We could butter your head and make a sandwich. 125 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,743 I had a sandwich for lunch. 126 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,911 Oh, go on. Go, go! Get out of here. 127 00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:00,123 Let's see how long you last on your own. I give you three days! 128 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,460 - Two! Two tops! You hear me? - Carla, come on. Calm down. 129 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,590 Sammy, you get 15 in the city? 130 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,344 Hey, so they're gonna have a baby. 131 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,513 They'll find their way through it. 132 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,058 You don't understand. 133 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,729 My life is over. I'm gonna be a grandmother. 134 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,442 I mean, I might as well wrap myself up in a black babushka, get fat, 135 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,694 and grow hairs out of my moles. 136 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,698 You're exaggerating. 137 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,117 Do I have to get out the family album? 138 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,204 Oh, God, this is terrible. 139 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,624 Look at my life. 140 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,002 I never had a childhood. I married Nick when I was 15. 141 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,838 Never got to go to the prom or homecoming, 142 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:53,259 to a slumber party, to Fort Lauderdale on spring break, 143 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,762 or on one lousy date with Fabian. 144 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,682 Now I don't even get a middle age. 145 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,435 I go straight from grade school to granny. 146 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,146 I don't know what to say, Carla. 147 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,731 Just don't say anything, okay? 148 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,359 There's nothing anybody can say that's gonna change anything, 149 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,402 - so just don't say anything. - Yeah, but... 150 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,947 I said don't say anything. Weren't you listening to me? 151 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,241 - Yes, Car... - I said don't say anything. 152 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,326 - Nobody listens to me. - I listen... 153 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,161 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 154 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,290 Stay away and leave me alone. 155 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,294 I'm going to my room and wait for the angel of death. 156 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:40,473 Oh, here's one of my favorite paintings of the comuneros. 157 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,809 It depicts the peasant army struggling 158 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,395 to push this cannon to the top of the hill. 159 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,189 Later they found out they were on the wrong hill 160 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,275 and had fired on their own village. 161 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,445 These people had no luck. 162 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,491 That's fascinating, Dorothy. 163 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,327 Isn't that fascinating, Frasier? 164 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,205 Oh, yes, yes. 165 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,834 You know, these stories make me long to visit Paraguay. 166 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,419 Right now. 167 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,511 I hired you as a temporary waitress. 168 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,097 What on earth were you doing with your blouse off? 169 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,017 - Serving drinks. - This is not a topless bar. 170 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,269 What, I'm supposed to get tips for good service? 171 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,479 Yes, dear, that's the way we do it around here. 172 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,275 Well, I'm sorry, but I don't keep beauties like these under wraps. 173 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,027 Out, out. 174 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:38,364 God! That is the fourth temp waitress we've gone through. 175 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,741 I hate this bar. 176 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,576 Excuse me, miss, can we get some service? 177 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,161 Yes, sir. 178 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,288 Miss, this martini is too dry. 179 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,749 Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take care of that. 180 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,501 I've had it. Isn't Carla ever coming back? 181 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,588 I was not born to be a waitress. I was born to manage waitresses. 182 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,257 - Oh, miss? - You'll get it when I'm good and ready! 183 00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,928 God. 184 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,431 Well, we tried to cheer up Carla, but I don't think it worked. 185 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,433 Yeah? How far did you get? 186 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,853 About a half a block away. She hit Mr. Clavin with a rock. 187 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,066 Woody, could you have a little look-see? 188 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,236 - Is there a lump up there? - Let's see. 189 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:20,365 No. Gee, Mr. Clavin, do you pluck your eyebrows? 190 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,658 Get away. 191 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,996 We can't get along without Carla here. How can we get her back? 192 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,582 Well, I don't know, but let's start at square one here. 193 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,543 We know that she's upset about having a grandchild, right? 194 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:36,297 - Another round, Sam? - Coming right up. Table 11, please. 195 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,804 Well, she was complaining that she'd missed out on all that teenage stuff. 196 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,305 You know, homecoming, proms. 197 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,600 What if we do something to take her back to her teen years? 198 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,103 - Like get her pregnant? - No, 199 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,980 that's been done to death. 200 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,442 Well, what else did she say? What else? 201 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,820 Let me think. All right, something about a sleepover. 202 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,447 - No, I know. A slumber party, yeah. - A slumber party? 203 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,157 - Right. - Well, that's it. 204 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,577 I will just throw the woman a slumber party and that'll cheer her up. 205 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,330 Now, re-creating a ritual of youth is often just the thing 206 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,500 to get someone out of depression centered on a fear of aging. 207 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,669 I find it also helps to listen to heavy doses 208 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,838 of Creedence Clearwater Revival. 209 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,092 - Great. I'm gonna do that. - Fine. 210 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,803 Just one question. What do you do at a slumber party? 211 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:28,349 Well, the phrase "slumber party" would imply that one sleeps, 212 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,394 but somehow I sense that's meant to be ironic. 213 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,189 Terrific. We're really on a roll here. 214 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,649 I have a patient of that age. 215 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,902 I suppose I could do some research and help you put something together. 216 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,238 - Thank you. I would appreciate that. - Certainly. 217 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,907 Say, Rebecca, if you're in need of some extra guests, 218 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,451 I know a couple of fun-loving girls 219 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:49,412 who could really use a night on the town away from boring old me. 220 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,499 And, Lilith, you've always told me that you found Carla 221 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,461 an interesting psychological case study. 222 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:57,754 Won't you be lonely? 223 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,550 Oh, it'll give me a chance to be alone with Dorothy's books and a roaring fire. 224 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,307 Well, what do you say, Lilith? 225 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:14,228 Big wheel keep on turning Proud Mary keep on burning 226 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,688 - Rolling - Rolling 227 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,065 - Rolling - Rolling 228 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,442 - Rolling on the river - Rolling on the river 229 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,780 You know, you don't often get to see them loosen up like this. 230 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,459 Come on in. The coast is clear. 231 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,002 - Hi, Eddie. - Hey, how you doing? 232 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,504 - Good, good. - Hi, how are you? 233 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,547 - Thank you so much. - Hey, Lilith. Sure, sure. 234 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,385 All right, I'm gonna put on the forty-fives. 235 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,012 - Where's Carla? - Oh, she's in the back room, knitting. 236 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,056 Oh, that's a sign she's perking up. 237 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,225 I don't think so. It's her death shroud. 238 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:59,357 Oh, no. I forgot the marshmallows for the hot chocolate. 239 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,276 That's okay. We'll use the ones for the s'mores. 240 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:06,322 - Then what'll we use for the s'mores? - Why don't we just skip the s'mores? 241 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,658 You've been trying to get rid of them from the start. 242 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,618 - No, I haven't. - You most certainly... 243 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,665 Go get Carla. 244 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,084 Hey, Carla, could you come out here for a second? 245 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,252 No. 246 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,839 I'd like to discuss something about your gravesite. 247 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,632 Be right there. 248 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,893 - Now. - Surprise! 249 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,896 What the hell are you doing here? 250 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,065 We're having a slumber party! 251 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:45,111 That's right, Carla, hold onto your hat. The gals are here. 252 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,612 Eddie, get the gun. 253 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,322 Now, Carla, we know you're down, 254 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,200 but being alone is no way to deal with depression. 255 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,286 You need your friends around you. 256 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,580 Good idea. Who the hell are you? 257 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,002 Dorothy. Dorothy Greenberg. 258 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,212 Well, listen, Dorothy-Dorothy, 259 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,090 get the hell out of here and take all this crap with you. 260 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:08,468 - Now, come on, Carla. Come on. - Come on, go. 261 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,970 - Why'd you let them in? - Because for the last four days, 262 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,056 you've been sitting around moping and whining and scaring the kids. 263 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,726 I mean, for God's sakes, you haven't yelled at them once. 264 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,228 Don't you think children notice those things? 265 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,816 You're right. I'm not a fit mother. I'll leave immediately. 266 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,610 No. Come on, Carla. 267 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986 Look... 268 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,072 Look, if you're not gonna do this for yourself, will you do it for me? 269 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,533 I can't live with you like this anymore. 270 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,913 Look, sweetie, give it a chance, would you? Come on, give it an hour. 271 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,626 Look, if I do this, would you and the Supremes 272 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:45,213 promise to leave me alone, get off my back? 273 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,173 - We promise. - All right. 274 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,925 Let's get this thing over with. 275 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,552 Let the slumber party begin. 276 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,098 I'll take off for about an hour. Then I'll come back 277 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,352 and help you clean up after you have all your wacky gal fun. 278 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,270 Bring body bags. 279 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,278 Well, Lilith, you have the list. Where do we start? 280 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,365 All right, let's see. 281 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,619 All right. So on the list, we have to do each other's hair. 282 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,621 Then we talk about boys. 283 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,333 Tell scary stories, have a pillow fight, 284 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,962 and then for the grand finale, assorted madcap pranks. 285 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,964 What kind of pranks? 286 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:33,010 According to my patient, when the first person falls asleep, 287 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,846 the others take her underwear, dip it in water, 288 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:39,392 and then put it in the icebox for an hour to freeze it solid. 289 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:44,188 Or they could let you wear it for ten minutes. 290 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,111 Why don't we just move to the pillow fight? 291 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,743 Do that again and they'll be tracing you in chalk. 292 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,580 Carla, 293 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,584 I saw the corners of your mouth twitching. 294 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,170 Are there little elves pulling on them? 295 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:13,134 Up, up. Oh, there they go again. Are you trying not to smile? 296 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,761 No, I'm getting ready to spit on you. 297 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,521 Well, in little under an hour, Hector "The Hammer" Rodriguez 298 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,857 will be nailing Julio "The Has-Been" Rodriguez 299 00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,942 into the canvas on our new TV. 300 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,402 Cliff ie, in your dreams. 301 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,446 I say the Hammer goes down in five rounds. 302 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,197 - You're on. - I say three. 303 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,657 - Two. - All right, all right. 304 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,659 Hey, we don't even have a manual. 305 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,953 - How you gonna hook that thing up? - Easy, Sam. 306 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,039 They included a special videotape 307 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,249 showing exactly how to hook everything up. 308 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,377 So all we have to do is hook everything up, 309 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,422 watch the tape, and then we'll know exactly what to do. 310 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:58,638 Okay. How long before Woody spots the flaw in his reasoning? 311 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,015 I say eight minutes. 312 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,558 - Okay, I say five. - I say two. 313 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,685 All right, fine. 314 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:09,315 I'm in. Wait a minute, there you go. I'm in for ten. 315 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,484 - Cheers. - Sam, we're over here at Carla's, 316 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,943 but things aren't going well. 317 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,863 I thought that maybe you guys could come over and crash the party. 318 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:19,617 You know, something to shake things up a little bit. I'm desperate. 319 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:20,951 Oh, really? 320 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,204 I bet you're kind of sexy when you're desperate, huh? 321 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,707 - You breathing heavily? - Sam... 322 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,126 - ls your chest heaving? - Sam, please. 323 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,546 Is your nightgown clinging to your sweat-soaked body? 324 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,801 - Yes. - We're on our way. 325 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,179 Now, hang on here. 326 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,681 How can I hook this up to watch the tape 327 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,224 if I don't know how to hook it up? 328 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,060 - Two minutes. Who had two? - Okay. 329 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,896 - Yeah, all right. - Did you win? 330 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066 Listen, guys, that was Rebecca. 331 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,527 The slumber party's gone sour. Let's go help her out. 332 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,153 Wait, Sam, what about the fight? 333 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,614 Come on. Do you think Woody's gonna be able to fix that? 334 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:01,325 No one but Carla can hook up a TV around here. 335 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,661 We'll go cheer her up and bring her back. 336 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,497 Don't be so harsh on the kid, Sam. Have a little faith here. 337 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,375 Wait a minute, what are all these wires? 338 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,045 The party's gone sour, you say. 339 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,646 Want another s'more? 340 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,607 Not sweet enough for me. I think I'll just have a bowl of syrup. 341 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,155 Look, Carla, Lilith's hair's coming out nice. 342 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,282 Yeah, in clumps. 343 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,661 Carla, do you want me to fix your hair too? 344 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,954 What do you say? 345 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:50,541 - I say your hour is almost over. - Right. 346 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,586 Let's see what's next on the list. 347 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:57,423 Oh, good. We get to tell scary stories. 348 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,258 You wanna hear a scary story? 349 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:03,095 I'll tell you a scary story. My life, that's a scary story. 350 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:07,725 Wonderful, Carla. Okay, who's next? 351 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,648 Oh, I hope it's not some boys trying to crash our slumber party. 352 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,111 - What? - Hi. Listen, I know, I know. 353 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,738 I know you don't wanna see me, 354 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,865 but I'll bet you wanna see the four swell guys. 355 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,993 We're gonna be bringing you memories of your swinging teenage years. 356 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,870 Do you remember this, Carla? 357 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:32,875 Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl 358 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,753 Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl Duke, Duke 359 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,925 - As I walk through this world - Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke 360 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,176 Nothing can stop... 361 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:43,636 Shut up! 362 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,097 Why do you all keep coming over here? 363 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:50,226 - We're trying to cheer you up. - Well, stop it. 364 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,603 You can't cheer me up. 365 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,940 Why do people think they always have to rush over 366 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:59,401 and talk somebody out of it when they're feeling lousy? 367 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:04,698 Look, this grandmother thing is just something I have to work through, 368 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,408 and I will with time. 369 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,372 There's nothing any of you guys could do. 370 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,166 Unless you can make me 15 again. 371 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,712 Can any of you make me 15 again? 372 00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:23,634 Well, can you? 373 00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:32,142 Look, if you really cared about me, you would just get out of my house 374 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,896 and do what I asked you to a long time ago. 375 00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,232 Just leave me alone. 376 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,613 You mean you really wanna be left alone? 377 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,536 Let's go, guys. Come on. 378 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:55,499 - This party was stupid. - This was not a stupid party. 379 00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:58,544 Oh, well, I stand corrected. It was the social event of the season. 380 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:00,796 Shut up. 381 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,590 Oh, yeah? You want a punch in the mouth? 382 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,553 You gonna be all right? 383 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,515 Yeah. I appreciate what you're trying to do, Sam. 384 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,517 I'll be okay, you know? 385 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:15,769 Yeah, something always comes along, 386 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:20,691 some little something. It makes everything work out. 387 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:24,111 But I gotta find it myself. You can't do it for me. 388 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,613 All right, all right. 389 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:28,741 You know my number. 390 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,458 Sorry, Carla, I... 391 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,377 I just forgot my jacket. 392 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,929 Darn these pants. 393 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:53,015 Why do they keep doing this? I had them fixed.