1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,129 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:06,548 Hi, everybody. 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,717 - Hey. - Hey, Sammy. 4 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,010 Where's Rebecca? 5 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,553 In her office. Why? 6 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,306 Today's the day a certain chestnut brown-haired beauty 7 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:17,309 is gonna succumb to the charms of Sammy. 8 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,230 Laugh if you will, 9 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,233 but according to my calculations, the timing is perfect. 10 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,527 I've waited long enough for her to get over Evan Drake, 11 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,905 but not long enough for her to build up her resistance again. 12 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,657 The way I see it, I've got 13 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,201 about a half-hour window of opportunity opening up here. 14 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:38,497 I'm telling you, boys, Rebecca Howe is mine. 15 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,624 That's it! All right! 16 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,002 Sammy! Sammy! 17 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,381 Yes. 18 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,466 He's got her saying yes already. 19 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,512 Not a devout nun's prayer. 20 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:54,721 No, sir. 21 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,921 So, what you got there? 22 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,798 A Mercedes catalogue. 23 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,550 I'm thinking of getting one. 24 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,344 Yeah, I hear good things about those catalogues. 25 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,639 What, you got a raise or something? 26 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,516 No. I can only afford the cheapest model, 27 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,518 and I'll have to give up lunches until I... 28 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,979 Well, I'll have to give up lunches, 29 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,398 but it will still be a Mercedes. 30 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,941 Speaking of Mercedes, 31 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,944 I'm kind of known as the Mercedes of guys. 32 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,031 Really? I always thought 33 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,825 you were more of a cheap pickup with a headlight missing. 34 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,120 Did you want something, Sam? 35 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,540 Rebecca, how long have we known each other? 36 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,250 No, I will not go out with you. 37 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,587 What makes you think that I was going to ask you for a date? 38 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,297 You must really think you look hot tonight. 39 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,257 Then why did you come in here? 40 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,426 Well, I was going to compliment you 41 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,845 on your blouse. That's a very pretty blouse. 42 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,889 Well, we haven't seen each other today until now. 43 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,974 How did you know I'd be wearing this one? 44 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,810 I was hoping you were going to wear it. 45 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020 It's always been my favorite blouse. 46 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,231 It's brand-new. It's the first time I've worn it. 47 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,608 I'm working part-time in department store security. 48 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,485 I was in the store when you bought it. 49 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,362 I bought it mail-order. 50 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,447 I drove the truck that delivered it to your house. 51 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,909 One date! Come on! Please. What, it's gonna kill you? 52 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,619 Men. you're all alike... 53 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,330 Nothing but users and takers and big stupid jerks 54 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:26,498 who don't even know you exist, 55 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,126 and then go running off to Japan with someone else. 56 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,172 That is such a cliché. 57 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,509 - Come on, please... - Forget it. 58 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,928 I'm concentrating on my career. 59 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,056 I happen to think I have a real future with this company. 60 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,892 No offense, but why? 61 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,937 Because I think it's my time. 62 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,648 You know, Evan took a lot of key people with him to Japan. 63 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,859 And the way I figure it, 64 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,486 everyone who knows I'm a washout is gone. 65 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,365 - Talk about sitting pretty. - You bet. 66 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,076 You know, the new Executive Vice President, Mr. Stone, 67 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,079 has been doing a little housecleaning at the corporate level. 68 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,124 From where I am, it could be just a short climb to the top. 69 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,085 Speaking of climbing to the top, 70 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,587 the way I see it, 71 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,381 you haven't had a date with a guy for about two and a half years. 72 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,550 Now, I think this date of ours could be good for me, 73 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,720 but, sweetheart, I got to say, it's looking real necessary for you. 74 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,724 Sam, no. We're starting to become good friends. 75 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,058 Now, why wreck that? 76 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:30,270 Friends tell friends who they think they ought to go out with. 77 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,646 And as a friend, I'm telling you, 78 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,065 you ought to give this Malone guy a chance. 79 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:40,697 All right. 80 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:42,908 What? 81 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,410 I'll go out with you. 82 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,245 That is great. 83 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,705 That's great. All right. 84 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:50,791 I'll pick you up... 85 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:56,463 Just for future reference here, what did I do right this time? 86 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,425 It's just since Evan went away, my expectations are low. 87 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,513 And with my stove on the blink and nothing on the tube tonight, 88 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,473 I figured, why not? 89 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,438 Thanks. Yeah. I'll have to remember that. 90 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,150 - 8:00? - Okay. 91 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,903 And let's just keep this between us. 92 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,864 I don't want those bozos out there turning this into a circus. 93 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,950 Oh, no. I couldn't agree with you more. 94 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,995 Hey! Yay! 95 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,790 Lucky guess. 96 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,010 Check it out! 97 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,555 Sammy, you might as well 98 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,932 make that entry in your diary right now, 99 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,935 because no mortal woman can resist this package. 100 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,645 No, no, we're just having dinner. 101 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,355 - Oh, right. - Yeah. 102 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,192 Columbus was just going on a little boat ride, huh? 103 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,361 It turns out that's true. 104 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,782 He told the missus he was just stepping out for lunch 105 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,578 and took a left instead of a right at the islets of Langerhans, 106 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,037 and before you knew it, 107 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,206 he was trading trinkets for Miami Beach. 108 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:18,420 - Cliff, you should write a book. - Why, thank you, Carla. 109 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,547 No, I mean right now. 110 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:23,884 I mean it. 111 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,178 Look, here's a pencil and some paper. 112 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,597 Go on in the back room 113 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:32,058 and don't come out until you have 60,000 words. 114 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,656 Go on. 115 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,206 I'll be right there. 116 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,209 Look at that. That really takes me back, you know? 117 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,211 I remember my first date with Vera... 118 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,839 The flowers, the candy, the wine. 119 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,341 Sounds pretty romantic, Norm. 120 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,550 Yeah, it was. 121 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,218 In retrospect, 122 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,846 I suppose I should have gotten her something, but... 123 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,683 I guess you can't turn back that clock, can you? 124 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,104 Here you go. 125 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,273 I just brought these in so they could see 126 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,400 what a real long-stemmed beauty looks like. 127 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,152 Thank you, Sam. 128 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,821 - Shall we go? - It's just dinner. 129 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,406 Yeah, dinner. Right. Absolutely. 130 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,909 Good night, fellas. Don't wait up for us. 131 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,247 Oh my God, it's him! 132 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:39,626 - Who's him? - Greg Stone. The new Exec VP. 133 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,795 I saw his picture in the company newsletter. 134 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,631 Mr. Stone, welcome! 135 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,508 It's such an honor to have you here. 136 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,760 Mr. Stone, I'd like you to meet Sam Malone. 137 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,345 - Yeah, hi. - Pleased to meet you, Sam. 138 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,305 - Yeah. - Who are you? 139 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,225 Rebecca Howe. I'm the manager. 140 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,144 Of course. 141 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,021 I'd like to use your phone, if I may. 142 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,315 You can do anything you want with my phone. 143 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,652 Thank you. For the moment, I thought I'd just speak into it. 144 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,945 Good choice. 145 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,989 Okay, come on, let's go, sweetheart. 146 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,448 We're going to be late. 147 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,992 He could very well be 148 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,160 the most handsome man I have ever seen. 149 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,665 And did you see the way he looked in my eyes 150 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,417 when he said, "Who are you?" 151 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,043 I think he really likes me. 152 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,504 We all do, honey. Now, let's go. 153 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,047 No, Sam, you don't understand. He's the man 154 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,882 I've been giving my accounts to for the last couple of weeks. 155 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,802 I think he could be my ticket to corporate. 156 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,429 Miss Howe, I'd like to see you in my office 157 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,055 tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. 158 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,683 What did I tell you? 159 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,935 Well, yeah, that's great. Now, let's go celebrate. 160 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,979 Oh, excuse me! Excuse me, sir! 161 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,689 As long as you were going to tell me anyway, 162 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,357 why don't you just go ahead and tell me now? 163 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,735 This is not the time or the place. 164 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,278 Oh, please tell me. 165 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,821 You've been going over my files? 166 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,573 Yes, I have. 167 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,743 - And we're doing better? - Yes, we're doing better. 168 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,911 Well, then what's the problem? Just go ahead and tell me. 169 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,289 I really think we should discuss this privately. 170 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:03,835 Pal, just between us guys here, do me a favor and tell her. 171 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,713 It would kind of help grease the old skids. 172 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,051 - I really don't... - Sir, excuse me, please. 173 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,511 Very well, Miss Howe, if you insist. 174 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,057 This quarter has shown a slight improvement. 175 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,226 - Did you hear that, everybody? - A slight improvement. 176 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,771 Yes, but the records show unequivocally 177 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:23,855 that the bar did better 178 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,107 under Sam's direction than yours. 179 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,400 In view of this, 180 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,070 I'm hereby appointing Sam the new manager. 181 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,613 And I regret to say, 182 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,698 I'm forced to give you notice. 183 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:34,866 I'm sorry. 184 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,869 Okay, boys, dessert. 185 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,548 Well, what do you say we go strap on the old feed bag, huh? 186 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,220 You coming? 187 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,893 You guys want to help me get her into the car? 188 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,480 I'll get the door. 189 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,693 This is going to be a lot easier than I thought. 190 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,832 - Two Amstel Lights. - I don't know, Carla... 191 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,043 Either managing a bar is getting a lot more complicated 192 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,878 or I'm getting a lot dumber. 193 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,172 You couldn't be getting any dumber, Sam. 194 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,843 Well, it must be that other thing, then. 195 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,886 You know, having you back in charge 196 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,972 really reminds me of old times, you know? 197 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,765 I mean, real old times. 198 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,853 Even before the evil days when darkness fell over the earth. 199 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,314 She means when Diane was still here. 200 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,900 I know precisely what she means. 201 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,447 Cheers. 202 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,950 Sam, it's Mr. Stone for you. 203 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,660 Put him on hold, there, Woody. 204 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,829 Damn, I bet he wants those figures. 205 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,798 Hello, Woody. 206 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,678 - Miss Howe? - Woody, where's Sam? 207 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,263 In his office... 208 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,265 Well, I mean, in your... 209 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,142 In your old... 210 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,811 I haven't seen him. 211 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,027 Hello. 212 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,905 Love your hairdo. 213 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,500 Yeah, it's open. 214 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,887 Sweetheart, what happened? 215 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:05,141 I just had to knock on my own office door. 216 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,144 Oh, I'm so sorry. 217 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,813 I swear to God I didn't want this to happen. 218 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,106 I know. 219 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,859 It's not your fault. 220 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,111 I know why it happened... 221 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,447 Because I'm a loser. 222 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,992 I always have been, and I always will be 223 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:26,537 a big, old, fat, old, stupid loser. 224 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,374 You're not a loser. Don't say that. 225 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,376 Do you hear me? You are not a loser. 226 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,418 Okay. 227 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,297 Do you have a barrette for this or something? 228 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,426 I lost it. 229 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,596 Well, sweetheart, don't worry about... 230 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,807 Don't worry about that. It'll be all right. 231 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,518 Hey, you know what might make you feel better? 232 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,270 We never had that date, you know. 233 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,938 Oh, God! 234 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,526 You just go back over there 235 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,403 and do whatever it was you were doing. 236 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,989 I will get out of your life forever. 237 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,199 - Rebecca, I... - Sam, please, 238 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,993 it will make it a lot easier. 239 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:12,667 You know, 240 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,586 I might just become a bag lady. 241 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,507 They're not all old, you know. 242 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,010 It could happen. 243 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,596 It really could. 244 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,810 I'll just send for the rest of my things. 245 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,521 No, Rebecca, wait a second. Honey, listen. 246 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,565 Sam, Mr. Stone's still on hold. 247 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,108 He needs those figures on the double. 248 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,487 Hold it. 249 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,788 Well, what the hell is that? 250 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,417 I'm no computer expert, but it looks like "Donkey Kong." 251 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,920 Oh, man, that's it. 252 00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,047 You know, I... 253 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,424 It's not like it used to be around here, Carla. 254 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,677 I mean, corporations, computers, reports. 255 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,888 I used to keep track of inventory 256 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,307 in a spiral notebook, for God's sake. 257 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:12,018 - No, you didn't. - I always meant to. 258 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:18,316 I just hate being in charge. I'm not good at it. 259 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,152 Rebecca wasn't good at it, either, but at least she enjoyed it. 260 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,156 You know, I'm gonna go back to Stone, and I'm gonna beg him 261 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,366 to give her this job back. 262 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,700 Wait a minute. 263 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,244 You're quitting because of this machine? 264 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,080 Carla, I hate that machine. 265 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,791 John Henry hated a machine, too. 266 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,627 Do you know the story of John Henry, Sam? 267 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,130 He went toe-to-toe with a steel-driving machine, 268 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,007 and he refused to admit 269 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,009 that that machine was better than him. 270 00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,052 And you know what happened? 271 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,553 Yeah. The machine beat him. 272 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,555 His heart exploded. He died. 273 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,392 He did? 274 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,311 Yes. 275 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,771 Well, go get her job back 276 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,065 before you lose your temper. Come on! 277 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:06,948 How'd it go? 278 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,326 Woody, give me a seltzer there, will you? 279 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,329 Mr. Stone was dead set against rehiring her, 280 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,915 and I hate to beg when sex isn't involved. 281 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,253 So what happened? 282 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,004 Well, I had to promise that she'd agree 283 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,798 to a whole list of conditions. 284 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,508 He finally said yes. 285 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,260 I left a message on her answering machine 286 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,804 - that I wanted to talk to her. - What are you gonna tell her? 287 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,722 Well, I'm gonna tell her to take her stupid job back. 288 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,516 I don't want it anymore. 289 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,476 Wait a minute, Sam. Aren't you missing something here? 290 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,562 What? 291 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,731 You desperately want to jump this woman's bones, right? 292 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,233 Sure. 293 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,735 And you just arranged something for her 294 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,280 that she wants more than anything else in the world. 295 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,281 So? 296 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:52,034 Don't you see a connection between those two things? 297 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,663 Breaks your heart, doesn't it? 298 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:01,461 You tell Rebecca that you love being the manager, 299 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,838 but you couldn't stand to see her being so miserable, 300 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,381 so you got her her job back. 301 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,507 Next thing you know, 302 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,051 she'll be doing the backstroke on your waterbed. 303 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,390 Carla... I'm shocked. 304 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,768 Why? That you didn't think of it first? 305 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,021 Yeah. I mean, I must be losing it. 306 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,151 Woody, call Melville's. 307 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,528 Tell them I want an 8:00 reservation for two. 308 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,614 Tell them that I want booth number five, 309 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,199 chill their best champagne, 310 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,286 yeah, and order a chocolate soufflé for dessert. 311 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,663 Gee, Sam, that sounds good, 312 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,290 but actually, I brought my dinner. 313 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,212 Woody, 314 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,047 make the reservation. 315 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,507 All right, but this is a waste 316 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,884 of a perfectly good meatball sandwich. 317 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,428 Thank you. 318 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,852 Sam, I can't thank you enough for getting my job back. 319 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:02,980 I finally feel good about myself again. 320 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,441 You know, the first thing I did when I got home 321 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,319 was I put in an order for that Mercedes. 322 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,155 Well, I think you'll look great wearing one of those. 323 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,324 So... 324 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,368 ...you having a good time? 325 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,536 Yeah, I actually am. 326 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,621 Well, you don't have to sound so surprised. 327 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,122 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. 328 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,290 It's just that... 329 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,794 ...with all your obnoxious come-ons and everything, 330 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,880 I never expected you to be as... 331 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,926 ...as charming as you've been tonight. 332 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,177 No kidding? 333 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,889 So what do you find charming about me? 334 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,645 Well, for one thing, I find it charming 335 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,021 that you would try to impress me 336 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:47,441 by ordering an elegant soufflé when I know perfectly well 337 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:50,069 that your favorite dessert is frozen snicker bars. 338 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,408 Actually, they're in the bottom of your champagne bucket there. 339 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,453 Oh. I think I was just charming again there, wasn't I? 340 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,833 I don't get it. 341 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,794 Just when I thought I had you pegged, 342 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,838 you go out and do something like you did today. 343 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,300 Sam, that really was the nicest thing 344 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,427 that anyone has ever done for me. 345 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,557 Well, you deserve to have nice things done for you. 346 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,392 You're a very nice person. 347 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,728 So are you. 348 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,531 - Sam? - Yeah? 349 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,908 Is that your hand on my leg? 350 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,662 I'll be darned. My left hand does seem to be missing. 351 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,751 - Want me to move it? - Yes. 352 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,546 That's not what I meant. 353 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,592 Oh, thank you. 354 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,765 Oh! Mr. Stone! 355 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,559 Hi! What a surprise. 356 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:04,644 Oh, good evening. 357 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,812 I wonder if we could have the table over there. 358 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,232 Mr. Stone, I'm not the hostess. 359 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,276 I'm Rebecca Howe from downstairs. 360 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,695 Ah, of course you are. 361 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,238 Miss Howe. 362 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,241 I guess I ought to say welcome back. 363 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,744 I was a little surprised you agreed to the conditions, 364 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,245 but if you can live with them, so can we. 365 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,330 Ah, here's the maître d'. 366 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,290 I wonder if I could have that table... 367 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,125 ...in the other room? 368 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,586 Nice to see you again. 369 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,426 What was he talking about? 370 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,136 What conditions? 371 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,055 Want some more champagne? 372 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,224 Sam, what conditions? 373 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:48,729 Well, they were so insignificant, they really slipped my mind. 374 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:53,693 All right... 375 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:01,033 You have to take a slight pay cut 376 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,202 and go back to school for your MBA, 377 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,204 and share the office with me, 378 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,206 consult with me on all major decisions, 379 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,083 and since you lack any practical experience, 380 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,001 you'll have to wait tables when the bar's busy, 381 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:14,338 which would put you under the immediate supervision of Carla. 382 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:20,052 Any wonder it slipped my mind? 383 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,431 Sam, when were you planning on telling me this? 384 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,892 After. 385 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,812 After what? 386 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,690 Afterwards? 387 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,738 I... I'm sorry. 388 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,823 I should have told you, but... 389 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:43,826 I just thought that you'd been going through such a tough time, 390 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:47,496 that you deserved at least one night of feeling good about yourself. 391 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:53,961 - I'll call you a cab. - No, no, no. It's okay. 392 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,006 The important thing is that I have my job back. 393 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,258 You're not upset about this? 394 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,260 How can I be upset 395 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,971 when I have so much to be thankful for? 396 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,015 Now... 397 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,852 Where were we? 398 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,479 Does this look familiar? 399 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,190 - Sam? - Yeah. 400 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,734 I want tonight to be very special. 401 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:22,948 And I think I can figure a way for us to do that. 402 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,910 You see, I have this fantasy... 403 00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,372 And it's something that I've always wanted to try, 404 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:34,460 but I didn't ever think that I'd get to do it until tonight. 405 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,712 Would you like to know what it is? 406 00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:38,339 Yes, please. 407 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,343 Okay. 408 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,720 Well, you see, I have this hot tub at home. 409 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,014 I love the way this begins. 410 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,475 And what we do when we get there... 411 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,147 First? 412 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:57,900 And then... 413 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,487 Oh, God. 414 00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:03,697 Oh, please. 415 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:07,910 And this is the part that's just a little tiny bit illegal... 416 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,623 No, I don't think that I should tell you. 417 00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,875 I really think it would be better if I showed you. 418 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,461 Come with me now so we don't spoil the mood. 419 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,257 Could you just give me a minute? 420 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,094 No. 421 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:29,849 Bye-bye, Sam. 422 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,276 Can I get you anything else, Mr. Malone? 423 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,986 No, thank you, Paul. 424 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,281 Actually, Paul... 425 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:48,868 Could I have another one of your chocolate soufflés? 426 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:51,287 Are you aware that will take 45 minutes? 427 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,247 Yes, Paul, I am. 428 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:03,090 Woody, Sam's going to be upstairs for a while. 429 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:05,092 When he comes down, give him this message... 430 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,511 You tell him that it will be a cold day in hell 431 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:09,138 before I ever share an office with him, 432 00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:12,141 or schlep drinks in a two-bit saloon. 433 00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:14,143 Miss Howe? 434 00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,853 By the way, Midtown Mercedes called 435 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:18,480 and said you can pick up your car anytime. 436 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:21,025 Oh, and they got the one you wanted, the red one. 437 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:25,654 The red one? 438 00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:33,787 Hi, there, my name's Rebecca... 439 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,125 and it will be my pleasure to serve you.