1 00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,840 And we're on the help line with... 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,177 Oh. Me. Hi. 4 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:15,599 Hello? My name is Re... Rapunzel. 5 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,519 And I'm sorry if I sound a little bit nervous, 6 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,978 but this is the first time I've ever called 7 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,563 a radio show for help. 8 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,233 But I have this problem and it's so horrendous 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,443 that I didn't have any place else to turn. 10 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,529 Now, I have this new boss at work. 11 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,490 And he's incredibly rich and he's incredibly powerful, 12 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,784 but he's also sort of... 13 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,453 Oh, God, how can I put this without sounding mean... 14 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,997 ...a weaselly little twerp. 15 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,874 Anyway, this guy asked me out. 16 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,126 And to get out of going out with him, I told him 17 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,255 that I was going with this guy named Sam... son. 18 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:52,427 So Samson, who can be an incredible jerk sometimes, 19 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,472 told my boss, the twerp, that we broke up. 20 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:56,932 All right. So my boss... 21 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,100 The twerp? 22 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:02,354 Right. My boss asked me out, and you're not gonna believe this... 23 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,523 He proposed to me. 24 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,150 I mean, the only thing I could think of to do 25 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,945 without jeopardizing my career was to tell my boss 26 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,030 that I was still in love with Samson. 27 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,783 But I cannot keep avoiding the guy. 28 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,451 As an example, he is upstairs right now 29 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,036 having lunch at Mel... Monaco. 30 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,246 Melmonaco's. 31 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,082 The thing is that now I'm worried. 32 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,917 Do you think I did the right thing? 33 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,168 I think so. 34 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,170 Now, did you have a gardening question? 35 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,548 You called the Dr. Green Thumb show. 36 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:37,681 Just a reminder, Rapunzel, plant your bulbs early. 37 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,482 That's a beautiful birdie you got there on the ninth. 38 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,192 You guys are playing golf today, eh? 39 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,653 Yeah. Nothing like bashing the ol' pill around. 40 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,155 Young Woody Nicklaus here broke 80. 41 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,990 All right, good man. 42 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,909 You shot under 80 for 18 holes? 43 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,203 Well, no, actually, it was 17. 44 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,746 The 18th hole's the windmill. 45 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,039 If you're stupid enough to play that one, 46 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,707 it's going to eat your little colored ball. 47 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,336 You were playing miniature golf? 48 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,714 Do you have any idea how long those real golf courses are? 49 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:57,594 Gentlemen, that was a pretty poor showing for a power lunch. 50 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,262 Ralph, you're going to have to start doing 51 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,182 something more than just taking up space at these meetings. 52 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,852 How does a guy so young get to be so incredibly powerful? 53 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,480 I just try to maintain a cheerful attitude 54 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,357 and not abuse my position. 55 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,902 I recently read a Forbes profile on our young Mr. Teal. 56 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,904 Apparently, he started with his father's firm, 57 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,364 kicked the old guy out when he was 17, 58 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,366 - hasn't looked back since. - Big deal. 59 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,869 Did he ever win a purple ribbon in the Jefferson county spelldown? 60 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:27,082 Anathema. A-N-A-T-H-E-M-A. 61 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,166 Anathema. 62 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,502 Touché, Woody. 63 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,088 Touché. T-O-U-C-H-É. 64 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,381 And a little slanty line. 65 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,424 Touché. 66 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,178 Excuse me. ls Miss Howe in? 67 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,055 She's in her office. You want me to go get her? 68 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,056 No. Don't bother. 69 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,099 Dennis. 70 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,399 Miss Howe? 71 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,863 - Oh, no. - Oh, yes. 72 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,700 The master of the universe awaits your presence. 73 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,579 Dennis, I sense bitterness. 74 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,497 I've never heard you talk like this before. 75 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,041 Oh, I could tell you stories, honey. 76 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,962 Here she is, sir, per your request. 77 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:18,341 So, how's the greatest love story ever told working out? 78 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,136 Sam and I are just as steady as ever. 79 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,972 As steady as yesterday when you broke up twice? 80 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,642 Things are different. It's more serious. 81 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,229 I won't consider it really serious until I see a ring on your finger. 82 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,107 Well, what I meant by serious is... 83 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,319 Is that Sam and I are engaged. 84 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,029 Hey, everybody. 85 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,614 Congratulations, Sammy. 86 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,949 What for? She was just a stewardess. 87 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,789 Stop joking, you big lug, and come here. 88 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,832 Can you excuse us just a second, Martin? 89 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,210 We have to discuss our silver pattern. 90 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,879 Dennis, get me the papers on the Trackwell merger. 91 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,716 Just keep your stupid mouth shut, and smile. 92 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,676 We're engaged. 93 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,262 Well. Great. Well, let's begin the honeymoon. 94 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,474 Sam, we're not actually getting married. 95 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,643 Well, that's even better. I can enjoy the honeymoon. 96 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,895 Come on, Sam. 97 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,147 It's just a way to get Martin off my back. 98 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:18,235 Oh, dear! You mean the problem-free relationship 99 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,320 suddenly developed a glitch? 100 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,907 I can't very well tell the future president of the corporation no. 101 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,659 I'd never work again. 102 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,536 Please, Sam, just help me out here. 103 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,287 Just until Martin gets over me. 104 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,415 - Come on. - I don't know. I... 105 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,211 You know, if I go along with this, will you go to bed with me? 106 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,174 Let's put it this way, if you don't go along with this, 107 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,093 I will never go to bed with you. 108 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,803 All right. So in other words... 109 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:49,182 if I don't... no, wait. That means if you... 110 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,726 All right, this is me, this is you, this is the bed. 111 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,773 Sam, just do it! 112 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,736 I don't personally think we need the salad forks, honey, 113 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,947 but you're the entertainer in the family. 114 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,783 Well, I suppose congratulations are in order. 115 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,285 Oh, well, thank you, sir. 116 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,037 Yeah, I never thought I'd get her, but it looks like 117 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:15,834 Becky here is going to be my ever-loving, everlasting, little bundle of kisses. 118 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,381 Little bundle of open-mouth kisses. 119 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,385 Isn't he sweet? 120 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,054 I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple, 121 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,056 and especially to Rebecca Howe, 122 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,726 the only thing I ever wanted and haven't gotten. 123 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,144 Same here. 124 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,563 Will you excuse me just for a minute? 125 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,025 Hey, Sammy! 126 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,651 Quite a squeeze-a-rooni you got there. 127 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,612 I had no idea. 128 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,822 Sammy, tell me it isn't true. 129 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,741 Carla, come on. It's not true. 130 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,784 I knew that. You're a lousy actor. 131 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,786 I'm pretty good, though, huh? 132 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,705 Well, actually, Carla, 133 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,582 as a student of the theater, I have to correct you. 134 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,417 What you were doing there is not called acting. 135 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,793 It's called improvising. 136 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,170 Shut up, Woody. 137 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,047 Now, that would be directing. 138 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:07,928 So when's the big event? 139 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,096 I was kind of planning on tonight. 140 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,306 You're getting married tonight? 141 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,390 Married? Oh, no, I'm sorry. 142 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,892 I thought you were talking about something else. 143 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,022 It is definitely not gonna be tonight. 144 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:23,485 The important thing is, that we are as one for evermore, 145 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,654 honeys till the end of time. 146 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,822 Well, Sam, I guess you wouldn't be interested 147 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,951 in spending the next month tending bar at a seaside resort 148 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,619 we reopened in Cancun. 149 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,537 I'm there! Whoa, hey. 150 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,290 - Sam! - Oh, right. Yeah. 151 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,042 That wouldn't be fair to Rebecca here. 152 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,336 Who could we get to replace me? 153 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,506 No problem. I'll make an exchange with the bartender down there. 154 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799 Well, then I'm out of here. 155 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,258 Hey, I'll see you in a month. 156 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,636 - Adios, amigos! - Sam? 157 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,013 Sam! Sam? 158 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:54,808 Sam. 159 00:07:56,935 --> 00:08:01,982 Martin, is this your little way of breaking Sam and me up? 160 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,360 It's a bona fide offer. I need an experienced man down there. 161 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,737 I know what you're thinking. 162 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,447 You're thinking that when Sam gets down there, 163 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,866 and he's all alone, he's gonna start roving. 164 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,244 Well, I can tell you this, you can send Sam away 165 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,288 for a month or a year, and he will only think of me. 166 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,707 Excuse me. 167 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,210 Do they have drugstores there, or should I pack an extra bag? 168 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,433 Ramon, Ramon, Ramon. 169 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,144 You have been a terrific replacement for Sammy. 170 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,438 I'm really gonna be sorry to see you go. 171 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,568 Although I will enjoy watching you walk up the stairs. 172 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,197 Mi corazón Está Triste 173 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,492 Porque voy extrañar toda la gente de Cheers. 174 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:56,995 Mi Carlita. 175 00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,873 La más que todas. 176 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,672 -Adios, amigos. - Bye. Take care of yourself. 177 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,343 I don't know what that Latin lover said, 178 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,471 but I sure dig the way he said it. 179 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:20,060 If you ask me, Ramon's a lot more Latin than lover. 180 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:24,522 You know, study after study show that the old sons of Spain 181 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,649 just don't have our sexual prowess. 182 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,112 Cliff ie, nobody has your sexual prowess. 183 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:33,823 Thanks, man. 184 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,493 You know, it seems that the tropical sun 185 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,286 dries out a man's vital juices. 186 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:40,997 You ever seen a raisin? 187 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,542 Have you ever seen a doctor? 188 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,840 Sam was supposed to be in hours ago. 189 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,467 Has anybody heard from him yet? 190 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,844 No one's heard a word from him in weeks. 191 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,892 Hello, Rebecca. 192 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,560 Heard from Sam recently? 193 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,479 Have I? 194 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,314 Every hour on the hour. 195 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,149 It's almost embarrassing. 196 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,485 Well, then what's happened seems all the more curious. 197 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,653 What's happened? 198 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:12,904 According to our reports, 199 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,032 Mr. Malone missed the corporate jet home. 200 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,159 I'm sure there's a simple explanation. 201 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:21,996 I'll just call Cancun this afternoon and find out what the trouble is. 202 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,416 We have Cancun on the line. 203 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,919 You're so helpful. 204 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,213 I'm five months from retirement. 205 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,843 Hello? Sam, hi, this is Rebecca. 206 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,387 You must have missed your plane, you naughty boy. 207 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,098 So when should I pick you up at the airport, my darling? 208 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,599 Sam? 209 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,477 Sam? Hello? 210 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,702 Sam? Sam? 211 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,586 Hello, operator? Operator? 212 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,463 Yes, I was just talking to my fiancé and... 213 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,007 Oh, I'm sorry. 214 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:20,263 Me talk-o to me boy-o amigo in Cancun, 215 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,307 and we were cut off-o. 216 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,436 It's a beautiful language, isn't it? 217 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,857 What? You no operator? 218 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,400 You booseboy? 219 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,319 Oh, busboy. 220 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:35,320 Okay, adiós. 221 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,654 No, no adiós. 222 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,489 Damn. 223 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,991 Thank you, Dennis. 224 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,246 Rebecca, you're not losing anything in Sam. 225 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,999 I hear he hasn't stopped fooling around since he got down there. 226 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,793 - You had him watched? - I didn't have to. 227 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,087 The man's escapades have become legendary. 228 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,090 The Indians in the mountains sing a folk song about him. 229 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,513 Rebecca, let me help you take your mind off your problems. 230 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,973 I'll pick you up for dinner, 231 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,185 maybe a drink, a trip to Paris, a few laughs. 232 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:11,564 Martin, not tonight. I really need time to get over this. 233 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,943 Well, then, tomorrow night. I won't take no for an answer. 234 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,657 I got him. 235 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:25,745 I caught my little Ricardo Montalbán just as he was getting into a cab. 236 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,455 Go get your little apron on, honey. 237 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,167 Carla, how come you call Ramon Ricardo Montalbán? 238 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,044 Because his tight little chinos 239 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,463 are so packed with rich Corinthian leather. 240 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,344 Oh, yeah, I see now that you mention it. 241 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,847 I'd... I'd hate to change the subject, 242 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,391 but I don't know if anyone else recognizes 243 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,393 we seem to have a little problem here. 244 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,436 Oh, you need another beer, Mr. Peterson? 245 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,648 Okay, we have two problems. 246 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,069 There's a distinct possibility that Sammy may never come back. 247 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:01,322 Frankly, I don't blame him. Beautiful weather, miles of beaches. 248 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,740 Yeah, chicks. 249 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,077 No suits, no rules, no tight shoes to pinch your feet. 250 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,830 It would be good to get out of the city a little bit, wouldn't it? 251 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,958 I got five vacation days coming to me. 252 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,044 Say, it may be a crazy idea, but why don't we go down there, too? 253 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,339 Lie out in the sun for a while, work on that old mañana attitude. 254 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,425 Should we do it? What do you say, guys? 255 00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:24,804 Ah, maybe tomorrow. 256 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,983 Excuse me, bartender. 257 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,110 Can we get a couple of piña coladas over here? 258 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,988 Sure thing. Let me just finish making this margarita. 259 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,489 So, anyway, Margarita... 260 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,619 Buenas noches, amigos. 261 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,663 Hey! 262 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,799 - ¿Que tal, Pepe? - Los calzones, Sammy. 263 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,801 Esta agua Está muy fría. 264 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,554 Good one, man. Good one. 265 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,143 Let's go, Sam. We're leaving. I have a cab outside. 266 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,021 Beckita, what are you doing here? 267 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,065 I took the liberty of stopping by your room 268 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,691 and packing your bags. 269 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,319 I can't believe you didn't pack one pair of underpants. 270 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,405 Now, come on. We're going home. 271 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,700 Home? Sweetheart. I'm... 272 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,161 This is home. I love this place. 273 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,205 Sam, we are leaving and we are leaving now. 274 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,165 I'm not gonna get stuck with Martin. 275 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,626 Oh, right. The little one. 276 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,961 Sweetheart, yeah, I gotta tell ya, 277 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,963 I think it's high time you told him the truth. 278 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,424 I can't tell him the truth. I'll get fired. 279 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,969 Well, they got plenty of good job opportunities down here. 280 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,972 Can you paint pictures on turtles? 281 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,976 Sam, I am asking you, 282 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,561 not as a woman speaking to a man, 283 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,272 I'm asking you as a friend. Please, Sam, 284 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,651 when you look back at all the countless selfish, 285 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,320 petty, vindictive things you've done in your life, 286 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,448 wouldn't it be wonderful if you could say, for one brief moment, 287 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,076 that you did something good and fine? 288 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,537 This shouldn't be turning me on, should it? 289 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,788 That's it. 290 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,290 - cerveza, Sammy. - Be right there, Pepe. 291 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,710 If you won't listen to my pleas, maybe you'll listen to this. 292 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,462 You're coming with me, Sam. 293 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,678 Now, let's not do anything crazy here. 294 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,597 I bet you wish you had those underpants now. 295 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:39,647 Listen, I'm going to just reach out my hand here real slowly. 296 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:43,151 I want you to relax and take your finger off the trigger. 297 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,528 Just put the gun in my hand. 298 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,198 I'm sorry. It's not loaded. 299 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,952 I mean, I'm sorry. Period. It's not loaded. Period. 300 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,000 It's all right, everybody. It was just a joke. 301 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:03,963 I'm gonna go now. 302 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,756 Where do you think you're going? 303 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,342 You can't just walk out of here. You pulled a gun on me 304 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,344 in a resort in the middle of a foreign country. 305 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,306 They have laws, you know. Don't they? 306 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,768 Good-bye, Sam. 307 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,691 - Pobrecita. - Oh, no. 308 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:24,984 She's like that all the time. 309 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,028 This isn't even a bad day for her. 310 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,448 ¿Son todas las babes de Boston locas como esta? 311 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,242 No. She's kind of the queen of loco. 312 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,661 I mean, she was nutty the first day I met her. 313 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,540 She's hyper. You know what I mean? Hyper? 314 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,918 All she thinks about is her stupid career 315 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,294 and she keeps blowing it. 316 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,378 I can't tell you how many times 317 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,797 I've had to pull that lady's fat out of the fire. 318 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,801 Get this... you know, this is her latest escapade. 319 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,721 She wants me to pretend to be her fiancé 320 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:57,266 because she doesn't want to marry this pint-sized executive back home. 321 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,643 And what do I get for my troubles? 322 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,478 A gun stuck in my face. 323 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,356 You know what the sorriest thing is? 324 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,066 Me. 325 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:07,985 I still like her. 326 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,738 Why is that, Pepe? 327 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,492 Nice buns, Sammy? 328 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,748 You people see things so clearly. 329 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,381 Hey, Ramon, listen. We're heading over 330 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:32,468 to casa de Clavin for our weekly video film classic. 331 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,053 You want to take Sammy's seat? 332 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,096 I'm busy. 333 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,349 I got it rented for a couple of days. How about tomorrow night? 334 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,352 - I am busy. - Yeah? 335 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:42,436 Sorry. 336 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,732 He's a nice guy, that Ramon, but he's no Sammy, is he, now? 337 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,026 But then again, Cliff ie... 338 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,905 He's a lot more Sammy than you and I will ever be. 339 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,583 Hey, boss. The last of the riffraff just cleared outta here. 340 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,709 You want to lock up? 341 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,922 Sure, Carla. Can you show me how a key works again? 342 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,050 Oh, brother. You been in there drinking all night? 343 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,969 Carla, I am celebrating. 344 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:19,015 I think that I am the luckiest woman in the world. 345 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,475 I'm going to marry the geek tycoon. 346 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,105 And you know, he's gonna give me money and jewels 347 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,857 and all sorts of rich stuff. 348 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:32,278 I'm gonna be so rich, I can stink, and no one will even tell me. 349 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,823 I'm sure you two will be very happy together. 350 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,533 I'm sure I will, too. 351 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,577 I'm gonna spend the rest of my life 352 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,913 living in big, old mansions, wearing fabulous clothes, 353 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,250 and being real nasty to the help. 354 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,587 You feeling sorry for yourself 355 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,964 because you have to marry a rich guy? 356 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,637 Come on, Carla, you wouldn't trade Eddie for him. 357 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,139 I'd trade Eddie for a ride in his car. 358 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,976 Now, if you'll excuse me, 359 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,104 I have a spam casserole lurking in the oven. 360 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,778 Hey, we're the same size. 361 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,664 Hi, honey. You're home. 362 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,710 See? Aren't I gonna make you a wonderful wife? 363 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,379 You've been drinking, haven't you? 364 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,423 Just a sippy or two to celebrate. 365 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,133 Well, now that Sam's out of the picture, 366 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,094 I assume that leaves the path clear for me. 367 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,387 Shall we proceed? 368 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,934 Rebecca, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? 369 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:46,602 I guess. 370 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,940 Outstanding. Shall we set a date? 371 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,025 Whenever. I don't care. 372 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,697 You're about to see my impulsive side. 373 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,287 This is Justice of the Peace Wilson. 374 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,457 These are four dozen long-stemmed red roses. 375 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,710 I'm the prospective bridegroom. 376 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,545 Guess what you are? 377 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,797 Dead meat on a hook? 378 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,510 Martin, you can't do this. 379 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,304 My parents aren't here. 380 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,640 Your parents aren't here. 381 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:28,227 My mother passed away, and you know my father. 382 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,276 Dennis? 383 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,278 Welcome to the family. 384 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:42,491 Rebecca, you should know by now that I haven't gotten where I am 385 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,452 by waiting for things to come to me. 386 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:47,163 As far as I'm concerned, this is a done deal. 387 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,497 So, let's make it legal. 388 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,292 Hey, baby, I'm back! Call off the Federales. 389 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,793 Sam! 390 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,297 I couldn't stay away from you for another second, my darling. 391 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:57,923 Kiss me. 392 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,604 Hey, did I interrupt something here? 393 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,398 No, Martin and I were just gonna get married. 394 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:15,649 But now that you're back... 395 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,818 Ah, Martin... 396 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,029 I'm so sorry. 397 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,450 This is really tearing me apart, 398 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,161 but I need to follow my heart. 399 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:31,081 Well, if that's what you feel, Rebecca, you got it. 400 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,918 I hope you two will be very happy together, 401 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:37,004 but remember, you blew it in a big, big way. 402 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:41,842 I hope this won't affect our business relationship. 403 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,219 Why should it? 404 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,225 Gee, when I sober up, I'm probably gonna worry about this. 405 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,477 Better not let that happen. 406 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,149 I don't believe this. 407 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,152 You came all the way back here just for me? 408 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:05,241 I just feel so terrible for everything I ever said or did to you. 409 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:10,037 Well, gee, now, there must be some way you can thank me. 410 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,581 You're right, Sam. 411 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,835 I think the time has finally come. 412 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,086 Yeah. 413 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,171 You've waited long enough. 414 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,260 Oh, no. 415 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:33,727 That's funny. Usually they pass out afterwards. 416 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,033 No, no. I am a gentleman. 417 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,621 But I may never have this chance again.