1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,884
Excuse me. Could I have
your attention, please?
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:11,094
It is my pleasure
once again to present
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,388
the Cheers
Employee of the Month Award,
5
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,767
and I am delighted to present it
to our very own Sam Malone.
6
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,268
Congratulations!
Bravo!
7
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,563
I told you before,
I don't want that thing,
8
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,981
and don't put my picture
on the wall either.
9
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,024
I hate that stuff.
10
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,193
Great speech, Sammy!
All right!
11
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,029
Fine. Carla, you haven't been
offensive this month.
12
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,155
Why don't you take it?
13
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,241
Get that thing away from me.
14
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:36,620
Woody, congratulations.
You're the Employee of the Month.
15
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,249
Wow! Four months in a row.
16
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,127
I wasn't really expecting
this great honor.
17
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,046
I'm deeply moved.
18
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,715
You know, it takes more than one person
to win this award.
19
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,759
It takes teamwork.
20
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,386
I would like to thank my...
21
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,125
Hey, same to you!
22
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,796
That's it. I've had it.
I'm finished.
23
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,299
I've been embarrassed
for the last time, I'll tell you.
24
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,800
I just came on to Rebecca
25
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,802
for the I-don't-know-
how-manyth time.
26
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,846
4,659.
27
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,432
Thank you, Carla.
28
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,184
And she shot me down
once again.
29
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,852
Well, you know, that's it.
30
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,479
That's the last time
I'm gonna do that.
31
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,523
I'm gonna get my self-respect
back starting right now.
32
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,194
Whew! feels damn good,
I'll tell you.
33
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,365
You know, Sam, there's one way
to get Rebecca that you've overlooked.
34
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,700
Hold that
self-respect thought.
35
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,369
What do you got?
36
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,662
You see, it's been
psychologically documented
37
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,538
that all human animals
38
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,583
have an erotic...
hair-trigger response
39
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,670
to at least one
of the five sensory stimuli.
40
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,880
It could be
anything actually.
41
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,174
Sound of the surf
42
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,926
pounding against the shore.
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00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,260
The smell
of honeysuckle
44
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,970
on a warm summer night.
45
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,683
Taste of a vintage
Chateauneuf-du-Pape.
46
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,143
Fire red fingernails
47
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,229
dancing through your chest hair.
48
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,483
A black lace teddy...
49
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,278
Straining against
its fleshy cargo.
50
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,741
Frasier, man,
snap out of it.
51
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,660
In a minute, Sam.
52
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,500
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy.
53
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,794
Some mornings you get up,
look at yourself in the mirror,
54
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,504
and you got to ask,
"why me?"
55
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,090
Cliff ie, it's just a haircut.
It'll grow back.
56
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,260
I'm over that, Normie.
57
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,720
I got saddled with the job
58
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,140
of breaking in
a new postal employee.
59
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,517
So I told the supervisor
to send the greenhorn down here.
60
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,852
I could size him up.
61
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,687
They made you
a trainer, huh?
62
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,398
That sounds like a compliment
to me, Cliff.
63
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,068
You really are a civilian,
aren't you, Sammy?
64
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,695
It's a nightmare.
65
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,321
Those rookies, yeah,
they just get in your way,
66
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,781
ask you stupid questions,
67
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,366
throw off your whole rhythm.
68
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,452
Oh, God, this won't
slow down the mail, will it?
69
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,249
Uh-oh. Cliff,
greenhorn alert.
70
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,126
Excuse me.
Cliff Clavin?
71
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,544
I am.
72
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,629
I'm your trainee
Margaret O'Keefe.
73
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,174
Straighten up, O'Keefe.
You're in uniform.
74
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,391
I wasn't informed
you were a woman.
75
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,310
Sorry, sir.
76
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,728
Well, no offense, sister,
77
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,271
but I just don't believe
78
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,148
that women belong
in the trenches.
79
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,609
I mean, they're fine for sorting mail
or selling stamps,
80
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,611
but when you're
lugging a 40-pound sack
81
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,322
up a hill with a Nor'easter hitting you
right smack in the kisser,
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00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:44,367
you don't have time to fret about
going home and soaking your delicates.
83
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,871
I wear cotton briefs, sir.
84
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,873
That'll be enough
of that, O'Keefe.
85
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,836
Permission to speak
freely, sir.
86
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,130
Permission granted.
87
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,673
I requested you
as my trainer
88
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,717
because I want
to learn hard
89
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,219
and I want to learn right.
90
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,012
I want to be the best carrier
91
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,473
in the department
next to you of course
92
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,851
because I love the post office
more than my life itself.
93
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:13,730
Good grief,
there's another one.
94
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,732
The post office
is in my blood.
95
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,902
My father was a carrier
and his father before him.
96
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,570
It's been a lifelong
dream of mine to wear
97
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,739
the eagle on my sleeve
98
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,200
and to be a part of the few,
the proud--
99
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,993
The undatable.
100
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:33,083
Well, your attitude
is commendable there, O'Keefe.
101
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,543
Lookit...
102
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,586
I think you better
mosey on home now,
103
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,879
grab some shuteye.
104
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,924
You're going to need
plenty of sleep.
105
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,302
Tomorrow is TV Guide day.
106
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,597
I'll do you proud, sir.
107
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,516
Eh, we'll see
about that.
108
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,688
Was it my imagination
109
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,816
or was that woman
coming on to me?
110
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:01,027
Cliff ie, Walt Disney
should have had your imagination.
111
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,949
Say, hi, honey.
Frasier and I were just talking
112
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,827
about how sorry
we feel about you.
113
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,829
Why is that, Sammy?
114
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,123
Well, it's just that
you're always stuck in your office,
115
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,917
worrying about losses
and profits and career moves,
116
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,962
while we're out here having
fascinating fun-filled conversations
117
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,338
about things like...
118
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,674
Oh, like sexual...
119
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,385
Stimuluses... es.
120
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,806
By the way,
do you have one of those?
121
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,270
Well, I am driven
to a sexual frenzy
122
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,648
By people who mind
their own business.
123
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:39,816
No, no. Really, listen.
124
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,151
It's not like I'm going
125
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,153
to do anything
with it or anything.
126
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,738
Ok, I'll be honest
with you.
127
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,157
I do have one,
and I'll give you a hint.
128
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,534
Great. Why?
129
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,202
Because you'll never get it.
130
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,663
And I mean that in every
sense of the word.
131
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,416
It's a song.
132
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,419
That's it? It's a song?
133
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,880
One little, tiny song
that turned my knees to butter
134
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,840
when I was a teenager
and still does.
135
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,300
Good luck, Sam.
136
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,509
The clock is ticking.
137
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,845
Name that tune.
138
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,138
This is great. A song.
139
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,766
Man, you were right, Frasier.
Thank you.
140
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,059
What luck, huh?
141
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,770
How many songs
can there be?
142
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,448
I've been going
over the books, Norm,
143
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,076
and I think it's time
to pay your tab.
144
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,787
Gee, thanks, Rebecca.
145
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,290
I mean, it's time for you
to pay your tab.
146
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,834
Me? I paid it last month.
147
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,837
Okay. Okay. Fine.
148
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,422
Blue on blue
149
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,423
No.
150
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,716
Heartache
151
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:47,884
Cherish is the word that I
152
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,594
No.
153
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,347
In-a-Gadda-da-vida, baby
154
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,350
Right, Sam.
I was insane.
155
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,143
I'll find it.
156
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,436
Sam.
157
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,021
Why don't you try
"Che Gelida Manina"
158
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,523
From La Boheme?
159
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,316
It can be almost
achingly poignant
160
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,360
when executed correctly.
161
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,779
And it does turn Lilith
into a cheap tramp.
162
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,908
Sammy, Sammy,
Sammy, Sammy.
163
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,660
Aren't you overlooking
the obvious here?
164
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,078
What's that?
165
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,414
"Ballad of the Green Berets."
166
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,376
Oh, that's a great song.
167
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:24,963
Fighting soldiers
from the sky
168
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,465
Anybody who isn't totally moved
by that song
169
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,801
is somebody
I don't want to know.
170
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,511
Cliff, in honor of that song,
171
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,139
why don't you put on a little
green beret,
172
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,725
go outside, and sit
on a land mine?
173
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,355
Oh, there you are, Cliff.
174
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,898
Ooh, it's Cliff now.
175
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,358
Training must
be going very well.
176
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,110
She's a natural.
177
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,862
I'm really sorry
about today.
178
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,448
I can't believe I missed
that entire apartment building.
179
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,658
Ah! The tradition continues.
180
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,746
Listen, Margaret,
why don't we sit over here,
181
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,624
away from those who merely
wait for the mail?
182
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,586
Here you go.
Park it right there.
183
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,838
I just wanted to tell you, Cliff,
that I couldn't have made it
184
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,631
through training
without you.
185
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,216
You'll be graduating
with honors.
186
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,760
Really?
187
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,011
Well, how could you not
with the recommendation
188
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,179
I gave you, huh?
189
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,722
Oh, Cliff, thank you.
190
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,433
Thank you. Thank you.
191
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,648
In honor of your achievement,
192
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:30,737
I went out and got you
a little gift.
193
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,157
Thank you.
You really shouldn't have.
194
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,367
Arch supports.
195
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,952
Yeah. Yeah.
196
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,662
I got you the large size, too.
197
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,541
I noticed you got a pretty hefty pair
of dogs down there.
198
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,962
Cliff, you are so considerate.
199
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,050
What we've been through together
has been so special.
200
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,051
Yeah.
201
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,678
I wish there was a way
I could be closer to you.
202
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,057
Eh, scooch on over.
203
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,184
No, I didn't--
Oh, never mind.
204
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,103
This is so embarrassing.
I'm not good at this.
205
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,063
I mean,
why would a man like you
206
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,981
even consider someone
like me?
207
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,026
Margaret, what in God's name
are you trying to say here?
208
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,611
Cliff, do you find me attractive?
209
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,738
I mean, physically?
210
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,783
Cliff, do you want
to be with me?
211
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,243
I want to be with you.
212
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,623
So it's a date. I'll come over
to your place tomorrow night.
213
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,125
My place?
No. Hey!
214
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,335
Margaret, Margaret,
hold--hold on there.
215
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:30,547
Listen, last month,
my mother came out and stayed a while,
216
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,006
and she got to know
the neighbors real well,
217
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,341
and I don't want
word getting back to her
218
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,176
that her son
does bad things.
219
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,596
Then...
220
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,431
Why don't we meet
at that little motel
221
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,684
Just outside zone 27?
222
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,686
Tomorrow night
after work?
223
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,439
I guess I could make it.
224
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,471
Hi, Cliff.
225
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,890
Hi, Margaret.
226
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,141
Come on in.
227
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,356
I hope you like the room.
228
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,984
It's got a view.
229
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,072
Oh, the ice machine.
230
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,867
It's just like you
to think of everything.
231
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,246
So...
232
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,582
So.
233
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:52,712
So... let me grab
your jacket there.
234
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,685
Cliff, I know
this is an awkward moment.
235
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,730
Couldn't we just
somehow get past it?
236
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,357
I'm for that.
237
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,524
Oh!
238
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,820
Oh, Maggie.
Oh, Maggie. Maggie!
239
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,239
Oh, Cliff.
240
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,406
Oh, Maggie.
241
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,118
Yes?
242
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,328
This is the police.
243
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,877
My first time,
and I get arrested.
244
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,340
We aren't doing
anything illegal.
245
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,425
Answer the door.
246
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,135
Right.
247
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,016
Yes, Officer?
248
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,268
Excuse me.
249
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,811
We're questioning
all the guests.
250
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,938
Do you know anything
about this postal vehicle
251
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,148
parked outside?
It was reported stolen.
252
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:02,031
I don't know anything about it, Officer.
253
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,241
Sorry to bother you.
254
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,451
Yeah. Not at all, sir.
255
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,080
What are you, crazy?
256
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,250
You drove a postal vehicle
to a sleazy motel?
257
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,837
Well I was running late,
and I didn't want to keep you waiting.
258
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,797
Keep me waiting?
259
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,049
For crying out loud, Margaret!
260
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,176
You signed that vehicle out
in your own name.
261
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,553
Oh...
262
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,305
You've had it now. You've had it.
263
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,265
Oh, they're gonna drum you
right out of the service.
264
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,933
Well, Cliff, you've got to help me.
265
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,561
You've got to make up a story
to cover for me.
266
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,854
You want me to lie,
267
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,523
you want me to
to jeopardize my career?
268
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,859
This is my life.
This is my dream.
269
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,736
This is my shoulder.
270
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,448
This is our story.
271
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,456
Hello, Mrs. Howe.
272
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,083
I work with your daughter.
My name is Sam Malone.
273
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:58,504
See, I'm calling to find out
what Rebecca's favorite song was
274
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,922
when she was in school.
275
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,508
We're throwing
this little party for her.
276
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,595
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Well, thank you. Yes, I do.
277
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,971
Thank you very much.
278
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,848
Bye-bye.
279
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,059
"You've Lost
That Loving Feeling."
280
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,228
Oh, no, Sam.
I'm just a little tired.
281
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:18,900
No, Woody, no.
282
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,486
That's Rebecca's song.
283
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,945
Hold the bar down here
for a minute, will you?
284
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:25,281
I got to get something
out of my car.
285
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,616
- Hey, Sammy.
- Yeah.
286
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:30,495
Woody. A bottle of bubbly
tout de suite.
287
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,497
All right. Cliff ie's
in a celebratin' mood.
288
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,332
That hearing must
have gone well, huh?
289
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,541
Perfect, Norm.
290
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,585
Margaret was completely
exonerated.
291
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:38,753
You really snowed them, huh?
292
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,047
Like a blizzard in Buffalo,
my friend.
293
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,049
Yeah. I told the supervisor
that we were set upon
294
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,342
by some armed thugs,
295
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,635
who then commandeered the vehicle,
296
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,011
took it for a joy ride.
297
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,555
A joy ride in a mail truck?
298
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,891
Cliff ie, I've beaten those things on foot.
299
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,520
Clavin, what's come over you?
300
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,063
You're lying to your superiors,
301
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,439
you're breaking rules,
302
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,233
you're covering up.
303
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,528
It's almost like
you're developing a personality.
304
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,572
Well, Carla, the King of England
abdicated his throne
305
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,992
for the love of a good woman.
Least I could do is tell a little fib.
306
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,995
Well, as we say down
at the post office,
307
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,415
here's looking
up your address.
308
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,380
Come on, Maggie.
Bottoms up.
309
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,800
- I can't, Cliff.
- Why?
310
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,260
How can we celebrate?
311
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,594
We've dishonored
the uniform.
312
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,721
I don't feel worthy
to wear it.
313
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,932
Yeah, I understand.
314
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,851
Look...
315
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,185
Why don't we go back
to that motel,
316
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:39,272
lie down, and talk about it, huh?
317
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,648
No, Cliff.
318
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,191
Do you think I fell for you
319
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,112
because you're a handsome,
sexy man?
320
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,613
I fell for you
321
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,992
because you're handsome inside,
322
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,829
but now, even though I'm
the one that corrupted you,
323
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,831
you are corrupt.
324
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:03,087
We're both dirty inside.
325
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,465
Let's go back to the motel.
326
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,300
They cater to people like us.
327
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,761
No. I can't be with you anymore.
328
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,432
I don't feel what I felt before.
I'm sorry.
329
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,893
Well... is there any way
330
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,562
we could, you know,
get that feeling back?
331
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,106
We can tell them the truth.
332
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,233
Oh, no, Margaret.
If you tell them the truth,
333
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,068
they're gonna know
that I lied.
334
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,863
Yes, but with your record,
the worst that will happen to us
335
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,490
is that we'll get a slap on the wrist,
336
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,075
and then we can get on
with our lives.
337
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,204
You know what's going to happen,
don't you?
338
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,164
What we did
back at that motel
339
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,000
is gonna become part
of the postal record.
340
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,002
I can live with that.
341
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,089
Me, too.
342
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,550
Do you think they'd give us
a copy of that?
343
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,641
Do you think they really rode
the carnal carrousel?
344
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,186
I think it's possible.
345
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,687
What a thought.
346
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,105
I know. if you don't mind,
347
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,775
I'd kind of like to forget it.
348
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,485
Hey, everybody!
349
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,362
This is Station W-S-A-M,
350
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,197
50,000 watts
of power-packed love
351
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,490
coming your way.
352
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,699
I'll be spinning
the platters that matter here,
353
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,828
and this next moldy oldie
is dedicated to the one I lust.
354
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,915
- Who is it?
- The righteous brothers.
355
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,625
Uh-oh.
356
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,670
Hello there, butter knees.
357
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:34,887
Oh, my love
358
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:39,016
My darling
359
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,061
I've hungered for your touch
360
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:52,947
A long, lonely time
361
00:17:56,701 --> 00:18:03,082
And time goes by
362
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,378
So slowly
363
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:14,176
And time can do so much
364
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:21,058
Are you still mine?
365
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,899
I need your love
366
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,694
Rebecca, this tab, look--
367
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:38,951
I need your love
368
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,754
So... I can pay this
anytime you want.
369
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,047
I don't know
what got into me.
370
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,923
Please apologize to Vera.
371
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,760
Are you kidding? After that,
Vera should apologize to me.
372
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,933
Hey, Mr. Peterson.
How'd it go with Miss Howe?
373
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,311
Much better than I expected,
Woody.
374
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,277
"Slap on the wrist," she says.
375
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,489
"With your record, all we'll get
is a severe reprimand," she says.
376
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,740
So what happens?
377
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,951
She gets fired,
and I get six weeks
378
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,996
Walking
dreaded zone 19.
379
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,456
Zone 19?
380
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,417
Rotweiler Ridge, Norm.
381
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,963
Aw, what the heck?
382
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,591
At least, I won back
the respect
383
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,385
of the woman I love, huh?
384
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,180
Maggie!
What are you doing here?
385
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,807
Cliff, I've got to talk to you.
386
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:43,974
What's up?
387
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,393
After I was fired,
388
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,061
I wandered around aimlessly.
389
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,813
Nowhere to go,
didn't know what to do.
390
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,399
And as I was crossing
the bridge,
391
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,567
I actually thought I'd do
something desperate.
392
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,944
Oh, no. You don't mean--
393
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,405
Yes, UPS
394
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,828
Then I thought,
"Why should I do that?
395
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,413
There are alternatives."
396
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:08,165
I came up
with a wonderful idea.
397
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,042
The Canadian Postal Service.
398
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:13,587
Canada? Jeez.
Why would you want to go up there?
399
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:14,797
The mail's the mail, Cliff.
400
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,758
It knows no national boundaries.
401
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,844
- Come with me.
- What?
402
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:20,803
I've got two tickets, Cliff.
403
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,972
We could start
a new life there together.
404
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,890
Jeez, Maggie,
I don't know.
405
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,309
Go. Marry her.
Be happy.
406
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,562
Just don't have any children.
407
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:37,236
What the heck?
I mean, we come this far.
408
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,363
Might as well
go the whole nine yards, huh?
409
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,740
Well, let's go!
410
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,159
Hold on a second.
I'll be right with you.
411
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,411
Normie. Pal of mine,
412
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,496
I'll be seeing you.
413
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,956
It's for the best.
414
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:51,333
Cliff, did you just
kiss me on the neck?
415
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,418
I don't know what it is.
416
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,879
Nobody can keep
their lips off me today.
417
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,590
Fras, take care of yourself.
418
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,091
Carla, I forgive you.
419
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,342
- Sammy.
- Cliff, wait a minute.
420
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,094
Hey, man.
Just think about this for a minute.
421
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,346
You've only known the girl
for about a week.
422
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,348
I mean, all you've shared
is one night in a motel
423
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,725
And a huge lie.
424
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,393
That's enough for me, Sammy.
425
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,063
Well, Cliff,
426
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,191
why don't you consider what
you'd be giving up--
427
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,277
Your job, your seniority,
your pension.
428
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,821
Yeah, Doc, but have a gander
429
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,573
at what I'm gonna be gaining.
430
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,950
All right Maggie, hitch up
those huskies.
431
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,911
Canada, here we come.
432
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,954
Cliff, wait a minute, man.
433
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,206
Give this some thought.
434
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,582
Think about what
you're doing here.
435
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,375
I know what you guys are doing,
and I appreciate it.
436
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,629
But there's nothing
you could do or say
437
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,840
To make me change my mind.
438
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:44,428
Fearless men
who jump and die
439
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:48,265
Men who mean
just what they say
440
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:53,145
The brave men
of the green beret
441
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,741
Margaret...
442
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:08,953
You're a fine woman.
443
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,457
But I can't
leave my country.
444
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,380
My place is here...
in America.
445
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:24,134
I can't leave my home.
446
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:28,055
Can't you...
can't you stay here with me?
447
00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,598
I'm a mail carrier, Cliff.
448
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,600
I have to deliver the mail.
449
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,730
I understand.
450
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,859
But, Cliff, it'll be so terrible.
451
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,903
I'll be so cold and all alone.
452
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:44,905
Who will keep me warm?
453
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,993
You'll do fine, Margaret.
454
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:52,496
Women have that
extra layer of fat.
455
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,423
Carry on, O'Keefe.
456
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:05,968
I'll never forget you,
Cliff Clavin.
457
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,636
Good-bye.
458
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:10,890
One hundred men
459
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,684
Will test one day
460
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:19,189
But only three
wear the green beret